Will Colbert
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Quotes for
Will Colbert (Character)
from "Friends" (1994)

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"Friends: The One with the Rumor (#8.9)" (2001)
[Will gives a cake to Monica]
Will: It's no fat, no sugar, no dairy... It's no good, throw it out.

Ross: So what are you up to?
Will: I'm a commodities broker.
Ross: Really? That sounds interesting?
Will: Yeah, no, it's not but I'm rich and thin.

Rachel: The "I Hate Rachel Green Club"? Who was in this club?
Will: Me and Ross...
Ross: There's no need to point; she knows who Ross is.
Rachel: Ross! Who else?
Ross: Well, there was that exchange student from Thailand, but I don't think he really understand what it was.
Rachel: [to Monica] Did you know about this?
Monica: I swear I didn't know. Wait a minute; is that why the two of you used to go into your room and lock the door?
Ross: [ashamed] Uh, yes.
Monica: Gotta tell you; that's a relief.

Will: Look at her holding those yams. Those are our two worst enemies, Ross - Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

Will: [about how he hated Rachel in high school] It wasn't just me. We had a club.
Rachel: You had a club?
Will: That's right. The I Hate Rachel Green Club.
Rachel: O my God! So what? You all just join together to hate me? Who else was in this club?
Will: Me and Ross.
[points to Ross]
Ross: No need to point. She knows who Ross is.

Rachel: Do you have a problem with me?
Will: I dunno... do I, do I?
Phoebe: I think you do!

Ross: It was no big deal. We... we said that... the rumor was that you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Rachel: What?
Will: That's right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided that Rachel was a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Monica: You started that?
Rachel: What? You heard that?
Monica: Everyone at our school heard it!
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?

Will: God, we were lame back then. Remember how into dinosaurs we were?
[to Ross]
Will: So what do you do now?

Ross: I'm back in the club!
Will: Yeah. Shall I call a meeting to order?
Ross: Is everybody present?
Will: With the exception if Tiktaka.
Phoebe: I want to join!
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, but I never got to be in a club. I didn't go to high school. But three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.