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Quotes for
Eddie (Character)
from Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

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Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Eddie: Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.

Eddie: Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.

Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs assault rifle] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.

Mom #1: Eddie?
Eddie: [shouts] Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!
Mom #1: [pause] Never mind.

Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.

Eddie: Did you get a look at him?
John Smith: Little thing. Buck ten, buck fifteen tops.
Eddie: Maybe he was Filipino!
John Smith: I'm not even sure it was a him.
Eddie: You saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?
John Smith: I think so. A pro.

Eddie: Are you saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?
John Smith: I think so.

John Smith: What's new?
Eddie: Same old. People need killing.

Eddie: Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?
John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop
Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.
John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!
Eddie: OK. Laptop.

Eddie: [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
Breakfast Diner Waitress: You guys want any dessert?
Eddie: What do ya have honey?
Breakfast Diner Waitress: Ice cream...
Eddie: Ice cream? That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?
Breakfast Diner Waitress: Chocolate and Vanilla...
Eddie: I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...
[winks to the waitress]
Breakfast Diner Waitress: Could be arranged...
[walks off]
Eddie: Perfect...
[to John]
Eddie: Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?

John Smith: You live with your mother.
Eddie: [offended] Why would you bring her into this, she happens to be a first class lady!

Eddie: You gotta take this bitch out!
John Smith: Don't tell me how to handle my wife.

[on living with his mother]
Eddie: She cooks and cleans. And *I'm* the dummy?