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[Napoleon answers the door and Deb is standing out there
: Um, hello. Would you like to look like this?
[holds out a photo
] Napoleon Dynamite
: [Napoleon takes the photo and looks at it
] This is a girl. Deb
: [Deb continues nervously
] Because for a limited time only, Glamour Shots by Deb are 75% off. Napoleon Dynamite
: I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral. Deb
: Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts?
[Scene continues after Rex Kwon Do TV ad Kip's watching
: ... And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion. Napoleon Dynamite
: I already made like infinity of those at scout camp.
: I could wrap you in some foam, or something billowy?
: What are you drawing? Napoleon Dynamite
: A liger. Deb
: What's a liger? Napoleon Dynamite
: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
: Are they still letting you run for president? Pedro
: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.
: I'm trying to earn money for college. Kip
: [from the background
] Your mom goes to college.
[Deb is making a glamour shot of Uncle Rico
: Okay, turn you head on more of a slant...
[all three turn their heads in a slant
: Now, make a fist. Slowly ease it up underneath your chin.
[all three slowly ease up fists under their chins
: This is looking really good. Kip
: You can say that again.
[Uncle Rico acknowledges
: Kay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses.
[Uncle Rico pictures it and give a gleaming look at the camera
: [takes the picture
] That was the one. I think that's gonna come out really nice. Uncle Rico
: Ah, how you did it... wow... well I felt really relaxed. Thanks Deb.
[Uncle Rico puts his fist down, then swats a fly
] Uncle Rico
: You're up Kip. Kip
: Is there some kind of vest that I can wear?
[makes gesture of putting on a vest
[Napoleon and Deb are dancing
] Napoleon Dynamite
: I like your sleeves. They're real big. Deb
: Thank you. I made them myself. Napoleon Dynamite
: So are you and Pedro getting really serious now? Deb
: No. We're just friends.
: It's Deb. And I'm calling to let you know I think you're a shallow friend. Napoleon Dynamite
: What the heck are you even talking about? Deb
: Don't lie, Napoleon. Your Uncle Rico made it very clear how you feel about me. I don't need herbal enhancers to feel good about myself. And if you're so concerned about that, why don't you try eating some yourself?
[Deb hangs up on him
: [Stunned, Napoleon hangs up and goes out to confront Uncle Rico
: [speaking to Pedro and Deb
] Are you guys having a killer time? Deb
: This Scantronica stuff is a pile of bull! Technology will never fulfill my desires. Deb
: What did you put for "walks on the beach"? Long or short? Napoleon
: I hate the beach. Deb
] Yeah, me too. Napoleon
: If you ask me, there's only two questions that matter for compatibility; "What's your favorite kind of hawk?" and "How many do you own?"