Montel Gordon
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Quotes for
Montel Gordon (Character)
from Traffic (2000)

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Traffic (2000)
Montel Gordon: So you pay off customs officials?
Montel Gordon: Well, you know, in Mexico, law enforcement is an entrepreneurial activity. Not so much in the states, anyway, we, uh... We hire drivers with nothing and throw a lot of product at the problem. Some gets stopped, enough gets through. It's not difficult. Look, boys, this has worked for years, okay. It's going to continue to work for years.

Ray Castro: Hey sugarfoot! How do you like your new place?
[Agents Laugh]
Eduardo Ruiz: You got to be kidding me. This is not what my lawyers negotiated.
Montel Gordon: Fuck your lawyers. You aren't getting any cappuccino or Biscotti either. You don't like it, call 1-800-CRIMINAL.
[Agents Laugh]

Eduardo Ruiz: This is coercion.
Montel Gordon: Coercion. That's a pretty big word for a fisherman.
Ray Castro: Big-ass word.
Eduardo Ruiz: Oh, yeah? I know another big word: immunity.

[Ray Castro is smoking]
Montel Gordon: You should really try a patch.
Ray Castro: Oh man, that shit doesn't work.
Montel Gordon: It worked for my cousin.
Ray Castro: Yeah?
Montel Gordon: Well he had to wear about 6 at a time, but it worked.
Ray Castro: So how is he now?
Montel Gordon: Oh he's dead.
Ray Castro: He's dead?
Montel Gordon: It wasn't because of the patch, man.
Ray Castro: So how did he die?
Montel Gordon: His wife shot him.

Montel Gordon: I don't think she's in on it, man.
Ray Castro: I have actually dreamed about this, about busting the top people, the rich people, WHITE people!
Montel Gordon: I know, I know, but I don't think she's in on it, man.

Eduardo Ruiz: You guys remind me of Japanese soldiers on deserted islands who still think world war two is still going on. The fact is that your government surrendered this war a long fucking time ago.
Montel Gordon: You know, I don't think this attitude is gonna help him in front of the judge. Eduardo, there is just one thing wrong with this math. You're in here.

Ray Castro: Why are hurricanes named after women?
Montel Gordon: I don't know.
Ray Castro: Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and your car.

Montel Gordon: I lost my virginity with a sophomore in high school.
Ray Castro: That's cool?
Montel Gordon: Yeah, sweet.
Ray Castro: Did he treat you good?

Montel Gordon: We got him making the deal on tape, we got him bragging about the quality and his business. We got this motherfucker.
Ray Castro: [to Eduardo] You're fucked.

Montel Gordon: You make us believe you got a boss, Eddie. Look, no boss - it's all on you.
Eduardo Ruiz: No. No, it's a death sentence. I'd never make it to the death sentence.