No Photo Available
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Principal Snyder (Character)
from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: School Hard (#2.3)" (1997)
[Principal Snyder and the Police Chief are surveying the school after the vampire attack]
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: I need to say something to the media people.
Principal Snyder: So?
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: So, you want the usual story? Gang-related... PCP?
Principal Snyder: What'd you have in mind? The truth?
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: Right. Gang-related... PCP.

[first lines]
Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, "Think of your principal as your pal." I say, "Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner." Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school? Well, it is quite a match between you two. On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel.
Sheila Martini: I didn't stab no one with a trowel. They were pruning shears.
Principal Snyder: On the other hand, Sheila has never burnt down a school building.
Buffy Summers: Well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said it coulda been mice.
Principal Snyder: Mice.
Buffy Summers: Mice that were smoking?
Principal Snyder: The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight-starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting.
Sheila Martini: [smirking] What does the winner get?
Principal Snyder: Expelled.

Principal Snyder: [at Parent-Teacher night] Was that your mother?
Buffy Summers: Here.
[She fakes a spill of handing a lemonade cup to him]
Buffy Summers: Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English.

[Trapped by vampires in a school room]
Buffy Summers: You can't go outside. They'll kill you.
Principal Snyder: You don't tell me! I tell *you*!
Buffy Summers: They will kill everybody in this room. Nobody goes out, nobody comes in until I say so. Do you hear me?
Principal Snyder: Who do you think you are?
Buffy Summers: I'm the one that knows how to stop them.

Parent: I'm not waiting for them to open the doors. I'm getting out.
Joyce Summers: Don't be an idiot.
Principal Snyder: I'm beginning to see a certain mother/daughter resemblance.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Puppet Show (#1.9)" (1997)
Principal Snyder: Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days - discipline. I know Principal Flutie would have said, "Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings." That's the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.
Giles: I- I think perhaps it was a little more complex than, um...

Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed, and also smoking.

Principal Snyder: My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now, and Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

Principal Snyder: I don't get it. What is it? Avant-garde?


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Band Candy (#3.6)" (1998)
[all the adults are acting like teenagers]
Buffy: Principal Snyder?
Principal Snyder: Call me Snyder. Just a last name, like... Barbarino.

Principal Snyder: You will sell it to raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms.
Xander Harris: Yeah, those tall, fuzzy hats ain't cheap, huh?
Oz: But they go with everything.

Principal Snyder: Summers, you drive like a spaz!


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Choices (#3.19)" (1999)
Principal Snyder: Okay, what's in the bag?
Student: My lunch.
Principal Snyder: Is that, the new drug lingo?
Student: No, it's my lunch.

Principal Snyder: You... All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Restless (#4.22)" (2000)
Principal Snyder: I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there, waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers, like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.
Xander Harris: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

Principal Snyder: [Xander's dreaming he is in Apocalypse Now] Are you a soldier?
Xander Harris: I'm a comfortador.
Principal Snyder: You're neither. You're a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.
Xander Harris: I'm getting a cramp.
[stands up]


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I Only Have Eyes for You (#2.19)" (1998)
[Snyder and the police chief survey the school after a massive snake attack]
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: Schoolboy pranks?
Principal Snyder: Never sell.
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: The sewer got backed up?
Principal Snyder: Better, I can probably make that one fly. But this is getting out of hand. People will talk.
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: You'll take care of it.
Principal Snyder: I'm doing everything I can. But you people have to realize...
Passerby: Snyder, what's going on here?
Principal Snyder: [to passerby] Backed-up sewer line. Same thing happened in San Diego just last week.
[the passerby leaves and Sndyer turns back to the police chief]
Principal Snyder: We're on a Hellmouth. Sooner or later, people are gonna figure that out.
Bob, Sunnydale Chief of Police: The city council was told that you could handle this job. If you feel that you can't, perhaps you'd like to take that up with the Mayor.
Principal Snyder: [suddenly frightened] I'll handle it. I will.

Principal Snyder: I'm sure you know why I asked you here.
Buffy: To thank me?
Principal Snyder: That's right. I wanna thank you. What would Sunnydale High do without you around to incite mayhem, chaos and disorder?
Buffy: I don't incite! I stopped that boy from killing his girlfriend. Ask him. Ask the janitor.
Principal Snyder: People can be coerced, Summers. I'm no stranger to conspiracy. I saw JFK. I'm a truth seeker. I've got a missing gun and two confused kids on my hands; pieces of the puzzle. And I'm gonna look at all the pieces carefully and rationally, and I'm gonna keep looking until I know exactly how this is all your fault.
Intercom: [interrupts] Mr. Snyder, Billy Crandle chained himself to the snack machine, again.
Principal Snyder: Pathetic little no-life vegan.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Becoming: Part 2 (#2.22)" (1998)
Buffy: You know I didn't do it. The police will figure it out.
Principal Snyder: In case you haven't noticed, the police of Sunnydale are deeply stupid. It doesn't matter anyway. Whatever they find, you've proved too much of a liability for this school. These are the moments you wanna savor. You wish time would stop so that you can live them over and over again. You're expelled.
Buffy: [draws a sword] You never ever got a single date in high school, did you?
Principal Snyder: Your point being?
[Buffy silently exits, and then Principal Snyder makes a call]
Principal Snyder: [into the phone] It's Snyder. Tell the Mayor I have good news. It's about the girl... Buffy.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: What's My Line?: Part 1 (#2.9)" (1997)
Xander: For what it's worth...
Principal Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.
Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in a position to be that honest with you.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: When She Was Bad (#2.1)" (1997)
Principal Snyder: There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No, actually, that would be one of the five.
Principal Snyder: That Summers girl, I smell trouble. I smell expulsion and just the faintest aroma of jail.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Becoming: Part 1 (#2.21)" (1998)
Principal Snyder: This isn't an orgy, people, it's a classroom.
Buffy: Yeah, where they teach lunch.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Dead Man's Party (#3.2)" (1998)
Principal Snyder: I have not only the right, but also a nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the thought of keeping her out of school. I'd describe myself as tingly.
Joyce Summers: Buffy was cleared of all those charges
Principal Snyder: Yes, and while she may live up to the not-a-murderer requirement for enrollment, she is a troublemaker, destructive to school property and the occasional student. And her grade point average is enough to... I'm sorry. Another tingle moment.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Graduation Day: Part 2 (#3.22)" (1999)
[introduction to graduation]
Principal Snyder: Congratulations to the class of 1999. You all proved more or less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet.