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[In a fancy restaurant
: I've been here before. Nicholas
: I took you here for your birthday. Conrad
: No, I used to buy crystal meth from the Maitre D.
: They just fuck you and they fuck you and they fuck you, and then just when you think it's all over, that's when the real fucking starts!
: This is for you. Nicholas
: You shouldn't have. Conrad
: What do you get for the man who has... everything? Nicholas
: [reading card
] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs. Conrad
: Call that number. Nicholas
: Why? Conrad
: Make your life... fun. Nicholas
: Fun. Conrad
: You know what that is... uh, you've seen other people have it.
: They won't leave me alone! I'm a goddam human piñata!
: What's that? Conrad
: [signs document
] This... is... the bill. Nicholas
: Do you want to split it? Conrad
] Oh God yes! I'll take some of that...
[shows Nicholas enormous number at bottom of receipt
: [shocked look
] Oh my God...
: I just found myself laying naked on a beach near Ibiza and all of a sudden it clicked: October 12th, Nicky's birthday. Nicholas
: October 11th. Conrad
: You can't smoke here. Conrad
: I'm with you. Nicholas
: It's illegal to smoke in restaurants in California. Conrad
: Fuck California!