Mary Ann Summers
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Quotes for
Mary Ann Summers (Character)
from "Gilligan's Island" (1964)

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Rescue from Gilligan's Island (1978) (TV)
Mary Ann: He didn't mean any harm, Skipper.
Skipper: Neither did the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.

[Spotting a Coast Guard helicopter]
Skipper: I can't believe it. After 15 years, we're finally rescued.
Mr. Howell: Rescued.
Mrs. Howell: Rescued.
Ginger Grant: Rescued.
Mary Ann: Rescued.
Professor: Rescued.
Gilligan: Rescued.

"Gilligan's Island: Up at Bat (#3.1)" (1966)
[dream sequence, arriving at a vampire's castle]
Professor Roy Hinkley: [as "Sherlock"] I am inspector Sherlock and this is my associate, Colonel Watney.
Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: [as "Watney"] How do you do?
Professor Roy Hinkley: Have you been expecting us?
Mary Ann Summers: [as the castle caretaker] Expecting you? Five years ago I wrote you to come investigate the strange happenings in this house. FIVE YEARS! What took you so long?
Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: W-w-well the fact is... uh... we had trouble getting a Hansom Cab!
Professor Roy Hinkley: Eh... precisely! We had to WALK!
Mary Ann Summers: You walked? All the way from England?
Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: Yes, and of course, crossing the channel was devilishly slow. You see it was take one step, and come up for air, and then take another step, and come up for air...
Mary Ann Summers: Never mind!

Ginger Grant: [Looking into a mirror] All I get is a blank expression.
Mary Ann Summers: You don't need a mirror, you're still beautiful.
Ginger Grant: Oh, I know. But I like to get another opinion.

"Gilligan's Island: The Hunter (#3.18)" (1967)
Mary Ann Summers: [thinking she's been chosen to be hunted] Me?
Jonathan Kincaid: My dear, shooting you would be like shooting an Easter bunny.

"Gilligan's Island: Meet the Meteor (#2.32)" (1966)
Mary Ann Summers: [Gilligan is standing guard outside a hut where the Professor and the Skipper are assembling a geiger counter] Is everyone ready for the Christmas party?
Ginger Grant: Christmas party? You mean birthday party!
Lovey Howell: Anniversary party!
Thurston Howell III: Young man, what do you have to say for yourself?
Gilligan: Just one word.
[turns and opens door of hut]
Gilligan: HELP!
[Skipper and Professor fall over in surprise, ruining progress on assembling the Geiger counter]

"Gilligan's Island: Erika Tiffany-Smith to the Rescue (#2.15)" (1965)
Mary Ann Summers: Mister Howell, I don't even think she saw me.
Thurston Howell III: Well of course not, she has something in her eye - a man.

"Gilligan's Island: The Friendly Physician (#2.29)" (1966)
Mary Ann Summers: [kisses Dr. Balinkoff] That's for seeing our fire
Ginger Grant: [also kisses him] That's for coming to our rescue
Mary Ann Summers: [kisses him again] That's for taking us off the island
Dr. Boris Balinkoff: [Ginger gives him a long passionate kiss on the lips] What was that for?
Ginger Grant: That's for being a man!

"Gilligan's Island: Pass the Vegetables, Please (#3.3)" (1966)
Mary Ann Summers: [after she pulls out a strange piece of vegetable] I've never seen anything like this on the farm. Except under a cow.

"Gilligan's Island: And Then There Were None (#3.13)" (1966)
[Dream sequence: "Doctor" Gilligan is on trial, accused of being Mr. Hyde. Mary Ann is a coarse "Eliza Dolittle" type appearing as character witness]
Mary Ann Summers: Just a poor cockney flower girl, that's all Ah is! But Ah owes *everything* to Doctor Gilligan. 'E taught me to *walk*, and to *talk*, and to *dress*, like a regular LADY! 'E give me real CLASS 'e did!
[blows nose loudly]

"Baywatch: Now Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale (#2.16)" (1992)
Willy Gilligan: I can't belive this. We're shipwrecked again!
Mary Ann Summers: But at least we're all safe. That's the important thing.
Captain Don Thorpe: Skipper, what are we going to do? I just bought my first corporation. Thorp Corp, and I so wanted to be there this morning for they're putting my name on the door.
Shauni McClain: What about the movie? They could give my part to someone else.
Willy Gilligan: You'll get used to that being shipwrecked.
[canned laughter from a laugh-track is heard]
Eddie Kramer: What was that?
Willy Gilligan: You'll get used to that too.

"Gilligan's Island: Gilligan's Living Doll (#2.21)" (1966)
Professor Roy Hinkley: [All the castaways are present, seated or standing around the communal table with the radio on it. They are all ad-libbing as the Professor hears the radio] Wait a minute! Quiet! The announcement, quiet! Quiet!
Radio Announcer: And now they are activating the robot's receptor spools to see if they can find out how it got to Hawaii. The next voice you hear will be that of the robot.
Robot: [mechanically] I have been on a deserted island. The putt breaks to the right.
Thurston Howell III: Well, it was a lucky shot!
Robot: [mechanically] Sweep back and forth, back and forth. I was stranded. This is the way we wash our clothes.
Radio Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the scientists from the laboratory are checking to see exactly what went wrong. Perhaps now we can learn the reason the recorded messages are all scrambled... A WHAT?... Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, a RABBIT'S FOOT was just found in the robot!
[Everyone slowly looks directly at Gilligan, with those who were seated slowly getting up. Gilligan smiles rather embarrassingly whilst shying away from their stares]
Radio Announcer: It demagnetized the entire receptor spools. There is now no chance of finding out where the robot has been, who reprogrammed it, or how it got to Hawaii. For that matter, how the rabbit's foot got in there in the first place!
Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby, Thurston Howell III, Mrs. Lovey Howell, Ginger Grant, Professor Roy Hinkley, Mary Ann Summers: [Almost unbelievingly] GILLIGAN?
Gilligan: I just thought it'd bring us some luck, ya know?
[Gilligan then slips under the table while the Skipper and Professor go after him as the scene fades out]

"Gilligan's Island: Home Sweet Hut (#1.2)" (1964)
Mary Ann Summers: I used to be a Girl Scout, and they teach you a lot!
Ginger: I used to go with a Boy Scout, and they teach you a lot, too.