Ordell Robbie
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Quotes for
Ordell Robbie (Character)
from Jackie Brown (1997)

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Jackie Brown (1997)
Ordell Robbie: Hey, where's Melanie?
Louis: Well... that's what I want to tell you. She was being such a pain. She made us late for the pickup because she locked herself in your bathroom for hours with her bong getting high. She was nagging and complaining... so strung out. She wouldn't shut up, so...
Ordell Robbie: You left her back there?
Louis: Not exactly. I shot her.
Ordell Robbie: You shot Melanie?
Louis: Twice.
Ordell Robbie: Is she dead?
[Louis does not reply]
Ordell Robbie: Is she dead, yes or no?
Louis: Pretty much.

Ordell Robbie: I got this young nineteen year old country girl named Sheronda. I found her on a bus stop two days outta Georgia, barefoot, country as a chicken coop. I took her to my place in Compton, told her it was Hollywood.
Louis: She believed you?
Ordell Robbie: Hell yeah! To her dumb country ass, Compton is Hollywood; closest she's ever been anyway.

Louis: Who's that?
Ordell Robbie: That's Beaumont.
Louis: Who's Beaumont?
Ordell Robbie: An employee I had to let go.
Louis: What'd he do?
Ordell Robbie: He put himself in a position where he was going to have to do ten years in prison, that's what he did. And if you know Beaumont, you know ain't no god damn way he can do ten years. And if you know that, then you know Beaumont's gonna do anything Beaumont can to keep from doing them ten years, including telling the federal government any and every motherfucking thing about my black ass. Now that my friend is a clear cut case of him or me. And you best believe it ain't gonna be me.

[repeated line]
Ordell Robbie: I can do that.

Beaumont: Man, you must be out of your fuckin' mind if you think I'm gonna get in this dirty-ass trunk.
Ordell Robbie: We ain't going nowhere but to Koreatown, man. You ain't gonna be locked in here no more than ten minutes.
Beaumont: I ain't ridin' in no trunk for no minute, man.

[after shooting Louis]
Ordell Robbie: What the fuck happened to you, man? Shit, your ass used to be beautiful!

Beaumont: I'm still scared as a motherfucker, O.D. They talking like they serious as hell giving me time for that machine gun shit.
Ordell Robbie: Aw, come on, man, they just trying to put a fright in your ass.
Beaumont: Well, if that's what they doin', they done did it.
Ordell Robbie: How old is that machine gun shit?
Beaumont: About three years...
Ordell Robbie: Three years? That's a old crime, man! They ain't got enough room for all the niggas running around killing people today, now how are they gonna find room for you?

Beaumont: I just ain't getting in no goddamn, dirty-ass trunk man. I got a problem with small places.
Ordell Robbie: Well I got a problem with spending ten thousand dollars on ungrateful, peanut-head niggas to get 'em out of jail, but I did it!

[as Max Cherry exits the bathroom]
Ordell Robbie: Uh uh uh... I didn't hear you wash your hands.

Ordell Robbie: I'm serious as a heart attack.

Ordell Robbie: My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

Ordell Robbie: AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.

Ordell Robbie: Look, I hate to be the kinda nigga does a nigga a favor, then, BAM!, hits a nigga up for a favor in return. But I'm afraid I gots to be that kinda nigga.
Beaumont: Whatchu mean?
Ordell Robbie: I need a favor, nigga!

Ordell Robbie: Goddamn girl, you gettin' high already? It's just 2 o'clock!
Melanie: [chuckling] It's that late?
Ordell Robbie: You know you smoke too much of that shit, that shit gonna rob you of your own ambition.
Melanie: Not if your ambition is to get high and watch TV...
Ordell Robbie: Oh, ya'll a couple Cheech and Chongs, huh?
[phone rings]
Ordell Robbie: Well don't get up, I got it.

Ordell Robbie: Now that there is the Tec-9, a crappy spray gun from South Miami. This gun is advertised as the most popular gun in American crime. Do you believe that shit? It actually says that in the little book that comes with it: the most popular gun in American crime. Like they're actually proud of that shit.

Ordell Robbie: Girl, don't make me put my foot in your ass.

Ordell Robbie: Try not to tear his clothes off, OK? They're new.

Jackie Brown: Now sooner or later, they're gonna get around to offering me a plea deal, and you know that. That's why you came here to kill me.
Ordell Robbie: I ain't come here to kill you...
Jackie Brown: No, no, it's OK, it's OK, now. I forgive you.

Ordell Robbie: Is that what I think it is?
Jackie Brown: What do you think it is?
Ordell Robbie: I think it's a gun pressed up against my dick.
Jackie Brown: Well, you thought right. Now take your hands off from around my throat, nigga.

Ordell Robbie: This you and me talking, is this like a lawyer-client thing, and you can't repeat nothing I tell you?
Max Cherry: You're not my client until you get busted and I bond you out.
Ordell Robbie: Well, if we ain't got no - what's that shit called? - confidentiality, why should I tell you a thing?
Max Cherry: Because you want me to know what a slick guy you are. You got stewardesses bringing you fifty grand.
Ordell Robbie: Now why would a stewardess be bringing me fifty grand?
Max Cherry: Now you want me to speculate on what you do. My guess is you're in the drug business, except the money's moving the wrong way. Whatever you're into, you seem to be getting away with it, so more power to you.

Ordell Robbie: Jackie can tell me any story that comes into her pretty little head, just so long as at the end of that story she hands me my motherfucking money.

Ordell Robbie: My money's in that office, right? If she start giving me some bullshit about it ain't there, and we got to go someplace else and get it, I'm gonna shoot you in the head then and there. Then I'm gonna shoot that bitch in the kneecaps, find out where my goddamn money is. She gonna tell me too. Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you, motherfucker. You listen: we go in there, and that nigga Winston or anybody else is in there, you the first motherfucker to get shot. You understand?

Max Cherry: Yeah.
Ordell Robbie: There ain't nothing you want to tell me before we get out of this car, is there?
Max Cherry: No.
Ordell Robbie: Last chance, motherfucker. You sure?
[Max nods]
Ordell Robbie: You better be, motherfucker. All right, let's roll.

Max Cherry: Jackie wants to give it to you herself, she wants to collect her ten percent. She also wants to explain why she had to hang on to it.
Ordell Robbie: Oh, and I want to hear that shit!

Ordell Robbie: [Ordell has bailed Beaumont out of jail] Look at you and your free ass. Come here, boy, gimme a motherfuckin' hug.
Beaumont: Good lookin' out, man. I don't know what to say. Thank you, thank you...
Ordell Robbie: Uh-huh. Who was there for your ass?
Beaumont: You were there for my ass.
Ordell Robbie: Who?
Beaumont: You.
Ordell Robbie: Who?
Beaumont: You!
Ordell Robbie: Whooo?
Beaumont: You nigga, damn!
Ordell Robbie: You goddamn right. That's how that shit works: you get your ass in trouble, I get your ass out. That's my motherfuckin' job. And I don't mind telling you, nigga, it's steady work.

Ordell Robbie: Yeah, woman, damn!

Ordell Robbie: How'd you find me?
Max Cherry: Winston found you.
Ordell Robbie: How the fuck did he find me?
Max Cherry: That's what Winston does. He finds people who don't want to be found.
Ordell Robbie: Well bully for that nigga!

Ordell Robbie: What the fuck you doin' knockin on the door like the goddamn police? You wanna die?
Max Cherry: I thought you might be asleep.
Ordell Robbie: You keep fuckin' with me, you're gonna be asleep forever.

Ordell Robbie: You can't trust Melanie but you can trust Melanie to be Melanie.

Ordell Robbie: Shit, Jackie. You come in this place on Saturday night I bet you need nigger repellant to keep motherfuckers off your ass.

Louis: [on Melanie] I just felt strange, you know, I thought, if she was your girlfriend...
Ordell Robbie: But you fucked her anyway?
Louis: Well...
Ordell Robbie: Well, I hope you felt appropriately guilty about it afterwards.
Louis: Afterwards, I did.
[They both laugh]

Ordell Robbie: [Speaking on the phone to Mr. Walker in Mexico] Come on man! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't HAVE that motherfuckin' boat!
Ordell Robbie: [Listening to Mr. Walker's response] Oh, yeah, yeah, right. I'm seein' who my motherfuckin' friends are right... Hello? Hello?
Ordell Robbie: [Staring at the phone in his hand] Motherfucker hung up on me. You believe this shit? Ingrate nigga! See? You bring a motherfucker up. Next thing you know, they breakin' ya off some goddamned disrespect. Motherfuck. Shit.

Winston: [Phone rings] Bail bonds.
Ordell Robbie: Yeah, Max there?
Winston: He ain't here right now, man.
Ordell Robbie: Well, where he at? Out of town?
Winston: He's AROUND, man.
Ordell Robbie: Well, gimme his home number.
Winston: No, I'll give you his BEEPER number.
Ordell Robbie: All right. Break off the beeper number, nigga.

Ordell Robbie: Somebody with a grudge blew Beaumont's brains out. Oh shit, that shit rhymes! "Blew Beau-mont's, brains out!"

Robbie Ordell: I got some "for-your-eyes-only" shit to show you.

Ordell Robbie: See, that shit works my nerves, you being all buddy-buddy with that motherfucker.
Jackie Brown: If I wasn't so buddy-buddy with that motherfucker, none of this would work.

[Jackie and Ordell need accomplices for the money exchange]
Jackie Brown: So I sit down at the table, eat my food, then your girl comes along. Oh, you have anybody yet?
Ordell Robbie: Yeah, I got someone.
Jackie Brown: Who?
Ordell Robbie: What you care?
Jackie Brown: What I care is my ass facing the penitentiary. If you send some hard-headed rock whore up in here...
Ordell Robbie: Hey, hey, hey, hey. She ain't gonna be no "rock ho." She gonna be cool. Promise.

Cockatoo Bartender: What's your drink brother?
Ordell Robbie: Let me have a screwdriver homes.
Cockatoo Bartender: And what about you?
Jackie Brown: Oh, I'm fine.
Cockatoo Bartender: Yes you are
[they all laugh, the bartender leaves]
Ordell Robbie: Goddamn, girl, you come in here on a Saturday night, I bet you need nigga repellent to keep them motherfuckers off your ass.

Louis: [exhales smoke, heavy coughing]
Melanie: You ok?
Louis: Just... gettin' old.
[continues coughing]
Louis: Seems I can't smoke all that now without coughing.
Melanie: Coughing's good! It opens up the capillaries. You know, when you cough you're pulling in air, or in this case - smoke, into parts of the lungs that don't normally get used. So, coughing's good, it gets you higher.
Ordell Robbie: Definitely know a lot about that! Look here Louis, I got to run out for a little while so uh, if you like gettin high so much, why don't you hang out here with Mel' n' watch a little TV.
Louis: Way ahead of ya.
Ordell Robbie: See I get high later on when I come back, see I get high at NIGHT, when I get through with all my business.

Ordell Robbie: [Sits in silence for a few moments, thinking, then finally realizes who stole his money] It's Jackie Brown.
Louis: Well, if she got to it, why didn't she take it all?
Ordell Robbie: I'll be sure to ask that bitch before I blow her brains out.

Ordell Robbie: Goddamn girl, how you live like this?
Sheronda: Like what?
Ordell Robbie: [points at filthy room] Like this! This some repugnant shit!

Ordell Robbie: And let me tell you something about my lawyer. This brother's name is Stassen Gowens.

Ordell Robbie: Now, the thing is, I ain't never done business with these Koreans before. Now I ain't worried, because, by and large, Asians are very dependable, they don't want no trouble. You might argue with them about price and shit, but you don't need to worry about them shooting you in the back, you know what I'm saying?

Ordell Robbie: Louis, Louis, Louis. You gon' tell me who you saw?
Louis: Yeah, Max Cherry.
Ordell Robbie: Max Che...
[Ordell sighs audibly]
Ordell Robbie: You seen Max Cherry in the dress department where we... Man look at me when I'm talking to you! You see that mutha f**ka in the dress department when we bout to get a half million dollas and you don't think nothin' bout him being there?
Louis: No, why? They know each other?
Ordell Robbie: Hell yeah they know each others he bonded her outta county.
Louis: How am I supposed to know that?
Ordell Robbie: You know he's a bail bondsman don'tcha? You know all them mutha f**kas is crooked as a barrel 'a snakes don'tcha?
Louis: Why should I think somethings weird if I don't know nothing about them knowing each other.
Ordell Robbie: I don't wanna hear no f**kin excuses Louis!
Louis: I ain't givin' you f**kin excuses. Man I'm tellin' you I don't f**kin... I'm giving you f**kin reasons.
Ordell Robbie: Oh oh oh oh. You gon' tell me the reason you lost every god**** cent I got in the world?
Louis: Hey. Hey man.
Ordell Robbie: You gon' tell me reasons?
Louis: You better...
Ordell Robbie: Let me tell you the reason mutha f**ka. The reason IS yo' a** ain't worth a sh*t no mo'.
Louis: You better f**kin back off man.
Ordell Robbie: [POP! Ordell shoots Louis] What the f**k happened to you man? Yo' ass used to be beautiful.

Life of Crime (2013)
Ordell Robbie: So Richard, I got a little joke for you, you might like this one. You too, Lewis. A Dude goes to the doctor. Doctor says: "Sir, you have to stop masturbating". The patient goes: "Why?" And the doctor goes: "because I'm trying to exam you".