Paul Vitti
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Quotes for
Paul Vitti (Character)
from Analyze This (1999)

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Analyze This (1999)
Boss Paul Vitti: You're turning me down?
Dr. Ben Sobel: When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind.
Boss Paul Vitti: You, with your schmucky little office in your schmucky little home, you're turning *me* down? For what, so you can go back and listen to housewives piss and moan about how nobody fucks 'em right anymore?

Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] If I talk to you, and you turn me into a fag... im gonna kill you , you understand?

Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still fucked up! You did fucking NOTHING for me!
Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Viti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don't have time for your BULLSHIT!... That got away from me at the end there.

Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
Boss Paul Vitti: No.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?
Boss Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?
Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, that's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.
Boss Paul Vitti: Fuckin' Greeks.

Dominic: Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.
Boss Paul Vitti: What, am I supposed to get a fuckin' website?

Boss Paul Vitti: You know me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
Boss Paul Vitti: No you don't.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Okay.
Boss Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
Boss Paul Vitti: No you didn't.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper.

Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't really gonna whack you.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Paul...
Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Let me get this straight: you flew all the way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in the middle of the night just because you couldn't get an erection?
Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated?
Dr. Ben Sobel: You know, you can take a pill for that.
Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing you know you're putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should be achieved legitimately or it shouldn't be achieved at all.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn't he?

Dr. Ben Sobel: They threw me in the shark tank, Paul! The shark tank!
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, they were trying to make a point.
Dr. Ben Sobel: What, that you're a scary guy? Believe me, I get it.

Boss Paul Vitti: [telling Ben about a dream after Jelly promises not to listen] My wife wakes me up, it's the middle of the night, the baby's crying. I go to the refrigerator to get a bottle of milk, and the milk is black.
Jelly: That's fuckin' weird.

Boss Paul Vitti: I can feel the juices rushing back to my balls as we speak.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear another man say to me.

Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" a lot, do you?
Boss Paul Vitti: Well, I hear it all the time, only it's more like "no, please, no!"

Boss Paul Vitti: I was Fredo? I don't think so.

Boss Paul Vitti: [to the "Captain"] Hey, why don't you look over that way before I bust you in your fuckin' head.

Boss Paul Vitti: Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine, they're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that. And I'm... and I'm trying to get some... some...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [whispering] "Closure"
Boss Paul Vitti: ...closure on that, ya know?
Primo: What kind of feelings?
Boss Paul Vitti: I'm... I'm very angry, I'm feeling very angry about that. I'm... I'm really... uh... I'm enraged, I'm feeling very, very mad about that.
Primo: So why are you telling me?
Boss Paul Vitti: Why am I telling you? Like you don't know nothing about it, huh? You don't know... what?
Primo: I don't know what your talking about.
Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, whatever, whatever. I'm just trying to...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [Whispering] "Tell you about my feelings..."
Boss Paul Vitti: ...tell you about my feelings and that, uh...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [Whispering] "I'm angry..."
Boss Paul Vitti: ...I'm angry and... and that anger is a...
Dr. Ben Sobel: [Whispering] "Blocked wish...?"
Boss Paul Vitti: ...a blocked wish. And I'm looking forward to seeing you... next week at that thing, and then I can... unblock that angered wish... and then hopefully... hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker I'll fuckin' cut your fuckin' balls off I'll shove them up your fuckin' ass, I'll fuckin' bury you, I'll put fuckin' ice picks in your eyes, I'll chop your fuckin' eyeballs, I'll send them to your fuckin' family so they can eat 'em for dessert. You understand me?
Primo: Hey Paul...
Boss Paul Vitti: What?
Primo: Fuck you.
Boss Paul Vitti: You motherfucker!
Primo: [to Moony] You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. If that's what he's going to hit us with, I want to know what it is
Boss Paul Vitti: [to Dr. Sobel] Yeah. How was that?
Dr. Ben Sobel: It was going great until the... cutting off of the balls and shoving it up his ass.

Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do when I'm angry? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.
[Vitti pulls out a gun and shoots a pillow]
Boss Paul Vitti: There's your fuckin' pillow.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?
Boss Paul Vitti: Yeah, I do.

Boss Paul Vitti: I couldn't get it up last night.
Dr. Ben Sobel: You mean sexually?
Boss Paul Vitti: No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the fuck's the matter with you?

Boss Paul Vitti: Fuck Freud.

[Ben rushes up to Paul's room after Jelly throws a hit man off the balcony onto the wedding party]
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, people get depressed, they jump. But that ain't my fault.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, so you're telling me it was suicide?
Boss Paul Vitti: I don't know, he probably left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?
Jelly: [taking out a pen] Uh no, but they will in a minute.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't fucking take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy."
Jelly: Hey, that's good, Doc.

[Paul is anxious about his impotence]
Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times...
Boss Paul Vitti: Eight times.
Dr. Ben Sobel: ...eight times, is not catastrophic.
Boss Paul Vitti: Well, maybe not to you, look at you. But if I can't get it up, that makes me less of a man, and I can't have that. In my world I deal with animals, Doctor. They may seem dumb to an educated guy like you, but make no mistake, Doctor, animals are very cunning, and they sense weakness.

Boss Paul Vitti: [narrating] 1957 was a big year. The Russians put that Sputnik into outer space, the Dodgers played their last game at Ebbets Field to say goodbye to Brooklyn, that guy shot Frank Costello in the head, and missed, and the Gallo brothers whacked Albert Anastasia in the barber shop of the Sheraton View hotel. It was total chaos. With Anastasia out of the way, Vito Genovese figures he's the big boss. But Carlo Gambino and Joe Bananas, they had other ideas. So they called a meeting. A big meeting.

[Vitti is trying to forgive Primo for attempting to whack him]
Boss Paul Vitti: And hopefully, hopefully... if you make one more move on me, you motherfucker, I'll fuckin' cut your fuckin' balls off and shove 'em up your fuckin' ass. I'll fuckin' bury you! I'm gonna stick ice picks in your eyes and send 'em to your family so they can eat them for dessert!
Primo: Hey, Paul.
Boss Paul Vitti: What?
Primo: Fuck you.
Boss Paul Vitti: [throws down phone] That motherfucker!

Boss Paul Vitti: That's very good, here's you
[imitates Ben]
Boss Paul Vitti: "Oh, thats interesting. How does that *feel* to you? Anger is a blocked wish. Boo fuckin' hoo hoo."

Dr. Ben Sobel: That's it! Over! I'm no longer your doctor!
Boss Paul Vitti: What? 'Cause of this?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Because of this little DOUBLE HOMICIDE? YES!

Scott MacNamara: You're Paul Vitti. The Mobster
Boss Paul Vitti: Now is that polite? Is that nice? I'm tryin' to be nice over here. Do I go up to you and say, "Hey, you're so-and-so, the Hard-On?"

Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, you said you were fighting. You were rebelling against his authority. There may have been some unresolved Oedipal conflict.
Boss Paul Vitti: English.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.
Boss Paul Vitti: Fuckin' Greeks.

Dr. Ben Sobel: But the black milk dream is also about your father.
Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, I don't buy that. In the dream, I'm bringing the baby the black milk.
Dr. Ben Sobel: But let's just say that you are the baby. Freud believed you're everyone in your dreams.
Boss Paul Vitti: Ah fuck Freud. After what you just told me, you know, I'm afraid to call my own mother on the phone!

Boss Paul Vitti: The other day, I was watching a commercial with a kid playing with a couple of puppies, I cried for forty five minutes! You slap a pair of tits on me, I'm a woman!

Boss Paul Vitti: So, did you take care of that thing I asked you about?
Carlo Mangano: It's all right to talk business in front of your friend?
Boss Paul Vitti: It's okay.
Carlo Mangano: I took care of it.
Boss Paul Vitti: How about the other thing?
Carlo Mangano: I got to wait for the first thing to come through, before I can move on the second thing.
Boss Paul Vitti: That guy give you a problem or...?
Carlo Mangano: The guy on the first thing?
Boss Paul Vitti: Yeah.
Carlo Mangano: He's a lunatic.
Boss Paul Vitti: What did he say?
Carlo Mangano: The usual.
Boss Paul Vitti: Did you tell him you weren't going for it?
Carlo Mangano: What am I gonna do, Paul?
Boss Paul Vitti: You gotta nip that shit right in the bud.
Carlo Mangano: But if the first thing comes through, that'll fix everything.
Boss Paul Vitti: Exactly. Including the second thing.
Carlo Mangano: Absolutely.
Boss Paul Vitti: Exactly.
[Paul Vitti turns to Ben Sobel]
Boss Paul Vitti: Don't repeat what you hear here. You hear?
Dr. Ben Sobel: What? The first thing or the second thing?

Boss Paul Vitti: I go fag, you die.

Boss Paul Vitti: [Crying] Look at this, this is what I'm talking about, I'm a dead man, you call yourself a doctor? You should be ashamed of yourself a real doctor wouldn't turn his back at someone who's suffering, you fucking phony,
[crosses himself]
Boss Paul Vitti: Mother of Christ help me get through this, you fucking rat bastard

Analyze That (2002)
Dr. Ben Sobel: Lou the Wrench? Why the Wrench?
Paul Vitti: He twisted some guy's head off.
Dr. Ben Sobel: OFF?

Dr. Ben Sobel: Paul, you know what you said about not flipping out?
Paul Vitti: Yeah.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Sorry.
[freaks out]

Dr. Ben Sobel: I thought you might appreciate a nice home-cooked meal after being in prison for so long.
Paul Vitti: Yeah, that's what I've been jerking off to for the last 850 nights in a row, a fuckin' home-cooked meal. "Oh, tuna casserole!"

Dr. Ben Sobel: I know what you're doing Paul. You're just upset that I have custody of you, so you passive-aggressively arranged for me to look like a fool.
Paul Vitti: Oh come on. You were great! You were great!
Dr. Ben Sobel: Second take, I thought, was a little better than the first. Jelly wasn't giving me much, honestly. so I j... Screw you, Paul.

Dr. Ben Sobel: I was at a funeral.
Paul Vitti: What's that got to do with someone trying to kill me in jail? You're my Doctor!
Dr. Ben Sobel: My father died.
Paul Vitti: So. With you it is always me, me, me, me, me, me. He's dead. So get over it.

[while working as an auto dealer]
Paul Vitti: Look at the size of this trunk. You can put three bodies in there.

[after Paul opens the bedroom door]
Dr. Ben Sobel: I have a 17-year-old son.
Paul Vitti: I'll ask her.

Dr. Ben Sobel: We don't think it's necessary to wake the neighbors every time we have sex.
Paul Vitti: If you're quiet, you could do it without even waking your wife.

Dr. Ben Sobel: The girl has got to go.
Paul Vitti: You know, Doc, I think you might be jealous.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh and what exactly might I be jealous of?
Paul Vitti: I don't know, I didn't hear nothin' comin' out of your room.
Dr. Ben Sobel: We just don't think it's necessary to wake the neighbors every time we have sex!
Paul Vitti: If you're quiet enough, you can do it without waking your wife.

Eddie DeVol: [Paul and Jelly go to Patti LoPresti's house, Eddie Devol opens door] Yeah what?
Paul Vitti: "Yeah what?"? Is that how you answer the door? "Yeah what?"?
Eddie DeVol: You got a problem with that?
Paul Vitti: [punches Eddie, enters house] Yeah what?
Jelly: [points gun at Eddie who is lying on floor] Don't bother getting up on our account.

[last lines]
Paul Vitti: Hey, doc.
Paul Vitti: There's a place for us.
Dr. Ben Sobel: A time and place for us.
Jelly: Hold my hand and we're halfway there.
Dr. Ben Sobel, Paul Vitti, Jelly: Hold my hand and I'll take you there. Somehow, someday, somewhere!

Dr. Ben Sobel: [Ben Sobel asks Paul to describe a picture of a father walking in saying good night to his wife and son lying in bed] OK, Paul. I want you to take a look at this picture and tell me what is happening.
Paul Vitti: This is a picture of a guy who is a nice hard-working fellow and comes home to find his wife is in bed with a midget who she has been fucking while he has been out of town.
Dr. Ben Sobel: So she has been having intercourse?
Paul Vitti: Yep. With a midget!

Paul Vitti: [as they drive away from SingSing, Paul is acting psycotic, as soon as SingSing's out of view Paul acts normal] You fuckin' piece of shit! I call to say someone's trying to kill me and you fuckin' hang up on me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: I knew it, I knew it! You lied!
Paul Vitti: What was with you stickin' me with that fuckin' needle?
Dr. Ben Sobel: You lied! You used me to get you out of prison!
Paul Vitti: Took you long enough! I've been singing "West Side Story" songs for three fuckin' days, I'm half a fag already!

[Paul and Jelly have captured the Gunman that had tried to shoot them earlier and have taken him to the roof of a parking garage, four stories above the ground with the Gunman's arms bound]
Paul Vitti: I'm gonna ask you once. Who are you working for?
Rigazzi Gunman: I'm working for your mother.
[Paul punches the Gunman]
Rigazzi Gunman: Fuck you.
Paul Vitti: Fuck me?
Rigazzi Gunman: Yeah.
[Paul and Jelly grab him by the legs and hang him over the side of the building]
Rigazzi Gunman: No! No! No! No! Wait! Wait! Stop! Wait! Wait!
Paul Vitti: Who are you working for?
Rigazzi Gunman: Get me up! Stop! Get me up!
Paul Vitti: [to Jelly] Drop him.
Rigazzi Gunman: I... I'm working for Lou "The Wrench" Rigazzi!
Paul Vitti: Wrench?
Rigazzi Gunman: Yeah! The Wrench!
Paul Vitti: How do you spell his name?
Rigazzi Gunman: How do I spell his... R-I-C-A-C-C...
Paul Vitti: Can't even spell his fuckin name right, ya fuckin moron.
[to Jelly]
Paul Vitti: Now pull him up.
[Jelly instead drops the Gunman, and the Gunman plunges three stories down and lands heavily in a dumpster full of garbage]
Paul Vitti: What's the... What's the matter with you?
Jelly: You said drop him.
Paul Vitti: I said pull him back up.
Jelly: Hey, that ain't what I heard.
Paul Vitti: Then you heard what you wanted to hear.
Jelly: [Grins] I guess you got me there.

Paul Vitti: [at Ben's father's wake] Hey, who do I have to fuck to get some bacon around here?
[a woman gasps]
Paul Vitti: Not you I hope!

Paul Vitti: Hey doc, what is it with your folks? They tend to over react a little.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I know, I don't get it either, I mean all you did was flash everyone in the dining room.
Paul Vitti: Yeah, I know that. But wouldn't it do them good to get a bit of the old saussiche now and then?

Female customer: You cannot talk to customers like that.
Paul Vitti: You're not customers as far as I'm concerned! You want to buy the car or not?
Male customer: Not from you. I want to see the manager.
Paul Vitti: You want to see the manager?
[Gesturing to his groin]
Paul Vitti: Here's the manager!

Paul Vitti: [Eating sushi in a Japanese restaurant] They got any real food around here? This is like eatin' fuckin' bait!

Paul Vitti: [to Ben] Hey, listen. Listen, I'm gonna send you after people I don't like.
[He giggles]
Paul Vitti: Give 'em a little psychology; then beat 'em up.

Lou Rigazzi: You wanna back a winner? Which is gonna be me, okay? It only makes sense, so you come work for me. I'll treat you right.
Paul Vitti: No, thanks.
Lou Rigazzi: [laughs darkly] So much for sleepin' better.
Lou Rigazzi: [He pats Paul's face in a condescending manner] You be careful.

Paul Vitti: Sorry to hear about Carmine. He was a good man.
Patti LoPresti: Yeah, I know. You live with someone for 21 year. Then one day they're pulling his torso out of the river. It;s hard.
Paul Vitti: Yeah, I'll bet - especially since the talk is that you were the one that put him there.
Patti LoPresti: That's why I try not to gossip, Paul. It's ugly.

Raoul Berman: [Clearly nervous and apologetic when he finds the woman he has been putting down is Patti LoPresti] And if there is anything at all I can do...
Patti LoPresti: [Nastily] Go fuck yourself!
Raoul Berman: Immediately... immediately.
[He hurriedly leaves]
Paul Vitti: He's from the theater.

Eddie DeVol: How's it goin' Paulie?
Paul Vitti: It's goin' all right.
Eddie DeVol: You know my guys - Enormous Bobby and Al Pacino?
Paul Vitti: Al Pacino... that's your name?
Al Pacino: No, they call me that because I look like Al Pacino.
Paul Vitti: Oh?
Al Pacino: The actor.
Paul Vitti: Anybody ever call you Carol Burnett?
Al Pacino: Why?
Paul Vitti: Because you look as much like Carol Burnett as you do Al Pacino.

Patti LoPresti: So, you look good! What? Have you been workin' out?
Paul Vitti: Yeah, I been workin' out who's been tryin' to kill me. You got any ideas about that?
Patti LoPresti: It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and you know nobody will be safe unless we end this thing with the Rigazzis.

Raoul Berman: [after angering Patti LoPresti] Tell me, was she angry? Am I in any danger?
Paul Vitti: No, you're fine. But you might want to have somebody else start your car the next couple of weeks.
Raoul Berman: I'll have Brian do it, he's new.