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: I'm a god. I can shape-shift. I can create stuff out of nothingness. I can alter the fabric of reality. So please, quit being a knucklehead.
: Where's my *mask*?
: Hey, Loki.
[suddenly picks up a phone receiver and shouts
] Tim Avery
: Give me back my son! Loki
: Um... No
: Good God! Loki
: And don't you forget it!
: Thanks for dropping by. Museum Security Guard
: Dropping? Loki
: [in the body of a shopkeeper
] You know, Thor never gave me this kind of trouble. Loki
: Oh, here we go again with the Thor crap. Thor, Thor, Thor! You know, father, I'm not like Thor. I'm never gonna be like Thor. I just wish that - can't you just love me for who I am and not for who I'm not? Odin
: No! I want you to be more like Thor!
: Okay, you give me Alvey, and the mask is yours. Loki
: [takes the mask and turns away with Alvey
] I can't let go. I've grown attached. Tonya Avery
: Alvey! Tim Avery
: Hey, we had a deal! Loki
: I'm the God of friggin' Mischief, what did you expect?
: You've brought me much grief, Loki
] Right back at ya... DAD!
: [looks at the mask and sees it's a fake
] THIS IS A FAKE! Dr. Neuman
: Yes, but it's a good fake.
: Okay, no let me think. What should I turn him into?
: Who are you? Loki
: I'm Loki, God of Mischief. Tim Avery
: And I'm Tim, God of Crazy-Baby-Land. Can you move please? Loki
: Your son was born of the mask, *my* mask. Where is it? Tim Avery
: Born of the... Oh! So, that's why he can pee like that.
: [about Odin
] Off the throne... He's off the throne. That's not good.
: [possessing the shopkeeper
] Fool! What in Helveti were you about to do to this shopkeep? Loki
: Nothing, I... Odin
: Fool! Don't lie to me! You know Thor never gave me this kind of trouble. Loki
: Here we go again with the Thor crap.
: As expected, you've failed at your promise. You've failed at your quest. You are, in ever sense of the word, a failure. Tim Avery
: [to Tanya
] Wow, and I thought your dad was mean. Loki
: Hey, we both knew it was gonna end this way, right? You practically set me up for failure, so at least I'm living up to your expectation in that regard. Odin
] You did the conjuring ceremony, by yourself? Loki
: Hey, I pay attention... sometimes.
: The gentle Freyja eats like a man among us. Loki
] In her eagerness to come to my lord Thrym's marriage, she did not stop to eat for eight days.
: [at Loki's cleverness
] You see? Smart.
: The gentle Freyja's eyes burn as brightly as a warrior's on the eve of battle. Loki
] In her eagerness to arrive, she did not stop to sleep for eight nights on the road. Thrym
] And she won't on the ninth.
: [Examines the antler
] This is very beautiful. She's very talented. We'll be able to trade it for something useful.
: What will they do if they find you? Loki
: Shoot me.
: You would have killed your own brother? Loki
: Oh, don't be jealous! I would've *killed* you *next*!
: [fighting monster
] I thought you said I won! Loki
: King of LIES! Sheesh, how many times do I have to say it?
Loke, the Archeologist
: [while the two of them are digging
] Ansgar? Ansgar - Archeologist
: Yes, Loke? Loke, the Archeologist
: Are you a virgin?
: [to Ronny
] Kiss me, my love. Spencer
: [peals off Ronny mask revealing himself
] I don't normally kiss on the first date. Loki
: What? The servant! I've been tricked! Spencer
: Exactly. You asked for some cake.
[smashes cake in Loki's face