Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
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Quotes for
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (Character)
from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Angel: Redefinition (#2.11)" (2001)
[first lines]
Cordelia Chase: What just happened? Can someone explain to me what just happened here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I believe we were fired.
Charles Gunn: Canned.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let go.
Charles Gunn: Axed.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Shown the door.
Charles Gunn: Booted.
Cordelia Chase: Alright! I get it! But what just happened? Fired! Angel fired us?

Virginia Bryce: You've gotta be kidding me. He fired you? He can't fire you. You're on a mission to protect the innocent. You can't fire someone on a mission. What did he say, exactly?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "You're fired".
Virginia Bryce: Oh. Well, can you file a grievance with the union?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Bloody Mary, please.
Barkeeper: You want real blood with that?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, no. Bloodless, thanks.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Come to find your destiny, have you?
[Cordelia nods]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And who was gonna help you with that?
Cordelia Chase: Shania Twain or Madonna. I hadn't decided.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We came, we sang, we
[gags]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: fought the urge to regurgitate...

Virginia Bryce: You know what it is? He's jealous.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Your father?
Virginia Bryce: No, Angel! You had to impersonate him to rescue me, and you were too good an Angel!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: ...I don't think so

Virginia Bryce: Well, his loss is the world's gain. You'll get another job
[snaps fingers]
Virginia Bryce: just like that! What else can you do?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [thinks long and hard] Not much.

Cordelia Chase: Wesley!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia! How... odd to see you.
Cordelia Chase: What are you doing here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Me? Oh, I just came in for a drink.
Cordelia Chase: Ah, because only demon karaoke bars have those. You were gonna sing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sing? Oh, dear Lord, no. No. I merely... What are you doing here?
Cordelia Chase: Oh! Ah, well... I was umm in the neighborhood.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You live fifteen miles away.
Cordelia Chase: Well, you know L.A. It's all one really big neighborhood.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I see.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So, I'll assume it's not Madonna. But what song were you gonna sing?
Charles Gunn: You wouldn't know it.
Cordelia Chase: Well, I, for one, would just like to point out the patheticness that is us. This is all Angel's fault. Hope he's happy now. All alone in his demon world with no one to talk to.

Cordelia Chase: You see, that's what I'm saying. If Wesley hadn't been all shaking his finger...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, no, no.
Cordelia Chase: And, no, no, no, this whole Darla thing woulda have just... you know blown over.
Charles Gunn: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Blown over? Angel is obsessed with Darla. Obsessions don't just blow over.
Charles Gunn: Right.
Cordelia Chase: Well, you certainly didn't help by making him feel guilty about it. You shamed him into firing us.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're blaming this on me?
Cordelia Chase: I'm not blaming... Yes, I'm blaming you. You get the blame.
Charles Gunn: I don't know. I mean, if I had to listen to you two, day in, day out. Snipe, snipe, snipe. Bitch, bitch, bitch! I figure y'all got off easy, 'cause I would have killed you.
Cordelia Chase: [scoffs] That's rich, coming from Mr. "I-Don't-Take-Orders-Now-Where-Do-I-Stick-My-Axe?"
Charles Gunn: What does that supposed to mean?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, Gunn... You've never been very supportive of Angel's leadership role. I remember a certain shroud...
Charles Gunn: Hold up, hold up. Are you trying to tell me this is my fault?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, how is a man supposed to run a business if his employees won't follow directives?
Charles Gunn: Was one of his directives, "Hire a pansy-ass British guy?".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: My ass is not pansy!

Charles Gunn: What about her? Maybe if she'd had a couple more visions, Angel would have been too distracted to think about this Darla chick, huh?
Cordelia Chase: Earth to retards! If you have an obsession, you pretty much squeeze it into your schedule, no matter what!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah-ha! So you admit it is an obsession.
Cordelia Chase: No... I mean, yes, but no!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Hypocrite.
Cordelia Chase: Ass pansy!

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I thought you'd like to know that we're keeping the agency open. With or without you. You may have turned your back on your mission, but we haven't. Someone has to fight the good fight.
Angel: [voice over] Let them fight the good fight. Someone has to fight the war.

Cordelia Chase: So how do we find her?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We start with basics. First, we examine the area for any tell-tale signs of a particular kind of... eugh.
Charles Gunn: There's different kinds of "eugh"?


"Angel: The Shroud of Rahmon (#2.8)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Angel] He helps people, you know. When he's not in trouble himself.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia, what happened to your head?
Cordelia Chase: Excuse me?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Your hair. It's new... it's great! When did this happen?
Cordelia Chase: Ten days ago!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Of course. I didn't want to embarrass you by...
Cordelia Chase: Noticing? Nice suit.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Angel] He doesn't seem to be doing much with his time, lately.
Cordelia Chase: Au contraire. His day is packed: Brood about Darla, brood about Darla, lunch, followed by a little Darla brooding.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right. Enough is enough. I'm gonna march up there and tell him just that.
[stands there staring at the stairs]
Cordelia Chase: Nice posturing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Thank you.

Cordelia Chase: Why is it always virgin women who have to do the sacrificing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: For purity, I suppose.
Cordelia Chase: This has nothing to do with purity. This is all about dominance, buddy. You can bet if someone ordered a male body part for religious sacrifice, the world would be atheist
[snaps]
Cordelia Chase: like that.

Cordelia Chase: Uh huh. Time to traipse off to your soul-sucking Hollywood party?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Premiere, actually, and I, uh, just happen to have an extra ticket...
Cordelia Chase: Who does shallow better then me?

Angel: Cordelia, what happened?
Cordelia Chase: It's not blood, it's cocktail sauce. Courtesy of Mr. Star-Schmoozer here.
Angel: I mean to your head. Your hair. Well, it looks great. When did this happen?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ten days ago. Pay attention.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I even spilled it on her in front of Mr. Fat Chow... Chow.
Cordelia Chase: Chow Yun-Fat!
Angel: What? You met Chow Yun-Fat?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [reading] "On the third of this month, the museum research department received the Shroud of Rahmon, from a tomb recently unearthed by University of New Mexico archeologists".
Cordelia Chase: Okay, two words I don't like, right off the bat: tomb and unearthed. People, you've got to leave your tombs earthed!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The Shroud of Rahmon. Have you ever heard of it?
Cordelia Chase: I'm not big on shrouds, they're an "after-you-die" outfit.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [reading] "The shroud was woven by the head priest, said to have been driven mad by the demon himself. Once Rahmon was defeated, the priest dyed the shroud with the blood of seven virgin women, sacrificed on the first full moon, then laid it upon Rahmon's body, in order to prevent his resurrection".
Cordelia Chase: Why is always virgin women who have to do the sacrificing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: For purity I 'spose.
Cordelia Chase: This is nothing to do with purity. This is all about dominance, buddy. You can bet that if someone ordered a male body part for religious sacrifice, the world would be atheist,
[snaps fingers]
Cordelia Chase: like that!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The shroud supposedly absorbed Rahmon's power.
Cordelia Chase: So he who has the shroud has the power. You said Rahmon was a drive-you-mad kinda fella?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ooh.
Cordelia Chase: I hate it when you do that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Once in 1803, the shroud was removed from its casing.
Cordelia Chase: And yuckiness ensued?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, yes. The entire population of El Encanto went insane. Mothers and children hacking one another to pieces, men roaming the streets like rabid dogs...
Cordelia Chase: I get the picture. So, in order to take his mind off the torment that is Darla, we sent Angel after a box that makes you crazy.
Cordelia Chase: Worse case scenario: We'll warn Angel off it, before they steal the shroud.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Just as soon as he comes back. Unless, of course, they're stealing it right now.

Detective Kate Lockley: Where's Angel?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel? Right. That's why I'm here, to warn Angel about... something... important! Your hair!
Detective Kate Lockley: You're here to warn Angel about my hair?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's blonde!

[last lines]
Cordelia Chase: Full day's work, then?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think so.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Cordelia has a sauce stain on her blouse] Really, the stain. It's hardly noticeable.


"Angel: Spin the Bottle (#4.6)" (2002)
Gunn: What happened to you, man?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I had my throat cut and all my friends abandoned me.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So who are you?
Gunn: I'm the guy that's gonna be kickin' a whole mess of ass somebody don't tell me what's goin' on.
Cordelia: What do they call you for short?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The cross obviously doesn't affect me, or our friend the pugilist.
Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [after accidentally shooting Angel] Sorry. I mean, ha!

Angel: Mad. You're all mad. These clothes. Your speech. This place. What land is this?
Gunn: What land is it supposed to be?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Angel] Yes, where do you hail from, friend?
Angel: [Angerly] I'm not your friend, you English pig! We never wanted you in Ireland. We don't want you now.
Gunn: You Irish?
Cordelia: You don't sound Irish?
Angel: For most certain, I sound exactly-
[releasing he doesn't have an Irish accent, puts his hand to his throat in panic]
Angel: Something is wrong with my voice!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The important thing is to start with the facts. We're all from different cities, we're all of an age...
[rubs chin thoughtfully]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Judging from the amount of facial hair I've grown, we've all been unconscious for at least a month.
Cordelia: [Touches her short hairstyle] Oh, God. Oh, God. My hair. My hair.
[Crying]
Cordelia: The government gave me bad hair!
Fred: [Reassuringly] No, no, it's nice!
Cordelia: Are you sure?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's... eh... very attractive. But a clue, nonetheless. Perhaps the whole point of this experiment is hair!

Gunn: Don't be giving me orders. I run my own crew.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm sure your seafaring adventures are very interesting, but I have experience of things you couldn't imagine.
[Proudly]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not head boy for nothing.
Gunn: You 'bout to be headless boy, you don't get out my face!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Overly dramatic] All right. I'm going to let you all in on something you may have trouble comprehending. I assure you that however...
Gunn: [interrupting] Vampires are real.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Whining] I was telling!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There are stories at the Watcher's Academy of a test. A secret gauntlet which only the most cunning can survive. You're locked in a house with a vicious, deadly vampire, and you have to kill him before he kills you. It's been done in the past with slayers.
Fred: [Excited] Slayer? The band?

Fred: [after Angel leaves the hotel] Do you think Liam's okay out there?
Gunn: If something's eating him, at least he ain't as bored as me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Joke all you like. Liam, right now, may be facing horrors he's never even imagined
[Angel runs out to the street through the garden. When he reaches the street, he stares in horror at cars zooming by on the road. Terrified by the alien sight, he runs back to the hotel]
Angel: [Running in the hotel and slamming the doors shut] Demons!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Really?
[to Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Told you.
[to Angel]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How many?
Angel: [Still terrified by the sight of cars] Hundreds. Screaming.
Fred: [Concerned] Will they try to get in?
Angel: Don't think they saw me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What type of demons, would you say?
Angel: Shiny.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The simple fact is... the fiend has been under our noses the entire time, waiting for the moment to...
[takes cross out of his breast pocket, and puts it in Gunn's face]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Strike!
[Gunn punches Wesley in the face, and Wes falls to the ground]
Angel: See?
[giggles]
Angel: The English is stupid.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Walks in while Fred and Lorne are speaking Pylean] Did I miss the spell? Did English go away?
Lorne: No, it's Pylean, crumpet. I said, "I may be prepared to shout a joyful chant."
Fred: And I said, "May your words please the gods."
Lorne: [Cut to Lorne's narration to the audience] OK, first of all, she didn't say, "May your words please the gods," so much as "May you orally please the gods," which is a slight... inflection's very crucial in our-oh, God bless her, it's always nice to hear the mother tongue-as long as it's not from my mother!


"Angel: Over the Rainbow (#2.20)" (2001)
Lorne the Host: How you holding up?
Angel: I wanna go, bad. I'm just waitin' for Wes to have that "Eureka" moment.
Wesley: [runs in shouting] Eureka!
Angel: Oh, jeez. Thank God.
Lorne the Host: [surprised] You mean he actually really says "Eureka"?

[arrived in another dimension, in daylight]
Charles Gunn: You all see the street do that bendy thing?
Angel: So we made it then, this is your world?
Lorne the Host: Ah, yes. Home sweet hell.
Angel: Ha, I'm not on fire.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And, we're together! And we didn't merge into a freakish four-man Siamese twin.
Charles Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
Angel: [happy] Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?
Lorne the Host: Ah, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, all right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Wesley, Angel, Lorne, and Gunn are surrounded by a mob of Pyleans] We've been through a lot together fellows. Fought a lot of battles. Faced some pretty steep odds...
Gunn: [to Angel] I'll take the twenty on the left, you take the fifty on the right.
Angel: Okay.

Lorne the Host: Just remember, keep your heads down. Xenophobia, kind of a watchword where I'm from.
Charles Gunn: I don't get it. Why they afraid of Xena? I mean, I think she's kinda fly.
Wesley: "Xenophobia". - fear of foreigners.
Charles Gunn: Oh, then can we pretend I didn't just say that?

Wesley: We might never be able to get back!
Angel: It's Cordy.

Wesley: There's obviously not gonna be any big swirly hole jumping without a big swirly hole.

[Gunn tries to break handcuffs]
Charles Gunn: [trying to get out of manacles] It's no use. Thing's made out of some kind of magical alloy.
Wesley: Really? How can you tell?
Charles Gunn: I can't. I'm just makin' myself feel better.

[first lines]
Wesley: Cordy?
Angel: Cordelia? Cordy? Cordy?
Wesley: Oh, no. Oh, my God, no. How could I have let this happen?
Angel: No, she's here somewhere. She's just hiding. Cordy? Cordy?
Wesley: Angel?
Angel: What?
Wesley: She's gone. Cordy's been sucked into the portal. She's in the Host's dimension now.
Angel: [to Lorne] Where's Cordelia?

Wesley: I suppose I could try a binding spell of some kind, something that would fuse us together as we enter the portal.
Angel: Good, let's do that. That's...
Wesley: However we could emerge on the other side as a freakishly hybridized Siamese twin.
Angel: Keep looking.

Angel: [the suns of Pylea is not affecting Angel] Why am I not on fire?
Charles Gunn: Yo, that was phat!
Wesley: Well it is another dimension. Perhaps theres some...
Lorne the Host: Back up, Copernicus. That's suns. Plural.
Wesley: Suns, yes. Well, perhaps they don't have the same effect on vampires.
[pinches Angel's cheek]
Angel: Watch it, alright? Hey!
Wesley: Fascinating!

Lorne the Host: I think we're only a couple of miles from town but, we'll have to walk it.
Angel: No problem here, walkin' in the sun. Hey, do it all the time.
Wesley: Yes, we're all heartily aware that you're not on fire. Shall we go?

Angel: I think we might have a lead on Cordy.
Lorne the Host: You found her?
Angel: No. I heard two guys talking about a girl with visions. Said she was cursed.
Lorne the Host: Yikes. I don't like the sound of that.
Angel: They mentioned something about a Covenant. Something about performing tests on her.
Wesley: Angel, I hate to state the obvious. But we need to get out of here.


"Angel: Shells (#5.16)" (2004)
Knox: Showtime.
Spike: Any seats left?
Angel: If not, we can just stand in the back.
Knox: Guys, you should scan the headlines here. You-you can't win this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Then we all die trying.
Illyria: Why?
Angel: You want the short version? Let's start with you walkin' around lookin' like the woman you murdered.
Illyria: You think your actions will restore her.
Angel: No.
Illyria: Yet you seek a confrontation you cannot win.
Angel: What you're tryin' to do - raise your army, reclaim your world - innocent people would die, like Fred. I can't let that happen.
Illyria: You are the protector of these creatures?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: You'd fight for their lives?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: Even this one?
Knox: Is that an issue? Is-is my life in peril, boss? King?
Angel: You're about as low as it gets, Knox. But you're a part of humanity. That isn't always pretty, but it's a hell of a lot better than what came before. And if it comes down to a choice between you and him... then, yes. I would fight for his life just like any other human's, because that's what people do. That's what makes us...
[Wesley shoots Knox]
Angel: [to Wesley] Were you even listening?
Illyria: You've destroyed my Qwa'ha Xahn.
Spike: Yeah, okay. But you've gotta admit, he had it coming.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fred?
[Illyria walks past Wesley toward the mirror, ignoring him]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Illyria?
Illyria: My name. You would presume to speak my name? Because I am returned in the body of a human, you think you can speak to me. It's disgusting.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Who is Winifred Burkle?
Illyria: I thought the humans would have long died out by now. Instead, you've grown bold.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So you don't know who Fred is?
Illyria: Nor care. Bleat at me no longer. We're done.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes.
[he bends to pick up a battle-axe]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We are.

Charles Gunn: I know how you feel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You know- You didn't feel her die.
[He begins to cry]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She was shaking with pain and terrified and so brave. She was better than anyone I've known. Better than... She's gone.

Harmony Kendall: The girl of your dreams loved you. That's more than most people ever get.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I know. But it isn't enough.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You tied Knox up.
Harmony Kendall: We're gonna torture him!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good. Why?

Angel: What the hell did you do?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What I had to.
Angel: I don't remember seeing "stab Gunn" on the agenda this morning.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I avoided the major organs. He'll probably live.
Angel: That's supposed to make it all right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nothing is all right! Nothing will ever be all right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She was curious. That's why Fred didn't put it into containment immediately. How things work. What makes them special. She was always searching for what other people couldn't see. She was just curious. I think I hate her a little for that.

Illyria: It can't be. It's gone. My world is gone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Now you know how I feel.

Illyria: We cling to what is gone. Is there anything in this life but grief?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's love. There's hope... for some. There's hope that you'll find something worthy... that your life will lead you to some joy... that after everything... you can still be surprised.
Illyria: Is that enough? Is that enough to live on?

Illyria: This is grief. I'm watching human grief - it's like offal in my mouth.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If you stay here you'll taste it every day. Every second. Look. Humans rule the earth. They will last for millennia, like roaches crawling everywhere. Crying and sweating and puking their feelings all over you. Go back. Sleep until the humans are gone. They are stupid and weak. They'll kill each other off, and you can return to the world you deserve. Leave this shell.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've been unreasonable, because I've lost all reason.

Illyria: My world is gone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Now you know how I feel.


"Angel: Dear Boy (#2.5)" (2000)
Angel: It was Darla. She's back. And she's human now. But, you know, I know her scent.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, you can't just, sniff a person and know...
Angel: [sniffing Wesley] You had sex last night with a bleached blonde.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good lord! How'd you...
Cordelia Chase: That's unbelievable. I didn't think you ever had sex.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's just, with Darla back, in league with Wolfram and Hart, there are a lot of forces, a raid against you. There's going to be trouble.
Angel: There's gonna be a lot of trouble. And I say: Bring it on.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We made you some tea.
Angel: Oh. Great.
Cordelia Chase: It's on the table right there in front of you.
Angel: Table seems far.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days. It's like living with the world's oldest teenager.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: He can't be having a growth spurt at two hundred and forty eight, could he?
Angel: Two forty seven!

Cordelia Chase: What if, every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books we gave you ten bucks... or a chicken pot pie?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wait, I have another idea. No! Get a vision.
Cordelia Chase: Well it's not like you can hit me in the head and "wham!" it happens.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?

Angel: [after Cordy has a vision] Are you all right? You sure you don't wanna sit down?
Cordelia Chase: If I sit, I'll throw up in my head.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pointing to a demon in a book] Did it look like this?
Cordelia Chase: No. More mushy and more mouldy. It was growing right out of the wall.
Angel: Maybe, I'll just...
Cordelia Chase: Mush monster's not going anywhere. It's the place that we've gotta find. Its disciples are human; they're killing each other. I think the fight is over how to worship it.
Angel: This is why, personally, I rarely go to church.
[nobody laughs]
Angel: Thought it was funny.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [talking about Angel] Oh, he's an eccentric, all the great ones are. Sherlock Holmes, Phillip Marlowe...
Harold Jeakins: Those are fictional characters.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, right you are, which gives Angel rather a leg up when you come to think of it.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [talking about Darla] Vampires don't come back from the dead.
Angel: I did and I saw her. I'm not crazy.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Where?
Angel: Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog.

Charles Gunn: As evil blood-suck vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with his sire, Darla.
Cordelia Chase: We're researching her now to see if she has some kind of resurrection powers. Maybe she's a vampire cat with nine lives, or something!
Charles Gunn: So, he and Darla together, bad combo?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: They rampaged through half the known world, until Angel got his soul.
Cordelia Chase: Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had a hundred and fifty years to get it right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't blame Angel for- He's trying to do what's right!
Detective Kate Lockley: That's right, he's good, I keep forgetting. I'm sorry, and why did he kidnap that woman, again?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This is all just precautionary. When push comes to shove, Angel's a... We trust him.
Charles Gunn: I see.
Cordelia Chase: It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky.
Charles Gunn: He turns evil?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, there are forces than can make Angel revert to Angelus, the vampire he was before he got a soul.


"Angel: Guise Will Be Guise (#2.6)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: What are you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, knocking things over, driving away business... You know, the usual.
Cordelia Chase: Well, I found him and we have to stop him before it's too late. We have to change our... Do you have any clothes a man would wear?

Charles Gunn: It's cool. He's got a plan.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A plan?
Angel: Yeah. I get to the offices before they stop me.
Charles Gunn: See? What? That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pretending to be Angel] Blood. I don't usually... drink in front of humans.
Magnus Bryce: Don't insult me. Go on. It's fresh.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [drinks the glass of blood] Dear God! That's... nummy.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You know, this whole "curse" thing has been widely misinterpreted.
Virginia Bryce: Really?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, yes. Less - less of a curse, and more of a hex, actually. Barely that. A recommendation.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, no, no, no. Not the sun, for I'm a vampire! Oh, oh, oh, it burns! Oh, oh, oh.

Angel: Were you in Virginia?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's beside the point.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to thugs] Release her or die.
Angel: Don't I say that?

Magnus Bryce: She's impure? Sh-She's not a virgin?
[to Wesley]
Magnus Bryce: You...
Charles Gunn: Whoa, that's what impure meant?
Cordelia Chase: She slept with him?
Magnus Bryce: [to Wesley, imitating Angel] You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: You slept with her?
Angel: A eunuch?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Things happen. Two young people. Danger.
Virginia Bryce: What are you talking about?
Magnus Bryce: She was a virgin before you got here.
Virginia Bryce: I was not a virgin!
Magnus Bryce: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, thank goodness.
Charles Gunn: I coulda have told you she wasn't no virgin.
Angel: Not a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: One day as Angel... One day, and he's getting some.
Magnus Bryce: What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.
Angel: I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.
Virginia Bryce: Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was sixteen? And the one at eighteen? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.

[first lines]
Man: Hello.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Didn't hear you come in. How can I help you?
Man: Where is he?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel? He is rather out at the moment. Is there something I can do for you? I'm his associate.
Man: Yeah, you can tell me where the boss is. It's kind of urgent.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We specialize in urgent. Life and death is it?
Man: It could get rough. I need someone with his special abilities.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I understand perfectly. Why don't you fill me in, and as soon as we find...
Man: What about you? You got any special abilities?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A few, I dare say.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The host, the fellow talking to Angel over there. He helps demons. Reads their souls, senses their futures.
Cordelia Chase: Yes, but he can only do it when they sing karaoke.


"Angel: Disharmony (#2.17)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Harmony] Well, I'm unaware of any red bird statuary in downtown Los Angeles, so unless you are, I suggest...
[Harmony pops her gum]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: someone put a stake through that woman's heart if she persists in popping her bloody chewing gum!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I took the liberty of providing you with a new working space.
Angel: Great.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Angel starts to go. Wesley stops him with] And I'd love a cup of coffee.
Angel: [wryly appreciates the joke] That's, that's very funny.
Cordelia: [Now, Cordelia passes in front of Angel saying] Two sugars in mine.
Charles Gunn: Mocha cappuccino, here.
Angel: [Slowly realizes they're not kidding, his smile fades and he turns to get coffees] Man, atonement's a bitch.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pointing at Harmony] That is not your friend. That thing may have your friend's memories, her appearances... , but it's just a filthy demon, an unholy monster.
[notices Harmony's listening]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Eh... , no offense.
Harmony Kendall: [genuinely confused] About what?

[Harmony is popping and chewing gum, loudly]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Doesn't appear to be hieroglyphic or- Do you mind?
Harmony Kendall: Well, I'm kinda bored, but, go ahead.

[Harmony tears a page out of a book to put her gum in. Wesley is livid]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [shouting] What are you doing? This book is twelve centuries old!
Harmony Kendall: Okay, so it's not like I messed up a new one.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This won't be easy for any of us, Angel. You're going to have to change your behavior... Engage your co-workers from time to time. Be sensitive to their feelings, their opinions. Especially before you take some action one might construe as... well, let's just call it: insane? It goes a long to show you appreciate and respect them.
[beat]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This is torture for you, isn't it?
Angel: Yes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good.

Cordelia: [talking about Harmony] So, you just thought you'd bust into my house and kill my friend without giving her a chance to explain herself?
[Angel and Wesley share a look]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah.
Angel: Pretty much.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That was the plan.
Cordelia: Holster your guns, boys. She came to me for help.
[pause as she let's that sink in]
Cordelia: That's what we do, right? Help?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Harmony] It's all right to speak freely in front of her. - She's a vampire.
Charles Gunn: Don't we kill them anymore?

Cordelia: [after Harmony blows up the computer] Come on, Harm.
[Cordelia takes Harmony's arm and leads her away]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Such a fitting nickname. Bloody hell.

Angel: [talking about Cordelia] Do you think maybe that I should send her something? Like flowers, maybe?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Flowers?
Angel: Yeah, you know, to say, uh..."Thanks, I'm sorry about the migraines". You know... , "I appreciate you".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, by all means. And, um... while you're at it, pick me up one of those, "Sorry you were shot in the gut" bouquets!


"Angel: A Hole in the World (#5.15)" (2004)
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Would you have loved me?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've loved you since I've known you. No, that's not-I think maybe even before.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I'm so sorry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, no, no.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I need you to talk to my parents. Th-they have to know I wasn't scared, th-that it was quick. That I wasn't scared. Oh, God.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You have to fight. You don't have to talk, just concentrate on fighting. Just hold on.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared. Please, Wesley. Why can't I stay?

Spike: It's bollocks, Angel! It's your brand of bollocks from first to last.
Angel: No, you can't ever see the big picture. You can't see any picture!
Spike: I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct.
Angel: And that wins out every time with you. You know, the human race has evolved, Spike!
Spike: Oh, into a bunch of namby-pamby, self-analyzing wankers who could never hope to...
Angel: We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus, there's a thing called teamwork, not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!
Spike: You just want it to be the way you want it to be.
Angel: It's not about what I want!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?
Angel: No.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It just sounds a little serious.
Angel: It was mostly... theoretical. We...
Spike: We were just working out a - Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this.
[pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Do the astronauts have weapons?
Spike, Angel: No.

Fred: I walk with heroes. Think about that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You are one.
Fred: Superhero. And this is my power. To not let them take me.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Kind of cool, physiologically. They reproduce by vomiting up crystals that attract and mutate the microbes around them to form eggs.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Are you trying to turn me on?

Charles Gunn: I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is kinda blowin' my mind.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Tell me.
Charles Gunn: Fred and I are getting' back together! She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talkin' for hours like old times. Then, all of a sud- I can't even keep this up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.

Lawyer: I'm sorry to interrupt. I just need to know if the Holbein Clan history was here. It was supposed to be faxed to my office.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It can wait.
Lawyer: These guys are really important. I just need... I mean, the whole company can't be working Miss Burkle's case.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Of course.
[nonchalantly pulls a gun out of his desk and shoots the lawyer in the knee]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to his secretary] Jennifer, please send anyone else who isn't working Miss Burkle's case to me.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You don't have to say it.
Angel: I'll say it anyway: Winifred Burkle. Go.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Time is not on our side.
Spike: Nobody is on our side.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: My boys. I walk with heroes. Think about that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [crying, trying to hold himself together] You are one.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Superhero. And this is my power: to not let them take me. Not me.


"Angel: Judgment (#2.1)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's, uh, anagogic.
Cordelia Chase: Really? He looks like he's eating enough.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, I'm Wesley Wyndam... Pryce, and this is Cordelia Chase.
Cordelia Chase: It's nice to finally meet.
Charles Gunn: I've seen you before.
Cordelia Chase: Really? The Tan 'n' Screen commercials?
Charles Gunn: I saw you in bed.
Cordelia Chase: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I-I can see this is none of my business.
Charles Gunn: You too.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Now, just a moment!
Charles Gunn: In the hospital - after Angel's building blew? He sent me there to keep an eye on you two.
Cordelia Chase: Right.
Charles Gunn: I'm just messing with y'all. I was hoping for some demon fighting tonight, but I wound up with a delivery job instead.

Cordelia Chase: [knock at the door] Who is it?
Charles Gunn: Gunn.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What was that?
Cordelia Chase: Something about a gun. What if it's a demon with a gun?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen up, whoever you are. We're well-armed and we know how to do battle so if you know what's good for you...
Charles Gunn: My name is Gunn. Angel sent me.

Angel, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Vision!
Cordelia Chase: Just a sneeze.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nasty... demon... , unknown... origin.
Angel: Awful lot of that in this town. I'm sure he'll feel right at home, here.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I may have someone who can help.
Angel: Who?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A parasite demon named Merl.
Cordelia Chase: Maybe it's time to pay your stoolie a little visit. Make with the chin music until he canaries... I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's a place he hangs out. A safe haven for demons. I've been meaning to take you there, I think it may be of use to us. But...
Angel: But, what?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's a little outside the box.

Cordelia Chase: Wesley, you've heard Angel talk about Gun. He's a great guy with a really fly street tag.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What's he fly?
Cordelia Chase: It's how they know you on the street, dorko.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're not running a race. We're doing a job... one soul at a time

Cordelia Chase: [about Lorne] Who is this guy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's connected to the mystic. When you sing, you bear your soul. He sees into it.


"Angel: There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb (#2.22)" (2001)
[Wesley and Gunn are about to be beheaded]
Charles Gunn: I got a plan.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, thank God! What is it?
Rebel #1: One...
Charles Gunn: We die horribly and painfully, you go to Hell and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [right after being made leader of the rebels] Why do people keep putting me in charge of things?
Charles Gunn: I have no idea.

[being shown Lorne's severed head]
Angel: He was...
Charles Gunn: Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Mmm.
Lorne the Host: That's it?
Angel, Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Aah!
Lorne the Host: Where's the praising and extolling of my virtues? Where's the love?

[last lines]
Angel: Can I say it? I wanna say it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Say what?
Angel: There's no place like...
[Angel opens the doors to the hotel and see a grieving Willow sitting on the couch]
Angel: - Willow?
Cordelia Chase: What's...?
Angel: It's Buffy.

Rebel Leader: We're ashamed. We nearly cut your heads off.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You were just doing your job.
Rebel Leader: You are free to go. Five cheers for the other-worlders!
Rebels: Brave warriors! Brave warriors! Brave warriors! Brave warriors! Brave warriors!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oooo, in this world you get five.

Charles Gunn: He's Angel. He does that. How's she do that?
Angel: She's Fred. She does that too.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fred? Winifred? The girl from Cordy's vision?

Angel: Look, when I fired you guys the reason I... Darkness was coming out in me. I didn't want you near it. The thing that comes out here is ten times worse. Wes - I do this - you know I won't come back from it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, you will. I know you.
[Glances over at Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We know you. We know you're a man with a demon inside - not the other way around. We know you have the strength to do what needs to be done, and you will come back to us.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think we did it.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I was opening portals, but I couldn't tell where. You need the priests' formulas to figure that out on this side.

Charles Gunn: Those men you sent to create a diversion are going to get killed.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, they are.
[pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You try not to get anybody killed, you wind up getting everybody killed.


"Angel: Somnambulist (#1.11)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You recall earlier this morning that mix-up with the dentist's mail and newspaper? That's when I saw this.
[he shows her a newspaper clipping]
Cordelia: Oh, my God! You cut up Dr. Folger's newspaper? You're gonna get us kicked out of this building.

Wes: [Wesley and Angel break into another vampires apartment] Oh, I invite you in!
Angel: Relax. That's only for humans. Breaking and entering another vampire's lair isn't a problem.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Where'd you get the police radio?
Angel: Police car.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, dear!

[Wesley and Cordelia think Angel has reverted to Angelus]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why should we believe anything you say?
[in the blink of an eye, Angel grabs Wesley and puts him in a headlock]
Angel: Because that's how fast I could take you if I wanted.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: When I saw this story today it rang chillingly familiar. So I reacquainted myself with certain facts, confirming, I'm sorry to say, my grim suspicions. In the late 1700s it was Angelus' custom to 'sign' his victims by carving a Christian cross into their left cheek. He liked to let people know he'd been there.
Cordelia: Okay, you get to leave now. - You're not gonna come in here and accuse Angel like this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia...
Cordelia: No! I don't care how many files you have on all the horrible things he did back in the powdered wig days! - He is good now. And he's my friend. And nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!
Angel: [From the shadows] Cordelia.
[Wesley and Cordy turn around]
Angel: He's right.
Cordelia: [to Wesley] You'll stake him and I'll cut his head off.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Walking into Angel Investigations, not seeing Penn the vampire] Nothing on the streets about a new vampire in town.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Cordy tries to warn him, but Penn grabs Wes from behind and gets him in a choke hold] ... Which is maybe because he's here - and has me by the throat.

Angel: [about the vampire he sired, Penn] I taught him well
Cordelia: A real psycho-wan-kenobi.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: 200 years practice. I imagine he has it down by now.
Cordelia: No lie. Gallagher's changed his act more often than this dude has in the last two centuries. Why do you think he's still doing the same old schtick?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, I mean, it's a classic, isn't it?
[Smiles]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Every time he smashes that watermelon with a sledgehammer I just...
[Angel and Cordy stare at him]

Cordelia: I believe in Los Angeles. It's the city of dreams, a mystical oasis, built from a dessert. But even sunny blond LA has its trashy dark roots, and you've learned that the hard way, haven't you? You've taken your problem to the police, they can't help you, so you've come to us.
[See she's talking to an empty chair]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it's about to speak.

Cordelia: [Wesley shows her a newspaper clipping] Third body found in alley. So? Not exactly front-page news.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Actually that *is* the front page


"Angel: Soul Purpose (#5.10)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I say we make a pre-emptive strike. Remove him before he and his followers go underground.
Charles Gunn: Assassination?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're talking about an evil warlock here. The longer we wait, the more powerful he becomes.
Charles Gunn: I don't plan on waiting.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Really? What is your plan?
Charles Gunn: We open a can of Machiavelli on his ass.
Harmony Kendall: [condescendingly] It's Matchabelli, Einstein, and it doesn't come in a can.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, oddly, once again we find ourselves in a bit of a gray...
Angel: Don't...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: ...area.
Angel: - say that! Can we just get through one damn day without saying that?

Charles Gunn: [Gunn enters Wesley's office and greets Wesley and Fred] You guys are gonna want to see this.
[Hands Wesley a report]
Charles Gunn: Been getting reports of a vigilante prowling the streets last night. A vampire, apparently.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel never left his penthouse.
[Reads from the paper]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "Vigilante reportedly killed 2 vampires at a gas station, then asked the women he saved if they'd, quote, like to get a bottle of hootch and listen to some Sex Pistols records with him."
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Are we sure Angel's just tired and not, um... crazy?

Spike: Look... I told Angel, and I'll tell you. A place like that doesn't change... not from the inside. Not from the out. You sign on there, it changes you. Puts things in your head. Spins your compass needle around 'till you can't cross the street without tripping the proverbial old lady and stepping on her glasses. And it's not like I wasn't there, gents. Like I wasn't watching you. Had to haunt the damn place, remember?
Charles Gunn: Things aren't that cut-and-dried, Spike. We're making a difference. We're just... playing by a new set of rules.
Spike: So what? You want me to... put on a suit, come play with you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Something like that.
Spike: I can't believe Angel would sign off on that. Unless... he doesn't know you're here, does he? Hedging our bets, are we, boys?
Charles Gunn: That's not how it is.
Spike: And the compass needle keeps spinning. And the world gets murkier and murkier.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Dream sequence: Lorne, Angel, and barmaid Harmony are in a saloon. Fred, Wesley, and Gunn are at a bar table] I told you he was empty.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, but this is ridiculous! We paid good money for this. We paid blood for this.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Dream sequence: Angel is sitting in the middle of a peaceful, sunlit meadow. Fred, Wesley, Gunn, and Lorne appear] This is really nice.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can stay as long as you like. Stay forever.
Angel: No... there's so much work to do.
Charles Gunn: It's fine. We got it covered.
Angel: But I'm not supposed to be here.
Lorne: Enough fighting, Angel-heart. Time to let freedom ring. Let yourself go.
Angel: But I'm not finished.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You are if you want to be.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It'll be fine. Great, actually. All you have to do is stop caring.

Charles Gunn: What I want to know is how that thing even got in here in the first place.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We're checking the firm's storage facilities. It's possible that a specimen escaped or...
Angel: [to Eve] You. You brought it.
Eve: Me?
Angel: You were here.
Eve: I had a cameo in your little dream sequence? That's so sweet.
Angel: You put the big one on me after I killed the other one.
Charles Gunn: The other one?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, there was only one.
Angel: No.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Maybe you were confusing reality with your hallucinations?
Angel: Uh-uh. Changed your clothes.
Eve: Yeah. I do that sometimes, after a long day.
Angel: But you didn't change your earrings. You were wearing those in my hallucination, except I haven't seen you for days.
Eve: I've worn them before. Hey, I can't be held responsible for how you dress me in your fantasies.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: You did change your clothes, Eve, and I've never seen those earrings before today.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If you want to save the world, we've got the resources to help you do it.
Spike: No offense, Mr. Vader, but I've got no itch to join the evil empire.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Oh! Hey! Did you talk to Spike?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We did.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What'd he say?
Charles Gunn: Oh, you know... stuff.


"Angel: Epiphany (#2.16)" (2001)
Angel: We are talkin' about the same Cordelia Chase, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's correct.
Angel: Knowing her...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But you don't. You don't know her at all. For months now, you haven't cared to. Otherwise, you might have realized that our Cordelia has become a very solitary girl. She's not the vain carefree creature she once was. Well... , certainly not carefree. It's the visions, you see. The visions that were meant to guide you. You could turn away from them. She doesn't have that luxury. She knows and experiences the pain in this city. And because of who she is, she feels compelled to do something about it. It's left her little time for anything else. You'd have known that, if you hadn't had your head firmly up your... place that isn't on top of your neck.

Charles Gunn: So what's he doin' here?
Angel: I went and saw the Host at Caritas. - He said my friends were in danger.
Charles Gunn: So what's he doin' here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He had an epiphany.
Charles Gunn: Ahh.

Angel: [about Cordelia] Guys, guys, d-does it make sense that sh-she would go there in the middle of the night, without calling either one of you?
Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: They owe us money.
Angel: Let's go.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel!
Angel: Invite me in! I've never been here before Wesley, you have to invite me in!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, perhaps if you had shown a bit of interest...
Angel: Wesley!
[Skilosh demons break through the window]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes! Well, absolutely, I invite you in! Man, I invite you!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: In any event. I diagnosed the girl's condition as "infection by a Skilosh".
Angel: With your books?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes...
Angel: You were always so good with your books. Made it look so easy. It isn't.

Charles Gunn: [to Wesley] Come on, English. You know you're my man.
Angel: So, I see you guys have bonded.
Charles Gunn: It happens when you fight shoulder to shoulder.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Or rather hip to shoulder, these days.
Charles Gunn: This man took a bullet for me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah... It was nothing.

Charles Gunn: Where's Cordy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We don't know. Not here.
Charles Gunn: You checked her pad?
Angel: I stopped by there earlier.
Charles Gunn: You enjoying your visit to nineteen seventy three? I meant her message pad.
Angel: Oh, right, yeah. That's a good idea.

[last lines]
Angel: I'm sorry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Before you say anymore, I think I should tell you. We've all discussed it, and none of us are ready just yet.
Angel: It's okay, Wesley. I don't want you to come back and work for me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I see.
Angel: I want to work for you.
Charles Gunn: You want to work for us?
Angel: Yeah, I do.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Because I think I can help.
Cordelia Chase: How do we know we can trust you?
Angel: I guess I'll just have to earn that.
Cordelia Chase: No. No. No!
[has a vision]
Cordelia Chase: The usual big scary, rising up in a housing project in Topanga. And why is it I'm not on the floor this time?
Angel: I've got you.
Cordelia Chase: Maybe he should drive.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let's go.


"Angel: Offspring (#3.7)" (2001)
Angel: [about Darla] She bit Cordy.
Lorne: Oh, sweetie. Are you alright?
Angel: No. Where is she?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.
Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but...

Angel: Darla.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Darla?
Cordelia Chase: Darla?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Who's Darla?
Charles Gunn: Angel's old flame from way back.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not the one who died?
Charles Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Charles Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.

Cordelia Chase: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: What?
Cordelia Chase: I love you, too.
Angel: You do? When did this...?
Cordelia Chase: [to Wes, Gunn, and Fred] Angel loves me, I love him!
Angel: Oh, my God.
Cordelia Chase: You guys love us and we love you.
Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We love you, Angel!

Cordelia Chase: What can we do for you?
Darla: Well, you can get your little gang of supernatural detectives to find out what the hell is happening to me and how to stop it.
Cordelia Chase: [to Angel] Are you going to take some responsibility here? Angel?
Angel: Oh, me? Of course I am. Wes, let's get on this right now.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you suggest?
Angel: I suggest you ah, use your books and find out what's going on. What do I have to think of everything?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [opening a book] Oh, here it is. It says: "I have absolutely no idea what's going on". We should talk to The Host.

Angel: [talking about Darla] Where is she?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.
Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fist and feet with our faces.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can explain to them why you keep so much G.H.B. on hand. You know, Rohypnol, the date-rape drug.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Gunn about the prophecy] It predicts and arrival or arising of the Tro-Clon. A personal being that brings about the ruination of Mankind.

Angel: [looking at the ultrasound] Isn't that a head?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it is, or is that the head?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Maybe you're both right.
[everybody turns to look at her]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not like I'm suggesting it's an evil two headed thing...


"Angel: Reunion (#2.10)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: Okay, I'm still tryin' to get this family tree straight. Darla sired Angel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Correct.
Charles Gunn: And Angel sired this Drusilla.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Back when he and Darla were together, yes.
Charles Gunn: But, before Angel got his soul back, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Certainly.
Charles Gunn: Now these lawyers, they brought Darla back as human. Now this Drusilla vamp goes and bites Darla?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So it would seem.
Charles Gunn: Making her a vampire again.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's the cosmological upshot, yes. Darla's human self has died, and some time before dawn, unless Angel can stop it, she will rise again, a soulless demon.
Charles Gunn: So that means...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Clock is ticking.
Charles Gunn: No, no, what I'm sayin' is, that means the granddaughter remade the grandmother.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh. Yes.
Charles Gunn: Man, somehow that weirds me out more than the whole blood-suckin' thing.

Angel: There out there, both of them.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So you did find them, then. Where are they now?
Angel: I don't know.
Cordelia Chase: But you know where they're going to be?
Angel: Not exactly.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But yet you have your suspicions?
Angel: Actually, I don't.
Cordelia Chase: So, it's more like a hunch?
Angel: Wouldn't say hunch.
Cordelia Chase: Would you say inkling? Please tell me you could at least say inkling.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right now, the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Charles Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: I do.
[long pause]
Angel: You're all fired.

[first lines]
Charles Gunn: Were almost there. Yo! Anybody home?
Cordelia Chase: Oh my God! Angel!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What happened?
Charles Gunn: I don't know. He's kinda been in and out. I only got half the story. Half of it didn't make sense.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel. There's no time, no time. Okay, okay. Let's sit him down here.
Cordelia Chase: Where was he?
Charles Gunn: Coming from the motel.
Cordelia Chase: Darla's motel?
Angel: I should've heard them.
Charles Gunn: I managed to get him to the truck without him bursting into flames or anything.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's hurt.
Charles Gunn: This was a wreck. Something went down. Something not good.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel?
Angel: I was just so... so tired.
Cordelia Chase: Where is Darla?
Charles Gunn: I don't know. She weren't there.
Cordelia Chase: I knew it. She did this to him. I knew she couldn't be trusted.
Angel: She's dead.
Cordelia Chase: What?

Angel: I should've stopped them. They made her drink.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel?
Angel: She didn't want to. You think that you can resist... but then it's... it's too late.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Someone made Darla drink?
Angel: It was "her".
Cordelia Chase: Okay, way too many pronouns here. Who's "her"?
Angel: Drusilla.
Cordelia Chase: Drusilla's here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good lord.
Charles Gunn: Who's Drusilla?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel? Angel?
Charles Gunn: Am I right in guessing this Drusilla's got a set of teeth?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, she's a vampire.
Charles Gunn: I think I'm stating to get the picture now.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps you should sit down.
Angel: I have to find her.
Cordelia Chase: Drusilla?
Charles Gunn: [Angel looks in cabinet] She probably ain't in there.
Cordelia Chase: He's delirious.
Angel: I can save her.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Save whom?
Angel: Darla.

Cordelia Chase: Okay, here's the list of local cemeteries, funeral homes and mausoleums.
Charles Gunn: You're telling me we have to go to each one of these places and start digging up fresh graves?
Angel: Drucilla will want to put the body in the ground.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, are you certain about this? A burial isn't necessary for a newly made vampire.
Angel: It would be for Drusilla. She's a classicist.
Cordelia Chase: She's a loony.
Angel: Forget mausoleums. Stick with cemeteries, something with a view of the night sky.
Cordelia Chase: So, just outside cemeteries, then?
Charles Gunn: It doesn't narrow it down much.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If it's just a burial she's after, one doesn't need a cemetery. Just dirt, really.
Cordelia Chase: Still not narrowing. Whole planet, pretty much made up of dirt.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you just walked away?
Angel: No, I walked to my car and then I drove away.
Charles Gunn: You didn't do anything?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You allowed Darla and Drusilla to have free reign?
Angel: I didn't bring either one of them into this. They did.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You could've stopped them.
Angel: And I will.
Cordelia Chase: When? After they've finished off all the people you don't like?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, well it's certainly true these lawyers brought this on themselves. But what you did...
Cordelia Chase: Is wrong.
Charles Gunn: You went too far.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We've all been worried about you. And I guess it's fair to say we all share some of the blame. We should've spoken up sooner.
Charles Gunn: And louder.
Cordelia Chase: You have to change the way you've been doing things. Don't you see where this is taking you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen to her.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen to her! Right now the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Charles Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: I do. - You're all fired.


"Angel: Fredless (#3.5)" (2001)
Fred: [talking obliquely about Buffy] So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, *Fred*, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say... , no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also... nuh-uh.
Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sorta thing, why wouldn't it work?
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred.
[imitating Buffy]
Cordelia: Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but...
Wesley: [imitating Angel] But... my gypsy curse, sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley: Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: [entering, surprising everyone] How about you both bite me?
Fred: You're back!
Charles Gunn: How'd it go?
Angel: I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest I really don't want to talk about it.

Wesley: You know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter, I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon. Of course, the poodle's owners weren't very happy.

Cordelia: [on Fred's invention] God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.
Charles Gunn: Ooh, pretty wicked-lookin' toy.
Wesley: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her, you never know.

[first lines]
Wesley: You wouldn't dare. You were just gonna toss in a Prothgarian broadsword with a third century ceremonial Sancteus dagger?
Cordelia: Hmm... Let's see... Long, metal, pointy. Yep.

Roger Burkle: [after Angel turns into a vampire] What happened to his face?
Wesley: [to Fred's father] Angel is a vampire, but he has a soul. It's a long story. I'll tell you about it, if we don't end up dying.

Cordelia: In a really weird way, you know who I miss?
Wesley: Fred.
Cordelia: Actually, I was gonna say her parents. Is that wrong?
Angel: I don't think so. They were very - nice.
Cordelia: Nice? They weren't just nice, Angel. They were...
Charles Gunn: Parents.
Wesley: They loved her, supported her, didn't grind her down into a - tiny self-conscious nub with their constant berating, their never ending tirade of debasement, and scorn and...
Cordelia: At least now, Fred's got a shot at a normal life. Not that I don't love you guys, and L.A., and my work... but, things are just never normal around here, you know?

Fred: I belong here.
[turns to the gang]
Fred: Un-unless I don't. Which if - if you all don't wanna put up with me, I completely understand...
Wesley: Let's put it to a vote, shall we? All in favor say "aye". Aye. Motion passed. Good. You're staying.


"Angel: Parting Gifts (#1.10)" (1999)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm a rogue demon hunter, now.
Cordelia: Wow. What's a rogue demon?

Cordelia: Are you all right, Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, it's these pants. They tend to chafe one's... legs.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If anything happens to Cordelia because of me...
Angel: Nothing's gonna happen to Cordelia. I won't allow it.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm gonna thrash you within an inch of your life. And then I'm gonna take that inch!

Angel: [about Wesley's all-leather outfit] Interesting look for you. Motorcycle. The Watchers Council trying out a new image?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: In point of fact I no longer work for the Council. I came to the conclusion that I was of greater value to the cause working autonomously.
Angel: They fired you.

Cordelia: [about the demon they killed] Not that he didn't have it coming. He was a horrible, evil monster.
Angel: Hmm, he did kill a lot of people.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Viciously mutilated their corpses.
Cordelia: Plus he started the bidding on me at a paltry 2,000 dollars.

Angel: [after Cordy is taken by a demon] Nothing is going to happen to Cordelia. I won't let it. - In case you're wondering, this is me looking for a clue. Feel free to join in any time you want.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Sits down dejectedly] I'm a fool. The Council was right to sack me. - Yes, I was fired. I had two, two! Slayers in my care. One turns evil and now vegetates in a coma, the other is a renegade. Fire me? I'm surprised they didn't cut my head off.
[Angel finds a crumpled drawing of Cordy's vision]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm useless. - A fool. A sniveling great, big...
Angel: [Looking at the picture, whispers] Ugly, gray blobby thing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Continuing his rant] Ugly, gray, blobby thing. -What?
Angel: [about the drawing] I know this. It's a sculpture by Van Gieson, Maiden with Urn. Cordelia saw this in a vision. It could be telling us where Barney took her.


"Angel: Salvage (#4.13)" (2003)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We need you.
Faith: Well, uh, hate to wet the paper for you Wes, but I'm kinda unavailable right now. Maybe you wanna check back in a few decades when my parole comes up.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You need to know...
Faith: It's Armageddon again. I dig. Last thing you need's me in the mix. Besides, Angel comes shinin' through in the end like he always does.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's gone, Faith. Angelus is back.
[long pause]
Faith: Step away from the glass.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Feel natural?
Faith: Eh, it's like ridin' a biker.

Cordelia Chase: Faith? What the hell is she doing here?
Faith: Nice to see you too, Cor.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She's here to help.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, gee! That's great. Oh, wait a sec. Wasn't she convicted of murder and sent to a state correctional facility for, like, a gazillion years?
Faith: Murder two, twenty-five to life, for the record.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How do you expect to find Angelus without Connor?
Faith: The old-fashioned way. Kid's not the only tracker. Something'll turn up. Trail of bodies. A telltale clue.
[sees a big sign that says "Welcome Faith"]
Faith: Maybe a carpet fiber.

Faith: [after they jump out a window together] You okay?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Five by five.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're going to bring Angelus in alive.
Connor: No, we're not.
Charles Gunn: I thought you said capturing him wasn't an option.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Changed my mind.
Connor: Change it back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We get rid of Angelus, then what? We still have a Beast we don't know how to kill. We know it's working for something much worse, but we don't know what it is. We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom, and we can't get out without our champion. We're gonna save Angel, and I know who we need to help us do it.

[Wesley and Faith are hunting Angelus through dark streets]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Do you know where we're going?
Faith: Not especially.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How do you expect to find Angelus without Connor?
Faith: The old-fashioned way. The kid's not the only tracker. Something'll turn up. A trail of bodies, a tell-tale clue...
[They turn a corner and look up at a huge, hand-written sign hung above a building that reads "WELCOME FAITH"]
Faith: [Faith finishes her list ironically:] Maybe a carpet fiber.


"Angel: The Trial (#2.9)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's just so distraught about...
Cordelia Chase: Don't say Darla. I am sick and tired of hearing about Darla. If I hear the name Darla one more time...

Cordelia Chase: [to Wesley] Angel's back! And he has Darla with him!
[to Darla]
Cordelia Chase: Hi. You're, uh, planning on sleeping over?
Darla: I'm dying.
Cordelia Chase: So, just for the one night, then?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Dying?
Darla: He doesn't believe it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, what's going on?
Angel: Wolfram and Hart should her some medical files, supposedly proving she's only got a few months left to live.
Cordelia Chase: So maybe more than the one night?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Wolfram & Hart] It's true. They can't really be trusted.
Darla: I don't trust them. But I know a thing or two about mind games.
[to Angel]
Darla: So do you. We've played them together for over a century.
Cordelia Chase: Yes, but you were just soulless, blood-sucking demons. They're lawyers.
Angel: [to Darla] She's right. We were amateurs.

[talking to Darla after Angel just said she's not a prisoner]
Cordelia Chase: So, first up, you're a prisoner.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'd have to concur with that, yes.
Cordelia Chase: See, you've got our friend all in knots.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Can't say we like you much.
Cordelia Chase: So, sorry about the dying, but if you try to escape, we will hit you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: On the head.
Cordelia Chase: With very large and heavy objects. 'Kay?

[first lines]
Cordelia Chase: [about Angel] Don't you think we should check on him? He's been in that cellar a long time.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I keep hearing a "chucka-chucka" sound. What's he doing down there?
Cordelia Chase: How should I know? He barely says "Good morning and get me a glass of blood" anymore.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I know.

Cordelia Chase: [about Angel] And he is not distraught, he's obsessed. And, I thought you were going to be a man and talk to him about this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I was a man. I said... things.
Cordelia Chase: Like what?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Like... did he prefer milk or sugar in his tea? It's how men talk about things in England!

Cordelia Chase: You lied to us.
Angel: I did, I know.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: I figured you'd nag.


"Angel: The Thin Dead Line (#2.14)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: Look, I say if things are quiet, let 'em be quiet.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Quiet may be good for mankind, but bad for business.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You couldn't stop him?
Cordelia Chase: Hello! Gunn, stubborn, synonyms.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What I wouldn't give for a roving band of Prechian demons right now.
[Cordelia and Gunn stare at Wesley]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Without the ritualistic slayings, of course.
Cordelia Chase: Of course.

Charles Gunn: [to Anne] We were planning on changing it to the "Gunn Agency."
Cordelia Chase, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, we're not!
Charles Gunn: As soon as these two narcissists come to their senses.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to the Zombie Policeman] Wait! Officer, wait! This man is a friend of mine. A very good friend. I'm sure he hasn't committed any...
[the Zombie Policeman shoots Wesley]

Charles Gunn: Help me get Wesley.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Is anyone else cold?
Charles Gunn: It's okay, man. We gonna take you someplace warm. Help me pick him up! Come on! Come on!
Rondell: shot him. I shot a cop.
Charles Gunn: Not a lot of choice.
George: We gotta move!
Rondell: I killed a police officer. Look at him. He dead!
[the Zombie Policeman rises]
Charles Gunn: He don't look that dead.

Charles Gunn: Hey.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Hey.
Charles Gunn: How're you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I feel I should be in a great deal of pain.
Charles Gunn: Getting gut-shot will do that to you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And yet...
[looks at his I.V]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Is this morphine?
[Gunn nods]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, it's bloody lovely!
[laughs]


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Bad Girls (#3.14)" (1999)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
Buffy: I will?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pauses] Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie.
[she grins at Giles]

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah, this is perhaps Faith.
Faith: [eyes him] New Watcher?
Buffy, Rupert Giles: New Watcher.
Faith: Screw that.
[she turns and leaves]
Buffy: [to Giles] Now why didn't I just say that?
Rupert Giles: Eh, Buffy, would you...
Buffy: I'll see if I can get her back.
[to Wesley, snidely]
Buffy: Don't say anything incredibly interesting while I'm gone.
[she walks off]

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself, under controlled circumstances, of course.
Rupert Giles: No danger of finding those here.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Vampires?
Rupert Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol.
Buffy: Vampires.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes?
Buffy: Killed 'em.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I didn't get this job because of my looks.
Buffy: I really, really believe that.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: Preparation... preparation... preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're not helping.
Rupert Giles: I know. I feel just sick about it.


"Angel: Belonging (#2.19)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: What do you see?
Cordelia Chase: Moo...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Moo? Some sort of cow monster?
Cordelia Chase: Move! I think the sashimi's coming up.
[throws up]
Angel: They'll take that off the bill, right?

Angel: He's also got her wearing this flimsy swimsuit that covers, like... nothing.
[long pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Appalling.
Charles Gunn: Disgusting.
Angel: Right.

Angel: I mean, walking I get, but Power Walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.
Cordelia Chase: [gasps] A power walker did that?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Apparently she felt I disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it.
Cordelia Chase: This town sucks.

Cordelia Chase: I think I understand.
Angel: Understand what?
Cordelia Chase: The vision. This book. I think it's how we send him back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you mean?
Cordelia Chase: If he reads from the book where we know the portal exists, I think it'll send him back. My vision was telling me that that's what happened to that girl Fred. The portal works both ways.

[last lines]
Lorne: What say we all forget this ever happened?
Angel: I'm down with that. Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fine with me. Cordy? Cordy?
Angel: Cordy!
Cordelia Chase: [cut to Cordelia, who is realizing she's not in the Karaoke Bar anymore] Oh, crap!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [on the phone to his Father] I have news. I've been put in charge of our group... Yes, as their leader.


"Angel: Lineage (#5.7)" (2003)
Fred: [after Wesley kills a robot of his father] Part of you knew. Even if you can't admit it to yourself, part of you knew it wasn't him.
Wesley: No. I was sure it was him. You were there. I killed my father.
Fred: He was threatening your friends.
Wesley: He was threatening you. He pointed a gun at you, Fred... so I shot him.

Roger Wyndam-Pryce: As you may well know, the Watcher's Council was destroyed last year.
Wesley: I heard.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: The remaining former Watchers, myself included, have decided to reform the Council and I've been sent to contact you.
Wesley: Are you saying the Council wants me to come back?
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Not necessarily. Your name's proven to be a point of contention. There are some who believe that your tenure as Watcher ranks as our most embarrassing failure.
Wesley: Really? I beat out everybody dying in an explosion... as most embarrassing failure.

Wesley: Everyone, I'd like you to meet my father Roger Wyndam-Price.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Hello.
Spike: Daddy, eh? I always thought Wesley was grown in some sort of greenhouse for dandies.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Spike.
Spike: You've heard of me?
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: No. We've met. 1963, my colleagues and I fell upon you slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed two of my men before you escaped.
Spike: [awkward silence] Oh. How've you been?

Wesley: Lorne runs our entertainment division.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Entertainment division? Well, I can see how that would be very useful in the fight against evil.
Charles Gunn: You'd be amazed at how many horrible movies we've stopped.

Angel: [trying to comfort Wes after he had to shoot a robot he though was his father] You know... I killed my actual dad. It was one of the first things I did when I became a vampire.
Wesley: I hardly see how that's the same situation.
Angel: Yeah. I didn't really think that one through.
[moments later; Spike appears]
Spike: Don't know if you know this, but, uh, I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, and then she tried to shag me, so I had to, uh...
Wesley: [looks freaked out] Thank you. I'm... very comforted. Right.

Wesley: If you're here to tell me about how you killed your parents, perhaps it could wait for another time?


"Angel: Darla (#2.7)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: [to Angel about finding Darla] Am I the only one who thinks this is just a really bad idea?
Angel: We can't just sit around here waiting for Wolfram and Hart to make a move. It's time we got ahead of the game.
Cordelia Chase: This won't involve kidnapping again, will it?
Angel: All we're going to do is find her.
Cordelia Chase: And this would be the same woman that you didn't notice was in your bedroom every night for three weeks straight?
Angel: That was different.
Cordelia Chase: Different in the sitting-on-top-of-you sense, yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia has a point.
Cordelia Chase: Finally!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The last time Darla emerged, she wanted to be found. Now, she's out there among six million other people.
Cordelia Chase: She could be sitting on top of anybody!
Angel: Come on, guys. We're a detective agency. We investigate things. That's what we're good at.
Cordelia Chase: That's what we suck at. Let's face it, unless there's a website called "www dot oh by the way, we have Darla stashed here dot com", we're pretty much out of luck.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not going to be easy.
Cordelia Chase: Well, before, he said he could smell her.
[to Angel]
Cordelia Chase: How about, we cruise around with the top down, and you take big, big whiffs?
[there is no reaction]
Cordelia Chase: We'll wait until after the sun sets, obviously.
Charles Gunn: Big law firm. They gotta have housing for their out-of-towners, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "Out-of-towners"? It's not as if they flew her in from Miami. She was raised from the very depths of hell by an ancient and very dangerous ritual.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and...? They still gotta put her up, don't they. That's an expense. You're telling me, these lawyers haven't figured out a way to write that off?

Angel: All we're gonna do is find her.
Cordelia Chase: And this would be the same woman that you didn't notice was in your bedroom every night for, like, three weeks strait?
Angel: That was different.
Cordelia Chase: Different in the sitting right on top of you sense. Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia has a point.
Cordelia Chase: Finally!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The last time Darla emerged, she wanted to be found. Now, she's out there among six million other people.
Cordelia Chase: She could be sitting on top of anybody.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You yourself wondered for a hundred years without ever seeking redemption.
Angel: That's right. I sought her.

[first lines]
Angel: [without looking up] What is it, Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "It"? There's no "it". "It's" nothing, really. Just popping around, to see if everything's alright.
Angel: Fine.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, good. Good. You're certain?
Angel: Uh-huh. Good night.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good night.
Angel: You're still here.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Apparently. So... you're sure there's nothing on your mind? That is to say, nothing you'd like to perhaps, share.
Angel: Nope.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [flatly, after seeing dozens of sketches of Darla spread out over the floor] Really.

Angel: [Angel, in his office scans a large book. Wesley knocks and enters] Darla. Anglo-Saxon derivation. Meaning "dear one". It didn't come into common usage until more than a hundred years after she was born... He must've given it to her...
[closes the book]
Angel: I didn't even know her real name.
[Angel tosses the book onto his desk and rubs his eyes]
Angel: Any luck?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Not yet, no. We're working on it.
Angel: Something will come up.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes. That's my fear...
[Angel looks at him. Wesley pulls the door shut]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, you must admit your record when it comes to Darla has been spotty at best.
Angel: I killed her, Wesley. And she came back. They brought her back. And now I need to know why. Why like this? - Why human?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps human was the only way Wolfram and Hart could bring her back - at least and hope to control with any degree of success. Angel, I don't suppose it occurred to you that this might be why they've brought her back? You have all your attention focused on finding this one woman.
Angel: So you think Wolfram and Hart went to all this trouble just to keep me distracted? Take me out of the game?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It is possible. And, if that's the case...
Angel: It's working.

Charles Gunn: Want me to come with you?
Angel: No. This is something I have to do on my own.
[Cordelia brings him his car keys]
Angel: Thanks.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel...
Angel: I know, Wesley. I could be walking into a trap. I get that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not convinced you do.
Angel: Look, she asked for my help. I can't turn my back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. And you shouldn't... Not for one moment. You know better than anyone what she was.
Angel: What we were. And I also know what she's going through. And unlike me, maybe she wont have to go through it alone.
Cordelia Chase: You're not alone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You may be right. She may be experiencing all of this exactly as you did. But, Angel, - you yourself wondered for a hundred years, before ever seeking redemption.
Angel: That's right. I sought her.


"Angel: Eternity (#1.17)" (2000)
Rebecca Lowell: Oh, God. Who called ET?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Emma Thompson?
Cordelia: Entertainment Tonight, doofus.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're doomed.
Angel: Maybe we can make a break for it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Impossible.
Angel: Front exit?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We'd be spotted instantly.
Angel: Back door?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Blocked.
Angel: That's it, then. We're trapped.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We could try shouting "fire". It's not technically a *crowded* theater...
[pan out to show the pair watching Cordy's poor performance on stage]

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, this is good news, isn't it?
Angel: Depends on what's going to bother her more: being stalked or not being stalked.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Actresses.
Angel: Tell me about it.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What did you give him?
Rebecca Lowell: Does it matter?
Cordelia: Well, if he's all homicidal, I'm thinking, YEAH!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You walk a fine line, Angel. I don't envy you.
Angel: Wesley, nice moves up there.

Cordelia: Oh, great. He spent the night with the fantasy of millions. All alone, 'protecting' her.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're worried about the curse. I wouldn't be.
Cordelia: Hey, you weren't around the last time Angel went mental. I, on the other hand, was on the first wave of the clean-up crew. He knows perfect happiness, he goes evil. So don't tell me not to worry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's moment of true happiness occurred because he was with Buffy. You realize how rare that is - true happiness? And what are the odds he's find that with an actress.
Cordelia: What's that supposed to mean?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I was... I meant TV-actress.
Cordelia: Save it.


"Angel: Time Bomb (#5.19)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She still thinks she's the god-king of the universe.
Charles Gunn: So she's like a TV star.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. Nothing that bad.

Spike: So what sort of damage are we lookin' at if Illyria Chernobyls on us?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Conservative guess, several city blocks.
Angel: And what about unconservative?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Rand and McNally will have to redraw their maps.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I stabbed you. I should apologize for that, but I'm honestly not sure how. I think it'll just be awkward.
Charles Gunn: Good call.

Marcus Hamilton: Curing cancer, Mr Wyndam-Pryce?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wouldn't be cost-effective. I'm sure we make a lot from cancer.
Marcus Hamilton: Yes. The patent holder is a client.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Illyria?
Illyria: Touch me and die, vermin.
Spike: Not a very dramatic difference really.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not in love with this thing, Angel. But for some reason, I need it right now.
Angel: Yeah, that's just weird.


"Angel: I've Got You Under My Skin (#1.14)" (2000)
Angel: She's makin' brownies.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, is that what I smell? I thought I tracked something in.

[Cordelia is cutting brownies with Wesley's demon hunting knife]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That is not appropriate; it's for killing extinct demons. Angel, make her stop. That blade is very old. Who knows what kind of corrosive effect her cooking may have on it?
Cordelia Chase: Corrosive effect?
[pointing the knife at Wesley]
Angel: Cordelia, just put down the very sharp knife.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, they don't smell right.
Cordelia Chase: I think "Mister too much cologne" is the pot calling the kettle stinky.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A little Silas Eucalyptus Powder ingested by the host...
Cordelia Chase: Then what? Dad goes "grrr"? Head spins around?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Essentially.

Cordelia Chase: What is this stuff anyway? It's kind of pretty.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, it's the bodily excretions of an Ethros demon.
Cordelia Chase: No one could have said 'demon poo' before I touched it?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, before we go any further, I just want to assure you, inasmuch as we'll be fighting side by side... what that demon said before...
Angel: I know you're not planning to kill me, Wesley. But you're willing to, and that's good. Now come on.

Ethros Demon: I am Ethros. I corrupted the spirits of men before they had speech to name me. The child was but the last among tens of thousands. One more pure heart to corrupt, one more soul to suck dry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well chalk up one exciting failure. You didn't get that boy's soul.
Ethros Demon: Hmph. What soul? Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is? Nothing. That's what I found in the boy. No conscience, no fear, no humanity. Just a black void. I couldn't control him. I couldn't get out. I never even manifested until you brought me forth. I just sat there and watched as he destroyed everything around him, not for a belief in evil, not for any reason at all. That boy's mind was the blackest hell I've ever known.
Angel: The marbles. That was you.
Ethros Demon: When he slept, I could whisper in him. I tried to get him to end his life, even if it meant ending mine.
Angel: You sleepwalked him in front of the car.
Ethros Demon: I had given up... hope. I know you bring death, I do not fear it. The only thing I've ever feared is... in that house.


"Angel: Heartthrob (#3.1)" (2001)
[first lines]
Cordelia: I understand people who drink too much. I understand people who put a little note on the parking meter that says it's broken when it's not. I don't understand people who worship demons.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, especially a Lurite demon. The stink on that thing. You're a prince of the underworld, bro, take a Jacuzzi once in a while
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons.
[Cordelia yarns]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn't a Lurite, it was a Murite. A subspecies of the Lurite. The male sports a small telltale fin just behind the third shoulder.
Charles Gunn: So glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, we have to be a little obsessed, we're detectives who specialize in these things.
Cordelia: But... we're not sad.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. No, we're a happy and rambunctious lot if I ever saw one.

Cordelia: [about Angel] As soon as he works through his grief a little.
Charles Gunn: A little? Buff...
Cordelia: Don't say the "B" word!
Charles Gunn: The "B" word was the love of his life. And he's what, two hundred and fifty? That ain't no short life. This grief-work's gonna take more than a vacation in Sri Lanka.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It isn't a vacation, it's a spiritual retreat at a monastery.
Charles Gunn: Hmm. Angel and a buncha monks in the middle of nowhere. There's a party. He shoulda got hammered and gone to Vegas like I told him.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He doesn't need a lap dance, he needs some peace and quiet to work through this.

Cordelia: You guys amaze me. You'll fight hell beasts but you're scared of rats.
Charles Gunn: Man, I hate rats. Their little beady eyes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And their beady teeth.
Charles Gunn: And their little tails all...
[makes whooshing noises, wiggles his butt]

Charles Gunn: I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our social lives, but we have to. Work demands it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: True. I mean who's got time for love when you're out there doing it with the demons? Didn't that come out sad and wrong?
Cordelia: Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I need to get out more. Speaking of, did anyone talk to Fred, lately?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Gunn and I'll hit the streets; see what our sources can tell us.
Cordelia: Uh-huh. See? We have sources now.
Angel: Oh, you're almost like real detectives now.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Pylea] Fred was there five years. She was a slave, a runaway. They nearly chopped her head off. All those years she spent hiding out alone in that cave.
Charles Gunn: She survived. Girl's strong.
Cordelia: Girl's trading one cave for another. How strong is that?


"Angel: Orpheus (#4.15)" (2003)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Did the call of magic draw you here?
Willow: Oh, no. More like the call of Fred.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Did the call of magic send you here?
Willow Rosenburg: More like the call of Fred.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's only one thing we can do for Faith, now. Finish what she started.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: You mean, re-ensoul Angel?
Connor: Impossible. We've been over this. No jar, no soul. No soul, no Angel.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: It's not that simple, Connor. I-I've been doing some research...
Connor: It is simple. Angelus is all that's left. First he slaughtered Lilah, now he's killed Faith. And...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She's not dead yet.
Connor: You're lying to yourselves. You all think that I'm taking this personally so you don't have to, but inside you know I'm right. We need to put Angelus down.
Willow: I don't think so. I think you need a witch.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A lot's happened. Not just Angelus. I've been... I've changed. I've seen a darkness in myself. I'm not sure you'd even begin to understand...
Willow: I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh. So...
Willow: Darkness. Been there.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah. Well, I never flayed. I had a woman chained in a closet.
Willow: Oh, well hey!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, it doesn't compare.
Willow: No, dark. That's dark. You've been to a place.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You seem exactly the same as when I left. No other major changes I'm not up on?
Willow: Just little things. So, uh, Fred. What's her story?

[Faith and Willow are preparing to return to Sunnydale]
Faith: Wes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Faith.
Faith: [to Angel] See? Brits know how to say goodbye.
[turns to Wesley]
Faith: Angel wanted to hug.
Angel: [off Wesley's look] No, I didn't.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It leads you down to hell. And leaves you there.


"Angel: Are You Now or Have You Ever Been (#2.2)" (2000)
Angel: Watch his tentacles!
Cordelia: Excuse me?
Wes: Tentacles.
Cordelia: Oh.

Cordelia: Wesley!
[shows him a photo]
Cordelia: Look who was staying here in '52.
Wes: [spots Angel in the photo] Well, now we know one thing for certain.
Cordelia: Yep. It's not that vampires don't photograph, it's just that they don't photograph *well*.

Wes: Frank Gillnitz. He worked as a bellman the year Angel was in residence. We'll put him in '52.
Cordelia: But he wasn't executed until '54. Shouldn't we put him there?
Wes: He wasn't executed until '54, *but* the crime he committed, the murder of the salesman and the storing of the body in the hotel meat locker *that* occurred in '52.
Cordelia: It's kinda like a puzzle. The 'who died horribly 'cause Angel screwed up 50 years ago' game?

Wes: I've been accused of a great many things in my time, but paranoid has never been one of them, unless people have been saying it behind my back.

[last lines]
Wes: Angel, you don't find me especially paranoid, do you?
Angel: Not especially.
Wes: Oh, thank God. I was worried.

[first lines]
Wes: The Hyperion Hotel. It appears to be abandoned.
Angel: Sixty eight rooms, sixty eight vacancies.
Wes: In California Spanish, deco influence. I'd say built in the late nineteen twenties.
Angel: That'd be my guess.


"Angel: Billy (#3.6)" (2001)
[Wesley under the influence of a mysogynistic demon and is trying to hurt Fred]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you tell a woman who has two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already told her twice.
[Fred runs away]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No sense of humour.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fred, I tried to kill you.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: That wasn't you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How can you know that? Something inside me was forced to the surface. Something primal, something...
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Do you wanna kill me?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, God, no.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It wasn't something in you , Wesley. It was something that was done to you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I don't know what kind of man I am anymore.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Well, I do. You're a good man.

Cordelia: What's this?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Everything about the crime I believe you saw in your vision. Police reports, husband's written confession, captures from the video store's surveillance cameras, and, I have to caution all of you, the medical examiners crime-scene photos. Cordelia...
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't be looking at that.
Cordelia: Tell that to The Powers. They already ran the T.H.X. version in my head, remember?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Fred] Speaking of saliva, where is Cordelia?

[last lines]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Will I see you back at the office?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Good.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Fred, in tears] I'm so sorry.


"Angel: First Impressions (#2.3)" (2000)
[Gunn is looking for Angel and he's told Angel's sleeping]
Cordelia Chase: Maybe *we* can help.
Charles Gunn: You two? I find Deevak, I'm gonna need more than C-3PO and Stick-Figure Barbie backing me up, no offense.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Very little taken.

Wesley: [gasping] Gunn's in trouble. Can't breathe!
Angel: Gunn can't breathe?
Wesley: [still gasping] I can't breathe!
Angel: [lets go of Wesley's throat] Oh, sorry.
Wesley: [catches his breath] Oh, it's quite alright. Now, about the naked thing...

Cordelia Chase: [cleaning the Hyperion] Oh, this place is never gonna get clean.
Wesley: Buck up. It's just a little dust
Cordelia Chase: Oh, this isn't mere dust. This is 'son of dust'. This is the kind of dust that spawns countless generations of little baby dust. I give up.
Wesley: Very well. We'll just move our offices back to your living room.
Cordelia Chase: And I'm dusting.

Wesley: Well, we're hardly prepared to face a demon of Deevak's caliber in our current condition.
Charles Gunn: You ready to pack it in? Only reason I called you was 'cause y'all supposed to be the demon experts.
Angel: Wesley's right. Three vamps, we should have been able to take them all a lot easier and faster than we did. We need to regroup.
Charles Gunn: Maybe the rest of you need a little down time, but I'm gonna track down Jameel and make him talk.
Cordelia Chase: When you do find him, you may wanna be a little more Guy Pearce in "L.A Confidential" and a little less Michael Madsen in "Reservoir Dogs."
Charles Gunn: I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed at the Oscars for "Malcolm X." Later.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Angel attacks Wesley] Angel, it's me!
Angel: What are you doing here?

Wesley: Come on. What are you waiting for?
Angel: [holds up a pink motorcycle helmet] I-I-I really don't think it's gonna fit.
Wesley: Oh, of course it will. Put it on.
Angel: You know, I-I don't need a helmet for protection.
Wesley: Angel. It's the law in California. Do you want us to get pulled over?
Angel: No.
Wesley: Then what's the problem?
Angel: Well, it-it's just, you know... the whole... visibility issue, not to mention the whole hat-head thing and, you know, when you really think about it, how come I have to wear the ladies helmet?
Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on!
[Angel puts the pink helmet on]
Wesley: Looks good. Hop on board gorgeous.
Angel: You'll pay for this.


"Angel: Origin (#5.18)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Illyria] She's either counting oxygen molecules or analyzing the Petri dish she just put into her mouth. Or sleeping. I can never quite tell.
Angel: You sure this is a good idea?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We have plenty of Petri dishes.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She doesn't understand our world. She needs someone to guide her. She needs...
Angel: When was the last time you slept? You're not her savior. I need you here, working, not off drinking yourself into a coma, chasing ghosts. Fred's dead, Wes. You're still alive. Start acting like it.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Illyria can be... difficult. Testing her might be hard without getting someone seriously hurt.
Angel: We'll make Spike do it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You changed the world.
Angel: He's my son, Wesley. Connor's my son.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [long pause] Did you trade her? Did you trade Fred for your son?
Angel: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Everything that's happened since we took over Wolfram & Hart, everything that's happened to... her... Did you know? Was Fred the price?
Angel: No. Wes... I can explain. Just put that down.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why are you so afraid of this? He said it would bring back the past. Will it undo what you've done?
Angel: No. It won't bring her back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let's find out.
[He motions like he's going to throw the glass cube to the ground]
Angel: No! Please. You have to trust me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I can't. Not anymore.
[Wesley slams the glass cube into the ground. As it shatters, the cube releases an explosion of bright yellow light, sending everyone in the room back from the blast]

Illyria: You betrayed Angel. You stole his son. He tried to kill you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes.
Illyria: Are these the memories you needed back? Does this now make you Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: At least I know what happened.
Illyria: Do you? There are two sets of memories. Those that happened and those that are fabricated. It's hard to tell which is which.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Try to push reality out of your mind. Focus on the other memories. They were created for a reason.
Illyria: To hide from the truth?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: To endure it.


"Angel: The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco (#5.6)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
Spike: Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playin' Agatha Christie.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Spike: Called shotgun, mate.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh. I thought we were doing a weapons check.
Charles Gunn: Nothin' wrong with that. We may need these bad boys if we're goin' up against some Mexican Day of the Dead heart-suckin' monster.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile...
[Angel interrupts by pulling a screeching U-Turn]
Spike: Always was a bit of a drama queen.

Angel: Wes, did you ever hear that the devil built a robot?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [in awe] El Diablo Robotico.
[pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Nobody ever tells me anything.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Remind me again how you ended up in the front seat?
Spike: I called shotgun.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh. I thought we were doing a weapons check.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Three people found with their hearts cut out in East Los Angeles, all within the last couple of hours. The police are on it, but my sense is it's more demonic than some murderous nut job.
Spike: So we're ruling out demonic nut jobs, then, are we?

Angel: So it's eating the hearts of heroes, and their blood is what keeps it alive.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: Yeah, but it does more than that. It acts like a kind of supercharged rocket fuel. Makes it, you know...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nigh invulnerable.
Spike: Oh, I could kill it. I mean, ghostiness to the contrary. Well, come on, lads. Everything has an Achilles heel.
Angel: And you just so happen to know this creature's Achilles heel?
Spike: Well, I wager it's the heart.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: [She looks at her computer screen] You see that in the science?
Spike: No, luv, in the poetry. We're dealing with a mythic creature here, a kill-or-be-killed kind of creature. If I was gonna kill something that was trying to take my heart, I'd try to bloody well take its heart first.


"Angel: Through the Looking Glass (#2.21)" (2001)
[still looking at his hair]
Angel: I don't get it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, the Host knows this world. We need to ascertain...
Angel: No, I mean why didn't anybody tell me about this?

[first lines]
Angel: One... Two... Three...!
Cordelia Chase: [Cordelia clears her throat] Hi, guys.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia?
Charles Gunn: No way!
Angel: You're safe?
Cordelia Chase: A little bit. They made me ruler.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But this is fantastic.
Cordelia Chase: Well... It's not like my throne couldn't use a few extra cushions. But I'm really not gonna complain because well... throne.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can order them to release us?
Cordelia Chase: Yes, I really could.
Constable Narwek: Shall we gut the cows now, that you might dine on their ignoble flesh, Oh Most High?
Cordelia Chase: You're most high if you think that is gonna happen. Besides, shouldn't there be some extended groveling first?
Angel: Cordelia?
Cordelia Chase: Okay. Off with their heads!
[the Pyleans pull out their swords]
Cordelia Chase: Kidding.

Cordelia Chase: How did you get in?
Charles Gunn: Same way you did. Opened the portal, with the book.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We uhh... seem to have misplaced it.
Cordelia Chase: The portal or the book?
Charles Gunn: Both.
Cordelia Chase: I don't know about portals, but they've got books here. Those Trombonal guys, they used one when they swore me in.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've got to see those.
Cordelia Chase: In quite a hurry to get back to the "Cordelia is not a Princess" dimension, aren't ya?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Cordelia] Yes, the metaphysical laws which govern our world don't seem to apply here.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [seeing a picture of a deer] Fascinating, a hart.
Cordelia Chase: It's not a heart, it's a "Bambi".


"Angel: That Vision Thing (#3.2)" (2001)
Charles Gunn: Five herb shops in Chinatown. We've been to four. How come whatever we're searchin' for is always in the last place we look?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Ah... ahem... A sleuth, a gumshoe, a Sherlock.
Charles Gunn: All I know is, you use the word "dick" again, and we're gonna have a problem. So what's the name of this place anyway?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Van Hoa Dong. It should be up here on the left.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Gunn] No, Gunn, you misunderstand. I mean, I'm not saying that we act differently. I just think we should be gentle in our...

Charles Gunn: [describing Cordelia's visions to Fred] What Cordelia means is that she doesn't choose to have a vision. The Powers send them to her, when they got info to share.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Think of them as gifts.
Cordelia: Yes, "having my head torn open and hot lava poured into my skull" gifts.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Gavin Park] Well, now that we've had this lovely reintroduction, - I suggest you piss off.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about the key] Something you probably won't like to hear is that both artifacts are considered objects of good.
Angel: Oh. So the Chinese guy and the boil guy...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Were also aligned with the forces of good.
Angel: Damn! So hard to tell these days, you know, they should wear lapel pins or something.


"Angel: That Old Gang of Mine (#3.3)" (2001)
Angel: What's this one?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Samuel Larch, a bookie. Merl owed him quite a lot of money.
Angel: Demon or human?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not sure.
Angel: Care to find out?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Demon, then.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It was them. They killed Merl and the others.
[to Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You knew.
Charles Gunn: I should have said something. I was going to. I was just... I was trying to work it out, man. Figure how to deal.
Lorne: So, have you worked it out yet?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Rondell] If you don't mind I'd prefer a clean kill. The last time I was merely wounded. It took months to heal. Wounded, if I recall, in an attempt to help you.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Gunn] If you ever withhold information or attempt to subvert me again, I will fire you. I can't have any one member of this team compromising the safety of the group, no matter who it is. If you do it again, you will be dismissed, bag and baggage, out of a job onto the streets.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This is madness. Angel has a soul.
Gio: He's a vampire.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: With a soul!
Gio: Whatever. You think that makes him the same as us?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. Better. Better than you, anyway. When he did his pleasure killing he had no soul. You can make no such claim.


"Angel: Five by Five (#1.18)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If there's even a chance she could be reasoned with...
Angel: There was. Last year, I had a shot at saving her. I was pulling her back from the brink when some British guy kidnapped her and made damn sure that she'd never trust another living soul.
Cordelia Chase: Angel, it's not Wesley's fault that *some* British guy ruined your- Oh, wait.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: That was you.
[to Angel]
Cordelia Chase: Go on.

Cordelia Chase: I'm gonna pack a bag.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia, please. Just a few things. We're not going on safari.

Cordelia Chase: Phantom Dennis, let us in. It's alright. It's only Wesley.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Dennis your ghost, I presume?
Cordelia Chase: Yes. He's jealous.
[to Dennis]
Cordelia Chase: Don't worry, hell will freeze over before I have sex with him.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Thank goodness for small favors.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Seems you're taking this personally.
Angel: Well, she tried to shoot my own personal back, so yeah.

Angel: Help me track her down. I want you two to check police reports - beatings, killings - anything within the last week, possibly near bus stations and bars. And then you make yourselves scarce. I don't want to give her any free targets.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You've been targeted by a psychotic! I'm certainly not going to run and hide.
Cordelia Chase: I like the plan where I'm scarce.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We've got to band together. Strength in numbers.
Cordelia Chase: Two is a number.


"Angel: Quickening (#3.8)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's right. Clearly something wants this thing to come to term. We'll wait for it to be born, then we'll chop its head off.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: W-What if it doesn't have a head?
Cordelia: We're gonna need a really big mallet.
Charles Gunn: If it skitters, we should have a net or somethin'. Maybe a flamethrower.
Angel: Flamethrower? No, there'll be no throwing of flames!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's right. Clearly something wants this thing to come to term... We'll wait for it to be born, then we'll chop its head off.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: W-What if it doesn't have a head?
Cordelia: We're gonna need a really big mallet.
Charles Gunn: If it skitters, we should have a net or somethin'... Maybe a flamethrower.
Angel: Flamethrower? No, there'll be no throwing of flames!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Actually...
Cordelia: God! I hate it when you say that word, "actually". "Actually" means that your oversized, gi-normous brain thought of something that the rest of us failed to consider. Right?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [completing an ultrasound on Darla] Well, then, let's take a look, shall we? You know, I haven't studied one of these in quite a while.
Angel: Isn't that a head?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it is. Or is that the head?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Maybe, you're both right.
[everyone glares at her]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not like I'm suggesting it's an evil two-headed thing.
Cordelia: [looking at Darla's baby on the ultrasound screen] I see it.
Darla: My little parasite.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, my...
Angel: What is it?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's human.
Charles Gunn: Human, as in humanoid? As in cannibalistic, humanoid underground dwellers?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. Human as in... a boy.
Angel: A boy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A boy. A boy.
[to Darla]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're carrying a boy.
Darla: Great.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Darla] Her water's broken. This is for real. Should be a blanket in the trunk.
Cordelia: What are we gonna do? Deliver the kid right here?Shouldn't we go somewhere?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What's keeping Angel?
Darla: [screaming in pain] No! No!


"Angel: Happy Anniversary (#2.13)" (2001)
Virginia Bryce: I'll call Patty and tell her you'll take the job.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, sweetie, no phone.
Cordelia Chase: Also, no lights.
Charles Gunn: And there's a funky smell.
Virginia Bryce: I wasn't gonna say anything.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: When they went out of business, they just left these here.
Cordelia Chase: Yep. Also the desk. We'll share.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And when we go out of business, we can just leave our stuff for the next guy.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [from under the desk, trying to fix the phone] Aha! Things are looking up. I think I found the right wire. Ah!
[The lights go out.]
Charles Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really.

[Virginia finds Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn sulking in their run-down new office]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sorry, sweetheart. You just caught us in a moment of... Well...
Cordelia Chase: Reality.
Virginia Bryce: Oh, - that. I avoid that.
Charles Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia Bryce: Money. It cures everything but boredom
[holds up a basket of food]
Virginia Bryce: and food cures boredom, so there you go. Imported chips and packets of cheese.
Charles Gunn: Thanks.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We'll enjoy them huddled 'round our pathetic candles.
Cordelia Chase: We'll make pathetic nachos.
Virginia Bryce: You guys are really down.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and don't try to tell us there's nowhere to go but up. Because the truth is, there's always more down.

[last lines]
Man: Well, umm... Which one of you is Angel?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's just a name.


"Angel: The Ring (#1.16)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: "Demons, Demons, Demons." Wow. They put a lot of thought into that title.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's a demon database. What would you call it?
Cordelia Chase: I don't know. How 'bout..."Demon Database"?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah. A name rife with single entendre.

Cordelia Chase: Why isn't Wolfram & Hart in here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Mm, because they're lawyers, not demons.
Cordelia Chase: Fine line, you ask me.

Cordelia Chase: We weren't gonna let anything happen to you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No.
Cordelia Chase: Well, I mean, beyond the slavery and the severe beatings and stuff!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about a demon] He wrote "claw-like hands."
Cordelia Chase: Could be a mixed breed. Smell?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sulfuric.
Cordelia Chase: Add a Porsche and hair plugs and I've dated this guy. A lot.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Enemies (#3.17)" (1999)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.
Rupert Giles: Demons after money. What ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Rupert Giles: There's a reference here to the journal of Desmond Kane, pastor of a town called Sharpsville. "May 26, 1723. Tomorrow is the Ascension. God help us all." It was the last anyone heard.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Of Kane?
Rupert Giles: Of Sharpsville.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Find anything?
Rupert Giles: Six course banquet of nothing with a scoop of sod all as a palette cleanser.

Cordelia Chase: What are you doing Friday night?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Uh, uh, as always my sacred duty as a Watcher prevents me from... Why?
Cordelia Chase: I have a paper to write for English, and you're English, so I thought...
[at everyone's looks]
Cordelia Chase: What? Is it so wrong to be getting an insider's perspective?
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: I study best in a good restaurant, around eightish? Think it over?
[she leaves]
Xander: And on the day the words "flimsy excuse" were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.


"Angel: Habeas Corpses (#4.8)" (2003)
Wes: There is a line, Lilah, black and white, good and evil.
Lilah: Funny thing about black and white. You mix it together and you get grey. And it doesn't matter how much white you try and put back in, you're never gonna get anything but grey.

Wes: I can't do this anymore.
Lilah: Yeah, yeah, I heard that a million times, cowboy. We both know how this song ends. You, me, broken furniture.

Angel: You know where it is. The beast.
Wes: Inside Wolfram and Hart. And so is...
Charles Gunn: Well that answers a lot of questions. They're probably havin' a big sit-down, breakin' bread.
Wes: It's killing everything that moves in there.
Charles Gunn: I've heard worse news.

Charles Gunn: What the hell was that?
Wes: Zombies.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, thanks for the newsflash, Captain Obvious.


"Angel: To Shanshu in L.A. (#1.22)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What connects us to life is a simple truth that we're a part of it. We live, we grow, we change. But Angel...
Cordelia: Can't do any of those things.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [researching Angel's destiny] Uh, oops. I may have made a tiny mistake. Uh, the word "shanshu" that I said meant you were going to die? Actually, I think it means you're going to live.
Cordelia: Okay, as tiny mistakes go, that's not one!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about the word 'shanshu' in the scroll] This word is *pivotal* to what it prophesies about the vampire with a soul.
Cordelia: Well, hurry up and figure out what it says about Angel, cos I wanna know what it says about me. If there's torrid romance in my future? Massive wealth? If I have to, I'll settle for enviable fame.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's an ancient sacred text, not a magic 8-ball.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, I hope I'm wrong about all this, but it might be a good time to consult the Oracles.
Angel: I don't need to see the Oracles about this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, think about it.
Cordelia: [encouragingly] Oracles... Get out of the house... Could be fun.
[Cut to the chamber of the Oracles]
Female Oracle: How dare you enter this sacred space?
Male Oracle: Who do you think you are?
Female Oracle: We do not appreciate being summoned by a lower being.
Male Oracle: Who knows no better than to come here on a whim.
Vocah Demon: I'm not here on a whim.
Female Oracle: We do not counsel your kind. The powers of darkness are not allowed to cross this threshold. How did you get past it?
Vocah Demon: The old order passes away and the new order's come. He that was first shall now be last and he that was dead shall now arise.
Female Oracle: Yes, and he that is trespassing shall now depart.
[Vocah puts a hand behind his back]
Male Oracle: We shall speak no more.
[a battle scythe grows in Vocah's hand]
Vocah Demon: Yes, I know.


"Angel: Smile Time (#5.14)" (2004)
[Angel, as a puppet, gets more and more angry while watching "Smile Time"]
Angel: Wes, put the Special Ops team on Red Alert!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Red Alert?
Angel: I want helicopters and tear gas!
Gunn: Angel, we...
Angel: This is WAR!
Lorne the Host: Angel, baby, muppet, pumpkin, um... this show is number one in it's time slot. Tykes love it all across the southland. We can't just toss a Jihad at their studio.
Angel: Ohh, right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This transformation may have altered your stress-response mechanism.
Angel: What?
Gunn: He's saying you have the proportionate excitability of a puppet your size.

[about Nina's advances]
Wesley: How did you respond?
Angel: Well, of course I ignored it completely, changed the subject and locked her in a cage.

[about Nina]
Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy! That guy is charming and funny and... emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit and 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Get over it!
Angel: Why are you yelling at me?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Because! Angel, if there's a woman out there, who you find truly attractive, who you think about, let's say, most of the time, who represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for, and who doesn't view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on, you have to do something about it.


"Angel: Conviction (#5.1)" (2003)
[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Spike!
Angel: Spike.
Harmony: Blondie Bear?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like three minutes?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: That's so sweet - and a tad condescending.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Don't you think it's a bit unseemly adding Y's to the ends of people's names?
Charles Gunn: Does that mean I have to call you 'Wesle'?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Pretty powerful position for a young woman.
Eve: How exactly can you be sure I'm either of those things?


"Angel: Just Rewards (#5.2)" (2003)
Lorne: Honey of a story.
Wesley: Story?
Lorne: Yeah. The Vampire Slayer both men loved, both men lost. Oh, I could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat. I-I see Depp and Bloom. But then, I see them a lot.
[Wes has an annoyed look]
Lorne: Sorry. Hazard of running the Entertainment Division. Gotta get out more.

Spike: And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I've got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by...
Fred: Excuse me?
Wes: Did - Did you just say - Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club. Another vampire with a soul in the world.
Angel: You're not *in* the world, Casper.

[Spike materializes in Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart, and bends over in pain, then realizes he's facing some familiar faces and some strangers]
Spike: What? What?
Harmony: What the hell are you doing here, Spike?
Wesley: Harmony, please.
Gunn: This is Spike? *The* Spike?
Fred: Wait a minute. Who's...
Lorne: [calmly, to Spike] Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you.
Gunn: Speak for yourself, Green Jeans.
Fred: OK, would somebody please tell me who...
Wesley: William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to...
Angel: Me. But you're dead.
Harmony: Well, yeah. Who here isn't?
[looks around]
Harmony: Besides him and him and her and...
[to Lorne]
Harmony: What are you, again?
Spike: [lunges at Angel in game-face, but goes right through him and winds up standing in Angel's desk] Bugger.

[about the amulet]
Wesley: Do you have any memory of a strange sensation when it released its energy?
Spike: What, you mean my skin and muscle burning away from the bone? Organs exploding in my chest? Eyeballs melting in the sockets? No. No memory at all. Thanks for asking.


"Angel: Underneath (#5.17)" (2004)
Illyria: Tell me a joke.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Two men walk into a bar. The first man orders a scotch and soda. The second man remembers something he'd forgotten, and it doubles him over with pain. He falls to the floor shaking and then through the floor into the earth. He looks back up at the first man, but he doesn't call out to him. They're not that close.

Illyria: And now nightmares are trapped inside the heads of humans... pitiful echoes of themselves. I wonder whom they angered so to merit such a fate.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This world must be a terrible disappointment to you.
Illyria: Grievous.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not too impressed with it myself.

Illyria: You don't worship me at all, do you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you really can't leave.
Illyria: I... don't know. And I fear in any other dimension in this form I'd be but prey to those I knew. I reek of humanity.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Don't flatter yourself.
Illyria: Your world is so small. And yet you box yourselves in rooms even smaller. You shut yourselves inside... in rooms, in routines.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There are things worse than walls. Terrible... and beautiful. If we look at them for too long they will burn right through us. Truths we couldn't bear. Not every day.
Illyria: We are so weak.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes. Yes, we are.

Illyria: You've been sitting for a long time.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah. Dozed off.
Illyria: You drank a great deal of that poison, you called me a lot of names meant to hurt feelings I no longer have, and then you sat there for hours making noise with your nose.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I was dreaming, you twit.


"Angel: Blood Money (#2.12)" (2001)
[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You think I don't have what it takes?
Charles Gunn: I know you don't have what it takes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I guess we'll just have to find out.

Charles Gunn: [playing Risk] And now I rule Europe, Australia and South America!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've still got Kamchatka.
Charles Gunn: Three-fifths of the world covered in water, the rest covered in me. Ha-ha! Who's your ruler, baby? What's my name? Come on English, say it, dog.

Cordelia Chase: Fun as it is having you guys over day and night, it's getting kind of late.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's only seven thirty.
Cordelia Chase: Really? Oh, in that case... Get out!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What if you have a vision?
Cordelia Chase: I'll call you.
Charles Gunn: What if Angel...?
Cordelia Chase: I thought we weren't gonna say the "A" word.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, let's not say the "A" word. Let's just spend out lives sitting around waiting for him to call.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're not waiting for him to call. The man fired us. We're on our own now. A separate unit, fighting the good fight.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, right. With no plan, or office or business cards of our own.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's never gonna call, is he? Right, I'll tell you the first thing we're scrapping: These stupid calling cards.
Cordelia Chase: They are not stupid. I designed them. That's an angel.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The universal symbol of the one thing we don't have.
Charles Gunn: That's an angel? Looks like a lobster with a growth or... We'll make our own logo.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, something sleek, but edgy.
Charles Gunn: Something that says: "You need help, we're there".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Exactly. "Danger is our business. We'll catch you when you fall".
Charles Gunn: Yeah, I like that.
Cordelia Chase: [Cordelia has a vision and falls] Guys...

Charles Gunn: So it's big.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Big.
Charles Gunn: And fire breathing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Breathing.
Charles Gunn: Big, two-headed, fire-breathing...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think we all have the picture, Gunn. He's not a teddy bear and he probably shouldn't be attending the Kenyard School for Girls.
Charles Gunn: You know, right about now I wouldn't mind...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Don't say it! We don't have him and it's not going to do any good wishing we did!
Charles Gunn: I was gonna say some dynamite.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, dynamite.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Graduation Day: Part 1 (#3.21)" (1999)
Buffy: Okay, ready?
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy: On 3. 1...
[pulls out arrow]
Angel: Ahh. I knew you were gonna do that.
Giles: Not too much blood here.
Angel: I heal pretty fast. I should be all right.
Buffy: I'm just glad Faith's such a suck shot.
Giles: We're sure it was her?
Buffy: Well, I've narrowed down my list of one suspect.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fascinating.
Giles: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It seems our Mr. Worth headed an expedition in Kauai, digging through old lava beds near a dormant volcano.
Buffy: I'm not fascinated yet.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption.
Giles: A carcass?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A very large one. Mr. Worth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.
Angel: A demon?
Giles: Well, yes, that would be something that the-the mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, then it means that... well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension. In its demon form, it can be killed.
Buffy: Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved.
Angel: Well, it's a start anyway...
[he tries to stand up]
Buffy: Ok, you have been a real klutz today. You need to...
Angel: Damn.
[he falls to the ground]

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm sorry, uh, Lohesh was a four-winged soul killer, am I right? I was given to understand that they're not that fierce. Of all the demons we've faced...
Anya: You've never seen a demon.
Buffy: Uh, excuse me, killing them professionally four years running.
Anya: All the demons that walk the Earth, are tainted, are human hybrids, like vampires. The Ascension means that a human becomes pure demon. They're different.
Giles: Different?
Buffy: How?
Anya: Well, for one thing, they're bigger.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The Council's orders are to concentrate on the A...
Buffy: Orders? I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more orders. Not from you. Not from them.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't turn your back on the Council.
Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [telling Buffy about a new assignment] You will go tonight. Look over his apartment. Anything of note, report back here.
Buffy: I just love it when you take charge, you man, you.


"Angel: Carpe Noctem (#3.4)" (2001)
[first lines]
Charles Gunn: Hey, Fred.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Sorry, did I startle you guys?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No.
Cordelia Chase: Only in the sense of shocking and jolting us. What's up?

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [about her "date" with Angel] And even though he didn't talk a lot, it was still okay. It was comfortable. It wasn't that awkward kind of quiet. You know that awkward kind of quiet?
[there is a moment of silence]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, that's never happened to me.

Angel: [as Marcus] Hey. How're you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Alright. Well... you?
Angel: [as Marcus] So, we gotta talk. The thing is, I've got nothing against you personally. It's just...
[Wes looks at him]
Angel: ...Oh, this is gonna be harder than I-I thought. I just don't know how to spit this out.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel. Whatever it is, you know I'm here for you.
[Wes goes to touch Angel's knee]
Angel: [as Marcus gets out of the chair before Wesley touches him] Yeah. That may be the problem. I mean, whatever we... had... whatever we... did. I just think that we should keep that... behind us. Start from scratch. You know, two men working side by side. But, you know, none of that funny stuff.
[Wesley looks at Angel oddly]
Angel: Shake on that?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I guess.
[Wesley takes Angel's hand, who gives it a hearty shake, then pulls Wesley into a hug.]
Angel: [as Marcus] Hey, all right. Gimme a hug.
Cordelia Chase: Wesley, food's here.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Okay.
Angel: [as Marcus] Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes?
Angel: [as Marcus] Do you know where Fred is?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Um up in her room I'd expect.
Angel: [as Marcus] Her room. Right. Somebody say something about food? I could eat a horse.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [finding out where Angel as Marcus had sex] I don't believe it, on my desk?
Charles Gunn: Well, it did used to be his. Maybe he was just kind of... reclaiming it?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How? By marking it? This isn't like him.
Cordelia Chase: What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Brunette, she was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia Chase: You're right, this isn't like him.


"Angel: Untouched (#2.4)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's so typical of your kind.
Cordelia Chase: Well, at least I'm not a sheep like you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I am not a sheep!
Cordelia Chase: You are such a sheep! You've never had a single opinion that you didn't read in a book.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: At least I've opened a book.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, don't even try with the snooty, wooly boy. I was top ten percent of my class!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What class? Advanced Bosoms?
Cordelia Chase: OH!
Angel: Hey! What the hell's goin' on here?
Cordelia Chase: We were just discussing whether or not we should offer to pay Gunn.
Angel: No, you weren't.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, our discussions tend to go about three minutes, then it's strictly name calling and hair pulling.
Cordelia Chase: Ebeneezer here doesn't wanna share the wealth.

Cordelia Chase: I can't get this bandage to... Stop moving!
Angel: I'm not.
Cordelia Chase: Well, then stop breathing.
Angel: I don't breathe.
Cordelia Chase: Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's an ugly looking wound.
Angel: It doesn't feel pretty either.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We should definitely approach this girl with caution. I guess you already figured that out.
Angel: She's very powerful. We gotta find out everything we can about her.
Cordelia Chase: Like, oh, say, her name?
Angel: I was impaled at the time.
Cordelia Chase: Of course. Perfectly understandable.
Angel: Do you know how hard it is to think straight with a re-bar through your torso?
Cordelia Chase: Actually, I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education. No address or anything?
Angel: She said she was staying with a friend.
Cordelia Chase: Well, that narrows it down to people with friends.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: Where do we keep that list?

Angel: Would you like some tea?
Bethany Chaulk: Yeah, please.
Cordelia Chase: You shouldn't worry. Angel does this kind of thing all the time.
Bethany Chaulk: Makes tea?
Cordelia Chase: Helps people. You know, he helps people with problems.
Bethany Chaulk: [to Cordelia] So what's wrong with you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Where to begin?

Cordelia Chase: What did you say to her?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I mentioned her father.
Cordelia Chase: Well, who's her father?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, it's- The sort of trauma that can produce this level of psychic power usually involves abuse of some kind, very early on. You'd mentioned a sexual vibe, she made that crack about family business. Statistically speaking, the father was the best guess.
Cordelia Chase: There's not enough yuck in the world.


"Angel: Life of the Party (#5.5)" (2003)
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I am totally drunk-faced.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cause you can't hold your... what are you drinking again?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Nothing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't hold that.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Well, how much have you had?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [inspects his bottle very carefully] Well, about a third of a half of this beer.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Drunk] That's weird, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Also drunk] Yes, I think so. I think that's weird.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: There's Gunn. Let's go ask him if that's weird.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on?
[Gunn turns toward Wesley without moving his hands, which are together just below his waist]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Charles, you just peed on my shoes.
Gunn: [Looks down, confused] I'll be damned.
[zips his zipper]
Gunn: That's weird.

Spike: [Very cheery] Hey, is this a great party or what?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: OK, something is definitely wrong with this picture.
Spike: [Still eerily cheery] This might be the greatest song ever written!
[dances, moving his head, singing along]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes. We appear to be under the effect of something, a spell.
Gunn: Spike, how long have you been, you know... this?
Spike: It's great, isn't it? I don't know. Happened a bit after I talked with Angel and Lorne. Yeah. Lorne told me to think positively.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Lorne's doing it - something to all of us.
Lorne: [Defensive] I am not!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Everything he's told us to do, we're doing. Spike's thinking positive, Gunn is peeing all over the office.


"Angel: War Zone (#1.20)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: I've missed that smell.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia Chase: What? No, money. I like to smell a little money once in a while.
Angel: She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office sometime and watch her. It's uncanny.

David Nabbit: Are you familiar with Dungeons and Dragons?
Angel: Yeah, I've seen a few.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You mean the, uh, role-playing game.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [after saving Angel] You should've tried to call us on your cell phone. You probably forgot you had it.
Angel: [Fishing phone out of his pocket] Those things hardly ever work. Besides, it was a lot easier and quicker to just - Look, I'm the boss here. I say when we use the cell phones... and people are gonna die and I have to go.


"Angel: Waiting in the Wings (#3.13)" (2002)
Angel: I was thinking now. You guys should go back. I'll snoop.
Cordelia Chase: I'm with snoopy. Magic of the ballet, not really getting to me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So, what are we thinking? Vampires?
Cordelia: Well, they're not a deeply tanned bunch.
Charles Gunn: That would explain the precision and the athleticism. I mean, some of those jumps were-
[everyone looks at him]
Charles Gunn: You know, I was cool before I met y'all.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Someone's in pain.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Either that or someone's in fun.


"Angel: Hell-Bound (#5.4)" (2003)
Gunn: Got it. The dark soul.
Angel: What's it say?
Gunn: A lot. There are over 3,200 different references. Four of them are about you.
Angel: What? Give me that.
Wes: This is getting us nowhere.
Angel: Let me see this. Well, that's not fair. I didn't even have a soul when I did that.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: How fast can I get 'em?
Wes: Half of these are antiquities of the rarest order. If I exploit every connection I've made over the last month as the new head of research and intelligence... 20 minutes.

Wes: Angel does have a point. Spike has been unintentionally disapparating more and more frequently.
Gunn: Give him 20 minutes. He'll be popping up next to you in the bathroom, making cracks about your... Am I the only one he does that to?


"Angel: Long Day's Journey (#4.9)" (2003)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: As far as evil plans go, it doesn't suck.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's only one way we're going to defeat this Beast.
[dramatic pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We need Angelus.

[the Beast has revealed that he once met Angelus]
Angel: I'm telling you, I don't know this Beast!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, but Angelus does.


"Angel: Power Play (#5.21)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia gave you her visions?
Angel: It was only a one-shot deal. The vision didn't hit me until later that night. I knew then about the Black Thorn and who was behind the Apocalypse, but I couldn't see their faces. I was aware of where the power was, but didn't know who. Then Fred died and I didn't want that to be another awful thing in an awful world so I decided to use it... to make her death matter. And it worked. I'm in. I've seen the faces of evil in the Black Thorn. I know who the real powers in the Apocalypse are.
Gunn: So, what you said earlier about power...
Angel: I was telling the truth about that. Wolfam & Hart is like a machine. That machine has been around since the dawn of time and it will be around long after our bodies are dust and bones. The Senior Partners and Wolfram & Hart will always exist in one form or another because mankind is weak.
Lorne the Host: Someone might want to hand me the crossbow, 'cause I think he gonna start talking about ants again.
Angel: WE are weak. The powerful control everything... except our will to choose. Lindsey may be a pathetic half-wit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it. The Senior Partners may be eternal, but we can make their existence painful.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You want to take them on? The Senior Partners?
Angel: Why not? Wolfram & Hart is a machine. We're in the machine. The Black Thorn runs it. They are the closest thing to the Senior Partners in this plane of existence. If we wipe out the Black Thorn, we can tip the scales in our favor. Bring Wolfram & Hart's gears and the Apocalypse to a grinding halt, even if it's just for a moment or two.
Spike: About time we got our hands dirty.

Drogyn: It was a Sathari, part of a clan of demon assassins. They fell upon me last night at the Deeper Well. The poison from his four blades wearing heavy on my limbs...
Spike: [cutting him off] Yeah, rousing bit of rah-rah, mate. Get to the goods. Tell them what you told me.
Drogyn: Once I bested him, I tortured the Sathari for hours, until he confessed to me who sent him. It was Angel.
Spike: Tell them why.
Drogyn: He said that Angel was afraid I'd find something in the Deeper Well... something that would uncover the truth about his involvment.
Gunn: In what?
Drogyn: Helping Illyria escape from her tomb.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I thought the release of her sarcophagus from the Deeper Well was predestined.
Drogyn: That's what I thought at the time, but now I belive... Illyria's resurrection may have been planned.
Gunn: By Angel?
Lorne the Host: Oh, that doesn't make a lick of sense. Why would Angel want to spring an Old One?
Drogyn: I don't think that was the point.
Gunn: Then what was?
Drogyn: Before he died, the assasin said something about a sacrifice. Someone... trusted and dear.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Are you saying that Angel... was responsible for what happened to Fred?
Drogyn: I mean, he may not have chosen her specifically, but...
Lorne the Host: Whoa! Let's but a kibosh on that sentence before it turns into an ass-kicking.
Drogyn: Do you think I gain pleasure in this? I held Angel as an ally, a brother.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you belive he may have murdered Fred?
Drogyn: I know this is difficult for you, but Angel was involved. The information I retreived from the assasin...
Gunn: Did you ever think that the demon assasin was lying to you?
Drogyn: No one lies when they're in extreme pain... at the mercy of my wrath.
Gunn: Then you're the liar, Aragon.
Spike: He has to tell the truth. He cannot lie. It's a curse or something.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Spike's right. This is Drogyn, the battlebrand, given eternal youth a thousand years ago. Demon bane, truth sayer... Watchers council.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Business. What "business" are we in, Angel?
Angel: Do I really have to explain this to you people? We're in the business of business. Oil, software, worldwide wickets... the product doesn't matter. It's the game that matters. Get to the top, be the best, have the most, win.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Win what?
Angel: You're still missing the point.
Gunn: That Angel talking? 'cause it sounds a lot more like Angelus.
Angel: If I was Angelus, half of you would already be dead, just for the fun of it.
Spike: One of us already is. Having fun yet?
Angel: You wanna know the truth? The truth is there's only one of us who ever understood how things really work. Lorne
Lorne the Host: Whoa, hey! Can I not be the poster child for you nervous breakdown?


"Angel: Not Fade Away (#5.22)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The first lesson a watcher learns is to separate truth from illusion. Because in the world of magics, it's the hardest thing to do.

Illyria: [Wesley has been fatally stabbed] You'll be dead within moments.
Wes: I know.
Illyria: Would you like me to lie to you now?
Wes: Yes. Thank you, yes.
[Illyria morphs into Fred]
Wes: Hello there.
Illyria: [as Fred] Oh Wesley. My Wesley.
Wes: Fred, I've missed you.
Illyria: It's gonna be okay. It won't hurt much longer and then you'll be where I am.
[Begins crying]
Illyria: We'll be together.
Wes: I-I love you.
Illyria: I love you. My love. Oh, my love.

Illyria: I will fight. I have been broken and humiliated. I will return in kind every blow, every sting. I will shred my adversaries, pull their eyes out just enough to turn them towards their mewling mutilated faces.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're a very inspirational person.


"Angel: Sanctuary (#1.19)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I can't tell you how sorry I am that I allowed this to happen.
Cordelia Chase: I believe it was Faith who allowed her elbow to collide with my face.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I do not, however, understand why the woman who brutally tortured me last night, this morning gets pastries.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Faith] I hope she's strong enough to make it... Peace is not an easy thing to find.
Angel: She has a chance.


"Angel: Reprise (#2.15)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Things'll pick up. They're bound to.
Cordelia Chase: Yeah. It's L.A. The evil's probably just tied up in traffic, or something.

Cordelia Chase: I don't even know what you are anymore.
Angel: I'm a vampire. Look it up.
[he walks out]
Cordelia Chase: [about Angel] What a jerk!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia...
Cordelia Chase: I mean if it was anybody else, I would just say 'get laid, already!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia...
Cordelia Chase: [pacing] But, no, not him. One decent boff, and he switches to evil psycho-vamp. Which, in a way, would be better for everyone. Better for him, because he'd get some, and better for us, because then we could
[makes a staking motion]
Cordelia Chase: stake him afterwards.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia, ambulance.
[Wesley's wound is bleeding]
Cordelia Chase: Oh, my God.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not really feeling that great.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, well, your guts opened up.


"Angel: Dad (#3.10)" (2001)
[the gang is besieged and gets ready for the fight]
Charles Gunn: What are you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in "Rio Bravo". You?
Charles Gunn: Austin Stoker, "Assault on Precinct Thirteen".
Cordelia Chase: If we live through this, trade in the D.V.D. players and get a life.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [surveying some of the damage in the hotel lobby] Not to mention some bastard's blown a gaping hole in the lift.
Angel: Sorry, my bastard.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Angel] Did you know these diapers are lined with a space-age material originally designed for N.A.S.A. astronauts? - Interesting. Though now I'm picturing grown men wearing nappies, and am rather disturbed.


"Angel: Birthday (#3.11)" (2002)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, what are you doing on the floor?
Angel: I had this dream that Cordy was here. She was trying to umm... tell me something, something really important.
Cordelia Chase: Yes, and, and...
Angel: It's weird.
Cordelia Chase: How are *you* a champion? In what way are you a champion?

Cordelia Chase: I'm fine. You guys.
Angel: Cordy?
Cordelia Chase: I'll be okay.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Can you hear me?
Angel: Is she breathing?
Cordelia Chase: I'm just... dead?

Charles Gunn: Hey, is it true that you and Wes were... You know, that you had a little...
Cordelia Chase: Humiliating kiss where he drooled all over my chin? Yeah, but I've worked really hard to repress it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right. Well, as much as I love this forced death march down memory lane...
Charles Gunn: What is it with you Sunnydale folks and repression? I mean, you three are the most denying-est folks I ever met.


"Angel: Release (#4.14)" (2003)
[Faith has destroyed part of a wall in Wesley's bathroom]
Faith: Sorry about your bathroom.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not the bathroom I'm worried about. Although, I'm sure my security deposit is a complete loss.

Faith: You crossed it back there Wes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh you have a problem with a little torture now? Seem to recall a time when you rather enjoyed it.
Faith: Well it's not me anymore. You know that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I remember what you did to me, Faith. The broken glass, the shallow cuts so I would remain conscious.
Faith: You think I'd hurt you again?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This the part where you tell me you've turned over a new leaf? Found God? Inner peace? We both know that isn't true. You haven't changed. You can't. Because you're sick. You've always been sick. It goes right down to the roots rotting your soul. That's why your friends turned on you in Sunnydale, why the Watchers Council tried to kill you. No one trusts you Faith. You're a rabid dog who should have been put down years ago!
[Faith slams Wesley into a fence]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: See, wasn't so hard was it? It's what you'll need to beat him.


"Angel: The Magic Bullet (#4.19)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: This close, and she pulled a Houdini.
Connor: What's a Houdini?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She escaped.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Consider her armed, dangerous, and quite possibly insane. Don't let her grace or gentle beauty fool you. Winifred Burkle is a monster.


"Angel: Blind Date (#1.21)" (2000)
Wesley: In a sense. The human eye is only capable of registering a small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum, but if Brewer was somehow equipped to see outside that range...
Cordelia: She'd be Superman. What's the diff' in how she sees, anyway? So she can look at the bars of her cell. Why are we still talking about this?

[Wesley slams shut a book on demonology in frustration]
Wesley: Demons with one eye, demons with twelve eyes, some with double vision, but no blind demons. Perhaps Angel's discovered a new species.
Cordelia: What? Helen Kellerus Homocidalus?


"Angel: Sacrifice (#4.20)" (2003)
[the refugees fleeing from Jasmine - Angel, Fred, Wesley, Gunn and Lorne - are listening to a happy, chipper voice on the car radio, a cheerful report that the Catholic Church will remove all false idols from its churches and replace them with images of Jasmine]
Lorne: Oh! Talk about media bias. Um, not that I wanna talk about media bias. It seems rather moot right now. And speaking of moot, what about us? You all feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What are we gonna do? What can we do?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There has to be an answer.
Angel: There has to be a way; we just need time.
Charles Gunn: The hell with that, we need a damned break. The universe don't seem to be handing out breaks to the underdog, lately. No leads, no database, no weapons, no shelter.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's very little gas.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We should have taken Connor with us. He looks- what if he doesn't wake up?
Angel: What if we took him, and he did?

Charles Gunn: I've never seen so many cruisers.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Technically, we're the only criminals left.
Angel: No way we're drivin' out of this. It's time we disappeared.


"Angel: Deep Down (#4.1)" (2002)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: To family.
Angel: To family.
Lorne: As long as it's not mine.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Justine] I'll take away your bucket.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Consequences (#3.15)" (1999)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Does everybody know about you?
Buffy Summers: She's a friend.
Cordelia: Let's not exaggerate.

[after meeting Cordelia]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: My. She's cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.


"Angel: Lullaby (#3.9)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Now it's up to us to protect Angel's unborn child. Darla, we're trying to take you out of here. Relax. The trick is to breathe. Like this.
[Wesley demonstrates short panting breaths]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Heh, heh, heh, hoh, hoh, hoh, heh, heh, heh...
Darla: I... Don't...
[sits up and sends Wesley, Cordelia, Gunn and Fred all flying backwards, away from the car and morphs into her vampface]
Darla: Breathe!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Darla's in labor] It would be a lot better if we had those Ancient prophecies to guide us.
Cordelia Chase: Please, women have been giving birth without Ancient prophecies for years.


"Angel: You're Welcome (#5.12)" (2004)
Cordelia: Remember how I said, "Lets not have your department looking for those symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to - you and me, crackin' the books"?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes.
Cordelia: Well, that was dumb. What'd you ever listen to me for?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sprinkle ingredients with the arterial blood of an unclean... a demon.
Lorne the Host: Heh, we're unclean. Like you're april-fres...
[Suddenly pauses, looking concerned]
Lorne the Host: You sure that thing said arterial blood?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sorry.
Lorne the Host: Why don't they ever need the urine of an unclean. I've got plenty of unclean urine.
[Lorne laughs weakly while Gunn pulls out a knife]
Lorne the Host: Look, uh, I think I'm making some right now.


"Angel: Tomorrow (#3.22)" (2002)
Lilah: Don't go making more of this than it is. I'm not one of the doey-eyed girls of Angel Investigations. Don't be thinking about me when I'm gone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I wasn't thinking about you when you were here.

Lilah: Mind if I join you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: On many levels and with great intensity.


"Angel: Dead End (#2.18)" (2001)
Angel: There's only one thing we can do now.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, God. Oh, no!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The karaoke bar.
Charles Gunn: Angel's gonna sing?
Cordelia Chase: Isn't there some other way?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There has to be. Think, damnit!
Angel: Hey! Come on.

[Lindsey is singing]
Cordelia Chase: Wow, h-he's good.
Charles Gunn: Lawyer's got some pipes.
Angel: You think he's good?
Cordelia Chase: Shh!
Angel: What is that? Rock, country, ballad? Pick a style, pal.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Shh!
Lorne: Angelcakes, don't make me ask you to leave.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Choices (#3.19)" (1999)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let's synchronize our watches.
[Willow and Buffy display their bare wrists]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I have 21:4 -
[notices]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, typical.


"Angel: Ground State (#4.2)" (2002)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Just beware: Dinza isn't remotely trustworthy.
Angel: What should I do then? Send her a gift? A sacrifice? Unholy fruit basket?


"Angel: The Prodigal (#1.15)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think you'll find most people require some period of adjustment after being confronted with the dark forces which surround us. Women in particular...
[Cordelia is kneeling over a demon with a hacksaw in hand]
Cordelia Chase: Found it!
[starts to saw into the demon]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: ...struggle with it.


"Angel: Soulless (#4.11)" (2003)
Angelus: Buttering me up, getting me all relaxed. Not the most innovative interrogation technique... but, okay, I'll play.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Is it a game?
Angelus: Hey, open book. Anything you want to know. How sweet that virgin gypsy tasted? Special smell of a newborn's neck? My first nun. Now *that's* a great story.


"Angel: Shiny Happy People (#4.18)" (2003)
[Gunn and Wesley are thinking of names for "Jasmine"]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Clorox.
Charles Gunn: [contemplating] Clorox. She bleaches away the hate.
[shakes his head]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Probably best we avoid brand names.
Charles Gunn: Uh-huh.


"Angel: Benediction (#3.21)" (2002)
Lilah Morgan: Don't tell me you wouldn't like to see the bitch that slit your throat and left you to die get a little of her own back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What's going on here, Lilah?
Lilah Morgan: Some source - can't imagine who - tipped her off that tonight this place would be filthy with vampires. Which, as it turns out, is true.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right. Because that same source tipped off the vampires that *she* would be here
Lilah Morgan: Seems she has been pissing off a lot of undead Americans lately.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you thought I'd enjoy a box seat for her slaughter.
Lilah Morgan: Well, yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You really don't know the first thing about me do you?
[Wesley starts to leave]
Lilah Morgan: Probably not. Like will he go straight to his car or will he warn her first?
[Wesley stops]
Lilah Morgan: He has to think about it. That's all I really needed to know.


"Angel: Sleep Tight (#3.16)" (2002)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're a soldier, fight-to-the-death kind. I respect that. You work for a man who you think is noble and good. I respect that. Trouble is, he's not.
Justine Cooper: You work with a *vampire*.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Who, in fact, is noble and good. Quirky, but there it is. Holtz talks about justice, and it's stirring, but what he wants is revenge. He's driven by it, blinded by it, and if you, me, or anyone else gets in his way, he'll kill for it.
Justine Cooper: You're wrong. You don't know him. Everything that he's done for me, for all of us.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It sounds like a nice cult.


"Angel: Expecting (#1.12)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: As a point of courtesy I like to get to know my opponents before I engage them in mortal combat. Do you... uh... do you have any hobbies?


"Angel: Unleashed (#5.3)" (2003)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: These people, the ones you're spending so much time with lately. Knox, for example.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We're... you know, friendly, but he's under me... or I'm on top of him... professionally.


"Angel: Provider (#3.12)" (2002)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's an exciting arena.
Lorne: One I'm sure we can all download at I'll-never-know-the-love-of-a-woman.com.


"Angel: Awakening (#4.10)" (2003)
[Angel has reluctantly agreed to release Angelus]
Angel: We're gonna need a cage.
Lorne: Cage?
Angel: A strong one. About ten by twelve, steel-reinforced. Two inch bars, maybe three. I'll make some calls.
Charles Gunn: What, he thinks something like that's going to hold the Beast?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not for the Beast. It's for him.


"Angel: Home (#4.22)" (2003)
Charles Gunn: Can't help thinkin' it might cut down on the workload some if we got a little help. A few extra employees. Or a turnkey, state-of-the-art, multitasking operation.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can't possibly think that's an option.
Charles Gunn: Well, now I know it's an option, 'cause I was standing there when the dead lady offered it to us.


"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Prom (#3.20)" (1999)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I wonder if asking Ms. Chase to dance would...
Giles: For God's sake, man, she's 18, and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about.


"Angel: Couplet (#3.14)" (2002)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why can't you have sex?
Cordelia Chase: I could lose my "visionity".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If you wanna play it that way...


"Angel: A New World (#3.20)" (2002)
Lilah Morgan: I guess when she slit your throat, she nicked your sense of humor.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Not at all. I find you being here extremely funny.


"Angel: The Girl in Question (#5.20)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Stop it! Change back. Be blue. Be anything. Don't be her. Don't ever be her.
Illyria: As you wish.


"Angel: She (#1.13)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps we need a plan.
Angel: Here's the plan. We go in, I start hittin' people hard in the face. See where it takes us.