Dr. Richard Burke
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Quotes for
Dr. Richard Burke (Character)
from "Friends" (1994)

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"Friends: The One Where Ross and Rachel... You Know (#2.15)" (1996)
Monica: I'm dating a guy whose pool I once peed in.
Richard: I didn't need to know that.

"Friends: The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends (#3.13)" (1997)
Monica: So, can we still be friends and have sex?
Richard: Sure, it'll just be something we do together, like racquetball.

"Friends: The One Where Old Yeller Dies (#2.20)" (1996)
Phoebe Buffay: Hey. Whatcha guys doin'?
Dr. Richard Burke: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
Phoebe Buffay: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
Rachel Green: What?
Dr. Ross Geller: What're you talking about?
Phoebe Buffay: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.
Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah, but Pheebs, what about the end?
Phoebe Buffay: What when Yeller saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?
Rachel Green: That's not the end.
Phoebe Buffay: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
Monica Geller: What about the part where he has rabies?
Phoebe Buffay: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
Dr. Richard Burke: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Phoebe Buffay: What, what's about to happen?
[starts watching]
Phoebe Buffay: I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, whatcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no, no Travis, put down the gun. No, no, no, no he-he's your buddy. He's your Yeller! No, no, no! The end, THE END!
[hears the gunshot from the TV]
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, what kind of sick doggy snuff film is this?

"Friends: The One with the Proposal: Part 1 (#6.24)" (2000)
[Chandler and Monica run into Richard and his new girlfriend]
Richard: I see you grew your hair long.
Monica: Yeah. Oh, that's right, you always wanted me to. I see you grew your mustache back.
Richard: Yeah, my nose was getting lonely.
Chandler: [to Richard's date] And you don't have a mustache, which is good.
[laughs, stops abruptly and extends his hand]
Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler and I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.

"Friends: The One with the Chicken Pox (#2.23)" (1996)
Monica Geller: [lamenting that Richard isn't as obsessive as she is] I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing! My boyfriend doesn't have a thing!
Dr. Richard Burke: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well there.