The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: [performing at the record release party
] Rob, thank you for that kind introduction. We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.
: Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater.
: A Cosssssssby sweater. Did Laura let you leave the house like that?
: Holy shite. What the fuck is that? Dick
: It's the new Belle and Sebastian... Rob
: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry. Barry
: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass.
: Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?
[Rob turns off Barry's tape
: OK, buddy, uh, I was just tryin' to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care. Rob
: I don't wanna hear old sad bastard music, Barry, I just want something I can ignore. Barry
: Here's the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for *you*... special. Rob
: Well, it's fuckin' Monday afternoon! You should get out of bed earlier!
: Hi, do you have the song "I Just Called To Say I Love You?" It's for my daughter's birthday. Barry
: Yea we have it. Barry's Customer
: Great, Great, can I have it? Barry
: No, no, you can't. Barry's Customer
: Why not? Barry
: Well, it's sentimental tacky crap. Do we look like the kind of store that sells I Just Called to Say I Love You? Go to the mall.
: I don't have that record... I'll buy it for forty. Rob
: Sold. Louis
: Now why would you sell it to me and not to him? Barry
: Because you're not a geek, Louis. Louis
: You guys are snobs. Dick
: No, we're not. Louis
: Yeah, seriously, you're totally elitist. You feel like the unappreciated scholars, so you shit onto people who know lesser than you. Rob
: No! Louis
: Which is everybody... Rob
: Yeah... Louis
: That's so sad.
: Let 'em riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey.
: Why'd you have to tell her about the store? Barry
: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don't have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, not like, a business strategy
: I wanna date a musician. Rob Gordon
: I wanna live with a musician. She'd write songs at home and ask me what I thought of them, and maybe even include one of our little private jokes in the liner notes. Barry
: Maybe a little picture of me in the liner notes. Dick
: Just in the background somewhere.
[while Marie de Salle is singing "Baby I Love Your Way"
] Rob Gordon
: I used to hate this song. Barry
: Yeah. Rob Gordon
: Now I kinda like it. Barry
: How about the Jesus and Mary Chain? Barry's Customer
: They always seemed... Barry
: They always seemed what? They always seemed really great is what they always seemed. They picked up where your precious Echo left off, and you're sitting around complaining about no more Echo albums. I can't believe you don't own this fucking record. (tosses the record to the customer and walks away) That's insane. Jesus.
: Don't tell anyone you don't own "Blonde on Blonde". It's gonna be okay.
: Top 5 songs about death. A Laura's Dad tribute list, okay? Okay. Leader of the Pack. The guy fuckin' beefs it on his motorcycle and dies, right? Dead Man's Curve. Jan & Dean. Dick
: Do you know that right after they recorded that song Jan himself crashed his car... Barry
: It was Dean you fuckin' idiot... Rob
: It was Jan. It was a long time after the song. Barry
: Okay, whatever. Tell Laura I Love Her. That would bring the house down - Laura's Mom could sing it. You know what I'd want? One Step Beyond by Madness. And, uh, You Can't Always Get What You Want. Dick
: No. Immediate disqualification because of its involvement with The Big Chill. Barry
: Oh God. You're right! Dick
: Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot. Barry
: You bastard! That's so good - that should have been mine... The night Laura's daddy died. Sha na na na na na na na na! Brother what a night it really was. Mother what a night it really... angina's tough! Glory be!
: Hey, it's half past a monkey's ass, let's get out of here. Dick
: Um, I can't meet you guys at the club tonight. Barry
: Who are you going to see? Dick
: [grins bashfully
] Nobody. Barry
: Rob! Loooky-looky! Dick, are you gettin' some?
: Oh-ho-ho! Un-fucking-believable! Dick's got a hot date! How did this happen, Dick? What logical explanation can can there possibly be? What's her name? Dick
: Annaugh. Barry
: Anna? Anna what? Anna Conda? Dick
: Annaugh Moss. Barry
] Anna M-ha-ha-oss? Is she all green and fuzzy and mossy? And you met this bruiser where exactly? The home for the mentally challenged or the blind or the bus station? Dick
: Um, here. She asked me about the new Green Day album, and I told her... Barry
: Oh, man, finally! *Anna!* That's great, Dick! Really! Smoke that ass!
[Rob has just placed "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on a top five list
: Oh, that's not obvious enough Rob. How about the Beatles? Or fucking... fucking Beethoven? Side one, Track one of the Fifth Symphony... How can someone with no interest in music own a record store?
: I never thought I'd say this, but can I go work now?
: Just c'mon. What would it mean to you, that sentence - "I haven't seen Evil Dead II, yet"? Barry
: Well, to me it would mean you were a liar. You've seen it twice: once with Laura - Oops! - and once with me and Dick, remember? We had that conversation about the guy making Beretta shotgun ammunition offscreen in the 14th century.
: [From a deleted scene
] Barry, you're over 30 years old. You owe it to yourself, to your friends, to your parents, NOT to play in a band called Sonic Death Monkey! Barry
: I owe it to myself to go RIGHT to the edge, Rob! And this band does exactly that. Over the edge, in fact! Rob
: Well, you'll be going right over the fucking edge if you come anywhere near me on Friday night! Barry
: That's what we want: reaction! Hey, this was Laura's idea, not mine, buddy. And if Laura's bourgeois lawyer friends can't take it, FUCK them. Let 'em riot, we can take it! We're fuckin' Sonic Death Monkey.