Charlie Wheeler
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Quotes for
Charlie Wheeler (Character)
from "Friends" (1994)

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"Friends: The One in Barbados: Part 1 (#9.23)" (2003)
Dr. Ross Geller: [Reading his speech to Charlie] ... By using CT scans, and computer imaging, we can in a very real way bring the Mesezoic Era into the 21st century.
Charlie Wheeler: [In astonishment] It's great. You're gonna be the hit of the conference.
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, and you know what, that'll be even better tomorrow because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.
[opens the door for Joey, Chandler and Rachel]
Joey: Hey guys!
Dr. Ross Geller: [to Joey] The chocolates aren't here yet.
Joey: [Walks in in disappointment] Dammit!
Charlie Wheeler: [to Joey] Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic.
Chandler Bing: [to Charlie] Oh, is it on the computer? 'Cause I'd like to give it a read.
Dr. Ross Geller: [to Chandler] If you want to check your email, just ask.
Chandler Bing: What?
[Realizing Ross caught his bluff]
Chandler Bing: 'Kay.
[Friendlily pats Ross on his chest]

Dr. Ross Geller: [after they've successfully rewrote a lost speech] Hey um... what do you say we celebrate. Champaign?
Charlie Wheeler: Oh yea! Hey, save the cork, and that way we can fill the bottle up with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Dr. Ross Geller: [In amazement] Oh my God, I love you.

"Friends: The One Where Ross Is Fine (#10.2)" (2003)
Ross: [Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas, then Ross enters the scene] I'd like to make a toast, to Rachel and Joey
Rachel: Ooyy!
Ross: And... to *love*.
[Rachel, Joey and Charlie are about to drink their margaritas]
Ross: Ahh, love... l-o-v-e. L is for life, and what is life without love?
Rachel: [to Joey] Oh my god, I was supposed to answer?
Ross: O is for Oh WOW! V is for this very surprising turn of events which I am still fine with, by the way.
[Rachel, Joey and Charlie are about to drink their margaritas again]
Ross: E is for how *extremely* normal I find it that *you* two are together... and that one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Joey: [awkward silence] Dude, are you okay?
Ross: Totally!
[drinks margarita]
Rachel: Ross, you don't seem OK.
Ross: I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some *flan*!
Charlie Wheeler: Wait Ross, Ross, I-I have to take off.
Ross: Nooo!
Charlie Wheeler: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Charlie Wheeler: *You're on fire*! I'll call you in the morning, ok?
Ross: OK.
[goes to kitchen]
Charlie Wheeler: Oh God Rachel, what Ross just said, that is-...
Rachel: Oh!that's ok, girls tend not to like me.
Charlie Wheeler: Bye.
Ross: [Ross enters the room with flan] OK! I guess it's just flan for three! Hey... hey, that rhymed!
Rachel: You know what Ross? I think we're gonna take of too.
Ross: Oh, oh... Of course! God, I'm so stupid, you guys are a couple now and you probably just wanna be alone.
Rachel: No, no, it's just that it's getting late-...
Ross: Hey, hey, it's fine, it's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas, it's all good.
[oven timer sounds]
Ross: I don't even know what that's for.

Rachel: I'm sorry, this must be so embarrassing.
Charlie Wheeler: Oh, don't worry. My father was a raging alcoholic.
[Rachel looks stunned]
Charlie Wheeler: Oh, I'm sorry, did I make things awkward?

"Friends: The One with Ross' Grant (#10.6)" (2003)
Charlie Wheeler: Wait, are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah, why?
Charlie Wheeler: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
Dr. Ross Geller: Your ex-boyfriend?
Charlie Wheeler: Yeah.
Dr. Ross Geller: So your ex-boyfriend is going to determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed.

"Friends: The One with the Fertility Test (#9.21)" (2003)
Charlie Wheeler: First, I have to see the Met!
Joey: Ok, let me stop you right there, the Mets suck. You wanna see the Yankees!
Charlie Wheeler: No not the Mets, the Met, singular.
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
Charlie Wheeler: The museum.
Joey: I don't think so...

"Friends: The One in Barbados: Part 2 (#9.24)" (2003)
Charlie Wheeler: I broke up with Joey. I mean he was fun, but every time I was with him, I found myself thinking about you. Oh, my God, it's like I'm your groupie!
Ross: [chuckling nervously] Wow, my own groupie. I just better not catch you naked in my hotel room. Oops, I just took it too far, didn't I?