Sidney J. Mussburger
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Quotes for
Sidney J. Mussburger (Character)
from The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)

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The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
Sidney J. Mussburger: Yeah yeah, sure sure.

Sidney J. Mussburger: When you're dead, you stay dead. Don't believe me, ask Waring Hudsucker.

Board Member 1: He could have opened the window.
Board Member 2: Waring Hudsucker never did anything the easy way.
Board Member 3: (weeping) Why? Why did he do it? Everything was going so well
Sidney J. Mussburger: What am I, a head shriker. Maybe the man was unhappy?
Board Member 3: He didn't look unhappy.
Board Member 4: He didn't look rich.
Board Member 5: Waring Hudsucker was never an easy man to figure out. He built this company with his bare hands, every step he took was a step up, except of course this last one.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Sure, sure he was a swell fella, but when the president, chairman of the board and owner of 87% of the company stock drops 44 floors...
Board Member 6: 45.
Board Member 7: Counting the mezzanine.
Sidney J. Mussburger: ...then the company too has a problem. What exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock.
Board Member 8: Well as you know, Hud left no will and had no family; the company bylaws are quite clear in that event. His entire portfolio will be converted into common stock and be sold over the counter as of the first of the fiscal year following his demise.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Meaning?
Board Member 8: Well, meaning simply that Waring stock, and control of the company, will be made available to the public January first.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Do you mean to say any slob in a smelly tee-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker stock?
Board Member 8: The company bylaws are quite clear.
Board Member 3: My God, you're animals. How can you discuss his stock when the man has just leapt 45 floors?
Board Member 6: 44.
Board Member 7: Not counting the mezzanine.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Quit showboating Addison, the man is gone. The question now is whether we're going to let John Q Public just waltz in here and buy our company.
Board Member 4: What are you suggesting Sidney? Certainly we can't afford to buy an controlling interest.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Not while the stock is this strong. How soon before Hud's paper hits the market?
Board Member 8: January 1st.
Board Member 2: 30 days.
Board Member 4: 4 weeks.
Board Member 5: A month at the most!
Sidney J. Mussburger: One month; to make the blue chip investment of the century look like a round trip ticket on the titanic.
Board Member 7: We play up the fact that Hud is dead.
All: Long live Hud!
Board Member 4: We depress the stock,
Board Member 5: To the point where we can buy 50%,
Board Member 6: 51,
Board Member 7: Not counting the mezzanine.
Sidney J. Mussburger: It could work.
Board Member 3: It should work.
Board Member 4: It would work.
Sidney J. Mussburger: It's working already. Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder.
Board Member 6: A puppet.
Board Member 5: A proxy.
Board Member 2: A pawn.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Sure, sure. Some jerk we can really push around.

[Norville is running around the room with his foot stuck in a trash can, which is on fire]
Sidney J. Mussburger: Get out!
[Norville opens a window and tries to throw out burning items from the trash can]
Sidney J. Mussburger: Not that way! The door!

Sidney J. Mussburger: [Referring to Norville] The barred-window boys are out looking for him now. We'll see how Wall Street likes the news that the president of Hudsucker is heading for the booby hatch. Huh! When Doc Bromfenbrenner gets through with him, he'll need diapers and a dribble cup!

Sidney J. Mussburger: [Norville] Sit down, son. Go ahead. Try it on. Put your feet up. Go ahead. Let's get to know one another, shall we? Let's chat man to man. Now then, you're from the basement aren't you, and not blessed with much education?

Myron Patterson: I'm getting off this merry-go-round.
Sidney J. Mussburger: Plexiglas. Had it installed last week.

Sidney J. Mussburger: [picking up the late Waring Hudsucker's freshly-lit cigar] It's a pity to waste a whole Montecristo.