Lilah Morgan
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Quotes for
Lilah Morgan (Character)
from "Angel" (1999)

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"Angel: Lullaby (#3.9)" (2001)
Gavin Park: [about Linwood] He's gonna crucify us.
Lilah Morgan: They don't crucify here. It's too Christian.

Lilah Morgan: [to Daniel Holtz] Look, if I'd have known you were torturing him, I wouldn't have interrupted. Please, continue. I'll wait until you're finished.

Daniel Holtz: You said you worked for the law.
Lilah Morgan: No I didn't. I said I'm a lawyer. I don't care about the law.

Lilah Morgan: The birth. What does it say about the birth?
Wolfram & Hart Translator: Well, actually, it's funny. It doesn't.
Lilah Morgan: What do you mean it doesn't? You said it did.
Wolfram & Hart Translator: Yes, I did say it did.
Lilah Morgan: But it doesn't?
Wolfram & Hart Translator: In a way.
Lilah Morgan: I have a gun.

Lilah Morgan: [to Linwood and Gavin] We have no idea who he is. We ran everything we pulled from the surveillance tapes, through face and voice recognition, and came up with nada. Whoever he is, he's not in the system.

Lilah Morgan: [on the phone] Harvey? It's Lilah. I got a job for you... Angel Investigations. Yeah. Full cleaner service. Thanks.

Lilah Morgan: So can you translate it?
Wolfram & Hart Translator: Well, when it comes to Sacred prophecies, it's going to be more of an interpretation than a strict translation.
Lilah Morgan: I'm just looking for the gist, here. What does it say?

Lilah Morgan: [to Lilah] The Prophet is telling us there will no birth.

Lilah Morgan: Now, I've highlighted the sections they seemed to be concentrating on.
Wolfram & Hart Translator: [horrified] You highlighted an ancient Nyazian Scroll?
Lilah Morgan: [helpfully] In yellow.

"Angel: Untouched (#2.4)" (2000)
Lilah Morgan: So, how was the club? You have any fun?
Bethany Chaulk: It was okay.
Lilah Morgan: Any cute boys?
[Bethany shakes her head]
Lilah Morgan: I'm sorry I couldn't make it. Work just got insane, and our new clients are monsters.

Lilah Morgan: Shut up. Just shut up! One more excuse from you and I am going to bury you alive, next to my house so I can hear you screaming.

[first lines]
Darla: Exciting, isn't it?
Lilah Morgan: Darla. I didn't see you.
Darla: Going through their things, all the hidden pieces of themselves locked away, giving you a naughty little thrill of control.
Lilah Morgan: I just like to keep abreast of his latest project. He's probably in my office right now trying to find out about mine. It's just how it works at our firm.
Darla: All you busy little worker bees, plotting your little schemes.
Lilah Morgan: Corinthian powder? Is that how you keep Angel sleeping when he's with you?
Darla: There's nothing so lovely as dreams. Everything's in them, everything hidden. Open those chambers and you can truly understand someone and control them.
Lilah Morgan: And what's hidden in Angel's secret chambers?
Darla: Horrors.

Lilah Morgan: You think that's it? Poof, you're cured and all you're nightmares are gone?
Bethany Chaulk: I'm not an idiot, Lilah, and I'm not a child.
Lilah Morgan: Yes, you are, and you need us. Sooner or later your powers are gonna get out of control, and you're gonna need a friend.
Bethany Chaulk: My friends don't hire men to rape or kidnap me, at least not my close ones, anyway.

[last lines]
Lilah Morgan: Look, Bethany. Bethany, wait! You could have been someone important!
Angel: You gotta learn to lose, sweetie.
Lilah Morgan: Did I mention you're not invited in?
Bethany Chaulk: Don't try to find me, Lilah. I mean it.
Lilah Morgan: Our-our firm doesn't want to lose a... you're not...
[points at Angel]
Lilah Morgan: He is a vampire, you know.
Bethany Chaulk: [looks like Angel] Weird.
Angel: Looks like you're gonna have to find someone else's brain to play with.
Lilah Morgan: Yeah, we have someone in mind.
Angel: Good night, Lilah.
Lilah Morgan: Sweet dreams.

"Angel: Blood Money (#2.12)" (2001)
Lindsey McDonald: I'm using my discretionary fund. Bring him on board.
Lilah Morgan: Aren't you forgetting something? The Senior Partners want Angel alive.
Lindsey McDonald: So?
Lilah Morgan: So, what if this guy's actually as good as he says and actually kills Angel?
Lindsey McDonald: Boo-hoo. Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand!

Lilah Morgan: We've heard you do favors for Angel. We'd like to know what those favors are.
Merl: Hey, I don't go sellin' out my pals. How much you gonna pay?

Angel: You screw with me, and you screw with me... and you screw with me. And now, I get to screw with you.
Angel: That's gonna be great!
Lilah Morgan: Angel, please...
Angel: No, no. The begging, - that comes later.

Lindsey McDonald: Angel is an obstacle in everything that we do. Give me one good reason why we can't just kill him!
Nathan Reed: Because Angel - is a major player.
Lilah Morgan: In business?
Nathan Reed: In the Apocalypse.
Lilah Morgan: Oh. That.

"Angel: Calvary (#4.12)" (2003)
Angelus: Try playing up the awe and the reverence a bit. The *great* Angelus.
Lilah Morgan: Great, being locked in a cage.
Angelus: Yet managing to display better grooming habits than you. Look at yourself, Lilah. Hmm? All these years wanting to meet me. Couldn't run a comb through your hair? Maybe slap on a little lipstick? Evil doesn't have to mean sloppy.

Cordelia Chase: Do you know what Angelus would do if we let him out?
Lilah Morgan: Kill you all in a bloody shower of violence. But, hey, greater good.

Lilah Morgan: It's Thursday, which means everyone who should be in the weekly briefing is, um, dead.

Lilah Morgan: [while running away from Angelus, Cordelia grabs her from behind] He's gonna kill us!
Cordelia Chase: I know.
[pulls out the dagger made from The Beast's skin and plunges it into Lilah's throat]
Cordelia Chase: Why do you think I let him out, you stupid bitch?

"Angel: Billy (#3.6)" (2001)
Lilah Morgan: And I'm gonna help you, why?
Cordelia: You know that guy that you hired to hack into my visions? What he did to me? You know what it felt like? I was cut, torn up, my face disfigured, and burning with pain every second not knowing if it was going to end or just get worse till I died.
Lilah Morgan: So you think I owe you...
Cordelia: [to Lilah, about misogynist Billy] It's not the pain. It's the helplessness, the certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it, that your life can be thrown away in an instant by someone else. He doesn't care. He'll beat you down till you stay down 'cause he doesn't even think of you as alive. No woman should ever have to go through that. And no woman strong enough to wear the mantle of "vicious bitch" would *ever* put up with it. Where is Billy going?

Cordelia: [to Lilah] Angel feels responsible for this guy because he brought him back from hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.
Lilah Morgan: So, you know me.
Cordelia: Please. I was you... with better shoes.
Lilah Morgan: These are Boracci.
Cordelia: Fall collection?
Lilah Morgan: Next spring.
Cordelia: He's widened the heel.
Lilah Morgan: And rounded the toe.
Cordelia: That won't work with the pink.
Lilah Morgan: The pink is out this spring.

Lilah Morgan: Cordelia Chase, right? Come to gloat?
Cordelia: I can do that anywhere. Are you gonna invite me in? Oh, wait. I'm not a vampire.
Lilah Morgan: Please, come on in.

Cordelia: I want you to tell me about Billy. Everything you didn't tell Angel. I want you to help me stop him.
Lilah Morgan: And what makes you think I'm gonna do that?
Cordelia: Well, there's your face, for starters.
Lilah Morgan: I know the risks of my job and I accept them
Cordelia: Then why where you crying five minutes ago? There's not a thing about badly re-applied mascara that I don't know.
Lilah Morgan: I'm not Lindsey McDonald. I don't switch sides whenever it gets tough. And since when is this your job? I thought Angel was the dark avenger.
Cordelia: Angel feels responsible for this guy because he brought him back from Hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.
Lilah Morgan: [shrugs] So? You know me.
Cordelia: Please. I *was* you - with better shoes.

"Angel: Judgment (#2.1)" (2000)
Lilah Morgan: [to Lindsey] You're not handicapped, you're handi-capable.

Darla: [hums with the music] Hmm, the prelude.
Lindsey McDonald: In C-minor. The preludes and the nocturnes.
Darla: So much better than the waltzes.
[about Chopin]
Darla: He had consumption.
Lindsey McDonald: And died way too soon. A lot of that goin' around.
Darla: Hm. He's here.
Lilah Morgan: Chopin?
Lindsey McDonald: Angel. He's here in town. You can feel him.
Darla: Always could.
Lindsey McDonald: He hasn't been much of a help to us.
Darla: He killed me!
Darla: I remember now. With a soul in his heart.
Lindsey McDonald: He's taken from both of us, so when you feel ready, we'll start thinking about giving a little back.

Lilah Morgan: [on the phone] You have every right to review the contract. I encourage it. We'll talk on Monday. Of course, if you don't sign, we'll sue your ass off and kill your children. Just kidding, Donald. Nobody wants a lawsuit.

"Angel: Redefinition (#2.11)" (2001)
Lindsey McDonald: What do you expect, Lilah? We're the only survivors of a massacre. It's natural that we're under suspicion.
Lilah Morgan: Yeah, well, you know what I don't like about suspicion? The part where they find us two weeks from now dead in some freak accident.

Lilah Morgan: We're no good to you dead, Darla. The Senior Partners are looking for someone to blame for your massacre.
Darla: But, surely they wouldn't kill the both of you. Seems like such a waste.

Lilah Morgan: Oh, what's wrong, Lindsey? You bitter cause your girlfriend didn't slit my throat?
Lindsey McDonald: I think you might be overstating it. I'd say more like "bummed."
Lilah Morgan: Sorry to disappoint.

"Angel: Reunion (#2.10)" (2000)
Drusilla: You have beautiful skin.
Lilah Morgan: I moisturize.
Drusilla: That was very thoughtful of you.

Lilah Morgan: For God's sake, help us.
Holland Manners: Angel, please. People are going to die.
Angel: And yet, somehow, I just can't seem to care.

Drusilla: I hear the sirens. They don't know if the world will be in the morning.
Lilah Morgan: [to Lindsey] Are the police coming?
Lindsey McDonald: No. She senses what this place was built for.

"Angel: That Vision Thing (#3.2)" (2001)
Lilah Morgan: You're a remarkable man, Angel.
Angel: Yeah. And you're an evil bitch.

Gavin Park: I'm working on a little something aimed at Angel Investigations. If you're interested, I'd love to have you on my team.
Lilah Morgan: Your team?
[to her associate]
Lilah Morgan: I'll be right in.
[to Gavin]
Lilah Morgan: Let me tell you a little something about your team. You don't have one.
Gavin Park: Look, just because they gave your Lindsey's old office, it doesn't...
Lilah Morgan: I have this office because I earned it. As did Lindsey. He sacrificed his flesh and blood for this company. He literally had his hand cut off fighting against Angel. What are you doing? Building code violations.
Gavin Park: I'm fighting Angel in my own way.
Lilah Morgan: Yeah, I bet he's really terrified.

Lilah Morgan: It's just business.
Angel: Right, just business.

"Angel: Reprise (#2.15)" (2001)
Lindsey McDonald: Either we pass the review or we won't. You really think a few last-minute dark rites and rituals are going to make a difference now?
Lilah Morgan: Everybody else seems to think so. I heard Henderson actually pulled her firstborn out of company day care to offer it up to... Brownnoser. My mother was right. I should have had children.

Lilah Morgan: [to Lindsey] I dug up everything I could find on the last seventy-five year review. It's all in there. It makes the Christmas purge of sixty eight look like fun old times. Nearly half of mid-management was sacked. And Lindsey, they used actual sacks.

Lilah Morgan: [about Darla] Stake the bitch!

"Angel: The Ring (#1.16)" (2000)
Lilah Morgan: I prefer to think of it as picking the battles you can win. There's not one reason why we can't work together.
Angel: You're right... there are about a thousand.

Lilah Morgan: How do you feel?
Angel: Like I was hit by lightning after the truck ran me over.

"Angel: Habeas Corpses (#4.8)" (2003)
Wes: There is a line, Lilah, black and white, good and evil.
Lilah: Funny thing about black and white. You mix it together and you get grey. And it doesn't matter how much white you try and put back in, you're never gonna get anything but grey.

Wes: I can't do this anymore.
Lilah: Yeah, yeah, I heard that a million times, cowboy. We both know how this song ends. You, me, broken furniture.

"Angel: Deep Down (#4.1)" (2002)
[Lilah has told Linwood that she spoke with the Senior Partners]
Linwood Murrow: [incredulous] Are you actually telling me that you went over my head?
[Lilah taps her PDA. A blade snaps out of Linwood's chair, decapitating him]
Lilah Morgan: Just under it, actually.

Lilah Morgan: Maybe you can lead them in a rousing chant and get them to muster up a little more vague.

"Angel: Apocalypse, Nowish (#4.7)" (2002)
Lilah: [Finding Angel in her own office, reading her files] How did you get in here? Vampire detectors my ass!

Lilah: [about Gavin] Couldn't you have at least tortured him a little bit more?
Angel: Really wanted to, but he wouldn't stop talkin' long enough for me to get into it.

"Angel: Five by Five (#1.18)" (2000)
Faith: Who is 'we', and why do they know about me when I don't know jack about you?
Lilah Morgan: Green is my favorite color. I look good in diamonds. And I love riding in limousines.

Lilah Morgan: I'll make the contact.
Lee Mercer: I don't think so. It's my deal; I'll make the contact.
Lilah Morgan: Let me think about it... No.
Lee Mercer: Why not?
Lilah Morgan: It's your people skills. You don't have any.
Lee Mercer: You bitch.
Lilah Morgan: See.

"Angel: Carpe Noctem (#3.4)" (2001)
Angel: [as Marcus] Now, what can I do for you?
Lilah Morgan: Don't go all night stalker on me. I'm here to do you a favor.

Lilah Morgan: [to Angel as Marcus after he bites her] I don't know what sort of sick game this is, Angel. But I hope you enjoyed it, because you're never getting this close to me again.

"Angel: Tomorrow (#3.22)" (2002)
Lilah: Don't go making more of this than it is. I'm not one of the doey-eyed girls of Angel Investigations. Don't be thinking about me when I'm gone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I wasn't thinking about you when you were here.

Lilah: Mind if I join you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: On many levels and with great intensity.

"Angel: Quickening (#3.8)" (2001)
Lilah Morgan: [to Cyril] If you don't tell me right now, I am gonna have your skin peeled off and stapled back on inside out.

Lilah Morgan: Intelligence is just coming in. No one seems to know how Darla could be pregnant. There is a rumor about a prophecy involving a vampire birth, but the scroll it's recorded on seems to be missing.
Linwood Murrow: Do you have any idea how many groups and cults and organisations would kill to get their hands on this baby? We gotta get it before anybody finds out.
Lilah Morgan: Yes, Sir. And we will.
Linwood Murrow: We need to get it, disect it, and find out what it means.

"Angel: Benediction (#3.21)" (2002)
Lilah Morgan: Don't tell me you wouldn't like to see the bitch that slit your throat and left you to die get a little of her own back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What's going on here, Lilah?
Lilah Morgan: Some source - can't imagine who - tipped her off that tonight this place would be filthy with vampires. Which, as it turns out, is true.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right. Because that same source tipped off the vampires that *she* would be here
Lilah Morgan: Seems she has been pissing off a lot of undead Americans lately.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you thought I'd enjoy a box seat for her slaughter.
Lilah Morgan: Well, yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You really don't know the first thing about me do you?
[Wesley starts to leave]
Lilah Morgan: Probably not. Like will he go straight to his car or will he warn her first?
[Wesley stops]
Lilah Morgan: He has to think about it. That's all I really needed to know.

"Angel: Sleep Tight (#3.16)" (2002)
Lilah Morgan: How'd you find me?
Angel: Your assistant.
Lilah Morgan: I'll have his arms broken.

"Angel: Home (#4.22)" (2003)
Lilah Morgan: What's the matter, Ace? Didn't think you're the only one that ever got to come back from Hell around here, did ya?
[clears throat]
Lilah Morgan: Speaking of which, could I possibly get some ice water?

"Angel: Dad (#3.10)" (2001)
Lilah Morgan: [to Linwood about Darla] Dusted during childbirth is more like it. According to our sources she staked herself, leaving the baby alive and kicking but never actually born.

"Angel: A New World (#3.20)" (2002)
Lilah Morgan: I guess when she slit your throat, she nicked your sense of humor.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Not at all. I find you being here extremely funny.

"Angel: Supersymmetry (#4.5)" (2002)
Lilah Morgan: You know Angel, coming from you, idle threats are so, well, idle.
Angel: You remember when I ripped your car in half?
Lilah Morgan: Yeah, yeah. Hulk smash.