Major Samantha Carter
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Major Samantha Carter (Character)
from "Stargate SG-1" (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Stargate SG-1: Moebius: Part 2 (#8.20)" (2005)
[versions of Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter and Teal'c have travelled back in time to Egypt in the year 2995 B.C. where they meet the Daniel Jackson of the original timeline]
Daniel Jackson: Well, this can't be a good sign.
Jack O'Neill: Why's that?
Daniel Jackson: Where am I?
Jack O'Neill: Ancient Egypt?
Daniel Jackson: No, I mean the me from your timeline.
Teal'c: I killed you.
Daniel Jackson: Why?
Teal'c: You were a Goa'uld spy.
Daniel Jackson: Good reason.
Sam Carter: It was horrible.
Daniel Jackson: [not really interested] Yeah, I'm sure. Why are you here?
Jack O'Neill: Yes, excellent question.
Daniel Jackson: You don't know?
Jack O'Neill: Well, I thought I did, there, for a while, and then I realized I... didn't.
Daniel Jackson: Well, I know why *I'm* here.
Jack O'Neill: Good! Let's start there.

Sam Carter: [studdering nervously] I'm-I'm kind of attracted to Daniel.
Jack O'Neill: [long pause with blank expression then incredulously] What?
[long pause while stepping closer and then again incredulously]
Jack O'Neill: Really?

Jack O'Neill: How's it goin'?
Sam Carter: Never seen this kind of technology before.
Jack O'Neill: Hey, you're supposed to be a genius. That's why I brought you along.
Sam Carter: I'm working on it. I think the power relay was overloaded. I may be able to reroute the circuit to the control interface...
[pauses and sees Jack staring at her]
Sam Carter: What?
Jack O'Neill: It's just a little weird hearing that kind of stuff come out of someone so...
Sam Carter: [apparently taking offence at what she thinks Jack is about to say] So what?
Jack O'Neill: Hot.
Sam Carter: [chokes, then stutters] Really?
Jack O'Neill: Yeah.
Sam Carter: [pauses] Wow. Um... it's just... you-you're not the kind of guy that I usually attract.
Jack O'Neill: No?
Sam Carter: No.
Sam Carter: Heh, God. Wow. This is kinda awkward.
Jack O'Neill: Yeah, it's gettin' there.
Sam Carter: I'm kinda... attracted to-to Daniel.
Jack O'Neill: [long pause] What?
[Sam shrugs, he pauses again; then incredulously]
Jack O'Neill: Really?
Sam Carter: Sorry.
Jack O'Neill: No, that's okay, no problem there, I just, you know... first impressions, I thought he was...
[he pauses, Sam looks confused, he does hand motion for "gay," but sees Sam doesn't understand]
Jack O'Neill: Nevermind.

Sam Carter: Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?
Jack O'Neill: Close enough.

Sam Carter: Look, if we don't make it...
[kisses Jack]
Jack O'Neill: [angrily] Wait a minute! You said you liked Daniel.
Sam Carter: I lied.

Daniel Jackson: Wait a minute. I thought the reason why we brought the ship was so that we didn't have to walk.
Sam Carter: You can't just fly into an alien city. The mission is stealth recon. Meaning undetected.
Jack O'Neill: Meaning *shut up*!

Dr. Rodney McKay: [to Hammond] I give this no more than a 50/50 chance of working.
Lieutenant General George Hammond: According to the tape, it worked for eight years.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hm.
Daniel Jackson: [wormhole is established] Wow.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, I'm certainly glad it's not me going through that... um... thing.
Jack O'Neill: Any idea what to expect?
Sam Carter: Not really. According to the tape, we're going to be de-molecularized, transmitted over two thousand light-years through subspace, and then, uh, remolecularized on the other side.
Major Charles Kawalsky: I did not need to know that.
Jack O'Neill: OK.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Gateship 1, you're go for launch.
Jack O'Neill: Gate ship?
Daniel Jackson: [with hand gesture] Well, it's a ship that goes through the gate.
Jack O'Neill: [somewhat reluctantly] Alright.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [to Hammond] What? It's a ship that goes through the gate. Gateship.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, I thought it was clever.

Sam Carter: Look, if we don't make it...
[kisses Jack]
Jack O'Neill: Wait a minute! I thought you liked Daniel.
Sam Carter: I lied. I just wanted to get to know you better. You see, I'm a very cautious person, and I tend to take things-
[Jack interrupts, kissing her]

Daniel Jackson: [into the radio] Sam, Jack, it's all clear. You can come out now.
Jack O'Neill: [into the radio] In a minute.
[turns back to Sam. Daniel flicks his eyes nervously, viewing the celebration; Jack resumes kissing Sam]
Sam Carter: [muffled, after something in the ship sends out sparks] I can fix that.

Sam Carter: [Takes gun extended to her] I don't really Like Guns.
Jack O'Neill: Neither do I, how do you feel about explosives?

"Stargate SG-1: Children of the Gods (#1.1)" (1997)
George Hammond: Where's Captain Carter?
Samuels: Just arriving, sir.
Jack O'Neill: Carter?
George Hammond: I'm assigning Sam Carter to this mission.
Jack O'Neill: I'd prefer to put together my own team, sir.
George Hammond: Not on this mission. Sorry. Carter's our expert on the Stargate.
Jack O'Neill: Where's he transferring from?
Samantha Carter: [Carter enters the room] She is transferring from the Pentagon. I take it you're Colonel O'Neill. Captain Samantha Carter reporting, sir.

[preparing to go through the Stargate to Abydos]
Jack O'Neill: Captain?
Samantha Carter: Don't worry, Colonel. I won't let you down.
Jack O'Neill: Good. I was gonna say, "Ladies first."
Samantha Carter: You know, you really will like me when you get to know me.
Jack O'Neill: Oh, I adore you already, Captain.

[looking the Abydos Stargate's DHD]
Samantha Carter: Amazing. This is what was missing from the dig at Giza. This is how they controlled it. It took us 15 years and three supercomputers to MacGyver a system for the gate on Earth.
Jack O'Neill: Captain?
Samantha Carter: Look how small it is!

Daniel Jackson: Look, ah, I don't pretend to know anything about astrophysics, but couldn't the planets change? I mean, uh, drift apart or-or something like that to throw this map off?
Samantha Carter: I knew I'd like you.
Daniel Jackson: You mean I'm right?

Sam Carter: I'm an Air Force officer just like you are, Colonel. And just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't mean I can't handle whatever you can handle.
Jack O'Neill: Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman. I like women. I've just got a little problem with scientists.
Sam Carter: Oh, Colonel, I logged over 100 hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War. Is that tough enough for you... or are we gonna have to arm wrestle?

Samantha Carter: [Seeing the Control Plinth of the Gate at Abydos for the first time] Amazing.
Samantha Carter: But, this is what was missing from the dig at Giza.
Samantha Carter: [Touches the central boss] This is how they controlled it.
Samantha Carter: It took us fifteen years and three supercomputers to 'MacGyver' a system for the Gate on Earth.
Jack O'Neill: Captain.
Samantha Carter: Look how small it is.
Jack O'Neill: Captain!

Samantha Carter: It took us fifteen years and three super-computers to MacGyver a system for the Gate on Earth.

Jack O'Neill: Oh here we go, another scientist. General, please.
Samantha Carter: Theoretical astrophysicist.
Jack O'Neill: Which means...?
George Hammond: It means she's smarter than you are.

"Stargate SG-1: Fragile Balance (#7.3)" (2003)
Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Thought I'd just drop by and say- Ow!
Security Force Officer: [from outside] Sir, please do not resist.
Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Hey, ease up, big guy!
Major Samantha Carter: [to the pilots] ... stay focused.
Security Force Officer: [from outside] Relax, sir.
Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Okay, I'm warning you...
Security Force Officer: [from outside] Sir, please, stay there
Young Jack O'Neill: [from outside] Didn't I just say I was warning you? Hey! Oh! All right! That's it! Now, I'm mad!
Major Samantha Carter: [Sam opens the door to see the young Colonel O'neill pinned to a wall by two Security Force Officers] You can release him.
Young Jack O'Neill: [the guards release him] I'll forgo the charges for assaulting a superior officer. Carter... I could've taken him.
Major Samantha Carter: I'm sure

Major General George Hammond: Would anyone care to speculate how a boy could be aware of our most classified information?
Major Samantha Carter: Well, sir, it-it could be him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: There is a physical resemblance.
Major General George Hammond: But he can't be more than 15 years old. Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has somehow regressed more than 30 years overnight?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Stranger things have happened.
Teal'c: Name but one.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, there was the time he got really old; the time he became a caveman; the time we all swapped bodies...

[Hammond shows Carter the individual who tried to enter the SGC with O'Neill's security ID]
Major Samantha Carter: He's a boy, sir.
Young Jack O'Neill: As it turns out, Carter, yes I am. For the moment.

Major General George Hammond: In the meantime, I suggest we try to make him as comfortable as possible.
Major Samantha Carter: I'll go set up a Playstation.

Young Jack O'Neill: You know, ah, I think you two are enjoying this just a little too much.
Major Samantha Carter: Well, you are kinda cute.
Young Jack O'Neill: That's 'sir' to you, and being trapped inside a scrawny little body isn't my idea of cute, Carter.

Young Jack O'Neill: I don't plan on staying like this.
Major Samantha Carter: Well, in the meantime, may I make a suggestion? Try enjoying this as much as we are... sir.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: There's no easy way to tell you this, so... Sam's just gonna come out and say it.
Major Samantha Carter: Well, sir, as you know, the Asgard depend on a cloning technology...
Young Jack O'Neill: Oh, for cryin' out loud!
Teal'c: You have been cloned, O'Neill.
Young Jack O'Neill: [turning to face them] What!

Colonel Jack O'Neill: How long was I asleep?
Major Samantha Carter: Seven days.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: That's a record.

"Stargate SG-1: Chimera (#7.15)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: [Sam talks technobabble and Daniel yawns] At least pretend that it's interesting.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No, it was very interesting. Please, go on.
Major Samantha Carter: Are you tired?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ya think?

Major Samantha Carter: No offense, Daniel, but it's not like you don't have some issues to work out.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh, yeah.
Major Samantha Carter: Maybe you should talk to someone.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I thought I was.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: [Sam is humming in the elevator] Humming?
Major Samantha Carter: I am?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You are.
Major Samantha Carter: Sorry.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What's his name?
Major Samantha Carter: Now, why would you...
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Humming.
Major Samantha Carter: Pete.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Pete?
Major Samantha Carter: Pete Shanahan. He's a cop.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Speeding again, are we?
Major Samantha Carter: From Denver. He's a friend of my brother.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Set up.
Major Samantha Carter: Pathetic, I know.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No, it's great.
Major Samantha Carter: It's not serious or anything.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: And yet it is... humworthy.

Major General George Hammond: You're suggesting Osiris is here on Earth manipulating Dr. Jackson's dreams?
Major Samantha Carter: We think it's possible, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Kinky.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'm just happy you're happy about something other than...quarks.
[both pause and look at each other for a long moment]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: That was good, wasn't it, quarks?
Major Samantha Carter: Very good sir.

Major Samantha Carter: What I'm about to tell you is Classified under section 11-C-9 of the National Security Act.
Pete Shanahan: Chicks with laser beam rings and glowing eyes are Classified under 11-C-9?

Stargate: Continuum (2008) (V)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [being told to return to base for further instructions] What further instructions could there be, besides "kiss your ass goodbye"?

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [Carter and Mitchell are lost on the ice] If we're gonna freeze to death, here is as good a spot as any.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [after glancing around] ... Nah... I don't like this spot.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [Carter is in her third day of being interrogated about the history of the Stargate program] I listened, whereas I've been trying to tell you that Earth is in serious danger and you don't seem to give a rat's ass... Oh my God for the umpteenth time, I want to talk to somebody else.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [seeing the alternate Gen. Hammond] It's good to see you, sir.
Major General George Hammond: ...If you say so.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [walking in the arctic] Sam, we have to keep moving!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Why? If we're going to freeze to death here's as good of spot as any, in't it?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Nah, I don't like this spot!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Cam, come on what's the point! there's no one around for hundreds of...
[two people walking towards them and points]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Who's that?
[run toward the two]
Major General Jack O'Neill: Wait! Which one of you is Mitchell?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That'd be me!
Major General Jack O'Neill: Jack O'Neill; Special Forces.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh my God, we thought you were dead!
Major General Jack O'Neill: Back at cha' ma'am.

interrogator [female]: Samantha Carter?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yes.
interrogator [female]: It's common knowledge that 4 years ago, a computer failure forced the space shuttle Intrepid's main engines to shut down before it could reach a safe orbit or secondary landing site. When the auto pilot also failed mission commander, Samantha Carter, stayed behind to fly it while her crew bailed out of the escape hatch. The orbiter went down over the Atlantic and her body was never recovered.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: It wasn't me.
interogator [female]: You just said you name...
[Sam cuts her off]
interogator [female]: [Cam, Sam, and Daniel are being interogated, all talking at the same time]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I was recruited into the Stargate program in my timeline not N.A.S.A...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Stargate Command is a branch of the United States Air Force, founded in nineteen-ninety I forget the exact year; for the purpose of exploration and just... it operates in secret from...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: ...actually, at was less an altered timeline and it was this kind of... but i know what your thinking. You're thinking I'm insane.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: And so we had the Stargate powered and it was capable of operating, but none of the random addresses.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: A list, you, you want the whole list of every plant I've ever been to? Okay; Earth you never forget your first. Right!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It was just a matter of finding which of the 39 symbols represented the point of origin.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: The symbols in a combination of seven...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Known as Casa, it's kind of like space corn; but you know that is a story you are going to hear some day
interogator [male]: You think this is funny?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Everything I can think of I've told you. I mean seriously, who would make this shit up!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Because it is; funny! And you need to learn that things can be both funny and serious at the same time!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I've listened. whereas I've been trying to tell you that Earth is in serious danger and you don't seem to give a rat's ass!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [annoyed] OK, fine! O'Neil wants nothing to do with us, what about Landry! No you see - I know him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [dryly] if you'd like to hear to answer to that question, why don't you go and play your tape back, I'm going to take a break.
[smiles quickly, then frowns and drinks coffee]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh my God, for the umpteenth time - I want to talk to someone else!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I am agitated because this is not the way things are suposed to be!
Major General Hank Landry: [walks in] Unfortunately colonel, it's the way it is!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: General, thank you for coming. you flew F-4's in Vietnam, you have a daughter named Caroline, you're wild about Fulvous whistling ducks...
Major General Hank Landry: Stop right there son, I believe you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [dumbfounded] You do?

"Stargate SG-1: The Road Not Taken (#10.13)" (2007)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: The Rodney McKay I know wouldn't back down from a challenge. He is one of the most forthright, courageous, and selfless men I have ever met.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hm.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Aw, you're makin' that up, aren't you?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Most of it, yeah.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Eh, okay. I'll help you.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: The Rodney I know is a master of subtle persuasion.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hm.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, you're lying again, aren't you?

Major Evan Lorne: [Discussing the alternate reality Carter's failed marriage] It was this dot com millionaire smartass named McKay.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Not... Rodney McKay?
Major Evan Lorne: Yeah. You have one too, huh? Is he a jerk in your universe?

Major General George Hammond: Colonel Carter, President Landry.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: President? Of the United States?
President Hank Landry: That's right. Is there a problem?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Uh, no sir, it's just that in my reality... never mind.

Dr. Rodney McKay: How can I help you?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, this is going to come as a bit of a shock, but I'm not who you think I am.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh my God, you're a lesbian! Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I am very glad to be back. The whole thing was kind of creepy.
Vala Mal Doran: Hey, what was I like in that reality?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You were in jail.
Vala Mal Doran: Not again!

"Stargate SG-1: Solitudes (#1.17)" (1998)
Samantha Carter: Colonel...?
Jack O'Neill: It's my sidearm, I swear.

Samantha Carter: Sshhh. Try to sleep.
Jack O'Neill: Is that what we're doing?
Samantha Carter: You're exhausted, you passed out. I just thought we had to combine body heat or we wouldn't make it through the night.
Jack O'Neill: That's fine. It's just... very hard to sleep with broken ribs when someone's lying on you.
Samantha Carter: Sorry.

Samantha Carter: Try to stay put, Sir, I think your leg's broken.
Jack O'Neill: No, my leg's definitely broken. What's the bad news, 'cause unless they've redecorated the Gate room, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Samantha Carter: What's wrong with your chest?
Jack O'Neill: I think I cracked a rib too.
Samantha Carter: Why didn't you say something?
Jack O'Neill: I was afraid you'd try to put a splint on it.

Samantha Carter: Daniel must have misdialed.
Jack O'Neill: Misdialed? You mean this place is a wrong number? Ah, for crying out loud.

"Stargate SG-1: The Pegasus Project (#10.3)" (2006)
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: If he speaks again, I'll shoot him.
[Sam mouths 'Thank you']
Dr. Daniel Jackson: But to answer your question, we are introducing another stargate into the equation. Teal'c should have it in position right now.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: If we can make a connection between that gate, and one from the Pegasus galaxy...
Dr. Rodney McKay: You're gonna try and make a jump.
[to John]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Don't shoot me. You know I can't help myself.

Dr. Rodney McKay: I am just saying, the yield calculations can be extremely tricky if not borderline impossible. You may need me.
Vala Mal Doran: [giggles awkwardly] Colonel Carter said as much.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Ooh... we weren't gonna tell him that.

Dr. Rodney McKay: I just wanted to thank you for being there for me recently in a time of great personal need. Well, actually, you weren't there - I was alone in the dark - but, um, um, you know, it sure seemed like you were.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Are you telling me one of your fantasies?
Dr. Rodney McKay: No, it was an hallucination. Look, I had a concussion, I was trapped in the back of a sinking jumper, and my mind conjured you up as a means of survival. It's just what you would do in my situation. It saved my life.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Okay, well, that's... sort of nice.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hmm, yes, it was.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [beat] Was I naked?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Partially.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You know, Sam, this is not the Rodney McKay I heard stories about.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I know.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What stories? What have you heard?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well, for starters, that you didn't know the meaning of the word 'impossible'.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, I certainly know the meaning...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: And that under threat of impending death, you could work miracles.
Dr. Rodney McKay: I suppose Sheppard told you that?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yes, he did.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yes, well it's all true. But I'm not under the threat of impending death, and I don't have a ...
[Cameron threatens him with a lemon]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Not yet. Keep it up.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Well... I'll see what I can come up with then.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well, it's like my grandma used to say, if at first you don't succeed...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Try a larger thermonuclear reaction?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Her words exactly.

"Stargate SG-1: Fail Safe (#5.17)" (2001)
Sam Carter: [explaining the contents of the asteroid and how the bomb will affect it] The explosion will be enhanced by the naquadah, probably to the force of a small nova. This close to Earth, it would be enough to set the atmosphere on fire and boil the oceans.
Jack O'Neill: Okay, this was not in the movie.

Sam Carter: Now find the wires leading from the timer to the detonator and cut the red one.
Jack O'Neill: Carter, they're all yellow.
Sam Carter: Say again?
Jack O'Neill: There are five wires and they're all yellow.

Sam Carter: The asteroid has an irregular shape, but we've calculated its length from end to end to be approximately 137 kilometers.
Jack O'Neill: I've seen this movie. It hits Paris.

Sam Carter: Sir, the asteroid's core is composed almost entirely of naquadah.
Jack O'Neill: Of course it is.
Sam Carter: It makes up about 45 percent of the total mass.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Of course it does.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we have a couple of options. Number one, we give up. We use what's left of power and life support to make it to the nearest unoccupied gate world. There's a small chance we'd make it. From there we head to the Alpha site.
Jack O'Neill: Number two?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We take off and hope that our radio signal can be picked up by the Asgard in time to inform them that this was a Goa'uld attack disguised as a natural disaster.
Sam Carter: There isn't enough time for that.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I know.
Jack O'Neill: Is... there a number three?
Sam Carter: There's no three.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, maybe there is. Teal'c, you said naquadah wasn't native to our solar system.
[Teal'c nods in acknowledgement]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Which means that the Goa'uld must have towed it through hyperspace by ship.
Teal'c: A mother ship.
Sam Carter: Daniel, that's it!
Jack O'Neill: What's it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We don't have a mother ship.
Sam Carter: But the effect only has to last a few seconds.
Jack O'Neill: What only has to last a few seconds? What?
Sam Carter: Choice three, sir. We expand the ship's hyperspace field to encompass the entire asteroid. We take it out of normal space long enough to avoid the collision with earth.
Jack O'Neill: [Long pause] Is there a *four*?

"Stargate SG-1: Small Victories (#4.1)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Where's the fanfare, General?
Major Samantha Carter: We did kind of save the planet, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Again. This should not get old, General.

Major Samantha Carter: If there are still a small enough number of the replicators on board, a properly equipped team could possibly...
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Save the world?
Major Samantha Carter: Getting old for you, sir?

Major Samantha Carter: We kicked their asses.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: They had asses?

Colonel Jack O'Neill: Not going fishing?
Major Samantha Carter: [shakes head no]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [in homer simpson fashion] Doh

Colonel Jack O'Neill: [as Sam walks up the Gate ramp] Have fun
Major Samantha Carter: yeah, sure ya'betcha

"Stargate SG-1: Ripple Effect (#9.13)" (2006)
Cameron Mitchell: [softly] You know, I read all the mission reports on the Asgard. They're not what I expected.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: What were you expecting?
Cameron Mitchell: [glancing at Kvasir] Well, pants for one.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: The theory holds that anything that can happen, will happen. If not in this reality, than in another.
Cameron Mitchell: So you're saying that somewhere in an alternate universe, I got to second base with Amy Vandenberg?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [annoyed] Theoretically, yes.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: As we discussed the situation we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window. Specifically the interim journey between the two gates.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Did she just say "we"?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Pardon me?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: She said we. You said we?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Ah, me and... myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Cameron Mitchell: Right, finally someone who can keep up with you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [Smiling] Yep!

Hank Landry: It's possible the first spatial tear may have caused a ripple effect across several realities, transforming an area of their subspace into into a kind of funnel that's redirecting their gate travel into this universe. Any wormhole passing close enough to the black hole is being drawn into the singularity and rerouted here.
Hank Landry: So you're telling me that we're the hub?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: A convergence point, yes sir. It might account for why gate travel in this universe isn't affected.
Hank Landry: Inform all off world teams to proceed to the Alpha Site. Until further notice gate travel to and from Stargate Command will be suspended indefinitely.
Cameron Mitchell: What if there are more teams coming in hot?
Hank Landry: I'm willing to make the occasional exception but I'm not about to turn this base into the Grand Central Station of the multiverse.

Dr. Bill Lee: Given the fact that previous trips through this black hole didn't produce a rupture in the subspace structure...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: They may not have produced the rupture but it is entirely possible that their repeated trips contributed to the deterioration space-time fabric that eventually seeded to the singularity, creating a bridge between the various realities.
Dr. Bill Lee: And I'm thinking that the proximity of these realities in relation to each other may account for the absence of the entropic cascade failure. But this still doesn't help us with main problem... how do reverse the process?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I don't have any answer to that, because if I did
[camera pans around to show 15 Samantha Carters behind her]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: we all wouldn't be here.

"Stargate: Atlantis: McKay and Mrs. Miller (#3.8)" (2006)
Jeannie: [looking out of the Daedelus] What have you gotten yourself involved in Meredith?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Meredith?
Jeannie: Yeah. That's his name.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Your name's Meredith?
Dr. Rodney McKay: [embarrassed and annoyed] It's my first name, yes. Meredith Rodney McKay. I prefer to go by Rodney.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [after a pause] Look out the window, much more interesting than my name.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Your name's Meredith?

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: He destroyed a solar system.
Jeannie: MEREDITH!

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well that's the beauty of your theory. It should not only allow us to build a bridge, it should also allow us to manage the flow rate of energy.
Jeannie: [understanding] Like a faucet.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [laughing] Well, something like that...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [giving Rodney a reproaching look through camera] It's EXACTLY like that.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [Jeannie and Rodney are bickering] Woah, woah! Siblings, please!
Dr. Rodney McKay, Jeannie: Sorry.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [about the way Sam's looking at them] What?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, it's just you both said "sorry" with that cute Canadian way, and I...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [Rodney stares at her, less than amused] Sorry.

"Stargate SG-1: Grace (#7.13)" (2004)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Teal'c and Daniel say 'hi'. Um, they're planning a little bit of a shindig for when you're up and around. There's talk of cake.
Major Samantha Carter: A cake?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: My idea.

Major Samantha Carter: Thank you, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: For what?
Major Samantha Carter: Nothing.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Think *nothing* of it. I've got plenty of that.

Major Samantha Carter: [to Jack, in her dream] As long as I'm thinking about you, setting my sights on what I think is unattainable, there's no chance of being hurt by someone else.

Major Samantha Carter: Came to give me a pep talk?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: That's what friends are for.
Major Samantha Carter: Friends...
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Hey, this is you talking here. Might as well be honest.
Major Samantha Carter: What if I quit the Air Force? Would that change anything or is it just an excuse?

"Stargate SG-1: The Scourge (#9.17)" (2006)
Richard Woolsey: Just to clarify. I'm going to be disassembled at the molecular level, then reassembled on the other side.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: That's right.
Richard Woolsey: And the chances of my being reassembled incorrectly.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Highly unlikely.
Richard Woolsey: But not impossible.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: That's a word I stopped using nine years ago when I joined the Stargate Program.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: If I could go back in time, which, admittedly, is an opportunity I am occasionally presented with...

Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's no question that these bugs were the Priors' follow up to the virus.
Teal'c: And it appears that they were designed to circumvent any attempt to forestall their destructive nature.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Deny them crops and their physiology adapts to an alternate food source.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, us.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are we still doing movie night?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yeah, why not?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I've already picked something out.
Teal'c: Old School.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Starship Troopers.
Teal'c: Is it humorous?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Is it ever.

"Stargate SG-1: Reckoning: Part 2 (#8.17)" (2005)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about the Ancient knowledge in his mind] You can't handle it, can you?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] I can. I just need time to process, share it with the others.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Like the universe it's infinite. It's not just knowledge and information, it's understanding on a level that you'll never reach.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] Why do you think that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Because you're a machine.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] So are you. Just of weaker construction.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And that's where you're wrong.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] We'll see.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: You lied to me.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] What?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You promised you'd leave Earth alone. There's replicators infiltrating the SGC right now.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] How can you know that?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: While I was in your mind, you were inside mine.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Took a while to figure out, fortunately you were too distracted to notice. Some of the Ancient knowledge really helped too, thank you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] You tricked me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: You tricked me first.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] You should never have told me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Too late. For you that is.
[she attempts to hit him and he grabs her arm]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Trying to leave? Sorry, a little more time in Danny's world.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Replicator Sam] My brethren will not stop. You cannot control them.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Not yet. But I'm learning.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [after making the interface work] Now for parting the Red Sea.

"Stargate SG-1: Upgrades (#4.3)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Uh, General, sir? About the obviously impending court-martials, I'd like...
Major General: You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Even so, I... I'm sorry.
Major Samantha Carter: Me too.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Me three.
Teal'c: I have no need to apologize.
Major General: Teal'c was actually following orders.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [resignedly] Of course he was.

Major Samantha Carter: So, has it occurred to anyone that we're defying a direct order?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, it's not like we haven't defied orders before.
Major Samantha Carter: Well, yeah, but that was to save Earth.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Earth. Steaks. There's a difference?

Waitress: What can I get you?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Um, three of the biggest steaks you've got, with everything, rare, and baked potato.
Waitress: You got it!
[She starts to walk off]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Excuse me... That was for me!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I'm gonna have three as well.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Four?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Four... Four is good, yeah.
Major Samantha Carter: Me too, and French fries with mine... oh and a diet soda!
[O'Neill and Jackson give her a funny look]
Major Samantha Carter: I like the taste better!

[after making a trick shot in pool]
Big Guy: How the hell did you do that?
Major Samantha Carter: You wanna go double or nothing?
Big Guy: No. I think I'll cut my losses.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [chagrined] smart move

"Stargate SG-1: Deadman Switch (#3.7)" (1999)
Sam Carter: Sir, he's not Goa'uld.
Jack O'Neill: And? But? So? Therefore?

Sam Carter: How do you keep from getting killed?
Aris Boch: It takes talent.
Jack O'Neill: So, how do you keep from getting killed?

Jack O'Neill: Teal'c, how fast will this unit fly?
Teal'c: I believe it is capable of traveling twice the speed of light.
Jack O'Neill: Nice. Home for dinner.
Sam Carter: Ah, sir, if you're thinking of trying to steal the ship and fly it back to Earth, even at 372,000 miles per second, it would still take us at least ten years to get that far.
Jack O'Neill: [pause] Shoulda let the dog out.

Aris Boch: Captain, you must have some medical training.
Sam Carter: Actually, I'm a Major now.
Aris Boch: Oh! Well, how very important. I'll inform the galaxy. Can you get over here now and help me, *Major*?

"Stargate SG-1: Redemption: Part 1 (#6.1)" (2002)
Major Samantha Carter: Navigation?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Check.
Major Samantha Carter: Oxygen, pressure, temperature control?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: All check.
Major Samantha Carter: Inertial Dampeners?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Cool!... and check.
Major Samantha Carter: Engines?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: All Check. Phasers?
Major Samantha Carter: [smirking] Sorry sir.

Anubis: I am Anubis!
Major Samantha Carter: Looks like a hologram projection, sir.
Anubis: Humans of the Tau'ri, your end of days finally approaches. There will be no mercy.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [to Carter] Oh, come on, who talks like that?
Major Samantha Carter: Sir, this is Asgard technology. He must have downloaded it from Thor
Anubis: You will bow to my awesome power. There is nothing that can stop the destruction I bring upon you. Prepare to meet your doom.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, please!

Jack O'Neill: Hey, how come you're not downstairs with the rest of the eggheads? Not that you're an egghead. Well, you are actually. But in a good way.
Samantha Carter: I couldn't think down there. They all kept looking at me for the answer.
Jack O'Neill: Well you do have a penchant for pulling brilliant ideas out of your butt - head. Out of your head, when we need them.

Major Samantha Carter: What about you, sir? Any ideas? I mean sometimes you have a way of seeing things at... at their simplest.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Thank you.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [after a pause] I'm gonna go eat some cake.

"Stargate SG-1: Off the Grid (#9.16)" (2006)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We're supposed to stay under the radar.
Teal'c: I doubt if this world possesses such technology.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh please, Mary Poppins is not even in the running.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Hey!

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I'm gonna hit the shower.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I'm gonna find a doctor.
Teal'c: We are indeed suitably employed
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, it was a good day.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I think I'm as close as you are!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Come on! You're miles away.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Teal'c, which one of us is closer?
Teal'c: I believe the three of you to be equidistant.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Hey!

"Stargate SG-1: Urgo (#3.16)" (2000)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wow, this coffee's great!
Samantha Carter: I was just thinking that.
Jack O'Neill: Yeah, is that cinnamon?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's, uh, it's chicory
Jack O'Neill: [contemplative] Hm, chicory.
[Teal'c unscrews the lid from the coffee pot and drinks the contents]
Samantha Carter: Teal'c?
[He continues to drink as everyone looks, then finishes]
Jack O'Neill: Isn't that hot?
Teal'c: Extremely.
[the others look shocked]
General George S. Hammond: Just stay on the base. We're going to need to keep and eye on you for the time being.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I feel fine.
Teal'c: As do I, Daniel Jackson.
General George S. Hammond: For someone who just drank a half gallon of steaming hot coffee?
Jack O'Neill: Right.

Samantha Carter: Well, he can't actually make us do anything we don't want to, sir.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Then why did I have to treat your arm for a burn? Didn't you say Urgo was responsible?
Urgo: I didn't mean to!
Samantha Carter, Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson: He didn't mean to.
Teal'c: It was not his intention.

Urgo: You are so smart, Samantha. I love that about you.
Jack O'Neill: Carter?
Samantha Carter: The technology implanted in our brains, sir. We're looking at some sort of visual communication interface; controlled hallucination.
Jack O'Neill: So... I... Be- What?
Urgo: He gets confused. By the way, who is Mary Steenburgen?

"Stargate SG-1: Window of Opportunity (#4.6)" (2000)
Jack O'Neill: Uh, excuse me, George.
[hands the General some papers]
Major General George Hammond: Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?
Jack O'Neill: Handing you my resignation.
Major Samantha Carter: You're resigning? What for?
Jack O'Neill: So I can do this.
[kisses Carter and the loop resets]

Jack O'Neill: I distinctly remember sitting here, listening to Carter prattle on about solar activity and a... corona... something.
Major Samantha Carter: Coronal mass emissions - I was just about to bring it up.
Jack O'Neill: There you go, how would I know that?
Major Samantha Carter: Maybe you read my report.
Daniel Jackson: Maybe he *read* your report?

Teal'c: Events do appear to be repeating themselves.
Daniel Jackson: Since when?
Jack O'Neill: Since we went to P4X-639.
Major Samantha Carter: We haven't been to P4X-639.
Jack O'Neill: Yes we have.
[to Daniel]
Jack O'Neill: "No we haven't." That's what you were gonna say.
Daniel Jackson: Of course that's what I was gonna say.
Jack O'Neill: Okay, bad example.

"Stargate SG-1: Ascension (#5.3)" (2001)
Jack O'Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal'c: Star Wars.
Jack O'Neill: He's seen it, what? Eight times?
Teal'c: Nine.
Jack O'Neill: Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay.
Major Samantha Carter: You've never seen Star Wars?
Jack O'Neill: Well, you know me and sci-fi.

Major Samantha Carter: You made it?
Orlin: You wouldn't believe the things that you can make from the common, simple items lying around your planet. Which reminds me, you're going to need a new microwave.

Major Samantha Carter: And you ordered the materials online?
Orlin: Mostly. Sorry, but you're gonna have a pretty big credit card bill this month. Oh, and you're going to need a new toaster.

"Stargate SG-1: Rite of Passage (#5.6)" (2001)
Cassandra: Dominic's waiting.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Fine. Invite him in. I'm sure he'd love to have a piece of birthday cake that Sam went to all the trouble to bake.
Major Samantha Carter: Buy.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Bring.

Dominic: [Cassandra has collapsed on the porch] Nothing. She just fell. I kissed her and the light exploded and she fell.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: She's running a temperature... What was she doing when she just fell. You kissed her?
Major Samantha Carter: You kissed her?
Dominic: It's her birthday so I kissed her and she just fell.

Cassandra: You wouldn't leave.
Major Samantha Carter: When?
Cassandra: When the goa'uld planted the bomb inside me you wouldn't leave even though your orders were to leave me there alone. You stayed with me
Major Samantha Carter: Yea.

"Stargate SG-1: Pretense (#3.15)" (2000)
Samantha Carter: So you built that... stargate?
Narim: Yes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: *Way* smarter than we are.
Jack O'Neill: Ours is bigger.

Samantha Carter: Sir, what makes you so confident?
Jack O'Neill: Because Lya is a fair and insightful person who will vote our way. Besides, she likes us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Lya likes everyone. That's the Nox way.

Samantha Carter: I thought the Nox were pacifists?
Lya: I only hide the weapon. I did not fire it.
Samantha Carter: Ah. Pretty fine line you didn't cross.

"Stargate SG-1: Nightwalkers (#6.5)" (2002)
[Sam, Teal'c and Jonas are sitting in a restaurant/coffee shop located in a small town, where they are investigating the disappearance of Richard Flemming]
Jonas: Don't tell me you haven't noticed how strangely the people have been acting around here.
Sam Carter: What are you talking about?
Jonas: Well for instance, that man there right behind Teal'c, he doesn't realize it, but he just put eight cubes of sugar into his coffee, and that lady over at the counter, she's been reading the same article for a half an hour. Since we sat down, that waitress has dropped her tray twice, the cook has gotten three wrong orders *including* my hamburger, which I ordered medium rare, but is in fact well done. I've been noticing similar behavior all morning. It's like, uh, the entire town is half asleep.

[Jonas is having a burger, fries, and milkshake for lunch. Sam arrives just in time to see him dunk a fry in the shake and eat it]
Sam Carter: Nice... lunch.
Jonas: Mmmm. I'm really starting to enjoy this, uh, "Traditional American Food." Mmm.
Sam Carter: We have another tradition. It's called "hardened arteries".

Sam Carter: You knew who Adrian Conrad was didn't you.
Jonas: Well I've memorized all of your mission reports. I just don't want people around here thinking I'm... strange.
Sam Carter: People don't think your strange.
Jonas: What about Colonel O'Neill?
Sam Carter: [pause] Let's get some lunch.

"Stargate SG-1: Lost City: Part 1 (#7.21)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: And then it will overwhelm his nervous system, and the colonel will...
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushin' up daisies here and there?

Major Samantha Carter: [Takes a folded up crossword puzzle from Jack] The fate of the world is hanging in the balance and you've been sitting in your truck finishing this?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I believe it was double or nothing.
Major Samantha Carter: OK, 23 across, the atomic weight of Boron. The answer is ten.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yes?
Major Samantha Carter: You wrote the word 'fat.'
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Your point?

Major Samantha Carter: [Daniel suspects that Jack has just completed a crossword puzzle using the Ancient's language, and Sam is studying it] The clue for 7 down is 'celestial body', and he wrote 'Uma Thurman'.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [in a content voice, smiling] Yes.

"Stargate SG-1: Affinity (#8.7)" (2004)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Teal'c, how do Jaffa couples handle their problems?
Teal'c: On Chulak, a dispute between a man and a woman that cannot be resolved necessitates a pledge break. It must be requested by one and granted by the other.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And if that doesn't work?
Teal'c: A weapon is required.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Carter.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sir?
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: I never thought I'd hear myself utter these words. I need that report.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: I'm joking. I don't need the report.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, then why...
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Because something's goin' on with you. You haven't tried to confuse me with any scientific babble for the last couple of days and that's a red flag to me.

"Stargate SG-1: Fallen (#7.1)" (2003)
[Jonas runs panting into the office]
Jonas Quinn: I got it!
Major Samantha Carter: Hopefully it's not contagious.

Major Samantha Carter: Do you have a gate address?
Jonas Quinn: There's a reference and some partial translations that Doctor Jackson was working on from the library of the four races. It talks about a city of the Ancients called Vis Uban as being a place where plague began. This was gonna be the crown jewel in the entire Ancient domain, only it was still under construction when the plague broke out.
Major Samantha Carter: Two words: gate address.

Jack O'Neill: All I'm sayin', just for the record, this is the wackiest plan we've ever come up with.
[starts walking towards General Hamonds Office]
Major Samantha Carter: [as O'Neill passes] Wackier than strapping an active Stargate to the bottom of the X-302?
Jack O'Neill: [still walking] Oh, yeah.
Major Samantha Carter: [calling after O'Neill] Wackier than-than blowing up a sun?
Jack O'Neill: [over his shoulder] Yep.
Major Samantha Carter: [slightly resigned] He's probably right.

"Stargate SG-1: The Tok'ra: Part 2 (#2.12)" (1998)
Samantha Carter: Dad, have you ever heard of the Stargate program?
General Jacob Carter: No. Is that one of your satellites?
Samantha Carter: I don't work with satellites, Dad. That was just a cover.
General Jacob Carter: No kiddin'. I never would've guessed.

Saroosh/Selmak: Selmak is a wonderful Tok'ra. she is selfless and caring; she is good company; she has a wonderful sense of humor.
Samantha Carter: Well, that's good, Dad. You can sit around for hours cracking yourself up.

Jacob Carter/Selmak: Apparently, I'm the oldest and wisest among us.
Samantha Carter: Oh, geez.

"Stargate SG-1: Threads (#8.18)" (2005)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [O'Neill's arm is around her shoulders and she is leaning into him, for comfort] Thank you, sir.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: For what?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: For being here for me.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: [pauses and looks at her] Always.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sir, I wanted to talk to you about...
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Carter.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We haven't heard from him in a week.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Doesn't mean anything.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sir, we know he was captured by replicators. Chances are, he was on board a replicator ship when it disintegrated.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: All we know for sure is that he's missing.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sooner or later...
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Forget it! I'm not fallin' for it this time.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Falling for it?
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Yeah. How many times have you thought he was gone, and then he shows up... in one form or another? I'm sorry, but we're not having a memorial service for someone who is not dead.
[to the air]
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: You hear that? I'm not buyin' it!
[turns back to Carter who is staring at him]
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: What? He's just waitin' for us to say a bunch of nice things about him. Next thing ya know, he'll come waltzin' through that door, like, right now.
[they look at the door]
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Waltzing... now...

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: So... what brings you to this neck of the woods, on such a fine day, in my backyard?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well actually, I've been sitting in your driveway for the last ten minutes, trying to work up the nerve to come and talk to you. The truth is, I've been trying to work up the nerve for a lot longer than that.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Oh?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Pete put a downpayment down on a house. It's a beautiful house. But... The truth is, I'm having second thoughts about the wedding.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Why?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: See, the thing is, the closer it gets, the more I get the feeling that... I'm making a big, huge mistake.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Look Carter, I don't know what...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I'm sorry to bother you with this but, see, there's actually a good reason that I'm bothering you with this and if I don't tell you now, I might never...
Kerry Johnson: Jack, I looked everywhere, but I could not... Colonel Carter!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [coldly] Miss Johnson.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: We were just meeting here, in my backyard on this fine day to discuss the state of affairs.
[splashes beer everywhere]
Kerry Johnson: Well this is awkward.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Ya think?

"Stargate SG-1: 200 (#10.6)" (2006)
[in the Farscape sequence]
Vala Mal Doran: [as Aeryn Sun] Call me fahrbot, but they're gonna have our mivonks on a platter if we don't Starburst the draz out of here.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [as Crichton] The cluster's been damaged. We're not goin' anywhere.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Chiana] Oh, dren.
Teal'c PI Announcer: [as Ka D'Argo] Hezmana!
Vala Mal Doran: [as Aeryn Sun] Frell.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [as Stark] Son of a hasmot!
Asgard: [as Dominar Rygel XVI] Yotz!

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [re: the number of mission files] No, I'm pretty sure it's 1,263. Pretty sure I've read all the files recently.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Actually, you haven't read 30185.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: 30185. What's that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We can't tell you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What do you mean, you can't tell me? I have the highest security clearance known to mankind. What is 30185?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We were sworn to secrecy.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Why even mention it to me if you're not gonna tell me what it is?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Sorry.
Vala Mal Doran: Can you tell me?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh yeah, we can tell you.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, it has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well that can't have anything to do with me. I wasn't born until a year later!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, it was *nine months* before he was born.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [taken aback] What?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You hafta remember, it was the sixties.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: C'mon. You have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Jack. O'Neill?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you thought you weren't going to get in? How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
Vala Mal Doran: [Giggles] Wait, are you saying that Jack O'Neill is...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: -my daddy?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's all stating to make sense now, isn't it?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh, I'm being punk'd, aren't I?

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Do you really think the best way to introduce the heroes of this story is to show them causing a massive catastrophe?
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: That's... realistic.

"Stargate SG-1: Prototype (#9.9)" (2005)
Sam Carter: The Ascendometer says Khalek's about eighty-percent there.
Teal'c: Ascendometer?
Sam Carter: Mitchell. Wish I'd thought of it.

Sam Carter: A normal human brain, you or I, say, should show roughly five to ten percent coverage.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Me being five, you being ten

Sam Carter: As far as our computer is the dialing sequence to P3X 584 ran perfectly normal.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Except for the fact we ended up 12,000 light years off course.

"Stargate SG-1: Family Ties (#10.18)" (2007)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: But the truth is the Stargate program just doesn't get the support it used to from the people in charge.
Jacek: Why not?
Dr. Bill Lee: Eureka! One down, twelve to go.
Jacek: That's too bad because after all your Stargate program has accomplished for this network of planets, I would think that the decision makers would show it the respect it deserves.

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [Carter and Vala are carrying shopping bags] So, what is this, girls' day out?
Vala Mal Doran: Well, yes, if I'm going to integrate into Earth society, we thought it was very important that I immerse myself in the local cultural offerings.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Uh, and by "cultural offerings", you mean...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Pedicures, mochaccinos, and Victoria's Secret.

Jacek: Say, how'd you like to go out to dinner with me once this is all is over?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh, I don't think so.
Jacek: Why not?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, I'm an incredibly busy person with very little free time. Oh, And you're a jerk!
Jacek: Oh, of course there's that.

"Stargate: Atlantis: Reunion (#4.3)" (2007)
Teal'c: On the day I left Chulak, Master Bra'tac said to me, "Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you."
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: That's good advice. Still, I know I'm gonna miss this place, and all of you.
Teal'c: [smiling] I would have been offended had you felt otherwise.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Ten years is a long time.
Teal'c: It has been ten years well-spent. We have defeated numerous enemies and overcome many threats.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [shy smile, eyes tearing up] It was never dull.
Teal'c: We have accomplished much here. But now it is Atlantis that is in need of you.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [head down, under her breath] Yeah...
[head up, normal tone]
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Part of me is looking forward to going, but there's another part of me that thinks maybe it's too soon that I- that I'm leaving my work here unfinished.
Teal'c: Your work will continue, only in a different place. You have been bestowed an incredible honor, Colonel Carter. And I believe you should embrace it. And know this: though we may not be leaving with you, SG-1 will never be far away.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [nodding with a smile] So I can expect you guys to come visit sometime?
Teal'c: Undomesticated equines could not keep me away.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [hugging him with a small laugh] Nice callback.
Teal'c: [eyes tearing up] Indeed.

Ronon Dex: I hear you're in charge.
Colonel Samantha Carter: [somewhat confused, glances from McKay to Ronan]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Ah... Ronan, this is Colonel Carter. Sam, this is Ronan, he's...
Colonel Samantha Carter: Satedan.
[walking around desk to be closer to them]
Colonel Samantha Carter: And... a member of your team, of course. What can I do for you?
Ronon Dex: Uh, I wanna bring some friends to Atlantis and apparently I've gotta clear it through you first.
Colonel Samantha Carter: Unfortunately, some new security procedures prevent me from allowing any off-world visits to Atlantis for the time being.
Ronon Dex: Under whose authority?
Colonel Samantha Carter: [beginning to feel challenged] It was a directive from the IOA.
Ronon Dex: Well they don't need to know.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [somewhat in scolding way, attempting to intervene on Carter's behalf] Ronan, she's uh...
Colonel Samantha Carter: [holds up hand to stop McKay] I'm sure you understand what a precarious position we're in here. It is imperative that the location of this base remains a secret.
Ronon Dex: And it will. They're my people, I'll vouch for them.
Colonel Samantha Carter: [with a sigh] I'm sure you can. But for now, we're on a new planet with a new set of rules.
Ronon Dex: And a new person in charge.
[takes a few steps toward Carter, so he is just close enough to intimidate]
Ronon Dex: Weir never would have doubted me.
Colonel Samantha Carter: [small laugh and a sigh] Okay, first of all, Ronan, I'm not doubting you. These new regulations apply to everyone on this base. And secondly,
Colonel Samantha Carter: I'm not Dr. Weir.
[Ronan walks away, leaving Carter a little stunned; she turns to McKay]
Colonel Samantha Carter: Wow. Is he always like that?
Dr. Rodney McKay: No. No,
[nodding with a sigh]
Dr. Rodney McKay: uh, actually, you... you caught him on a good day.

Colonel Samantha Carter: [genuinely welcoming] Hey, Rodney, come on in.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Ah. I brought you a
[pointing to flowers in his hand]
Dr. Rodney McKay: little something to spruce up the place.
Colonel Samantha Carter: Well thank you, that's very sweet. There's a... a vase right there.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Hmm.
[watches her walk off, then turns and sees the fruit basket he was going to give her]
Colonel Samantha Carter: [sees he is looking at the fruit basket and points to it] Oh, uh, Col. Sheppard dropped that off.
[as she unpacks further]
Colonel Samantha Carter: Apparently, it's a sampling of fruit from the home worlds of our various trading partners.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [looking somewhat confused] Hm.
Colonel Samantha Carter: I thought it was a really thoughtful gesture.
Dr. Rodney McKay: [under his breath] Son of a...
[drops flowers into vase unceremoniously, then turns with a smile]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Anyway, look, I just, uh, came by to, uh, welcome you to Atlantis, see how you're settling in, and... uh... see if you needed anything, and... uh... did I mention I was seeing someone.
Colonel Samantha Carter: [somewhat baffled, but with little outward change of face] I'm sorry, what?
Dr. Rodney McKay: I'm, uh, seeing someone. Yeah. I- I- I only bring it up now, because you're here... now... and we'll be working together a lot more, and... uh... you know, I- I just thought... with our past...
Colonel Samantha Carter: [confused] Our... past...?
Dr. Rodney McKay: You know, the unrequited lust that's been hanging over our heads for what seems like forever...
[self-conscious laugh]
Colonel Samantha Carter: [with an argumentative tone, shaking her head in disbelief] Rodney...
Dr. Rodney McKay: You know, I just don't want things to be awkward between the two of us, you know, uh...
[pauses and shifts eyes]
Dr. Rodney McKay: Kind of like they are now.
Colonel Samantha Carter: [frustrated sigh] Rodney,
Colonel Samantha Carter: I'm sure we'll be fine.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, of course, I just...
[gestures to self]
Dr. Rodney McKay: I'll be fine, I'm just...
[gestures to Carter]
Dr. Rodney McKay: with you...
[Ronan walks in, interrupting and saving him]

"Stargate: Atlantis: Grace Under Pressure (#2.14)" (2005)
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: The way I see it, you're scared. You're a little panicked, you're a lot lonely. You knew you could use some help, so your subconscious is manifesting the one person you know is smarter than you.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, I don't think so!
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Oh, don't start with me, McKay!
Dr. Rodney McKay: You are very clever, I will even give you brilliant; but there is brilliant, and then there's me.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Every time we've worked together you've been wrong and I've been right.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Even if that were true, and no-one is saying that it is, the fact that you could assert...
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Why else would I be here?
Dr. Rodney McKay: I don't know. Maybe one last romp before I die?
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: One last romp? Please, we never...
Dr. Rodney McKay: Okay, one first romp but it's romping that comes to mind, not your brains, blondie. Now you've got to admit I am a handsome man...
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: You're essentially arguing with yourself.

Dr. Rodney McKay: We make a good team, you and I.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Suuure...
Dr. Rodney McKay: No, I mean it. I really enjoy working with you. Always. I wonder why we never hooked up.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Well aside form the fact you're petty, arrogant and treat people badly?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yes?
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: No, that's pretty much it. Petty, arrogant, bad with people.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, but you find me attractive? Physically?
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Stick to working on my idea.
Dr. Rodney McKay: But this is my idea.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: How do you figure?
Dr. Rodney McKay: You don't exist. You think what my subconscious tells you to think. So really the idea was mine. Oh, wow. I'm arguing with myself about who had an idea first, me or me. I really am petty, aren't I?
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: And arrogant and bad with people, yes.

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: [McKay kisses Carter] You do realise what you're actually doing, right?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh come on! You're a figment of my imagination. The least you could do is take your top off.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter: Your subconscious mind knows I would never be into that.
Dr. Rodney McKay: You are the worst hallucination ever.

"Stargate SG-1: Full Circle (#6.22)" (2003)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: So... you seeing anybody?
Skaara: [laughs] Maybe.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Really? It serious?
Skaara: [chuckles] We are betrothed.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Trust me, that's serious. Congratulations.
Skaara: Thank you.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I assume my invitation got lost in the mail, or...
Skaara: I wanted to ask you to shal'oki.
[sees that Jack is completely oblivious]
Skaara: To stand beside me.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [looks uncomfortable] Just... during the ceremony, right?
Skaara: Yes, yes.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'd be honored.
Skaara: Will you be coming to my wedding alone?
[Major Carter approaches]
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Uhmmm... I assume Carter's invited, too?
Skaara: Of course!
[looks at both O'Neill and Carter]
Skaara: Will you be coming together?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: As in...?
Major Samantha Carter: Friends, going to a wedding.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Ah! Yes. Sure!
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Jonas.
[walks off, as Skaara and Carter grin]

Jonas Quinn: Did he tell you where we can find the eye?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Uh, he doesn't know.
Major Samantha Carter: He doesn't know?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I know! Personally, I think this whole "ascension" thing is a bit overrated.

Major Samantha Carter: The only thing we can assume is that Anubis didn't keep his deal with Daniel.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: That's a shock, eh?

"Stargate SG-1: Redemption: Part 2 (#6.2)" (2002)
Dr. Rodney McKay: Why wait? Why does the guy show up a day-and-a-half after this all starts to do his whole "Prepare to meet your doom" thing?
Major Samantha Carter: I don't know. Maybe he wanted to make sure it was gonna work.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah, that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it? "Nothing can stop the destruction that I bring upon you!" Then the gate shuts down. "Oops, sorry. Never mind."

Major Samantha Carter: [incredulously] So what? We call Anubis up and *ask* him to stop?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah. "Hey, Anubis. This is your agent. You're playing it way over the top. Can you get serious, please?"

"Stargate SG-1: Proving Ground (#5.13)" (2001)
Major Samantha Carter: [about a group of trainees] Try to remember when you were in their shoes.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I wore boots.

Major Samantha Carter: Sir, if you don't mind, your wound is getting all over my lab.

"Stargate SG-1: Need (#2.5)" (1998)
Sam Carter: Sir, I think it has something to do with the Goa'uld that invaded me. Lately I - I get this weird feeling when I'm near Teal'c.
Jack O'Neill: Hey, who doesn't?

Sam Carter: [Daniel returns to the mines in royal robes after being healed, visiting the remaining SG1 members who presume him dead] Hi guys Daniel Ow... wow... surprisingly difficult to kill you isn't it? We are pleased to see you Daniel Jackson

"Stargate SG-1: Flesh and Blood (#10.1)" (2006)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Thank you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: You're welcome. Yeah, I was gonna say, "no sweat," but, there was definitely sweat involved. In Kvasir's case, I think it was perspiration.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [floating in space, over radio to Mitchell] Ah... if you're thinking what I think your thinking, it won't work.

"Stargate SG-1: Exodus (#4.22)" (2001)
Major Samantha Carter: This is the sun that Vorash is orbiting. It's a regular main sequence star with a core temperature of about fifteen million degrees and enough hydrogen to burn for another five billion years.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yeah?
Jacob Carter/Selmak: We wanna blow it up.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Wow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That's, uh...
Colonel Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson: Ambitious.

Major Samantha Carter: I've just never blown up a star before.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Well, they say the first one's always the hardest.

"Stargate SG-1: New Order: Part 1 (#8.1)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: So, you wanna talk?
Teal'c: Concerning what subject?
Major Samantha Carter: I don't know. How's Rya'c?
Teal'c: Fine.
Major Samantha Carter: You still keeping in touch with Ishta?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Major Samantha Carter: Bra'tac?
Teal'c: Bra'tac is well.
Major Samantha Carter: Come on, Teal'c. Throw me a bone here.
Teal'c: How is Pete Shanahan?
Major Samantha Carter: He's fine.

[Fifth is torturing Sam]
Major Samantha Carter: Part of being human is having compassion, learning to forgive.
Fifth: Yes. I'm not there yet.

"Stargate SG-1: Company of Thieves (#10.9)" (2006)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: It's the wrong one! You can't just jam it in!
[Vala jams in the small crystal. The power grid activates. Carter stares at it in surprise]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: How did you do that?
Vala Mal Doran: Honestly? I don't know. That almost never normally works.

Vala Mal Doran: Our only chance is to take this ship back.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I have an idea about that, but it's pretty risky.
Vala Mal Doran: It's probably better than our plan.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, what's your plan?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We don't have one.

"Stargate SG-1: The Nox (#1.7)" (1997)
Jack O'Neill: Wasn't I just...?
Samantha Carter: Killed.
Jack O'Neill: Killed as in...
Samantha Carter: Dead.
Jack O'Neill: Dead.
Samantha Carter: Yeah, we know. We saw it happen. Same thing happened to us.
Jack O'Neill: Well, this is a surprise, then.

Samantha Carter: [Daniel is inspecting the burn hole in Carter's uniform] Hey! What are you looking at?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I felt that blast kill me. I mean, I thought I... I thought we were dead. Weren't we dead?
Samantha Carter: Yeah.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Okay. Well, I thought heaven would be a little more 'upscale.'
Samantha Carter: Uh, I don't think this is heaven.

"Stargate SG-1: Unending (#10.20)" (2007)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: See, what we need, is we need Superman to fly around the ship really, really fast.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh, if you only knew how ridiculous that was.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, it only sounds ridiculous till you hear yourself say, "I am trapped on a spaceship stuck in a time-dilation field."

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Just another routine trip to save the world sir.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran, Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Indeed.

"Stargate SG-1: 48 Hours (#5.14)" (2001)
Major Samantha Carter: [on phone with Daniel] Well, if the DHD could have prevented the problem, maybe the DHD can also fix it. Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?
[Daniel looks in at the negotiations]
Colonel Chekov: This is impossible at the moment.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [to Sam] Not without giving back Alaska.

Dr. Rodney McKay: I wish I didn't find you so attractive. I've always had a real weakness for dumb blondes.
Major Samantha Carter: Go suck a lemon.
Dr. Rodney McKay: Very sexy. Very, very sexy.

"Stargate SG-1: Memento Mori (#10.8)" (2006)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Nothin'. I just think it's funny how you're always losing your pants.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: I'm not always losing my pants. It's happened twice. Twice is not always.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: A member of this facility gets kidnapped unchallenged, it's no wonder he doesn't think we can protect him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: But we can protect him.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: What can you say? There's a downside to working for supervillains.

"Stargate SG-1: Prisoners (#2.3)" (1998)
Captain Samantha Carter: We need power.
Linea: There are many forms of power, my dear. Some more subtle than others.
Jack O'Neill: Well, for the moment, we just need the electrical kind.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: And she's just gonna hand it over?
Jack O'Neill: If we take her back with us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, can we just do that? I mean, we don't even know what she's in here for.
Captain Samantha Carter: What are *we* in here for?
Jack O'Neill: Jaywalking, I think.

"Stargate SG-1: Beachhead (#9.6)" (2005)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about Vala] So you're saying that she could be alive somewhere in the Ori home galaxy?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: It's possible.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we wanted to send them a message.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Considering their unique ability to maintain an active Stargate indefinitely and their force field capabilities, the President has authorized any and all means to complete the mission.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Oh boy, here I was trying to have a nuke-free career.

"Stargate SG-1: Message in a Bottle (#2.7)" (1998)
Samantha Carter: If Daniel's right, this artifact has been doing this since Neanderthals were still a dominant species on Earth.
Jack O'Neill: Ah, that takes me back.

Samantha Carter: You think it might be a booby trap?
Teal'c: Booby?

"Stargate SG-1: Crusade (#9.19)" (2006)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We didn't think we were ever going to make this work.
Cameron Mitchell: Make what work?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Well, since you disintegrated the Alteran communication stones and the base terminal in the kawoosh, we've been...
Cameron Mitchell: I'm sorry the what?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: The unstable vortex of a forming wormhole. Kawoosh.
Cameron Mitchell: Don't think I've ever heard you call it that before.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Since you've been gone, we've learned a few things about the Ori their followers may want to know about.
Vala Mal Doran: It doesn't matter what the truth is about the Ori. The people won't hear of it, no matter what you say.
Cameron Mitchell: Obviously some are suspicious enough to form a resistance.
Vala Mal Doran: You're talking about a handful of people compared to millions who wouldn't know the truth if it was standing right in front of them. It's all lies and propaganda as far as they're concerned: we're wrong, they're right, they're good, we're bad, we 'must' worship the Ori or die and they will fight until we are dead or they are. Period.

"Stargate SG-1: Touchstone (#2.14)" (1998)
Samantha Carter: And the high priest turns a series of calibrated rings which seem to determine meteorological conditions over the entire planet's surface.
General Hammond: Do we have any idea what makes it tick?
Jack O'Neill: That's why we'd like to go back, sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with some of her specialized do-hickeys.
General Hammond: Do-hickeys?
Jack O'Neill: I believe that's the technical term, sir.

Samantha Carter: Bear with me.
Jack O'Neill: Bearing...

"Stargate SG-1: Tin Man (#1.18)" (1998)
Sam 2: We are identical, right down to the mole on our...
Samantha Carter: Hey, hey! Shut up!

Harlan: Hubald, he was the creator of all this, but he died very early - too early. Took many secrets with him, so long ago.
Jack O'Neill: How long, exactly?
Harlan: Uh, exactly? 99,207,000 of your... hours.
Jack O'Neill: [immediately] Well, that's 11,000 years.
Samantha Carter: How did *you* know that?
Jack O'Neill: That's right?
Samantha Carter: [calculating] Yeah.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Wait, how did *you* know that?

"Stargate SG-1: Line in the Sand (#10.12)" (2007)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Coffee!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh, thank you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Don't get too excited. They packed us decaf by mistake.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: D'oh!

Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [after Carter was shot] Look, I've been thinking...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: No!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Yeah, I know, dangerous stuff.

"Stargate SG-1: Unnatural Selection (#6.12)" (2002)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: They didn't go for it.
Major Samantha Carter: They didn't approve the mission?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Well no, they did that. Once they knew the stakes and the whole fate of the universe stuff, both the President and Hammond realized we had no choice. He sends good luck, God speed and all those things he says when he thinks we're gonna die.
Major Samantha Carter: So what didn't they go for?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: The name I suggested.
Major Samantha Carter: For the ship?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yeah.
Major Samantha Carter: Yeah, sir, we can't call it the Enterprise.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Why not?

Colonel Jack O'Neill: [after being informed that the Replicators have reversed the effects of the Time-dillation device] Well I gotta tell ya, this changes things. Carter, how does this change things?
Major Samantha Carter: I don't know, sir... I guess it doesn't.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You mean, we got the same problem we had an hour ago?
Major Samantha Carter: Well the difference is, in that hour, four days have passed for the replicators. Depending on when they did this, relatively speaking, they could have experienced hundreds of years.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I get it.
Thor: If you wish to reconsider...
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No, no. I full-well expected the other shoe to drop eventually.
Thor: We can only hope that this will be the last footwear to fall.

"Stargate SG-1: Avenger 2.0 (#7.9)" (2003)
Samantha Carter: We've got trouble.
Jay Felger: W-what-what kind of trouble? What?
Samantha Carter: Think "Bolivia".

Jay Felger: It's pretty cool, isn't it? You and I working together? We're sort of like the intellectual Butch and Sundance of the SGC.
Samantha Carter: Butch and Sundance got cornered and killed by the Bolivian army.

"Stargate SG-1: Fair Game (#3.3)" (1999)
Jack O'Neill: Certainly not those lyin', schemin', no-good-for-nothin', slimey, over-dressed...
Samantha Carter: Sir.
Jack O'Neill:
Samantha Carter: I'd like to try something.
Jack O'Neill: I wasn't finished.

Samantha Carter: [Referring to the system lords currently negotiating on Earth] I just hate having them here.
Jack O'Neill: Major, I hate having'em anywhere.

"Stargate SG-1: Forsaken (#6.18)" (2003)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [quietly singing to himself, walks up to Major Carter prepping a telescope] Lots of interesting nebulous things going on?
Major Samantha Carter: Yes, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [takes off sunglasses and peers into telescope, pause] I don't see squat.
Major Samantha Carter: Well, you wouldn't, sir... during the day.
[Jack clears his throat]
Major Samantha Carter: When the local sun sets and it gets dark, you can actually see a luminous layer of ionized gas around the dying core expanding.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Fascinating.
Major Samantha Carter: You don't care?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Hey, I like gas as much as the next guy.

Major Samantha Carter: Besides, all we're really doing is plugging your ship into my battery.

"Stargate SG-1: Spirits (#2.13)" (1998)
[a wolf has walked up]
Tonané: T'akaya, my friend. My your coat shines beautifully today.
[the wolf just looks at them]
Tonané: A little flattery couldn't hurt, Sam.
Samantha Carter: [Sarcastically] My, what big eyes you have.

Tonané: She's right there.
Samantha Carter: I can only see a wolf, Tonané. A-A beautiful animal, granted, but not a spirit.
Tonané: You can't see the wind either, Sam, but you know it's there. You can hear it, you can feel it, you can see its effects on the trees. It's the same with the spirits. You see a wolf, but T'akaya is there.

"Stargate SG-1: Hathor (#1.13)" (1997)
Samantha Carter: [after knocking Hammond unconscious] Yeah, my career is over.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Don't worry about it. I can fix him up as good as new when this thing's over.
Samantha Carter: Great, so he can bring me up on charges.

Samantha Carter: Why do I feel like I'm in a women behind bars movie?

"Stargate SG-1: The First Commandment (#1.5)" (1997)
Daniel Jackson: This tastes like chicken.
Sam Carter: So what's wrong with it?
Daniel Jackson: It's macaroni and cheese.

Jack O'Neill: Look, I'm no expert on this thing. I generally remember one Commandment, I think it's the first.
Sam Carter: "I am the Lord, your God, and you shall take no other Gods before me"?
Jack O'Neill: Okay, it's not the first one.

"Stargate SG-1: Space Race (#7.8)" (2003)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Major Carter has been invited on a dangerous space race in exchange for alien technology] You really think this is worth it?
Major Samantha Carter: Absolutely!
[pauses packing]
Major Samantha Carter: Why? Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: N-no-yeah. I just- You just seem unusually... gung-ho.
Major Samantha Carter: "Gung-ho"?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: This is kinda more than about attaining new technology for you, isn't it?
Major Samantha Carter: You mean helping Warrick? He did once risk his life for me.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yeah, I heard that. I just think that there's something else.
Major Samantha Carter: Look, I know that this could be dangerous. But this is our job, right? It's what we signed on to do. We take risks in the hopes of achieving new levels of technology. If- and I stress 'if'- participating in this race happens to be a little bit...
[inhales through her teeth, faining ignorance]
Major Samantha Carter: ... I dunno...
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Fun?
Major Samantha Carter: [grins, shrugs] What's a girl to do?

Major Samantha Carter: What is this?
Warrick: A complete operations manual for the Seberus. I had it translated for you.
Major Samantha Carter: Thank you.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: That's not our language.
Major Samantha Carter: It's mine, sir.

"Stargate SG-1: Lost City: Part 2 (#7.22)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: What's eight down?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um...label. With those empty spaces I think the answer is supposed to be identification. Thirteen across is sphere. Jack, this is it.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Now, see I assume we still speak the same language...mostly.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Sphere...planet.
Colonel Jack O'Neill:!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Praclarush taonas. I...I think you wrote the name of the planet we will find the Lost City in the crossword.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Bit of a jump?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Why else would you do that?
Major Samantha Carter: The clue for seven down is "celestial body" and he wrote Uma Thurman.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yes!

Samantha Carter: The clue for seven-down is "celestial body" and he wrote Uma Thurman.
Jack O'Neill: Yes.

"Stargate SG-1: Red Sky (#5.5)" (2001)
Major Samantha Carter: Sir, I've been thinking.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'd be shocked if you ever stopped, Carter.

Major General George Hammond: I thought the odds of success for this scenario were one in a million, Major?
Major Samantha Carter: Yes, sir. But I now think that we can increase that estimate to one percent.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: It's your call, General. I only understand about one percent of what she says half the time.

"Stargate SG-1: Fire and Water (#1.12)" (1997)
Samantha Carter: [about Daniel's stuff] I wonder what they're gonna do with all this stuff.
Jack O'Neill: Maybe give it to a museum. Or start one.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Memorial service?
Samantha Carter: The Colonel said some really nice things.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: He - he did. He did?

"Stargate SG-1: Enemies (#5.1)" (2001)
Major Samantha Carter: This way, sir. It's not far.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Carter, how do you know where to go in a place like this?
Major Samantha Carter: I studied the Tok'ra specs of the ship while we were on Vorash.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You know how to have a good time, don't you?
Major Samantha Carter: Havin' a good time now, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You go, girl.

Colonel Jack O'Neill: I believe someone said "We're not gonna make it!"
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Sam, let's get the hyperdrive running.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Excuse me. I distinctly remember someone saying "We're not gonna make it!" I think we made it.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: I'm sorry , I over-reacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren't going to make it.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yes, well, maybe next time you'll just wait and see.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What?
Major Samantha Carter: [grinning] Welcome to my life!
Colonel Jack O'Neill: What?

"Stargate SG-1: Moebius: Part 1 (#8.19)" (2005)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: We don't know where it is now, but we do know where it was: Giza, 3000 B.C.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You can't be serious.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: What?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It's the only way.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: What?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: No, we agreed.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: If I have to say "what" one more time, heads are gonna roll!

[in an alternate timeline, Carter is practicing a speech]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [as Dr. Carter] Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't- God that's horrible! Who would ever say that?

"Stargate SG-1: It's Good to Be King (#8.13)" (2005)
[about to start up a ship with a time machine]
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: How do we know we're not gonna end up back at the Alamo?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Uh, well for one thing, that was on Earth.

Teal'c: It is quite a distance from the village.
Harry 'King Arkhan The First' Maybourne: I enjoy long walks.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [smirking] Right, long walks, rainy nights, and
[with heavy sarcasm]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: candle lit dinners.

"Stargate SG-1: Point of View (#3.6)" (1999)
Dr. Samantha Carter: If the Asgard could design this to give the gate extra juice, then they're just the little green men we're looking for.
Jack O'Neill: They're grey, actually. Roswell grey to be exact.

Dr. Samantha Carter: You have to understand, my Jack had the same face, same voice, same hands.
Jack O'Neill: Which brings to mind an obvious question: How could you marry such a loser?

"Stargate SG-1: Desperate Measures (#5.11)" (2001)
Jack O'Neill: You alright?
Major Samantha Carter: Yeah. Very dramatic, thank you.
Jack O'Neill: You bet.

Major Samantha Carter: Sir, are you okay?
Jack O'Neill: I've been shot, Carter.
Major Samantha Carter: I know. Your vest stopped one of the bullets.
Jack O'Neill: I want sleeves on my vest.

"Stargate SG-1: The Serpent's Venom (#4.14)" (2000)
[on a mine]
Major Samantha Carter: Uh, it's flashing green. Green is good?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No.
Major Samantha Carter: Bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Bad.
Major Samantha Carter: How bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Very, very bad.
Major Samantha Carter: Dad!

Jacob Carter/Selmak: Then enter the right combination.
Major Samantha Carter: We tried. What does Selmak say?
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Try again.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Very helpful.

Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008) (V)
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: It's kind of weird not having a big bad guy to fight anymore.
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter: Yeah, that's how we felt when we defeated the Goa'uld. And The Replicators. The first time...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Well Jackson and Vala took care of that.
Vala Mal Doran: That whole Ori thing was not our fault!
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Just take the blame. You get used to it.

Major Marks: We just dropped out of hyperspace.
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter: Funny, I was just thinking we couldn't get anymore screwed.

"Stargate SG-1: Summit (#5.15)" (2001)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So, how are you gonna get me in?
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Yu will be among the System Lords attending the meeting.
Major Samantha Carter: I thought you said he was going in as a slave.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: The System Lord, Yu.
Major Samantha Carter: Little joke there.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: [dryly] Funny.

"Stargate SG-1: Emancipation (#1.3)" (1997)
Samantha Carter: Daniel, find me an anthropologist that dresses like this, and I will eat this headdress.

"Stargate SG-1: The Torment of Tantalus (#1.10)" (1997)
Sam Carter: Where's Daniel?
Jack O'Neill: Oh, Ernest was showin' him a new toy.
Sam Carter: Really, what?
Jack O'Neill: Some fancy light show that may be the key to our existence or somethin' like that.

"Stargate SG-1: Heroes: Part 2 (#7.18)" (2004)
[Carter's Mem. Service Speech]
Major Samantha Carter: Janet Frasier was an extraordinary person. She was kind and funny and talented. Above all, she was courageous. Try as I might, I could not find the words to honor her. To do justice to her life. Thankfully, I got some help. While words alone may not be enough, there are some names that might do. We often talk about those that give their lives in the service of their country. And while Janet Frasier did just that, that's not what her life was about. The following are the names of the men and women who did not die in service, but who are in fact alive today because of Janet. Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Colonel Jack O'Neill, Teal'c, Sergeant Connie Smith,Major Ian Hules, Senior Airman Simon Wells. . .
[voice over for the documentary]

"Stargate SG-1: Foothold (#3.14)" (1999)
Samantha Carter: Maybourne, you are an *idiot* every day of the week. Why couldn't you have just taken one day off?

"Stargate SG-1: Death Knell (#7.16)" (2004)
Jacob Carter: This prototype should have been done weeks ago.
Major Samantha Carter: It's done. It's just not... finished.
Jacob Carter: Interesting distinction.

"Stargate SG-1: The Changeling (#6.19)" (2003)
Major Samantha Carter: Why don't you try a glass of warm milk?
Teal'c: I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at any temperature.

"Stargate SG-1: Past and Present (#3.11)" (1999)
Major Samantha Carter: You realise, of course, the implication?
Jack O'Neill: [Nods] No.

"Stargate SG-1: Point of No Return (#4.11)" (2000)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I hope it's important. I was right in the middle of translating that cuneiform tablet we found on P3L-255.
Major Samantha Carter: I still have to finish recalibrating MALP 3K sensors for long-term reconnaissance on P5X-3D7.
Teal'c: I was unable to complete my Kel no'reem.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I was just about to do something important.

"Stargate SG-1: The Devil You Know (#3.13)" (1999)
[after escaping "Hell"]
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Do you have any leave coming up?
Samantha Carter: Yeah, a little.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: I was thinkin' maybe we could take a little father/daughter vacation together.
Samantha Carter: That'd be great, Dad.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: I hear Alaska's cold this time of year.

"Stargate: Atlantis: Tabula Rasa (#4.6)" (2007)
Colonel Samantha Carter: All right, I think we're clear.
[She doubles over, trying to catch her breath]
Dr. Rodney McKay: [equally breathless] Oh, thank God! My lungs were about to give out! So what next?
Colonel Samantha Carter: I don't know. How do we find her?
Dr. Rodney McKay: Who?
Colonel Samantha Carter: [Sam grabs his left hand and points to his palm] Teyla! The one we just risked our lives for!
Dr. Rodney McKay: Right. Right. I don't know.
Colonel Samantha Carter: All right. We'll just have to search room by room. I mean, how big could this place possibly be?
[She walks towards a door, which slides open to reveal an outdoor balcony. She and Rodney walk out and stare, awestruck, at the sight of the city's many towers in front of them. They look at each other in horror]

"Stargate SG-1: Thor's Chariot (#2.6)" (1998)
Teal'c: The destruction of the hammer device to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible.
Jack O'Neill: General, I gave the order.
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Ph.D.: And I fired the staff at the machine.
Samantha Carter: And I... was there.

"Stargate SG-1: Ex Deus Machina (#9.7)" (2005)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Where are you gonna be?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Seattle.
Agent Malcolm Barrett: How the hell are you gonna get there?
[she gets beamed out]
Agent Malcolm Barrett: Prometheus.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Beats flying coach.

"Stargate: Atlantis: Quarantine (#4.13)" (2008)
Dr. Radek Zelenka: You know, I'm a little bit puzzled as to why Rodney hasn't solved this problem yet. He's been a little off his game lately.
Colonel Samantha Carter: Maybe he doesn't have access to a computer.
Dr. Radek Zelenka: Rodney without his computer? This I have yet to witness.

"Stargate SG-1: Watergate (#4.7)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Didn't you guys leave here in a submarine?
Major Samantha Carter: We, uh...
Daniel: The last thing I remember, we were being pulled into the...
Major Samantha Carter: Not really sure what happened, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Here's a thought: We just exchanged hostages. It's just a thought.

"Stargate SG-1: Crystal Skull (#3.21)" (2000)
Samantha Carter: Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you.
Jack O'Neill: No matter how dense.

"Stargate SG-1: Rules of Engagement (#3.9)" (1999)
Samantha Carter: Teal'c, what about these?
Teal'c: They are intar.
Jack O'Neill: Short for?
Teal'c: Intar.

"Stargate SG-1: A Hundred Days (#3.17)" (2000)
[O'Neill has been trapped on a planet whose gate has been buried]
Dr. Janet Fraiser: You miss him.
Samantha Carter: Yeah.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: Is this a problem?
Samantha Carter: No. No. Of course not.

"Stargate SG-1: Paradise Lost (#6.15)" (2003)
Teal'c: Major Carter.
Major Samantha Carter: Teal'c, this is the women's locker room.
Teal'c: It appears there is no one else here but you, and you are fully clothed.
Major Samantha Carter: True.

"Stargate: Atlantis: The Seer (#4.8)" (2007)
Richard Woolsey: How did you *know* the two Wraith ships would fire on each other?
Colonel Samantha Carter: I didn't. Are you going to put *that* in your report?
Richard Woolsey: It probably would be better if I didn't. There may be such a thing as being too thorough.
Colonel Samantha Carter: Right.

"Stargate SG-1: The Quest: Part 1 (#10.10)" (2006)
Ba'al: Why don't you do something? You're the Orici. You're supposedly possessed of significant powers. So snuff out the flame and get us on our way.
Adria: My abilities don't work that way.
Ba'al: Of course, how does the saying go? "All flash, no photo?"
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Actually, it's "All flash, no substance."
Ba'al: I prefer my version.
Adria: Would you care for a demonstration?
[Adria pauses then turns away]
Adria: Taking your life would be a waste of my time.
Ba'al: Which I suppose would be put to better use complaining?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Oh, geez, why don't you two just get a room!

"Stargate SG-1: Memento (#6.20)" (2003)
Samantha Carter: [talking about fixing the hyperdrive buffer] It's like a... a light bulb that's burned out. You can't just fix it.
Jack O'Neill: Do we... have any extra bulbs?
Colonel William Ronson: There is no redundancy for that particular system.
Jack O'Neill: So, you're saying there's no redundancy?
[Teal'c who's zoned out by now, looks back at O'Neill at that repetition]

"Stargate SG-1: Revelations (#5.22)" (2002)
Major Samantha Carter: We won't be able to activate the cloak until we come out of hyperspace. There'll be a brief interval where they might detect us.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: How brief?
Major Samantha Carter: Just a few seconds. The odds of them spotting us are pretty slim.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: How slim?
Major Samantha Carter: Hardly worth mentioning, sir.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: And yet, you did mention it.
Major Samantha Carter: Yeah. I'm beginning to wish I hadn't.

"Stargate SG-1: Tangent (#4.12)" (2000)
Major Paul Davis: Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, allow me to introduce to you Lieutenant General Vidrine.
General Vidrine: Colonel.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: General.
General Vidrine: Major.
Major Samantha Carter: General.
General Vidrine: Doctor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: General.

"Stargate SG-1: Metamorphosis (#6.16)" (2003)
Major Samantha Carter: Jonas, you are such a chickensh...
[alarms start going off]

"Stargate SG-1: Uninvited (#10.5)" (2006)
Teal'c: It is ironic that not so long ago, the mere presence of the Goa'uld on earth would have been cause for great concern.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Seriously. Who'd ever think that we'd have bigger fish to fry? Or that you'd use the word ironic in a sentence!
Teal'c: Indeed.

"Stargate SG-1: Entity (#4.20)" (2001)
Dr. Janet Fraiser: It is a very bad burn, Sam.
Major Samantha Carter: Five minutes.
Dr. Janet Fraiser: NOW.

"Stargate SG-1: Brief Candle (#1.8)" (1997)
Samantha Carter: How many babies have you delivered?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh... two. Uh, counting today.

"Stargate SG-1: Gemini (#8.11)" (2004)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: We need the Asgard to send us a disrupter satellite as soon as possible.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: I've already talked to him. He'll be there in thirty minutes, or it's free.

"Stargate SG-1: Evolution: Part 2 (#7.12)" (2003)
Master Bra'tac: Teal'c. Are you hurt?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Master Bra'tac: Where?
Teal'c: My pride. An old man did what I could not.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: Sam? Sam? No, don't move, just lie still. What hurts?
Major Samantha Carter: Everything.
Jacob Carter/Selmak: That's a good sign.

"Stargate SG-1: The Enemy Within (#1.2)" (1997)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: So this iris is gonna hold, right?
Sam Carter: Pure titanium, less than three micrometers from the event horizon. It won't even allow matter to fully reintegrate.
Jack O'Neill: So this iris is gonna hold, right?
Sam Carter: If it doesn't, the fail-safe device will detonate, this whole mountain will vaporize, and there'll be nothin' to worry about.
Jack O'Neill: Ah, good. I feel much better.

"Stargate SG-1: The Fourth Horseman: Part 1 (#9.10)" (2005)
Orlin: I no longer possess the power to simply cure this plague as I could have as an ascended being. However, with the knowledge I still retain, I believe I can synthesize a cure using your medical technology.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: You built a Stargate in my basement with the spare parts from a toaster.
Orlin: Actually, this will be a little harder than that.

"Stargate SG-1: Secrets (#2.9)" (1998)
Jack O'Neill: You know, I can navigate my way across a galaxy, but I get lost every time I come to Washington.
Samantha Carter: Don't worry, sir. These are my old stompin' grounds.
Jack O'Neill: Sorry to hear that.

"Stargate SG-1: Enigma (#1.16)" (1998)
Colonel Harry Maybourne: Wherever you send them, we will hunt them down.
Captain Samantha Carter: *We* are not sending them anywhere, sir. The gate was activated off-world. Someone is sending *for* them.

"Stargate SG-1: Bane (#2.10)" (1998)
Samantha Carter: All I'm saying is that, not withstanding what happened to Teal'c, there may be invaluable technology on that planet.
Jack O'Neill: Carter, there are *bugs* on that planet. Big, huge, ugly, honkin' bugs!

"Stargate SG-1: Zero Hour (#8.4)" (2004)
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: General.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: Colonel. We've all met.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Yes, actually we know each other's life stories.
Brigadier General Jack O'Neill: That snippiness?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Is that a word?

"Stargate SG-1: A Matter of Time (#2.16)" (1999)
Sam Carter: When you ordered Colonel O'Neill to wait 5 minutes, you were really telling him to wait 6 hours, maybe more!
General George S. Hammond: Captain, relativity gives me a headache!

"Stargate SG-1: Learning Curve (#3.5)" (1999)
Jack O'Neill: Okay, uh... fun is what you do to make yourself happy, like music, games. It's whatever you do when you're not learning to be a Rocket Scientist.
Merrin: I am here to teach Major Carter about the reactor.
Major Samantha Carter: sounds like fun to me.

"Stargate SG-1: Menace (#5.19)" (2002)
Major Samantha Carter: Maybe she has some sort of programming that prevents her from acknowledging she's anything but human.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Robot denial?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Looks that way.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Has it occurred to anyone that this thing may have been laying around that planet for quite some time and that maybe it's broken? Or perhaps it never worked right in the first place.
Major Samantha Carter: So you think we should just shut her down?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, I don't know. Let's ask the man who just had his head cracked open.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't think she meant to hurt me, I just don't think she liked what I was saying.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I don't like most of what you say but I try to resist the urge to shove you through a wall.

"Stargate: Atlantis: Trio (#4.16)" (2008)
Colonel Samantha Carter: You're doing great, Rodney. You're doing just great!
Dr. Rodney McKay: No, great is a beach with a fiber optic hook-up. This? This is complete agony!

"Stargate SG-1: The Other Side (#4.2)" (2000)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Alright, I'm here two hours early. When did you get here?
Major Samantha Carter: I haven't left yet.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Didn't I order you to get a life?

"Stargate SG-1: Scorched Earth (#4.9)" (2000)
Major Samantha Carter: Question is, will they listen?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Well, the real question is, will they have ears?

"Stargate SG-1: There But for the Grace of God (#1.19)" (1998)
Samantha Carter: I surrender! I have information that can help Apophis! There is technology he will want to know about! This is a remote control to an interdimensional portal. I can tell Apophis how to find it!
Jaffa: Hashak Kreyak!
Samantha Carter: [pulling out a grenade] Thank you. Oh yeah. I also wish to blow us all to hell.

"Stargate SG-1: The Serpent's Lair (#2.1)" (1998)
Master Bra'tac: Perhaps when the warships of your world attack, we'll be able to...
Samantha Carter: Eh, excuse me. Did you say 'the ships of our world'?
Master Bra'tac: Surely you have such vessels?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, we have a number of - of...
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Jack O'Neill: Shuttles.
Master Bra'tac: These... 'shuttles'... they are a formidable craft?
Jack O'Neill: Oh yeah. Yeah. Bad day.

"Stargate SG-1: Orpheus (#7.4)" (2003)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Teal'c, Rya'c, Bra'tac, and Rak'nor have all been taken prisoner] This is my fault.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: How's that?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: 'Cause I should have done something when I had the chance... when I had the power...
Colonel Jack O'Neill: I think we've already established that wouldn't've worked out either.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Nope! It's time for Plan B.
Major Samantha Carter: We have a Plan B?
Colonel Jack O'Neill: No, but it's time for one.

"Stargate SG-1: Within the Serpent's Grasp (#1.21)" (1998)
Jack O'Neill: I suggest the two of you figure out how get us back home.
Samantha Carter: Sir, the only way to do that would be to turn this thing around and go back to where we started.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right, I'll just go tell the pilot.

"Stargate SG-1: The Gamekeeper (#2.4)" (1998)
[SG-1 pops out the Gate in the middle of a beautiful garden]
Captain: This is beautiful.
Jack O'Neill: Yeah. But where there's a garden, there's snakes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: And flowers.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Way too many flowers.

"Stargate SG-1: Endgame (#8.10)" (2004)
Jennings: Where the hell did he come from?
Hoskins: He had the wrist device.
Jennings: Any chance there's more of them on board?
Hoskins: It only lets one person up at a time.
Brooks: [Voice filtered through radio] Hoskins, this is Brooks.
Hoskins: Go ahead.
Brooks: The cloak's been disabled. I don't know if I can get it back online.
Hoskins: [Into radio] This position is compromised. We need to get out of here now.
Brooks: Yes,sir.
Jennings: What about them?
Hoskins: We can't take them with us.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I don't mind going for a little ride.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: Me neither.
Hoskins: Sorry about this, Dr. Jackson.

"Stargate: Atlantis: Be All My Sins Remember'd (#4.11)" (2008)
Colonel Steven Caldwell: [Colonels of both earth ships beam into the control room of atlantis. To Ellis] Colonel.
Colonel Abe Ellis: [to Caldwell] Colonel.
Colonel Steven Caldwell: [to Samantha] Colonel.
Colonel Samantha Carter: [to both] Colonels.
Colonel Abe Ellis: [to Sheppard] Colonel.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: [to both] Colonels.
Dr. Rodney McKay: What, seriously?

"Stargate SG-1: Morpheus (#10.2)" (2006)
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I got it! I made the connection. Sir Gawain to Gwalchmei, Culhwch, and Olwen. Verus Gen Bree.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [to Cameron] And you say *I'm* hard to understand.

"Stargate SG-1: Singularity (#1.14)" (1997)
Jack O'Neill: Actually, it's called the accretion disk.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, I guess it's easy to understand why the local population would be afraid of something like-
[looks at Jack]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What did you just say?
Jack O'Neill: It's just an astronomical term.
Samantha Carter: You didn't think the Colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbors, did ya?
Jack O'Neill: Not initially.

"Stargate SG-1: Heroes: Part 1 (#7.17)" (2004)
Major Samantha Carter: So you do your interview with the documentary crew yet?
Teal'c: Indeed.
Major Samantha Carter: You know, I have to admit, I can't wait to hear what everyone else said.
Teal'c: I did not say much.
Major Samantha Carter: Really? That is surprising. It's usually so hard to shut you up.

"Stargate SG-1: 2010 (#4.16)" (2001)
Colonel Jack O'Neill: Let me tell ya somthin', Carter. You wanna erase your mistakes, that's your business. My conscience is clear. I warned everybody. I threw up the red flag and everybody, including you, shut me down.
Major Samantha Carter: I'm asking you to put that behind us.
Colonel Jack O'Neill: You're not happy with the way things turned out, I'm sorry to hear that. Personally, I like things the way they are. No more savin' the world, just a nice pond with no pesky fish in it. And the single most pressing issue in my life is whether or not to get a dog.

"Stargate SG-1: Prodigy (#4.19)" (2001)
Major Samantha Carter: What were you thinking breaking the nose of an upperclassman like that?
Air Force Cadet Jennifer Hailey: Swing high?

"Stargate SG-1: The Broca Divide (#1.4)" (1997)
[in a large extravagant room with big bull heads]
Jack O'Neill: Love what they've done with the place.
Captain Samantha Carter: I was gonna do my living room like this, but, it didn't go with my other stuff.