Dr. Carson Beckett
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Quotes for
Dr. Carson Beckett (Character)
from "Stargate: Atlantis" (2004)

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"Stargate: Atlantis: Sateda (#3.4)" (2006)
Dr. Carson Beckett: You have an arrow, Rodney, in your Gluteus Maximus.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [on lots of morphine] That sounds painful.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [to himself] Gluteus Maximus... gluteus maximus...
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh my god! That's my ass!
Dr. Carson Beckett: Aye.

Dr. Rodney McKay: [referring to calling Ronon "Caveman"] It's a nickname. Buddies have nicknames!
Dr. Carson Beckett: So now you're buddies?

Ronon Dex: Which one of you killed the Wraith?
Dr. Carson Beckett: I did.
Dr. Rodney McKay: My idea!

Dr. Rodney McKay: So many colors... all the pretty horses.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: What's he talking about?
Dr. Carson Beckett: I gave him some morphine for the pain.
Airman: I need to know how many villagers. How far is the gate from the village?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Have you seen a guy around? He looks like you, but he's got messy hair. I think I lost him somewhere. And - and a pretty woman, and a caveman.
Dr. Carson Beckett: I may have given him a wee bit too much.

Dr. Rodney McKay: Excuse me? Why am I lying here?
Dr. Carson Beckett: You have an arrow, Rodney, in your gluteus maximus.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh. Well, that sounds painful.
[sighs]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Gluteus maximus... Glootus... maa... ximus. Oh, my God. That's my ass, isn't it?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Aye.

Dr. Rodney McKay: Where do you think you're going?
Dr. Carson Beckett: I'm going to help them.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What are you, crazy? You're a doctor!
Dr. Carson Beckett: What does that have to do with it?
[Rodney tries to take the gun]
Dr. Carson Beckett: What are you doing?
Dr. Rodney McKay: I'm going.
Dr. Carson Beckett: You can barely walk.
Dr. Rodney McKay: I can walk fine. I just can't sit.
Dr. Carson Beckett: And you're a terrible shot.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, what, and you're Rambo now?

Dr. Carson Beckett: There's more than one gun, we can both bloody go.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah, well someone has to stay with the jumper...
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: [over the radio] That's it. We got 'em all. McKay?
Dr. Rodney McKay: [checks the HUD] Yeah, it's just you guys left. Well, that was quick.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Well, I got six. Teyla got...
Teyla Emmagan: Eight.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I got nine, Teyla got eight, Ronon got the rest.

Ronon Dex: Which one of you killed the Wraith?
Dr. Carson Beckett: [smiles proudly] That would be me.
Dr. Rodney McKay: My idea.
Teyla Emmagan: Ronon...
Dr. Carson Beckett: What?
[worried]
Dr. Carson Beckett: Don't tell me you're not happy that he's dead.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I had him in my sights, but Ronon said he'd kill me if I shot him.
Dr. Rodney McKay: It was all Beckett's idea.
Ronon Dex: [hugs Carson] Thanks, doc.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What, him you thank?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I could've killed him at any time, but Teyla wouldn't let me.
Ronon Dex: Thank you. All of you.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, don't mention it.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: It's nothing, really. I only killed eleven, twelve Wraith.

Dr. Carson Beckett: How about you sit down and I get that tracking device out of you and de-activated before that hive ship gets a bead on us? I take it this time you won't mind if I give you a sedative?
[Ronon passes out and falls to the floor]
Dr. Carson Beckett: Or not.

Dr. Rodney McKay: What the hell is going on down there?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Ronon thinks he can get the head Wraith responsible for all this to come down and fight him if we kill all these Wraith first.
Dr. Rodney McKay: That is the stupidest plan I have ever heard.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I don't know. Killing a bunch of Wraith always seems like a good idea to me.
Dr. Rodney McKay: They outnumber you 25 to 3.
Dr. Carson Beckett: It's actually 22 to 3... 21...
Teyla Emmagan: And Ronon appears to be quite angry.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, that evens it out.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Phantoms (#3.9)" (2006)
Dr. Carson Beckett: [about a decaying body] He's been dead for months.
Dr. Rodney McKay: No... really?

Dr. Carson Beckett: [looking over decaying body] He's been dead for months.
Dr. Rodney McKay: No, really?

Dr. Rodney McKay: I'm picking up that puzzling energy reading.
Dr. Carson Beckett: What is it?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Did I not just use the word "puzzling"?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Charming.

Dr. Carson Beckett: Do you suppose the Genii are responsible for the energy readings we're detecting?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Probably. It'd be just our luck we've stumbled on one of their nuclear testing sites.
Lt. Kagan: [worried] Nuclear testing site?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Just a small one.

Ronon Dex: A Wraith bunker, but no Wraith.
Teyla Emmagan: It appears to have been abandoned for some time.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: The Genii probably stumbled on to it just like we did.
Dr. Carson Beckett: And then promptly killed each other. Why?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Another Hardy Boys mystery.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: What is this?
Dr. Carson Beckett: It appears to be organic.
Dr. Rodney McKay: It's like the energy conduit aboard a Wraith ship... and every bit as disgusting.

Dr. Carson Beckett: You wanted a scalpel?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah, I need it to cut through this membrane. It's like surgery. It's more up your alley, maybe you oughta do it.
Dr. Carson Beckett: I'm a little preoccupied at the moment, thank you.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah, how is Kroger?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Kagen.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Kagen. Kagen. What is it with me and names?

Dr. Carson Beckett: Rodney.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hmm?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Have you experienced anything yet?
Dr. Rodney McKay: No. Everyone's brain chemistry is different. Maybe some people are more susceptable than others. Look, I toked pot once in college. Didn't feel a thing.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Really?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Mm. Well, aside from itchy. And the overpowering urge to eat an entire loaf of white bread.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Irresistible (#3.3)" (2006)
Lucius Lavin: I have to confess, I have concocted remedies for almost every known ailment.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Every single one?
Lucius Lavin: Well, every one in town. This sick have been cured. The lame can walk again. Well, some still crawl, but they crawl a lot faster than they used to.

Dr. Carson Beckett: There's so much he can offer us!
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Is this the same guy who said he could cure my cold in a week?
Dr. Carson Beckett: I know my business, Colonel Sheppard. He happens to have created several remedies that are quite remarkable.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Really? That guy?

Dr. Carson Beckett: He also possesses many valuable herbs and spices and gourds.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Did you just say gourds?

Dr. Carson Beckett: He's a very wise and kind man.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Are you feeling all right?
Dr. Carson Beckett: What do you mean?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: It's just you're acting... a little...
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Smitten?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I had another word in mind.

Lucius Lavin: You can fly this thing?
Dr. Rodney McKay: I can fly it, too.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Yes, now that you've received the A.T.A. therapy, which I invented. I was actually born with the gene, which makes me much more proficient at operating Ancient technology.
Dr. Rodney McKay: It does not. He doesn't fly this thing any better than I do.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Don't you lie to Lucius!

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: So everyone here... back to normal?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: We're still fine, John.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: No lingering desires? Secret longings for his touch?
Dr. Carson Beckett: It's embarrassing enough without you constantly reminding us, thank you.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Hey, buddy, I'd better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout.
[Runs off]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Right.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Rodney.
Dr. Rodney McKay: It was one teeny, tiny taste for research purposes.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Burn it.
Dr. Carson Beckett: All of it.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Right now.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Fine. Story of my life.


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Return: Part 1 (#3.10)" (2006)
Dr. Rodney McKay: What was it?
Dr. Carson Beckett: What?
Dr. Rodney McKay: What were you gonna say? Now I'm curious.
Dr. Carson Beckett: [hesitantly] I was gonna say: Goodbye, Rodney.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: You should call her.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Who? Cadman?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: You guys did make a cute couple.
Dr. Carson Beckett: It didn't work out. Maybe it had to do with our first kiss being through Rodney.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: [cell phones ring] Sheppard.
Dr. Rodney McKay: McKay.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Hello?
Dr. Carson Beckett: [only one not answering a phone] I didn't bring my bloody cell phone with me? What's happening?

Major General Hank Landry: What's the best way to get a nuke through the shield?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Well, I have no idea.
Major General Hank Landry: I didn't call YOU in.

Dr. Carson Beckett: My Turtles!

Dr. Elizabeth Weir: I've been doing a bit of writing... working on my memoirs.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Your memoirs? About your time in Atlantis?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Yes, somewhat.
Dr. Carson Beckett: And on what planet did you expect to publish it?


"Stargate: Atlantis: Rising (#1.1)" (2004)
Dr. Carson Beckett: Then you don't even know about the Stargate.
Major John Sheppard: The what?

Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh. So the story of Atlantis is true. A great city that sank in the ocean.
Dr. Carson Beckett: It just didn't happen on Earth.

Dr. Carson Beckett: [about Teyla] How come I never make friends like that?
Dr. Rodney McKay: You need to get out more.
Dr. Carson Beckett: We're in another galaxy - how much more out can you get?

Major John Sheppard: So some people have the same genes as these Ancients.
Dr. Carson Beckett: The specific gene is very rare. But on the whole they look very much like we do. In fact, they were first. We're the second evolution of this form. The Ancients having explored this galaxy for millions of years before -
[Sheppard sits in the chair]
Dr. Carson Beckett: Major, please don't.
Major John Sheppard: Come on. What are the odds of me having the same genes as these guys?
[Chair powers up]
Dr. Carson Beckett: Quite slim, actually. Dr. Weir!

Dr. Rodney McKay: There's nothing to be afraid of!
Dr. Carson Beckett: You don't understand - I break things like that!
Dr. Rodney McKay: This device has survived intact for millions of years - it will survive you. Now sit down, shut your eyes and concentrate!


"Stargate: Atlantis: Poisoning the Well (#1.6)" (2004)
Carson Beckett M. D.: Converting the human body into energy and sending it millions of lightyears through a wormhole. Bloody insanity!
Dr. Rodney McKay: Come on, how often do you get to travel to an alien planet?
Carson Beckett M. D.: I was already on an alien planet!

Carson Beckett M. D.: It's not that I mind lending people a hand...
Maj. John Sheppard: No, of course not.
Dr. Rodney McKay: You're a generous man, Carson.
Carson Beckett M. D.: But it's the principle of the thing, isn't it? You can't go volunteering someone for something without consulting them first. That's not even volunteering, is it? It's being pressed into service. Not to mention the fact I'm not...
Maj. John Sheppard: ...military and I can't give you orders. I know.
Dr. Rodney McKay: No, he just doesn't like going through the Stargate.
Maj. John Sheppard: He's worse than Dr McCoy.
Teyla Emmagan: Who?
Maj. John Sheppard: The TV character that Dr Beckett plays in real life.

Perna: What do you think?
Carson Beckett M. D.: That it goes against everything I believe in. There's an oath among medical people where I come from. It begins, "First, do no harm."
Perna: Important words to you.
Carson Beckett M. D.: More than words, Perna.
Perna: "The battle rages at the very threshold of our laboratory now. Those of us working to the last know that these few final hours have been dearly purchased, yet our concentration has not waned. We cannot hope to save ourselves but we can hope that one last insight, one last revelation before we take our dying breaths, may prevent this terrible day from happening again."
Carson Beckett M. D.: Ferrel's last journal entry.
Perna: More than words, Carson.

Carson Beckett M. D.: "Victory at all costs." That sound familiar, Major?
Maj. John Sheppard: Churchill.
Carson Beckett M. D.: Aye. Never thought I'd disagree.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Hide and Seek (#1.2)" (2004)
Dr. Rodney McKay: [to the mouse] Got your eye on anyone?
Carson Beckett M. D.: Umm, not really.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Actually I was talking to the mouse. But now that you mention it, some of those Athosian women are pretty hot, and we DID just save them from the Wraith, so we gotta trade on that while we can. You know, before they discover that we're not actually that cool.

Dr. Peter Grodin: I'm thinking, Mr. Invincible!
Carson Beckett M. D.: Captain Untouchable!
Dr. Peter Grodin: [both laugh] Ooh, that's good!
Dr. Rodney McKay: You guys done?
Carson Beckett M. D.: I've been working on this gene therapy for months, forgive me for wanting to celebrate the fact that it worked on the first human trial!
Dr. Rodney McKay: [sarcastic] Oooh, Let's all have a toast!

Carson Beckett M. D.: This may be more serious than I suspected.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Why, thank you! I'm hungry already. What am I going to do? If I don't get this stupid thing off, I'll be dead by the end of the day.
Carson Beckett M. D.: Relax. You can live three or four days without water.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah, I'm talking about food!
Carson Beckett M. D.: Well, you found some Ancient text with the device. What did it say about taking it off?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, yeah, there were some explicit instructions which I chose to completely ignore!
Dr. Peter Grodin: Well, some Ancient technology uses a mental component for operation.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Just shut up. I'm thinking.
Dr. Peter Grodin: Is there any chance that the gene therapy isn't permanent?
Carson Beckett M. D.: It's possible.
Dr. Rodney McKay: I'm a dead man.

Carson Beckett M. D.: He fainted.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, there's gotta be a better word!
Carson Beckett M. D.: Faint is the proper medical term.
Dr. Rodney McKay: I passed out from... manly hunger.
Major John Sheppard: Well, hang in there.
[He turns his radio on]
Major John Sheppard: Doctor Weir, this is Sheppard. Uh, McKay's OK. He, uh, he fainted.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, yes, very sympathetic! Let's all mock the dying man! Thank you!


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Gift (#1.17)" (2005)
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: You were right.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Lovely! About what?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Your theory of the Wraith evolving after the Ancients arrived in Pegasus galaxy...
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, you're kidding me!
Dr. Radek Zelenka: Pay up.
Dr. Carson Beckett: How d'you know?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: The Wraith language... It's a derivative of Ancient.

Dr. Carson Beckett: It was very easy to miss. In fact, I couldn't even make the kind of comparison necessary to isolate the specific strand. We needed Wraith cells, which we eventually got, but then we need a full mapping of the genetic code contained within those cells, which wasn't even fifty percent complete...
Teyla Emmagan: Please! Tell me.
Dr. Carson Beckett: You have some Wraith DNA in your genetic make-up.

Major John Sheppard: You're saying Teyla's part-Wraith?
Dr. Carson Beckett: A very small part.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Which makes her about as different from us as you, because of the Ancient gene you possess.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, and some other things!

Dr. Carson Beckett: My theory is that the Ancients unwittingly allowed humans to evolve on a planet with, uh, insect species on it. At some point the insects fed on humans and somehow incorporated our DNA into theirs. The Wraith are an evolution of that combination.
Lt. Aiden Ford: So what you're saying is the Ancients actually created the Wraith?
Dr. Carson Beckett: By accident.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Or negligence.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Duet (#2.4)" (2005)
Dr. Carson Beckett: You have a date, Rodney? With a woman?
Dr. Rodney McKay: It is simply two adults sharing some friendly... yes, with a woman!

Dr. Carson Beckett: All of his vitals are stable. His body's reacting like it has been struck by a Wraith stunner.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: So you think once the initial shock is over we'll have the old McKay back>
Dr. Carson Beckett: I'm afraid so.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Irresponsible (#3.13)" (2006)
Dr. Carson Beckett: Rodney you're not trying to dig your way out of here, are you?
Dr. Rodney McKay: See if you can find another spoon. Someone helping; this'll go twice as fast.

Dr. Carson Beckett: Nobody gets hurt. That's my vote, and my heartfelt recommendation.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: You want to hide.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, we could call it strategic concealment.


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Real World (#3.6)" (2006)
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Do you think she's aware we're here?
Dr. Rodney McKay: How can she be? She's unconscious.
Dr. Carson Beckett: You may be right. You could try talking to her. Tell her to keep fighting.
Dr. Rodney McKay: And that will help exactly how?
Dr. Carson Beckett: In a coma, one's sense of hearing is the last thing to go and the first thing to return. There are many cases where patients were actually able to hear others talking to them in their rooms.
Dr. Rodney McKay: And were these comas also caused by nanites invading people's bodies? Hmm?

Dr. Rodney McKay: What?
Dr. Carson Beckett: What?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, it's that look. That's the same look I get when I have a brilliant idea.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: How would you know how you looked?
Dr. Rodney McKay: 'Cause it's happened more than once in front of a mirror, okay?


"Stargate: Atlantis: Sunday (#3.17)" (2007)
Carson Beckett M. D.: Oh... wait a sec. Do you have a hot date?
Elizabeth Weir, Ph. D.: What? How did you know that?
Carson Beckett M. D.: I was joking, but I was right. Who is it?

Carson Beckett M. D.: Rodney and I are heading to the mainland to catch a fish that seems to be just like a trout. Care to join us? Sport of kings.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I thought horse racing was the sport of kings?
Carson Beckett M. D.: For the boring kings, maybe.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Common Ground (#3.7)" (2006)
Dr. Rodney McKay: All right, people, let's do this one by the numbers. We get in, we get our man, we get out. Stay sharp and stay alive.
Dr. Carson Beckett: What are you on about?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, just things Sheppard would say, so I thought I would...
Teyla Emmagan: Well said, Rodney.
Ronon Dex: Just stay behind me.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Right.

Dr. Rodney McKay: [Rodney fires his gun and everyone comes running] Oh...
Dr. Carson Beckett: Rodney!
Dr. Rodney McKay: I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I just - you know, I reacted.
Teyla Emmagan: What is it?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Um... a mouse. A really big one, though. More of a rat, really. Possibly rabid.
Dr. Carson Beckett: This isn't the place, is it?
Teyla Emmagan: I do not believe so.
Ronon Dex: No. Sheppard wasn't here.
Dr. Rodney McKay: And we've just wasted two and a half hours.
Ronon Dex: Let's move out!
Dr. Rodney McKay: And a mouse.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Misbegotten (#3.2)" (2006)
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Carson?
Dr. Carson Beckett: [Sitting in Atlantis' control chair] Elizabeth?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: How are you doing?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Oh, just peachy, thanks. You?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: I'm sorry to put you in this position, but you're the only person, besides Colonel Sheppard and General O'Neill, who've actually fired a drone from that chair.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Ironically, they're the two people I nearly killed when I did that.

Dr. Carson Beckett: Look! They don't tell me this sort of thing, I'm just a doctor. Maybe you shouldn't have been so quick to kill Lieutenant Morrison.
Michael Kenmore: I don't like to question military men. They're like our own wraith warriors. Unimaginative, rigid thought patterns... but you, on the other hand, are trained to have an open mind. And you have a strong sense of empathy toward others.
Dr. Carson Beckett: It's not as strong as it used to be, believe me.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Inferno (#2.19)" (2006)
Dr. Rodney McKay: It's plenty of time to open a hyperspace window.
[pause]
Dr. Rodney McKay: What? That's my plan. Didn't I tell you about that?
Dr. Carson Beckett: No.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: No, you didn't.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, you were too busy running around looking for people.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Well, tell us the damn plan.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Fixing the sublight engines was impossible in the amount of time we had left, they were just too badly damaged, but I devised a sort of a patch that in effect diverts auxiliary power to the hyperdrive. Only enough for a fraction of a second mind you.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: That won't get us very far.
Dr. Rodney McKay: We don't need to go far. Any old orbit will do.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: And then what?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, then Norina and I were planning a small dinner for us all, nothing fancy...
Norina: Rodney.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, what does he mean then what? Then we won't die horribly.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: So your plan is to not blow a hole in the hangar but to sit here and wait for this cataclysmic eruption to take place.
Dr. Rodney McKay: With the shields and inertial dampeners at full strength, yes.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I think I may be missing something. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when the volcano erupts, don't we as well?
Dr. Rodney McKay: That's the plan.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: That's the plan?
Dr. Rodney McKay: That's the plan!
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: That plan sucks!
Dr. Carson Beckett: Aye!
Dr. Rodney McKay: This ship will be ejected along with the magma and steam several thousand feet into the air.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: The ship can survive that?
Dr. Rodney McKay: For exactly 4.1 seconds, yes. Look, the hangar should disintegrate. The moment we're clear, we open a brief hyperspace window, jump to space before the explosion depletes our shields and incinerates us, hmm?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: [Nervously] OK.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What?
Dr. Carson Beckett: Very clever, Rodney.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well don't thank me until it works... which it probably won't.


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Eye (#1.10)" (2004)
Dr. Carson Beckett: The dots don't tell us much about who's who. How do we know which one's the Major?
Lt. Aiden Ford: He'll be the dot taking out the other dots.

Dr. Carson Beckett: I'm a medical doctor, not a magician!


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Return: Part 2 (#3.11)" (2006)
Major General Jack O'Neill: [to Sheppard, after being told who has come to rescue him] Dr. Beckett, is it? Well I'm comforted.
Dr. Carson Beckett: [whispering] What's that supposed to mean?

Major General Jack O'Neill: Please, don't be offended as I express my surprise that Landry would send you on a mission like this.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Well, sir, General Landry didn't sanction this mission.
Major General Jack O'Neill: So, am I to assume you are not surrounded by heavily armed SG teams and young strapping marines?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: You've got Colonel Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla, McKay, myself and Dr Beckett.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Ooh! Dr Beckett, is it? Well, I'm comforted.
Dr. Carson Beckett: What's that supposed to mean?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: We've got a plan, sir. A good one.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Yes, Colonel, I'm sure you do. But in the unlikely event you don't fail miserably, you're fired.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Yes, sir. Look forward to that.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Tao of Rodney (#3.14)" (2006)
Dr. Carson Beckett: Alright. Like I said, as far as I can tell, he's as healthy as a horse. I'm clearing you for active duty.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Are you insane? Look, I need to be put under guard. Who knows what I could become?
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: What are the chances it could make him more pleasant?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, thank you!
Lt... Colonel John Sheppard: I'll keep an eye on him.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Thank you!
Dr. Rodney McKay: Can you still see me?

Lt... Colonel John Sheppard: We could also be dealing with a super-appetite, although it's hard to tell because he ate so much before.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Very funny.
Dr. Carson Beckett: My God! He's eatin' again!
Dr. Rodney McKay: I have a very active metabolism.


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Tower (#2.15)" (2005)
Dr. Rodney McKay: If I can find the ZPM, then we can shut these people down whenever we want. Without the Drone Chair, they're just a bunch of primitive thugs with axes and knives.
Dr. Carson Beckett: Axes and knives can cause damage, Rodney!
Dr. Rodney McKay: You know what I mean.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Epiphany (#2.12)" (2005)
Dr. Carson Beckett: So part of his body is experiencing time at a different pace than the other? Who knows what that could do to him?
Dr. Rodney McKay: I have no idea but I suspect he could use a doctor.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: So you don't even know if he's alive?
Dr. Rodney McKay: The most time-efficient approach was to assume that he's alive but stranded.
Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Then why not assume that he can make his own way back through the portal?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Because Colonel Shepppard would have already had hours to try to make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining the situation to Conan and Xena.


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Siege: Part 2 (#1.19)" (2005)
Dr. Carson Beckett: You wanted to see me Rodney?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yes yes. I need something to keep me awake.
Dr. Radek Zelenka: Yeah, me too.
Dr. Carson Beckett: I've already given you something.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [irritated] Yeah? Well we're building nuclear bombs here. Staying awake is sort of a prerequisite.


"Stargate: Atlantis: The Hive (#2.11)" (2005)
Carson Beckett M. D.: [treating McKay for his enzyme addiction] I feel not unlike the priest in The Exorcist.