Jack Horner
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Quotes for
Jack Horner (Character)
from Boogie Nights (1997)

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Boogie Nights (1997)
Floyd Gondolli: This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth.
Jack Horner: Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, which is why I will *never* make a movie on tape.

Jack Horner: Before you turn around, you've spent maybe 20, 25, 30 thousand dollars on a movie.

Jack Horner: We're about to make film history, right here... on videotape.

Jack Horner: He's my 17-year-old piece of gold.

Jack Horner: I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.

Eddie Adams: Jack, I was thinking about my name, y'know?
Jack Horner: Yeah?
Eddie Adams: I was wondering if you had any ideas.
Jack Horner: I've got a few, but you tell me.
Eddie Adams: Well, my idea was, y'know, I want a name, I want it so it can cut glass, y'know, razor sharp.
Jack Horner: Tell me.
Eddie Adams: When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so powerful... It says, "Dirk Diggler."

Jack Horner: If it looks like shit, and it sounds like shit, than it must be shit.

Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner: Those are some great names.

[the Colonel James is in jail after being arrested for cocaine possession and attempted statutory rape]
Colonel James: They found something else.
Jack Horner: What?
Colonel James: Well... it's just... they're so cute when they're so young like that...
Jack Horner: Ah, Jesus...

Jack Horner: Ah, where are you going?
Becky Barnett: I gotta go wash my vagina.
Jack Horner: How long you gonna be?
Becky Barnett: Five minutes. You want it clean, don't you?

Jack Horner: Don't just ram it in there like that, this is not a hole in the wall pal, it's Rollergirl.

Dirk: [standing in the kitchen at work with Jack] So, you want five or ten?
Jack Horner: What?
Dirk: Well, if you just wanna see me jack off, it's ten. But if you just wanna look at it, it's only five.

Jack Horner: The story sucks them in.

Jack Horner: You know this is the film I want them to remember me by.

Little Bill: [while shooting a scene, Dirk ejaculated inside Amber] We missed the cum shot. He came inside her. Maybe we could go to stock footage, or...
Jack Horner: Are you crazy? It won't match!
Dirk: Jack? I can do it again if you need a closeup.

Jack Horner: I don't want it loud, I want it mellow. Mellow!