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Quotes for
Max (Character)
from Notting Hill (1999)

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Notting Hill (1999)
[who will get the last brownie?]
Anna Scott: Wait, what about me?
Max: Sorry, you think *you* deserve the brownie?
Anna Scott: Well a shot at it at least huh?
William: Well, you'll have to fight me for it, this is a very good brownie.
Anna Scott: I've been on a diet every day since I was nineteen, which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a series of not nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. Ah, and every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment. And it's taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this.
Honey: Really?
Anna Scott: Really. And, one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can't act and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
Max: [long pause] Nah, nice try gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone.
William: Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.

Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian.
Max: I didn't realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

Max: You haven't slept with her, have you?
William: That is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.
Max: "No comment" means "yes."
William: No it doesn't.
Max: Do you ever masturbate?
William: DEFINITELY no comment.
Max: You see? It means "yes."

Max: Let's face facts, this was always a no-win situation. Anna's a goddess, you know what happens to mortals who get involved with gods.
William: Buggered, is it?
Max: Every time.

Bella: Which way are you going?
Max: Down Kensington Church Street, then Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner.
Bella: No, crazy, crazy. Go along Bayswater.
Honey: That's right. Then Park Lane.
Bernie: No, straight down to the Cromwell Road, then left.
Max: [they continue arguing about the best routes to the Ritz, Max finally has enough and screeches to a halt] Stop right there! I will decide the route. All right?
William: Sorry Max.
Honey: Sorry Max.
Max: James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.

William: Max, this is Anna.
Max: [Smiles politely and shakes hands with Anna] Hello Anna
[Suddenly comes to a realisation as to whom Anna is]
Max: Scott!