The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: This isn't my real job, you know. Mary
: No? Lloyd
: Nope. My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store. Mary
: That's nice. Lloyd
: I got worms! Mary
: I beg your pardon? Lloyd
: That's what we're gonna call it. "I Got Worms!" We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.
: One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu. Mary
: Really? That's weird. Harry
: Yeah, we called it a bullshit.
: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together? Mary
: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really... Lloyd
: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances? Mary
: Not good. Lloyd
: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred? Mary
: I'd say more like one out of a million.
: So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!*
: So where are you headin'? Mary
: Aspen. Lloyd
: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!
: Nice set of hooters you got there! Mary
: I beg your pardon? Harry
: The owls! They're beautiful!
: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere? Mary
: How'd you guess? Lloyd
: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together.
: Okay, how do you guys know each other? Lloyd
: We used to be best friends. Harry
: Yeah, until he turned into a back-stabber. Lloyd
: Me, a back-stabber? You've got a lot of nerve. You knew I was crazy about her! Harry
: Yeah, and you knew I was crazy about Fraida Felcher, and that didn't stop you, did it? Lloyd
: What do you mean? Harry
: "What do you mean?" Don't deny it, Lloyd. Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler! I guess we both learned a little something about each other today. Lloyd
: You said it, pal. Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought. I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart, then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now. Harry
: You just tell me where to sign, bud. Lloyd
: Right on my ass after you kiss it! Harry
: You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips, right here!
: So you'll pick me up tonight at seven forty-five? Harry
: Well I got a few things to take care of. So how about we make it quarter to eight? Mary
] Stop it Harry
: Okay. Seven forty-five
[while looking back at Mary
: There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin...
[Lloyd drives right through a red light, causing a fatal accident visible in the window
: Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please? Lloyd
: Oh, yeah! Good thinking. You can't be too careful. There are a lot of bad drivers out there.
: [after hearing on TV about the kid who bought a dead bird
] Who are these sick people?
: I want to ask you a question... straight out, flat out... and I want you to give me an honest answer. What do you think the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together? Mary
: Well Lloyd... that's difficult to say... you really don't... Lloyd
: Hit me! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances? Mary
: Not good. Lloyd
] You mean, not good like one out of a hundred? Mary
: I'd say more like... one out of a million. Lloyd
: So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah!
: This is incredible. You mean to say you drove 2000 miles, just for me? Lloyd
: I-I didn't really have a-a lot to do... and I know how frustrating it can be to lose a bag.