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Quotes for
Zeke Tyler (Character)
from The Faculty (1998)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Faculty (1998)
Zeke: This is where I get my equipment.
Marybeth: You borrow it from science labs?
Zeke: I like to think of it as stealing actually.

Zeke: Answer me something, Marybeth. Why are you naked?
Marybeth: Oh. Does it bother you, Zeke, my body? I'm gettin' kinda used to it myself.

Zeke: Not today. It's too damn hot, and I got zero fucking tolerance.
Miss Burke: Eat me, you asshole! I'm the one with no tolerance, you pathetic little runt!
Student: Ouch! Come back.
Zeke: [sarcastic] What are you going to do? Are you going to call my mother?
Miss Burke: And how am I going to do that, little Zekey boy? Do you even know where she is? Europe? Sri Lanka? Japan? I wonder what remote location she went to this week... to hide from her great, big bastard mistake. I've taken your shit for TOO FUCKING LONG you dickless, drug-induced excuse for a human being!
Zeke: Whoa... woman. What are you on?
Miss Burke: "Woman"? Did you just say "woman"? I'm sick of you, little boy! And if I have to see you peddling your little "Wonder Dust" again, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be sucking my toes 'till graduation!
[exits]
Zeke: [to himself] Whoa! She got some bad shit!

Zeke: Guaranteed to jack you up.

[about Delilah]
Zeke: Is she always this much fun, man?
Stan: Sometimes she can be a real bitch.

Zeke: Casey, the only person in this school who's an alien is you, man.
Casey: Fuck you, Zeke.

Zeke: That's called a gun, man.

Zeke: Stan, take it.
Stan: No way, you're takin' it!
Casey: [laughing and obviously high] You're takin' it!
[Stan picks up gun and points it at Casey]
Stan: What the hell is wrong with him?
Zeke: Nothing's wrong with him. He's tweaking you asshole! Let him fucking tweak!
Casey: Tweak! Tweak!

Miss Burke: Zeke, you cannot conduct personal business on school property.
[Zeke sits down on his car]
Zeke: Well, Miss Burke, we have a problem because I'm sitting on my car and that's my property.
Miss Burke: Well I've had complaints from several students that you've sold them mind-altering substances. Now do you wanna talk to me about it, or take it up with Principal Drake?
Zeke: You're too tense, Miss Burke. But I've got just the thing for ya.
Miss Burke: You know, Zeke, I am the authority figure here, it's time you realized that.
Zeke: Helps relief from blockage caused by dietary stress: Chocolate flavored laxatives.
Miss Burke: You know Zeke, if you applied just 5 percent of that intellect to your studies...
Zeke: Not a chocolate lover, huh?
Miss Burke: ...you could've made up your finals last summer and you wouldn't have had to repeat your senior year.
Zeke: Not a chocolate lover, huh? How about this: Condoms. Magnum Sized. And they're cherry flavored. C'mon... they're on me.
Miss Burke: That's so rude.

Zeke: [to Stan] No pain Stan? If you come in here I'll show you some fucking pain!

[Zeke gives two students fake ID cards]
F'%# Up #1: Dude, that's not me. Doesn't even look like me
F'%# Up #2: It's 50 bucks right?
F'%# Up #1: Does that look like me?
F'%# Up#2: Uh, it's the new you.
F'%# Up #1: I don't know man. How do we even know these things are gonna work?
Zeke: Trust me man, I'm brilliant.
F'%# Up #1: Then why are you repeating your senior year?

Zeke: Yeah, my parents are dead too.
Marybeth: Really?
Zeke: Well, they are still *breathing*, but for all intents and purposes they might as well be dead.

Stokely: I'm not putting that hack drug up my nose - it's so eighties!
Zeke: Aliens are taking over the earth. Weigh it!

Zeke: [to Marybeth] Just doin' my part for the deconstruction of America.

Zeke: Hello Miss Burke!
Miss Burke: Hello sweety pie, What are you looking for?
Zeke: Ah, nothing important. So maybe you changed your mind about the chocolate laxatives?
Miss Burke: Actually I had my heart set on something cherry flavored, if you know what I mean.
Zeke: Sorry I'm all outta those but I have something else for you.
Miss Burke: Yes?
Zeke: Oh yeah.
Miss Burke: Something tasty?
Zeke: [softly] Let me hook you up.

Zeke: Here, take this.
Casey: Now Marybeth.
Zeke: Sniff it.
Casey: You're out of your fucking mind!
Zeke: I'm about to take my chances. I leave for five minutes, and when I come back everyone's a fucking alien. Now, if I have to Men In Black your ass, you're gonna fucking take it!
[Casey sniffs it hasefuly]
Casey: Happy now?

Casey: I say we go for the coach. He turned Stan. He's the one. Or do you want to wait for them to come to us?
Marybeth: Either way we're completely unarmed.
Zeke: Maybe not. I might have some more skat. In my trunk.
Casey: In your trunk? In your car? Amongst the aliens? Oh, that's convenient.
Zeke: [Holds up his car keys] You got a better idea?

Zeke: Now, you, Delilah.
Delilah: No. Her first.
Marybeth: I'm allergic.
Delilah: Yeah, and I'm Portuguese. Who cares?

Zeke: Crusoe was afraid he'd be stuck on the island with nothing but calluses.
Miss Burke: That's not correct Zeke. Isolation was his greatest fear.
Zeke: Yes, but his external existence was in no way compared to his internal agony of the loneliness he felt.
Miss Burke: That's very good.
Zeke: Like I said, calluses.

Marybeth: This is your big secret? Caffeine pills?
Zeke: [puts a rag on top of packages] You never saw that.

Zeke: [to Marybeth] So, if anyone finds us in here, just grab a hold of me and pretend we're making out. The punishment is less severe.

Zeke: You both take the drug.
Casey: Ohh... showdown!

Casey: [after being told to sniff scat] Why me first?
Zeke: It's your birthright man, just fucking take it.

Zeke: [while seeing 'alien'-Miss Burke looking for her head] Ah, fuck this, I'm outta here!