Mayor Richard Wilkins
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Quotes for
Mayor Richard Wilkins (Character)
from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997)

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"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Choices (#3.19)" (1999)
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: Raise your hand if you're invulnerable.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [referring to the Box of Gavrok, containing the Gavrok Spiders] I wouldn't leave that open...

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [to Angel] You're immortal. She's not. It's not easy. I married my Edna Mae in aught three, and I was with her right until the end. Not a pretty picture. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth, it wasn't our happiest time. And let's forget the fact that any moment of true happiness will turn you evil.
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: I mean, come-come on. What kind of a life can you offer her? I don't see a lot of Sunday picnics in the offing. I see skulking in the shadows, hiding from the sun. She's a blossoming young girl and you want to keep her from the life she should have till it's passed her by. And, by God, I think that's a little selfish. Is that what you came back from Hell for? Is that your greater purpose?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Enemies (#3.17)" (1999)
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: I've got two words that are gonna make all the pain go away. Miniature... golf.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [to the Shrouded Man, who we can't see at this point] Mint? Didn't think so. Well, scheduling a man of your talents is quite the chore, let me tell you. Inbetween the bloodletting and the chanting my golf game is shot. But... here you are.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Graduation Day: Part 2 (#3.22)" (1999)
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: It's been a long road getting here, for you, for Sunnydale. There has been achievement, joy, good times... and there has been grief. There's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are. Journeys end. And what is a journey? Is it just distance traveled? Time spent? No, it's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey, you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean your circumstances change; it means you do. You ascend... to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing. And so, as we look back on, on the events that have brought us to this day, we, we must all - ah! It has begun, my destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride, but, I guess we'll just skip to the big finish.

Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [his last words] Well, gosh.

Angel: [stops the Mayor from smothering Buffy] Don't do that!
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [enraged tone] Oh, I will. I'll do worse! Murderous little fiend! Did you see what she did to my Faith?
Angel: I got no plans to weep over that.
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: Yeah, well, I'd get set for a world of weeping! I'd get set for a world of pain! Misery loves company, young man, and I'm more than willing to share that with you and your whore!
[Angel puches the Mayor, who flies back against a window, who gets back up and regains his composure]
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [resumes talking in his cheerful tone] Well... looks like someone has been eating his spinach. No need to worry, everyone. There will be a little intermission here. Wouldn't want to miss the second act, do we?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Graduation Day: Part 1 (#3.21)" (1999)
Mayor Richard Wilkins: Just go home, take it easy! It's a big day tomorrow.
Faith: You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping! Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.
Mayor Richard Wilkins: [laughs] You little firecracker!

[after the Mayor eats the Gavrok spiders]
Mayor Richard Wilkins: My god, what a feeling. The power of these creatures... It suffuses my being. I can feel the changes begin. My organs shifting, merging, making ready for the Ascension. Plus, these babies are high in fiber and what's the fun of becoming an immortal demon if you're not regular, am I right?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Bad Girls (#3.14)" (1999)
Mayor Richard Wilkins: I just love 'The Family Circus'. That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.

Mayor Richard Wilkins: You like 'Family Circus'?
Mr. Trick: I like 'Marmaduke'.
Mayor Richard Wilkins: Oh! Eww. He's always on the furniture. Unsanitary.
Mr. Trick: Nobody tells Marmaduke what to do. That's my kinda dog.
Deputy Mayor Allan Finch: I like to read 'Kathy'.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Doppelgangland (#3.16)" (1999)
Faith: Thanks, Sugar Daddy.
Mayor Richard Wilkins: Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend.

Faith: Are you serious about this place?
Mayor Richard Wilkins: Of course I am. No slayer of mine's gonna live in a flea-bag hotel; that place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.
Faith: Yeah, plus all the screwing.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Touched (#7.20)" (2003)
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [as The First] No matter what you do, Buffy will always see you as a killer, not as a person. And now you have what she so desperately wants: the respect of these girls. All she needs is an excuse, and she'll finish what she started when she stuck that knife in your belly. You stay on guard, Faith. Buffy's dangerous. If you're not careful, she'll destroy you. I'm just saying.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Lessons (#7.1)" (2002)
[last lines]
Warren Meers: [as The First] Of course she won't understand, Sparky. I'm beyond her understanding. She's a girl with sugar and spice and everything useless, unless you're baking. I'm more than that, more than flesh...
Glory: [as The First] More than blood. I'm, you know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me. Oh, my name will be on everyone's lips, assuming their lips haven't been torn off. But not just yet. That's alright, though.
Adam: [as The First] I can be patient. Everything is well within parameters. She's exactly where I want her to be. And so are you, Number 17. You're right where you belong.
Mayor Richard Wilkins: [as The First] So what'd ya think? You'd get your soul back and everything'd be Jim-Dandy? Soul's slippery than a greased weasel. Why do you think I sold mine? Well, you probably thought that you'd be your own man, and I respect that.
Drusilla: [as The First] But you never will. You'll always be mine. You'll always be in the dark with me, singing our little songs. You like our little songs, don't you? You've always liked them, right from the beginning. And that's where we're going.
The Master: [as The First] Right back to the beginning. Not the Bang, not the Word, the true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride, and I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you, trying to do what's right, just like her. You still don't get it. It's not about right, not about wrong.
Buffy Summers: [as The First] It's about power.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Consequences (#3.15)" (1999)
[the Mayor is shredding papers in a shredder]
Mayor Richard Wilkins: This isn't working.
Mr. Trick: It's supposed to do something besides shred paper?
Mayor Richard Wilkins: It's supposed to cheer me up it what it's supposed to do. Why in the world would Allan leave a paper trail a mile long about our dealings? You think he was going to betray me? Oh no, that's a horrible thought! Now he's dead and I'll never have the chance to, well... scold him and find out.