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: Look at me Laurel, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.
: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.
[Dorothy enters kitchen, catching Laurel eavesdropping
: I heard. Dorothy
: No kidding. I looked over and saw the shadow of two curious shoes under the kitchen door. Laurel
: Dorothy, this guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest.
: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.
: I just want to be inspired.
: He's coming over. Laurel
: Tonight? Dorothy
: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over. Laurel
: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It's a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom rung. "Dear God, don't let me be alone or I call my newly-long-suffering-assistant-without-medical for company settlement." If now all you still want is him to come over, I'm not saying anything. Dorothy
: Honey, he's engaged.
: I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.
: Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.
: What do you want from me? My soul? Dorothy
: Why not? I deserve that much.
: This is going to change everything. Dorothy
: [babbling and struggling
] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just... Dorothy
: Shut up,
: just shut up.
: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".
: I have this great guy. And he loves my son. And he sure does like me a lot.
: [shouting, to Jerry
] What do you stand for? Dorothy
: How about a little piece of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don't know what to tell my son! Except, "Here. Have a look at a guy who isn't yelling 'Show me the money." Did you know he's broke? He is broke and working for you for free! Broke. Broke, broke, broke. I'm sorry I'm just not as good at the insults as she is. Marcee Tidwell
: No, that was pretty good.
: What's wrong, Mommy? Dorothy
: First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life.
: I was inspired, and I'm an accountant.
: I'm sorry, I'm just not as good at the insults as she is. Marcee Tidwell
: No, that was pretty good. Rod Tidwell
: No shit.
[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off
] Jerry Maguire
: I wonder what he just said. Dorothy
: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".