John Constantine
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Quotes for
John Constantine (Character)
from Constantine (2005)

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Constantine (2005)
John Constantine: Angels and Demons can't cross over onto our plane. So, instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. But a single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch like those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit.

John Constantine: So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell. I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my... retirement.
Angela Dodson: I don't understand.
John Constantine: I'm a suicide, Angela. When I die, the rules say I've got just one place to go...
Angela Dodson: You're trying to buy your way into heaven.
John Constantine: What would *you* do if you were sentenced to a prison where half the inmates were put there by you?

Satan: Hello, John. John, hello. You're the one soul I would come up here to collect myself.
[claps giddily]
John Constantine: So I've heard.

John Constantine: They have the Spear of Destiny.
Satan: [mocking him] "They have the Spear of Destiny!"
[becomes serious, leans in]
Satan: Or is it another one of your cons?
John Constantine: Go look for yourself.
[Satan hesitates]
John Constantine: You've waited twenty years for me, Lu. What's another twenty seconds?

Satan: Sonny, I've got a whole theme park full of red delights for you.
John Constantine: Aren't you a peach?

John Constantine: Word is that kid of yours is a chip off the old block.
Satan: Well, one does what one can.
John Constantine: He's in the other room.
Satan: Boys will be boys.
John Constantine: With Gabriel.
Satan: [looking disgusted] No accounting for taste, really.

John Constantine: You mind?
[reaches for cigarettes]
Satan: Oh, go - go right ahead; I've got stock.
John Constantine: [chuckles] Coffin nail.
Satan: Very fitting, John.

[Angela is about to submerge herself in a bathtub to transport herself to Hell]
Angela Dodson: So, umm... So, what's gonna happen?
John Constantine: Lie down.
Angela Dodson: What do you - What do you mean, lie down?
John Constantine: You have to be fully submerged.
Angela Dodson: For how long?
John Constantine: As long as it takes.
Angela Dodson: Okay.
John Constantine: Take a deep one.
Angela Dodson: [Angela breathes in and goes under; after being held under for too long, she emerges from the bathtub] Oh, God. Oh, God, all those people. Oh, Isabel. I've always known. I've always known where they are. I've always known where to - where to find them, where to - where to aim and where to duck, and I've always known where they were. I've always known that it wasn't luck. Always known that it wasn't luck. I've always known, I've always known that I could see.

John Constantine: I need you to leave.
Angela Dodson: I'm sorry.
John Constantine: Angela, please.
Angela Dodson: Okay.
[heads for her room]
John Constantine: The apartment.
Angela Dodson: Okay. Be careful with that cat.
[cat meows and Angela begins to close the door]
John Constantine: God, I hate this part.

Angela Dodson: Hold the door. You going down?
John Constantine: Not if I can help it.

John Constantine: [choking] Smile pretty, you vain prick!
[He moves aside, givng the possessed girl a view of the mirror; the demon flies out of her and is trapped in the mirror. Constantine looks over his shoulder and flips it the bird]
John Constantine: For your boss.

John Constantine: [speaking to God] I know I'm not one of your favorites. I'm not even welcome in your house. But, I could use a little attention.

Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.

[after Gabriel has been transformed into a human]
Gabriel: [eagerly] Do you want revenge? Is that what you're thinking right now? Do it.
[hands Constantine's Holy Shotgun to him]
Gabriel: Do it. Seek revenge. End my life. Go on. Be the hand of God.
Gabriel: It's your choice. It's always been your choice.
John Constantine: Yeah.
[punches Gabriel across the mouth, he bows over, looking shocked]
John Constantine: That's called pain. Get used to it.

Angela Dodson: She was a patient at Ravenscar. She... jumped off the roof.
John Constantine: Thought you said she was murdered?
Angela Dodson: Yeah, well, Isabel wouldn't have taken her own life.
John Constantine: Yeah, what kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy.

Balthazar: What are you doing?
John Constantine: I'm reading you your last rites.
Balthazar: Spare me your remedial incantations.
John Constantine: You do know what it is to truly be forgiven? To be welcomed into the Kingdom of God. Demon in heaven.
[anoints Balthazar's brow with holy water]
John Constantine: I'd love to be a fly on that wall.
Balthazar: You're not a priest. You have no power.
John Constantine: Just tell me how Mammon is crossing over and you can go back to your shithole.
[no response]
John Constantine: Okay, Bally, enjoy it.
[begins reading from the Bible]
John Constantine: In nomine Patri, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti. May God have mercy on you, and grant you the pardon of all your sins. Whosesoever sins you remit on Earth, they are remitted unto them in Heaven.
[Balthazar squirms]
John Constantine: How's he doing it?
Balthazar: No... I can't.
John Constantine: [louder] Grant your child entry into thy kingdom! In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit! Ame-!
Balthazar: [shouts] Sangre de Dio! The blood of God.
John Constantine: He found it.
Balthazar: Whatever killed the Son of God will give birth to the Son of the Devil.
John Constantine: [closes the Bible] By the way... you have to *ask* for absolution to be forgiven... asshole.

Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself.
John Constantine: I didn't *try* anything.

Dr. Leslie Archer: John, you really need to prepare... make arrangements.
John Constantine: No need. I already know exactly where I'm going.

John Constantine: [whispering into the ear of a possessed girl] This is Constantine. John Constantine. Asshole.

John Constantine: [to a spider he's trapped under a cigarette-smoke filled glass] Welcome to my life.

John Constantine: Detective. What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
Angela Dodson: I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
John Constantine: Humor me. No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule. Just influence. See who would win.
Angela Dodson: Okay, I'm humoring you. Why?
John Constantine: Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling.
Angela Dodson: Oh, so it's fun? It's fun when a man beats his wife to death? It's fun when a mother drowns her own baby? And you think the devil is responsible? People are evil, Mr. Constantine. People.
John Constantine: You're right. We're born capable of terrible things, but then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.
Angela Dodson: Well, this has been real educational, but... I don't believe in the devil.
John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.

John Constantine: But when you cross over... time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell is a lifetime. When I came back... I knew... all the things I could see were real. Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window. The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle.

John Constantine: [taking a necklace off of Father Hennessy] Come on, you don't need its protection. It'll be like back in the day.

John Constantine: Not bad, kid.

Chas Kramer: John, why would you do that if you know it's not my car?
John Constantine: I told you to move it.
Chas Kramer: Right, John, you did tell me to move it, but if you would have told me there was a three hundred pound mirror you were dropping with a pissed-off demon, I would have moved it further, John!

Angela Dodson: [after taking off her jacket] So, do I have to take the rest of my clothes off or can I leave them on?
[pause]
Angela Dodson: John?
John Constantine: I'm thinking...

Chas Kramer: How much longer do I have to be your slave, John?
John Constantine: You're not my slave, Chas, you're my very appreciated apprentice, like Tonto, or Robin, or that skinny fellow with the fat friend.

Midnite: Tell me this isn't about the girl?
John Constantine: Definitely, mostly not about the girl.

Midnite: [holding the lamp containing the glowing filament of the smashed bulb] Sure about this?
John Constantine: No.
[Midnite electrocutes him, John screams]

John Constantine: How's the family?
Satan: Family's doing just fine. Busy, busy, busy, busy. Need a vacation.

John Constantine: [to a room full of demons] Hi, my name's John. You are in violation of the balance. Leave immediately or I will deport you.
[stands on a chair]
John Constantine: All of you.
[no reaction]
John Constantine: Go to hell.
[John ignites a lighter and places it under a smoke-detector, activating the sprinkler system. The demons skin starts to burn]
Ellie: Holy water?
[the demons' flesh burns and they scream in agony]

[after Satan thwarts his son's plot]
Satan: So...
John Constantine: So.
Satan: Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
John Constantine: The sister, Isabel.
Satan: What about her?
John Constantine: Let her go home.
Satan: [sneers] You're willing to give up your life so she can go to Heaven?
[John nods. Lucifer shuts his eyes for a moment]
Satan: Fine. It's done.
[chuckles]
Satan: Time to go, John.
John Constantine: Yeah.

John Constantine: [as Midnight holds him up against a wall] Is this neutral? Bullshit! You're the only one still playing by the rules, Midnite, and while you've been imitating Switzerland people are dying. Hennessy, Beeman, they were your friends once, too, remember?
[Midnite burns him, he screams]
John Constantine: I need your help! Consider it a last request.
Midnite: You play a dangerous game.
John Constantine: [Midnite releases him, he slumps to the ground] Two hundred dollar shirt, by the way.

Angela Dodson: Well, I thought that with your background, you could at least point me in the right direction?
John Constantine: Yeah, okay. Sure.
[points to the door]

John Constantine: Officially, I was dead for two minutes... but when you cross over, time stops. Take it from me, two minutes in hell is a lifetime.

[last lines]
John Constantine: [voiceover] I guess there's a plan for all of us. I had to die - twice - just to figure that out. Like the book says, He works His work in mysterious ways. Some people like it. Some people don't.

John Constantine: A demon just attacked me right out in the open on Figueroa.
Midnite: They don't like you, John. How many have you deported back to hell?
John Constantine: Not some angry half-breed, Midnite. A full fledged demon, here on our plane.
Midnite: Clearly, I do not have to remind you that is impossible.
John Constantine: And yesterday, I saw a soldier demon tryin' to chew its way out through a little girl.
Midnite: Listen, John. Demons stay in hell, angels in heaven. The great détente of the original superpowers.

John Constantine: [about God] He always had a rotten sense of humor. And His punchlines are killers.

[preparing to use the electric chair]
Midnite: How many years since you've surfed?
John Constantine: Like riding a bike.
Midnite: No, not really.

John Constantine: So, what's new?
Beeman: Bullet shavings from the assassination attempt on the Pope... Holy-water ampoules from the River Jordan... and - oh, you'll love this... Screech beetle from Amityville.
[He hands John a matchbox. John shakes it, and a tiny squeak comes out. He gives Beeman a look]
Beeman: Yeah, it's funny to you, but to the fallen, that's like nails on a chalkboard.
John Constantine: What is it, exactly, with you and bugs?
Beeman: I just like them.
John Constantine: Yeah. Who doesn't?
[He picks up a tube]
Beeman: Yeah, easy there, hero. That's dragon's breath.
John Constantine: I thought you couldn't get it anymore.
Beeman: Yeah, well, I, uh, I know a guy who knows a guy.
[John fires a blast of fire from the tube]
Beeman: So, uh, what's the action?
John Constantine: I just pulled a soldier demon out of a little girl. Looked like it was trying to come through. Yeah, I know how it sounds.
Beeman: No, we're finger puppets to them, John, not doorways. They can work us, but, they can't come through onto our plane.
John Constantine: Check the scrolls, anyway. See if there's any precedent.
Beeman: Sure thing, John. Uh, anything else?
John Constantine: Wouldn't happen to have anything for a, uh...
Beeman: [produces a bottle of cough syrup] On the house.

Angela Dodson: Mr. Constantine, I saw you...
John Constantine: I remember.
Angela Dodson: And then I saw you at the...
John Constantine: Regular kismet.
Angela Dodson: I'd like to ask you a few questions, if that would be okay?
John Constantine: I'm not really in the talking mood right now.
Angela Dodson: Well, maybe you could just listen then?
[shows her badge]
Angela Dodson: Please?
John Constantine: Always a catch.
Angela Dodson: My sister was murdered yesterday.
John Constantine: Sorry to hear.
Angela Dodson: Thanks.

Angela Dodson: Look, I've heard your name around the precinct. I know the circles you travel in. The occult, demonology, exorcisms. Just before my sister was committed, she became deeply paranoid. She started talking about demons, angels. Now, I think someone got to her, Mr. Constantine. I think they brainwashed her into stepping off that roof. Some kind of legion or, um, or cult.
John Constantine: Sounds like a theory, detective. Good luck

John Constantine: Close your eyes.
Angela Dodson: Why?
John Constantine: Suit yourself.
[He ignites a fire, revealing a swarm of winged demons around them. They rear back from the fire, and burn up]
John Constantine: Demons stay in hell, huh? Tell them that.

John Constantine: When I was a kid, I could see things. Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see.

John Constantine: You don't walk off the roof of a building, without leaving something behind.

John Constantine: What did she do, Angela?
Angela Dodson: How should I know?
John Constantine: What did she do, Angela?
Angela Dodson: I don't know.
John Constantine: What would you do?
Angela Dodson: I don't know.
John Constantine: What would you do?
Angela Dodson: I don't know.
John Constantine: What did she do, Angela?
Angela Dodson: I don't remember.
John Constantine: You know what she did. What did she do, Angela?
Angela Dodson: I don't know!
John Constantine: You know what she did! What are you afraid of? What did she do, Angela? What did she do?
Angela Dodson: [shouting] I don't know!

Angela Dodson: John, there is no seventeenth act in Corinthians.
John Constantine: Corinthians goes to twenty one acts in the Bible in Hell.
Angela Dodson: They have bibles in Hell?
John Constantine: Paints a different view of Revelations. Says the world will not end by God's hand, but be reborn in the embrace of the damned. Though if you ask me, fire's fire.

Angela Dodson: I need to understand.
John Constantine: You don't wanna know what's out there, trust me on this.

Angela Dodson: I need to see what she saw. Please.
John Constantine: You do this, there's no turning back. You see them... They see you. Understand?
Angela Dodson: Yeah.

Angela Dodson: So why water?
John Constantine: It's a universal conduit. Lubricates the transition from one plane to another. Now, ask me if there's water in Hell.
Angela Dodson: Is there water in Hell?
John Constantine: Sit.
[she sits in the tub]
John Constantine: Normally only a portion of the body has to be suspended, but you wanted the crash course.
Angela Dodson: Yeah, I wanted the crash course.

Angela Dodson: John, I really want...
[Constantine puts a necklace on her]
John Constantine: Think of it as a bullet proof vest.

John Constantine: Jesus didn't die from being nailed to a cross. He was killed by a soldier's spear.
Angela Dodson: The Spear of Destiny. I'm a Catholic, John. I know the Crucifixion story.

John Constantine: It's not always like it is in the books.

John Constantine: Into the light, I command thee. Into the light, I command thee. Into the light, I command thee. Into the light, I command thee.

Gabriel: Your ego is astounding.
John Constantine: Gabriel. Figures. "And the wicked shall inherit the Earth".
Gabriel: You judging me now, John?
John Constantine: Betrayal, murder, genocide, call me provincial.

John Constantine: Close your eyes. And whatever happens, don't look.

John Constantine: Why me, Gabriel? It's personal, isn't it? I didn't go to church enough, I didn't pray enough, I... was five bucks short in the collection plate. Why?

[Gabriel holds Constantine helpless]
Gabriel: You're handed this precious gift, right? Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator - murderers, rapists, and molesters - all of you, you just have to repent, and God takes you into His bosom. In all the worlds in all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man. It's not fair.
[leans closer]
Gabriel: If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. I've been watching for a long time. It's only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves. And you can be so noble. So, I'll bring you pain, I'll bring you horror, so that you may rise above it. So that those of you who survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God's love.
John Constantine: Gabriel, you're insane!
Gabriel: [smiles] The road to salvation begins tonight. Right now.
[Gabriel blows, sending Constantine crashing through the door]

Gabriel: I'm simply seeking to inspire mankind to all that is intended.
John Constantine: By handing Earth over to the son of the Devil? Help me here.

John Constantine: [as the demons close in, Angela draws her pistol and chambers a shell] That's really not going to help.


"Constantine: The Saint of Last Resorts: Part 2 (#1.9)" (2015)
Manny: "Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of the devil. Ye cannot have part in the Lord's table and the table of the devils. Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than he?"
John Constantine: Oh, bloody hell.
Manny: Have you lost all hope in salvation, John? You invited a demon into your body.
John Constantine: It worked. He healed me.
Manny: Of course it worked! The First of the Fallen gives temporary power to those who believe his lies, but they become his possessions.
John Constantine: Well, I didn't see God coming down that tunnel to help me, or you.
Manny: You didn't even ask, John. Instead, you sought the help of a demon. It's all such a waste. You found the force behind the rising darkness. We could've stopped it, you and I together.
John Constantine: You think I wanted this?
Manny: You know what I think? To save yourself from hell, you acted without considering the consequences. It's not that I can't help you, John. I won't.

John Constantine: It's all right, mate. I've been carrying hell around with me my whole life. How much worse can the actual place be?
Chas Chandler: We're not there yet. What's your plan?
John Constantine: More of a... gamble. Self-exorcism.
Chas Chandler: You're kidding?
John Constantine: I wish I was. I need my bag. We need to move fast.
Chas Chandler: An exorcism for an exorcism. Let's do it.

John Constantine: Was it something I said?
Julio: They're Santa Muerte.
John Constantine: Are they now?
Julio: Feos bastardos have the run of the prison. They're sworn to avenge the death of their brothers. The ones you killed.
John Constantine: They're the least of my worries. Have you got a light?
Manny: Those things will kill you.

John Constantine: I thought you washed your hands of me.
Manny: You know, I got to admit, I never thought you'd do anything this stupid.
John Constantine: I'm John Constantine. I do stupid in spades.
Manny: And how are you feeling?
John Constantine: Like I've got a bloody marching band in my skull. Sorry I put a crimp in your grand game plan. Are you honestly telling me that none of your cloud-huggers had any clue that the Brujeria were back in business?
Manny: You know, some evil is so powerful, it can hide from heaven itself. Lamashtu wasn't working alone. The Brujeria have other operatives working close at hand. Identifying this enemy was always the first step in defeating the rising darkness.
John Constantine: Well, if this goes pear-shaped, then I guess you'll have to find yourself a new operative on the ground.
Manny: Not many like you down here, John.
John Constantine: Manny.
Manny: Yes, John.
John Constantine: I'm not ready to die.
Manny: Are you afraid of what's waiting for you?
John Constantine: No, I earned what I got coming to me. I just... I have more work to do.
Manny: Then that makes this a crucible. And for the sake of the mortal realm, I hope you find what you need.
John Constantine: What if I don't know what I need?

Julio: Hey, lunático. What is it you're looking for?
John Constantine: Purified honey wax, holy water, full-length mirror would be very useful. This isn't gonna make much sense, but I'm meaning to conduct a self-exorcism, purge a demonic entity.
Julio: Many demons in a place like this.
John Constantine: Sadly, mine's more than a rusty metaphor.

John Constantine: Bloody Santa Muerte. No honor amongst thieves, then?
Julio: That... and los asesinos paid better. Sorry, Inglés.
Julio: [leaves the room]

John Constantine: Where's Julio?
Julio: No. I had to! It's the only way to stay alive! They run this place!
John Constantine: Now I run this place!
[to other prisoners]
John Constantine: Now sod off!

John Constantine: You''ll do exactly as I tell you. Start by telling me everything you saw last night.
Julio: I only saw after it was over. The Santa Muerte were dead. You truly have a devil inside.
John Constantine: I'm just trying to keep it inside the prison. As as long as I'm in here, I can't cast it out. All it has to do is watch the clock go down.

Vicente: The Brujeria, they are not happy with you, John!
John Constantine: Identify yourself!
Vicente: I've been known as Nahash, the Trickster, and now as Vicente. And you know me as you know all earthly temptation.
Anne Marie Flynn: He's the tempter.
John Constantine: The original serpent from the Garden of Eden. So, what have the Brujeria promised you, then?
Vicente: No promises. They gave me release, so I can rain darkness down on your sinful world. I came to end your life! But now I can see what a mistake that would be. In a short matter of time, you won't be my enemy... you'll be my ally.

Anne Marie Flynn: I wasn't sure it would be you coming back.
John Constantine: I'm hanging by a thread here. Where's Zed?
Anne Marie Flynn: She managed to get outside during the alarm. I talked the guards into letting me stay with your.
John Constantine: That knife was your one way out. You should've done it, honey.
Anne Marie Flynn: And what would your angel say?
John Constantine: Probably would've shaken your hand.
Chas Chandler: Could use a hand!

Anne Marie Flynn: Are you sure you can do this?
John Constantine: If there's anything I've learned in the last 48 hours, it's that this demon needs me alive.
Anne Marie Flynn: And if you're wrong?
John Constantine: Well, then, I'll go out riding the world's greatest high. With my first love at my side. There are worse ways to meet your maker, eh?

John Constantine: Well, I didn't see God coming down that tunnel to help me, or you!
Manny: You didn't even ask, John... instead, you sought the help of a demon.

John Constantine: I put you guys through the ringer on this one.I suppose if I was to offer my thanks,you wouldn't believe me, either.
Zed Martin: Probably not.
Chas Chandler: Not for a second.

John Constantine: I'm John Constantine, I do stupid in spades.


"Constantine: Danse Vaudou (#1.5)" (2014)
Jim Corrigan: Very good. Uh, I think I got badges for junior detectives back at the station. Jim Corrigan. NOLA PD homicide. And you are?
John Constantine: Here to help you, Jimmy boy.
Zed Martin: Jimmy?
John Constantine: John Constantine. This is Chas and Zed. We're investigating the occult phenomenon that happened here last night.
Jim Corrigan: Whoa. Occult investigators? Con men usually don't introduce themselves as con men, that's... Well, that's novel.
Zed Martin: "Slow is smooth, smooth is fast." And squeeze.
Jim Corrigan: Where'd you hear that?
Zed Martin: Was that your mother teaching you to shoot?
Jim Corrigan: What?
John Constantine: Don't mind her, she's, uh, psychic.

Jim Corrigan: I was on the scene when it happened. Fired a full clip into that killer, but she just kept on going. Now I'm out in the field. They think I'm crazy. Am I?
John Constantine: You're not crazy, Corrigan. Just up against a different shade of evil than the usual New Orleans street crime. That's, uh, our department. Be nice to have an ally in blue.
[hands Corrigan a business card]
Jim Corrigan: "Master of the dark arts." Wow.

Zed Martin: Where's Chas staying?
John Constantine: He prefers chain hotels. He's racking up the points.

Zed Martin: Two rooms?
John Constantine: Oh, I'm flattered, luv, but we really ought to keep this professional, yeah?
Zed Martin: Yeah. Does that mean you do respect me?
John Constantine: I respect everyone I sleep with. But I usually like to get know something about them first, if you know what I mean.
Zed Martin: Hmm. If you want to know something about me, just ask.

Jim Corrigan: Misaki Ross.
John Constantine: Ooh. Wouldn't kick her out of bed.
Jim Corrigan: She was a model. Until her face was slashed ear to ear by another model. Here's a picture of Misaki the day she came out of the hospital.
John Constantine: Lost her moneymaker.
Jim Corrigan: And her life. Took a bottle of pills in her French Quarter apartment. The other model, Tammy Fraser, she was indicted for felony assault. It was all over until...
John Constantine: Until Misaki started killing.

John Constantine: You see, Misaki died five years ago, Philip, three. They were resting in peace until...
Jim Corrigan: Whatever happened to awake 'em.
John Constantine: [claps hands] Congratulations. You're a part of the act as well.
Jim Corrigan: How do you live with it? The knowledge that all this could be... real? How?
John Constantine: It marks you. For life. But it doesn't change who you are.

Papa Midnite: You know, there are better ways to do this. I will perform a ritual tonight and ask the Loa to rest these spirits.
John Constantine: You know that old song about the hammer that thinks everything is a nail?
Papa Midnite: No.
John Constantine: You may be the grand poobah of voodoo, mate, but that's one specific, very narrow modality.
Papa Midnite: And what do you know, jackass of all trades, master of none?
John Constantine: What I know, my people is playing Whac-a-Mole with the newly risen. Misaki, Philip. Devereaux. They need to be put down at the source.

Papa Midnite: What is this spell?
John Constantine: Relictum spiritum expurgationis. We bless each corpse, bring them back to your ritual and burn them. Should release their souls from this plane.
Papa Midnite: I don't like it. It's sloppy. You're like a child with your father's spell book.
John Constantine: The only magic my old man ever did was making a pint disappear.

John Constantine: Bodies are barely bloody singed.
Papa Midnite: This is your fault. Salting and burning the bodies does no good without the cooperation of the Loa.
John Constantine: Whoa, whoa, whoa... my part of the spell went perfect, mate. You're the one that was jilted by your big bad bloody voodoo gods.
Papa Midnite: It's your lack of respect that keeps them away. The Danse Vaudou is about letting go of your ego and allowing a more powerful force to enter you.
John Constantine: Yeah, well, I'm an exorcist, mate. I spent half my life kicking demons out. Why would I want to invite one in?
Papa Midnite: You are a magpie of magic. A thief of tradition. You steal from other people's cultures and beliefs to suit your own purposes.
John Constantine: Oh, yeah? Well, whatever works, eh?
Papa Midnite: It worked wonders on that little girl you sent to hell.
John Constantine: Well, at least it wasn't my own bloody sister.

John Constantine: We tried a spell to put your ghosts down, but, unfortunately, it didn't work. You see, Midnite didn't raise those spirits. Not really.You three did.
Bridget Carlberg: How?
Papa Midnite: All three of you, you keep the dead alive because you can't forgive yourselves.
John Constantine: Guilt is a very powerful emotion. There's a lot of energy in that pain.

Papa Midnite: Our truce is over at the bottom of that glass, so sip cautiously.
John Constantine: Mm. A rich man's scotch. It always comes with an aftertaste.
Papa Midnite: That sour taste is in your mouth, street wizard, because the old gods don't honor you. Your magic isn't strong enough to raise the dead.
John Constantine: Oh, the dead are better left buried, mate.
Papa Midnite: Is that so?
John Constantine: Mm-hmm.
Papa Midnite: Even if I offered you a chance to talk to your mother?
John Constantine: Huh. That's not what you owe me, is it? I'd like to get on your hotline to hell, find out about this rising darkness. The rule book's been thrown out. I want to know what I'm dealing with.

Papa Midnite: He's killing her, draining her energy. I can feel it.
John Constantine: Marriage can be hard, eh?


"Constantine: Non Est Asylum (#1.1)" (2014)
Manny: You can call me Manny. I was asked to watch over you.
John Constantine: "Watch over"? No offense, squire, I'm not in the habit of slumming it with angels. You'll murder my reputation.
Manny: So will a mental hospital.
John Constantine: Yeah, but I checked out. I'm all better. You hear that? I'm okay! So flap off.

Liv Aberdine: This is insane! You can survive an apocalypse down here.
John Constantine: Yeah, or start one.

John Constantine: It feels like that you want me to find out some information for you.
Manny: I do.
John Constantine: Why?
Manny: If you figure out what we're up against, I will use that knowledge to save lives.
John Constantine: Then what about my life, eh? You and yours damned me to hell. So... why should I risk my last days on earth?
Manny: Why, indeed. You're a sideshow attraction. A peddler of shabby magic.
John Constantine: Hang on a minute, now, sunshine.
Manny: Your decisions are questionable at best, and without conscience. Why should you risk what time you have left? Because you *are* damned to hell. At least for the moment, anyway.
John Constantine: Are you saying that it's not too late for me to save my soul?

Dr. Roger Huntoon: Before you checked yourself in here three months ago, you were working as an exorcist, demonologist and master of the dark arts.
John Constantine: It says master, does it? I should really change that to petty dabbler. I hate to put on airs.

Dr. Roger Huntoon: There are no demons.
John Constantine: [Standing, slamming his hands on the desk and shouting] So, you keep telling me!
[Quieter now]
John Constantine: Now make me *believe*.

John Constantine: I promise you. I'm not the one that's haunting you.
Liv Aberdine: What are you talking about? Who's haunting me?
John Constantine: It's probably more of a what, or possibly an it.

John Constantine: [to the entity that flew over him in the collapsed pit in the parking lot] Whoever you are, I'm a nasty piece of work! Ask anybody.

John Constantine: I walk my path alone because, let's be honest... Who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?

John Constantine: My name is John Constantine.
John Constantine: I'm the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and arrogance.
John Constantine: I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bollocks and spit on them when they're down, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack.
John Constantine: I walk my path alone... because, let's be honest... who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?

Psychiatrist: That's right before you checked yourself in her 3 months ago, you were working as an exorcist, demonologist and master of the dark arts?
[Looks over glasses suspiciously]
John Constantine: That says master does it. I should really change that to petty dabbler, I hate to put on airs.

John Constantine: My name is John Constantine. I'm the one who steps from the shadows all trench coat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bollocks and spit on them when the're down. Leaving only a nod and a wink and a wise crack. I walk my path alone, because let's be honest... who'd be crazy enough to walk it with me.


"Constantine: The Devil's Vinyl (#1.3)" (2014)
John Constantine: Papa Midnite. I didn't take you for a fan of religious broadcasting. Unless there's a Voodoo Channel I'm missing from my basic cable package.
Papa Midnite: On the contrary, there's a lot these learned men can teach me.

Manny: What happened? What happened to the John Constantine with the cojones to tell an angel to go to hell?
John Constantine: Cut me loose and I'll show you, you celestial wank.

John Constantine: Nice shooting.
Papa Midnite: Eh, Ace of Winchester. Never misses. Forged by a mystic in the Old West.
John Constantine: I bet you got a whole war chest of toys like that, haven't you?
Papa Midnite: Yes. And soon one more.

Ian Fell: When you said "eat the contract", you weren't kidding.
John Constantine: Where do you think the saying comes from? It's old as the Aramaic on that rune.

John Constantine: She's a regular psychic smorgasbord, this one. Picks up impressions from tactile stimuli. Which I'm guessing is kind of a buzzkill in the sack.

Zed Martin: What are you doing?
John Constantine: I'm breaking into the mansion.
Zed Martin: Isn't that illegal?
John Constantine: Almost everything I do is, luv.

John Constantine: We all negotiate deals with forces bigger than us. But who are we truly negotiating with? The divine? Well, it's only natural. Prayer is one big negotiation with a higher power. But in times of true crisis, we'll make a pact with whatever forces it takes. And pay whatever price.

Zed Martin: Follow me.
Chas Chandler: I think we should do as she says.
John Constantine: Alright but we don't have to just jump when she says it
[waits 3 seconds]
John Constantine: ok thats long enough, lets go.

John Constantine: Give me some juice Johnny.
[Listening to Sex Pistols]


Justice League Dark (2017) (V)
John Constantine: I expect the worst, so I prepare for the worst, and when the worst happens, I'm ready. But my outlook doesn't alter the reality of the world.

John Constantine: Bollocks! In what bloody plane of existence does four of a kind lose?

John Constantine: Point is, even deities can get it wrong. It's how we got the appendix, Neanderthals and Reality TV.

John Constantine: Jason's not the murdery type. He's chock full of honor, loyalty, and rubbish of that sort.

John Constantine: [to Destiny] Is that a sword in your chest, or are you just glad to see me?

[last lines]
John Constantine: [as Black Orchid hands Constantine and Zatanna a pint of brew] Now, that's what I call making yourself useful, love.

Batman: The League had a run-in with Faust, but his location isn't in our database.
John Constantine: Yeah, well, wizards don't make a habit of signing up for credits cards or social media.


"Constantine: Angels and Ministers of Grace (#1.12)" (2015)
Manny: John, this is all... it's...
John Constantine: Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're bloody squeamish.
Manny: I've seen death before, but... that smell...
[vomits]
John Constantine: Oh, yeah, that's great, go ahead. Just contaminate the crime scene.

Chas Chandler: What's the plan?
John Constantine: The pieces of the Black Diamond are basically calcified evil. All I know is that a human being isn't supposed to touch it, because... well, that's what I want to find out. Why? What happens?
Chas Chandler: You need a guinea pig.
John Constantine: I prefer the term "test subject." And, uh, only if you're game.
Chas Chandler: Well, I've already been stabbed once today. What do I do?
John Constantine: All you have to do, mate, is, uh... you hold the diamond.

John Constantine: Are you wearing perfume?
Manny: What?
John Constantine: [laughs] You see that? You see that what you're feeling there, that's, that's embarrassment. It's socialized, not innate. And trust me, it's not worth it.
Manny: Look. I feel... guilty.
John Constantine: Oh, you feel guilty.
Manny: The man's body had all these feelings, and I used a woman to extinguish them.
John Constantine: You mean you made two poor sods feel pleasure. Momentary relief from the, uh, tragedy of everyday living. That doesn't sound like a sin to me, mate. But then again, you know, I wasn't around when they made those rules. Do what thou wilt.
Manny: It's too much, John. I want out!
John Constantine: Yeah, well, your time's not done! It's out of my power, and you're so fond of saying. Now, I know it's hard. All those chemicals swirling around. Your heart aches, your head hurts, make it hard to concentrate, doesn't it?
Manny: Yeah, I don't know how you get everything done.
John Constantine: A little bit of denial and a whole lot of gin. Oh, did you get those files or were you, uh, too busy playing doctor?

John Constantine: I want to tell you something about me that nobody knows. I wake up every morning, and for the first five minutes of the day, I imagine that everyone I care about is dead. I lie there, and... I meditate on that. So that when it inevitably happens, then, uh... it lessens the blow.
Zed Martin: Then what do you do?
John Constantine: I spark a ciggy and fry and egg.
Zed Martin: [laughs softly] So are you telling me I'm on that list now?
Manny: Why don't you just enjoy your time with them, John?
John Constantine: Ah... You're up to your old tricks again. Manny's here.
Zed Martin: I know.
John Constantine: You can see him?
Manny: You're... not having the surgery?
Zed Martin: John taught me that magic has its cost. If that cost is pain, I'll take it.
Manny: That's a brave decision.
John Constantine: Ooh, compliments as well. You have changed, angel.
Zed Martin: You never answered my question about my visions. Where do they come from?
Manny: I'm here, aren't I?
John Constantine: Well, now he's your problem as well. Guess I'll just leave you two to the Almighty.


"Constantine: Waiting for the Man (#1.13)" (2015)
John Constantine: Now, what is really going on, Zed? What are you hiding?
Zed Martin: I saw Jim dead. In my vision.

John Constantine: You finally did it. You traded your last thread of honor for a lousy, bloody bounty.
Papa Midnite: Your next words will be your last, Constantine. Choose them wisely.
John Constantine: There's a girl out there with a depraved killer. I'm her only chance of rescue. Can any bounty be worth that stain on your soul?
Papa Midnite: I gave up on my soul a long time ago. I'm sorry for the girl, but yes, the bounty is worth it. Your sacrifice will free my sister's soul from eternal damnation. A life for a life.
John Constantine: No one has that kind of power. Except the Brujeria.
Papa Midnite: It seems that you angered them, John. Not your smartest move.
John Constantine: Apparently not.
Papa Midnite: If not me, someone else would've collected. Who would dare deny them?
John Constantine: I don't suppose, uh... I can tempt you with a counter...
[Papa shoots at John's head only to notice he's shot the corpse of a dead guard in the head; John hits him from behind]
John Constantine: You're not the only one who can reanimated a corpse. I just added a glamour spell. Nifty, eh?
Papa Midnite: You better kill me, Constantine.
John Constantine: Oh, shut it.
[John hits Papa in the face with the shotgun]

John Constantine: Tell me. What would happen after a man like this, after everything he's done, murdered all those children, what would happen if he were to try and run away?
Jim Corrigan: He ain't no demon, he ain't no ghost. He's a man.
John Constantine: A man? Is he, Jim?

John Constantine: [urinating] Be an angel. Come over here and hold it for me, will you? You know, you're like a blister. You only turn up when the hard work's done.
Manny: I've been around.
John Constantine: You spent time with Zed today, didn't you? Oh, I feel betrayed. I didn't realize we were seeing other people now.
Manny: Oh. Come on, John. You and I both know she is not other people.
John Constantine: You're right. Seems we're not the only ones who think that.
Manny: Jim Corrigan. You're jealous.
John Constantine: You know, I've learned to handle it when people around me die. I've had plenty of practice. Let's just hope she's strong enough.
Manny: That's not what's really troubling you though, is it?
John Constantine: I stare into the face evil every bloody day. It usually manifests itself as a demon, a malevolent spirit, a bloody zombie, but now...
Manny: John, you've encountered human evil before.
John Constantine: I have, but this is something else entirely. We now know what happens when the rising darkness meets the worst of humanity. There's not an evil in any realm more bloody dangerous than that.
Manny: This thing that we set out to do, you and I, it's working. We can win this war. Trust me.
John Constantine: Huh. Of course we can. You know me. I don't play if I can't win. All I'm worried about is how to spend the rest of my days after I've driven every last bastard demon back to where it belongs.


"Constantine: Rage of Caliban (#1.6)" (2014)
John Constantine: You know, I've never punched an angel, but you are begging for it, mate.
Manny: I could announce my arrival with trumpets. Used to have a tight horn section back in the day.
John Constantine: Mm, I'm sure you did.

John Constantine: I'm cursed when it comes to kids. Hmm. Probably on the account that I was such a wretched little bastard myself.
Manny: Wow. You really should get therapy for that.
John Constantine: Piss off. You made it perfectly clear you're not allowed to help me.
Manny: I said the exact opposite. What, did the shock therapy destroy your hearing?
John Constantine: All right, then. Go and warn Mommy and Daddy about their little demon seed, send it back to Hell, oh, and pick us up a gin and tonic, eh?
Manny: Guidance, John. I can offer you guidance.
John Constantine: Oh, thank you very much. I've made it through my life without any help from you.
Manny: You sure about that? How do you know I wasn't by your side when your father burned you with his cigarette? Or stayed you from suicide when your sister left you alone with him?
John Constantine: That's enough of that from you.
Manny: You didn't have it easy, John. If you want to save a child, just remember what it was like to be one.
John Constantine: Well, aren't you a regular little clever clock?

John Constantine: I'm breaking in you stand watch.
[Starts for the back of the house]
John Constantine: If I need you I shall give a little whistle that suddenly chokes into silence.

Chas Chandler: Wow, what does this do?
[Pulling a sword from the book shelves]
John Constantine: Put that down, that can't help us.
Chas Chandler: That's not what I asked. I asked what it does, but your too self absorbed to hear me like always. And Renee, she's gone. Im afraid I wasn't enough to keep her around. Can't bring myself to tell you about it though not that you'd hear me...
John Constantine: [Cutting Chas off] This is the Sword of Knight. Compels the holder to speak the truth...
Chas Chandler: O.
John Constantine: There anything you... want to talk about or...
Chas Chandler: No, no.


"Arrow: Haunted (#4.5)" (2015)
John Constantine: You know, if I knew you were surrounded by so many pretty girls, Oliver, I would have stopped by sooner.
John Diggle: Where did Oliver find this guy, The Luxor?

John Constantine: You know, the hair on the back of my neck has been standing up since the moment I got into town.
Oliver Queen: That is probably our current problem - Damien Dhark. Ohh, you've heard of him.
John Constantine: You watch yourself on that one, mate. He'll make what you saw in the other realm look like a bloody gnat.
Oliver Queen: Any helpful advice?
John Constantine: Yeah. Leave town. While you still can.

Oliver Queen: I need you to punch me in the face.
John Constantine: Right. My, uh, escape attempt left a bruise, right? All right. I must warn you, I've got a hell of a right hook.


"Constantine: A Feast of Friends (#1.4)" (2014)
John Constantine: Zed? Gary? What'd I tell you two about keeping your hands to yourselves?
Zed Martin: You're not as funny as you think.

John Constantine: You know what I always say. Everyone has the capacity to change.
Gary Lester: I've never heard you say that.
John Constantine: Exactly
[Wicked smile]


"Constantine: The Darkness Beneath (#1.2)" (2014)
John Constantine: I suppose it could be liberating, to take a leap of faith... To shrug off the burden of proof, for the promise of hope. It takes trust to turn darkness to light. And those who trust, risk putting their faith in the wrong hands. For there are those who pray for you... and there are those who prey on you. And no matter how careful you are, sometimes you just can't tell the difference.

John Constantine: It takes trust to turn darkness to light. And those who trust risk putting there faith in the wrong hands. For there are those who pray for you. And those who prey on you. And no matter how careful you are... Sometimes... You just can't tell the difference.


"Constantine: Quid Pro Quo (#1.10)" (2015)
Zed Martin: What kind of medium works at an army surplus store?
John Constantine: A paranoid one.


"Constantine: The Saint of Last Resorts (#1.8)" (2014)
John Constantine: Anne Marie. Are you all right?
Anne Marie Flynn: Would I be coming to you if I was all right?