Inspector Uhl
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Quotes for
Inspector Uhl (Character)
from The Illusionist (2006)

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The Illusionist (2006)
Chief Inspector Uhl: Promise me you won't do it again.
Eisenheim: I promise you you'll enjoy this next show.

Crown Prince Leopold: You're late.
Chief Inspector Uhl: My apologies, your Highness. I was attending to loose ends of the case.
Crown Prince Leopold: Are there still loose ends?
Chief Inspector Uhl: Very few.
Crown Prince Leopold: Did he do it again?
[Uhl nods]
Crown Prince Leopold: How does he do it?
Chief Inspector Uhl: I'm afraid I still don't know.
Crown Prince Leopold: Did you ask him?
Chief Inspector Uhl: He's not talking at this point.
Crown Prince Leopold: Well, I'm sure you have methods for that kind of thing. I want you to put an end to it. Surely you have something on him. Something from his past?

Chief Inspector Uhl: In the name of his Imperial Majesty in the city of Vienna, I hereby arrest Edward Abramovich, also known as Eisenheim The Illusionist, on charges of disturbing public order, charlatanism and threats against the empire.

Chief Inspector Uhl: As a boy, I'm told, he had a chance encounter with a travelling magician. One version of the story was that the man himself vanished... along with the tree. People began to think he had some sort of special power... or at least that he was a bit different. And then he met her.

Chief Inspector Uhl: [pacing] Eisenheim, I don't want to arrest you. I'm a cynical man, God knows... but if your manifestations are somehow real... then even I'm willing to admit, you're a very special person. And if it's a trick, then it's equally impressive. Either way, you have a gift. So don't make me put you in jail!

Crown Prince Leopold: What do you want?
Chief Inspector Uhl: Nothing.
Crown Prince Leopold: Then you shall get nothing.

Eisenheim: [Angrily] Are you completely corrupt?
Chief Inspector Uhl: No, not completely, which is why I'll advise you not to accuse anyone.

Chief Inspector Uhl: You don't know that.
Eisenheim: No. But you do.

Crown Prince Leopold: He has tricked you, it is all an illusion!
Chief Inspector Uhl: Perhaps there is truth in this illusion.

Chief Inspector Uhl: Then why are you doing this?
Eisenheim: To be with her.

Crown Prince Leopold: How do I look?
Chief Inspector Uhl: Ordinary, sir. Very ordinary.

Chief Inspector Uhl: As you know... we some times follow Duchess Von Teschen for her protection... Yesterday she was seen in the company of another man...
Crown Prince Leopold: What man?
Chief Inspector Uhl: Eisenheim, the illusionist.
Crown Prince Leopold: What were they doing?
Chief Inspector Uhl: Well they were meeting and uh...
Crown Prince Leopold: Touching? Kissing?... Fornicating?

Chief Inspector Uhl: As a boy, I'm told, he had a chance encounter with a traveling magician.
Traveling Magician: Boy!
Chief Inspector Uhl: One version of the story was that the man himself then vanished. Along with the tree! Who knows what actually happened.

Chief Inspector Uhl: You know, I have seen things like this before... but never one like that.

Crown Prince Leopold: Has he tricked you? Is that it?
Chief Inspector Uhl: No, Your Highness.
Crown Prince Leopold: Then why are you failing me? I thought I could trust you. I thought you were a man I could bring with me when I took the throne. Am I wrong about you?
Chief Inspector Uhl: No. You're not wrong, Your Highness. No.
Crown Prince Leopold: [shouting and gesticulating] I need men who can complete the tasks assigned to them!
Crown Prince Leopold: [Now calmly and quietly] Instead I am surrounded by fools. In the end I must do everything myself. I can see this case will be no different.