Tom Anderson
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Quotes for
Tom Anderson (Character)
from "Beavis and Butt-Head" (1993)

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Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996)
Tom Anderson: Boy, I never seen two kids do so much damned whacking.

Tom Anderson: Boy, I tell you what, it really makes ya proud. I could stay in here all day.
FBI Agent: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Marcie Anderson: They're here to look at the TV, Tom.
Tom Anderson: What? The TV ain't broken.
Beavis: Uh, yeah it is.

Tom Anderson: What in the hell is that damn noise?
[goes inside his camper and sees Beavis]
Tom Anderson: What?
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
Tom Anderson: [throws Beavis out of camper] And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you.

Tom Anderson: [Anderson drives by] Something wrong, officer?
ATF Agent: [holds up picture of B&B] Sir, we're looking for these two fugitives.
Tom Anderson: Well, I'll be danged. That's them two kids that have been whacking in my camper.
ATF Agent: You saw these two?
Tom Anderson: I sure did. Boy, I've never seen two kids do so much damned whacking.
ATF Agent: [on walkietalkie] This is post 9, I have positive ID.
Tom Anderson: Boy, they're just like a couple of little old spidermonkeys, I tell ya.
ATF Agent: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you and your wife to step out of the vehicle.
Tom Anderson: Well, now, wait a minute, me and the Mrs. here are on our way to Washington DC.
ATF Agent: [points gun at Anderson] Now!


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Lawn & Garden (#2.12)" (1993)
Tom Anderson: What are you all doing? Choking your chicken? Come on let's get to pruning.


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Burger World (#2.13)" (1993)
[At Burger World]
Tom Anderson: Say, you boys look kinda familiar. Aren't you them kids that spray-painted my dog last week?
Butt-head: That was... uh, other kids.
Beavis: Yeah. Heh heh.
Tom Anderson: All right. Well, anyway, large fries, pie, large coffee. NOW. You got that, bubba?
Butt-head: Uh...
Tom Anderson: I didn't order an "uh"! I ordered large fries, pie, large coffee. Now, get 'em out of the fryer, and cough 'em up!


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Mr. Anderson's Balls (#4.24)" (1994)
Tom Anderson: Wait a minute. These balls look kinda familiar.
Butt-Head: Uh, many balls look the same, sir.
Beavis: Yeah, I have two that are identical.


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Screamers (#5.31)" (1995)
Tom Anderson: Hello police. This is Tom Anderson. I just had two hoodlums on my doorstep and started screaming like crazy. Hell I don't know if they're armed.


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Home Improvement (#2.3)" (1993)
[Describing Beavis and Butt-head to the police]
Tom Anderson: One of them calls himself "Butthole". And the other one's name is Joe, I think.
Cop: What do they look like, sir?
Tom Anderson: I believe they're Oriental.


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Good Credit (#2.15)" (1993)
Tom Anderson: All the old boys are gonna be here this year. Dick, Peter, Rod, Johnson... why, I even heard a rumor that old John Thomas might show up this time.


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Bungholio: Lord of the Harvest (#6.1)" (1995)
Tom Anderson: [Beavis & Butt-head are trick-or-treating at Mr. Anderson's door] What the hell are you supposed to be?
Butt-head: Uhhh, I'm a dumb ass
[mocks his own laugh]
Butt-head: Uh huh huh huh huh.


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Washing the Dog (#2.11)" (1993)
Tom Anderson: Alls I'm saying is that you need to get up off your butts and work harder.
Butt-head: Hey, it was free, ass-wipe!
Tom Anderson: That does it. Get the hell off my property and don't ever come back!
Butt-head: Uh, we have just one more question.
Tom Anderson: Well, get out!
Butt-head: Uh, can we be in your will?
[Anderson slams the door]


"Beavis and Butt-Head: Beavis and Butt-Head Do Christmas (#6.7)" (1995)
Beavis: At least I'm not some old fat dude.
Tom Anderson (Ghost of Christmas Past): At least I'm trying to help you. You ain't never helped nobody.
Beavis: Yeah, well I'd like to help you get the hell outta here. Heh heh.
Tom Anderson (Ghost of Christmas Past): Boy I tell you what, you can lead a jackass to water but you can't make him drink.
[Exits]