The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: You, boy, are arrogant, hot tempered and entirely too bold. I like that. Reminds me of me. Aramis
: Don't encourage him. By helping us the boy has made himself an outlaw as well. Athos
: Not if he leaves Paris right now. D'Artagnan
: I can't leave now, I just got here. Porthos
: Go home. Find a wench, raise fat babies, live a good long life. D'Artagnan
: What about the motto of the Musketeers? All for one and one for all. Athos
: Wake up boy. The Musketeers are just a dream.
: Rochefort. Isn't that a smelly kind of cheese?
: A lively tune... I'm inspired to dance!
[five Cardinal's guards ride up as Athos and D'Artagnan prepare to duel
: Only a fool would try and arrest us twice in one day. Jussac
: You're under arrest. Aramis
: A fool. Jussac
: Are you coming peacefully or do you intend to resist? Porthos
: Oh don't be so stupid, of course we intend to resist! Just give us a moment, all right?
[to his comrades:
: Five of them, three of us. Hardly seems fair. Aramis
: Maybe we should give them a chance to surrender. D'Artagnan
: Excuse me, but there's four of us. Athos
: It's not your fight. You're not a Musketeer. D'Artagnan
: I may not wear the tunic, but I believe I have the heart of a Musketeer. Porthos
: Warrior! Aramis
: Poet! Athos
: You got a name, boy? D'Artagnan
: D'Artagnan. Athos
: Athos, Porthos, Aramis. Porthos
: Pleased to meet you again. Aramis
: Pleasure. Porthos
: Everyone acquainted?
[the four whirl around and unsheathe their swords
: NOW, we are prepared to resist you!
: So what do we do now? What's next? Porthos
: Well, we protect the King. Aramis
: Protect the Queen. Porthos
: In the name of God. And France, correct? Aramis
: France indeed.
[Girard and his brothers have caught up with D'Artagnan. At the other end of the street they draw swords
: D'Artagnan! My sister's honor will not wait a moment longer. D'Artagnan
: I'll handle this. Porthos
: D'Artganan, we also protect each other. D'Artagnan
: All for one. Porthos
: And one for all.
[Girard's eyes widen
[Girard and co are pursued by all the musketeers
: As morning hues of sunswept... Aramis
: Fire! D'Artagnan
: ...fire caress your... poisoned face.
[Aramis looks pained. D'Artagnan gives up, and sweeps the bar maid into a kiss
: I declare, the boy's a natural!
[the three musketeers and D'Artagnan are escaping from the Cardinal's men in his own coach
: Champagne? Athos
: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos. Porthos
: You're right - something red.
[During a chase, in the Cardinal's own coach
: For a chase, the Cardinal recommends his excellent '24 Cabernet. Porthos
: [to D'Artagnan
] You can't have any, you're too young. Athos
: Take the reins, boy.
: This sash was a gift to me, from the Queen of America. D'Artagnan
: There's no queen of America! Porthos
: I beg to differ, infant. We're on quite intimate terms, unless you can prove otherwise.
: The picnic was delicious, the champagne was excellent, remind me to send the Cardinal a note. D'Artagnan
: The Cardinal! We have to hurry! Porthos
: You two have a date? D'Artagnan
: No. It's the Cardinal. He's conspiring against the king. Aramis
: Tell us something we don't know.
: Shakespeare? Aramis
: Aramis. Porthos
: Come D'Artagnan, we're saving the King!
: It's about time. Porthos
] Come D'Artagnan we're saving the king
: Ah ha! The Cardinal's sacred snack chamber. Aramis
: And what have we here? Is he a man of God or a man of gold?
: Where have you been? Porthos
: Taking care of something ugly!
: God, I love my work!
: [reacting to D'Artagnan knocking into the waiter, causing food to spill on his sash
] Excuse me! This sash was a gift to me from the queen of America. D'Artagnan
: There's no queen of America. Porthos
: I beg to differ, infant. We're on quite intimate terms unless you can prove otherwise. D'Artagnan
: [drawing his sword
] Here's my proof. Porthos
: I see. He thinks he can challenge the mighty Porthos with a sword. D'Artagnan
: The mighty who? Porthos
: Don't tell me you've never heard of me. D'Artagnan
: The world's biggest windbag? Porthos
: Little pimple, meet me behind the Luxembourg at one o'clock and bring a long wooden box. D'Artagnan
: Bring your own...
: It's Porthos the Pirate! AAAAH!
[the bad guys jump overboard
: Pirate? Porthos
: I told you I was famous.
[after dropping a group of the Cardinal's guards with a chandelier
: Did I miss anyone? Aramis
: Congratulations, Porthos. You brought down the house. Porthos
: Oh, drat. I was trying to hit Rochefort.
: The Cardinal! We have to hurry! Porthos
: You two have a date? D'Artagnan
: No, it's the Cardinal! He's conspiring against the King! Aramis
: Tell us something we don't know. D'Artagnan
: He sent a messenger with a secret treaty to a man named Buckingham. Porthos
: The Duke of Buckingham? D'Artagnan
: Do you know him? Aramis
: He rules England the way the Cardinal rules France. D'Artagnan
: There's a ship called the Persephone. It's waiting in Calais to take the messenger to England. It sails Tuesday, midnight. Porthos
: If we get that treaty, we can prove the Cardinal guilty of treason. Aramis
: Calais is over 200 leagues from here. Athos
: Is the Cardinal aware of the fact that you have this information? D'Artagnan
: How's your head D'Artagnan? D'Artagnan
: I'm beginning to wish the Cardinal *had* chopped it off. Will you stop whistling please? Porthos
: I'm not whistling. D'Artagnan
: Well somebody's whistling. Porthos
: Barmaid's kiss left him dizzy. Aramis
: I hear it too. Sounds like a... Athos
: Cannon ball! Porthos
: Oh I *hate* cannon balls.
: The treaty outlines the Cardinal's plans to forge an alliance with Buckingham. Porthos
: No mention of the King? Aramis
: None. However, the arrangement is contingent upon a demonstration of the Cardinal's power. D'Artagnan
: Demonstration? What kind of demonstration? Aramis
: I don't know. Athos
: I know someone who does.
: [a really drunk Porthos sees Athos
] Ooh. May I have this dance?
: [fighting a very large man
] Smelly... lump... OF LARD!
: Your manners have not improved yet. You're late. D'Artagnan
: You in a hurry to die? Athos
: [Porthos and Aramis arrive
] Here come the grave diggers now. Porthos
: Athos, you cannot fight this boy. Athos
: Why not? Porthos
: I'm fighting him. D'Artagnan
: Not until 1 o'clock. Aramis
: I have a duel with him too. D'Artagnan
: Not until 2 o'clock.
: [disguised as an executioner at D'Artagnon's execution
] This axe was given to me by the Czarina of Tokyo.
: Whoa, ugly!
: [preparing to start a duel with Athos
] I'll be with you gentlemen in a moment. Porthos
: Oh, he's a fiesty little fellow. Aramis
: Fiesty indeed.
: [D'Artagnan is driving and takes a sharp turn causing Porthos to spill his drink
] That's it. Next time you drive.
: [Porthos stabs a man he is fighting with a blade attached to a gun
] I like this!
: [after Porthos arrives and helps him fight off the Cardinals Guards
] Where have you been? Porthos
: Taking care of something ugly.
: Perhaps you should take his offer. We're dead anyway. Porthos
: He's right, D'Artagnan. Phillippe
: Wait. Bargain me to Louis for all your lives. You've done your best. Please let me go. D'Artagnan
: No, I cannot do it. Even if I could give up my king, I could never give up my son.
[they all look at him, thunderstruck
: Your son? D'Artagnan
: I loved your mother. I love her still. You are my son. I never knew you existed. And I never felt pride as a father... until this moment.
: The King has ordered me to seek out the secret general of the Jesuits and kill him. Porthos
: You should let the secret general worry about that. Aramis
: Therein is the problem. I am he. I am the general of the order of Jesuits.
: Aramis, is this the way to hell? Aramis
: Hell may be our destination, but not this trip.
: [the Musketeers have just broken into the Bastille to free Philippe
] It worked! Athos
: Of course; it's a prison. There's no trouble getting in, the problems will come when we want to get out.
: Why are you so glum? Porthos
: I expected action. There was no fighting, there was no killing. I was useless. Aramis
: Porthos, I grow tired of this attitude. You're surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger. What more can a man want? The robins are singing, the pigeons are cooing. Can't you listen to their song?
[he walks off in disgust; Porthos takes off his hat when something falls on it to reveal it's bird-dung
[the Four Musketeers and Phillipe are trapped by riflemen at the other end of the hallway
: D'Artagnan... They're young Musketeers. They've been weaned on our legends. They revere us. It is an advantage. Porthos
: Yes. Why don't we charge them? D'Artagnan
: I trained these men. They will fight to the death. But if we must die - if WE must die - let it be like this.
[He draws his sword and points it at the floor. Aramis, Porthos, and Athos, join their swords with his
: One for all. All for one.
[Athos and Aramis hear Porthos scream
: What happened? Porthos
: Kidney stones. It hurts when I piss. It hurts when I shit. I'm just a fat old fart with nothing to live for anymore. I'm going to hang myself, as soon as I'm sober.
[Porthos brings three wenches to Aramis' apartment, but they find him at prayer
: Sorry, my dears. You would have enjoyed it too. He's hung like a donkey. Wench
: So are you. Porthos
: Really? He's been asleep for so long, I've forgotten about him.
: I love Paris, I love life, and I love you.
: I'd rather die covered in blood than an old man lying in my own piss.
: Sometimes there are more important things in life than a good pair of tits. Porthos
: Really? If you can name me one thing that is more sublime than the feel of a plump, pink nipple between my lips, I'll build you a new cathedral. Aramis
: Forgiveness... Porthos
: There... i am i forgiven? Come on... am i forgiven?
[play fight ensures between them
: [he puts the rope around his neck and prepares to jump
] Farewell cruel world... farewell to useless Porthos.
: [Aramis and Athos are watching the building from the outside
] What was that? Aramis
: It's all right; I sawed the beam.
[the building promptly collapses, and Athos stares at Aramis in disbelief
: Well, I'm a genius, not an engineer!
: [a naked Porthos has tried to hang himself but failed
] Aramis! You sawed the beam! You knew I would I try to hang myself and you sawed the beam! Admit it. Admit it! Aramis
: Of course I knew! And now that you've got the idea of killing yourself out of your head you can stop boring everyone and be useful for a change. And put some clothes on!
: Porthos... don't you understand? I'm trying to PRAY! Porthos
: You're always praying!
: Stop praying and revel with me, Aramis! I need my spirits lifted. I'm old, I'm weak, my strength is gone. Aramis
: Porthos! I'm praying. Porthos
: I just said you're praying. Are you deaf, too? I know you're blind, because if you'd seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.
: You know, it strikes me that we would be better employed wringing Milady's pretty neck than shooting these poor devils of Protestants. I mean, what are we killing them for? Because they sing psalms in French and we sing them in Latin? Aramis
: Porthos, have you no education? What do you think religious wars are all about?
: [the Musketeers have captured MiLady
] As the Comte de la Fere; with the rights of high, middle and low justice, I accuse this woman of the murder of Constance de Bonacieux. How say you? Aramis
: Death. Porthos
: Death. D'Artagnan
] Death. Athos
: Death. MiLady DeWinter
: No! You have no power of justice over me! D'Artagnan! If you love me; do not let them do this! Athos
: Make one move to save her, D'Artagnan and we will cross swords; and this time, I swear I will kill you.
: [a bullet shatters his wine glass
] This wine does not travel well.
: [to D'Artagnan
] Let us rescue your mistress. It's the very least one can do for a friend. D'Artagnan
: If she can stay with the Sisters
[in a convent
: while we're at La Rochelle... Porthos
: I'm sure they'll learn a great deal from each other.
: [the Musketeers has just rescued him from a firing squad
] Not before time, musketeers! Porthos
: Who hurries to rescue a spy? And a Cardinal's spy?
: [to Constance after the three musketeers have dropped her off at the convent
] Don't let them get you into any dirty habits!
Duke of Buckingham
: [the Musketeers have unwittingly rescued the Duke of Buckingham from Richilieu's men
] I could have managed on my own, but my thanks to you gentlemen anyway.
: [looks after him, then to Athos
] Who was that? Athos
: I don't know, but he sounded a touch foreign to me. Didn't he?
: Discretion is the better part of vanity. Porthos
: I don't understand. I know the one about valor, though I don't agree. I can't be discreet about how valiant I am, shouldn't be asked.
: [to Athos, who is about to duel D'Artagnan
] Are you fighting this, er, fellow? But I'm meeting him meself. D'Artagnan
: But not till one o'clock, sir. Aramis
: Oh, no no no. I'm to fight him this afternoon. D'Artagnan
: At two o'clock, sir. Athos
: How long have you been in Paris? D'Artagnan
: Since eight o'clock this morning. Athos
: You waste little time, sir. D'Artagnan
: My father recommended that I fight duels. Athos
] Well! Let us hope you can do him some credit, hm?
: We have a duty to suppress disorder and arrest brawlers. Put up your swords and come along with us. Athos
: Impossible. Porthos
: Unthinkable. Aramis
: May one ask - delicately - the cause in which we're expected to die? Aramis
: When you go on a campaign, does the King give his reasons? He says, "Porthos, fight!" and you fight. Porthos
: Oh, I do, I do! Aramis
: Then let's go and be killed where we're told to! Is life worth so many questions?
: [feels his cheekbone
] God! I love that in a woman. Porthos
: What, passion? Aramis
: What's the vital thing to remember in a duel? D'Artagnan
: Honour? Porthos
: [slaps the back of D'Artagnan's head
] Not getting killed. By biting, kicking, gouging, it's all good. D'Artagnan
: I was raised to fight like a gentleman. Aramis
: Were you raised to die young?
: You know these stories can be greatly exaggerated. Constance
: Really? Porthos
: Mmm. Constance
: I was told you led him into danger and then abandoned him. Porthos
: That one is about right.
: You're reckless, arrogant, impetuous, probably be dead by sundown, but I like you, lad.
: Planchet, what are you? Planchet
: Complete and utter waste of space, sir. Porthos
: And? Planchet
: As much use as a fart in a bottle, sir. Porthos
: Right. Planchet
: In short, sir, a total tit, sir, but I can't work bleeding miracles!
: Well-played. I could use men like you.
[Richelieu holds out his hand; Aramis takes it to kiss it, then stops
: Ehh... I already have a job. Athos
: I'm a drunk. Porthos
: I'm independently wealthy. D'Artagnan
: Thanks, but no. Richelieu
: The day will come when you'll wish you had said "yes". D'Artagnan
: Maybe. But not today.
: This wine is rejuvenating. D'Artagnan
: Don't get too rejuvenated.
: Young Louis was given a baby crocodile from Egypt. The queen dropped it in a sewer, and it's been living off whatever it can find ever since. Porthos
: Is that true, Bonacieux? Bonacieux
: Something kept dragging the poor workers away. All we ever found were bones. Porthos
: I'm very glad you and D'Artagnan lead this little group. D'Artagnan
: Me too. Crocodiles attack from behind.
: [Seeing nine soldiers matched against him and his three musketeer friends
] Is the King being frugal? Only nine men? First Officer
: And ninety more outside! Porthos
: [With bravado
: Porthos, when did a wound ever come between you and a fight? Porthos
: [lying on his stomach
] Well, unfortunately the position of this one comes between me and my horse.
: Come on! There is greater adventure beyond.
Milady de Winter
: What happened to those days? Will that summer ever come back? Will the cold be driven away? Don't look back: look ahead. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin and give us one more chance: what do you say? What do you say? What do you say? Milady de Winter
: [Breaks down in tears on ATHOS' shoulder
: [holds MILADY and almost kisses her but pushes her away
: [to ARAMIS and PORTHOS who are behind MILADY, unseen to her
] What is your verdict? Aramis
: Death Porthos
: Death Milady de Winter
: Athos? No Athos
: [draws his sword
] Milady de Winter
: No, Athos, no!
[turns and throws herself from the tower
: [running to the parapet
: Ah, it is useless. I had hoped to ride with you, but I cannot. Devil take this gout! And yet, young D'Artagnan and Aramis ride in their fathers' steeds. Porthos
: Then I shall ride for you! Old Porthos
: Then one for all! D'Artagnan
: One for all! Old Porthos
: And all for one! D'Artagnan
: All for one! Old Porthos
: Ride hard and fast, my lads!