Captain Thaddeus Harris
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes
The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.
Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.

[Captain Harris, with the word Dork burned into his chest, approaches a bar where Cmndt. Lassard, Chief Hurst, Chief Murdock, and the Mayor of Miami are seated]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Oh Mr. Mayor, excuse me sir. I don't mean to insult your city, but the people on this beach are very rude and hostile.
Mayor of Miami: Well, I'm sorry to hear that... Captain Dork!
[the gentlemen at the bar break down in laughter, and Harris finally realizes what has been burned on to his chest]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick...
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.
[Leaves]
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.
Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?
Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor! Where is Proctor?

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: You'll never get away with this, you two-bit filthy scum!
Tony: What did he call me?
Mouse: Scum.
Tony: Ah. Well, perhaps you'd like to leave now.
[snaps fingers]
Tony: Mouse?
[Mouse cocks his pistol]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: [laughs weakly] About that "filthy scum" comment...
Tony: Shut up, shark bait.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: "Shark bait"?


Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Captain Harris: Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Citizens On Patrol. What a joke. You know what C.O.P. really stands for Proctor?
Proctor: No sir what?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Collection Of Pissants.
[Proctor laughs]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: That's not funny Proctor.
Proctor: No sir.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor, this is an alley.
Proctor: I know sir but these are the directions Mahoney gave me.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Mahoney?
Proctor: Yes he says this restaurant has the best salad bar in town.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Well it damn sure better have!
[they go inside]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor, I don't see a salad bar.
Proctor: [sees the name of the restaurant, "The Blue Oyster"] Look sir. Maybe they serve seafood.
[laughs]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Not funny you idiot!

Captain Harris: [finding Zed and Laura by the pool] This is not a spawning pool!

Captain Harris: What are you looking at, you... peckerhead!


Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
Captain Harris: Proctor! You have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout. And Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note... I will shoot you.

[Harris has just been hurt in a multi-car pile-up]
Lt. Proctor: Sir...
Captain Harris: Don't say it, Proctor!
Lt. Proctor: But sir...
Captain Harris: Don't say it!
[Harris walks away]
Lt. Proctor: Told him so.
Captain Harris: [From a distance away] I heard that!

Mayor: Hello, guys and gals! Oh, boy. I wish I had a picture of your stupid faces!
Captain Harris: Mr. Mayor!
Mayor: Hello, Harris, you stupid twit!


Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here!
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either!