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: Hey Andy, don't let him bother you. It's okay not to have sex. Not eveybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25? Andy Stitzer
: I'm 40. Mooj
: Holy shit, man, you got to get on that!
: Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. Not after fucking brunch!
: Listen to me, listen to me. You're fucking with the wrong nigga! Mooj
: Hey, hey! You're fucking with the wrong sand nigga!
: I will pray for your cock.
: [to Jay
] Tell me something, when your child is born, is he already on parole?
: Go fuck a goat.
: Life is about people. It's about connections. Andy Stitzer
: It's all about connections. Mooj
: It's not about cocks, and ass, and tits. Andy Stitzer
: Yeah. Mooj
: And butthole pleasures. Andy Stitzer
: It's not about butthole pleasures at all. Mooj
: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez. Andy Stitzer
: Please stop. Mooj
: And these cincinatti bowties, and these pussy juice cocktail, and these shit stained balls. Andy Stitzer
: Mooj, just please stop.
: Everybody dick look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV.
: [upon hearing about Andy's promotion
] This is the bullshit of all bullshit! Scumbag! Ass-kisser!
: [talking to a customer
] This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma. Jay
: What are you doing? That's my customer. Mooj
: It certainly is not. When I came upon her, she was unattended Jay
: No, no, that's my... She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested. Mooj
: I apologize, but it's too late. The transaction is completed. Jay
: Then you gonna give me half the commission. Mooj
: You will receive none of the commission. Jay
: I need to talk to Paula. This is crazy, man! Mooj
: This is bullshit! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about... how about Jesse Jackson? Oh, Jesse, he needs a call... Jay
: I'm sick of you poaching my customers. Mooj
: I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit! Jay
: You wanna take this shit outside? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it? Mooj
: Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood. Jay
: Listen to me, listen to me! You are fucking with the wrong nigger. Mooj
: Hey, hey! You are fucking with the wrong sand nigger, okay? Jay
: I will hang your old ass by your turban! Mooj
: [Mooj has a very definite Indian accent
] Oh, turban, now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, you want a slurpee? You want a slurpee?" Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay? Jay
: All right, man. Calm down, dude! Look... you still covering my shift on Friday or what? Mooj
: If I can keep this commission... with pleasure. Jay
: Cool, man. All right, pops.
[They hug; Jay leaves
: So tell me something Montell... Why were we not invited to your party? Are we Al Qaeda? Jay
: Whoa first of all it's not that kind of party. Mooj
: You know what? We are not coming to your fucking party okay? Fuck you! Go fuck a goat! Jay
: It's not that kind of party dawg Mooj
: Fuck you! Go fuck a goat Jay
: Hey why you always telling me to go fuck a goat man? Mooj
: [Yelling as he walks away
] Fuck a goat!