Jerry Maguire
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Quotes for
Jerry Maguire (Character)
from Jerry Maguire (1996)

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Jerry Maguire (1996)
Jerry Maguire: [to Rod] I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?

Jerry Maguire: [over the phone] I don't like black people? I am Mister black people.

Jerry Maguire: [while on a plane] What are you doing with me, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: Why?
Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo

Jerry Maguire: [to Matt Cushman] I'm still sort of moved by your "My word is stronger than oak" thing.

Jerry Maguire: [over the phone] I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

Laurel: [after Marrying her sister without considering it thoroughly] You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.

Jerry Maguire: [after breaking up with Avery] I'm not trying to make history here.

[Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]
Jerry Maguire: That's, that's great. I'm very... happy.
Rod Tidwell: Are you listenin'?
Jerry Maguire: Yes!
Rod Tidwell: That's what I'm gonna do for you: God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you gonna do for me. You listenin', Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, what, what, what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you?
Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: I'm ready.
Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.
Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.
Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I bet you he can say it!
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.
Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell!
Jerry Maguire: [screaming] Show me the money! Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man!
Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: I love black people.
Jerry Maguire: I love black people!
Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!
Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Unh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.

Jerry Maguire: [while leaving the stadium after a game] How's your head?
Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.

Ray: [while in the backseat of their car] Did you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!

Jerry Maguire: Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?

Avery Bishop: There is no real loyalty, and the first person who taught me that was you.
Jerry Maguire: I figure I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
Avery Bishop: Well, it worked.

Jerry Maguire: [to Avery] Jump in my nightmare, the water's warm!

Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray.
Ray: You said fuck.
Jerry Maguire: Uh... yeah... I...
Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.

Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.

Jerry Maguire: This is going to change everything.
Dorothy: Promise?

Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy] I won't let you get rid of me.

Jerry Maguire: [babbling and struggling] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...
Dorothy: Shut up,
Dorothy: just shut up.
Dorothy: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".

Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy before their date] That's more than a dress. That's an Audrey Hepburn movie.

Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] But if anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Who's coming with me besides... "Flipper" here?

Jerry Maguire: [Looking over an inadequate contract sent by fax to his office]
Jerry Maguire: I'll go back to them.
Marcee Tidwell: And say what? "Please remove your dick from my ass"?

Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy] We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me.

Rod Tidwell: I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.
Jerry Maguire: I didn't shoplift the pootie.
[Rod gives him a long Look]
Jerry Maguire: All right. I shoplifted the pootie.

Jerry Maguire: [Narrating] I hated myself... no, I hated my place in the world.

Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!
Jerry Maguire: Rod...
Rod Tidwell: I'm from Arizona, Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man!
Jerry Maguire: And now you want Arizona dollars?
Rod Tidwell: Exaaaacctly!

Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] Don't worry, I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do, which is, you know, FLIP OUT!

Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] Ya know! Ya know! We're together on this one! Ya know! Ya know!
Jerry Maguire: Oh my god.

Jerry Maguire: Rod, think about back when you were a little kid. It wasn't about the money, was it? Was it?
Jerry Maguire: Was it?

Jerry Maguire: [pleading to Rod] Help me... help you. Help me, help you.

Rod Tidwell: [after showing up late to his game] Thanks for coming.
Jerry Maguire: I missed ya. What can I say? You're all I've got.

[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]
Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.
Dorothy: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".

Jerry Maguire: I started talking to Dennis Wilburn about your re-negotiation this morning.
Rod Tidwell: [after stepping out of the shower] Talking. Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter... I smell all these fools. They are making the big sweet dollars. They are making the... quan, and you are talking.

[narrating first lines]
Jerry Maguire: So this is the world, and there are almost six billion people on it. When I was a kid, there were three. It's hard to keep up.

Jerry Maguire: [Jerry Maguire is lying in bed one morning when suddenly the radio comes on and wakes him up with a jolt after having slept with Dorothy the night before]
[flash to Dickey Fox in his office]
Dicky Fox: I love the mornings! I clap my hands every morning and say, 'This is gonna be a great day!'
[flash back to Jerry Maguire who accidentally steps on a toy]
Jerry Maguire: [mutters] I don't believe this. How'd I get myself into this?

Rod Tidwell: [while leaving the stadium after a game] Maybe you don't. Because it's not just the money I deserve. It's not just the "coin." It's the... - "the kwan".
Jerry Maguire: That's your word?
Rod Tidwell: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The package. The kwan.
Jerry Maguire: But how did you get "kwan?"
Rod Tidwell: I got there from "coin," dude. Coin, coin... kwaaaan.

Jerry Maguire: [Over the phone] Tell me you got lost on your way to the restaurant because I know you wouldn't stand up a friend
Dennis Wilburn: Something came up
Jerry Maguire: [Referring to Rod's contract] ten million dollars for four years
Dennis Wilburn: It's early, your still dreaming
Jerry Maguire: Ten for four and it's a deal
Dennis Wilburn: The guy's got an attitude problem
Jerry Maguire: I can help you with that he listens to me
Dennis Wilburn: His a shrimp
Jerry Maguire: He broke every receiving record you had last year
Dennis Wilburn: I want a prototypical wide receiver I want someone who is six foot three inches tall, two thundered twenty pounds not someone who's five ten and bitches in the locker room
Jerry Maguire: I'm asking you for a favor I introduced you to your wife, we've spent Christmases together
Dennis Wilburn: You're reaching
Jerry Maguire: Don't do this, we have history
Dennis Wilburn: Yeah we have history, you've drove up the prices on me for years and now it's time for you to spend some time at the back of the line.

Jerry Maguire: [to Rod] I'll tell you why you don't have your ten million dollars. Because right now, you are a paycheck player, you play with your head and not your heart, your personal life is all heart but when you get on the field, it's all about what you didn't get, who's to blame, who under threw the pass, who's got the contracts you don't, who's not giving you your love. That's not what inspires people. Just shut up and play the game with your heart.

Jerry Maguire: [Narrating] America still sets the tone for the world of sports, in Indiana I signed Clark Hodd, his only thirteen years old and is considered the best point guard in the country and last week he scored a hundred points: in a single game. I also signed Erica Sorgi, you'll see her in the next Olympics. In Seattle I signed Dallas Malloy, she's sixteen years old and her lawsuit helped paved the way for women boxers everywhere, whenever she fights she thinks about her ex-boyfriend. In Indio, California I signed Art Stallings he plays the sport with what pure joy. In Odessa, Texas I signed the great Frank Cushman this April twenty six teams will be falling all over themselves in order to sign him in the next NFL draft his my client, my most important client, believe me there's genius everywhere but until they turn pro it's like popcorn in the pan some pop, some don't

Jerry Maguire: [Narrating] I'm the guy you don't usually see. I'm the one behind the scenes. I'm the sports agent, you those photos where the new player holds the team jersey and poses with the owner? Inside that building, that's where I work: S.M.I.,Sports Management International, thirty three out of shape agents, guiding the careers of one thousand five hundred eighty five of the most finely tuned athletes alive. I handle the lives and dreams of seventy two clients and I get an average of two hundred sixty four phone calls a day, that's what I do, this is what I do best, but I'll be honest with you. I started noticing a few years ago and I didn't say a word but the quest for the big dollars and a lot of the little things were going wrong, but lately, it's gotten worse who did I become? Just another shark in a suit?

Jerry Maguire: [Narrating] two days later at our corporate conference in Miami a break through, a breakdown? No a breakthrough. I had so much to say and no one to listen and then it happened an unexpected thing: I began writing what they call a "mission statement" not a memo, a "mission statement", a suggestion for the future of our company a night like this doesn't come around very often. I seized it. What started out as one page slowly became twenty five, suddenly, I was my father's son again I was remembering the simple pleasures of this job: how I ended up here out of law school, the way a stadium sounds when one of my players performs well on the field the way we are meant to protect them in health and in injury with so many clients we've forgotten what's important I wrote, and wrote and wrote and I'm not even a writer I was even remembering the original words of my mentor the late great Dicky Fox, suddenly it was all clear: the answer was fewer clients and less money giving more attention to them, caring for them caring for ourselves. I'll be the first to admit it what I was writing was somewhat "touchy feely", I didn't care I had lost the ability to bullshit, it was the me I always wanted to be. I put the mission statement into a bag and took it to a copy mat in the middle of the night, printed a hundred and ten copies even the cover looked like The Catcher in the Rye. I entitled it:The things we think and do not say, The Future of our Business.