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: What do you look for in a girl? Josh
: She should be smart, and funny.
: That's good too. Beth
: Do you feel better yet? Josh
: I feel a little bit better, yes. Beth
: What else do you look for? Josh
: She should be nice and attractive and... Beth
: [Beth removes her top
: Topless. And topless.
: I just said we'd make it across. I didn't say anything about the wheels staying on. Josh
: What the hell are we gonna do now? I'm totally screwed! I don't have time to be walking through the woods right now!
: I thought I told you to mail this yesterday? Rubin
: Yeah, I posted it this morning. E.L.
: [Josh watches for a second, then the reality hits him
] OH FUCK!
[Josh scrabbles on the floor for the video
: W-w-w-wait a second. Tell me you mailed the Beth tape to Tiffany.
: Yes! Josh
: Shit! Oh, no! Oh, no! Barry
: Hey, hey. Josh
: What? Barry
: Did you make a copy? Because if you made a copy we could watch the copy.
: Just copy off someone. Josh
: I can't. It's all essay and stuff. You know, if I fail this, my average is shot, I might lose my financial aid, I could not be allowed on campus next semester. E.L.
: Well, you're fucked, then. You might as well come to my party tonight, hook up with Beth, and at least enjoy your last week at college. Josh
: I'm not hooking up with anybody, alright? I've made a commitment to Tiffany. I'm invested in this relationship. E.L.
: Invested? Who are you, Charles Schwab? Would you listen to yourself? I would give my life for one night of consensual sex with her.
: What class is that again? Rubin
: Ancient philosophy. Rubin
: Well I can teach you ancient philosophy in 46 hours. Josh
: Really? Rubin
: Yeah, I can teach Japanese to a monkey in 46 hours. They key is just finding a way to relate to the material.
: [Holding up a white hood
] Are you in the Ku Klux Klan? Josh
: Whoa whoa, that isn't ours. Kyle
: That's not mine! Josh
: OK, hold on, th-there's obviously some explanation. Frat member
: There is. See your boy here's an evil bigot, and now he's gonna die. Kyle
: [answering the phone
] Hello? Josh
: Hi Carla, it's Josh. I'm sorry to bother you. Is Tiffany around? Carla
: Tiffany is not here. She didn't sleep here last night, again, and it'd be great if one hour went by where you didn't call. Josh
: Right. Carla
] If she wanted to talk to you, she'd call you. Deal with it. Josh
: [Hanging up the phone frustrated
] Bitch. E.L.
: Did she sound hot?