Captain Hook
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Quotes for
Captain Hook (Character)
from Peter Pan (1953)

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Hook (1991)
Jack: Who is that, Captain?
Captain Hook: It's Peter Pan. Has it been three days? 'Tis true, Peter, time does fly. And so do you, I see.

Captain James Hook: [to Peter as he traps him and grinds his hook near his face] You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning - a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, is obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children!

Captain James Hook: Prepare to die, Peter!
Peter Banning: To die would be a grand adventure!
Captain James Hook: Death is the only adventure you have left!

Captain Hook: I have waited long to shake your hand with this. Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom!
[draws sword]
Peter Banning: [draws sword] Dark and sinister man, have at thee.

Captain Hook: He'll crow. He'll fight. He'll fly. And then... he'll die.

Captain Hook: [starts to descend the steps on his ship but stops] Where's the carpet, Smee?
Smee: Oh! Sorry, sir.
[Smee stamps his foot once and a red carpet appears on the stairs]

Peter Pan: I remember you being a lot bigger.
Captain Hook: To a ten year-old I'm huge.

Captain Hook: [yells after Peter who is leaving with Jack, Maggie, and the Lost Boys] Peter! Where are you going? Come back here and fight me! Or I'll find you wherever you are, you hear me? Bad form, Peter, come back!
Maggie: You need a mother very, very badly!

Captain Hook: Oh, I hate being disappointed, Smee. And I hate living in this flawed body. And I hate living in Neverland. And I hate... I hate... I *hate* Peter Pan!

Smee: I've just had an apostrophe.
Captain Hook: I think you mean an epiphany.
Smee: [gestures his fingers to his head] Lightning has just struck my brain.
Captain Hook: Well, that must hurt.

Captain Hook: What would the world be like without Captain Hook?

[in the Museum where all clocks are destroyed. Hook hands Jack a hammer to destroy his father's watch]
Captain James Hook: You know you want to. Give it a try. Go on.
Jack: This is for... never letting me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk!
[smashes his father's watch]
Captain James Hook: Good form! Bravo!
Smee: Isn't that wonderful?
Jack: This is for never letting me jump on my own bed!
[smashes another clock]
Captain James Hook: Make time stand still, laddie.
Jack: For always making promises and breaking them!
[smashes another clock]
Jack: For never doing anything with me.
[smashes another clock]
Captain James Hook: For a father who's never there, Jack? Jack, for a father who didn't save you on the ship.
Jack: [starts to cry] Who wouldn't save us...
Captain James Hook: Who *couldn't* save you, Jack.
Jack: [tearfully] Well, he - he wouldn't. And he didn't even try. He was there and we were there and he wouldn't try.
[pulls his cap down as he cries]
Captain James Hook: [pulls his cap up] Jack... he will try. And the question will be: When the time comes, do you want to be saved? Now, don't you answer now. No, no, no, no, no. Now it's time to be whatever you want to be. Put behind you any thoughts of home; that place of broken promises.
Jack: That what?
Captain James Hook: Have I ever made a promise, Jack... I have not kept?
[gives him a baseball]
Captain James Hook: Have I, son?

Captain James Hook: [holding a pistol to his head] No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee.
Smee: Oh, not again.
Captain James Hook: This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me. Smee, you'd better get up off your arse. Get over here, Smee!
Smee: I'm coming. I'm coming.
Captain James Hook: Stop me! This is not a joke! I'm committing suicide!
[Smee triggers the gun away from Hook's head, sinking the model ship in the pool]
Captain James Hook: Don't ever frighten me like that again.
Smee: I'm sorry.
Captain James Hook: What are you, some kind of a sadist?
Smee: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. How do you feel now?
Captain James Hook: [sighs] I want to die.
Smee: Oh, now, now.
Captain James Hook: There's no adventure here.
Smee: [hold out Hook's gun] You call this no adventure?
Captain James Hook: Death is the only adventure I have left, Smee.

Peter Banning: Hook, you let those kids out of that net in less than one minute or you better get an attorney and hope to God he's better than me.
Captain Hook: Who are you?
Peter Banning: I'm Peter Banning, Attorney at Law, these are my children and I want them back.
Captain Hook: These are your...
Peter Banning: Children.
Captain Hook: These are your children.
Peter Banning: Yes they are.
Captain Hook: And you are?
Peter Banning: Peter.
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes?
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: No.
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes. Is there an echo in here? Yes.
Captain Hook: My great and worthy opponent?
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: No! Smee, who is this impostor?

Pirate: He's stealing second!
[the catcher shoots the base stealer with his pistol and the crowd cheers]
Captain Hook: No, no, no! Now stop it! We're playing this game by Master Jack's rules. Bad form! Sit down, now. Let's resume the game.
[to his lady]
Captain Hook: A very violent sport, isn't it, baseball?

Peter Banning: It's okay. Hang on, son. I'm coming, sweetheart.
[begins to climb up a rope ladder]
Peter Banning: Someone give me a hand.
Captain Hook: I already have.

Peter Pan: [to the lost boys] Let's get ready to show them the white light we're made of, boys.
Captain Hook: [to the pirates] Remember the fires of hell that forged you. Charge.

Captain Hook: Peter. I swear to you wherever you go, wherever you are, I vow there will always be daggers bearing notes signed James Hook. They will be flung into doors of your children's children's children, do you hear me?
Peter Pan: What do you want, old man?
Captain Hook: Just you.

Maggie: [gets up and grabs Captain Hook's hook] I wanna tear your hook off!
Captain Hook: [looks from Jack to Maggie] Easy.
Maggie: I hate... I hate you, Mr. Hook!
Captain Hook: [laughs] What did I tell you, Smee? No little children love me.
Smee: Yes, they do. Come on, you.
[grabs Maggie]
Smee: You're depressin' the Captain.
Maggie: Jack, you listen to me! Never let him make you forget! Never forget mommy and daddy!
Jack: Maggie.
Maggie: Think of a way to run home, Jack! Run home!
Jack: Run home?
Captain Hook: Jack.
[puts his hook in front of his face; Jack's eyes widen a bit]
Captain Hook: You are home.
Captain Hook: Right?

Captain Hook: [over the airplane intercom] Hello Ladies and Gentlemen this is your Captain speaking...

Captain James Hook: Hear me, men. For reasons of good form, I have decided that the so-called Pan will return in three days to commit the arbitrament of the sword. Smee, translate.
Smee: In three days, we're gonna have a war! A battle between good and evil to the death!

[Hook hangs Maggie and Jack from a net atop the mast]
Captain Hook: I'll make you a deal, Mr. Chairman-of-the-Board. Fly up there and touch the outstretched fingers of your frightened children, and I'll set them free.
Peter Banning: I can't fly!
Captain Hook: Come on, explode out of there! Stop the charade! Free you children!
Maggie, Jack: Help, daddy!
Captain Hook: [Peter whispers to Hook's ear] I beg your pardon?
Peter Banning: [inaudible whisper] I have a real problem with heights.
Captain Hook: You must be joking.
[he laughs]
Captain Hook: Peter Pan has a real problem with heights!
[Hook and the other pirates burst out laughing]
Peter Banning: I'm not Peter Pan.

Captain Hook: [wielding his sword ready to fight Peter, after Rufio's death] Are you ready for me Peter? Come on, humor the Hook.

[holding up a sign reading "Run Home Jack"]
Pirates: Run home, Jack! Run home, Jack!
Jack: "Run home, Jack."
Captain Hook: Smee, no, no, no! They've got it backwards! Tell them to turn it around!
Jack: Maggie?
Smee: Switch!
[the pirates fix the sign to read "Home Run Jack." They read it]
Pirates: Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack!

Captain Hook: You, the cute little urchin in the front row, won't you share your thoughts with the whole class?
Maggie: Yes!I said mommy reads to us every night, because she LOVES us very much!
Captain Hook: Loves you? Isn't that the, uh, the...
Smee: The 'L' word, Captain.
Captain Hook: Ooh, yes!
[grimly chuckles]
Captain Hook: No, child, Your mother wants to read to you every night in order to stupefy to sleep, so that she and daddy could sit down for three measly minutes without you. And you mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive, and nagging demands: He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, now!
[inhales deeply]
Captain Hook: Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
Smee: -And conk you out.
Maggie: That's not true, Jack!
[to Hook]
Maggie: You're a liar!
Captain Hook: [laughs] Lie? Me? Never.
[inhales deeply again]
Captain Hook: The TRUTH is far too much fun.

Captain James Hook: Well, my stupid, sorry, parasitic sacks of entrails...
[the pirates laugh]
Captain James Hook: ...revenge is mine.
[the pirates cheer]
Tickles: Long live the Hook!

Captain Hook: Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have decided to cancel the war. Kill them. Kill them all.

[Peter and Hook are dueling]
Peter Banning: Good form, old man.
[Hook traps Peter and grinds his hook near his face]
Captain Hook: You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning, a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, who's obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children!
Too Small: I believe in you.
Latchboy: I believe in you.
No Nap: I believe in you, Peter.
Maggie: I believe in you.
Thud Butt: You are the Pan.
Jack: You're Peter Pan.
Tinkerbell: I believe in you... Peter Pan.
[Peter pushes Hook off and returns his sword. As Hook takes it, he slices Peter's arm with his hook]
Jack: Bad form!
Ace: Jack, stop!

Captain Hook: You!
[pointing at someone in the crowd]
Captain Hook: You! That's right you! No not you! not you... you... You! You bet against me bringing Pan back here, didn't ya?
Gutless: [Intimidated] No.
Captain Hook: Ahh
[Nods disbelievingly]
Captain Hook: ... tell your captain the truth
Gutless: [Breaks down crying]
Captain Hook: Awww... say it... say it
Gutless: I did...
Captain Hook: Yes... you made a boo boo...
Gutless: I did... I did it...
Captain Hook: Mmm...
[Looks at another pirate]
Captain Hook: The boo box.
Gutless: Not that! Not the boo box!
Captain Hook: [nods] The boo box.
Gutless: NOOOOOO!
Captain Hook: Yes.

Captain Hook: Finally, I'm going to kill Peter Pan, that cocky boy who cut off my hand and fed it to the crocodile!
[pirates cheer]
Captain Hook: And who killed that cunning crocodile?
Pirates: Hook!
Captain Hook: Who stuffed him?
Pirates: Hook!
Captain Hook: Who made him into a quiet clock?
Pirates: Hook!
Captain Hook: Who went into the other world and stole Pan's children?
Pirates: Hook!
Captain Hook: And who didn't believe I could do it? Who doubted me? Who amongst us does not belong? Someone here does not belong, a stranger amongst the loyal. I will weed you out!

Captain James Hook: [to Peter, in disbelief] Is it you? My great and worthy opponent? But it can't be. Not this pitiful, spineless, pasty, bloated codfish I see before me. You're not even a shadow of Peter Pan.

Captain James Hook: [watching Peter try - and fail - to rescue his children] Smee, I don't understand. Why doesn't he fly? Is he not Peter Pan?
Smee: He's Peter Pan, all right, Captain. He's just been away from Neverland so long, his mind's been junk-tified. He's forgotten everything.

Captain James Hook: [contemplating] Smee, I've just had a sublime vision. All the jagged parts of my life have come together to form a complete an mystical... whole. An epiphany.
Smee: A "piphy"-what?
Captain James Hook: My life is over!
Smee: Does that mean you've lost your appetite?
Captain James Hook: Yes. Goodbye.

Captain Hook: I think your mother reads to you every night in order to stupefy you to sleep. So she and daddy can sit down for three measly minutes without you and your mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive and nagging demands. "He took my toy." "She hit my bear." "I want a potty." "I want a cookie." "I want to stay up." I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now... can't you understand child? They tell you stories to shut you up.

Peter Pan (2003)
Smee: Captain, the ice is melting, the sun is out, and the flowers are all in bloom...
Captain Hook: He's back.

Peter: Ready to lose the other one?
Captain Hook: Not this time.

Captain Hook: [to Wendy] Didst thou ever want to be a pirate?

Wendy: Might I have time to consider your generous offer?
Captain Hook: Absolutely. You must!

Captain Hook: My new obsession is you. Not dear Peter Pan or his whereabouts.

Captain Hook: None of my crew will follow you... I swear it.

Smee: Pan did you a favor, did he, Captain?
Captain Hook: A favor? He threw my hand to a crocodile, the beast liked it so much, it's followed me ever since, licking its lips for the rest of me... YOU CALL THAT A FAVOR?

Captain Hook: If I were you, I'd give up!
Peter: If you were me, I'd be ugly.

Hook: And now, Peter Pan, you shall die.
Peter: To die would be an awfully big adventure.

[Wendy kisses Peter Pan and he starts to glow]
Captain Hook: Pan... you're pink.

Wendy: Once upon a time there was a boy named Peter Pan, who decided not to grow up.
Hook: Skip the prologue.
Wendy: So he flew away to Neverland where the pirates are.
Hook: What fun he must have had.
Wendy: Yes but he was rather lonely.
Hook: Lonely? He needed a Wendy.
Pirate: I need a Wendy.
Hook: Why a Wendy?
Wendy: He liked my stories.
Hook: What stories?
Wendy: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty.
Hook: Love stories?
Wendy: Adventures! In which good triumphs over evil!
Hook: They all end in a kiss.
Wendy: [gasps]
Hook: A kiss. He does feel! He feels about you.
Hook: She told him stories. He taught her to fly. How?
Wendy: You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air.
Hook: Alas, I have no happy thoughts.
Wendy: That brings you down!
Hook: [Hook threatens to cut Wendy's throat with his hook] How else?
Michael: Fairy dust! You need fairy dust!
The Lost Boys: Michael!
Hook: What of Pan? Would unhappy thoughts bring him down?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts.

Captain Hook: She was leaving you, Pan! Your Wendy was leaving you. Why should she stay? What have you to offer? You are incomplete. Let us now take a peep into the future, shall we?
[Hook and Peter start to fight again]
Captain Hook: 'Tis the fair Wendy. She's in her nursery. The window is shut.
Peter: I'll open it.
Captain Hook: I'm afraid the window is barred.
Peter: I'll call out her name!
Captain Hook: She can't hear you...
Peter: No!
Captain Hook: She can't see you.
Peter: Wendy!
Captain Hook: She's forgotten all about you.
Peter: Stop! Please! Stop it!

Hook: Old... Alone... Done for.

[Hook gazes up in bewilderment at Wendy and Peter dancing among the Fairies in mid-air]
Captain Hook: Evil day...
[He turns away, and stumbles until he is sat in the undergrowth]
Captain Hook: He has found himself a... a...
[Clutches at his chest]
Tink: [Sitting on a leaf near Hook, Tinkerbell chimes something in Fairy Language]
Captain Hook: Wendy?
[Returns his gaze skyward]
Captain Hook: And Hook is all alone...
Tink: [Chimes tearfully]
Captain Hook: You too? Banished? Tsk tsk.
[Tink chimes]
Captain Hook: The dog...
Captain Hook: [to Tink, who is now sat on his hook] I think you and I... should talk...
[Tink's wings perk up in interest]

Captain James Hook: Proud and insolent youth! Prepare to meet thy doom!

Captain Hook: It is your requiem mass, boy!

Captain Hook: Split my infinitives!

Captain Hook: How like a girl!

Captain Hook: So Peter Pan, this is all your doing?
Peter: Aye James Hook, it's all my doing.

Captain Hook: Fly to the rescue, Pan. I'll shoot you... right through your noble intentions.

Captain Hook: [Guessing who he is] Vegetable?
Peter: No...
Captain Hook: Mineral?
Peter: No...
Captain Hook: Animal?
Peter: Yes.
Captain Hook: Man?
Peter: NO!
Captain Hook: Boy?
Peter: Yes!
Captain Hook: Ordinary boy?
Peter: No!
Captain Hook: Wonderful boy?
Peter: Yes! Do you give up?

Hook: If you are Hook... then who am I?
Peter: You... are a... codfish!

Wendy: My parents wanted me to grow up.
Captain Hook: Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience... and pimples.

Captain Hook: What of Pan? Will unhappy thoughts bring him down too?
Wendy: He has no unhappy thoughts.
Captain Hook: Oh... Well, what if his Wendy... walked the plank!

Captain Hook: You're a tragedy!
Peter: Me? Tragic?

Wendy: Peter, I'm sorry I must grow up...
[Hook grabs her]
Wendy: [to Hook] It is just a thimble.
Captain Hook: By all means my beauty, give Peter Pan your precious thimble.
Wendy: This belongs to you and always will.
[Kisses Peter]
John: That was no thimble...
Michael: That was a hidden kiss.

Peter Pan (1953)
Captain Hook: [about to lower a bomb into Peter Pan's hideout] And now, Smee, to take care of master Peter Pan.
Mr. Smee: But, Captain, wouldn't it be more humane-like to slit his throat?
Captain Hook: Aye, that it would, Mr Smee. But I have given me word not to lay a finger, or a hook, on Peter Pan. And Captain Hook never breaks a promise.

[Wendy has walked the plank, and Peter saves her]
Mr. Starkey: No splash, Captain.
Captain Hook: So, you want a splash, Mr Starkey? I'll give you a splash!
[Hook throws Mr Starkey overboard]
Captain Hook: Who's next?
Peter Pan: You're next, Hook! This time you've gone too far!

Mr. Smee: Oh, dear, dear, dear, Captain Hook. Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza? That ain't good form, you know.
Captain Hook: "Good form," Mr. Smee?
[suddenly yelling]
Captain Hook: Blast good form!
[waves his hook in front of Smee]
Captain Hook: Did Pan show good form when he did *this* to me?
Mr. Smee: Why, Captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank, you might say.
Captain Hook: Aye, but throwing it to that crocodile! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since, licking his chops for the rest of me.
Mr. Smee: And he would've had you by now, Captain, if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock. But now, when he's about, he'd warn you, as you might say, with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

Peter Pan: Well, well, a codfish on a hook.
Captain Hook: I'll get you for this, Pan, if it's the last thing I do!

Peter Pan: [as he and Capt. Hook hear the sound of Tick-Tock] I say, Captain, do you hear something?
Captain Hook: [trembles in fear] No.
[ticking getting closer]
Captain Hook: No!
[Tick-Tock comes up from the water and bites Hook]
Captain Hook: Nooo!

Captain Hook: Fly! Fly! Fly! You coward!
Peter Pan: Coward! Me?
Captain Hook: Ha-ha-ha! You wouldn't dare fight old Hook man-to-man. You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!
Peter Pan: Nobody calls Pan a coward and lives! I'll fight you man-to-man, with one hand behind my back.
Captain Hook: You mean you won't fly?
Wendy: No, don't, Peter! It's a trick!
Peter Pan: I give my word, Hook.
Captain Hook: Good, then let's have at it!

Captain Hook: You wouldn't do ol' Hook in now, would you, lad? I'll go away forever.
Captain Hook: I'll do anything you say.
Peter Pan: Well, all right... if you... say you're a codfish.
Captain Hook: [gulps] I'm a codfish.
Peter Pan: Louder!
Captain Hook: [wailing] I'M A CODFISH!

[the pirates see Peter Pan and the Darling children coming, so they get ready to shoot them down]
Captain Hook: I've waited years for this.
Mr. Smee: That's not countin' the holidays, either.

[at Skull Rock, Peter Pan has disguised his voice to sound like Captain Hook to trick Mr. Smee into returning Princess Tiger Lily to the Indians. The real Hook notices Smee rowing past him, out of Skull Rock]
Mr. Smee: Well, at last, Captain Hook's comin' to his senses.
Captain Hook: [surprised] Odd's fish!
Mr. Smee: [to Tiger Lily] I told him all along you Indians wouldn't betray Peter Pan.
Captain Hook: [sweetly] And just what do you think you are doing, Mr. Smee?
[He stops the rowboat from moving by placing his foot on it]
Mr. Smee: Just what you told me, Captain: carrying out your orders.
Captain Hook: My orders?
Mr. Smee: Why, yes, Captain. Didn't you just say to go...
Captain Hook: [shoving Smee's rowboat back into Skull Rock] Put her back, you blithering idiot!
[to himself]
Captain Hook: My orders. Of all the bumbling...

Captain Hook: A jealous female can be tricked into anything.

Captain Hook: [catching Mr. Smee leaving his cabin] And where do you think you are going?
Mr. Smee: To tell the boys we sails with the tide, sir.
Captain Hook: You will go ashore, pick up Tinker Bell, and bring her to me.
Captain Hook: UNDERSTAND?
Mr. Smee: [saluting Hook] Aye-aye sir!
[Mr. Smee charges through the wall, lands in a boat, goes flying overboard and rows to the shore very fast]

[Mr. Smee has captured a brooding Tinker Bell and taken her to Captain Hook, who is playing the piano, while Smee is drinking]
Captain Hook: Yes, Miss Bell, Captain Hook admits defeat. Tomorrow, I leave the island, never to return.
Mr. Smee: I'm glad to hear that, Captain.
[he hiccups]
Mr. Smee: I'll tell the crew and...
[he hiccups again and tries to leave, but Hook trips him up and he falls down]
Captain Hook: [to Tinker Bell] And that's why I asked you over, me dear, to tell Peter I bear him no ill will. Oh, Pan has his faults, to be sure. Bringing that Wendy to the island, for instance. Dangerous business, that. Why, rumor has it that already she has come between you and Peter.
[he notices that Tinker Bell is on the verge of tears]
Captain Hook: But what's this? Tears? Then it *is* true.
[to Smee]
Captain Hook: Oh, Smee, the way of a man with a maid: taking the best years of her life and then casting her aside like an old glove!
Mr. Smee: [crying] Ain't it a bloomin'...
[he hiccups]
Mr. Smee: ... shame?
Captain Hook: [handing a handkerchief to Tinker Bell] But we musn't judge Peter too harshly, my dear. It's that Wendy who's to blame.
[Tinker Ball nods in agreement; Hook then turns to Smee]
Captain Hook: Mr. Smee, we must save the lad from himself. But how?
[Smee just cries]
Captain Hook: We've so little time; we sail in the morning. Sail? That's it, Smee!
[he slaps Smee on the back and Smee falls down again]
Captain Hook: We'll shanghai Wendy!
Mr. Smee: Shanghai Wendy, Captain?
Captain Hook: Take her to sea with us. With her gone, Peter will soon forget this mad infatuation.

[Captain Hook and Mr. Smee have decided to kidnap Wendy so Peter Pan would never see her again]
Captain Hook: Come, Smee, we must leave immediately. We'll surround Peter's home...
Mr. Smee: But Captain, we don't know where Peter Pan lives.
Captain Hook: Great Scott, you're right, Smee!
[Tinker Bell flies over to them and then flies over to a map of Never Land]
Captain Hook: What's that, my dear? You could show us the way? Why, I never thought of that.
[to Smee]
Captain Hook: Take this down, Smee.
Mr. Smee: "Take this down, Smee." Aye-aye, Captain.
[Smee takes out a quill pen and a piece of paper while Tinker Bell dips her shoes in an inkwell and then lands on a part of the Never Land map marked Pegleg Point]
Captain Hook: Start at Pegleg Point...
Mr. Smee: [writing in the paper] "Start at Pegleg Point... "
[Tinker Bell walks across the map to another area marked Blindman's Bluff]
Captain Hook: Forty paces west to Blindman's Bluff...
Mr. Smee: [writing] "Blindman's Bluff... "
[Tinker Bell hops across a part of the map with a creek on it and then walks toward the northeastern end of the map]
Captain Hook: [nervously] Yes, yes. A hop, skip and a jump across Crocodile Creek and then nor' by nor'east, one, two, three...
[loses patience]
Captain Hook: Well, get on with...
[calms down]
Captain Hook: Continue, my dear.
[Tinker Bell suddenly gets angry and she flies up in Hook's face, wagging her finger at him]
Captain Hook: I mustn't harm Peter? Madam, Captain Hook gives his word not to lay a finger...
[Tinker Bell hooks her finger]
Captain Hook: ... or a hook... on Peter Pan.
[Tinker Bell flies over to an area of the Never Land map marked Hangman's Tree and puts an X on it with her inked shoe heels]
Captain Hook: Ah, Hangman's Tree! So *that's* the entrance to his hiding place!
[Hook grabs Tinker Bell and locks her in a lantern]
Captain Hook: Thank you, me dear, you've been most helpful.

Mr. Smee: [outside the door where Captain Hook is sitting with a cold]
[holding a hammer]
Mr. Smee: Shhhh! The Captain has a splitting headache. We mustn't annoy him.
[looking away as Captain Hook comes out, about to attack Mr. Smee when Mr. Smee accidentally hits Captain Hook in the forehead with the hammer. Mr. Smee vibrates as Captain Hook staggers back into the room and collapses back onto the chair. Dazed. Smee walks in with a kettle of hot water. Takes a look at Captain Hook]
Mr. Smee: Well, Captain. It's nice to see you smiling again. Brings back the good old days when we was leading a healthy, normal life, scuttling ships, cutting throats.
[Puts a thermometer in Captain Hook's mouth]
Mr. Smee: Oh Captain, why don't we go to sea again?
[starts pouring the hot water into the bucket where Captain Hook's feet are]
Mr. Smee: You know, there's trouble brewing on the island. Women trouble. I wouldn't want this to go any farther, but...
[not realizing the bucket is filling with hot water]
Mr. Smee: the cook told me, that the first mate told him...
[the thermometer in Captain Hook's mouth starts to rise as Captain Hook's face turns red]
Mr. Smee: ...that he heard... that Pan has banished Tinkerbell.
[the thermometer pops at the end]
Captain Hook: WOOOOOAH!
[Jumps up off the chair out of the bucket of hot water with his feet red hot and bumps his head against the ceiling as Smee falls over]
Captain Hook: Why you doddering imbecile, I...
[pulls the kettle off of his head]
Captain Hook: Did you say Pan has banished Tinkerbell?

Captain Hook: Blast that Peter Pan! If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?
[He examines a map of Neverland]
Captain Hook: Mermaid Lagoon? No, we've search that. And we've combed Cannibal Cove.
[He then lands his hook on an area of the map marked Indian Camp]
Captain Hook: Here! No. No, no, no, that's Indian territ... But wait. Those redskins know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder.
Mr. Smee: [walking up] Good morning, Captain.
Captain Hook: [grabbing Smee] I've got it! Tiger Lily, Smee!
Mr. Smee: [nervously] T-T-Tiger Lily, Captain?
Captain Hook: The chief's daughter. She'll know where Pan is hiding.
Mr. Smee: B-B-But-But will she talk, Captain?
Captain Hook: Oh, a little persuasion might be in order. Now let me see... Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Eh, marooning?

[the time bomb that Hook had delivered Peter had just gone off]
Captain Hook: So passes on a worthy opponent.
Mr. Smee: Amen.

Pan (2015)
[from trailer]
Peter Pan: If I'm going to trust you, I need to know your name!
Hook: It's Hook! The name's James Hook!

Blackbeard: Well, well, well. The princess, I presume.
Hook: Oh, well, actually I'm just a miner. But I appreciate the compliment.

[from trailer]
Hook: So pirates are afraid of Mermaid Lagoon?
Tiger Lily: Because of crocodiles.
[Hook quickly sticks his hand out of the water]
Tiger Lily: Afraid?
[a large crocodile comes out of the water and jumps over the boat]
Peter Pan: Holy pootie!

[from trailer]
Peter Pan: Do you know how to work a ship?
Hook: How hard can it be?
[Hook steers the Jolly Roger ship upside down to avoid cannonballs]
Hook: This is a lot harder than it looks! We're sailing now!

Peter Pan: Who the bloody hell am I?
Hook: You can go feel this way for yourself as long as you want, kid. But knowing where you're from, that's half of knowing who you are - that's more than what most of us here will ever know! At least you know where you've come from. Born to a warrior, heir to a prince, does that mean you're the One? I don't know. I don't know if there is a One. I do know that if you aren't the guy, and you're just you, maybe that's enough.

Peter Pan: Always be friends, Hook. Are we?
Hook: Always. It can't possibly go wrong.

Peter Pan: But you said... that your mother left you.
Hook: Yeah. I lied. I do that sometimes.It's called being a grown-up!

Peter Pan: Why would you want to leave a place like this? Where will you go?
Hook: I don't know. somewhere i'm a litle higher up on the food chain, for starters.
Peter Pan: [something ominous passes] What was that?
Hook: Something a little higher up on the food chain.

Tiger Lily: You're going to run like a coward?
Hook: Well, I never really thought of it in those exact terms, but, generally speaking, yes.
Tiger Lily: And where will you go?
Hook: Home. It's you know, where I come from.
Tiger Lily: Home's not where you come from. It's where you make it.
Hook: So help me do that...

Tiger Lily: You don't want to go home?
Hook: I already am.

Peter Pan: Which way should we go?
Peter Pan, Hook: [simultaneously] Set a course!
Peter Pan: Hey! Who's in charge here?
Hook: Well, I'm the captain.
Peter Pan: And I'm the chosen one.
Hook: We'll have plenty of time to argue about that later, flyboy.
Peter Pan: Suit yourself, Captain Hook.
Hook: Set a course! Second to the right, and straight on till morning.
The Boys: [cheering and hooting] Neverland!

[last lines]
Peter Pan: Well always be friends, Hook. Won't we?
Hook: Always. What could possibly go wrong?

Peter Pan (1960) (TV)
Captain Hook: But Peter threw me hand to a crocodile, who happened to be passing by. And that croc liked the taste of me hand so much, he's followed me ever since. From land to land, from sea to sea, he follows the ship - licking his lips for the rest of me.
Smee: Well, in a way, it is a sort of compliment.
Captain Hook: [bonking Smee on the head] Well, I want no such compliment.

Captain Hook: The game is up. Those boys have found a mother.
Smee: What's a mother?
[Hook bonks Smee on the head]

Captain Hook: Split me infinitives, but 'tis me hour of triumph!

Captain Hook: No! By carbonate of soda, no!

Captain Hook: [pausing, out of breath, during the duel with Peter] 'Tisn't fair! I say it as though it were my last breath - it isn't fair! Pan, who and what art thou?
Peter Pan: I am youth. I am joy. I am freedom!

Captain Hook: Well if you are Captain Hook, then what am I?
Peter Pan: A codfish.

Captain Hook: No little children love me. I'm told they play at Peter Pan, and the strongest always chooses to be Peter. They force the baby to be Hook. The baby - that's where the canker gnaws. I'm told they find Smee lovable. How can I break it to him that they find him lovable?

Return to Never Land (2002)
Captain Hook: I tell you, Smee, this is driving me to delirium. I detest cephalopods!

Smee & Pirates: Oh, goodness. Haven't we searched the island a thousand times before?
Captain Hook: What was that, Mr. Smee?
Smee & Pirates: I... I mean, hunting for Pan is, uh... fun galore.

Jane: Not so fast, you old codfish! Or you'll have to answer to me!
Peter Pan: Jane...?
Captain Hook: Good heavens! Run! Run for your lives! It's... A little girl.

[the Jolly Roger is sinking with Captain Hook still on board]
Captain Hook: Help me! Help me!
Peter Pan: You know the rules, Hook. A good captain always goes down with his ship.
Captain Hook: I don't want to be a good captain!

Jane: You promised no one would get hurt. You gave your word.
Captain Hook: And Captain Hook always keeps his word. I promised I would not harm a hair on Peter Pan's head.
[Plucks a hair from Peter's head]
Captain Hook: And this is the one I won't harm. Here, you keep it.
[Gives it to Jane]
Captain Hook: The rest of him is mine.

Captain Hook: Mr. Smee, who is the most brazen, bold and brilliant buccaneer who ever sailed the briny blue?
Smee & Pirates: Um, Blackbeard?
[Hook sighs in exasperation and clunks him on the head]

Captain Hook: [Janes sees Captain Hook's shadow out the window, she goes to investigate and finds nothing, she then turns around and comes face to face with Hook and his crew who have entered her bedroom] Hello Wendy!
[throws a gag over her mouth while another pirate ties her hands together]
Smee & Pirates: My apologies miss!
[throws a sack over her]

Kingdom Hearts (2002) (VG)
[on board Captain Hook's ship]
Captain Hook: What? So Wendy's not one of the chosen ones?
Riku: There are seven, supposedly, and Maleficent says she's not one of them. Hoist anchor as soon as possible. Leave all the dead weight behind, including her.
Captain Hook: After the trouble of capturing her? And why those seven? What is Maleficent planning, anyway?
Riku: Who knows? As long as it means getting Kairi's heart back, I couldn't care less.
Captain Hook: You're wasting your time! The Heartless have devoured that girl's heart. I'll stake me other hand it's lost forever.
Riku: I will find it no matter what.

Hades: That little squirt took down that Heartless! Who'd have thought it?
Jafar: Such is the power of the Keyblade. The child's strength is not his own.
Ursula: Why don't we turn him into a Heartless? That'll settle things quick enough.
Captain Hook: And the brat's friends are the king's lackeys. Swoogle me eyes, they're all bilge rats by the look of them.
Oogie Boogie: You're no prize yourself.
Captain Hook: Shut up!
Maleficent: Enough. The Keyblade has chosen him. Will it be he who conquers the darkness? Or will the darkness swallow him? Either way, he could be quite useful...

Hook: Ahh! P-Peter Pa- blast you.

Captain Hook: [referring to Riku, who had Sora's party imprisoned on Hook's ship] That scurvy brat thinks he can order me around!
Mr. Smee: What shall we do, Captain Hook?
Captain Hook: Nothing! The hold is crawling with Heartless. Let them keep an eye on the brats.
Mr. Smee: But, Captain, you-know-who is also down...
Captain Hook: [suddenly shocked] Shh... Did you hear that, Smee? Oh, that dreadful sound!
Mr. Smee: No, Captain.
Captain Hook: [shaking Smee's shoulder] Are you quite sure? Did I imagine it? Oh, my poor nerves...

Mr. Smee: Uh, Captain...
Captain Hook: What?
Mr. Smee: The prisoners have escaped. What's more, Peter Pan is with them.
Captain Hook: Blast that Peter Pan! All right, then! Bring the hostage to me cabin, Smee! Hop to it!

"Muppet Babies: Treasure Attic (#3.10)" (1986)
Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: Oh well, What have we here? Tresure stealing mutineers, eh?
Miss Piggy: Girl Pirates?
Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: We're not Pirates, we're "Pirettes". Captain Crochette Hook.
Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette: Captain Blackwig.
Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: And Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirettes.
[the Pirettes cackle]

Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: Oh, I just can't wait!
Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette: Yeah, we're going to be stars!
Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: Oh, Broadway, here we come!

Miss Piggy: Excus'e Moi, well, Have you uhh... "Pirettes" ever thought about getting into show business?
Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette, Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette, Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: Show Business?
Miss Piggy: Um, sure! You'd make a wonderful song and dance act.
Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: Really?
Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette, Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette, Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: Us?
Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: Singers?
Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette: And dancers?
[Pirettes giggle sheepishly]

Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: Oh, this is exciting!
Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette: Oh, we'll be famous!
Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: We'll pack our trunks and be right back! Show business, here we come!
[Pirettes leave to their quarters excitedly to start packing]

Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: Okay, we're all packed!
[Pirettes gasp in shock when they realized they were tricked by the Muppet Babies]
Captain Crochette Hook the Pink Pirette: Look, the Treasure's gone!
Captain Blackwig the Blue Pirette: The little rats must've taken it!
Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates the Green Pirette: Let's Get Them!

"Once Upon a Time: Wish You Were Here (#6.10)" (2016)
[first lines]
Captain Hook: Do you really think you've got something in your vault that can destroy it?
Regina Mills: We don't want to destroy it. We want to understand it.
Captain Hook: It's fated to kill her.
Emma Swan: The hooded figure who uses it is fated to kill me. We need to figure out who that is.
Regina Mills: And then we can worry about destroying things.

Captain Hook: What the devil?
Evil Queen: Mm, not the devil. My genie.
Aladdin: I'm sorry.
Evil Queen: I believe I have three wishes.
Aladdin: Go ahead. Wish. They always come with a price.
Evil Queen: [with relish] That they do. Which is why I'm not going to wish something for me.
[to Emma]
Evil Queen: I'm going to give you something. Something you've always wanted, something you confided about to Aladdin.
Emma Swan: You heard us?
Evil Queen: Don't you know by now? I hear everything. You wished you weren't the savior. So that's exactly what you're going to get. Genie of Agrabah, I wish that Emma Swan's wish to have never been the savior... be granted.

Henry Mills: Where did she go?
Captain Hook: We have no idea, Henry.
Regina Mills: But we're trying to figure that out, right? Because I didn't stay behind for you to screw things up.
David Nolan: Hey, take it easy on us. It was the queen.
Regina Mills: I know who it was. Maybe use some of that defensive energy to figure out where she is! You're her father. You must have some idea.
David Nolan: Yeah, I am her father. That doesn't mean I know everything. What about you, Hook? You live with her now. Did she give you any ideas?
Captain Hook: If I had an idea, don't you think I'd have bloody well mentioned it by now?
David Nolan: How do you share a home with someone and not know their secrets?
Captain Hook: Because we don't stand around and talk about what happens when a bloody genie appears, mate!

Mickey's House of Villains (2001) (V)
Cruella De Vil, Ursula, Captain Hook: Oh, Halloween at the House of Mouse, all treats and no tricks. If this were my house, I'd run things differently.
Ursula: Add a splash of evil?
Captain Hook: Pillage and plunger?
Iago: Blah, blah, blah. Every year it's the same thing. All talk and no play. What a bunch of dull villains.
Jafar: Well this year will be different.
Jafar: [Jafar holds a small hourglass]
Jafar: I've got a trick for Mickey Mouse. But you'll have to wait till midnight.

Cruella De Vil: Get those puppies!
Captain Hook: Game over, Mickey!

"The Nostalgia Critic: Hook (#3.32)" (2010)
Captain Hook: And you'd better deliver, Miss Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where I will send you.
Nostalgia Critic: There's a buttcrack with YOUR name on it.

Captain Hook: Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have decided to cancel the war.
Nostalgia Critic: I will instead run Ernest Goes to Camp.
[audience aw's]

Epic Mickey (2010) (VG)
[a robotic Captain Hook confronts Mickey on the Jolly Roger]
Captain Hook: You'd better not be plannin' on rescuin' the Sprite, lad. But... where are me manners? Welcome aboard! Finally! A worthy opponent for the great Captain Hook! Now, remember! Best keep your arms and legs inside the ship at all times. Ah-ha! I hope your geared up for this.
[pops out of various barrels as he says:]
Captain Hook: Because it's going to be... barrels... of fun! But don't let that crocodile near me!
[the battle with Captain Hook begins]

Pete: [as Pete Pan] So Hook, you wanna pick on someone your own size for once?
Captain Hook: What's this? Me old nemesis! I thought I've seen the last of you, boy! Have at you!

Sh! The Octopus (1937)
Captain Hook: I've been working on this case for nine years.
Detective Dempsey: Any clues?

Shrek the Third (2007)
Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, Peter Pan!
Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (2010) (VG)
[Holding Tinkerbell in his hand and Mickey's Star Fragment in his hook]
Captain Hook: [to Ven] A shooting star AND a Pixie. Must be me birthday.

Blondes Have More Guns (1996)
Captain Hook: We're placing her under surveillance.
[a knight in armor strolls through the police station]
Cops: Good night, Sir Valence!

Peter Pan (2000) (TV)
Mr. Darling & Captain Hook: At last I've reached me peak! I am the greatest villain of all times!

Peter Pan (1924)
Captain Hook: [in intertitles] Peter Pan, who and what art thou?
Peter Pan: [in intertitles] I'm youth, I'm joy! I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg!