Jane Smith
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Jane Smith (Character)
from Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
John Smith: Come to Daddy.
Jane Smith: [after she bashes him with a teapot and headbutts him] Who's your Daddy now?

[last lines]
John Smith: [at marriage counseling] Ask us the sex question.
Jane Smith: [whispers] John.
John Smith: [softly with his fingers out for ten] Ten.

John Smith: [after Jane escapes on a high wire] Chicken shit!
Jane Smith: Pussy!

Eddie: Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.

Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.

John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.

Jane Smith: [after shooting through a wall at John] Still alive, baby?

Jane Smith: We re-did the house.

Jane Smith: Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.

[John has just returned from shooting Lucky at the bar]
Jane Smith: Hey baby. I didn't hear you downstairs.
John Smith: I went down to the sports bar. Put a little money on the game.
Jane Smith: How'd you do?
John Smith: I got Lucky.

John Smith: [both pointing guns at each other; John drops his] You want it? It's yours.
Jane Smith: Don't! C'mon! C'mon!

Girls walking by House: What's going on, Mrs. Smith?
Jane Smith: Garden party, girls.

[about the new curtains Jane bought]
Jane Smith: If you don't like them we can take them back.
John Smith: All right, I don't like them.
Jane Smith: [pause] You'll get used to them.

Marriage Counselor: How often do you have sex?
Jane Smith: I don't understand the question.

Jane Smith: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don't* say to each other. What's that called?
Marriage Counselor: Marriage.

[both have discovered that they were on the desert and one tried to kill the other]
John Smith: I missed you.
Jane Smith: I missed you too.

Jane Smith: That vacation in Aspen, you left early, why?
John Smith: Jean-Luc Gespar.
Jane Smith: Damn, I wanted him.
John Smith: I got it.

Jane Smith: You ever have trouble sleeping after?
John Smith: No.
Jane Smith: Me neither.

Jane Smith: There's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you.

Jane Smith: To dodging bullets.

[first lines]
John Smith: [at the marriage counselor's] OK, I'll go first. Um... Let me say, uh, we don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.
Jane Smith: Six.
John Smith: [chastened] Five, six years.

Jane Smith: [referring to the pursuing cars] They're bulletproof!
John Smith: [having not heard and shot at the cars] They're bulletproof!

John Smith: Dance with me.
Jane Smith: You don't dance.
John Smith: It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith: Was sloth your cover, too?

John Smith: How many? Ok... I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but...
Jane Smith: 312.
John Smith: What? How?
Jane Smith: Some were two at a time.

John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
[pause]
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.

Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
Jane Smith: Paid actor.
John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!

Jane Smith: Wait, why do I get the girl gun?
John Smith: Are you kidding me?

Jane Smith: Any last words?
John Smith: The new curtains are hideous.

John Smith: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane Smith: Oh, come on, it was just a little bomb.

John Smith: I never went to MIT. Notre Dame. Art history major.
Jane Smith: Art?
John Smith: History! It's reputable.

John Smith: I realise you witnessed the Mrs. and I working through a few domestic issues. That's regrettable but don't take that to be a sign of weakness, that would be a mistake on your part.
[Jane is drumming her fingers impatiently]
John Smith: Honey!
Jane Smith: Wrap it up.
John Smith: Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage - sends a mixed message.
Jane Smith: Sorry.
John Smith: Girls. Where was I?
Benjamin: Mistake on your part.
John Smith: Shut up.

John Smith: Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?
Jane Smith: No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening.

Jane Smith: Have you been selling big guns to bad people?

Jane Smith: I told you to wait for my signal, you didn't wait for my signal.
John Smith: Well, I improvised.
Jane Smith: You deviated from the plan.
John Smith: The plan was flawed.
Jane Smith: The plan was not flawed.
John Smith: Anal.
Jane Smith: *Organized.*
John Smith: Jane, 90% of this job is instinct.
Jane Smith: Well, your instinct set off *every* alarm in the building!
John Smith: My instinct got the job done. It may not have been the Jane show...
Jane Smith: No, it was the John show: it was half-assed. Like Christmas, like our anniversary, like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present.
John Smith: Your *fake* mother's birthday present.
Jane Smith: The point is, you are *always* the first to break team.
John Smith: You don't want a team, you want a servant for hire.
Jane Smith: I want someone I can count on.
John Smith: [sigh] Jane, there's no *air* around you anymore.
Jane Smith: [irritated] Oh. OK, what is that supposed to mean?
John Smith: That means there's no room for mistakes, no mistakes whatsoever. No spontaneity. Who can answer to that?
Jane Smith: Well, you don't have to. Because this isn't even a real marriage.
[brooding silence]
Benjamin: [locked up in the back of the van, in a bewildered voice] *Who are you people?*
Jane Smith: [yelling] Shut up!

John Smith: Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
Jane Smith: Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.

Jane Smith: You were bait.
Benjamin: In a manner of speaking.
Jane Smith: *Were* bait or *are* bait?

Jane Smith: I was never in the peace corps.

Jasmine: What? Your husband is the shooter? That's impossible.
Jane Smith: Really?

Jane Smith: [comparing injuries with John] I can't feel anything in these three fingers.

John Smith: [talking about their predicament] So what do we do, Jane? Shoot it out here? Hope for the best?
Jane Smith: Well, that would be a shame because they would probably ask me to leave once you are dead.

Jane Smith: [dancing with John, he's just finished searching her for weapons] Satisfied?
John Smith: Not for years.

Jane Smith: I thought I told you not to bother me at the office, honey.
John Smith: Well, you are still Mrs. Smith.
Jane Smith: Well, so are a lot of girls.

John Smith: That left of yours is a thing of beauty.
Jane Smith: Mmm. You take it well.

Jane Smith: You really expect me to roll over and play dead?
John Smith: Well, you should be used to it after five years of marriage.
Jane Smith: Six... and I'm not leaving.

John Smith: [while dancing, after Jane asked what had happened to their marriage] I have a theory, newly developed.
Jane Smith: I'm breathless to hear it.
John Smith: I think you killed us.
Jane Smith: Provocative.
John Smith: Why do you care? I was just a cover
Jane Smith: Who says you were just a cover?
John Smith: [pauses] Wasn't I?

John Smith: The first time we met, what was your first thought?
Jane Smith: You tell me.
John Smith: I thought... I thought you looked like Christmas morning, I don't know how else to say it.
Jane Smith: And why are you telling me this now?
John Smith: I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning... so there it is, I thought you should know.