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: Christmas shopping, never an easy or a pleasant task.
: And of course your mobile goes.
: Right, the Christmas party. Not my favorite night of the year, and your unhappy job to organize. Mia
: Tell me. Harry
: Well, it's basic, really. Find a venue, over-order on the drinks, bulk-buy the guacamole and advise the girls to avoid Kevin if they want their breasts unfondled.
: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here? Sarah
: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what... two hours? Harry
: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer? Sarah
: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes. Harry
: I thought as much. Sarah
: Do you think everybody knows? Harry
: Yes. Sarah
: Do you think Karl knows? Harry
: Yes. Sarah
: Oh, that is... that is bad news. Harry
: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it. Sarah
: Like what? Harry
: Invite him out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies. Sarah
: You know that? Harry
: Yes, and so does Karl. Think about it, for all our sakes. It's Christmas. Sarah
: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss!
[Rufus places the necklace box in a cellophane bag, opening one drawer and another, scooping amounts of small roses and lavender in the bag. He then pulls out a four-inch cinnamon stick
: What's that? Rufus
: It's a cinnamon stick, sir. Harry
: Actually, I really, uh, can't wait. Rufus
: Oh, you won't regret it, sir. Harry
: Wanna bet?
[he ties it around the bag with a piece of string
: 'Tis but the work of a moment. There we go. Almost finished. Harry
] Almost finished? What else can there be? Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with Chocolate Buttons?
: Mia's very pretty. Harry
: [nonchalantly but unconvincingly
] Is she? Karen
: You know she is, darling. Be careful there.
: Loitering around the jewelry section, I see! Harry
: No. I was just looking around. Karen
: Don't worry, my expectations are not that high after 13 years of Mr. "Oh-but-you-always-LOVE-scarves"! Actually, I do love this one.
: [to Rufus the gift-wrapper
] NO! No bloody holly!
: Tell me, if you were in my position, what would you do? Harry
: What position is that? Karen
: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace, and come Christmas gave it to somebody else... Harry
: Oh, Karen... Karen
: Would you wait around to find out... Parent
: Good night! Karen
: Night, night. Happy Christmas!
[back to Harry
: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run? Harry
: Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool! Karen
: [voice breaking
] Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish, too!
: [gift wrapping a gold necklace
] Let me just pop it in the box. There. Harry
: Look, can we be quite quick? Rufus
: Certainly sir. Ready in the flashiest of flashes!
[he ties a ribbon around it
: There. Harry
: That's great. Rufus
: Not quite finished... Harry
: [Rufus pulls out a plastic bag
] Actually, I don't need a bag, I'll just put it in my pocket. Rufus
: Oh this isn't a bag, sir. Harry
: Really? Rufus
: This is SO much more than a bag...