Captain Thaddeus Harris
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Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.
Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.

[Captain Harris, with the word Dork burned into his chest, approaches a bar where Cmndt. Lassard, Chief Hurst, Chief Murdock, and the Mayor of Miami are seated]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Oh Mr. Mayor, excuse me sir. I don't mean to insult your city, but the people on this beach are very rude and hostile.
Mayor of Miami: Well, I'm sorry to hear that... Captain Dork!
[the gentlemen at the bar break down in laughter, and Harris finally realizes what has been burned on to his chest]

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick...
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.
Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?
Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor! Where is Proctor?

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: You'll never get away with this, you two-bit filthy scum!
Tony: What did he call me?
Mouse: Scum.
Tony: Ah. Well, perhaps you'd like to leave now.
[snaps fingers]
Tony: Mouse?
[Mouse cocks his pistol]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: [laughs weakly] About that "filthy scum" comment...
Tony: Shut up, shark bait.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: "Shark bait"?

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Captain Harris: Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Citizens On Patrol. What a joke. You know what C.O.P. really stands for Proctor?
Proctor: No sir what?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Collection Of Pissants.
[Proctor laughs]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: That's not funny Proctor.
Proctor: No sir.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor, this is an alley.
Proctor: I know sir but these are the directions Mahoney gave me.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Mahoney?
Proctor: Yes he says this restaurant has the best salad bar in town.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Well it damn sure better have!
[they go inside]
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor, I don't see a salad bar.
Proctor: [sees the name of the restaurant, "The Blue Oyster"] Look sir. Maybe they serve seafood.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Not funny you idiot!

Captain Harris: [finding Zed and Laura by the pool] This is not a spawning pool!

Captain Harris: What are you looking at, you... peckerhead!

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
Captain Harris: Proctor! You have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout. And Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note... I will shoot you.

[Harris has just been hurt in a multi-car pile-up]
Lt. Proctor: Sir...
Captain Harris: Don't say it, Proctor!
Lt. Proctor: But sir...
Captain Harris: Don't say it!
[Harris walks away]
Lt. Proctor: Told him so.
Captain Harris: [From a distance away] I heard that!

Mayor: Hello, guys and gals! Oh, boy. I wish I had a picture of your stupid faces!
Captain Harris: Mr. Mayor!
Mayor: Hello, Harris, you stupid twit!

Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here!
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either!