Allen Doyle
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Quotes for
Allen Doyle (Character)
from "Angel" (1999)

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"Angel: Rm w/a Vu (#1.5)" (1999)
Allen Francis Doyle: If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place, maybe give me a call.
Cordelia: Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait... they really haven't.

Cordelia: [looking at her new place] Oh, my gosh. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
Allen Francis Doyle: [looking at her] No, never.

Cordelia: First thing, I hire someone to take out that wall.
Allen Francis Doyle: I thought you said it was perfect?
Cordelia: Yes. And part of it being perfect is there being one *tiny* flaw for me to fix.
Allen Francis Doyle: Ah, must be why you find me so fascinating.

Allen Francis Doyle: Come on, you know I was crazy about her, and I was wearin' her down, too. But no, handsome, brooding, vampire guy has to swoop in, all sensitive mouth and overhangin' forehead. How 'bout leaving some scraps for the homely-looking fellas who don't turn evil when they get some?

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Cordelia] She's really something, isn't she? It's like wrestlin' a tiger just to get to know her.

Allen Francis Doyle: It's all about money! What about friendship and family and all those things that are priceless like they say in that credit card commercial?

Cordelia: Your cousin called with one of those names from your part of England.
Allen Francis Doyle: My part of *England*?

Allen Francis Doyle: [answering the phone] Angel investigations. We... hope you're helpless.

Allen Francis Doyle: [trying to do a spell] Aww, man. Latin! One of those dead languages you always mean to learn.

Allen Francis Doyle: [about his life story] Quite a tale it is, too. Full of ribald adventures and beautiful damsels with loose morals...

Allen Francis Doyle: The past... don't let go does she?
Angel: Hmm, she never does.

Allen Francis Doyle: [the ghost is writing in blood on Cordelia's wall] Cordy, it says 'die'!
Cordelia: Hey, maybe it's not done. Maybe it's 'diet'. That's friendly. A little judgmental, sure.

Cordelia: I've had it with these cheap trash bags! They leak and break and end up costing us more!
[Drops bag in front of Doyle]
Allen Francis Doyle: I believe it.
Cordelia: Yeah, It was a great audition! I was all about things leaking. How could they not pick me?
Allen Francis Doyle: They don't know what they missed.
Cordelia: They gave it to a blonde that showed up in a skintight leather cat suit. She is supposed to be a housewife! She looked ridiculous. She looked like cat-woman taking out the cat-trash.

Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you high school diploma is all burned.
Cordelia: Yeah, it was a rough ceremony.

"Angel: City of... (#1.1)" (1999)
Allen Francis Doyle: I've been sent by the powers that be.
Angel: The powers that be what?

Allen Francis Doyle: Once upon a time, there was a vampire. And he was the meanest vampire in all the land. I mean, other vampires were afraid of him he was such a... bastard. Then, one day, he's cursed by gypsies. They restore his human soul. And, all of a sudden, he's mad with guilt. You know, "What have I done! Oh!" He's freaked.
Angel: Uh. Okay, now I'm sleepy.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, well, it's a fairly dull tale. It needs a little sex is my feelin'. So, sure enough, enter the girl; pretty little blonde thing, Vampire Slayer by trade. And our vampire falls madly in love with her. But eventually, the two of them, well, they-they get fleshy with one another. And the moment he- Well, I guess the technical term is "perfect happiness". But when our boy gets there, he goes bad again, he kills again. It's ugly. So, when he gets his soul back for the second time, he figures, hey, he can't be anywhere near Miss Puppy Thighs without endangering them both. So, what does he do? He takes off, goes to L.A. to fight evil and atone for his crimes. He's a shadow. A faceless champion of the human race.

Allen Francis Doyle: When was the last time you drank blood?
Angel: Buffy.
Allen Francis Doyle: Left you with a bit of craving, didn't it? Let me tell you something, pal, that craving's gonna grow. And one day soon, one of those helpless victims that you don't really care about is gonna look way too appetizing to turn down. And you'll figure, "Hey, what's one against all I've saved? Might as well eat them. Still ahead by the numbers".

Allen Francis Doyle: Well, I like the place. Not much with the view, but it's got a nice Batcave sort of an air to it.

Allen Francis Doyle: I get visions. Which is to say, great splitting migraines that come with pictures. A name, a face. I don't know who sends them. I just know whoever sends them is more powerful than me or you and they're just trying to make things right.

Allen Francis Doyle: It's not all about fightin' and gadgets and such. It's about reachin' out to people. Showin' them that there's love and hope still left in this world.
Homeless Woman: Hey, spare change?
Allen Francis Doyle: Get a job, you lazy sow.

Allen Francis Doyle: [when Angel is gathering his stuff before going to Russell's place] Wow, you're really going to war, here. Guess you've, uh, guess you've seen a few in you time, yeah?
Angel: 14, not including Vietnam. They never declared it.

Angel: You don't smell human.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, that's a bit rude. As it happens, I'm very much human.
[he sneezes, his demon face emerges, he shakes it off]
Allen Francis Doyle: On my mother's side.

Allen Francis Doyle: It's not just saving lives, it's saving souls.

Allen Francis Doyle: High school's over, bud. You gotta make with the grown-up talk, now.

Angel: Why would a woman I've never met even talk to me?
Allen Francis Doyle: Have you looked in the mirror lately? No, I guess you really haven't, no.

Angel: I don't wanna share my feelings. I don't wanna open up. I wanna find the guy that killed Tina, and I wanna look him in the eye.
Allen Francis Doyle: Then what?
Angel: Then I'm gonna share my feelings.

[about Cordelia]
Allen Francis Doyle: She'll provide a connection to the world. She's got a very... humanizing influence.
Angel: You think she's a hottie.
Allen Francis Doyle: Ah, yeah. She's a stiffener, all right. I can't lie about that.

Allen Francis Doyle: You know, there's a lot of people in this city need helpin'.
Angel: So I noticed.
Allen Francis Doyle: You game?
Angel: I'm game.

"Angel: Hero (#1.9)" (1999)
Allen Francis Doyle: [reading a cue-card] Our rats are low...
Cordelia: [impatient] Rates!
Allen Francis Doyle: It says rats.

Allen Francis Doyle: When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here - someone who'll go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope. Come on over to our offices and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world.

[last lines]
Allen Francis Doyle: Is that it? Am I done?

Allen Francis Doyle: There's got to be another way.
Angel: It's all right.
Cordelia: No!
Allen Francis Doyle: The good fight, yeah? You never know until you've been tested. I get that now.
[Doyle punches Angel off of the balcony and turns to kiss Cordelia]
Allen Francis Doyle: Too bad we'll never know...
[changes to his demon face]
Allen Francis Doyle: ...if this is a face you could learn to love.
Angel: Doyle. Doyle. Doyle! Doyle! No!
[Doyle jumps onto machine]
Angel: [shouting] Doyle! No!
Allen Francis Doyle: AAGGGHHHHH!
[burns up from the machine and dies]

Cordelia: Would it kill him to put on some tights and a cape and garner us a little free publicity?
Allen Francis Doyle: I don't see Angel puttin' on tights... Oh, now I do and it's really disturbin'.

Allen Francis Doyle: One of us has been drinkin', and I'm sad to say it isn't me.

Angel: I feel something coming, Doyle, I don't know what. But I know we're a part of it.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, if it's a fight they want... can't someone else give it to 'em? Just seems unfair, you know? You gotta save all the helpless-types around here, and now you gotta fight the Apocalypse as well?
Angel: It's all the same thing. Fight the good fight, whichever way you can.
Allen Francis Doyle: Tell you what, you fight, and I'll keep score.

Cordelia: Angel started the day over knowing he'd remember everything that happened?
Allen Francis Doyle: It's pretty amazing, huh?
Cordelia: Amazing he didn't check the stock quotes or the lotto numbers!

Allen Francis Doyle: The idea of sudden family obligations with guys who looked like big, blue pin-cushions... it was just a little bit too much to take right then.

Allen Francis Doyle: Cordy, oppressed demon people, here. Not getting' any safer.

Cordelia: Why didn't you tell me you were half-demon? I thought we agreed that secrets are bad.
Allen Francis Doyle: I wanted to tell you. I was afraid. Thought if I did, you'd reject me.
Cordelia: I've rejected you way before now. So you're half-demon - big whoop! I can't believe you think I'd care about that. I mean, I work for a vampire, hello?

Cordelia: I mean, you're half-demon. That is so far down the list. Way under short, and... poor. Is there anything else I should know?
Allen Francis Doyle: The half-demon thing, pretty much my big secret.
Cordelia: Good. That's out. It's done. Would you ask me out for dinner already?
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah?

Allen Francis Doyle: Human? You were a real live flesh-and-blood human being and you and Buffy- You had the one thing you wanted in your unnaturally long life... and give it back?
Angel: Maybe I was wrong
Allen Francis Doyle: Or maybe Cordelia was right, about you being the real deal in the hero department. See, I would have chosen the pleasures of the flesh over duty and honor any day of the week. I just don't have that strength
Angel: You never know your strength till you're tested

"Angel: The Bachelor Party (#1.7)" (1999)
Cordelia: I was thinking that, uh, maybe I haven't been entirely fair to you. Maybe you don't actually have *zero* potential.
Allen Francis Doyle: Wow, Cordelia. Thanks.

Cordelia: Hi, Doyle. Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cuz, you know, we already have one of those around the office.
Angel: Hey.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey.
Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and-and look at the way clothes hang on him. But you...
Angel: O-Okay. I think you've cheered us up enough.

Cordelia: You'll get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
Allen Francis Doyle: You think I'm a nice guy?
Cordelia: I think it, I say it. It's my way.

[Doyle saved Cordelia from a vampire]
Cordelia: You were so... brave.
Allen Francis Doyle: You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're steppin' on my moment of manliness here.
Cordelia: I'm sorry, I'm just, uh...
Allen Francis Doyle: Surprised?
Cordelia: Grateful.

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Cordelia] She's not going to fall for my ample but unpretentious charms, is she?
Angel: Unless by some unpretentious means you don't like to brag about your family's old money.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, the only money in my family is underneath the couch cushions. Not to mention the fact that half of them are demons.

[after one of Doyle's visions]
Allen Francis Doyle: There's a young guy.
Angel: Where?
Allen Francis Doyle: Vampires have a nest downtown. Poor kid's gonna be the entrée.
Angel: Let's go. Come on.
Allen Francis Doyle: Everybody's got dinner plans but us.

Allen Francis Doyle: You're marryin' that guy?
Harriett 'Harry' Doyle: I know, it's wild, huh? I'm definitely the yin to his yang, but it works. He's got a good heart, Francis, just like you.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, maybe, but the container? Can I get a side of bland with that bland?

Allen Francis Doyle: He's a demon? And she's all signed on to be Mrs. Demon? Tell me again how ugly he is.

Allen Francis Doyle: So that's it then? That's your exciting plan for this evening? A book?
Angel: I get enough excitement.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah - of the evil-fighting variety. How about a little off-duty fun?
Angel: Such as?
Allen Francis Doyle: Two beautiful words: Sports Bar!
[Angel gives him a look]
Allen Francis Doyle: Come on! You know they have Trivia games on the Internet now? You can challenge against drunks around the world. Anything, please! I just can't sit around here while...
Cordelia: [Coming in] While I steal into the night with my incredibly-more-wealthy-then-you prince?

Angel: [Reading from a book] Here it is - Ano-movic. Once a nomadic tribe. At one time they did have violent leanings...
Allen Francis Doyle: There! I knew this nice guy routine was just an act. He's working a spell on her. She gonna sprout hubcaps from her head or something.
Angel: But they gave up those orthodox teachings, - language, - around the turn of the century.
[closes the book and puts it down]
Angel: Now they own a number of restaurants with pretty expensive windows.

Richard Straley: You're not trying to back out, are you? Not after you gave your blessing.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, yeah. I take it back!
Richard Straley: [Upset] Oh. - Well. - I see. - Now I'm not so sure I even *want* to eat your brains!
Rick: Don't be petulant, Richard. You'll eat his brains. He can't take back a blessing. Now, apologize to your friend.
Richard Straley: He's right. That was rude. I'd be honored to eat your brains.

Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, this Richard, you know, he looks like he'd give her a good life.
Angel: Yeah
Allen Francis Doyle: Seems like a nice - friendly fellow, don't you think?
Angel: Definitely friendly, - only - he seemed a bit...
Allen Francis Doyle: [Jumps up] Exactly! I knew he was no good! And even though we're ex, I mean, it's still my duty to watch over her, right? But I can't go trailing after her intended myself. I mean, it just wouldn't look right. Angel, you think you would...?
Angel: Yeah. Just don't tell Cordelia. - She'll wanna charge you.

Allen Francis Doyle: Look, Richard as much as I like your family, and they're great, - honest, - I'd really prefer if they *didn't* cannibalize me.
Richard Straley: Oh, no! You misunderstand.
Allen Francis Doyle: [Hopeful] I do?
Richard Straley: Yeah. It'll just be me.
Allen Francis Doyle: Why don't I just give you that hug and we can call it even?

"Angel: Lonely Heart (#1.2)" (1999)
Cordelia: What's with those vision things of yours?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, they're messages I get, you know, from the higher powers, whoever they are. You know, it's my gift.
Cordelia: If that was my gift, I'd return it.

Cordelia: Demons. Is there anything more disgusting?
Allen Francis Doyle: You think so?
Cordelia: Come on. Okay, look at this one. This demon wears a wreath of intestines around its head. I mean, honestly, what kind of statement is this thing trying to make?

Allen Francis Doyle: Tell her what a great guy I am.
Angel: I barely know you.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well perfect, that should make it easier for you then.

Allen Francis Doyle: This isn't a marketing seminar, princess. You know, we need to operate a little bit more below radar.
Cordelia: What radar?
Allen Francis Doyle: The police. You know the service our friend Angel provides might put someone in mind of the "V" word.
Cordelia: Vampire?
Allen Francis Doyle: No, vigilante.

Allen Francis Doyle: You need to chat people up a little bit more casual-like, you know? "Hi, what's your name? How's life treatin' ya? Wh-What's that, you say? Minions from hell getting' you down?"
Cordelia: Excuse me, but I am an actress, a student of the human animal. I don't have to talk to people to know their story. Jazz Hands, over there? Mama's boy, Peter Pan complex. Self-absorbed closet dyke with a big The World Owes Me chip on her shoulder. And check out Sarah, Plain and Tall. Has or comes from big money.
Allen Francis Doyle: How do you know all that?
Cordelia: Well, you've gotta be rich to snag the Calvin Klein model she's leaving with.

Allen Francis Doyle: Everyone just simmer down here, okay? Violence is not gonna solve a thing, alright?
[head butts the guy]
Allen Francis Doyle: On the other hand, it's kind of festive.

Angel: This socializing thing is brutal. I mean, I was young, once. I used to go to bars. It was never like this.
Allen Francis Doyle: Nah, you used to go to taverns, man. Small towns, everybody used to know each other.
Cordelia: Yeah, like high school. It's easy to date there. I mean, we all had so much in common. Being monster food every other week, for instance.

Angel: [to Doyle] Where'd you pick up computer skills?
Cordelia: Downloading pictures of naked women?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, that's more or less accurate.

Cordelia: It's a parasite, moves from body to body, and when it starts to leave one for the next, not gonna gag here, but the first one goes kerplooey pretty fast.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yep. Curdles like cream on a hot day.
Cordelia: I believe I covered that with non-dairy "kerplooey"?

[First lines]
[Angel is, characteristically, moping in the dark in his office when Doyle comes in]
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you know, maybe we should go over this thing again of you getting out in the world and involving yourself with people. It's Friday night. It's the most social night of the week! A couple of lookers like us should be out there enjoying the nightlife. Not sitting here in the dark like some kind of...
Angel: ...some kind of vampire?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, yeah. I was going to say slacker, but, yeah, to you, Mr. Obvious. You got to come out, man!
Angel: Why?
Allen Francis Doyle: Because we deserve a night of fun, don't you think? I mean, it breaks up those nights of death and mayhem. Plus, we could toast the new business, you know, the three of us.
[He whistles and tilts his head towards the outer office]
Angel: Yeah, Doyle, if you want to ask Cordelia out, just do it yourself.
Allen Francis Doyle: I don't even know if she likes me, man - unless you put a word in for me - you know, just tell her what a great guy I am!
Angel: I barely know you.
Allen Francis Doyle: Perfect. That should make it easier for you, then.

Angel: I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, - you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation I was thinking, - the night being, you know, young and all - that the three of us - could - well, should, - You know, maybe, - go out, - you know,
[awkward pause]
Angel: ... for fun.
Cordelia: Or we can go home.
Allen Francis Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
Angel: [breathing a sigh of relief] God, yes! Thank you.

Allen Francis Doyle: Great idea! Calling cards. It's not like you have a signal folks can shine in the sky when ever they need help, you know?
Angel: [Angel takes a card] Hey, look at that, there is our number. It's right next to a... a um - a - a butterfly?
Allen Francis Doyle: [Looks a Cordy's face then back down at the card he is holding] It's obviously not a butterfly, you idiot. It's a - a bird. No, no, wait, it's an owl. A - a bird that hunts at night. Brilliant! It's a- a...
Cordelia: [Interrupting angrily] It's an angel!

"Angel: In the Dark (#1.3)" (1999)
Allen Francis Doyle: All I'm saying is, if you and I ever hope to take that cruise to the Bahamas together, we're gonna need a lot more clients with means.
Cordelia: And an alternate reality in which you're Matthew McConaughey.

Angel: Oz.
Oz: Angel.
Angel: Nice surprise.
Oz: Thanks.
Angel: Staying long?
Oz: Few days.
[long pause]
Allen Francis Doyle: [to Cordelia] They always like this?
Oz: No, we're usually laconic.

Allen Francis Doyle: [after Angel receives the Gem Of Amara, a ring that allows the wearer to become unkillable] Why don't you put it on and, here, I'll stake ya. It'll be fun!
Angel: Maybe later.
Allen Francis Doyle: What, are you out of your mind?
Angel: I said, maybe later.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah...
Angel: Doyle!

Cordelia: [Waving invoice] Why are you not rejoicing at our first paying client?
Allen Francis Doyle: 'Cause that's not money in your hand, darlin', that's mail. There's a big difference between that and actually getting paid.

Allen Francis Doyle: Think of it, man, poolside tanning, bargain matinees, plus, there are several strip clubs I know of that have a fabulous luncheon buffet that's really quite tasty. It's - I've heard.

Cordelia: I couldn't get comfortable here if the floor was lined with mink. I mean, how can you live like this?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, I didn't until last week. Then I saw what you did with your place. I just had to call my decorator.
Cordelia: No way! My apartment is nowhere near this yucky! It smells like bong-water in here.

Allen Francis Doyle: I betcha he's hangin' 10 off the sandy shores of Malibu right about now. Wind in his hair, bikini babes a-whistlin'.

Angel: I don't know about you, but I had a nice day. You know, except for the bulk of it where I was nearly tortured to death.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you stood up.
Angel: Oh, God. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, on more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, everything.
Angel: How is your mom?

Allen Francis Doyle: So what, you don't get the ring because your period of self-flagellation isn't over yet? I mean, think of all the daytime people you can help between 9 and 5.
Angel: They have help. The whole world is designed for them. So much so that they have no idea what goes on around them after dark. They don't see the weak ones lost in the night. And the things that prey on them. And if I joined them, maybe I'd stop seeing too.

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Angel] He's the detective.
Oz: Does he have a hat and gun?
Cordelia: Just fangs.
Oz: Well, that works.

Angel: [to Oz, after saving the ring] Thanks for the help, man. You were key.
Oz: You're - - incredibly pale.
Cordelia: Look, you should lie down. We should take you home.
Allen Francis Doyle: Just give him a minute
[Angel stares at the sunlight beach in wonder]
Oz: [to Doyle and Cordy] He's very pale. Paler than most people.

"Angel: I Fall to Pieces (#1.4)" (1999)
Cordelia: What did you put in her tea?
Allen Francis Doyle: Enough whiskey to drop my Aunt Judy. That woman had some girth.
Cordelia: What's the point?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, it tastes good, and it relaxes ya.
Cordelia: No, I mean of ever going out with anyone.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, people need people. And people who need people... are the luckiest p...
Cordelia: Either you like them, and they don't like you. Or you can't stand them, which just guarantees that they're gonnahover around and never go away.
Allen Francis Doyle: I-I hate guys like that.

Cordelia: I know Angel's been working day and night to help people fight their personal demons. But *I* need a raise.
Allen Francis Doyle: A raise? You've been working for him for, what, 20 minutes?
Cordelia: A month. And I have needs.
Allen Francis Doyle: Needs?
Cordelia: A person... needs... certain... designer... things.
Allen Francis Doyle: Personally, I don't think you need much in the way of clothes.

Cordelia: We need more of these.
Allen Francis Doyle: Eh, we'll have more soon enough.
Cordelia: Well, we need them now. Have a vision.
Allen Francis Doyle: I just can't perform on demand.
Cordelia: We need the clients. Have a vision.
Allen Francis Doyle: That money's corrupted you.
Cordelia: If I hit you in the head, would you have a vision?
Allen Francis Doyle: Get away from me. You're insane.

Cordelia: See? You can save the damsel *and* make decent money. Is this a great country, or what?
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, let's march down to the bank right now and deposit this beauty.
Angel: You guys go on. I think I'll stay here and *not* burst into flames.
Allen Francis Doyle: Oh, right, you're pretty much the night-deposit guy.

Allen Francis Doyle: He likes playin' the hero. Walkin' off into the dark, his long coat flowin' behind him in that mysterious and attractive way.
Cordelia: Is this a private moment? 'Cause, I could leave you alone.
Allen Francis Doyle: No, I'm not sayin' I'm attracted...

Melissa: Oh, no. I like it. As long as you're not bored.
Allen Francis Doyle: No, no, no, I'm good. I have a word jumble right here. That should keep me occupied, sadly, for most of the day.

Allen Francis Doyle: Protecting young women such as yourself? Oh, yeah, there's been, ah, four. And three of them are very much alive.

[Talking about the doctor]
Angel: He's coming undone.
Allen Francis Doyle: I'll say.
Angel: No, I mean, he's out of control.

Melissa: You guy's have been very kind, listening to me.
[takes a sip of coffee]
Melissa: It's terrible.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, we're going to take care of that.
Melissa: No, I mean the coffee.

Allen Francis Doyle: [about the Doctor] So we can put him behind bars - for about 90 seconds, until he skitters through 'em.
[shakes his head]
Allen Francis Doyle: Not a lot of things that make me shudder, but this guy - crawling around under the covers. - At least it was just his hands down there. Wish I hadn't even thought that.

"Angel: Sense and Sensitivity (#1.6)" (1999)
[Cordelia clears her throat conspicuously]
Angel: What?
Cordelia: Nothing. I just find it endlessly fascinating how your instincts are so highly attuned when it comes to boring old evil, but you have yet to make any mention of these new shoes.
Angel: Look, Cordelia. Women's shoes... men... they just don't...
[Doyle enters]
Allen Francis Doyle: Great shoes. New?

Cordelia: [covered in slime and annoyed with Angel] You do remember leaving us in a sewer with a giant calamari?
Angel: Yeah, and you're both here so I assume it went okay, right?
Cordelia: Yeah, it went okay, of course it went okay... *okay* - that's not the point!
Angel: So there is a point?
Cordelia: Being that it is possible to brood and show a little interest in the feelings of others.
Angel: [looks at Doyle, shakes head and sighs]
Allen Francis Doyle: Oh, she thinks you're insensitive and, not to bring up the irony but, heh, consider the source!

Detective Kate Lockley: Where is the truth? He's hiding behind Mr. Humor. Look at - look at Doyle, really look at him. What do you see?
Cordelia: A bad double-poly blend?
Detective Kate Lockley: That's defense, Cordelia. Maybe you should try to open your heart to a new possibility.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you know, she's startin' to make some sen...

Cordelia: What's her deal? Too much...?
Allen Francis Doyle: Thumb sucking?
Cordelia: Alcohol!

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Angel] I think he appreciates us - in his own - unappreciative way.
Cordelia: You want to know what I think? I think he *uses* his tortured creature of the night status as a license to be rude and insensitive!
[a tentacle wraps itself around Doyle's neck choking him Cordy never notices as she begins to slice up the monster]
Cordelia: Sure, he is polite to the helpless and the downtrodden, but he ignores the people that are the closest to him. The people that matter the most, you know?
[Doyle is still being choked]
Cordelia: Can you say clueless?

Cordelia: [to Angel, after he starts acting "sensitive"] Hey! What's your damage?
Allen Francis Doyle: I think he's just found Mr. Sensitivity.
Angel: [Angel puts a hand on his heart] He was right in here all the time, just waiting to come out. - Gosh, what our folks do to us, huh?

Allen Francis Doyle: Angel, man, you've got to snap out of this!
Cordelia: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy - grr! - Kate needs you.
Angel: [Shakes his head] I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordelia: We won't judge you,
[to Doyle]
Cordelia: will we?
[to Angel]
Cordelia: give it a try.
Angel: [Shakes his head again] Closeness is too important to me right now.

Cordelia: The whole place is going nuts! This is so not good.
Angel: Okay, I think someone needs a hug.
Cordelia, Allen Francis Doyle: Huh?
Cordelia: [Angel pulls them both into a hug] Ack, eww? Eww!

"Angel: I Will Remember You (#1.8)" (1999)
Cordelia: Batten down the hatches. Here comes Hurricane Buffy.
Allen Francis Doyle: You think? Maybe he's over her.
Cordelia: You have so much to learn, little Irish man.

Angel: The Gateway for Lost Souls... is under the post office?
Allen Francis Doyle: Eh, it makes sense, you think about it.

Cordelia: This plant was thriving just this morning. Now look at it. I'm telling you, where she leads, dark forces follow.
Allen Francis Doyle: Buffy gave it mites?
Cordelia: How else do you explain it?
Allen Francis Doyle: Jealousy?
Cordelia: I'm jealous of her? Oh, please.
Allen Francis Doyle: It's just a theory.

Cordelia: That's our little Buffy.
Allen Francis Doyle: She seemed a little...
Cordelia: Bulgarian in that outfit?

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Buffy] Don't you wanna wake the girl?
Angel: Not for the world.

Allen Francis Doyle: I'll finally be free to go out and make me own mark in the world.
Cordelia: We had a cat that used to do that. Oh, God! What am I gonna do? I'm good for exactly two things: international superstardom, or helping a vampire with a soul to rid the world of evil. That makes for a short but colorful résumé.

Allen Francis Doyle: [Buffy is talking to Angel] Where we going?
Cordelia: Oh, they'll be into this for a while. We still have time for a cappuccino and probably the director's cut of the "Titanic".