Randall 'Memphis' Raines
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Quotes for
Randall 'Memphis' Raines (Character)
from Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)

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Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Memphis: I just stole fifty cars in one night! I'm a little tired, little *wired*, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!

Memphis: I am a baaaad man.

Raymond Calitri: Am I an arsehole? Do I look like an arsehole?
Memphis: Yeah.

[as Freb and Mirror Man watch Sway feeding Toby]
The Sphinx: If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of criminal life and inspired you to change your ways, then his injuries carry with it an inherent nobility, and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You say poor Toby? I say poor us.
[everyone stares in awe at Sphinx]
Tumbler: He spoke.
Atley Jackson: Yeah...
Memphis: Hey man, I thought you were from Long Beach.
[Sphinx, drinking a beer, just shrugs. Laughter]

Sara "Sway" Wayland: [after boosting Car #37: the 1971 Plymouth Hemi Barricuda - Shannon] It had to be a girl car.
Memphis: Girl car? What kind of girl drives a Hemi 'Cuda?
Sara "Sway" Wayland: I'll show you.
[Sway puts on red lipstick]
Memphis: Lipstick?
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Matches the car.
[Sway Chuckling]
Memphis: What's next? Blush? Mascara?
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Next time I'll pull out the, uh... leather, high heels and pink underwear for you.
Memphis: Leather, High Heels and...
[with Sway]
Sara "Sway" Wayland, Memphis: Pink Underwear.
[Sway laughing]
Memphis: Pink underwear works. Pink underwear works.

Memphis: The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.

[last lines]
Memphis: [Engine dies] Oh, don't do this to me.

Memphis: Without disappointment you cannot appreciate victory.
Det. Roland Castlebeck: Did Eleanor tell you that?

Memphis: For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges have been removed. You got it?
Mirror Man: It's cool, man.
Memphis: Obviously, they're on to us. He's sniffing real close. If anything tonight appears out of place, I want you to cut bait, get out of there, and walk away. And get rid of this goddamn car!

Memphis: [Gesturing to Sway] Still looking amazing.
Sway: While *you*... still look like a bible salesman.
Memphis: [Reaching out and touching her forehead] You're healed.

Otto Halliwell: How Many Days?
Memphis: Three
Otto Halliwell: How many in your crew?
Memphis: One, but, I'm here to negotiate for a second.

Donny: Hello, and welcome to "TV Car Trivia!" First question, who was the driver of a '73 Firebird? Uh, Otto?
Otto Halliwell: Uh, Jim Rockford, "Rockford Files".
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Gimme "Columbo".
Kip: A Peugeot convertible.
Donny: What color?
Kip: Gray.
Mirror Man: How do you know that?
Kip: 'Cause I love that show.
Mirror Man: Man, I got three words for all of y'all: Get a life!
Freb: What's on Magnum P.I.'s license plate?
Tumbler: "ROBIN-1"
Kip: Wait, wasn't Robin that faggoty guy that always hung with him?
Memphis: Naw, that was Higgins. That was Higgins.
Otto Halliwell: Hey, hey, ten points for our fearless leader. Sway, how about giving us the Bill Bixby trifecta?
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Drove a Corvette in "The Magician", a Ford pickup truck in "The Incredible Hulk", and in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", he walked.

[in a Ferrari dealership]
Roger the Car Salesman: My name's Roger, Sir. May I be of some help?
Memphis: That's funny, my name's Roger... Two Rogers don't make a right.
Memphis: Roger, I have a problem...
Roger the Car Salesman: Yes?
Memphis: I've been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I'm not on anybody's "A" list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.
Roger the Car Salesman: Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.
Memphis: Perhaps, Mmmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-Indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam...
Roger the Car Salesman: You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir... You'd be a connoisseur.
Memphis: Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.

[when Calitri turns on the car crusher, Memphis points a gun at him]
Memphis: Shut it off!
Raymond Calitri: You got 30 seconds to consider your options.
Memphis: [screaming] SHUT IT OFF!
Raymond Calitri: One, you kill me, they kill you, your brother dies anyway.
Raymond Calitri: Two, you lie, you accept the job, you run, I hunt you down, I kill you, I kill your brother, and I kill your mother for the aggravation you cause me. Three, you accept the job, you steal some cars, you make some money, and you be a big brother.
[Memphis surrenders; One of Calitri's goon turns off the crusher]
Raymond Calitri: 8 a.m. Friday Morning. The cars are on the boat, or your brother's in the coffin.

[Freb brings a Cadillac into Otto's place]
Freb: I can deliver more than pizzas, huh? Boosted her myself.
Donny: How did you get this car?
Freb: Actually, the keys were in it.
Donny: Well, that kinda defies the point.
Memphis: You stole a car that wasn't on the list. Why don't you just go to the police station in a red clown suit and let everybody know what we're doing here?

Johnnie B.: Raines! Memphis Raines!
Memphis: Do I know you?
Johnnie B.: Well, you should know me, considering all the business you screwed up for me in the past, baby.
Memphis: Johnnie B.
Johnnie B.: That's me.
Memphis: What can I do for you?
Johnnie B.: Well, I'll tell you what you can do for me. Get out of Long Beach, tonight.
Memphis: I'm just here for a few days, I'm here on some family business.
Johnnie B.: Word on the street is that Raymond Calitri hired you and your brother for a top order, a order that should have gone to me.
Memphis: That's not the way it went down, Johnnie...
[Johnnie and his thugs attack Memphis; he fights some of them off, but then they pin him. Johnnie draws back his fist, but then someone shatters the window of his car]
Johnnie B.: Hey! Get away from my car, asshole!
[Sphinx blows up the car, then advances, shedding his coat]
Johnnie B.: Got something to say before I kill you, fool?
[Sphinx easily thrashes Johnnie and all his thugs]
Memphis: Sphinx. Otto sent you?

Kip: Why are people shooting at us?
Memphis: 'Cause I blew up their car!

[Johnny B.'s gang is chasing Memphis and Kip, but they stop when they go into a diner with a police car outside]
Memphis: Look!
Memphis: Cop car! Uh-huh! Long as I'm in there, you're just gonna sit out there, aren't you, ai'ight?

Memphis: [Memphis breaks one of the side mirrors off of Eleanor] It's ok, Eleanor. It can be fixed.

Memphis: I'd like to get a... chocolate malt.

Sway: What do you think is more exciting... having sex or stealing cars?
Memphis: Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Well, uh... How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?
Sway: Oh, that's a good line. Doesn't work on a lot of girls, though.
Memphis: I just blurted it out, I'm sorry... But, you haven't answered the question.
Sway: Well, you see, the problem is... how do you get over the shifter?
Memphis: Oh, oh right... because the uh...
Sway: 'Cos it gets in the way.
Memphis: Because you wouldn't want to disrupt the syncro-mesh... the throttle linkage... the clutch master cylinder... the overhead camshaft.
Sway: I can't do this.
Memphis: Straight inline 6, triple Weber carburetors, bolted to each other's body structures...
Sway: Well, it's time to work...
Memphis: Good brakes... good brakes, too!

Memphis: [From The Director's Cut] The list.
Donny: Ahhh, the list. Well, I guess we gotta start beatin' the bushes trying to find out where they... whoa. 1967 Shelby GT 500?
Memphis: I know. I know.
Donny: You got Eleanor here?
Memphis: It's weird, huh?
Donny: It's... voodoo.
Memphis: Oh, nonono, no, don't, don't say that.
Donny: [sings] I put a spell on you.

Memphis: Control, vision, determination. These are the three fundamental components of the new generation race car driver. Speed is a byproduct. Going fast. But remember: The car is you, you are the car. Okay? Let's ride!

Toby: [to Otto] I think that your dog ate the keys
Otto Halliwell: Wait, he usually goes for the license plate... are you sure?
[Toby shows the ripped up envelope]
Tumbler: Wait a minute... Wait a minute... the dog ate the keys
Toby: YES
Tumbler: [laughs] How... How are you gonna get them out
Donny: [to Tumbler] Not funny
Tumbler: [to Sphinx] Oh... excuse me
[Sphinx intervene and flicks open his knife]
Otto Halliwell, Toby: [stops Sphinx] Whoa... don't even think about Sphinx
Memphis: [to Sphinx] It's all right

[after Calitri falls to his death, Memphis and Castlebeck both look at Castlebeck's dropped gun. Slowly, Castlebeck bends over and picks it up]
Det. Roland Castlebeck: Here I am smack dab in the middle of a moral dilemma, Randall. You've ripped this city to shreds with that little escapade of yours, you and your Eleanor. But I understand what brought you back here. A brother's love is... a brother's love.
Det. Roland Castlebeck: You just saved my life, didn't you? So what are we going to do now?
Memphis: It's your call, Detective.
Det. Roland Castlebeck: [chuckles] Get out of here, Randall. I'll clean this up. Go, now, before I change my mind. Go.