Charles Gunn
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Quotes for
Charles Gunn (Character)
from "Angel" (1999)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Angel: First Impressions (#2.3)" (2000)
[Gunn is looking for Angel and he's told Angel's sleeping]
Cordelia Chase: Maybe *we* can help.
Charles Gunn: You two? I find Deevak, I'm gonna need more than C-3PO and Stick-Figure Barbie backing me up, no offense.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Very little taken.

Wesley: Well, we're hardly prepared to face a demon of Deevak's caliber in our current condition.
Charles Gunn: You ready to pack it in? Only reason I called you was 'cause y'all supposed to be the demon experts.
Angel: Wesley's right. Three vamps, we should have been able to take them all a lot easier and faster than we did. We need to regroup.
Charles Gunn: Maybe the rest of you need a little down time, but I'm gonna track down Jameel and make him talk.
Cordelia Chase: When you do find him, you may wanna be a little more Guy Pearce in "L.A Confidential" and a little less Michael Madsen in "Reservoir Dogs."
Charles Gunn: I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed at the Oscars for "Malcolm X." Later.

Charles Gunn: Where's Angel?
Cordelia Chase: I believe the word is 'hello'?
Charles Gunn: Yeah? 'Cause I thought 'Where's Angel' summed it up. We got work to do.
Cordelia Chase: He's still sleeping.
Charles Gunn: Sleeping? It's 3:30 in the afternoon. I've been up since dawn!
Cordelia Chase: Sort of missing the whole 'creature of the night' angle, isn't he?

Charles Gunn: So, could one of you go in there and knock on his coffin?
Cordelia Chase: He doesn't use a coffin. And maybe you've never heard the expression "Let sleeping vampires lie"? He'll rise on his own. Always does.

Charles Gunn: Deevak is a bad-ass. I'm gonna need the serious muscle.

Cordelia Chase: You need protection.
Charles Gunn: And how exactly do you plan on protecting me? With some weak ass ladysmith battle-axe?
Cordelia Chase: Ask Joey, and his cracked skull just how 'weak ass' it is.

Cordelia Chase: Geez, short enough leash, or do you just go all warm and tingly on the whole power-trip thing?
Charles Gunn: Some people need dicipline to survive. Now, when we get inside, just shut up and stick close to me.
Cordelia Chase: Hold on there, General Lee Simo, I'm not one of your toy soldiers you can just boss around.
Charles Gunn: I don't even want you here.
Cordelia Chase: Too bad. I am here, and I don't take orders. Well, except from Angel. And, at least he usually asks nicely. And besides, I don't need you to tell me how to behave at a party. Trust me, I know how to blend.
[they enter]
Cordelia Chase: Okay, not exactly blending. Maybe, I'll just shut up and stick close to you.

Charles Gunn: You don't have the keys?
Cordelia Chase: Well, I-I kinda left them in the car when I went in to save you. I thought you were in danger. Every second counted.
Charles Gunn: You know, I gotta tell you, you are one high-maintenance chick.
Cordelia Chase: The keys are here... somewhere.
Charles Gunn: You are killin' me!
Cordelia Chase: Can't you, you know, hot-wire it?
Charles Gunn: Just cause I know some car theives, don't mean I am one.

Cordelia Chase: Angel is not gonna be happy. Do you know what he's gonna do to me when he finds out I let his car get stolen? I mean, what are the chances that a vampire has full insurance with a low deductible?
Charles Gunn: I'll find the car.
Cordelia Chase: And how exactly are you gonna do that?
Charles Gunn: I know a couple of guys in this part of town that jack vintage cars. We'll run down the list until we find Angel's ride.
Cordelia Chase: And then what? You're just gonna ask them to give it back?
Charles Gunn: I'll say please
Cordelia Chase: Ooh! I forgot. You'll use your famous charm. Like you did this afternoon with that pigeon stool.
Charles Gunn: It's stool pigeon. - And you don't have clue why I do the things I do!
Cordelia Chase: Paging Mr. Rationalization!
Charles Gunn: Paging Ms. About-to-be-thrown-out-of-a-moving-vehicle.

Deevak: How touching. A woman willing to die with her man.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, no. He's not my man. He-he's just a friend. And, about the willing to die part...
Charles Gunn: You must be Deevak. They told me you were ugly, but damn.
Deevak: And you're the big bad Gunn.

Cordelia Chase: I've also got this.
[Gunn looks unimpressed]
Cordelia Chase: Mace.
Charles Gunn: Mace?
Cordelia Chase: Squirt, squirt, right in the eyes?
Charles Gunn: You expectin' me to be jumped by a couple of purse-snatchin' demons?


"Angel: Spin the Bottle (#4.6)" (2002)
Gunn: What the hell are you talkin' about?
Cordelia: It's called kidnapping a minor, Hair Club for Men.

Gunn: What happened to you, man?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I had my throat cut and all my friends abandoned me.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So who are you?
Gunn: I'm the guy that's gonna be kickin' a whole mess of ass somebody don't tell me what's goin' on.
Cordelia: What do they call you for short?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The cross obviously doesn't affect me, or our friend the pugilist.
Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up.

Angel: Mad. You're all mad. These clothes. Your speech. This place. What land is this?
Gunn: What land is it supposed to be?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Angel] Yes, where do you hail from, friend?
Angel: [Angerly] I'm not your friend, you English pig! We never wanted you in Ireland. We don't want you now.
Gunn: You Irish?
Cordelia: You don't sound Irish?
Angel: For most certain, I sound exactly-
[releasing he doesn't have an Irish accent, puts his hand to his throat in panic]
Angel: Something is wrong with my voice!

Gunn: Don't be giving me orders. I run my own crew.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm sure your seafaring adventures are very interesting, but I have experience of things you couldn't imagine.
[Proudly]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not head boy for nothing.
Gunn: You 'bout to be headless boy, you don't get out my face!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Overly dramatic] All right. I'm going to let you all in on something you may have trouble comprehending. I assure you that however...
Gunn: [interrupting] Vampires are real.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Whining] I was telling!

Angel: [Walking toward the door] There's nothing here. This place is evil, and I think that I should leave now 'cause of evil.
Angel: [Runs after Angel] Don't be a fool!
Angel: Good luck, all.
[leaves through front door]
Gunn: [Sarcastically, to Wesley; who previously stated that all the hotel doors must be bolted shut] So, we're all locked in, huh?

Fred: [after Angel leaves the hotel] Do you think Liam's okay out there?
Gunn: If something's eating him, at least he ain't as bored as me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Joke all you like. Liam, right now, may be facing horrors he's never even imagined
[Angel runs out to the street through the garden. When he reaches the street, he stares in horror at cars zooming by on the road. Terrified by the alien sight, he runs back to the hotel]
Angel: [Running in the hotel and slamming the doors shut] Demons!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Really?
[to Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Told you.
[to Angel]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How many?
Angel: [Still terrified by the sight of cars] Hundreds. Screaming.
Fred: [Concerned] Will they try to get in?
Angel: Don't think they saw me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What type of demons, would you say?
Angel: Shiny.

Cordelia: I suggest we gather some cops.
Gunn: Yo... I don't want no heat near me.
Fred: I don't think we should call the police anyhow. I mean, they're probably involved.
Gunn: In what?
Fred: Don't y'all think this is some kind of government conspiracy? 'Cause my friend, Levon, says the government's always taking kids and experimentin' on 'em. Did anybody else have to take a personality disorder test recently? They ask you about politics and your bowel movements and if you want to be a florist...


"Angel: Fredless (#3.5)" (2001)
Fred: [talking obliquely about Buffy] So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, *Fred*, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say... , no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also... nuh-uh.
Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sorta thing, why wouldn't it work?
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred.
[imitating Buffy]
Cordelia: Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but...
Wesley: [imitating Angel] But... my gypsy curse, sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley: Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: [entering, surprising everyone] How about you both bite me?
Fred: You're back!
Charles Gunn: How'd it go?
Angel: I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest I really don't want to talk about it.

Cordelia: Guys, when was the last time Fred ever left the hotel by herself?
Charles Gunn: A couple weeks after never.

Cordelia: [on Fred's invention] God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.
Charles Gunn: Ooh, pretty wicked-lookin' toy.
Wesley: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her, you never know.

Angel: So, where do we start? Where would Fred go?
Charles Gunn: We could hit all the local taco stands.
[everyone looks at him]
Charles Gunn: Joke. Kinda.

Charles Gunn: [about Trish] Lady makes bug soup with a ten-ton bus, but show her a papier mâché head and she gets the willies. Huh, women.
Angel: Uh, Gunn, you do know it's not papier mâché?
Charles Gunn: [Gunn quickly drops head] We still got that bleach in the bathroom?

Lorne: Well, isn't this a lovely surprise.
Cordelia: He's surprised. I didn't think he owned terry cloth.
Lorne: Hmm. Such a small entourage tonight. Hey, Gunn, why didn't you bring your other friends? 'Cause they make a party.
Charles Gunn: Maybe I should wait outside.
Lorne: You know, I'm not entirely uncomfortable with that suggestion.
Trish Burkle: What kind of a place is this?
Lorne: I was kind of going for a Dresden-after-the-bombing sorta feel.

Trish Burkle: [about Angel saving Fred] He seems to do that a lot, doesn't he?
Fred: It's what he does. Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, and Gunn's the muscle and Cordy's the heart, and I'm...
Roger Burkle: And to think, we were wondering when to call the cops on a bunch of superheroes!
Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
Charles Gunn: More like a bloodsucking fiend.
Roger Burkle: Well, frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.

Cordelia: In a really weird way, you know who I miss?
Wesley: Fred.
Cordelia: Actually, I was gonna say her parents. Is that wrong?
Angel: I don't think so. They were very - nice.
Cordelia: Nice? They weren't just nice, Angel. They were...
Charles Gunn: Parents.
Wesley: They loved her, supported her, didn't grind her down into a - tiny self-conscious nub with their constant berating, their never ending tirade of debasement, and scorn and...
Cordelia: At least now, Fred's got a shot at a normal life. Not that I don't love you guys, and L.A., and my work... but, things are just never normal around here, you know?


"Angel: Reunion (#2.10)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: Okay, I'm still tryin' to get this family tree straight. Darla sired Angel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Correct.
Charles Gunn: And Angel sired this Drusilla.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Back when he and Darla were together, yes.
Charles Gunn: But, before Angel got his soul back, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Certainly.
Charles Gunn: Now these lawyers, they brought Darla back as human. Now this Drusilla vamp goes and bites Darla?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So it would seem.
Charles Gunn: Making her a vampire again.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's the cosmological upshot, yes. Darla's human self has died, and some time before dawn, unless Angel can stop it, she will rise again, a soulless demon.
Charles Gunn: So that means...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Clock is ticking.
Charles Gunn: No, no, what I'm sayin' is, that means the granddaughter remade the grandmother.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh. Yes.
Charles Gunn: Man, somehow that weirds me out more than the whole blood-suckin' thing.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right now, the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Charles Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: I do.
[long pause]
Angel: You're all fired.

[first lines]
Charles Gunn: Were almost there. Yo! Anybody home?
Cordelia Chase: Oh my God! Angel!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What happened?
Charles Gunn: I don't know. He's kinda been in and out. I only got half the story. Half of it didn't make sense.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel. There's no time, no time. Okay, okay. Let's sit him down here.
Cordelia Chase: Where was he?
Charles Gunn: Coming from the motel.
Cordelia Chase: Darla's motel?
Angel: I should've heard them.
Charles Gunn: I managed to get him to the truck without him bursting into flames or anything.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's hurt.
Charles Gunn: This was a wreck. Something went down. Something not good.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel?
Angel: I was just so... so tired.
Cordelia Chase: Where is Darla?
Charles Gunn: I don't know. She weren't there.
Cordelia Chase: I knew it. She did this to him. I knew she couldn't be trusted.
Angel: She's dead.
Cordelia Chase: What?

Angel: I should've stopped them. They made her drink.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel?
Angel: She didn't want to. You think that you can resist... but then it's... it's too late.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Someone made Darla drink?
Angel: It was "her".
Cordelia Chase: Okay, way too many pronouns here. Who's "her"?
Angel: Drusilla.
Cordelia Chase: Drusilla's here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good lord.
Charles Gunn: Who's Drusilla?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel? Angel?
Charles Gunn: Am I right in guessing this Drusilla's got a set of teeth?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, she's a vampire.
Charles Gunn: I think I'm stating to get the picture now.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps you should sit down.
Angel: I have to find her.
Cordelia Chase: Drusilla?
Charles Gunn: [Angel looks in cabinet] She probably ain't in there.
Cordelia Chase: He's delirious.
Angel: I can save her.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Save whom?
Angel: Darla.

Cordelia Chase: Okay, here's the list of local cemeteries, funeral homes and mausoleums.
Charles Gunn: You're telling me we have to go to each one of these places and start digging up fresh graves?
Angel: Drucilla will want to put the body in the ground.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, are you certain about this? A burial isn't necessary for a newly made vampire.
Angel: It would be for Drusilla. She's a classicist.
Cordelia Chase: She's a loony.
Angel: Forget mausoleums. Stick with cemeteries, something with a view of the night sky.
Cordelia Chase: So, just outside cemeteries, then?
Charles Gunn: It doesn't narrow it down much.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If it's just a burial she's after, one doesn't need a cemetery. Just dirt, really.
Cordelia Chase: Still not narrowing. Whole planet, pretty much made up of dirt.

Charles Gunn: You had me at "Everyone Gear Up".

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you just walked away?
Angel: No, I walked to my car and then I drove away.
Charles Gunn: You didn't do anything?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You allowed Darla and Drusilla to have free reign?
Angel: I didn't bring either one of them into this. They did.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You could've stopped them.
Angel: And I will.
Cordelia Chase: When? After they've finished off all the people you don't like?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, well it's certainly true these lawyers brought this on themselves. But what you did...
Cordelia Chase: Is wrong.
Charles Gunn: You went too far.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We've all been worried about you. And I guess it's fair to say we all share some of the blame. We should've spoken up sooner.
Charles Gunn: And louder.
Cordelia Chase: You have to change the way you've been doing things. Don't you see where this is taking you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen to her.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen to her! Right now the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Charles Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: I do. - You're all fired.


"Angel: Soul Purpose (#5.10)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I say we make a pre-emptive strike. Remove him before he and his followers go underground.
Charles Gunn: Assassination?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're talking about an evil warlock here. The longer we wait, the more powerful he becomes.
Charles Gunn: I don't plan on waiting.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Really? What is your plan?
Charles Gunn: We open a can of Machiavelli on his ass.
Harmony Kendall: [condescendingly] It's Matchabelli, Einstein, and it doesn't come in a can.

Charles Gunn: [Gunn enters Wesley's office and greets Wesley and Fred] You guys are gonna want to see this.
[Hands Wesley a report]
Charles Gunn: Been getting reports of a vigilante prowling the streets last night. A vampire, apparently.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel never left his penthouse.
[Reads from the paper]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "Vigilante reportedly killed 2 vampires at a gas station, then asked the women he saved if they'd, quote, like to get a bottle of hootch and listen to some Sex Pistols records with him."
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Are we sure Angel's just tired and not, um... crazy?

Spike: Look... I told Angel, and I'll tell you. A place like that doesn't change... not from the inside. Not from the out. You sign on there, it changes you. Puts things in your head. Spins your compass needle around 'till you can't cross the street without tripping the proverbial old lady and stepping on her glasses. And it's not like I wasn't there, gents. Like I wasn't watching you. Had to haunt the damn place, remember?
Charles Gunn: Things aren't that cut-and-dried, Spike. We're making a difference. We're just... playing by a new set of rules.
Spike: So what? You want me to... put on a suit, come play with you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Something like that.
Spike: I can't believe Angel would sign off on that. Unless... he doesn't know you're here, does he? Hedging our bets, are we, boys?
Charles Gunn: That's not how it is.
Spike: And the compass needle keeps spinning. And the world gets murkier and murkier.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Dream sequence: Angel is sitting in the middle of a peaceful, sunlit meadow. Fred, Wesley, Gunn, and Lorne appear] This is really nice.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can stay as long as you like. Stay forever.
Angel: No... there's so much work to do.
Charles Gunn: It's fine. We got it covered.
Angel: But I'm not supposed to be here.
Lorne: Enough fighting, Angel-heart. Time to let freedom ring. Let yourself go.
Angel: But I'm not finished.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You are if you want to be.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It'll be fine. Great, actually. All you have to do is stop caring.

Spike: I didn't do this for a reward.
Charles Gunn: That's why you're getting one!

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We didn't sell out, we're changing the system from the inside.
Charles Gunn: Y'know, when you say it out loud it sounds really naïve.

Charles Gunn: What I want to know is how that thing even got in here in the first place.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We're checking the firm's storage facilities. It's possible that a specimen escaped or...
Angel: [to Eve] You. You brought it.
Eve: Me?
Angel: You were here.
Eve: I had a cameo in your little dream sequence? That's so sweet.
Angel: You put the big one on me after I killed the other one.
Charles Gunn: The other one?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, there was only one.
Angel: No.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Maybe you were confusing reality with your hallucinations?
Angel: Uh-uh. Changed your clothes.
Eve: Yeah. I do that sometimes, after a long day.
Angel: But you didn't change your earrings. You were wearing those in my hallucination, except I haven't seen you for days.
Eve: I've worn them before. Hey, I can't be held responsible for how you dress me in your fantasies.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: You did change your clothes, Eve, and I've never seen those earrings before today.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Oh! Hey! Did you talk to Spike?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We did.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What'd he say?
Charles Gunn: Oh, you know... stuff.


"Angel: Epiphany (#2.16)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: So what's he doin' here?
Angel: I went and saw the Host at Caritas. - He said my friends were in danger.
Charles Gunn: So what's he doin' here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He had an epiphany.
Charles Gunn: Ahh.

Angel: [about Cordelia] Guys, guys, d-does it make sense that sh-she would go there in the middle of the night, without calling either one of you?
Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: They owe us money.
Angel: Let's go.

Charles Gunn: [to Wesley] Come on, English. You know you're my man.
Angel: So, I see you guys have bonded.
Charles Gunn: It happens when you fight shoulder to shoulder.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Or rather hip to shoulder, these days.
Charles Gunn: This man took a bullet for me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah... It was nothing.

Charles Gunn: Where's Cordy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We don't know. Not here.
Charles Gunn: You checked her pad?
Angel: I stopped by there earlier.
Charles Gunn: You enjoying your visit to nineteen seventy three? I meant her message pad.
Angel: Oh, right, yeah. That's a good idea.

Charles Gunn: So you had an epiphany, did you?
Angel: Yeah.
Charles Gunn: So what? You just wake up and bang?
Angel: It was sort of the other way around.

[last lines]
Angel: I'm sorry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Before you say anymore, I think I should tell you. We've all discussed it, and none of us are ready just yet.
Angel: It's okay, Wesley. I don't want you to come back and work for me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I see.
Angel: I want to work for you.
Charles Gunn: You want to work for us?
Angel: Yeah, I do.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Because I think I can help.
Cordelia Chase: How do we know we can trust you?
Angel: I guess I'll just have to earn that.
Cordelia Chase: No. No. No!
[has a vision]
Cordelia Chase: The usual big scary, rising up in a housing project in Topanga. And why is it I'm not on the floor this time?
Angel: I've got you.
Cordelia Chase: Maybe he should drive.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let's go.

Charles Gunn: You check her pad?
Angel: I stopped there earlier.
Charles Gunn: You enjoying your visit to 1973? I meant her message pad.
Angel: Oh. Right. That's a good idea.


"Angel: There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb (#2.22)" (2001)
[Wesley and Gunn are about to be beheaded]
Charles Gunn: I got a plan.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, thank God! What is it?
Rebel #1: One...
Charles Gunn: We die horribly and painfully, you go to Hell and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [right after being made leader of the rebels] Why do people keep putting me in charge of things?
Charles Gunn: I have no idea.

[being shown Lorne's severed head]
Angel: He was...
Charles Gunn: Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Mmm.
Lorne the Host: That's it?
Angel, Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Aah!
Lorne the Host: Where's the praising and extolling of my virtues? Where's the love?

The Groosalugg: What is this "reconstruction"?
Cordelia Chase: Gunn, you wanna field this?
Charles Gunn: It means, sayin' people are free don't make 'em free. You got races that hate each other. You got some folks gettin' work they don't want, others loosin' the little they had. You're lookin' at social confusion, economic depression, and probably some riots. Good luck.

Charles Gunn: He's Angel. He does that. How's she do that?
Angel: She's Fred. She does that too.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fred? Winifred? The girl from Cordy's vision?

Charles Gunn: [to Wesley and Angel] Y'all that portal jumping is a fun ride. We sell it to a theme park, we could get paid.

Charles Gunn: Those men you sent to create a diversion are going to get killed.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, they are.
[pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You try not to get anybody killed, you wind up getting everybody killed.


"Angel: Over the Rainbow (#2.20)" (2001)
[arrived in another dimension, in daylight]
Charles Gunn: You all see the street do that bendy thing?
Angel: So we made it then, this is your world?
Lorne the Host: Ah, yes. Home sweet hell.
Angel: Ha, I'm not on fire.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And, we're together! And we didn't merge into a freakish four-man Siamese twin.
Charles Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
Angel: [happy] Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?
Lorne the Host: Ah, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, all right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Wesley, Angel, Lorne, and Gunn are surrounded by a mob of Pyleans] We've been through a lot together fellows. Fought a lot of battles. Faced some pretty steep odds...
Gunn: [to Angel] I'll take the twenty on the left, you take the fifty on the right.
Angel: Okay.

Lorne the Host: Just remember, keep your heads down. Xenophobia, kind of a watchword where I'm from.
Charles Gunn: I don't get it. Why they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kinda fly.
Wesley: "Xenophobia". - fear of foreigners.
Charles Gunn: Oh, then can we pretend I didn't just say that?

[Gunn tries to break handcuffs]
Charles Gunn: [trying to get out of manacles] It's no use. Thing's made out of some kind of magical alloy.
Wesley: Really? How can you tell?
Charles Gunn: I can't. I'm just makin' myself feel better.

Angel: [the suns of Pylea is not affecting Angel] Why am I not on fire?
Charles Gunn: Yo, that was phat!
Wesley: Well it is another dimension. Perhaps theres some...
Lorne the Host: Back up, Copernicus. That's suns. Plural.
Wesley: Suns, yes. Well, perhaps they don't have the same effect on vampires.
[pinches Angel's cheek]
Angel: Watch it, alright? Hey!
Wesley: Fascinating!

Charles Gunn: I got a phone message. - It sounded like the captain of the Titanic getting ready to go down with the ship.

Constable Narwek: For the crime of assault against those judged to be your betters, you are to be detained in the dungeon until our Royal Highness passes sentence upon you.
Charles Gunn: I'm guessing community service is out.


"Angel: The Thin Dead Line (#2.14)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: Look, I say if things are quiet, let 'em be quiet.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Quiet may be good for mankind, but bad for business.

Charles Gunn: All right, look, the plan is simple. I want you to roll the camcorder, wait for the cops to hassle us.
Anne Steele: How do you know they will?
Charles Gunn: 'Cause we'll be the ones "walkin' while black". Come on.

Charles Gunn: I never had to look so hard to find trouble before.

Charles Gunn: [to Anne] We were planning on changing it to the "Gunn Agency."
Cordelia Chase, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, we're not!
Charles Gunn: As soon as these two narcissists come to their senses.

Charles Gunn: Help me get Wesley.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Is anyone else cold?
Charles Gunn: It's okay, man. We gonna take you someplace warm. Help me pick him up! Come on! Come on!
Rondell: shot him. I shot a cop.
Charles Gunn: Not a lot of choice.
George: We gotta move!
Rondell: I killed a police officer. Look at him. He dead!
[the Zombie Policeman rises]
Charles Gunn: He don't look that dead.

Rondell: Well, if it isn't Charles Gunn, brother-at-large.
Charles Gunn: Anne, meet Rondell and George.
Anne Steele: Hi.
Rondell: Greetings. I brought the camcorder. What do you need?
Charles Gunn: Alright, I got this little neighborhood problem I promised Anne, we'd look into.
George: This got something to do with the police cracking skulls?
Charles Gunn: Well, you know about that?
Rondell: Who doesn't?
Charles Gunn: I didn't 'till today. Somebody could've filled me in.
George: You ain't been around to tell nothing to.
Rondell: You've been moving on up, dog. Playing demon detective with your new family.

Charles Gunn: Hey.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Hey.
Charles Gunn: How're you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I feel I should be in a great deal of pain.
Charles Gunn: Getting gut-shot will do that to you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And yet...
[looks at his I.V]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Is this morphine?
[Gunn nods]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, it's bloody lovely!
[laughs]


"Angel: Through the Looking Glass (#2.21)" (2001)
[first lines]
Angel: One... Two... Three...!
Cordelia Chase: [Cordelia clears her throat] Hi, guys.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia?
Charles Gunn: No way!
Angel: You're safe?
Cordelia Chase: A little bit. They made me ruler.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But this is fantastic.
Cordelia Chase: Well... It's not like my throne couldn't use a few extra cushions. But I'm really not gonna complain because well... throne.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can order them to release us?
Cordelia Chase: Yes, I really could.
Constable Narwek: Shall we gut the cows now, that you might dine on their ignoble flesh, Oh Most High?
Cordelia Chase: You're most high if you think that is gonna happen. Besides, shouldn't there be some extended groveling first?
Angel: Cordelia?
Cordelia Chase: Okay. Off with their heads!
[the Pyleans pull out their swords]
Cordelia Chase: Kidding.

Lorne: See there? She had a vision. That explains it.
Charles Gunn: It does?
Lorne: Well, see, there's this prophecy...
Angel: A prophecy. Great. Because those always go well...

Cordelia Chase: How did you get in?
Charles Gunn: Same way you did. Opened the portal, with the book.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We uhh... seem to have misplaced it.
Cordelia Chase: The portal or the book?
Charles Gunn: Both.
Cordelia Chase: I don't know about portals, but they've got books here. Those Trombonal guys, they used one when they swore me in.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've got to see those.
Cordelia Chase: In quite a hurry to get back to the "Cordelia is not a Princess" dimension, aren't ya?

Priest One: The Com-shuk is a mating ritual.
Charles Gunn: I told you it was dirty.
Cordelia Chase: [flustered and scared] Yes. Exactly. The mating ritual. Which is great.
[laughs]
Cordelia Chase: It's been a really long time since I've had a good Com-shuk. So umm... I'm just gonna run out for a minute... because I wanted to get it a gift. And you know... Groosaluggs are hard to buy for. So uhh... I should hurry.

Cordelia Chase: [as Cordelia grabs some treasure] Why can't we use the front door?
Charles Gunn: Do you really think you'll be able to get your booty through the front door?
Cordelia Chase: Hey!
Charles Gunn: That booty.
[points at treasure]
Cordelia Chase: Oh. I just wanted a little something to remember my reign by. Is that so wrong?

Charles Gunn: [to Wesley] You having a "Blair Witch" moment?


"Angel: Slouching Toward Bethlehem (#4.4)" (2002)
Cordelia: That's everything? It all makes perfect sense now. I was a cheerleader, a princess and a warrior. And I have visions and super powers and I'm the target of an evil law firm because I've spent the last three months living on a higher plane, fighting for the forces of good, who wage a battle against demons and evilies and squishy bug babies, 'cause all that stuff's real and that's the world I live in. And-and I think I know why I don't remember any of this 'cause, hey who'd want to!
Angel: I know it's a lot to take in.
Cordelia: Says the vampire with a soul and his wacky gang of sidekicks.
Charles Gunn: [Raises his hand] Um, not a sidekick.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Is that why you ran out while Cordelia was singing?
Lorne: Well, "A", I wasn't running, I was fleeing. And, "B", yes.
Charles Gunn: Well, how horrible is this thing?
Lorne: Well, I haven't read the Book of Revelations lately, but, if I was searching for adjectives, I'd probably start there.

Cordelia: [after beating up two guys] Wow. How did I-?
[beat]
Cordelia: I am a spy.
[Angel sighs]
Cordelia: I get it now. You're all spies. Probably all Russian. And you've brainwashed me, and want me to believe we're friends so I'll spill the beans about some nano-techno-thingy that you want.
Charles Gunn: So... I look Russian to you?
Cordelia: Black Russian.
Angel: That's a drink.
Cordelia: Says the head spy.

Charles Gunn: Where you going?
Cordelia: Out. Away. Does it matter?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: But it's not safe.
Cordelia: Oh, right, 'cause of evil ninja law firm.
Charles Gunn: We'll come with, just in case.
Cordelia: You keep telling me I was a higher being. Don't make me turn you into a rat.
[slams door]
Charles Gunn: [Freaked out] Can she do that?

Charles Gunn: How 'bout a sandwich. Let's go to the kitchen.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We have cookies.
Cordelia: I don't want a sandwich. I don't want cookies. I wanna talk to Angel, sans sidekicks.
[Walks off]
Charles Gunn: I am not a sidekick.

Angel: How could you let her wander off alone?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: The words "grown woman" come to mind.
Charles Gunn: And the gal does have a history of whooping ass. I mean, you saw the hurting she put on those Wolfram and Hart dudes. And could she really turn me into a rat?


"Angel: Redefinition (#2.11)" (2001)
[first lines]
Cordelia Chase: What just happened? Can someone explain to me what just happened here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I believe we were fired.
Charles Gunn: Canned.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let go.
Charles Gunn: Axed.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Shown the door.
Charles Gunn: Booted.
Cordelia Chase: Alright! I get it! But what just happened? Fired! Angel fired us?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So, I'll assume it's not Madonna. But what song were you gonna sing?
Charles Gunn: You wouldn't know it.
Cordelia Chase: Well, I, for one, would just like to point out the patheticness that is us. This is all Angel's fault. Hope he's happy now. All alone in his demon world with no one to talk to.

Cordelia Chase: You see, that's what I'm saying. If Wesley hadn't been all shaking his finger...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, no, no.
Cordelia Chase: And, no, no, no, this whole Darla thing woulda have just... you know blown over.
Charles Gunn: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Blown over? Angel is obsessed with Darla. Obsessions don't just blow over.
Charles Gunn: Right.
Cordelia Chase: Well, you certainly didn't help by making him feel guilty about it. You shamed him into firing us.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're blaming this on me?
Cordelia Chase: I'm not blaming... Yes, I'm blaming you. You get the blame.
Charles Gunn: I don't know. I mean, if I had to listen to you two, day in, day out. Snipe, snipe, snipe. Bitch, bitch, bitch! I figure y'all got off easy, 'cause I would have killed you.
Cordelia Chase: [scoffs] That's rich, coming from Mr. "I-Don't-Take-Orders-Now-Where-Do-I-Stick-My-Axe?"
Charles Gunn: What does that supposed to mean?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, Gunn... You've never been very supportive of Angel's leadership role. I remember a certain shroud...
Charles Gunn: Hold up, hold up. Are you trying to tell me this is my fault?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, how is a man supposed to run a business if his employees won't follow directives?
Charles Gunn: Was one of his directives, "Hire a pansy-ass British guy?".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: My ass is not pansy!

Charles Gunn: What about her? Maybe if she'd had a couple more visions, Angel would have been too distracted to think about this Darla chick, huh?
Cordelia Chase: Earth to retards! If you have an obsession, you pretty much squeeze it into your schedule, no matter what!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah-ha! So you admit it is an obsession.
Cordelia Chase: No... I mean, yes, but no!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Hypocrite.
Cordelia Chase: Ass pansy!

Cordelia Chase: So how do we find her?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We start with basics. First, we examine the area for any tell-tale signs of a particular kind of... eugh.
Charles Gunn: There's different kinds of "eugh"?


"Angel: Offspring (#3.7)" (2001)
Angel: [about Darla] She bit Cordy.
Lorne: Oh, sweetie. Are you alright?
Angel: No. Where is she?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.
Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but...

Angel: Darla.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Darla?
Cordelia Chase: Darla?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Who's Darla?
Charles Gunn: Angel's old flame from way back.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not the one who died?
Charles Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Charles Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.

Cordelia Chase: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: What?
Cordelia Chase: I love you, too.
Angel: You do? When did this...?
Cordelia Chase: [to Wes, Gunn, and Fred] Angel loves me, I love him!
Angel: Oh, my God.
Cordelia Chase: You guys love us and we love you.
Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We love you, Angel!

Charles Gunn: [about the baby Darla is carrying] Maybe it's some kind of über-vamp?

Angel: [talking about Darla] Where is she?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.
Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fist and feet with our faces.


"Angel: Time Bomb (#5.19)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She still thinks she's the god-king of the universe.
Charles Gunn: So she's like a TV star.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. Nothing that bad.

Charles Gunn: Have you talked to Wes?
Lorne: Well, we've exchanged words. I wouldn't exactly call it talking. He's still reeling since Our Lady of the Blue Bummer arrived.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, I was just in his office, and he...
Lorne: Oh, God! Don't go in there! That's where he keeps his full-strength crazy.

Charles Gunn: Amanda, The Fell Brethren leader makes Jim Jones look like a Sunday school teacher!
Amanda: Who's Jim Jones?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I stabbed you. I should apologize for that, but I'm honestly not sure how. I think it'll just be awkward.
Charles Gunn: Good call.

Charles Gunn: I turned him down. Not into making deals. Not anymore.
Angel: Well, that's gonna make it tough to be a lawyer.


"Angel: Power Play (#5.21)" (2004)
Lindsey McDonald: [about the Circle of the Black Thorn] It's a secret society.
Gunn: Never heard of 'em.
Lindsey McDonald: That's 'cause it's "secret".

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia gave you her visions?
Angel: It was only a one-shot deal. The vision didn't hit me until later that night. I knew then about the Black Thorn and who was behind the Apocalypse, but I couldn't see their faces. I was aware of where the power was, but didn't know who. Then Fred died and I didn't want that to be another awful thing in an awful world so I decided to use it... to make her death matter. And it worked. I'm in. I've seen the faces of evil in the Black Thorn. I know who the real powers in the Apocalypse are.
Gunn: So, what you said earlier about power...
Angel: I was telling the truth about that. Wolfam & Hart is like a machine. That machine has been around since the dawn of time and it will be around long after our bodies are dust and bones. The Senior Partners and Wolfram & Hart will always exist in one form or another because mankind is weak.
Lorne the Host: Someone might want to hand me the crossbow, 'cause I think he gonna start talking about ants again.
Angel: WE are weak. The powerful control everything... except our will to choose. Lindsey may be a pathetic half-wit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it. The Senior Partners may be eternal, but we can make their existence painful.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You want to take them on? The Senior Partners?
Angel: Why not? Wolfram & Hart is a machine. We're in the machine. The Black Thorn runs it. They are the closest thing to the Senior Partners in this plane of existence. If we wipe out the Black Thorn, we can tip the scales in our favor. Bring Wolfram & Hart's gears and the Apocalypse to a grinding halt, even if it's just for a moment or two.
Spike: About time we got our hands dirty.

Angel: This isn't a "keep fighting the good fight" kind of deal. Let's be clear. I'm talking about killing every... single... member... of the Black Thorn. We don't walk away from that.
Lorne the Host: Do we crawl away at least?
Angel: We do this, the Senior Partners will rain their full wrath. They'll make an example of us. I'm talkin' full-on hell, not the basic fire-and-brimstone kind that we're used to.
Gunn: We know the drill.
Angel: No, you don't! Ten to one, we're gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So... I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can't bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright shiny moment we can show them that they don't own us! You need to decide for yourselves if that's worth dying for. I can't order you to do this... but I can't do it without you. So we'll vote... as a team. Think about what I'm asking you to do. Think about what I'm asking you to give.
Spike: [grim tone] Kill 'em all. Burn the house down while we're still in it.
Angel: Something like that.

Drogyn: It was a Sathari, part of a clan of demon assassins. They fell upon me last night at the Deeper Well. The poison from his four blades wearing heavy on my limbs...
Spike: [cutting him off] Yeah, rousing bit of rah-rah, mate. Get to the goods. Tell them what you told me.
Drogyn: Once I bested him, I tortured the Sathari for hours, until he confessed to me who sent him. It was Angel.
Spike: Tell them why.
Drogyn: He said that Angel was afraid I'd find something in the Deeper Well... something that would uncover the truth about his involvment.
Gunn: In what?
Drogyn: Helping Illyria escape from her tomb.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I thought the release of her sarcophagus from the Deeper Well was predestined.
Drogyn: That's what I thought at the time, but now I belive... Illyria's resurrection may have been planned.
Gunn: By Angel?
Lorne the Host: Oh, that doesn't make a lick of sense. Why would Angel want to spring an Old One?
Drogyn: I don't think that was the point.
Gunn: Then what was?
Drogyn: Before he died, the assasin said something about a sacrifice. Someone... trusted and dear.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Are you saying that Angel... was responsible for what happened to Fred?
Drogyn: I mean, he may not have chosen her specifically, but...
Lorne the Host: Whoa! Let's but a kibosh on that sentence before it turns into an ass-kicking.
Drogyn: Do you think I gain pleasure in this? I held Angel as an ally, a brother.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you belive he may have murdered Fred?
Drogyn: I know this is difficult for you, but Angel was involved. The information I retreived from the assasin...
Gunn: Did you ever think that the demon assasin was lying to you?
Drogyn: No one lies when they're in extreme pain... at the mercy of my wrath.
Gunn: Then you're the liar, Aragon.
Spike: He has to tell the truth. He cannot lie. It's a curse or something.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Spike's right. This is Drogyn, the battlebrand, given eternal youth a thousand years ago. Demon bane, truth sayer... Watchers council.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Business. What "business" are we in, Angel?
Angel: Do I really have to explain this to you people? We're in the business of business. Oil, software, worldwide wickets... the product doesn't matter. It's the game that matters. Get to the top, be the best, have the most, win.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Win what?
Angel: You're still missing the point.
Gunn: That Angel talking? 'cause it sounds a lot more like Angelus.
Angel: If I was Angelus, half of you would already be dead, just for the fun of it.
Spike: One of us already is. Having fun yet?
Angel: You wanna know the truth? The truth is there's only one of us who ever understood how things really work. Lorne
Lorne the Host: Whoa, hey! Can I not be the poster child for you nervous breakdown?


"Angel: Heartthrob (#3.1)" (2001)
[first lines]
Cordelia: I understand people who drink too much. I understand people who put a little note on the parking meter that says it's broken when it's not. I don't understand people who worship demons.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, especially a Lurite demon. The stink on that thing. You're a prince of the underworld, bro, take a Jacuzzi once in a while
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons.
[Cordelia yarns]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn't a Lurite, it was a Murite. A subspecies of the Lurite. The male sports a small telltale fin just behind the third shoulder.
Charles Gunn: So glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, we have to be a little obsessed, we're detectives who specialize in these things.
Cordelia: But... we're not sad.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. No, we're a happy and rambunctious lot if I ever saw one.

Cordelia: [about Angel] As soon as he works through his grief a little.
Charles Gunn: A little? Buff...
Cordelia: Don't say the "B" word!
Charles Gunn: The "B" word was the love of his life. And he's what, two hundred and fifty? That ain't no short life. This grief-work's gonna take more than a vacation in Sri Lanka.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It isn't a vacation, it's a spiritual retreat at a monastery.
Charles Gunn: Hmm. Angel and a buncha monks in the middle of nowhere. There's a party. He shoulda got hammered and gone to Vegas like I told him.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He doesn't need a lap dance, he needs some peace and quiet to work through this.

Cordelia: You guys amaze me. You'll fight hell beasts but you're scared of rats.
Charles Gunn: Man, I hate rats. Their little beady eyes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And their beady teeth.
Charles Gunn: And their little tails all...
[makes whooshing noises, wiggles his butt]

Charles Gunn: I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives, but we have to. Work demands it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: True. I mean who's got time for love when you're out there doing it with the demons? Didn't that come out sad and wrong?
Cordelia: Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I need to get out more. Speaking of, did anyone talk to Fred, lately?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Pylea] Fred was there five years. She was a slave, a runaway. They nearly chopped her head off. All those years she spent hiding out alone in that cave.
Charles Gunn: She survived. Girl's strong.
Cordelia: Girl's trading one cave for another. How strong is that?


"Angel: Underneath (#5.17)" (2004)
Gunn: Where we're goin', not in the Thomas Guide.
Spike: There's gonna be fire.

[Gunn has to take Lindsey's place in hell]
Angel: You knew.
Gunn: Thing about atonement.

Angel: What the hell are you doin'?
Gunn: What needs to be done.

Gunn: [Hiding behind the couch from the little boy shooting at them] We have to find the Wrath! Where's the Wrath?
Spike: Where's not the wrath, the wrath is all over!

[Gunn opens the car door, letting sunlight in]
Spike, Angel: Ahhh!
Gunn: Alternate dimension, remember? Sun's the non-frying variety.
Spike: Figured that.
Angel: Oh, right.


"Angel: Blood Money (#2.12)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: Go on, English, make your move, 'cause it'll be your last.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You think I don't have what it takes?
Charles Gunn: I know you don't have what it takes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I guess we'll just have to find out.

Charles Gunn: [playing Risk] And now I rule Europe, Australia and South America!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've still got Kamchatka.
Charles Gunn: Three-fifths of the world covered in water, the rest covered in me. Ha-ha! Who's your ruler, baby? What's my name? Come on English, say it, dog.

Cordelia Chase: Fun as it is having you guys over day and night, it's getting kind of late.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's only seven thirty.
Cordelia Chase: Really? Oh, in that case... Get out!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What if you have a vision?
Cordelia Chase: I'll call you.
Charles Gunn: What if Angel...?
Cordelia Chase: I thought we weren't gonna say the "A" word.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, let's not say the "A" word. Let's just spend out lives sitting around waiting for him to call.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're not waiting for him to call. The man fired us. We're on our own now. A separate unit, fighting the good fight.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, right. With no plan, or office or business cards of our own.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's never gonna call, is he? Right, I'll tell you the first thing we're scrapping: These stupid calling cards.
Cordelia Chase: They are not stupid. I designed them. That's an angel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The universal symbol of the one thing we don't have.
Charles Gunn: That's an angel? Looks like a lobster with a growth or... We'll make our own logo.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, something sleek, but edgy.
Charles Gunn: Something that says: "You need help, we're there".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Exactly. "Danger is our business. We'll catch you when you fall".
Charles Gunn: Yeah, I like that.
Cordelia Chase: [Cordelia has a vision and falls] Guys...

Charles Gunn: So it's big.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Big.
Charles Gunn: And fire breathing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Breathing.
Charles Gunn: Big, two-headed, fire-breathing...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think we all have the picture, Gunn. He's not a teddy bear and he probably shouldn't be attending the Kenyard School for Girls.
Charles Gunn: You know, right about now I wouldn't mind...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Don't say it! We don't have him and it's not going to do any good wishing we did!
Charles Gunn: I was gonna say some dynamite.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, dynamite.


"Angel: Guise Will Be Guise (#2.6)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: It's cool. He's got a plan.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A plan?
Angel: Yeah. I get to the offices before they stop me.
Charles Gunn: See? What? That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?

Charles Gunn: Okay, what I want to know is... how I live in L.A. all my life and not know this weird-ass stuff was going on?
Cordelia Chase: Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think.

Charles Gunn: Wait, are you saying... Is he gonna sing? Oh, God, is Angel gonna sing?

Charles Gunn: At gun point?
Cordelia Chase: Yes, the point of a gun. He just walked Wesley right out of here. And this whole "I'm Angel" thing is a very, very bad idea. I mean, if I thought that would work, I could've been Angel, because, guess what? Pretty much a girly name.

Magnus Bryce: She's impure? Sh-She's not a virgin?
[to Wesley]
Magnus Bryce: You...
Charles Gunn: Whoa, that's what impure meant?
Cordelia Chase: She slept with him?
Magnus Bryce: [to Wesley, imitating Angel] You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: You slept with her?
Angel: A eunuch?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Things happen. Two young people. Danger.
Virginia Bryce: What are you talking about?
Magnus Bryce: She was a virgin before you got here.
Virginia Bryce: I was not a virgin!
Magnus Bryce: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, thank goodness.
Charles Gunn: I coulda have told you she wasn't no virgin.
Angel: Not a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: One day as Angel... One day, and he's getting some.
Magnus Bryce: What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.
Angel: I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.
Virginia Bryce: Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was sixteen? And the one at eighteen? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.


"Angel: Deep Down (#4.1)" (2002)
Charles Gunn: You okay?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: No. You?
Charles Gunn: Nope.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Nice we still do things together.

Charles Gunn: Right, we'll just stroll into their heavily guarded law offices, and ask Lilah the Evil Bitch Queen for help finding out what happened to their archenemy, but, we're kinda broke so it'll have to be pro bono.

Charles Gunn: [about Connor] If he ain't dead, I'm gonna kill him.

Charles Gunn: [to Connor] That's right, Sparky. Daddy's comin' home. And I'm guessing there's gonna be a spanking.

Angel: Wesley told me everything that's been going on. So as far as I'm concerned, what you deserve rests on one answer. Did you do something to Cordelia?
Connor: No.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: He's lying.
Connor: No, I'm not.
Charles Gunn: No way she just happened to disappear the same night.
Connor: I'm telling the truth, okay?
Angel: I know. I can tell. Done enough lying for me to know the difference. Truth has a better sound to it. Less nasal, you know.


"Angel: The Shroud of Rahmon (#2.8)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: And what am I supposed to do? Sit home and knit?
Angel: I could use a sweater... something dark.

Charles Gunn: So, what we looking for? Ming something, Egyptian something?
Vyasa: The Shroud of Rahmon. It's worth about two million on the black market.

Angel: [indicating Gunn] This guy here is a trouble maker. Alright, I know a Majnu demon, professional driver, who never opens up his mouth.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and I know a vampire that better shut his.

Charles Gunn: Don't hit me again.
Angel: I was trying to protect you.
Charles Gunn: I appreciate that.
[punches Angel]
Charles Gunn: Don't do it again.

Angel: [to Gunn] You know, I'm getting pretty sick of this vampires-killed-my-sister-so-now-I'm-all-entitled song. Don't you know anything else? Like say, ah, MacArthur Park?
Charles Gunn: Get your hands off my throat.
Angel: Ah, ah, ah... you gonna play nice?
Charles Gunn: I'm cool.


"Angel: Belonging (#2.19)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: What do you see?
Cordelia Chase: Moo...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Moo? Some sort of cow monster?
Cordelia Chase: Move! I think the sashimi's coming up.
[throws up]
Angel: They'll take that off the bill, right?

Angel: He's also got her wearing this flimsy swimsuit that covers, like... nothing.
[long pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Appalling.
Charles Gunn: Disgusting.
Angel: Right.

[first lines]
Cordelia Chase: You want to try some of my sashimi?
Charles Gunn: That's the raw fish? Maybe when hell freezes over.

Charles Gunn: You should've waited for me.
Rondell: We've been waiting on you for months, brah.


"Angel: Judgment (#2.1)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: Gun. It really lets them know you mean business.
Charles Gunn: It's my name. Charles Gunn. Two n's.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, I'm Wesley Wyndam... Pryce, and this is Cordelia Chase.
Cordelia Chase: It's nice to finally meet.
Charles Gunn: I've seen you before.
Cordelia Chase: Really? The Tan 'n' Screen commercials?
Charles Gunn: I saw you in bed.
Cordelia Chase: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I-I can see this is none of my business.
Charles Gunn: You too.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Now, just a moment!
Charles Gunn: In the hospital - after Angel's building blew? He sent me there to keep an eye on you two.
Cordelia Chase: Right.
Charles Gunn: I'm just messing with y'all. I was hoping for some demon fighting tonight, but I wound up with a delivery job instead.

Cordelia Chase: [knock at the door] Who is it?
Charles Gunn: Gunn.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What was that?
Cordelia Chase: Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen up, whoever you are. We're well-armed and we know how to do battle so if you know what's good for you...
Charles Gunn: My name is Gunn. Angel sent me.

Angel: You ever hear of a Prio Motu?
Charles Gunn: Is that like a '62 Chevy with the big cam? Alright, I coulda just said "no".


"Angel: Dear Boy (#2.5)" (2000)
Detective Kate Lockley: Oh, looky here.
[reads]
Detective Kate Lockley: "Disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, G.T.A., assault." You've lead a rich full life, haven't you, Charles?
Charles Gunn: I get around.
Cordelia Chase: I know this guy, he helps people. I bet this stuff you're dredging up happened a long time ago, didn't it.
Detective Kate Lockley: Some of it was when he was a minor.
Cordelia Chase: Uh-huh.
Detective Kate Lockley: And some of it was in the last two weeks.
Cordelia Chase: Oh.
Detective Kate Lockley: Word to the wise, Charles, hanging out with these two and their creature-of-the-night boss won't be good for the resume.
Charles Gunn: I can see you're lookin' out for me, detective.
Cordelia Chase: Okay, okay, let's not get off track here. We wanna find Angel as much as you do.
Detective Kate Lockley: No, you don't. You wannna protect him even though he's lost it. He stalked that woman because he thought she was this Darla from his past. She begged him to stay out and he knocked down the door and killed her husband. I've read about him, too. I know what he is and I know he hasn't changed.
Charles Gunn: No he hasn't, he's still a vampire.
Cordelia Chase: Gunn! Not helping.
Charles Gunn: So, how'd he get in the house? She invite him in?
Detective Kate Lockley: 'Course she didn't in...

Charles Gunn: You are not paying me enough for this! My Uncle Theo always said, "Never buy a dull plow, and never get in the middle of a religious war".
Cordelia Chase: Do you really have an Uncle Theo?
Charles Gunn: Nah. But it's still good advice.

Charles Gunn: As evil blood-suck vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with his sire, Darla.
Cordelia Chase: We're researching her now to see if she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she's a vampire cat with nine lives, or something!
Charles Gunn: So, he and Darla together, bad combo?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: They rampaged through half the known world, until Angel got his soul.
Cordelia Chase: Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had a hundred and fifty years to get it right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This is all just precautionary. When push comes to shove, Angel's a... We trust him.
Charles Gunn: I see.
Cordelia Chase: It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky.
Charles Gunn: He turns evil?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, there are forces than can make Angel revert to Angelus, the vampire he was before he got a soul.


"Angel: Disharmony (#2.17)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I took the liberty of providing you with a new working space.
Angel: Great.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Angel starts to go. Wesley stops him with] And I'd love a cup of coffee.
Angel: [wryly appreciates the joke] That's, that's very funny.
Cordelia: [Now, Cordelia passes in front of Angel saying] Two sugars in mine.
Charles Gunn: Mocha cappuccino, here.
Angel: [Slowly realizes they're not kidding, his smile fades and he turns to get coffees] Man, atonement's a bitch.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Harmony] It's all right to speak freely in front of her. - She's a vampire.
Charles Gunn: Don't we kill them anymore?

Charles Gunn: Just so we're on the same page, when we find this vampire cult, we are going to kill 'em this time, right?

Charles Gunn: Now we're saving a vampire from vampires? I got two words for that: Nuh and uh!


"Angel: That Vision Thing (#3.2)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: Five herb shops in Chinatown. We've been to four. How come whatever we're searchin' for is always in the last place we look?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Ah... ahem... A sleuth, a gumshoe, a Sherlock.
Charles Gunn: All I know is, you use the word "dick" again, and we're gonna have a problem. So what's the name of this place anyway?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Van Hoa Dong. It should be up here on the left.

Charles Gunn: [describing Cordelia's visions to Fred] What Cordelia means is that she doesn't choose to have a vision. The Powers send them to her, when they got info to share.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Think of them as gifts.
Cordelia: Yes, "having my head torn open and hot lava poured into my skull" gifts.

Old Chinese Woman: [Angel, Gunn and Wesley enter Chinese herbalist] Your kind not welcome here.
Charles Gunn: Since when can't a brother buy some ginseng tea?
Old Chinese Man: Not you, him.
[points at Angel]
Old Chinese Man: Vampire not welcome.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I know you're probably disappointed that you couldn't go fight that thing with Angel.
Charles Gunn: Right, because why would I want to walk with a cute young woman on a beautiful night, when I could be out hacking and slaying an ugly, boil-covered demon monster, and getting myself killed?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I can't apologize enough.
Charles Gunn: Hey, I just follow orders, no matter how tough the job.


"Angel: That Old Gang of Mine (#3.3)" (2001)
Rondell: Gio's from Miami.
Charles Gunn: Ah... Coast-to-coast, huh?
Gio: It's somethin' like that. You might be able to help me out. Why is it that places like L.A. and Miami bring out the teeth you suppose? I mean, you would think that the vamps would want to hang in less sunnier climes, you know what I'm saying?
Charles Gunn: Yeah, I think I do.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It was them. They killed Merl and the others.
[to Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You knew.
Charles Gunn: I should have said something. I was going to. I was just... I was trying to work it out, man. Figure how to deal.
Lorne: So, have you worked it out yet?

Charles Gunn: [about killing Angel] You think I won't kill him because he's my friend? That ain't why. Truth is, he can never be my friend. It's on account of what he is. Not his fault, really. Just the way it worked out.
Rondell: [about Angel] He ain't your friend. I am. And you gonna choose that over me?
Charles Gunn: Looks like. It's about the mission, bro. He's got it. You don't.

[last lines]
Charles Gunn: No matter what else, I think I proved that you can trust me when I could have killed you and I didn't.
Angel: No - you'll prove I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me - and you do.


"Angel: Shells (#5.16)" (2004)
Harmony Kendall: Gonna torture him?
Charles Gunn: Thinkin' about it.
Harmony Kendall: Can I help? I'm really good at it.

Charles Gunn: I know how you feel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You know- You didn't feel her die.
[He begins to cry]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She was shaking with pain and terrified and so brave. She was better than anyone I've known. Better than... She's gone.

Charles Gunn: What about her - If her organs have been liquefied?
Spike: [raises hand] Flash fried in a pillar of fire, savin' the world. I got better.

Harmony Kendall: How could you do that? To your friends? To Fred?
Charles Gunn: Because I was weak. Because I wanted to be somebody that I wasn't. Because I don't know where I fit. Because I never did. Because a thousand other reasons that don't mean a damn because she's gone.
[crying]
Charles Gunn: She's gone... and she's not coming back because of me. I did this, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.


"Angel: Inside Out (#4.17)" (2003)
Gunn: The final score can't be rigged. I don't care how many players you grease, that last shot always comes up a question mark. But here's the thing, you never know when you're takin' it. It could be when your duking it out with the legion of doom, or just crossin' the street deciding where to have brunch. So you just treat it all like it was up to you, with the world in the balance, cause you never know when it is.

Gunn: You sayin' Pop and Mama threw you a beatin'?
Lorne: Kid Vicious did the heavy lifting. Cordy just "mwha-ha-ha-ed" at us.

Gunn: Guy steps out for a few hours, half the place goes super-villain.

Charles Gunn: The final score can't be rigged. I don't care how many players you grease, that last shot always comes up question mark. But here's the thing, you never know when you're taken it. It could be when you're duken' it out with the legion of doom, or just crossing the street deciding where to have brunch. So you just treat it all like it was up to you, with the world in the balance, cause you never know when it is.


"Angel: Happy Anniversary (#2.13)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: Okay, everyone parked within ten blocks has a flier on their windshield. We just slightly irritated almost a hundred people.

Virginia Bryce: I'll call Patty and tell her you'll take the job.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, sweetie, no phone.
Cordelia Chase: Also, no lights.
Charles Gunn: And there's a funky smell.
Virginia Bryce: I wasn't gonna say anything.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [from under the desk, trying to fix the phone] Aha! Things are looking up. I think I found the right wire. Ah!
[The lights go out.]
Charles Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really.

[Virginia finds Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn sulking in their run-down new office]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sorry, sweetheart. You just caught us in a moment of... Well...
Cordelia Chase: Reality.
Virginia Bryce: Oh, - that. I avoid that.
Charles Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia Bryce: Money. It cures everything but boredom
[holds up a basket of food]
Virginia Bryce: and food cures boredom, so there you go. Imported chips and packets of cheese.
Charles Gunn: Thanks.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We'll enjoy them huddled 'round our pathetic candles.
Cordelia Chase: We'll make pathetic nachos.
Virginia Bryce: You guys are really down.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and don't try to tell us there's nowhere to go but up. Because the truth is, there's always more down.


"Angel: Life of the Party (#5.5)" (2003)
Spike: You pissed in the Big Man's chair? That's fantastic.
Gunn: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
Spike: What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous.

Angel: Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
Gunn: Lord, I hope so.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Drunk] That's weird, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Also drunk] Yes, I think so. I think that's weird.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: There's Gunn. Let's go ask him if that's weird.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on?
[Gunn turns toward Wesley without moving his hands, which are together just below his waist]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Charles, you just peed on my shoes.
Gunn: [Looks down, confused] I'll be damned.
[zips his zipper]
Gunn: That's weird.

Spike: [Very cheery] Hey, is this a great party or what?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: OK, something is definitely wrong with this picture.
Spike: [Still eerily cheery] This might be the greatest song ever written!
[dances, moving his head, singing along]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes. We appear to be under the effect of something, a spell.
Gunn: Spike, how long have you been, you know... this?
Spike: It's great, isn't it? I don't know. Happened a bit after I talked with Angel and Lorne. Yeah. Lorne told me to think positively.


"Angel: Waiting in the Wings (#3.13)" (2002)
Charles Gunn: I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.

Angel: Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're gonna be trippin' out.
Charles Gunn: Don't be usin' my own phrases when we've lost the trust.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So, what are we thinking? Vampires?
Cordelia: Well, they're not a deeply tanned bunch.
Charles Gunn: That would explain the precision and the athleticism. I mean, some of those jumps were-
[everyone looks at him]
Charles Gunn: You know, I was cool before I met y'all.


"Angel: The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco (#5.6)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
Spike: Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playin' Agatha Christie.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Spike: Called shotgun, mate.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh. I thought we were doing a weapons check.
Charles Gunn: Nothin' wrong with that. We may need these bad boys if we're goin' up against some Mexican Day of the Dead heart-suckin' monster.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile...
[Angel interrupts by pulling a screeching U-Turn]
Spike: Always was a bit of a drama queen.

Charles Gunn: Notice no matter how uptown we go we always wind up at some stanky hole in the middle of the night?

Angel: The reason why I know this Aztec demon is not eating the hearts of heroes is... He didn't take mine. Am I honestly supposed to believe that it had no problem sticking a sword in my stomach but then decided, "Oh wait, his heart's not heroic enough?" Ha! I don't think so.
Charles Gunn: I understand you're feeling rejected. But this Aztec warrior... it wants the hearts for sustenance. It wants it for the meat, not the metaphor.
Angel: What are you saying?
Charles Gunn: As meat goes, your heart's a dried-up hunk of gnarly-ass beef jerky.
Angel: Yeah, but, stick a piece of wood in it, and I still die.


"Angel: Just Rewards (#5.2)" (2003)
Spike: And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I've got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by...
Fred: Excuse me?
Wes: Did - Did you just say - Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club. Another vampire with a soul in the world.
Angel: You're not *in* the world, Casper.

[Spike materializes in Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart, and bends over in pain, then realizes he's facing some familiar faces and some strangers]
Spike: What? What?
Harmony: What the hell are you doing here, Spike?
Wesley: Harmony, please.
Gunn: This is Spike? *The* Spike?
Fred: Wait a minute. Who's...
Lorne: [calmly, to Spike] Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you.
Gunn: Speak for yourself, Green Jeans.
Fred: OK, would somebody please tell me who...
Wesley: William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to...
Angel: Me. But you're dead.
Harmony: Well, yeah. Who here isn't?
[looks around]
Harmony: Besides him and him and her and...
[to Lorne]
Harmony: What are you, again?
Spike: [lunges at Angel in game-face, but goes right through him and winds up standing in Angel's desk] Bugger.

Gunn: I fired 40 employees in the past two days.
Angel: How's that going?
Gunn: As expected. Anger, tears, venomous death threats.


"Angel: The House Always Wins (#4.3)" (2002)
Charles Gunn: No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he's a demon.
Fred: They must think it's all makeup like the Blue Man Group. You don't think the Blue Man Group...
Angel: Only two of 'em.

Angel: It's like I told Sammy Davis at the Sands. When you, Frank, and Dean are the meal, you don't need the trimmings.
Charles Gunn: Hold up. You knew the Rat Pack?
Angel: Know 'em? No. I met 'em once. Twice. For drinks. Maybe it was three times. Hey, you know, I did have a life before you guys came along.

Charles Gunn: Something's starting to seem a lot not right about this.
Fred: That's what I've been saying, only with better grammar.


"Angel: Not Fade Away (#5.22)" (2004)
[facing an endless unslaught of demons]
Gunn: Okay, you take the 30,000 on the left...
Illyria: You're fading. You'll last 10 minutes at best.
Gunn: Then let's make it memorable.

Charles Gunn: Any word on Wes?
Illyria: Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.
Spike: Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: [Looking at the approaching mob of demons] Among other things.

Gunn: What if I told you it doesn't help? What would you do if you found out that none of it matters? That it's all controlled by forces more powerful and uncaring than we can conceive and they will never let it get better down here? What would you do?
Anne Steele: I'd get this truck packed before the new stuff gets here. Wanna give me a hand?


"Angel: Sacrifice (#4.20)" (2003)
[the refugees fleeing from Jasmine - Angel, Fred, Wesley, Gunn and Lorne - are listening to a happy, chipper voice on the car radio, a cheerful report that the Catholic Church will remove all false idols from its churches and replace them with images of Jasmine]
Lorne: Oh! Talk about media bias. Um, not that I wanna talk about media bias. It seems rather moot right now. And speaking of moot, what about us? You all feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What are we gonna do? What can we do?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There has to be an answer.
Angel: There has to be a way; we just need time.
Charles Gunn: The hell with that, we need a damned break. The universe don't seem to be handing out breaks to the underdog, lately. No leads, no database, no weapons, no shelter.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's very little gas.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We should have taken Connor with us. He looks- what if he doesn't wake up?
Angel: What if we took him, and he did?

Charles Gunn: So that's our big plan? Just keep running?
Lorne: Oh, I hear some good things about Belize!

Charles Gunn: I've never seen so many cruisers.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Technically, we're the only criminals left.
Angel: No way we're drivin' out of this. It's time we disappeared.


"Angel: Loyalty (#3.15)" (2002)
Gunn: [looking at a delivery Angel just recieved] Some kind of boomerang vamp-stake?
Angel: No, they're itty-bitty hockey sticks!

[Gunn is playing with the tiny hockey sticks that Angel bought for his baby son, Connor]
Angel: You know, hockey's a great sport.
Gunn: You realize this is the whitest sport known to man?
Angel: True. But the games are indoors, and they usually play at night.
Gunn: Got you.

Gunn: [Angel has just received a package in the mail] I want to know how he does it. No last name. No bank account. How you ordering stuff off the web?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not that hard, really. All you gotta do is hack into the shipping database, find someone who's ordering what you want and the substitute your information.
[pause]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: E-except that would just be high-tech robbery.
Angel: I memorized Cordelia's credit card number.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [brightly] Oh! Low-tech robbery!


"Angel: Dad (#3.10)" (2001)
[the gang is besieged and gets ready for the fight]
Charles Gunn: What are you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in "Rio Bravo". You?
Charles Gunn: Austin Stoker, "Assault on Precinct Thirteen".
Cordelia Chase: If we live through this, trade in the D.V.D. players and get a life.

Cordelia Chase: [to Angel] So, you're just gonna leave? Run away?
Charles Gunn: Why not? It's what hes good at. You sure you don't wanna fire us first, a little icing on the cake, while you leave us here to do the fighting?

[last lines]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not to be negative or anything, but we're okay, right? Nobody else is coming after Connor or us?
Angel: No, we're safe for the time being. Let's go home.
[to Gunn]
Angel: Nice stroller.
Charles Gunn: Thank you.


"Angel: Supersymmetry (#4.5)" (2002)
Jared: Hey, maybe I could help you guys - be your intern.
Charles Gunn: We're full up on interns, but the decoder ring's in the mail.

Charles Gunn: [At Fred's lecture] Listen, man, I'm gonna need simultaneous translating on this thing. You know, like the President with the Russians. But just gimme the highlights.
Angel: No problem. Of course, I have no idea what she's talking about.
Charles Gunn: Will you tell Fred that? If she thinks we're both stupid, I won't stand out as much.

Jared: You guys know how it is: you hear things, like from a friend of a friend's roommate. You don't know if they really happened.
Charles Gunn: Like the story about the girl, the cat and peanut butter.
Angel: That one's true.
[Gunn looks at him]
Angel: Long story.


"Angel: Quickening (#3.8)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's right. Clearly something wants this thing to come to term. We'll wait for it to be born, then we'll chop its head off.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: W-What if it doesn't have a head?
Cordelia: We're gonna need a really big mallet.
Charles Gunn: If it skitters, we should have a net or somethin'. Maybe a flamethrower.
Angel: Flamethrower? No, there'll be no throwing of flames!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's right. Clearly something wants this thing to come to term... We'll wait for it to be born, then we'll chop its head off.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: W-What if it doesn't have a head?
Cordelia: We're gonna need a really big mallet.
Charles Gunn: If it skitters, we should have a net or somethin'... Maybe a flamethrower.
Angel: Flamethrower? No, there'll be no throwing of flames!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [completing an ultrasound on Darla] Well, then, let's take a look, shall we? You know, I haven't studied one of these in quite a while.
Angel: Isn't that a head?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it is. Or is that the head?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Maybe, you're both right.
[everyone glares at her]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not like I'm suggesting it's an evil two-headed thing.
Cordelia: [looking at Darla's baby on the ultrasound screen] I see it.
Darla: My little parasite.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, my...
Angel: What is it?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's human.
Charles Gunn: Human, as in humanoid? As in cannibalistic, humanoid underground dwellers?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. Human as in... a boy.
Angel: A boy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A boy. A boy.
[to Darla]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're carrying a boy.
Darla: Great.


"Angel: Untouched (#2.4)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: [about his axe] Isn't this the thing? Some of the kids in my camp put it together for me. Thought I might get the chance to stick it in somethin' tonight.
Cordelia Chase: Men are all alike.

Charles Gunn: I'm still dealin' with this man's ugly ass living room set. Some people just shouldn't have money.

Charles Gunn: The fair Cordelia. You still saving my life?
Cordelia Chase: Every minute.
Charles Gunn: How's that working out?
Cordelia Chase: You're alive, aren't you?


"Angel: Forgiving (#3.17)" (2002)
[Angel visits Wesley in the hospital]
Angel: Hey, Wes. I just - I want you to know I understand why you did it. I know about the prophecies and I know how hard it must have been for you to... do what you did. You thought I was gonna turn evil and kill my son. I didn't. It's important you know that. This isn't Angelus talking. It's me, Angel. You know that, right?
[Wesley blinks his eyes once]
Angel: Good.
[grabs a pillow and shoves it down on Wes' face]
Angel: Son of a bitch, you're gonna pay for what you did! You took my son! You son of a bitch! You bastard! You think I'd forgive you? Never! You're gonna die! You hear me? You're gonna pay!
Orderly: [tries to drag Angel off of Wesley] Hey!
Angel: [throws him off] You took my son, YOU TOOK MY SON!
Fred: Stop it!
Angel: You took my son!
Charles Gunn: Angel, stop!
[Gunn and the orderlies begin to drag Angel away with success]
Angel: Never! Never!
Charles Gunn: Come on, man! Stop!
Angel: I'll kill you! You're dead! You're a dead man, Pryce! You're dead! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! You're a dead man! Dead! Dead!

Charles Gunn: This is making even less and less sense. You expect us to belive that Wesley... OUR Wesley just walked up to Holtz and handed him Connor?
Lorne: They've been meeting secretly for over a week now. I read that much before Wesley attacked me.
Charles Gunn: Then you read him wrong! Wesley wouldn't betray us for no reason!
Lorne: But he did. He was not taking Connor out for a stroll, Charles. When he left here with that child, he wasn't planning on coming back... ever.

Sahjhan: I don't like to brag but... read any good prophecies lately?
Charles Gunn: You wrote the prophecies that Angel was going to kill his son?
Sahjhan: More of a rewrite.
Fred: "The father will kill the son."
Sahjhan: Yeah. I flitted back and forth through time, changed the one that threatened me, polished some others, flitted in a manly way, just so we're clear. You're not really my enemy, Angel. You're in my home uninvited and I'm gonna kick you ass for that, but you were never the point here.
Angel: It was my son, Connor.
Sahjhan: Boy, can't put one over on you, can you? Oh, wait... already did! It's pretty freaky the first time you see your name in a true prophecy all carved in blood on an official scroll. "The one sired by the vampire with a soul shall grow to manhood and kill Sahjahn". Me!
Fred: So you planted false prophecies that Angel would kill his son, and Wesley believed them. That's why he betrayed us. He read 'em and be believed 'em. He really did belive that Angel would kill his son!
Sahjhan: Thank God Wesley had some spine. He was willing to walk away from all of you to what he believed that he was saving that baby's life. Holtz was useless. He wanted to raise your kid as his own. I'm living incorporeal with a knife over my heart for 1,100 years, so I bring Holtz here into this century to kill Angel and Darla before they can conceive, and you know what? Holtz isn't interested in killing you, Angel. All he's into is some petty revenge. If Holtz had just killed the damn thing while it was still in its mother, we could have avoided all of this!
[enraged, Angel attacks Sahjahn]


"Angel: Habeas Corpses (#4.8)" (2003)
Angel: You know where it is. The beast.
Wes: Inside Wolfram and Hart. And so is...
Charles Gunn: Well that answers a lot of questions. They're probably havin' a big sit-down, breakin' bread.
Wes: It's killing everything that moves in there.
Charles Gunn: I've heard worse news.

Charles Gunn: What the hell was that?
Wes: Zombies.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, thanks for the newsflash, Captain Obvious.


"Angel: A Hole in the World (#5.15)" (2004)
Charles Gunn: I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is kinda blowin' my mind.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Tell me.
Charles Gunn: Fred and I are getting' back together! She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talkin' for hours like old times. Then, all of a sud- I can't even keep this up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.

[Fred is dying from a demonic infection]
Knox: Nothing would make me happier than to be the white knight in this situation, and have her look at me the way that... I mean, I don't just care about Fred. I practically worship it.
Charles Gunn: You said "it."
Knox: What?
Charles Gunn: Not "her." You said "I worship *it*."
Knox: [smiles evilly] Oops.


"Angel: Lineage (#5.7)" (2003)
Wesley: Lorne runs our entertainment division.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Entertainment division? Well, I can see how that would be very useful in the fight against evil.
Charles Gunn: You'd be amazed at how many horrible movies we've stopped.

Spike: Oh, Eve's stuck in the elevator.
Charles Gunn: So tell maintenance.
Spike: Well, where the bloody hell is maint - Oh, to be honest, I don't really care.


"Angel: To Shanshu in L.A. (#1.22)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: If God was a busboy, he'd look just like you, Jesus.

Gunn: [to Angel] Are you getting enough iron? You look a little pale.


"Angel: Blind Date (#1.21)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: Give me one good reason.
Angel: It'll be extremely dangerous.
Charles Gunn: Okay.

Charles Gunn: Whoo! Whoo! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe 'em. Damn. Here it is! Evil white folks really do have a Mecca. Now, now, now girls, don't get all riled up.
[screams]
Charles Gunn: Did you just step on my foot? Was that my foot you just stepped on? Are you assaulting me up in this haven of justice? Somebody get me a lawyer, 'cause my civil rights have seriously been violated. Oh, I get it, I get it. Y'all can cater to the demon, cater to the dead man, but what about the black man?


"Angel: Hell-Bound (#5.4)" (2003)
Gunn: Got it. The dark soul.
Angel: What's it say?
Gunn: A lot. There are over 3,200 different references. Four of them are about you.
Angel: What? Give me that.
Wes: This is getting us nowhere.
Angel: Let me see this. Well, that's not fair. I didn't even have a soul when I did that.

Wes: Angel does have a point. Spike has been unintentionally disapparating more and more frequently.
Gunn: Give him 20 minutes. He'll be popping up next to you in the bathroom, making cracks about your... Am I the only one he does that to?


"Angel: Smile Time (#5.14)" (2004)
[Angel, as a puppet, gets more and more angry while watching "Smile Time"]
Angel: Wes, put the Special Ops team on Red Alert!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Red Alert?
Angel: I want helicopters and tear gas!
Gunn: Angel, we...
Angel: This is WAR!
Lorne the Host: Angel, baby, muppet, pumpkin, um... this show is number one in it's time slot. Tykes love it all across the southland. We can't just toss a Jihad at their studio.
Angel: Ohh, right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This transformation may have altered your stress-response mechanism.
Angel: What?
Gunn: He's saying you have the proportionate excitability of a puppet your size.


"Angel: Darla (#2.7)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: [to Angel about finding Darla] Am I the only one who thinks this is just a really bad idea?
Angel: We can't just sit around here waiting for Wolfram and Hart to make a move. It's time we got ahead of the game.
Cordelia Chase: This won't involve kidnapping again, will it?
Angel: All we're going to do is find her.
Cordelia Chase: And this would be the same woman that you didn't notice was in your bedroom every night for three weeks straight?
Angel: That was different.
Cordelia Chase: Different in the sitting-on-top-of-you sense, yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia has a point.
Cordelia Chase: Finally!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The last time Darla emerged, she wanted to be found. Now, she's out there among six million other people.
Cordelia Chase: She could be sitting on top of anybody!
Angel: Come on, guys. We're a detective agency. We investigate things. That's what we're good at.
Cordelia Chase: That's what we suck at. Let's face it, unless there's a website called "www dot oh by the way, we have Darla stashed here dot com", we're pretty much out of luck.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not going to be easy.
Cordelia Chase: Well, before, he said he could smell her.
[to Angel]
Cordelia Chase: How about, we cruise around with the top down, and you take big, big whiffs?
[there is no reaction]
Cordelia Chase: We'll wait until after the sun sets, obviously.
Charles Gunn: Big law firm. They gotta have housing for their out-of-towners, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "Out-of-towners"? It's not as if they flew her in from Miami. She was raised from the very depths of hell by an ancient and very dangerous ritual.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and...? They still gotta put her up, don't they. That's an expense. You're telling me, these lawyers haven't figured out a way to write that off?

Charles Gunn: Want me to come with you?
Angel: No. This is something I have to do on my own.
[Cordelia brings him his car keys]
Angel: Thanks.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel...
Angel: I know, Wesley. I could be walking into a trap. I get that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not convinced you do.
Angel: Look, she asked for my help. I can't turn my back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. And you shouldn't... Not for one moment. You know better than anyone what she was.
Angel: What we were. And I also know what she's going through. And unlike me, maybe she wont have to go through it alone.
Cordelia Chase: You're not alone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You may be right. She may be experiencing all of this exactly as you did. But, Angel, - you yourself wondered for a hundred years, before ever seeking redemption.
Angel: That's right. I sought her.


"Angel: Lullaby (#3.9)" (2001)
[Darla's in labor]
Charles Gunn: If you ask me, what we could really use right about now is some Vaseline and a catcher's mitt.

Darla: Doesn't anyone wanna sit back here with me?
Cordelia Chase: We're good.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, it's, comfy.
Darla: I promise I won't throw anyone out of the car. Not while it's moving.
Fred: It's not that we don't trust you. I mean, we don't trust you, but, the fact is, your water broke all over the back seat.
Darla: Oh.


"Angel: Billy (#3.6)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: You mean, that, -that finger-painty-looking handprint downstairs, that's Billy's blood? So, you're saying that Wes turned into a psycho killer because of that bloody handprint that I picked up and looked at?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: When you put it that way, it kinda worries me.

Charles Gunn: [playing a video game] Dead! So dead! So very, very dead, just how dead are you, huh?
Angel: I'm tired of being the dead one.


"Angel: Home (#4.22)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: You wanna give us your evil law firm? We ain't lawyers.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Or evil. Currently.

Charles Gunn: Can't help thinkin' it might cut down on the workload some if we got a little help. A few extra employees. Or a turnkey, state-of-the-art, multitasking operation.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't possibly think that's an option.
Charles Gunn: Well, now I know it's an option, 'cause I was standing there when the dead lady offered it to us.


"Angel: Carpe Noctem (#3.4)" (2001)
[first lines]
Charles Gunn: Hey, Fred.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Sorry, did I startle you guys?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No.
Cordelia Chase: Only in the sense of shocking and jolting us. What's up?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [finding out where Angel as Marcus had sex] I don't believe it, on my desk?
Charles Gunn: Well, it did used to be his. Maybe he was just kind of... reclaiming it?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How? By marking it? This isn't like him.
Cordelia Chase: What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Brunette, she was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia Chase: You're right, this isn't like him.


"Angel: Birthday (#3.11)" (2002)
Charles Gunn: C'mon you telling me you never hid anything in your underwear drawer?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I don't know. I mean, for five years I didn't even have... Can we not talk about my underwear, please? And put that down.

Charles Gunn: Hey, is it true that you and Wes were... You know, that you had a little...
Cordelia Chase: Humiliating kiss where he drooled all over my chin? Yeah, but I've worked really hard to repress it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right. Well, as much as I love this forced death march down memory lane...
Charles Gunn: What is it with you Sunnydale folks and repression? I mean, you three are the most denying-est folks I ever met.


"Angel: Dead End (#2.18)" (2001)
Angel: There's only one thing we can do now.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, God. Oh, no!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The karaoke bar.
Charles Gunn: Angel's gonna sing?
Cordelia Chase: Isn't there some other way?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There has to be. Think, damnit!
Angel: Hey! Come on.

[Lindsey is singing]
Cordelia Chase: Wow, h-he's good.
Charles Gunn: Lawyer's got some pipes.
Angel: You think he's good?
Cordelia Chase: Shh!
Angel: What is that? Rock, country, ballad? Pick a style, pal.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Shh!
Lorne: Angelcakes, don't make me ask you to leave.


"Angel: War Zone (#1.20)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: Every body dies. I'm just trying to make sure that when we die, we stay dead.


"Angel: Release (#4.14)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: If he pops a fang in here, thwack him where it hurts.


"Angel: The Magic Bullet (#4.19)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: This close, and she pulled a Houdini.
Connor: What's a Houdini?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She escaped.


"Angel: Ground State (#4.2)" (2002)
Angel: How 'bout the police?
Charles Gunn: Uh, let's see. "Abandoned car. Empty apartment."
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: "No sign of violence. No plans for travel."
Charles Gunn: "Please file a missing persons report."
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: "And have a nice day."
Charles Gunn: But hey, that was only the first time. The next seven times they left off the "nice day" part.


"Angel: Origin (#5.18)" (2004)
Charles Gunn: [speaking to the demon who cuts out the heart of a person who wears the cursed necklace] Come on, Sparky. Let's go. This heart ain't gonna cut itself out.


"Angel: Players (#4.16)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: Two vampires hook up, and for the only time in vamp history have a kid, our boy Connor. Then Connor grows up, knocks it out with Cordelia, a part demon, former higher being, and quick as you can say Easy-Bake Oven, there's a gigantic bun in hers. I don't think we were too harsh.


"Angel: Conviction (#5.1)" (2003)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Don't you think it's a bit unseemly adding Y's to the ends of people's names?
Charles Gunn: Does that mean I have to call you 'Wesle'?


"Angel: Long Day's Journey (#4.9)" (2003)
Angel: Good news is we discovered the Beast's plan.
Gunn: Which is?
Manny: To blot out the sun for all of eternity. You guys got a john?


"Angel: Salvage (#4.13)" (2003)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're going to bring Angelus in alive.
Connor: No, we're not.
Charles Gunn: I thought you said capturing him wasn't an option.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Changed my mind.
Connor: Change it back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We get rid of Angelus, then what? We still have a Beast we don't know how to kill. We know it's working for something much worse, but we don't know what it is. We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom, and we can't get out without our champion. We're gonna save Angel, and I know who we need to help us do it.


"Angel: Damage (#5.11)" (2004)
Charles Gunn: Half the cases that cross our desk are settled out on the links before they ever make it to trial.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Nine holes instead of a jury of your peers. Just what the Founding Fathers had in mind.
Charles Gunn: Well, sometimes you gotta work the system before it works you.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: That our new motto?


"Angel: Shiny Happy People (#4.18)" (2003)
[Gunn and Wesley are thinking of names for "Jasmine"]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Clorox.
Charles Gunn: [contemplating] Clorox. She bleaches away the hate.
[shakes his head]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Probably best we avoid brand names.
Charles Gunn: Uh-huh.


"Angel: The Price (#3.19)" (2002)
[a creature like a transparent scorpion slithers from a corpse and makes a dash across the Hyperion lobby floor. Cordelia screams and pulls herself up onto the counter desk]
Charles Gunn: Okay. That was a thing.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: A big, ugly slug thing!
Cordelia Chase: [panicky] Ooh! Where did it go?
The Groosalugg: [fiercely] It has vanished. Just like the glass eels in the Krag Swamp in UxenBlarg.
[off their looks]
The Groosalugg: I'm just making an observation.


"Angel: Peace Out (#4.21)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: Never give up. Never surrender.


"Angel: Are You Now or Have You Ever Been (#2.2)" (2000)
Cordelia: I for one will be glad to see the last of this place. It gives me the heebee geebees.
Charles Gunn: Plus it's kind of got an odor to it. You notice that?


"Angel: Calvary (#4.12)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: Now, instead of just worryin' about big bad rock-eater, we got Darth Vampire livin' in the basement.


"Angel: Apocalypse, Nowish (#4.7)" (2002)
Lorne: Come on. I'll hang my head out the window, see if I can pick up the Burkle vibe.
Charles Gunn: You can do that?
Lorne: No. But it sounds comforting and I could use the air.


"Angel: You're Welcome (#5.12)" (2004)
Cordelia: Oh, my God. Gunn? You have hair.
Charles Gunn: Oh. Heh! Yeah. What'd you think, I was prematurely bald?
[an awkward pause]
Charles Gunn: I wasn't.


"Angel: Awakening (#4.10)" (2003)
[Angel has reluctantly agreed to release Angelus]
Angel: We're gonna need a cage.
Lorne: Cage?
Angel: A strong one. About ten by twelve, steel-reinforced. Two inch bars, maybe three. I'll make some calls.
Charles Gunn: What, he thinks something like that's going to hold the Beast?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not for the Beast. It's for him.


"Angel: A New World (#3.20)" (2002)
Charles Gunn: Couple weeks ago, he was wearin' diapers. Now he's a teenager?
Cordelia Chase: Tell me we don't live in a soap opera.


"Angel: Double or Nothing (#3.18)" (2002)
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Who'd you trade your soul for?
Charles Gunn: It was a long time ago.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I know. But I want you to tell me and we'll never talk about it again. Who was she?
Charles Gunn: That was way before I met you.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: You must of wanted her pretty bad to trade your soul.
Charles Gunn: Guess I did...
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Just tell me.
Charles Gunn: You'll think it's stupid.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: No I won't.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It was a truck. I was 17 years old and I sold my soul for a truck.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not this truck?
Charles Gunn: Don't go dissin my girl.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Oh, Charles. Your soul wasn't worth air conditioning?