Lloyd Christmas
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Lloyd Christmas (Character)
from Dumb & Dumber (1994)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Lloyd Christmas: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry Dunne: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.

Harry Dunne: So you got fired again, eh?
Lloyd Christmas: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?
Harry Dunne: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.
Lloyd Christmas: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.
Harry Dunne: No, none taken. You know what really chaps my ass though? I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog. The alarm alone cost me two hundred.
Lloyd Christmas: Hey, chicks love it. It's a shaggin' wagon.

Lloyd Christmas: All we need to do is show a little class, a little sophistication, and we're in like a dirty shirt.
Harry Dunne: No problem, Lloyd. We can be classy and sophistic... Oh, check out the funbags on that hosehound.
Lloyd Christmas: I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.

Harry Dunne: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd Christmas: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.

Lloyd Christmas: If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.

Harry Dunne: Hi, Lloyd.
Lloyd Christmas: Hi, Harry.
Harry Dunne: How was your day?
Lloyd Christmas: Not bad. Fell off the jet way again.

Harry Dunne: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.

Lloyd Christmas: Skis, huh?
Beth: That's right!
Lloyd Christmas: Great! They yours?
Beth: Uh-huh.
Lloyd Christmas: Both of 'em?
Beth: Yes.
Lloyd Christmas: Ah... cool!

Lloyd Christmas: We got no food, we got no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

[Harry and Lloyd are spending the evening in a romantic-themed motel]
Harry Dunne: I don't know, Lloyd. These places always seem to bring back a lot of bad memories.
Lloyd Christmas: What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry Dunne: No, it was a girl.

Lloyd Christmas: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.

Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me, Flo?
[Harry and Lloyd crack up]
Lloyd Christmas: Flo, like the TV show. Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Waitress #1: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd Christmas: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.

Lloyd Christmas: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Bus Stop Beauty: Austria.
Lloyd Christmas: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Bus Stop Beauty: Let's not.

Lloyd Christmas: This isn't my real job, you know.
Mary Swanson: No?
Lloyd Christmas: Nope. My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store.
Mary Swanson: That's nice.
Lloyd Christmas: I got worms!
Mary Swanson: I beg your pardon?
Lloyd Christmas: That's what we're gonna call it. "I Got Worms!" We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.

Lloyd Christmas: Suck me sideways.

Airport Clerk: Sir, you can't go in there!
Lloyd Christmas: It's ok, I'm a limo driver!

Lloyd Christmas: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary Swanson: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd Christmas: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary Swanson: Not good.
Lloyd Christmas: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary Swanson: I'd say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd Christmas: So you're telling me there's a chance... YEAH!

Lloyd Christmas: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry Dunne: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd Christmas: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry Dunne: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.

Lloyd Christmas: So where are you headin'?
Mary Swanson: Aspen.
Lloyd Christmas: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!

Lloyd Christmas: I'll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day!
Harry Dunne: No way!
Lloyd Christmas: I'll give you three to one odds.
Harry Dunne: No.
Lloyd Christmas: Five to one.
Harry Dunne: No.
Lloyd Christmas: Ten to one?
Harry Dunne: You're on!
Lloyd Christmas: I'm gonna get ya!
Harry Dunne: Nuh uh!
Lloyd Christmas: I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya.

[coming out of the 7-11]
Lloyd Christmas: Hey, guys. Whoa, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see you later.

Lloyd Christmas: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Mary Swanson: How'd you guess?
Lloyd Christmas: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together.

Lloyd Christmas: Hey, look, the Monkees. They were a huge influence on the Beatles.

[man and woman walk by]
Harry Dunne: Ooh, look at the buns on that one.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, he must work out.

Lloyd Christmas: You're it.
Harry Dunne: You're it.
Lloyd Christmas: You're it, quitsies!
Harry Dunne: Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd Christmas: You can't do that!
Harry Dunne: Can too!
Lloyd Christmas: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry Dunne: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd Christmas: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry Dunne: No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Lloyd Christmas: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Mary Swanson: Okay, how do you guys know each other?
Lloyd Christmas: We used to be best friends.
Harry Dunne: Yeah, until he turned into a back-stabber.
Lloyd Christmas: Me, a back-stabber? You've got a lot of nerve. You knew I was crazy about her!
Harry Dunne: Yeah, and you knew I was crazy about Fraida Felcher, and that didn't stop you, did it?
Lloyd Christmas: What do you mean?
Harry Dunne: "What do you mean?" Don't deny it, Lloyd. Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler! I guess we both learned a little something about each other today.
Lloyd Christmas: You said it, pal. Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought. I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart, then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now.
Harry Dunne: You just tell me where to sign, bud.
Lloyd Christmas: Right on my ass after you kiss it!
Harry Dunne: You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips, right here!

Lloyd Christmas: I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad.
Harry Dunne: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd Christmas: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.

State Trooper: Pullover!
Harry Dunne: No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, killer boots man!

Harry Dunne: I can't believe it.
Lloyd Christmas: Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you're chewin' on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.
Harry Dunne: But he blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words.
Lloyd Christmas: Not if you count the gurgling sound.

Lloyd Christmas: [sees framed newspaper article about moon landing] No, way! That's great.
Lloyd Christmas: WE'VE LANDED ON THE MOON!

[while looking back at Mary]
Lloyd Christmas: There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin...
[Lloyd drives right through a red light, causing a fatal accident visible in the window]
Mary Swanson: Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please?
Lloyd Christmas: Oh, yeah! Good thinking. You can't be too careful. There are a lot of bad drivers out there.

Harry Dunne: What's her last name? I'll look it up.
Lloyd Christmas: You know, I don't really recall. Starts with an S! Let's see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
Harry Dunne: Maybe it's on the briefcase.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh, yeah! It's right here.
[He reads the manufacturer's name, which is Samsonite]
Lloyd Christmas: Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.

Lloyd Christmas: Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?

Beth: So I told myself. Beth you just got to run girl and oh you know what that clutz did next?
Lloyd Christmas: No and I DON'T CARE!

Lloyd Christmas: We don't usually pick up hitchhikers. But I'm-a gonna go with my instincts on this one. Saddle up, partner!

Lloyd Christmas: Mock
Harry Dunne: Yeah!
Lloyd Christmas: Ing
Harry Dunne: Yeah!
Lloyd Christmas: Bird
Harry Dunne: Yeah!
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah!
Harry Dunne: Yeah!

Lloyd Christmas: She actually talked to me.
Harry Dunne: Get outta here!

Lloyd Christmas: Some people just aren't cut out for life on the road.

Harry Dunne: Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg...
Lloyd Christmas: Okay, kill him!

Harry Dunne: What's in the briefcase?
Lloyd Christmas: Man, I would have to be a real lowlife to go rooting around in someone else's private property.
Harry Dunne: Is it locked?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah. Really well.

Harry Dunne: Where's the booze?
Lloyd Christmas: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Harry Dunne: Oh, no, no.
Lloyd Christmas: Come on, Harry.
Harry Dunne: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah?
Harry Dunne: He's dead.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
Harry Dunne: His head fell off.
Lloyd Christmas: His head fell off?
Harry Dunne: Yeah. He was pretty old.

Lloyd Christmas: I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.

Lloyd Christmas: I said, "Do you love me?" and she said, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."

Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me, little old lady. Do you have change for a dollar?
Elderly Lady: Change? No I'm sorry, I don't.
Lloyd Christmas: Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar?
Elderly Lady: Of course.
Lloyd Christmas: Thanks. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me.

Lloyd Christmas: [after a confrontation with Sea Bass] You really wimped out, man.
Harry Dunne: What are you talking about, wimped out? Wha... Did you see? The guy hawked on my burger!

[first lines]
Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? I'm supposed to be giving a lecture in 20 minutes, and my driver's a bit lost.

Lloyd Christmas: [Opening the door on Nicholas Andre, who he thinks is a hotel employee] We have plenty of towels - thank you!

Harry Dunne: Weirdo.
Lloyd Christmas: Sucker of big, brown dirty eggs.
Harry Dunne: Moron.
Lloyd Christmas: Raider of the lost fart.
Harry Dunne: Buttfish.
Lloyd Christmas: Masterbatorio... er, soiler of towels.
Nicholas Andre: SHUT UP!

Lloyd Christmas: Husband? Wait a minute. What was all that "one in a million" talk?

Lloyd Christmas: [to Harry] How about you go over and introduce yourself, build me up, that way I don't have to brag about myself later.

Lloyd Christmas: [Harry is choking him barehanded on a picnic table in Aspen] Harry, your hands are freezing!

Harry Dunne: [shivering] Lloyd, I can't feel my fingers, they're numb!
Lloyd Christmas: Oh, well. Here, take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty.
Harry Dunne: Extra gloves? You've had extra gloves this whole time?
Lloyd Christmas: Uh, yeah, we are in the Rockies. Jeez!

Lloyd Christmas: [as he leaves a convenience store, Lloyd encounters two black guys] Hey, guys. Oh, Big Gulps, huh? All right... Well, see you later!

Harry Dunne: Where did you get those?
Lloyd Christmas: I bought them when we filled up.
Harry Dunne: We are supposed to talk about all expenditures Lloyd! We are on a very tight budget.
Lloyd Christmas: This didn't come out of our travel fund.
Harry Dunne: Oh.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.
Harry Dunne: Where did you get 25 extra becks?
Lloyd Christmas: I sold some stuff, to Billy in 4C.
Harry Dunne: The blind kid?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, ha ha! Yeah.
Harry Dunne: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd Christmas: Stuff.
Harry Dunne: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd Christmas: I don't know, a few baseball cards, a sack of marbles,
Lloyd Christmas: Petey.
Harry Dunne: Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd! Petey didn't even have a head!
Lloyd Christmas: Harry, I took care of it...
[cuts to shot of Billy's hands stroking the stiff bird with it's head wrapped in scotch tape]
Billy: Pretty bird. Yes, can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird, yeah pretty bird... Polly want a cracker?

Harry Dunne: [a large bus full of gorgeous women in bikinis pull up beside them and three step out]
Bikini Girl: Hi guys. We're going on a national bikini tour, and we're looking for two oil boys who can grease us off before each competition.
Lloyd Christmas: You are in luck! There's a town about three miles that way. I'm sure you'll find a couple guys there.
Bikini Girl: [baffled] Okay, thanks.
[the doors close and the bus drives off. After a second, Lloyd turns to Harry]
Harry Dunne: Do you realize what you've done?
[they run after the bus]
Harry Dunne: HEY! HEY!
Lloyd Christmas: Lloyd! Lloyd!
[the bus stops and opens the doors]
Harry Dunne: [panting] You'll have to excuse my friend. He's a little slow. The town is back *that* way.

Harry Dunne: Would you like an atomic pepper, Mr. Mentalino?
Joe Mentalino: Nah, you guys go ahead.
Harry Dunne: I'll do it if you will, Lloyd.
Lloyd Christmas: Okay. You go first.
Harry Dunne: No no. You go first.
Lloyd Christmas: You go first.
Harry Dunne: You go first! I always go first!
Lloyd Christmas: You go first!
Joe Mentalino: Why don't you guys both stop acting like a couple of pussies and go at the same time, huh?
Lloyd Christmas: That sounds like a dare, Har.
Joe Mentalino: It's a *double* dare!
Harry Dunne: Yeah, okay. You're on!

Lloyd Christmas: I want to ask you a question... straight out, flat out... and I want you to give me an honest answer. What do you think the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary Swanson: Well Lloyd... that's difficult to say... you really don't...
Lloyd Christmas: Hit me! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary Swanson: Not good.
Lloyd Christmas: [Gulps] You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary Swanson: I'd say more like... one out of a million.
Lloyd Christmas: So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah!

Harry Dunne: I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, that John Denver is full of shit, man.

Mary Swanson: This is incredible. You mean to say you drove 2000 miles, just for me?
Lloyd Christmas: I-I didn't really have a-a lot to do... and I know how frustrating it can be to lose a bag.

Lloyd Christmas: You spilled the salt, that's what's the matter! Spilling the salt is very bad luck! We're driving across the country, the last thing we need is bad luck. Quick, toss some salt over your right shoulder.
Harry Dunne: [Tosses the entire salt shaker over his shoulder]
Sea Bass: What the hell? Who's the dead man that hit me with the salt shaker?

Lloyd Christmas: Listen, Mr. Samsonite, about the briefcase, my friend Harry and I have every intention of fully reimbursing you.
Nicholas Andre: Open it up. Open it up!
Lloyd Christmas: [Motioning to Mary] Go ahead, open it up. Do what he says. Hurry.
Nicholas Andre: What is this? What is this? Where's all the money?
Lloyd Christmas: That's as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.'s. Go ahead and add it up, every cent's accounted for. Look, see this? That's a car. 275 thou. Might wanna hang onto that one.

Harry Dunne: That was genius, Lloyd, sheer genius. I mean where did you come up with a scam like that?
Lloyd Christmas: Saw it in a movie once.
Harry Dunne: That's incredible! So what happened, so the guy tricks some sucker into picking up his tab and gets away with it scott free?
Lloyd Christmas: No, in the movie, they catch up to him half mile down the road and slit his throat! Ha ha ha! It was a good one.

Lloyd Christmas: [after getting off the moped with Harry frozen to his back] Got a little nippy going through the pass, huh, Har?

Lloyd Christmas: [after Harry saves his life] Harry, you're alive. And a horrible shot!

Lloyd Christmas: [while telling Harry what to tell Mary about himself] Tell her I'm rich, and I'm good looking, and I have, uh, a rapist's wit.

State Trooper: [Harry is driving fast and a cop is behind him and Lloyd] Pull over!
Harry Dunne: What?
State Trooper: Pull over!
Harry Dunne: [realizes he's holding beer bottles that Lloyd urinated in; shows his sweater] No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'!
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, killer boots, man!
State Trooper: Pull your vehicle to the side of the road! License and registration, please. You fellas were going a little fast back there, wouldn't you say? You fellas been doing a bit of boozin', have ya? Suckin back on grandpa's old cough medicine?
Harry Dunne: No, sir.
Lloyd Christmas: No.
State Trooper: [points to the beer bottles] Yeah, well what's that?
Harry Dunne: That's nothing, sir.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, nothing.
State Trooper: Yeah, well are you aware that it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on, give me that booze, you little pumpkin pie, hair-cutted freak, come on!
[Harry complies; the cop prepares to drink it, not knowing that Lloyd peed in it]
Harry Dunne: Sir, no! Wait, wait, wait!
Lloyd Christmas: No, sir, don't!
State Trooper: You keep your mouth shut if you know it's good for ya, buddy!
[takes a swig, only to realize he just drank urine]
Lloyd Christmas: Tic-Tac, sir?
State Trooper: Get the hell out of here!
[on the verge of gagging]

Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me, gunman. Who are you?
Nicholas Andre: Don't play dumb with me, asshole! I'm the rightful owner of the briefcase you've been carrying around!

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)
Mrs. Dunne: Hey, fellas, it's getting kind of late. Come on.
Lloyd Christmas: Can I be on top?
Harry Dunne: Only if I can be on bottom.
Lloyd Christmas: All Right!

Lloyd Christmas: Chicks are for fags!

Harry: You found my treasure? Why didn't you tell me?
Lloyd Christmas: Three words: I did.

Ray: What are you crazy boys doing in my tool shed?
Lloyd Christmas: We're not crazy, dad. We're special, and Principal Collins wants us to have our own special class room.
Ray: [Happy] My boy's special! How about that!
[Hugs Lloyd]
Ray: I knew you were different!

Lloyd Christmas: Somebody chipped my tooth!
Harry: How do you think I feel? Somebody bit me in the forehead!

Lloyd Christmas: You know, you're the first person I ever brought here, Harry.
Harry Dunne: Is this your special place?
Lloyd Christmas: No, I just usually eat in the crapper. Yeah. Saves time. Out with the old, in with the new.

[Harry is about to throw away Lloyd's chipped tooth]
Lloyd: No! Wait - save it for the Tooth Fairy.
Harry: I happen to know for a fact that my mother is the Tooth Fairy.
Lloyd: No way! Your mom's the Tooth Fairy?
Harry: Yeah, she flies around at night while I'm asleep.
Lloyd: Well nice to meet you. I'm Lloyd Christmas.
Harry: Well, I'll be. Here I am bragging about how my mom's the Tooth Fairy and you're dad's Santa Claus!

Lloyd Christmas: There's gonna be chicks all over us. It's gonna be so faggy, I don't think I can stand it.

Principal Collins: You know, Honey... I think I've finally figured out a way to bilk this school out of enough money to get us that condo in Waikiki.
Ms. Heller: How, Sweet Baby? You've done it all.
Principal Collins: Small potatoes. This is the big one. This is visionary. This idea is genius.
[Ms. Heller giggles]
Principal Collins: Look at this. The "Richard Moffitt Special Needs Grant".
Ms. Heller: Mm-hmm.
Principal Collins: This Moffitt guy used to be in a Special Needs program, & then he learns to string a couple of sentences together and now he's some big hotshot. Anyway, the State is giving 100 Grand in his name to every school that has a Special Needs Class.
Ms. Heller: This is fantastic!
Principal Collins: Mm-hmm.
Ms. Heller: All we have to do is *kill* this Moffitt guy, & we get all the money.
Principal Collins: No.
[Ms. Heller sighs]
Principal Collins: No. What we need is to set up a *fake* Special Needs Class.
Ms. Heller: We start our own class.
Principal Collins: Problem is, where do we find kids... we can pass off as "Special"?
Lloyd Christmas: O.k., that's high enough! Thanks, Turk.
Harry Dunne: I'm flying! Woo-hoo! So this is what a flag sees all day.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah.
Harry Dunne: And your friend Turk is totally great.
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah, he's Aces, huh?
[to Turk, below]
Lloyd Christmas: Hey, thanks, Turk! We're so high!
[Turk laughs]
Principal Collins: Bingo.

[Turk comes up behind Lloyd and grabs him in a Head-Lock. Lloyd introduces him to Harry]
Lloyd: This is my Mohawk friend, Turk. He's part of the "Cool Crowd".
[to Turk]
Lloyd: Hey, Kimosabe!
Turk: Shut up, Ass-Face.
Lloyd: That's the Iroquois name he gave me for having the strong face of an ass.

Harry Dunne: [Harry is covered in mud and hit by Jessica's dad's car] Charlie!
Jessica's Dad: Oh, my God... it's you... you're the guy that crapped up my house! What are you... you're covered in *shit*! My car's covered in *shit*!
Harry Dunne: No, no, no, no... It's not that?
[gets off the hood and starts to walk off]
Jessica's Dad: There's crap all over my hood! You got feces all over my mercedes! It's in my grill! My car's covered in shit!
Lloyd: Who's that?
Harry Dunne: That's Jessica's Dad. She says he's really anal.
Lloyd: [Winces, disgusted] Ew... ugh, that's gross.
Jessica's Dad: [as they walk off, fading out] Get back here! I'm not cleaning this up! I'm gonna have to have this towed! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and *fecal* matter?
[Fade out]

Turk: So were you held back two years like Lloyd?
Harry Dunne: No, I was held back three.
Lloyd Christmas: By your mom?

[Lewis is getting his mascot's head taken off]
Lewis: Aah.
Harry Dunne: Whoa! The half boy / half horse.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh! That's more of what we're looking for.
Harry Dunne: He's *super* special.
Lewis: Well... I mean, I got to get a job anyway. So if I - if I sign your thing, I can just come and go whenever I want to?
Lloyd Christmas: You were born free, and free you shall remain.

Lloyd: Whoa! Look at Jessica, look at her milk bubbles, and her shorts are really short!
Harry Dunne: I know...
Lloyd: Yea, last time I wore shorts that short, I got beat up!