Quotes for
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell (Character)
from "Stargate SG-1" (1997)

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"Stargate SG-1: Insiders (#10.4)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What do you think, sir?
Vala Mal Doran: I say we give it a go.
Major General Hank Landry: Remind me to give you a primer on the meaning of the word 'sir.'

Major General Hank Landry: Are you sure you want to bring her along on this one?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Jackson says she'll be useful. Now's her chance to prove it.
Major General Hank Landry: But Dr. Jackson isn't here, and it seems to me, he's the only one she ever listens to.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah. Some of the time.

Major General Hank Landry: You don't think you can control her?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, I know I can't control her, but that's pretty much par for the course. Sir... Carter and I are the same rank, Teal'c's an alien, Jackson's a civilian. I learned a long time ago I don't control anything.
Major General Hank Landry: Who does?

Captain: It's not a competition.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Says you.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Chief, got a full count. Two strikes, three Ba'als.
Chief Mst Sgt. Walter Harriman: [chuckles] That's-that's clever, sir.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [to Ba'al] Right now, you do not strike me as someone who could intimidate a 10-year-old out of his lunch money, much less run an interstellar empire.

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Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008) (V)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [upon sitting in the Odyssey command chair] Weapons to maximum.
Major Marks: Sir?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: It's a joke Marks, make it go.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: It's kind of weird not having a big bad guy to fight anymore.
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter: Yeah, that's how we felt when we defeated the Goa'uld. And The Replicators. The first time...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well Jackson and Vala took care of that.
Vala Mal Doran: That whole Ori thing was not our fault!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Just take the blame. You get used to it.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [to Marrick, who is controlled by replicators] You know, I think we just got off on the wrong foot.
[Marrick throws him across the room]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh who am I kidding? I knew you were an asshole the moment we met!

[final lines]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Walter, hit it!

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [Mitchell shoots what he thinks is the only Replicator] All personnel, this is Colonel Mitchell. Please report I got it.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [suddenly hears more coming around the corner] Oh shit!

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Hey kids, guess what?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [after a pause, sounds of shooting in background] We are under fire.

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"Stargate SG-1: The Pegasus Project (#10.3)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Listen, if McKay gives you a hard time, just...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Shoot him.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Also, he's mortally allergic to citrus.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Really?
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: [pulls out a lemon] I keep one with me at all times. It's just a comfort to know... it's there.
[tosses it to Cameron]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's good intel, thanks.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Yeah.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [laughs] That's a - that's a - that's a good one. We're actually, uh, we're-we're quite close.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Is that thing cool or what?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hmm.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: The black hole.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What you're looking at is called the accretion disk. It's matter trapped in the gravity well. You can't actually *see* the black hole itself.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Which is cool.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Where's McKay?
Dr. Rodney McKay: I'm here. One of your crew wouldn't let me finish my sandwich in the corridor.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, the nerve of that crewman, huh?

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You know, Sam, this is not the Rodney McKay I heard stories about.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I know.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What stories? What have you heard?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well, for starters, that you didn't know the meaning of the word 'impossible'.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, I certainly know the meaning...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: And that under threat of impending death, you could work miracles.
Dr. Rodney McKay: I suppose Sheppard told you that?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yes, he did.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yes, well it's all true. But I'm not under the threat of impending death, and I don't have a ...
[Cameron threatens him with a lemon]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Not yet. Keep it up.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well... I'll see what I can come up with then.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well, it's like my grandma used to say, if at first you don't succeed...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Try a larger thermonuclear reaction?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Her words exactly.

---

"Stargate SG-1: Avalon: Part 1 (#9.1)" (2005)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: General O'Neill gave me the choice of any posting I wanted. I chose SG-1. That meant Colonel Carter, Teal'c and yourself, not two letters a dash and a number.

[Mitchell is having trouble getting SG-1 back together]
Vala Mal Doran: Try playing hard-to-get.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, look who's talkin'.

Vala Mal Doran: Oh, now this brings back memories.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: How's that?
Vala Mal Doran: Isn't this where I beat you up?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [defensively] No.
Vala Mal Doran: No, I'm pretty sure that right there is where I crushed your...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Alright! Excuse me, kids.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Ladies first.
Vala Mal Doran: [to Daniel] Well, then after you.

---

"Stargate SG-1: The Fourth Horseman: Part 2 (#9.11)" (2006)

Dr. Daniel Jackson: That warm, fuzzy feeling you're experiencing may be the effects of a device that's inhibiting your ability to concentrate and focus your powers.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Symptoms may include dizziness, irritability...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nausea.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Mild nausea, and a condition known as hotdog fingers.

Damaris: It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this, the Ori are all-seeing. They are already aware of this affront to their eminence, and shall strike down those who dare to defy them.
[pause]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Nothing yet. You?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Drawin' a blank. A little thirsty.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That doesn't count.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, it doesn't.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: It's a Norwegian cheese, I think. Spelled with a "G" or a "J", maybe both. Jgetost, Gjetost, something like that. So then, what you do is you dice up the cheese, you toss it in with egg whites, then you chop up some avocado, throw it all together... whoa, daddy! You've got yourself a wicked omelet. General! We were just exchanging recipes.
Major General Hank Landry: I heard. Has he offered up anything?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, sir. The man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.

Damaris: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No. You're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen.

---

"Stargate SG-1: Avalon: Part 2 (#9.2)" (2005)

Dr. Daniel Jackson: You done this before?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Uh, fight a knight in armor, no, can't say that I have.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, you're doin' good.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well, that figures. Room full of gold and jewels, and Dr. Daniel Jackson finds the one book.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the budget? Isn't so we can go out and meet new races, gather advanced technology, possibly learn about ourselves in the process?
Vala Mal Doran: Oh, come on. You do it to meet women.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: She has a point, sir.
Major General Hank Landry: I've been thinking I need to get out on an off-world mission or two.

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"Stargate SG-1: Unending (#10.20)" (2007)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: When I said that I wanted to get the team back together, work with you guys, learn from ya... I did not mean every waking moment for the next 50 years.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You said that yesterday.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [blank stare] I did?
Teal'c: [staring at his food] And the day before.
Vala Mal Doran: And the day before that.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh... sorry. I'll just... shut up now.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: See, what we need, is we need Superman to fly around the ship really, really fast.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh, if you only knew how ridiculous that was.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, it only sounds ridiculous till you hear yourself say, "I am trapped on a spaceship stuck in a time-dilation field."

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Just another routine trip to save the world sir.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran, Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Indeed.

---

"Stargate SG-1: Crusade (#9.19)" (2006)

Teal'c: [Referring to Vala's mysterious prenancy] You have been impregnated without copulation.
Vala Malduran: Yes, and I'm absolutely terrified. Have any of you ever heard of anything like it?
Cameron Mitchell: [after everyone pauses] Well, there's one.
Teal'c: Darth Vader.
Vala Malduran: Really?
Teal'c: Hmm.
Vala Malduran: How did that turn out?
Cameron Mitchell: Actually, I was thinking of King Arthur.

Vala Malduran: By the looks on your faces, I can see you're not surprised I had more in common with the village harlot than I did with any of the ladies of the local knitting circle.
Cameron Mitchell: Don't know what you're talking about.

Cameron Mitchell: So it's just like my grandma used to say, "No point goin' to confession if you ain't got nothin' to confess."

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"Stargate SG-1: The Quest: Part 2 (#10.11)" (2007)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You don't get fancy mind powers unless there's been major redecorating going on inside your skull.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [to Vala] Well now you know the hard part about being part of this team is not risking your own life. It's watching your friends take chances with theirs. Congratulations. Now you really are one of us.

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"Stargate SG-1: The Scourge (#9.17)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You know what? Sit here. You cover our six. But stay alert. You'll hear the bugs coming, but the tree ferrets give no warning.
French Representative LaPierre: Tree ferrets?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, nasty buggers. Swoop down and separate a man's head from his torso before he can blink.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Sir, I don't mean to gripe...
Major General Hank Landry: Permission to gripe granted.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We're being put on babysitting duty?
Major General Hank Landry: Don't underestimate the importance of this mission. This is the IOA. These people carry a lot of influence with the Stargate Program. How it's run, how it's funded. You should feel honored. Just, uh, don't keep 'em up past ten. And remember to read 'em a bedtime story before tucking them in for the night.

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"Stargate SG-1: Flesh and Blood (#10.1)" (2006)

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Thank you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You're welcome. Yeah, I was gonna say, "no sweat," but, there was definitely sweat involved. In Kvasir's case, I think it was perspiration.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I'm not saying we should give up. I'll fight to my dying breath. I just think we need a new plan. A damn good one.

---

"Stargate SG-1: Prototype (#9.9)" (2005)

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait. Wait!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What? I was lookin' for the light switch.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: New guy!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Hey, you touched that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I-I know how to read that.

Sam Carter: A normal human brain, you or I, say, should show roughly five to ten percent coverage.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Me being five, you being ten

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"Stargate SG-1: Memento Mori (#10.8)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [shirtless and handcuffed to the bed, surrounded by the junk food] This, uh... isn't what it looks like.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Nothin'. I just think it's funny how you're always losing your pants.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I'm not always losing my pants. It's happened twice. Twice is not always.

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"Stargate SG-1: Ripple Effect (#9.13)" (2006)

Cameron Mitchell: [softly] You know, I read all the mission reports on the Asgard. They're not what I expected.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: What were you expecting?
Cameron Mitchell: [glancing at Kvasir] Well, pants for one.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: The theory holds that anything that can happen, will happen. If not in this reality, than in another.
Cameron Mitchell: So you're saying that somewhere in an alternate universe, I got to second base with Amy Vandenberg?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [annoyed] Theoretically, yes.

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"Stargate SG-1: Bounty (#10.15)" (2007)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Intel looks good. We got ourselves a space train full of evil Orville Redenbacher.

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"Stargate SG-1: Line in the Sand (#10.12)" (2007)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We're gonna try a little disappearing act, here. Please remember to keep your arms and legs inside the village at all times until we come to a complete and final stop.
[the villagers look confused]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Blank stares work, too.

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"Stargate SG-1: Uninvited (#10.5)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: A lot of activity out here, sir.
Major General Hank Landry: I told you, the last thing we need is for this place to turn into the O.K. Corral.
[shots fired in the distance]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Or a vice-presidential bird hunt.

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"Stargate SG-1: The Fourth Horseman: Part 1 (#9.10)" (2005)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [laughing] Relax Jackson, I spent two weeks with these guys. You've got nothing to worry about.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, considering what happened the last time we were here, you'll forgive me if I'm a little cautious.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We'll be fine.
[the group are being ambushed and captured by Jaffa]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [blade to throat] We still fine?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, we're fine.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Good, just checking.

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"Stargate SG-1: Arthur's Mantle (#9.18)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That was alternate reality, this is alternate dimension. Hell, all I need is a good time travel adventure and I've scored the SG-1 trifecta.

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"Stargate SG-1: 200 (#10.6)" (2006)

[in the Farscape sequence]
Vala Mal Doran: [as Aeryn Sun] Call me fahrbot, but they're gonna have our mivonks on a platter if we don't Starburst the draz out of here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [as Crichton] The cluster's been damaged. We're not goin' anywhere.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Chiana] Oh, dren.
Teal'c PI Announcer: [as Ka D'Argo] Hezmana!
Vala Mal Doran: [as Aeryn Sun] Frell.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [as Stark] Son of a hasmot!
Asgard: [as Dominar Rygel XVI] Yotz!

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"Stargate SG-1: Origin (#9.3)" (2005)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well, I suppose after you've saved the world seven or eight times.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Who's counting, huh?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Teal'c. Actually, he mentions it quite often.

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"Stargate SG-1: Family Ties (#10.18)" (2007)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So, what's the deal with the accent, or in your father's case, the lack thereof?
Vala Mal Doran: Well, the accent, like most of my other good qualities, I got from my mother, my charm, my wit, my good looks.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What'd you get from your dad?
Vala Mal Doran: Some minor food allergies.

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"Stargate SG-1: The Ties That Bind (#9.4)" (2005)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [to an ugly alien] So, who do you like in the NFL this year? You kinda strike me as a Raiders fan.

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"Stargate SG-1: Ex Deus Machina (#9.7)" (2005)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [talking about a firefight in an office] Witnesses?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: One. Some guy who was working overtime, spent most of the firefight under his desk, but was able to provide the descriptions of three individuals: big, tattooed, chain mail pants.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So it's either our Jaffa, or KISS is back on tour.

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"Stargate SG-1: Counterstrike (#10.7)" (2006)

Teal'c: I am ashamed that my brothers have utilized these methods.
Cameron Mitchell: They're desperate.
Teal'c: There is no honor. Freedom without honor is meaningless.

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"Stargate SG-1: Morpheus (#10.2)" (2006)

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Unfortunately, what we didn't get were any corresponding gate addresses, and the process of going through that library page by page looking for clues could have potentially taken years. So I knew we were gonna have to narrow the search parameters a little. That's when it hit me. Sir Gawain.
Cameron Mitchell: Wasn't he one of the knights who says "Ni"?

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"Stargate SG-1: Bad Guys (#10.16)" (2007)

Vala Mal Doran: There's a 70 percent chance that if we dial manually we'll be able to establish a connection and a 50 percent chance that the bomb will just go off.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's 120 percent.
Vala Mal Doran: Well, there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole *and* it blows up.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [over radio] Jackson, did you catch any of that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [over radio] Yeah, 100 percent chance we should have brought someone that knows what they're doing.

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"Stargate SG-1: Stronghold (#9.14)" (2006)

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: How'd you resist the brainwashing? I figure I might be in that situation some day, and I don't recon I'm going through the Rite of M'al Sharran.
Teal'c: To resist the influence of others, knowledge of ones self is most important.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Right. Thanks.
[Teal'c leaves]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I'm workin' on it.

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