Teal'c
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Quotes for
Teal'c (Character)
from "Stargate SG-1" (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Stargate SG-1: The Scourge (#9.17)" (2006)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I'm just a glass half full kinda guy. We found the cure to the Prior's plague and we got it out to the planets that needed it.
Teal'c: And it has been some time since the last reported outbreak.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's right, so I'm chalking that one up to the win column.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Look, all I'm saying is let's just not get carried away. Yes we stopped them this time but you can be damn sure they're already thinking up some other means of spreading fear and destruction through this galaxy.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, that's why we call 'em the bad guys.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And by the looks of things the next one's going to be something big. Priors are already starting to step up the rhetoric with all this talk of doomsday when all shall witness the final battle between the light and darkness.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's what they said about Tyson-Holyfield. There's always a rematch.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's no question that these bugs were the Priors' follow up to the virus.
Teal'c: And it appears that they were designed to circumvent any attempt to forestall their destructive nature.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Deny them crops and their physiology adapts to an alternate food source.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, us.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: All those years you were fighting the Goa'uld, did you ever just step back and say "sooner or later our luck's going to run out and we're gonna get our asses kicked"?
Teal'c: Never.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Never, not once? Even though you were vastly outnumbered fighting an opponent with superior technology and firepower.
Teal'c: They may have had the superior forces and resources but we possessed something far greater.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Which was?
Teal'c: A just cause. I had no doubt the Goa'uld would be defeated. Perhaps not in my lifetime but I knew eventually they would fall and I have no doubt the same fate awaits the Ori.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You see that's what I like about you, you're always positive. Hell, you've probably already passed this bug situation and are thinking about what movie you want to watch tomorrow night.
Teal'c: I was considering "Old School".

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I'm telling you, it's time you got your own place.
Teal'c: I endeavoured to establish a life off-base last year; I even went so far as to acquire my own apartment. Unfortunately, it did not work out.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, you got framed for murder but you can't let one bad experience put you off. Hell the first time I moved out, I got next door to a guy who practised drum solos all night long. When we get back, I'm going to help you find your own place.
Teal'c: That will be unnecessary.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Dude, what are friends for?
Teal'c: For listening when they are told that will be unnecessary.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are we still doing movie night?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yeah, why not?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I've already picked something out.
Teal'c: Old School.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Starship Troopers.
Teal'c: Is it humorous?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Is it ever.


"Stargate SG-1: Fragile Balance (#7.3)" (2003)
Major General George Hammond: Would anyone care to speculate how a boy could be aware of our most classified information?
Major Samantha Carter: Well, sir, it-it could be him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: There is a physical resemblance.
Major General George Hammond: But he can't be more than 15 years old. Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has somehow regressed more than 30 years overnight?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Stranger things have happened.
Teal'c: Name but one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, there was the time he got really old; the time he became a caveman; the time we all swapped bodies...

Young Jack O'Neill: Had your Tretonin yet this morning?
Teal'c: [turning to the others] How could this child possess such knowledge?

Teal'c: Do you not experience increased health and vitality?
Young Jack O'Neill: My *vitality* was just fine, thank you.

Teal'c: [looking in O'Neill's refrigerator] Are you conducting some sort of scientific experiment, O'Neill?
Young Jack O'Neill: Hey, come one, that salsa's still good.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: There's no easy way to tell you this, so... Sam's just gonna come out and say it.
Major Samantha Carter: Well, sir, as you know, the Asgard depend on a cloning technology...
Young Jack O'Neill: Oh, for cryin' out loud!
Teal'c: You have been cloned, O'Neill.
Young Jack O'Neill: [turning to face them] What!


"Stargate SG-1: Tangent (#4.12)" (2000)
General Vidrine: How does she fly, son?
Teal'c: The vehicle performed within expected parameters.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Woohoo!
[pause]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Sorry, sir. I couldn't help but get caught up in Teal'c's enthusiasm.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Uh, Teal'c. On our "6", is that what I think it is?
Teal'c: If you think it is Earth, yes.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: It's shrinking.
Teal'c: Its size remains constant. Rather, it is we who are moving away at extreme velocity.

Teal'c: There is little to say, O'Neill. We have fought and won many battles together. It has been an honor to serve by your side. We are brothers.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Wow. That's, uh...
Teal'c: Is there anything you wish to say, O'Neill?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What could I possibly say after that? Back at ya.

Teal'c: If we are to die, we die well.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: We could do better.


"Stargate SG-1: Urgo (#3.16)" (2000)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wow, this coffee's great!
Samantha Carter: I was just thinking that.
Jack O'Neill: Yeah, is that cinnamon?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's, uh, it's chicory
Jack O'Neill: [contemplative] Hm, chicory.
[Teal'c unscrews the lid from the coffee pot and drinks the contents]
Samantha Carter: Teal'c?
[He continues to drink as everyone looks, then finishes]
Jack O'Neill: Isn't that hot?
Teal'c: Extremely.
[the others look shocked]
General George S. Hammond: Just stay on the base. We're going to need to keep and eye on you for the time being.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I feel fine.
Teal'c: As do I, Daniel Jackson.
General George S. Hammond: For someone who just drank a half gallon of steaming hot coffee?
Jack O'Neill: Right.

Teal'c: Appearances may be deceiving.
Jack O'Neill: One man's ceiling is another man's floor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell.
Jack O'Neill: Never run with... scissors?

Samantha Carter: Well, he can't actually make us do anything we don't want to, sir.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Then why did I have to treat your arm for a burn? Didn't you say Urgo was responsible?
Urgo: I didn't mean to!
Samantha Carter, Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson: He didn't mean to.
Teal'c: It was not his intention.


"Stargate SG-1: Window of Opportunity (#4.6)" (2000)
Teal'c: Events do appear to be repeating themselves.
Daniel Jackson: Since when?
Jack O'Neill: Since we went to P4X-639.
Major Samantha Carter: We haven't been to P4X-639.
Jack O'Neill: Yes we have.
[to Daniel]
Jack O'Neill: "No we haven't." That's what you were gonna say.
Daniel Jackson: Of course that's what I was gonna say.
Jack O'Neill: Okay, bad example.

Jack O'Neill: You know the worst part about this? Every time we loop Daniel asks me a question, and I wasn't listening the first time.
Teal'c: You're not the only one to suffer some discomfort, O'Neill.
[loop resets; cut to Teal'c getting hit by a door]

[Teal'c and Jack are playing golf through an active Stargate]
Jack O'Neill: How far away is Alaris anyway?
Teal'c: Several billion miles, O'Neill.
Jack O'Neill: That's gotta be a record.
[Jack swings again]


"Stargate SG-1: Message in a Bottle (#2.7)" (1998)
Teal'c: The symbiote I carry appears to protect me.
Jack O'Neill: Way to go, Junior!

Jack O'Neill: Teal'c, you don't have to stick around.
Teal'c: Undomesticated equines could not remove me.
Jack O'Neill: Wild horses, Teal'c.

Samantha Carter: You think it might be a booby trap?
Teal'c: Booby?


"Stargate SG-1: Children of the Gods (#1.1)" (1997)
Teal'c: What is this?
Jack O'Neill: It's a watch.
Teal'c: This is not Goa'uld technology. Where are you from?
Jack O'Neill: Earth. Chicago, if you wanna be specific.
Teal'c: Your words mean nothing. Where are you from?
Daniel Jackson: Ah, excuse me.
[Daniel draws the gate symbol representing Earth in the dirt]
Daniel Jackson: This is where we're from.
[Teal'c looks at it and then leaves the room]

[Teal'c has just helped SG-1 and prisoners escape from the Gou'ald]
Jack O'Neill: Hey, come on!
Teal'c: I have nowhere to go.
Jack O'Neill: For this, you can stay at my place. Let's go.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I can save these people. Help me! Help me.
Teal'c: Many have said that. But you are the first I believe could do it.


"Stargate SG-1: Into the Fire (#3.1)" (1999)
[Bra'tac, Teal'c and General Hammond are looking for, and find, an "old style" death glider]
Teal'c: There is an old Jaffa saying, General Hammond: They do not build them as they once did.

Teal'c: Fire!
Major General George Hammond: [in full Texas drawl] Yeeee Haaaa!

Teal'c: False god. Dead false god.


"Stargate SG-1: Thor's Hammer (#1.9)" (1997)
Teal'c: The old stories say Unas had great regenerative powers. But those are tales told to frighten children. It is a myth.
Jack O'Neill: Ah.
Teal'c: It was dead.
Jack O'Neill: That's good.
Teal'c: I believe.
Jack O'Neill: You believe?
Teal'c: I am certain.
Jack O'Neill: Positive?
Teal'c: I am.
Jack O'Neill: Just a myth.
Teal'c: A myth.
Jack O'Neill: Good.

Teal'c: Are you considering the same tactic as I?
Jack O'Neill: Teal'c, the clichè is "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" And the answer's yes.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Do you know what this means?
Jack O'Neill: It's the only way out of here, Daniel.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: But what this thing can do for Sha're and Skaara...
Jack O'Neill: Teal'c's here now.
Teal'c: And here I will remain. I was with those who took the ones you love.
Jack O'Neill: No. You're part of this family now. We're not leaving you behind.


"Stargate SG-1: 200 (#10.6)" (2006)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Who makes a movie out of a series that only lasted three episodes?
Teal'c: It allegedly performed well on DVD.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [re: the number of mission files] No, I'm pretty sure it's 1,263. Pretty sure I've read all the files recently.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Actually, you haven't read 30185.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: 30185. What's that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We can't tell you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What do you mean, you can't tell me? I have the highest security clearance known to mankind. What is 30185?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We were sworn to secrecy.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Why even mention it to me if you're not gonna tell me what it is?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sorry.
Vala Mal Doran: Can you tell me?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh yeah, we can tell you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, it has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well that can't have anything to do with me. I wasn't born until a year later!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, it was *nine months* before he was born.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [taken aback] What?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You hafta remember, it was the sixties.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: C'mon. You have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Jack. O'Neill?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you thought you weren't going to get in? How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
Vala Mal Doran: [Giggles] Wait, are you saying that Jack O'Neill is...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: -my daddy?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's all stating to make sense now, isn't it?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, I'm being punk'd, aren't I?

Major General Jack O'Neill: I can sneak around all I want, totally undetected. I give us the element of surprise. The bottom line is, I can do more for this planet invisible than I ever could as my own sweet salient self.
Teal'c: I assume I am staring at you stoically.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Not buying it, eh?
Teal'c: No. You are most transparent, O'Neill.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Oh, I get it. Good one.
Teal'c: I can see right through you.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Don't push it.


"Stargate SG-1: The Other Side (#4.2)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You've got that look.
Teal'c: To which look are you referring, O'Neill?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The one that says, "I have misgivings about this mission, but deep down I know we're doing the right thing"?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No, the other one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Their whole world is in flames, and we're offering gasoline. How is that help?
Teal'c: We are in fact offering water.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Thank you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I was speaking metaphorically.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Well, stop it. It's not fair to Teal'c.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: So what's your impression of Alar?
Teal'c: That he is concealing something.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Like what?
Teal'c: I am unsure. He is concealing it.


"Stargate SG-1: Within the Serpent's Grasp (#1.21)" (1998)
Teal'c: If the coordinates are for a Goa'uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche, the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful.
Jack O'Neill: Surgical attack, Teal'c. It's called a surgical attack.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Teal'c, what is this?
Teal'c: It is a Goa'uld long range visual communication device. Somewhat like your television, only much further advanced.
Jack O'Neill: Think it gets Showtime?

[the order has been give to drop out of hyperspace]
Teal'c: O'Neill, prepare yourself for...
[O'Neill flies forward and hits his head]
Teal'c: Extreme deceleration.


Stargate: Continuum (2008) (V)
Teal'c: [Ba'al has just announced he may have a means of escaping. Teal'c eyes him carefully] He lies.
Major General Jack O'Neill: He does that you know.

Teal'c: There can be no doubt of your crimes.
Ba'al: What I mean is I'm not the last of the Goa'auld System Lords. Though I am the last of the clones. There were so many of us it's difficult to be certain.
Major General Jack O'Neill: Mitchell?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We tracked them all down sir. This is the last one.
Major General Jack O'Neill: You sure?
[Mitchell stands there certain of himself]
Major General Jack O'Neill: That is why we've come all this way. Why we had to endure all that singing. Get rid of the last bad guy, then there's... cake.

Teal'c: This device will power the Chaapa'ai.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I like that. No hesitation.


"Stargate SG-1: Off the Grid (#9.16)" (2006)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We're supposed to stay under the radar.
Teal'c: I doubt if this world possesses such technology.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I'm gonna hit the shower.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm gonna find a doctor.
Teal'c: We are indeed suitably employed
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, it was a good day.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think I'm as close as you are!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Come on! You're miles away.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Teal'c, which one of us is closer?
Teal'c: I believe the three of you to be equidistant.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Hey!


"Stargate SG-1: The Broca Divide (#1.4)" (1997)
Dr. Janet Fraiser: So, the question is, why haven't you and Mr. Teal'c come down with the symptoms?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um, Mr. Teal'c... Teal'c's symbiote probably protects him.
Teal'c: That would be likely.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: W-What about you, Dr. Jackson?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, that beats me. You're the doctor, Doctor. Ah, maybe I have a natural immunity.
Teal'c: Perhaps you will develop symptoms later.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Thank you for the moral support.

Jack O'Neill: Lucy, I'm home!
Teal'c: I am not Lucy!

Jack O'Neill: I'm back to bein' myself. Just open up.
Teal'c: I cannot be certain you are back to being yourself. You referred to me as "Lucy".


"Stargate SG-1: Ripple Effect (#9.13)" (2006)
Alternate Daniel Jackson: [Alternate Teal'c pushes Mitchell into a bulkhead, knocking him out] Wouldn't it have been easier to zat him?
Alternate Teal'c: Easier, yes. But far less gratifying.
Alternate Cameron Mitchell: Did he just insult me?

Teal'c: Given the dangers we may face, it was decided that we would proceed alone.
Alternate Cameron Mitchell: So if this plan goes FUBAR, we're the only ones to go down with the ship?
[Mitchell indicates that he is right]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [wryly] Well, there's plenty more where we came from, right?

Cameron Mitchell: Now, let me get this straight. We figured that you guys would try to escape, and we set this trap for you. Not realizing that you'd figure out that we'd figure you out, and you set your own.
[Long pause]
Teal'c: Indeed.


"Stargate SG-1: The Quest: Part 2 (#10.11)" (2007)
Ba'al: Merlin's little trick with my vocal chords expired at the same moment he did.
Teal'c: Yet another reason to mourn his passing.

Ba'al: You didn't think that just by calling out its name, you'd suddenly be able to control it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't know. Name magic is common in most mythologies. To know something's secret name is to steal its power.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So what are we supposed to do, just start guessing?
Vala Mal Doran: Daryl the dragon.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: How about Smokey?
Teal'c: Perhaps Puff?


"Stargate SG-1: The Curse (#4.13)" (2000)
[O'Neill and Teal'c are fishing at O'Neill's cabin]
Teal'c: There appears to be no fish here, O'Neill.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: T, it's not about the actual fish, themselves. Fish are not important in this context. It's about fish-ing, the act of fishing itself.
Teal'c: I see.
[cell phone rings]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You didn't?
Teal'c: By request of General Hammond.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [mutters] No way.
[Teal'c slaps a mosquito as he answers phone shouting]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What?
[calmer]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yes Daniel, he's right here. Please hold.
[hands the phone to Teal'c]
Teal'c: Daniel Jackson. We have caught nothing. We are fishing.

[Daniel asks for a translation over the phone]
Teal'c: "Banished to oblivion."
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right. Okay, uh, thank you.
Teal'c: If you require assistance, I would be more than happy to return to the SGC.
[O'Neill looks annoyed]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, thanks. I-I think I can take it from here.
Teal'c: Are you certain?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Give me that!
[takes the phone]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Goodbye, Daniel.
[he hangs up, removes the battery and throws it away]


"Stargate SG-1: Exodus (#4.22)" (2001)
Teal'c: And yet, knowing what Apophis did to Sha're, would you not trade it all for the opportunity to crush the life from his throat with your bare hands?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I'd be lying to you if I said I'd never thought about it but that doesn't mean I'd do it, given a more rational option.

Teal'c: The propulsion system and communication array have been damaged beyond repair.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Ah, that's good. Because according to my calculations we are roughly in the middle of nowhere. Give or take.


"Stargate SG-1: One False Step (#2.19)" (1999)
Daniel: Can you do me a favor? Could you keep an eye on this plant thing for me?
Teal'c: I will keep both of my eyes on it, Daniel Jackson.

Teal'c: Since it is their planet, is it not we who are the aliens?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, the word alien refers to anything characteristic of a very different place or culture, anything really strange relative from our own perspective.
Jack O'Neill: Think we call you alien because you're from Chu'lak? Ha.


"Stargate SG-1: The Changeling (#6.19)" (2003)
Major Samantha Carter: Why don't you try a glass of warm milk?
Teal'c: I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature.

Teal'c: I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature.


"Stargate SG-1: Talion (#10.17)" (2007)
Teal'c: Ten seconds.
Bak'al: Where are you going?
Teal'c: I am leaving. You are about to explode.

Master Bra'tac: I would not like to be the one who opposes you.
Teal'c: I have learned from the best, old friend.
Master Bra'tac: I have not said this to you before, and I should have. You are the son I never had. I could not be more proud.


"Stargate SG-1: Avatar (#8.6)" (2004)
Teal'c: We have won.
Jack O'Neill: Well, that's what we do.

Dr. Bill Lee: We've been working on this chair for two years to make it a viable virtual reality training tool for SGC personnel.
Teal'c: You have failed.
Jack O'Neill: He's nothing if not honest.
Dr. Bill Lee: Well, I mean - I mean, maybe we could, er, it could use a little more work but...
Jack O'Neill: Can you make it harder... more difficult?
Dr. Bill Lee: Well, I mean, we can input, uh, the parameters for different scenarios, but the vast majority of the simulation array comes from the mind of the user. It- The programming is actually built by interfacing memories from the individual's consciousness with the chair's matrix.
Jack O'Neill: Carter, all I heard was "Matrix", and I found those films *quite* confusing.


"Stargate SG-1: Point of No Return (#4.11)" (2000)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I hope it's important. I was right in the middle of translating that cuneiform tablet we found on P3L-255.
Major Samantha Carter: I still have to finish recalibrating MALP 3K sensors for long-term reconnaissance on P5X-3D7.
Teal'c: I was unable to complete my Kel no'reem.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I was just about to do something important.

Martin Lloyd: They put an implant in my head. I always thought they were sending me signals.
Teal'c: To whom are you referring?
Martin Lloyd: You know, "Them"? The secret government?
[waits for them to understand, but they don't]
Martin Lloyd: The-the New World Order? Black helicopters, underground basses? Don't you guys read the papers?


"Stargate SG-1: Thor's Chariot (#2.6)" (1998)
Teal'c: The destruction of the hammer device to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible.
Jack O'Neill: General, I gave the order.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Ph.D.: And I fired the staff at the machine.
Samantha Carter: And I... was there.

Teal'c: Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up.


"Stargate SG-1: Ascension (#5.3)" (2001)
Jack O'Neill: So, now what?
Teal'c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-O.
Jack O'Neill: Call Daniel.

Jack O'Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal'c: Star Wars.
Jack O'Neill: He's seen it, what? Eight times?
Teal'c: Nine.
Jack O'Neill: Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay.
Major Samantha Carter: You've never seen Star Wars?
Jack O'Neill: Well, you know me and sci-fi.


"Stargate SG-1: Counterstrike (#10.7)" (2006)
Teal'c: I am ashamed that my brothers have utilized these methods.
Cameron Mitchell: They're desperate.
Teal'c: There is no honor. Freedom without honor is meaningless.

Teal'c: A great Jaffa warrior once said exalted is the warrior who achieves victory without battle.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Winning shows strength. Winning without fighting shows true skill.
Teal'c: Hmm. You are a student of ancient strategies.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, General Landry said it to me. I think he was quoting Sun Tzu. Or it could have been Doctor Phil.


"Stargate SG-1: Crystal Skull (#3.21)" (2000)
Jack O'Neill: Look, I'm sick of layin' around. Help me up.
Teal'c: Dr. Frasier believes you're not strong enough to undertake such a mission.
Jack O'Neill: Yeah, whatever.
[O'Neill gets out of his bed and promptly falls down]
Teal'c: Dr. Frasier is usually correct in such matters.

Teal'c: You may take us to Nicholas Ballard immediately.
Jack O'Neill: He's just a little anxious to see old Nick.
Nurse: Oh, are you close?
[Teal'c and Jack speak at the same time]
Teal'c: No.
Jack O'Neill: Yes.
[pause]
Teal'c: Yes, extremely.


"Stargate SG-1: Rules of Engagement (#3.9)" (1999)
Jack O'Neill: Master Teal'c, might I suggest we spare them this time?
Teal'c: Very well... underling.

Samantha Carter: Teal'c, what about these?
Teal'c: They are intar.
Jack O'Neill: Short for?
Teal'c: Intar.


"Stargate SG-1: Paradise Lost (#6.15)" (2003)
Teal'c: Are you able to translate any of this, Jonas Quinn?
Jonas Quinn: It's not Ancient, but it's definitely a language belonging to one of the races of the ancient alliance.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Nox? Asgard?
Jonas Quinn: Furlings.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, no. Not those guys.
Jonas Quinn: What?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, I don't know. I just can't imagine cute, little, furry things making big powerful weapons, that's all.
Jonas Quinn: I don't even know what they look like.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Furling. Sounds cute and fuzzy to me.
[Teal'c smiles]

Teal'c: Major Carter.
Major Samantha Carter: Teal'c, this is the women's locker room.
Teal'c: It appears there is no one else here but you, and you are fully clothed.
Major Samantha Carter: True.


"Stargate SG-1: Lost City: Part 1 (#7.21)" (2004)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Is that doughnuts?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [impersonating Mr. Burns] Ex-cellent!

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know. I mean, he's *so* deep. Go on, t-tell them how deep you are! You'll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal'c: [lifts one eyebrow] My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ooh! See?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No more beer for you.


"Stargate SG-1: Affinity (#8.7)" (2004)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Teal'c, how do Jaffa couples handle their problems?
Teal'c: On Chulak, a dispute between a man and a woman that cannot be resolved necessitates a pledge break. It must be requested by one and granted by the other.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And if that doesn't work?
Teal'c: A weapon is required.

Teal'c: Have I not conducted myself as a typical member of this community?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [nods] Mhm... No.


"Stargate SG-1: Bane (#2.10)" (1998)
[Teal'c has bought Ally a new super soaker]
Ally: Have any time to play?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh, actually we ...
[She shoots Teal'c in the chest and runs off]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Guess we shouldn't have loaded it, huh?
Teal'c: [Puts on sunglasses and looks at Daniel] How else would she defend herself?
[Teal'c shoots Daniel in the chest and chases after Ally]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: How else?
[Shakes water off his shirt]

Punk Leader: I'll remove myself when you tell me how they do tattoos like that in Chulak.
Teal'c: The skin is cut with an Orak knife. Then pure molten gold is poured into the wound.
Punk Leader: Ow, man. Don't that hurt when they do that?
Teal'c: [Teal'c grabs him by the throat and moves him] Tremendously.


"Stargate SG-1: Cure (#6.10)" (2002)
Teal'c: A Goa'uld offspring is born with the intellect and knowledge of the queen who bore it. Normally the fully developed personality would emerge, allowing the symbiote to control the host immediately upon blending.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Glowing eyes, cliché behavior, evilness, that kind of thing.

[SG-1 are stunned to see what appears to be a Goa'uld symbiote attached to a large womb in a tank similar to a fish tank. There are wires attached to the womb portion which is fleshtone in color and in stark contrast to the grey color of the symbiote. The symbiote seems to look at them as they enter the room]
Teal'c: A queen.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No kidding.


"Stargate SG-1: Orpheus (#7.4)" (2003)
Bra'tac: This Tretonin seems to have had an effect on your memory.
Teal'c: Why would you say such a thing?
Bra'tac: Because you have forgotten that a warrior's true strength comes from his heart and his mind. You have had a physical advantage over me for a long time, and yet I have never lost a sparring match to you.
Teal'c: Because for years, Old Man, I have let you win.
Bra'tac: [laughs] Better. Much better.

Teal'c: Colonel O'Neill has officially informed me that I have my "mojo" back.


"Stargate SG-1: Fail Safe (#5.17)" (2001)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we have a couple of options. Number one, we give up. We use what's left of power and life support to make it to the nearest unoccupied gate world. There's a small chance we'd make it. From there we head to the Alpha site.
Jack O'Neill: Number two?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We take off and hope that our radio signal can be picked up by the Asgard in time to inform them that this was a Goa'uld attack disguised as a natural disaster.
Sam Carter: There isn't enough time for that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I know.
Jack O'Neill: Is... there a number three?
Sam Carter: There's no three.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, maybe there is. Teal'c, you said naquadah wasn't native to our solar system.
[Teal'c nods in acknowledgement]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Which means that the Goa'uld must have towed it through hyperspace by ship.
Teal'c: A mother ship.
Sam Carter: Daniel, that's it!
Jack O'Neill: What's it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We don't have a mother ship.
Sam Carter: But the effect only has to last a few seconds.
Jack O'Neill: What only has to last a few seconds? What?
Sam Carter: Choice three, sir. We expand the ship's hyperspace field to encompass the entire asteroid. We take it out of normal space long enough to avoid the collision with earth.
Jack O'Neill: [Long pause] Is there a *four*?

Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm confident.
Jack O'Neill: Me too.
Teal'c: As am I.


"Stargate SG-1: The Other Guys (#6.8)" (2002)
Teal'c: I believe the Canucks of Vancouver are superior warriors.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Carter, be honest. The résumé gag?
Teal'c: It needs work, O'Neill.


"Stargate SG-1: Camelot (#9.20)" (2006)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This is interesting. This is a-a reference to Merlin's prophetic abilities. There's a-a similar myth on Earth, that Merlin could see the future because he actually aged backwards in time. It's not meant to be taken literally, but we have seen that a lot of legends and folklore have a-a strong basis in fact. Avalon, Atlantis...
Teal'c: The Easter Bunny.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I guess there's a few exceptions.

Netan: Flying into our territory in an unmarked cargo ship? I didn't think you were that stupid.
Teal'c: I have allowed myself to be captured knowing that I would be brought before you.
Netan: Really?
Teal'c: I have come to seek the assistance of the Lucian Alliance.
Netan: I take it back. You're not stupid, you're insane.


"Stargate SG-1: Deadman Switch (#3.7)" (1999)
Jack O'Neill: Teal'c, how fast will this unit fly?
Teal'c: I believe it is capable of traveling twice the speed of light.
Jack O'Neill: Nice. Home for dinner.
Sam Carter: Ah, sir, if you're thinking of trying to steal the ship and fly it back to Earth, even at 372,000 miles per second, it would still take us at least ten years to get that far.
Jack O'Neill: [pause] Shoulda let the dog out.

Aris Boch: Well, uh, Teal'c is worth the most. The, uh, System Lords would love to make a good example of him. And Carter here, well, she has the memories of the Tok'ra Jolinar. And you, O'Neill, you're considered - Well, you're a pain in the nikta.
Jack O'Neill: Neck?
Teal'c: No.


"Stargate SG-1: Moebius: Part 2 (#8.20)" (2005)
[versions of Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter and Teal'c have travelled back in time to Egypt in the year 2995 B.C. where they meet the Daniel Jackson of the original timeline]
Daniel Jackson: Well, this can't be a good sign.
Jack O'Neill: Why's that?
Daniel Jackson: Where am I?
Jack O'Neill: Ancient Egypt?
Daniel Jackson: No, I mean the me from your timeline.
Teal'c: I killed you.
Daniel Jackson: Why?
Teal'c: You were a Goa'uld spy.
Daniel Jackson: Good reason.
Sam Carter: It was horrible.
Daniel Jackson: [not really interested] Yeah, I'm sure. Why are you here?
Jack O'Neill: Yes, excellent question.
Daniel Jackson: You don't know?
Jack O'Neill: Well, I thought I did, there, for a while, and then I realized I... didn't.
Daniel Jackson: Well, I know why *I'm* here.
Jack O'Neill: Good! Let's start there.

Apophis: Who are you?
Daniel Jackson: Name's Daniel Jackson. Uh, if you give me back my eyeglasses, I could actually see you.
Teal'c: He claims he's of the Tau'ri.
Daniel Jackson: You weren't supposed to tell him that.
Apophis: The Tau'ri have no Chaapa'ai.
Daniel Jackson: Oh! Sorry, guess I was wrong. I'm-I'm sure your information is correct and - In fact, I'm usually quite wrong, quite unreliable actually. I'm - To be honest with you, I'm-I'm insane.
Apophis: Speak!
[pause while Daniel doesn't speak]
Apophis: Bring him.
[Teal'c hauls him forward]
Apophis: I think there is much you can tell me.
Daniel Jackson: Well, if you wanna know about the early settlements of Mesopotamia, I am somewhat of an expert...


"Stargate SG-1: Birthright (#7.10)" (2003)
Ishta: When will the Goa'uld thirst for conquest and bloodshed end?
Teal'c: When they are all dead.


"Stargate SG-1: Emancipation (#1.3)" (1997)
Jack O'Neill: Damn! Guess I'm gonna have to cancel that Oprah interview.
Teal'c: What is an "Oprah"?


"Stargate SG-1: The Torment of Tantalus (#1.10)" (1997)
Jack O'Neill: Basic survival training. We know what we have, what do we need?
Teal'c: We have the stargate. We need the dial home device.
Jack O'Neill: Thank you, Teal'c.


"Stargate SG-1: Lockdown (#8.3)" (2004)
Colonel Alexi Vaselov: How is he? Dr Jackson. Dr Brightman told me what happened.
Teal'c: His condition is improving.
Colonel Alexi Vaselov: Good.
Teal'c: And your condition?
Colonel Alexi Vaselov: Not so good. But not so bad as the time I went drinking with General Dashkevich in Novgorod. That was worse headache.


"Stargate SG-1: Cor-ai (#1.15)" (1998)
Teal'c: The Goa'uld visit here regularly. It is one of their favorite places to harvest hosts for Goa'uld absorption.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You know, I wish you wouldn't say "harvest". We're talking about human beings, not... brussel sprouts.


"Stargate SG-1: Death Knell (#7.16)" (2004)
Teal'c: Do you believe this prototype weapon will be effective against it?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.


"Stargate SG-1: New Order: Part 1 (#8.1)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: So, you wanna talk?
Teal'c: Concerning what subject?
Major Samantha Carter: I don't know. How's Rya'c?
Teal'c: Fine.
Major Samantha Carter: You still keeping in touch with Ishta?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Major Samantha Carter: Bra'tac?
Teal'c: Bra'tac is well.
Major Samantha Carter: Come on, Teal'c. Throw me a bone here.
Teal'c: How is Pete Shanahan?
Major Samantha Carter: He's fine.


"Stargate SG-1: Unending (#10.20)" (2007)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: When I said that I wanted to get the team back together, work with you guys, learn from ya... I did not mean every waking moment for the next 50 years.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You said that yesterday.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [blank stare] I did?
Teal'c: [staring at his food] And the day before.
Vala Mal Doran: And the day before that.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh... sorry. I'll just... shut up now.


"Stargate SG-1: Origin (#9.3)" (2005)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: So how do we fight these guys? And I mean the message as much as the men. A lot of folks out there are going to buy what these guys are selling.
Teal'c: Hopefully now many have been educated to the ways of false gods.
Vala Mal Doran: Yes, but we're not talking about humans with snakes in their heads with a slightly better understanding of technology.


"Stargate SG-1: Past and Present (#3.11)" (1999)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Let me ask you a question. Who would you trust with your life more than anyone else in the world? Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't pick me. Could it be Teal'c?
Jack O'Neill: Sure.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ah, Teal'c, just refresh my memory. What was your previous occupation?
Teal'c: I was First Prime of Apophis.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right. Did a few nasty things back then?


"Stargate SG-1: Descent (#6.3)" (2002)
Teal'c: The crew appears to have abandoned ship, General Hammond.
Major General George Hammond: That's good news. I don't mind telling you we've all been holding our breath down here.
Teal'c: That is most unwise.
Major General George Hammond: [smiles] Yes, of course, Teal'c.


"Stargate SG-1: The Devil You Know (#3.13)" (1999)
[Teal'c manages to effect the escape of the imprisoned SG-1 team from a hellish prison planet despite the obstructive efforts of Aldwin, who believed the task impossible.]
Teal'c: [seeing the team safely aboard ship] We have escaped.
Aldwin: I am sorry I doubted you.
Teal'c: I am as surprised as you that we have survived.


"Stargate SG-1: Grace (#7.13)" (2004)
Teal'c: You are like a brother to me, O'Neill.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You're like, what... 140?
Teal'c: A younger brother perhaps, but that is not my point.


"Stargate SG-1: Crusade (#9.19)" (2006)
Teal'c: [Referring to Vala's mysterious prenancy] You have been impregnated without copulation.
Vala Mal Doran: Yes, and I'm absolutely terrified. Have any of you ever heard of anything like it?
Cameron Mitchell: [after everyone pauses] Well, there's one.
Teal'c: Darth Vader.
Vala Mal Doran: Really?
Teal'c: Hmm.
Vala Mal Doran: How did that turn out?
Cameron Mitchell: Actually, I was thinking of King Arthur.


"Stargate SG-1: Touchstone (#2.14)" (1998)
Colonel Harry Maybourne: Teal'c. It's good to see you well.
Teal'c: In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you.


"Stargate SG-1: Watergate (#4.7)" (2000)
Teal'c: [referencing Maybourne's corpse in a walk-in freezer after it exhales] Do not humans usually die when they are frozen?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Usually.


"Stargate SG-1: Smoke & Mirrors (#6.14)" (2002)
Jonas Quinn: How'd ya learn to drive?
Teal'c: It was Daniel Jackson that instructed me.
Jonas Quinn: Oh, when was that?
Teal'c: I believe the year was 1969.


"Stargate SG-1: Frozen (#6.4)" (2002)
Jack O'Neill: D'oh!
Teal'c: What is it, O'Neill?
Jack O'Neill: I forgot to tape The Simpsons!
[Teal'c blinks]
Jack O'Neill: It's important to me.


"Stargate SG-1: In the Line of Duty (#2.2)" (1998)
Teal'c: [Daniel is laying on the gateroom's floor after Teal'c just shot him with a zat gun] Are you injured?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Dumb question.
[small pause]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: But thank you. I think.
Teal'c: You are welcome.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Just don't ever do that again.


"Stargate SG-1: Chimera (#7.15)" (2004)
Teal'c: Most often, dreams are merely the mind's way of dealing with desires that cannot be fulfilled.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh. So basically, I'm destined never to get a good night's sleep again.
Teal'c: Knowing your past experiences, Daniel Jackson, I do not know how you have slept well before now.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Thank you, Teal'c. This conversation has been disturbing on... many levels.


"Stargate SG-1: Stronghold (#9.14)" (2006)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: How'd you resist the brainwashing? I figure I might be in that situation some day, and I don't recon I'm going through the Rite of M'al Sharran.
Teal'c: To resist the influence of others, knowledge of ones self is most important.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Right. Thanks.
[Teal'c leaves]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I'm workin' on it.


"Stargate SG-1: Solitudes (#1.17)" (1998)
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Teal'c: General, permission to...
General Hammond: Granted.


"Stargate SG-1: Insiders (#10.4)" (2006)
Ba'al: It's the clones. They want me dead.
Teal'c: That would make all of us.


"Stargate SG-1: Revelations (#5.22)" (2002)
Teal'c: In which case, our chances of escape are negligible.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, I don't know. All we gotta do is bust outta here, take out every Jaffa between here and the Pel'tak, commandeer the ship and fly on home.
Teal'c: [dryly] I stand corrected.


"Stargate SG-1: Seth (#3.2)" (1999)
Jack O'Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let's hear one of them.
Teal'c: I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill.
[Teal'c thinks]
Teal'c: A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.


"Stargate SG-1: Demons (#3.8)" (1999)
Teal'c: I know of no Goa'uld capable of showing the necessary compassion or benevolence that I've read of in your bible.
Jack O'Neill: You read the bible Teal'c?
Teal'c: It is a significant part of your western culture. Have you not read the bible O'Neill?
Jack O'Neill: Oh yeah, yeah... not all of it. Actually I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.


"Stargate SG-1: Uninvited (#10.5)" (2006)
Teal'c: It is ironic that not so long ago, the mere presence of the Goa'uld on earth would have been cause for great concern.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Seriously. Who'd ever think that we'd have bigger fish to fry? Or that you'd use the word ironic in a sentence!
Teal'c: Indeed.


"Stargate SG-1: The First Ones (#4.8)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'm tellin' you, it's gotta be Hawkins.
Teal'c: [raises eyebrow] Trust in me O'Neill.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What if I'm not O'Neill?
Teal'c: Then I was not talking to you.


"Stargate SG-1: Evolution: Part 2 (#7.12)" (2003)
Master Bra'tac: Teal'c. Are you hurt?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Master Bra'tac: Where?
Teal'c: My pride. An old man did what I could not.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Sam? Sam? No, don't move, just lie still. What hurts?
Major Samantha Carter: Everything.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: That's a good sign.


"Stargate SG-1: The Enemy Within (#1.2)" (1997)
Teal'c: [speaking of Kawalski, now dead] He was your friend.
Jack O'Neill: My friend died on the table.


"Stargate SG-1: Holiday (#2.17)" (1999)
Jack O'Neill: [as Teal'c] It did not go well, General Hammond.
Teal'c: [as Jack; sarcastically] Ya think?


"Stargate SG-1: The Tok'ra: Part 2 (#2.12)" (1998)
Teal'c: Chelnak!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Direct translation: Very cool!


"Stargate SG-1: Prototype (#9.9)" (2005)
Sam Carter: The Ascendometer says Khalek's about eighty-percent there.
Teal'c: Ascendometer?
Sam Carter: Mitchell. Wish I'd thought of it.


"Stargate SG-1: Nemesis (#3.22)" (2000)
Teal'c: [as he steps out into space] One small step for Jaffa...


"Stargate SG-1: The Powers That Be (#9.5)" (2005)
Vala Mal Doran: You need to tell these people the truth.
Vala Mal Doran: I have a lot of needs, Daniel. But I assure that is not one of them.
Teal'c: If you do not tell them the truth, we will.
Teal'c: Yes, and who do you think they are actually going to believe?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Look, commanding these people to obey you and not the Ori is not going to work, especially once that Prior comes back.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: And we do not want to get into a god off. Especially since we know you're not even close.


"Stargate SG-1: Family Ties (#10.18)" (2007)
Teal'c: May I offer you a word of advice?
Jacek: Any input that would help me better myself would be greatly appreciated.
Teal'c: Perhaps three words: be less annoying


"Stargate SG-1: The Fifth Man (#5.4)" (2001)
Teal'c: If I were still loyal to the Goa'uld, you would know it.
Colonel Frank Simmons: Really?
Teal'c: It would be immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.


"Stargate SG-1: The Ties That Bind (#9.4)" (2005)
Teal'c: Colonel Mitchell, at times you remind me of O'Neill.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Ah! I'll take that as a compliment.
Teal'c: As you wish.


"Stargate SG-1: Chain Reaction (#4.15)" (2001)
Teal'c: On Chulak, when a great warrior retires from the field of battle, it is customary to sing a song of lament.
[pause]
Teal'c: Fortunately we are not on Chulak.


"Stargate SG-1: Upgrades (#4.3)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Uh, General, sir? About the obviously impending court-martials, I'd like...
Major General: You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Even so, I... I'm sorry.
Major Samantha Carter: Me too.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Me three.
Teal'c: I have no need to apologize.
Major General: Teal'c was actually following orders.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [resignedly] Of course he was.


"Stargate SG-1: The Serpent's Lair (#2.1)" (1998)
Master Bra'tac: We die well, Teal'c.
Teal'c: More than that, old friend. We die free.


"Stargate: Atlantis: Reunion (#4.3)" (2007)
Teal'c: On the day I left Chulak, Master Bra'tac said to me, "Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you."
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: That's good advice. Still, I know I'm gonna miss this place, and all of you.
Teal'c: [smiling] I would have been offended had you felt otherwise.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Ten years is a long time.
Teal'c: It has been ten years well-spent. We have defeated numerous enemies and overcome many threats.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [shy smile, eyes tearing up] It was never dull.
Teal'c: We have accomplished much here. But now it is Atlantis that is in need of you.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [head down, under her breath] Yeah...
[head up, normal tone]
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Part of me is looking forward to going, but there's another part of me that thinks maybe it's too soon that I- that I'm leaving my work here unfinished.
Teal'c: Your work will continue, only in a different place. You have been bestowed an incredible honor, Colonel Carter. And I believe you should embrace it. And know this: though we may not be leaving with you, SG-1 will never be far away.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [nodding with a smile] So I can expect you guys to come visit sometime?
Teal'c: Undomesticated equines could not keep me away.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [hugging him with a small laugh] Nice callback.
Teal'c: [eyes tearing up] Indeed.


"Stargate SG-1: Heroes: Part 1 (#7.17)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: So you do your interview with the documentary crew yet?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Major Samantha Carter: You know, I have to admit, I can't wait to hear what everyone else said.
Teal'c: I did not say much.
Major Samantha Carter: Really? That is surprising. It's usually so hard to shut you up.


"Stargate SG-1: Redemption: Part 1 (#6.1)" (2002)
Jack O'Neill: Hammond is insisting SG: 1 needs a socio-political nerd to off-set our overwhelming coolness.
Teal'c: Have you considered Jonas Quinn?
Jack O'Neill: Now I know you've been practicing, but I still can't tell. Was that a joke?


"Stargate SG-1: Lifeboat (#7.6)" (2003)
Teal'c: Daniel Jackson's preliminary electroencephalogram proved anomalous.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I dare you to say that again.


"Stargate SG-1: Homecoming (#7.2)" (2003)
Ba'al: How dare you judge your god? The Shol'va has poisoned your mind.
Teal'c: Clearly Lord Ba'al is not interested.
Oshu: We should contact one of the other system lords.
Teal'c: Mm. Perhaps Bastet.
Oshu: Hmm.


"Stargate SG-1: Prodigy (#4.19)" (2001)
Teal'c: [Teal'c is preparing to shot O'Neill with a zatgun so that the electromangetic field will repel the energy based life forms] Are you ready, O'Neill?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No. Give me a warning.
Teal'c: [Teal'c point the zat at O'Neill] I'm going to shoot you.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I was thinkin' more along the lines of "On three".
Colonel Jack O'Neill: O.K. One.
[Teal'c shoots him]


"Stargate SG-1: 1969 (#2.21)" (1999)
Michael: Hi, I'm Micheal, what's your name?
Teal'c: I am not at liberty to reveal my identity


"Stargate SG-1: It's Good to Be King (#8.13)" (2005)
Teal'c: It is quite a distance from the village.
Harry 'King Arkhan The First' Maybourne: I enjoy long walks.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [smirking] Right, long walks, rainy nights, and
[with heavy sarcasm]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: candle lit dinners.


"Stargate SG-1: Point of View (#3.6)" (1999)
[Teal'c and his alternate meet in a parallel universe]
Teal'c: [speaking Goa'uld] Kel'nok, Teal'c.
Alt-Teal'c: [shocked] Kel'shak.
Teal'c: Renounce Apophis as a false god and join us in our deliverance of this world and I will spare you.
Alt-Teal'c: Shol'va!
[Teal'c shoots his alternate self]


Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008) (V)
Teal'c: Nothing I have done since turning against the goa'uld will make up for the atrocities I once committed in their name. Somewhere deep inside you you knew it was wrong, a voice you did not recognize screamed for you to stop. You saw no way out, it was the way things were, they could not be changed. You're trying to convince yourself the people you're hurting deserved it. You became numb to their pain and suffering, you learned to shut out the voice speaking against it.
Tomin: There's always a choice.
Teal'c: Indeed there is.
Tomin: I chose to ignore it.
Teal'c: Yet you sit here now.
Tomin: I sit here, and I cannot imagine the day when I will forgive myself.
Teal'c: Because it will never come. One day others may try to convince you they have forgiven you, that is more about them than you. For them, imparting forgiveness is a blessing.
Tomin: How do you go on?
Teal'c: It is simple. You will never forgive yourself. Accept it. You hurt others, many others, that cannot be undone. You will never find personal retribution, but your life does not have to end. That which is right, just and true can still prevail. If you do not fight for what you believe in all may be lost for everyone else. But do not fight for yourself, fight for others, others that may be saved through your effort. That is the least you can do.