Don Diego de la Vega
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Quotes for
Don Diego de la Vega (Character)
from "Zorro" (1957)

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Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)
[after spraining his ankle]
Don Diego: My father would be very disappointed in me. To have come all this way and miss my destiny by... a foot.

Florinda: Why didn't I marry you instead of Esteban?
Don Diego: Probably because he asked you and I did not.

Don Diego: Los Angeles, California. The birthplace of... me.

Charlotte Taylor Wilson: I'm Charlotte Taylor Wilson. I'm with the People's Independence Committee.
Don Diego: Don Diego Vega. I'm with the greedy bloodsuckers.

Charlotte Taylor Wilson: You don't really believe the people are happy!
Don Diego: All I know is the soldiers are quite happy shooting the people who say the people are not happy.

[Diego is about to be shot]
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: You're the bravest man I've ever met.
Don Diego: I'm very impressed with myself, too.

Ramon Vega: Two bits, four bits, six bits, a peso. All for Zorro, stand up and say so!

Don Diego: He is a mute.
Esteban: Bueno! Perhaps he can give lessons to my wife.

[last lines]
Don Diego Vega: If I give my land to the people, where are we going to live?
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: Boston!
Don Diego Vega: Boston?
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: Yes! It is the only civilized city. They have the best art, the best music...
Don Diego Vega: You have to be kidding me! I was in Boston for a week, and I never heard a decent Mariachi playing.

Florinda: [regarding Esteban] Do you know he only makes love to me 12 times a year?
Don Diego: Well, once a month is not so bad.
Florinda: No, he makes love to me 12 times in one night and then, zip, nothing!
Don Diego: Tell me, on that one night, does he eat anything special? Oysters? Raw eggs?
Florinda: Garlic. A lot of garlic.

Esteban: Say something like a sissy girl.
Don Diego: Something like a sissy girl...
Esteban: No... you know. Swing... your... hips.
[puts hands on hips]
Esteban: Make them sway and flap your wings.

Don Diego: What I would give to have one night in your bootsies.
Ramon Vega: In my Bootsies?

Don Diego: Bravo, my brother. You've really proven yourself tonight. Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind about staying?
Bunny Wigglesworth: I'm afraid not. In two days from now, my ship sails for England. But tell Esteban that if he wants to keep in touch with me, tell him to write to 'Wiggy' of the Royal Navy based in Portsmouth. But only if he's serious.

Don Diego: [teasing Charlotte Taylor Wilson] Do you think you are helping the pipple by telling them they have an occent when they do not have an occent?

Ramon Vega: There is e-somethin' wrong wid joo bowels
[vowels]
Ramon Vega: .
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: My what?
Ramon Vega: Joo bowels. Joo a's, joo e's joo i's, o's, u's.

[the landowners meet to elect a new Alcade. Each introduces himself to the others,]
Don Diego: Don Diego from San Fernando.
Don Francisco: Don Francisco from San Jose.
Don Fernando from San Diego: Don Fernando from San Diego.
Don Jose: Don Jose from San Bernardino.
Luis Obispo: Luis Obispo from Bakersfield.

Ramon Vega: I say, I'd like my little soldier doll, again.
Don Diego: You'd like what?
Ramon Vega: Oh, come come, you remember the doll perfectly well. Blue button eyes, tall hat? We called him, Colonel Puh-Pah.
Don Diego: Colonel Puh-Pah? I know you?
Ramon Vega: Know me? Sink me! We we're once womb-mates.
Don Diego: Womb-mates? Ramon? Ramon! Ramon, my brother's back! Ramon, I can't believe it. Ramon!
Ramon Vega: Yes, I'd rather liked that, womb-mates. Yes yes, ha ha ha ha ha.
Don Diego: After twenty years, I can't believe it! Ramon!
Ramon Vega: Well, I was Ramon, twenty years ago, when father decided it wasn't quite masculine enough, so he shipped me off to sea in a British frigate. They say the navy makes men. Well, I'm living proof they made me.
Don Diego: Here, Paco, take the horse from my brother, pronto. You says you were Ramon? You no longer Ramon Viega, Ramon?
Ramon Vega: No no, I've dishanded that Latin tradition. I'm Bunny Wigglesworth, now.
Don Diego: I can't believe it, my brother's just so different.
Ramon Vega: Yeah, well your still the same, aren't you? Still tan, bland, and, uh?
Don Diego: Romantic, huh?
Ramon Vega: No no, I was about to say, randy. How did you hurt your foot then? Falling off a tavern maid?
Don Diego: No, I broke it fighting against tyrannies and injustices, and for the trodden down peoples, and the little babies, and the...
Ramon Vega: Well, I'm sure it's all quite an amusing little story, but I ought to freshen up and say 'Hi-ho' to the Old Gent! Tell me, is he still as loud as ever?
Don Diego: No, the last month he's been very... quiet...


The Mask of Zorro (1998)
Don Diego de la Vega: You have passion, Alejandro, and your skill is growing. But to enter Montero's world, I must give you something which is completely beyond your reach.
Alejandro Murrieta: Ah, yes? And what is that?
Don Diego de la Vega: Charm.

Alejandro Murrieta: I miss my brother, sir.
Don Diego de la Vega: Your brother is dead. We lose the ones we love; we cannot change it. Put it aside.
Alejandro Murrieta: How? How can I do what is needed, when all I feel is... hate.
Don Diego de la Vega: You hide it
[Holds up black mask]
Don Diego de la Vega: with this.

Don Diego de la Vega: [after beating Alejandro in a training session] Lesson number one: never attack in anger. Lesson number two...
[smells Alejandro, who is very dirty]
Don Diego de la Vega: Come with me.
Alejandro Murrieta: [Don Diego de la Vega leaves; Alejandro sniffs his own underarm] What?
[later, as he washes in a pool]
Alejandro Murrieta: So what is lesson number three?
Don Diego de la Vega: To get to lesson number four.

Alejandro: I've never lost a fight.
Don Diego de la Vega: Except to a crippled old man just now.

Don Diego de la Vega: There is a saying, a very old saying: when the pupil is ready the master will appear.

Don Diego de la Vega: Do you know how to use that thing?
Alejandro Murrieta: Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.
Don Diego de la Vega: [sighs] This is going to take a lot of work.

Alejandro Murrieta: I would have killed him.
Don Diego de la Vega: No, not today. He is trained to kill. You seem trained to drink. Oh, yes, my friend, you would have fought very bravely, and died very quickly. Who then would avenge your brother?

Don Diego de la Vega: Convince Montero that you're a gentleman of stature, and he will let you into his circle.
Alejandro Murrieta: Me? A gentleman?
[pause]
Alejandro Murrieta: This is going to take a lot of work.

Don Diego de la Vega: This is called a training circle, a master's wheel. This circle will be your world, your whole life. Until I tell you otherwise, there is nothing outside of it.
Alejandro Murrieta: Capitan Love is...
Don Diego de la Vega: There is NOTHING outside of it. Captain Love does not exist until I say he exists. As your skill with the sword improves, you will progress to a smaller circle. With each new circle, your world contracts, bringing you that much closer to your adversary, that much closer to retribution.
Alejandro Murrieta: I like that part.

Don Diego de la Vega: You should not trade something like that for a mere glass of whiskey.
Alejandro Murrieta: Why not? You think I could get two?

Don Diego de la Vega: You cannot imagine, Rafael, how I have dreamed of this moment, night and day, twenty long years.
Don Rafael Montero: Really? I haven't given you a second thought.

Don Diego de la Vega: [telling a story to his baby daughter] And suddenly lightning flashed and a mighty thunder shook the wasted land, and the evil king glared at the good prince and said...
[sees Esperanza watching him]
Don Diego de la Vega: ... something very forgettable.

Alejandro Murrieta: Look at me, I look like a butterfly. This is the most stupid thing I've ever done.
Don Diego de la Vega: I doubt that.

Don Rafael Montero: I would never have let any harm come to her...
Don Diego de la Vega: She was never yours to protect.

Don Diego de la Vega: [to Elena as he lays dying] The world is a very strange place... to have found you at last - only to lose you again.
Elena: You will never lose me, Father.


The Mark of Zorro (1940)
Don Luis B. Quintero: My dear Esteban is forever thrusting at this and at that. He used to be a fencing instructor in Barcelona.
Don Diego Vega: How exhausting.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: I didn't find it so.
Don Diego Vega: Then why did you give it up?
Captain Esteban Pasquale: I had the misfortune to kill a man of influence.
Don Luis B. Quintero: A lady was involved, I believe.
Don Diego Vega: The gentleman's wife, no doubt?
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Just how did you mean that, Señor?
Don Diego Vega: I had hoped to be amusing... Have I failed?
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Somewhat. With me.

Don Diego Vega: [speaking to his father] I went directly from the ship to our old home. I met Senor Quintero and his charming wife. I found them very pleasant and agreeable.
Fray Felipe: Pleasant scorpions! Agreeable rattlesnakes!

[last lines]
Inez Quintero: Oh, Diego, when may we expect you and our dear little Lolita in Madrid?
Don Diego Vega: Not for some time I'm afraid. We're going to follow the customs of California.
Inez Quintero: What do you mean?
Don Diego Vega: Well, we're going to marry and raise fat children and watch our vineyards grow.

Fray Felipe: To think that the boy that I helped to raise, the boy that I taught to hold a firm wrist behind a true point, has turned into a puppy! Bah!
Don Diego Vega: Well,! Tsk, tsk, tsk! How vexatious!

Don Luis B. Quintero: [introducing Inez] My wife, senor.
Don Diego Vega: Your Excellency is a very fortunate man.
Don Luis B. Quintero: I'm not so sure. She thinks pesos grow on mulberry trees.

Captain Esteban Pasquale: His Excellency will never forgive me if I let you go without a word of welcome from him. I'm quite sure that you'll save me a reprimand.
Don Diego Vega: How could I refuse a man anything with a naked sword in his hand?

Don Diego Vega: [Explaining why he's late to dinner] They heated the water from my bath too early. It was positively tepid! By the time more was carried and properly scented... Life can be trying, don't you think?
Don Luis B. Quintero: Yes.
[laughs]
Lolita Quintero: [Disappointed in Diego] Oh, Maria!
Maria de Lopez: Courage, courage!
Don Luis B. Quintero: Well, shall we dine? Come, Diego.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: [to Inez] His bath was tepid? Poor Lolita! I'm afraid her married life will be the same!

Don Diego Vega: [as Esteban repeatedly stabs a piece of fruit with a knife at the dinner table] Captain, you seem to regard that fruit as an enemy.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: A rival!

Don Diego Vega: I must please ask you to change the subject. His Excellency objects to talk of throat-cutting.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Quiet, you Popinjay! I have no reason to letting you live either.
Don Diego Vega: What a pleasant coincidence. I feel exactly the same way about you Capitan.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: You wouldn't care to translate that feeling into action would you?
Don Diego Vega: I might be tempted. If I had a weapon.
Captain Esteban Pasquale: Would you.


"Zorro: Zorro Fights His Father (#1.18)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: I have no quarrel with history, but I'm disgusted at some of those who make it.

Magistrado Carlos Galindo: Diego, I hope you have now reconsidered and share your father's desire for order and justice.
Don Diego de la Vega: Justice is blind, Your Excellency, and she can be led around by anyone. With your permission.
Magistrado Carlos Galindo: You are the one who is blind, Diego. You will find nothing in your books that compares to what you will see here where history is being made.
Don Diego de la Vega: I have no quarrel with history. But I am often appalled with the people who make it.

Magistrado Carlos Galindo: The money is safe, Diego, and it will be returned to peons, but the law moves at an orderly rate.
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, digestion moves at an orderly rate. These people are hungry!

Magistrado Carlos Galindo: The money is safe, Diego, and it will be returned to peons, but the law moves at an orderly rate.
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, digestion moves at an orderly rate. These people are hungry!
Don Alejandro de la Vega: Diego!

Don Diego de la Vega: I see the committee has been quite busy since I left the meeting, father. With only seven armed men they have succeeded in capturing one unarmed boy.

Don Alejandro de la Vega: I know you're with us in principle, but I wish your feeling were stronger!
Don Diego de la Vega: I can assure you, father, my feelings could not *possibly* be stronger!

Magistrado Carlos Galindo: Sergeant Garcia, you are a disgrace to the military profession!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Yes, Your Excellency. I know.
Magistrado Carlos Galindo: In the entire Spanish empire there is only one thing that is fatter than that belly of yours! Do you know what that is, Sergeant?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: No, Excellency. What?
Magistrado Carlos Galindo: Your head!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Yes, Excellency.
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, Sergeant, I warned you to reduce.


"Zorro: Auld Acquaintance (#3.4)" (1961)
Isabella Linares: Fencing? Diego, are you out of your mind?
Don Diego de la Vega: Not yet, but I'm afraid I'm being driven there.

Don Diego de la Vega: Well, I consider myself the victor by default.
Isabella Linares: Well, you should consider yourself lucky that he left.
Don Diego de la Vega: As a matter of fact, I do. Because now I get to take you home alone.

Don Diego de la Vega: [answering the door] Well, Sergeant, come in. What a surprise.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Gracias, don Diego. Gracias. Nice day.
[clears throat]
Don Diego de la Vega: Sergeant.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Yes, don Diego.
Don Diego de la Vega: You seem to be troubled.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: No, no. No trouble, don Diego. I just happened to be passing by. I-I was out for a ride. I-it is such a nice day.
Don Diego de la Vega: Yes it is.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: The sun is hot, though.
Don Diego de la Vega: Very.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: For this time of year that is.
Don Diego de la Vega: True.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [awkward pause] Don Diego, are you Zorro?
Don Diego de la Vega: What did you ask?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Are you Zorro?
Don Diego de la Vega: Sergeant, that sun must be hotter than I think it is. Sit down. Sit down.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: But, don Diego...
Don Diego de la Vega: I'll get you some nice chilled wine and when you feel better you can tell me all about it.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Si, don Diego.

Don Diego de la Vega: You know, it's a great moment for me too. Well, I'll be able to clear my name once and for all and at the same time fulfill a secret ambition of mine.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: What ambition, don Diego?
Don Diego de la Vega: You won't laugh?
[Garcia shakes his head]
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, Sergeant, I've always wished that some day you and I could stand shoulder to shoulder in battle.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Battle, don Diego?
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, Zorro will not give up without a fight.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Oh, that is true.
Don Diego de la Vega: Ah, Sergeant, I can see it now. There he is!
[pointing behind Garcia]
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Where?
Don Diego de la Vega: He comes at us. We draw our swords!
[throws his sword across the room in the process of drawing it]
Don Diego de la Vega: [retrieving the sword] I'm sorry, Sergeant. I didn't have a good grip on it. We stand, shoulder to shoulder. En garde, Zorro!
[lunges forward piercing the back of the chair in front of him]
Don Diego de la Vega: Just a little nick, Sergeant.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Don Diego, it might be better if you were not *at* my side. Perhaps a little behind.
Don Diego de la Vega: Protecting you from a surpise attack. Excellent idea, Sergeant!
[Garcia walks a few steps away with his back to Diego who skewers the arm of the chair]
Don Diego de la Vega: [laughs] I'll pay for it, Sergeant. I just need a little room, that's all. Ha, Zorro!
[begins to wildly swing his sword around while moving about the room]
Don Alejandro de la Vega: You do not know what this means to him, Sergeant.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I know what it will mean to *me*, don Alejandro!

Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [displaying the key] No, no, no. I locked the door myself. The windows are barred. He could not possibly escape.
Ramon Castillo: Go ahead, Sergeant. Open the door. Diego de la Vega is not there. He is Zorro. We win the bet.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Money will do you no good in prison, Senor Castillo.
Marcos Estrada: No, but it will be most comforting.
Ramon Castillo: You can't send us to prison for taking our own money. And we won it fair and square.
[gesturing toward the locked door]
Ramon Castillo: Go ahead, see for yourself.
[Garcia takes the money with him and unlocks the door]
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [confidently without looking into the room] Don Diego, come out and show Senor Castillo that you are not Zorro.
[nothing happens]
Ramon Castillo: [laughs and hold out his hand] Sergeant.
[Garcia grips the money tighter]
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [pleading] Don Diego, please.
Don Diego de la Vega: [slowly exiting the room while Garcia grins] Sergeant, I may never speak to you again.
Marcos Estrada: [to Ramon] I may never speak to *you* again!
Ramon Castillo: It's a trick.
Marcos Estrada: Sure!
Ramon Castillo: It's a trick! Diego de la Vega is Zorro!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [happily] Lancers, take them away.

Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [trying to get Diego out of the way for his safety] Don Diego, have you seen my living quarters?
Don Diego de la Vega: Not recently, Sergeant.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Well, let me show them to you!
[Diego doesn't move]
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I've had one of the walls whitewashed.
Don Diego de la Vega: Oh, well, in that case.


"Zorro: Sweet Face of Danger (#1.17)" (1958)
Don Alejandro de la Vega: You may have heard that she is very beautiful.
Don Diego de la Vega: Yes. I have also heard other things.
Don Alejandro de la Vega: About a beautiful woman and wealth, people make scandals, my son. A gentleman does not listen.
Don Diego de la Vega: Very well, Father. Since it does not concern me, I will not listen.

Magdalena Montes: My aunt will watch over us as dueña. Whatever fun we might have had, we are not children now.
Don Diego de la Vega: I find that the older we get, the more watching we need.

Don Diego de la Vega: [Diego tries to kiss Magdalena. Sargent Garcia interrupts] Well, obviously we should have drowned Sargent Garcia.

Don Diego de la Vega: Sergeant, this is a dangerous place for a civilian. I better being getting home.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: This is a dangerous place for anybody. I think I better get back inside the quartel... just to give my men confidence.

Don Alejandro de la Vega: Francisco and I thought you might take her for a drive. Show her around.
Don Diego de la Vega: You and don Francisco have become quite close since he has a marriageable daughter, haven't you?

Don Diego de la Vega: One thing, father. Do not count your grandchildren yet.


"Zorro: The Postponed Wedding (#3.3)" (1961)
Don Alejandro de la Vega: Why haven't they her father's permission? Why are they sneaking off?
Don Diego de la Vega: Sounds like fun.

Constancia de la Torrie: Diego, will you tell Bernardo I'd like a horse?
Don Diego de la Vega: Why? Are you going riding?
Constancia de la Torrie: [sarcastically] No. I'm baking a cake and the recipe calls for a horse.
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, might I suggest a palamino? It would add that little extra something.

Don Alejandro de la Vega: If you can't learn to control your temper, whatever the reason...
Don Diego de la Vega: People will think you're a de la Vega.

Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: What is happening?
Don Diego de la Vega: It's a long story, Sergeant.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Does it have anything to do with Zorro attacking Senor Serrano?
Don Diego de la Vega: It's going to.

Don Diego de la Vega: This is the hour that the Sergeant usually inspects the tavern.
Miguel Serrano: Well, what time is it?
Don Diego de la Vega: I haven't the slightest idea.


The Bold Caballero (1936)
Don Diego Vega: If this be the governor, then angels have turned politicians.

Commandante Sebastian Golle: What's she want here?
Don Diego Vega: For breakfast, a priest to bury her father. For lunch, Zorro's head on a pikestaff.
Commandante Sebastian Golle: She does, eh? Thinks she can give me orders? I'll get my hands on her and govern her with a lash.
Don Diego Vega: Bravo. There's no more bracing treat than beating women. Of course, it will cost you your head.
Commandante Sebastian Golle: Oh, what?
Don Diego Vega: The queen is her aunt. And the queen hates having her nieces flogged by the soldiery.

Don Diego Vega: That horse killed a man.
Lady Isabella Palma: All the more reason for a woman to master it. Bring the beast to me.
Don Diego Vega: No, I beg of you, don't break your neck. I have important matters to discuss with you. Your marriage...
Lady Isabella Palma: Marriage? To you, I presume? If you don't mind, I'll break my neck.

Don Diego Vega: Father, the day we've prayed and planned for is at hand. Never again will the peóns be enslaved for taxes.
The Priest: Our God be praised.
Don Diego Vega: The commandante's rule is over. We have a most wise, a most lovely, and a most beautifully spoiled governor.

[the Commandante lashes his whip at Don Diego]
Don Diego Vega: Mercy! What have I done?
Commandante Sebastian Golle: Nothing. That's just to keep my hand in incase I have to lash the life out of some fool who would betray me.


The Mark of Zorro (1920)
Don Diego Vega: Fetch me a pot of honey - - and serve wine to everybody.

Don Diego Vega: I detest swords and bloodshed - but - to rid our beautiful country of a menace is a noble deed.

Sgt. Pedro Gonzales: We seek the vulture, Zorro!
Don Diego Vega: You're too fat, Gonzales. Poison the mountain tops and set your traps in the clouds - perhaps you'll have better luck.

Don Diego Vega: So many unpleasant things happen - - it is most fatiguing.

Lolita Pulido: You talk - you fight - you look like Zorro!
Don Diego Vega: And I love like Zorro...


The Mark of Zorro (1974) (TV)
Don Diego/Zorro: Why is it that the scoundrels of the world are always remembered and the well-bred men completely forgotten?
Theresa: Perhaps it's because there is nothing particularly memorable about scented bathtubs.

Theresa: [shuts door as uncle leaves, turns and sees Diego there] You?
Don Diego/Zorro: Yes.
Theresa: How... how did you get here?
Don Diego/Zorro: Well, a man can do many things if he must.
Theresa: [gasps and smiles] I must be dreaming, you are Zorro!
Don Diego/Zorro: [puts finger to lips] I'm sorry I had to decieve you tonight but to accomplish what I must I had to decieve many people.
Theresa: And I suppose you came to tell me that asking for my hand was merely part of the game?
Don Diego/Zorro: Oh no. It is the one real thing in the whole masquerade.
[they kiss]

Captain Esteban: I trust you find this room more to you're liking?
Don Diego/Zorro: Well this room is already stained in blood... a little more won't make any diffrence

Captain Esteban: I see you're dressed for a funeral
Don Diego/Zorro: On the contary... the funeral shall be yours


"Zorro: Zorro's Romance (#1.5)" (1957)
Senorita Elena Torres: Capitan Monastario has a painful duty to perform, Mother. He prefers to tell you himself.
Don Diego de la Vega: For some reason Capitan Monastario's duties are usually painful. To Californians.

Don Diego de la Vega: [smelling a tankard of wine] Never was a perfume so delicate.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Perfume is for smelling. Wine is for drinking.

Don Diego de la Vega: Thank you for the loan of the book, dona Louisa. I shall enjoy reading Plato. He had such a low regard for soldiers.


Zorro's Fighting Legion (1939)
Manuel Gonzalez: Gentlemen, this is becoming ridiculous! The next thing you know, someone will be accusing you of being Zorro.
Don Diego Vega: Why, I believe I'd be flattered!

Don Diego Vega: What Diego can't do, Zorro can!

Gov. Felipe: I propose that Kala be hanged in the public square tomorrow morning.
Manuel Gonzalez: Excellent - make an example of him!
Chief Justice Pablo: I also agree. Show the Yaquis they cannot break our laws and live and we'll have little to fear from that quarter.
Don Diego Vega: Except bloodshed and death.


"Zorro: Zorro by Proxy (#1.28)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: Ever since I got that blow on the head yesterday, I keep forgetting things.
Cpl. Reyes: That will do it. I was hit on the head once.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Oh? When was this, Corporal?
Cpl. Reyes: I forget.

Don Diego de la Vega: Do not turn around Sergeant. This is Zorro. I've released young de la Vega and permitted him to escape.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I'm glad to see you Senor Zorro, even if I cannot see you at the moment.

Don Diego de la Vega: [of Zorro] Things must be going pretty badly for him.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Oh? Why do you say that?
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, one thing I do remember, I saw him up close and he was very poorly dressed.


"Zorro: Death Stacks the Deck (#1.19)" (1958)
Don Alejandro de la Vega: He is made of good stuff, but he has never had to face responsibilities. It might help him too, Diego, if you could set him an example. And take a greater part in the affairs of the pueblo, and serve the community.
Don Diego de la Vega: A famous poet, Father, once said that they also serve who only stand and wait.
Don Alejandro de la Vega: I sent my only son away to military school, expecting they would send me back a fighter. I got a poet!

Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: And Clara, later when you finish work, then will you sit with me for a while?
Barmaid: I will not sit with you now! I will not sit with you when I am finished ! Not tomorrow or the day after! For the last time, I will not sit with you at all!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I will finish what I was saying later.
Barmaid: You have finished before you have started!
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, you're making progress, Sargeant. I remember when she would not even speak with you!

Don Diego de la Vega: Well, I do not think that you would refuse me sergent!
Garcia: No, Don Diego! Someone recently warned me to stay away from wine! But, Brandy is not wine, is it?


"Zorro: Dead Men Tell No Tales (#1.1)" (1990)
[first lines]
[Felipe enters the room where Don Diego is trying to make lunar observations with his telescope]
Don Diego de la Vega: Put out that light. What is it, Felipe? Yes, I know the hour is late. You see, there is one obstacle which has vexed astronomers down through the ages - you can only study the moon at night.

Don Diego de la Vega: Felipe, it is time for you to learn some swordsmanship.
[Diego parries Felipe's sudden thrust]
Don Diego de la Vega: Excellent... but you forgot the salute. That's very impolite.


"Zorro: Adios, Señor Magistrado (#1.26)" (1958)
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Anyway, the capture of Zorro someday will not get me back inside the cuartel tonight.
Don Diego de la Vega: True true, Sargeant. But look, since you cannot capture Zorro, why do you not imitate him?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I do not understand.
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, if you were Zorro, you would not have to walk through the gate. You could fly over the wall! Isn't that what he does?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Of course! You know, it's strange, Don Diego. Every time I talk to you, I get such wonderful ideas! I will climb over the rear wall!
[hesitates]
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I cannot climb the rear wall. I have tried.

Dr. Avila: [examining a wound to don Alejandro's leg] This should hurt.
Don Diego de la Vega: [getting up to leave] One moment please. I cannot bear to hear my father scream in pain.
Don Alejandro de la Vega: [calling after Diego] You will never see the day, young man, that you hear me scream in pain.
[the doctor probes the wound]
Don Alejandro de la Vega: Aiee!


"Zorro: The Unmasking of Zorro (#1.22)" (1958)
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I am only a soldier, and obeying the orders of my Comandante. For instance, if the Comandante told me to arrest Don Diego on the suspicion of being Zorro, I would have to do it, ridiculous as it must seem.
Don Diego de la Vega: [laughing] That would be the height of absurdity, eh?

Don Diego de la Vega: Have you ever been jealous of yourself, Bernardo?
[Bernardo gives hima quizzical look]
Don Diego de la Vega: I'm afraid this fellow Zorro has won the heart of my childhood sweetheart.


"Zorro: An Affair to Remember (#4.5)" (1992)
Don Diego de la Vega: Love fries a man's brain like a crisp tortilla.

Don Diego de la Vega: [as Zorro to Victoria] The man behind this mask is. . . The man behind this mask is afraid of only one thing in this world. That you love a hero with whom he cannot possibly compete. That if this mask were removed, you would still be in love with Zorro and not with the man of flesh and blood.


"Zorro: Bernardo Faces Death (#1.38)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: This is the closest either of us has come to death, and we did it to ourselves. There must be a moral here somewhere...

Don Diego de la Vega: [to Bernardo] This is the closet either of us have come to death, and we did it to ourselves!


"Zorro: The Eagle Leaves the Nest (#1.37)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: No man has such a mad desire for power unless he secretly knows he is weak.

Don Diego de la Vega: Must it be a dream, Sargeant? All you have to do is to reach out your arm and grab Zorro!
[Puts Garcia's hand on his arm]
Don Diego de la Vega: Like that!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: It is not so easy. I have tried! How I have tried, you just don't know! I have been pushed into wells, and fallen down flights of stairs... Once he even led me into a tar pit up to here!
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, that's just what I mean, Sargeant! You give up too easily!


"Zorro: One Special Night (#3.21)" (1992)
Victoria Escalante: The fire reminds me when my mother used to read me poems and adventure stories about love and courage. "Love has no rhyme and no reason. It strikes with a passionate fire, engulfing the hearts in flame."
Don Diego de la Vega: [finishing the quote] "And only your cool, sweet lips will quench my burning desire."
Victoria Escalante: [looking at him oddly] Diego, something happened today. Something that I've never noticed before. Today when you stood up to the King's emissary, there was something about you. . .well, you seemed different somehow.

Reynaldo, Don Diego de la Vega: I will slice you into little pieces!
Reynaldo, Don Diego de la Vega: I'm not a ham, señor.


"Zorro: Presenting Señor Zorro (#1.1)" (1957)
Don Diego de la Vega: If you cannot clothe yourself in the skin of a lion, put on that of a fox!


"Zorro: A Woman Scorned (#3.8)" (1991)
Don Diego de la Vega: You know, Sergeant, I think there's a lesson to be learned from all this. For all the allure of physical beauty, we should remember it's only skin deep.
Sergeant Jaime Mendoza: That is true, Don Diego. That's why I always say; what counts is not how a woman looks, but how a woman cooks.


"Zorro: Love Potion Number Nine (#4.3)" (1992)
Don Diego de la Vega: [disgustedly] And then he called her his little grapefruit, and she called him her peach. Between them they have the makings of a nice fruit salad. My father was right, Sergeant, it's really quite nauseating.


"Zorro: It's a Wonderful Zorro (#2.14)" (1990)
Don Diego de la Vega: Isn't it ironic? I'm trapped by this brilliant illusion I've created. I'm no longer respected by the very people I've sworn to protect. Yes, Zorro is respected. But who am I? Diego de la Vega or 'The Fox'. The phantom of the night, snatching a few fleeting moments with the woman I love. If she heard me speak today, it would have been a simple matter to conclude that Zorro and I are one and the same. But then Zorro would never catch a cold. Zorro is indestructable.


"Zorro: Agent of the Eagle (#1.20)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: It is a great thing to be of proud birth, is it not Señor?
Magistrado Carlos Galindo: It is a noble thing, Diego. One should not forget it.
Don Diego de la Vega: Oh, I agree with you most heartily. The only trouble is, all the credit goes to our ancestors. I think real pride belongs to people who can make something of themselves.


"Zorro: Slaves of the Eagle (#1.16)" (1958)
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: [re the prisoners] Those poor fellows actually think that Zorro will come and save them.
Don Diego de la Vega: So I hear.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Don Diego, do want to hear something very wicked.
Don Diego de la Vega: [looks around] Go, ahead.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: I hope he does, too!


"Zorro: Secret of the Sierra (#1.23)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: What's the matter? Are you sorry you came?
Bernardo: [nods emphatically]
Don Diego de la Vega: Where is your spirit of adventure?
Bernardo: [points at Diego]


"Zorro: Zorro Springs a Trap (#1.21)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: Just what exactly is on your mind?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: On my mind? Why nothing, nothing at all. I mean, how did you know there was?
Don Diego de la Vega: Your face. It's an open book. I can read your every thought.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: You can? What am I thinking right now?
Don Diego de la Vega: [Examines Garcia's face] Nothing.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: That's right! Don Diego, how do you do it?
Don Diego de la Vega: It's very simple. One just takes into consideration the mental capacity of the person under analysis, and draws a conclusion. Now in your case, the betting odds were 100 to 1 in my favor.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Oh, it is useless to try to hide my thoughts from you, Don Diego!


"Zorro: An Affair of Honor (#2.31)" (1959)
Pineda: I do not wish to alarm you, don Diego, but my friend Senior Avila is truly a great swordsman. He has killed many men, but he's not *paticularly* interested in killing you.
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, I'm not *particularly* interested in being killed, if there's a way to avoid it.
Pineda: There is, senior. You are rich. Senior Avila is poor. You would not even miss the few thousand pessos it would take to satisfy his honor.
[Diego and Alejandro exchange startled looks]
Don Diego de la Vega: [smiling] Can we show you to the gate, senior.
[Diego and Alejandro each grab and arm and forccably march Pineda out the door]
Don Diego de la Vega: This way.
[the de la Vegas throw Pineda physically through the gate and into the dirt]


"Zorro: The Cross of the Andes (#1.32)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: Why, Señor, injustice is everyone's business. No one can stand alone. When you injure one of us, you injure all.


"Zorro: The Word (#3.25)" (1992)
Don Diego de la Vega: Go to the cuartel with the sergeant and get help. I'll stay here in case they return.
Don Alejandro de la Vega #2: Will you act like a de la Vega for once in your life?
Don Diego de la Vega: But, Father, you don't know...
Don Alejandro de la Vega #2: Don't 'But, Father' me. Felipe in in danger of being gunned down and you can only muster the courage to say 'I'll stay here.'
Don Diego de la Vega: Father, you don't know the whole situation.
Don Alejandro de la Vega #2: I know enough. I know that my only son is... is a coward.


"Zorro: Double Trouble for Zorro (#1.11)" (1957)
Don Diego de la Vega: [to Bernardo] Get me my clothes! There is a man in there impersonating Zorro, and he's robbing the people!


"Zorro: Siege (#3.17)" (1992)
Alcalde Ignacio de Soto: [to Don Alejandro] Senor, the tactics employed by the Colonial Regimental Army were good enough for Cortez when he conquered the Indians.
Don Diego de la Vega: The problem is these aren't unarmed Indians and you aren't Cortez, are you?


"Zorro: Zorro Takes a Dare (#2.30)" (1959)
Don Cornelio Esperon: And now I propose a toast to a loyal friend who has proved himself every inch a galant soldier. Sergeant Garcia!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: There is no need to thank me, Senior Esperon.
Don Diego de la Vega: You helped save don Cornelio's life and his hacienda, Sergeant.
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Si, that is true don Diego, but it is not the entire truth.
Moneta: I agree with the Sergeant. Father, let us drink also to another who serves the king and the cause of justice. Seniores I give you el Zorro!
Don Cornelio Esperon, Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia, Don Diego de la Vega, Don Alejandro: El Zorro!
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: An excellent toast, seniorita. Oh, if Zorro were only here. But then I would have to arrest him, wouldn't I?


"Zorro: The Man with the Whip (#1.31)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: You do not want to be known as a live coward, eh?
Rodolfo Martinez: There are things worse than dying, Don Diego.
Don Diego de la Vega: But there is nothing quite so permanent, my friend.


"Zorro: Quintana Makes a Choice (#1.29)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: Tell me, who has access to the gunpowder?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: There are only four of us. Capitan Toledano, Cpl Reyes and myself.
Don Diego de la Vega: That is only three. Who is the fourth?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: That is what I do not know. He is the one who took the gunpowder.


"Zorro: An Eye for an Eye (#2.7)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: [to Señorita Theresa] You know something, you're very pretty when you're angry!
[laugh]


"Zorro: Wicked, Wicked Zorro (#3.9)" (1991)
Don Diego de la Vega: [as Zorro] Victoria, for whatever I've done, I truly apologize. It wasn't me.
Victoria Escalante: Oh, it was you all right.
Don Diego de la Vega: No, it was something deep inside me. An irrational force. Perhaps a dark side we all share. The same irrational force that seems to have Sergeant Mendoza in its grip.
Victoria Escalante: So you're free from this. . .force? This. . .um. . .dark side?
Don Diego de la Vega: Yes. Completely.
Victoria Escalante: How can you be sure?
Don Diego de la Vega: I'll let you be the judge.
[He takes her into his arms and kisses her.]


"Zorro: The New Broom (#3.1)" (1991)
Don Diego de la Vega: [as Zorro, fencing with de Soto] When I fence with Mendoza,I fence with simplicity. When I fence with a subtle swordsman such as yourself, I employ subtlety.
[Zorro then punches de Soto in the face.]
Don Diego de la Vega: Unfortunately, I don't always succeed.


"Zorro: The Eagle's Brood (#1.27)" (1958)
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: Shhh. That is a military secret!
Don Diego de la Vega: Everyone I meet is talking about it. Who is there in California that does not know this?
Sgt. Demetrio Lopez Garcia: That is just what I'm trying to tell you. It is a military secret. We do not want the soldiers to find out.


"Zorro: Zorro, Luckiest Swordsman Alive (#1.12)" (1957)
[last lines]
Don Diego de la Vega: Just one moment! Will You permit me one question? How is it possible for Martinez to have robbed the mission, when you already officially buried him?
Captain Monestario: It was Sergeant Garcia who made out that report! I will see that he is properly disciplined!
Captain Monestario: Now permit me one question! How is it possible that the most inept swordsman in all of California was able to defeat Martinez, one of the best?
Don Diego de la Vega: Well, perhaps Señor Martinez was right when he said, I am the luckiest swordsman alive!


"Zorro: Shadow of Doubt (#1.14)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: [re Zorro] You know, he must have been rather homely, always hiding his face.
Maria Crespo: [dreamily] He was the most handsome man who ever lived.
Magistrado Carlos Galindo: Oh. Then you have seen him without his mask?
Maria Crespo: Oh, no, senor. But there are somethings you just know if you're a girl.


"Zorro: The New Order (#2.6)" (1958)
Don Diego de la Vega: Joaquin Castenada! This is Zorro!
Joaquin Castenada: Zorro?
Don Diego de la Vega: Make the guard angry enough to enter your cell!


"Zorro: Amnesty for Zorro (#2.13)" (1959)
Don Alejandro: [Diego removes mask from imposter Zorro] I'm sorry my son! I hoped you would not find out!
Don Diego de la Vega: How, how did you know?
Don Alejandro: I've known for along time! A very long time!