Quotes for
Harry Tasker (Character)
from True Lies (1994)

True Lies (1994)

[about Harry's daughter]
Gib: Do you think she's still a virgin?
Harry: Dont be ridiculous, she's only - -what is she now?
Gib: She's fourteen!
Harry: She's fourteen years old!
Gib: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.

[Harry has just returned from Helen's office and is shell-shocked]
Harry: Helen... Helen...
Gib: Helen...?
Harry: Helen...
Gib: It's got something to do with Helen, I'm guessing.
Harry: Helen...
Harry: Helen... is having an affair!
Gib: Welcome to the club, man!

[Harry is under the influence of a truth serum]
Samir: Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?
Harry: Yeah. I'm going to kill you pretty soon.
Samir: I see. How, exactly?
Harry: First I'm going to use you as a human shield. Then I'm going to kill this guard over here with the Patterson trocar on the table. And then I was thinking about breaking your neck.
Samir: And what makes you think you can do all that?
Harry: You know my handcuffs?
Samir: Mmm-hmm.
Harry: [holds up his hands] I picked them.
[Samir gasps. Harry springs up from his chair and grabs Samir, using him as a shield while he kills the guard, then breaks Samir's neck]

Harry: [holding Simon at the edge of an aquaduct] Son of a bitch, Did you think you can elude us forever, Carlos, huh?
Simon: Hey, you got the wrong guy! My name's Simon! Just let me go. There's no need to kill me. I haven't seen your...
[Harry and Gib remove their masks]
Simon: face. No, no, no I didn't see it, I didn't see it!
[realizes that it is Harry]
Simon: Oh, it's you! Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette at all?
Gib: Hey, Carlos? Game's over. Your career as an international terrorist is well documented.
Simon: No...
Gib: -Oh, yeah.
Simon: No...
Gib: Oh, yeah!
Simon: No!
Gib: OH, YEAH!
Simon: No, I sell cars! That's all! C'mon, I'm not a terrorist. I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun, I'd...
Harry: [Harry takes his gun out and points it in Simon's face]
Simon: [Whining and pleading] Oh God, no, please don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm navel lint! I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic!
[Harry and Gib gave Simon a weird look, then Simon pees his pants]
Simon: Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh? Please, I'm not worth a bullet. Oh, mercy sir!
Harry: [Disgusted] Get the fuck out of here. Just go, just beat it.
Simon: No, no, as soon as I turn, you're gonna shoot me! You're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me!
Gib: [Gib and Harry get into their van] Get lost, dipshit.
[fires a few rounds into the ground near Simon]

Harry: [trying to translate for Helen what Aziz is saying] In 90 minutes, the holy fire, will light up the skies.
[the terrorists are covering the nuclear warhead with an american flag and cement]
Harry: We will tell the the whole world, that we speak, the truth. No force can stop us now, we're cool, we're badasses, blah, blah, blah.
Helen Tasker: Honey, if we're on an island, why are they using trucks?
Harry: We must be in the Florida Keys. These are the islands that have highways that connect the islands to the mainland.
Helen Tasker: There's no borders, no customs. They can go anywhere in the U.S. They're will be no one to stop them.
Harry: But, us. Here take this
[hands Helen an Uzi]
Helen Tasker: Oh, shit.

Harry: [Loopy from the truth serum he's been given] Ask me a question I would normally lie to.
Helen Tasker: Are we gonna die?
Harry: Yep!
Helen Tasker: I'd say it's working.
Harry: They're gonna shoot us in the head or they gonna torture us to death or they gonna leave us here when the bomb blows up...
Helen Tasker: Harry!

Helen Tasker: Have you ever killed anyone?
Harry: Yeah, but they were all bad.

[while launching a Harrier missile, from which Salim Abu Aziz is hanging]
Harry: You're fired!

Harry: There *is* no us, you psychopathic bitch!

Harry: You tell on me, I tell on you.
Gib: What are you talking about, I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. I'm as clean as...
Harry: What about that time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job?
Gib: You knew about that?
Harry: Uh-huh.

Harry: The code name of your assignment will be... Boris. And your code name will be...
Helen Tasker: [hopeful] Natasha?
Harry: No... Doris.

Gib: Care to tango?
Faisil: Yes, I would.
Harry: Assholes.

Simon: Okay, just ask yourself: What do women really want? You take these bored housewives, married to the same guy for years, they're stuck in a rut, then need some release! Promise of adventure, a hint of danger. I create that for them.
Harry: So basically, your lying your ass off the whole time. See, I can't do that.
Simon: What are you, a boy scout? No, no, no, think of it as playing a role as fantasy. I mean, you got to work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily surburban grind for a few hours.
Harry: But what about their husbands?
Simon: Dickless! I mean, let's face it, if they took care of business, I'd be out of business! You know what I mean?
[laughs]
Harry: [fake laughs] Those idiots!

[Harry returns to the van after escaping the castle]
Harry: Hi guys.
Gib: Well that worked real good. Right out the old front gate.
Harry: Can you lean back a second...
[Harry shoots two remaining pursuers]

Harry: Can you hurry up. My horse is getting tired.
Gib: Your horse?

[Salim Abu Aziz reveals a nuclear weapon]
Salim Abu Aziz: Do you know what this is?
Harry: I know what this is...
[Salim smiles]
Harry: This is an espresso machine.
[Salim frowns]
Harry: No, no wait. It's a snow cone maker.
[Salim approaches Harry]
Harry: Is it a water heater?

Gib: [over radio] All right twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy?
Harry: I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.
Gib: [over radio] Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.

[Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter]
Gib: Harry, do you realize it has, in fact, been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?
Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.

Harry: Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.

[Harry sticks an unconscious terrorist's head in a bathroom urinal and flushes it]
Harry Tasker: Cool off.

[Harry lights up a cigarette and starts coughing]
Gib: Dickhead.
Harry: Blow me.

Party Guard: Can I see your invitation?
Harry: Sure, here's my invitation.
[blows shed sky-high]

Harry: [Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, notices something, and quickly pulls the car over to the side of the road and up onto the curb]
Gib: My turn to drive?
Harry: Give me the page!
Gib: What?
Harry: This jumps from page 9 to page 11.
Gib: [looks at paper] Must be a typo.
Harry: [shouts] Give me the goddamn page!
Harry: [smashes passenger side window with his bare fist]
Gib: [Gib looks at the window, and quickly grabs page 10 from his coat] OK.

Harry: [translating the terrorist celebrations for Helen] ... We're cool, we're badasses, blah, blah, blah.

Harry: What can I say? I'm a spy.

Simon: [hitting on a woman at the party] Here, let me pour you some more champaigne. I gotta keep up the waiter bit, these stakeouts can be a little tricky you know, you never know if things can explode to a life or death situation, just stay low and I'll contact you later. Maybe you should give me your tele...
Harry: [puts his hand in Simon] So, we meet again Carlos.
Helen Tasker: [puts her lipstick case under Simon's chin] Honey, I'm gonna do him right here.
Harry: [proudly] Go for it.
Simon: Oh god.
[pees in his pants]
Helen Tasker: Fear is not an option.
[Simon runs out of the party nervously screaming]

Harry: So who are you working on right now?
Simon: I always got a few on the line. But there's this one chick I got right now. I got her panting like a dog. Its great.
Harry: What does she do?
Simon: Some sort of legal secretary. Married to some boring jerk.
Harry: Married to some boring jerk.
Simon: Aww, but she could be so hot if she wanted to. She's like all these babes, you get their pilot lit, they could suck start a leafblower. And she's got the most incredible body too and a pair of titties that make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk. Ass like a ten year old boy! AHAHAHAHA!
Simon: [Harry punches him in the face instantly breaking Simon's neck and the daydream ends] AHAHAHAHAHA!

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