Fred Haise
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Quotes for
Fred Haise (Character)
from Apollo 13 (1995)

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Apollo 13 (1995)
Jim Lovell: Just a little while longer Freddo. Just a little while longer, we're gonna hit that water in the South Pacific. Open up that hatch. It's 80 degrees out there.
Fred Haise, Sr.: 80 degrees.

[as they pass over the lunar surface]
Fred Haise, Sr.: Mare Tranquilitatis - Neil and Buzz's old neighborhood. Coming up on Mount Marilyn. Jim, you've got to take a look at this.
Jim Lovell: I've seen it.

Jack Swigert: I've been going over the numbers again. Have they called up with a re-entry plan yet? 'Cause we're coming in too shallow, we're coming in too damn fast.
Jim Lovell: We're working on something, Jack, just hold on.
Jack Swigert: Listen, listen, they gave us too much delta vee, they had us burn too long. At this rate, we're going to skip right out of the atmosphere and we're never going to get home.
Fred Haise, Sr.: What are you talking about? How'd you figure that?
Jack Swigert: I can add.
Jim Lovell: Jack, they've got half the Ph.D.'s on the planet working on it.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Houston says we're right on the money.
Jack Swigert: And what if they had made a mistake, all right? And there was no way to reverse it, you think they would tell us? There's no reason for them to tell us!
Fred Haise, Sr.: What do you mean they're not going to tell us? That's bullshit!
Jim Lovell: All right, there's a thousand things that have to happen in order. We are on number eight. You're talking about number six hundred and ninety-two.
Jack Swigert: And in the meantime, I'm trying to tell you we're coming in too fast. I think they know it, and I think that's why we don't have a God-damned reentry plan.
Jim Lovell: That's duly noted, thank you Jack.

Jim Lovell: Uh, Houston, we are ready for the beginning of PTC, and I think once we're in that barbecue roll, Jack and I will eat.
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey, I'm hungry.
Jim Lovell: Are you sure?
Fred Haise, Sr.: I could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.

Reporter: So... the number 13 doesn't bother you?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Only if it's a Friday, Phil.
Reporter: Apollo 13 - lifting off at 1300 hours and 13 minutes, and, entering the moon's gravity on April 13th.
Jim Lovell: Uh, Ken Mattingly has been doing some... scientific experiments regarding that very phenomenon, haven't you?
Ken Mattingly: Well, uh, yes, well I uh, had a black cat walk over a broken mirror under the lunar module ladder, didn't seem to be a problem.
Fred Haise, Sr.: We also consider a real helpful letter we got from a fellow who said we ought to take a pig up with us for good luck.

Fred Haise: It hurts when I urinate.
Jim Lovell: Well, you're not getting enough water.
Fred Haise: No, I'm drinkin' my rations, same as you... I think old Swigert gave me the clap. Been pissin' in my relief tube.
Jim Lovell: Well, that'd be a hot one at the debriefing for the flight surgeons... Another first for America's spacemen.

Jim Lovell: Freddo, how long does it take to power up the LEM?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Three hours by the checklist.
Jim Lovell: We don't have that much time.

Jack Swigert: [Swigert bumps his head on the ceiling of the crowded lunar module] Oww! Goddamn this piece of shit!
Fred Haise, Sr.: Hey! this piece of shit's going to get you home! That's 'cause that's the only thing we've got left, Jack.
Jack Swigert: Well, what are you saying, Fred?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Oh, I think you know what I'm saying...
Jack Swigert: Now wait a minute... all I did was stir those tanks...
Fred Haise, Sr.: What was that gauge reading before you hit the switch?
Jack Swigert: Hey, don't tell me how to fly the damned CM, all right? They brought me in here to do a job, they asked me to stir the damned tanks, and I stirred the tanks!
Fred Haise, Sr.: You didn't know what you were doing, do you?
Jim Lovell: Jack, quit kicking yourself in the ass.
Jack Swigert: This is NOT MY FAULT!
Jim Lovell: No one is saying it is. If I'm in the left-hand seat when the call comes up, *I* stir the tanks.
Jack Swigert: Yeah, well, tell *him* that.
Fred Haise, Sr.: I just asked you what the gauge was reading. AND YOU DON'T KNOW!
Jim Lovell: All right, we're not doing this, gentlemen. We are *not* going to do this. We're not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, 'cause we're just going to end up back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!

[after a dispute has broken out between Haise and Swigert]
Jim Lovell: All right, we're not doing this, gentlemen. We are *not* doing this. We're not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, 'cause we're just going to end up back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
William 'Bill' Pogue, CAPCOM: [over communications mic] Aquarius, this is Houston.
Jim Lovell: [shouts] Are we on Vox?
Fred Haise, Sr.: No, we're not on Vox.
[Lovell turns on his mic]
Jim Lovell: [calmly] Yeah, Houston, this is Aquarius.

Fred Haise, Sr.: I know why my numbers were wrong. I only figured it for two people.
Jack Swigert: Maybe I should just hold my breath.

William 'Bill' Pogue, CAPCOM: Aquarius, watch that middle gimbal. We don't want you tumbling off into space.
Jim Lovell: Freddo, inform Houston I'm well aware of the God-damned gimbals!
Fred Haise, Sr.: [calmly] Roger that, Houston.
Jim Lovell: I don't need to hear the obvious, I've got the frappin' 8-ball right in front of me!
INCO White: Hey, we're on VOX.
William 'Bill' Pogue, CAPCOM: Aquarius, this is Houston. We've got you both on VOX.
Fred Haise, Sr.: You want what, you want us to go to VOX?
William 'Bill' Pogue, CAPCOM: You have a hot mic, we're reading everything you say.
Fred Haise, Sr.: [sheepish] Sorry, Jim.
[Fred switches the microphones to push-to-talk]

[Lovell and Haise are trying to get control of the lunar module]
Jim Lovell: We're all out of whack. We try to pitch down but we yaw to the left. Why can't I null this out?
Fred Haise, Sr.: She wasn't designed to fly attached like this. Our center of gravity is the command module.
Jim Lovell: It's like flying with a dead elephant on our back.

Jim Lovell: [Jack has just killed himself, Jim and Fred in the NASA simulator during a failed attempt at reentry] So what happened?
Jack Swigert: [morosely] Came in too steep. We're dead.
Fred Haise, Sr.: [even more morose] No shit.

Fred Haise, Sr.: [NASA need the crew to fabricate an air filter to clear the excess CO2 from the LEM with nothing but odds and ends] They want you to rip the cover off the flightplan.
Jack Swigert: With pleasure.

Fred Haise, Sr.: [after faultlessly performing numerous crucial operations that it was never designed for, thereby saving the astronauts' lives, the crew must jettison their Lunar Excursion Module, "Aquarius". Fred watches through the window as it drifts off into space] She sure was a good ship.
Jack Swigert: Farewell, Aquarius, and we thank you.