Riley Finn
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Quotes for
Riley Finn (Character)
from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997)

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"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy vs. Dracula (#5.1)" (2000)
Riley Finn: I've lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. You know what I've never noticed before?
Rupert Giles: Uh, a castle?
Riley Finn: A big, honkin' castle.

Riley Finn: What can you tell me about Dracula?
Spike: Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me £11, for one thing.

Buffy: Where's my burger?
Riley Finn: Yeah, man, I'm starving. Cow me.
Xander: The, uh, fire's not cooperating. It's comforting to know that I lack the culinary finesse of a caveman.

Willow Rosenberg: Game over?
Riley Finn: Uh, Buffy slayed the football.
[Holds up deflated ball]

Riley Finn: I shouldn't take this personally. I mean, what with Angel, I mean, it's understandable that there would be transference. I mean, they're both broody immortals.

Buffy: Where's my burger?
Riley Finn: Yeah, man, I'm starving. Cow me.
Xander: The fire is not cooperating. It's comforting to know that I lack the culinary finesse of a caveman.
Willow Rosenberg: [Nonchalantly casting a spell] Ignis, incende!
[meaning "fire, burn!"]
Buffy: Willow, check you out! Witch fu!
Willow Rosenberg: It's no big. You just balance the elements so when you affect one, you don't wind up causing...
[rises a storm, and they all have to flee]
Willow Rosenberg: I didn't do it! I didn't do it!

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Restless (#4.22)" (2000)
Riley Finn: Why, hello, little lady. Can I hold those milk pails for you?
Harmony Kendall: Why, thank you but they're not very heavy. Why have you come to our lonely small town, which has no post office and very few exports?
Riley Finn: I've come looking for a man. A salesman.

Riley Finn: We're drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffee makers that think.
Buffy: World domination? Is that a good...
Riley Finn: Baby, we're the government. It's what we do.

Computer Voice: [in Buffy's dream; calmly] The demons have escaped. Please run for your lives.
Adam: This could be trouble.
Riley Finn: We'd better make a fort.
Adam: I'll get some pillows.

Giles: All right everyone, pay attention! In just a few moments, that curtain is going to open on our very first production. Now everyone that Willow's ever met is out in that audience, including all of us. That means we have to be perfect. Stay in character, remember your lines and energy, energy, energy especially in the musical numbers!
Willow: [not paying attention] Did anyone see that?
Giles: Acting is not about behaviour, it's about hiding. The audience wants to find you, strip you naked and eat you alive, so hide.
[Harmony bites at his neck]
Giles: Stop that. Now, costumes, sets, um, the things that you, uh, you know, uh, you, um, you hold them, you touch them, uh, use them, um...
Harmony Kendall: Props?
Giles: No.
Riley Finn: Props?
Giles: Yes! It's all about subterfuge.
[Harmony continues attempting to bite him]
Giles: That's very annoying. Now, go on out there, lie like dogs and have a wonderful time. If we can stay in focus, keep our heads, and if Willow can stop stepping on everyones cues, I know this will be the best production of 'Death of a Salesman' we've ever done.
[Harmony continues attempting to bite him]
Giles: Stop it. Good luck everyone! Break a leg!

Riley Finn: Oh yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration's own Bay of Mutated Pigs is definitely an advantage.
Buffy: [cheery] It's like you're blackmailing the government!
[They look at her]
Buffy: In a... patriotic way.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Initiative (#4.7)" (1999)
[first lines]
Forrest Gates: Women. Young, nubile, exciting. Each one a mystery waiting to be unlocked. Think any of them are gonna show? 'Cause the party'd be lame if we lack for hotties. Professor? You with me?
Riley Finn: No. I'm with this large pile of ungraded papers due at 3:00.
Forrest Gates: How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh... Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?
Riley Finn: She's Buffy.
Forrest Gates: Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.
Riley Finn: It's her name, Forrest.
Forrest Gates: You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?
Riley Finn: You know, I never really thought about what I think about her.
Forrest Gates: A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?
Riley Finn: No, I mean, she's all right, I guess. She's just kinda... I don't know. Peculiar.
Forrest Gates: Peculiar?
Riley Finn: Yeah.
Forrest Gates: Hey, Graham.
Graham Miller: Huh?
Forrest Gates: What do you think of the blonde chick? Mattressable, n'est-ce pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.
Riley Finn: I don't dislike her. She just... she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.
Forrest Gates: I bet you do.
Riley Finn: Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.
Graham Miller: Maybe she's Canadian.

Professor Maggie Walsh: You know the rules, you know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional.
Willow: Oh, but...
Professor Maggie Walsh: It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissist, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back.
[Willow, looking hurt and miserable, walks off]
Buffy Summers: [walks up to Walsh] You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Professor Maggie Walsh: It's not my job to coddle my students.
Buffy Summers: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job.
[walks away]
Professor Maggie Walsh: I like her.
Riley Finn: Really? You don't think she's a little peuliar?

[Willow is advising Riley how to initiate a conversation with Buffy at a party]
Willow: Okay, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, but don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Riley Finn: So what do I do?
Willow: [surprised] Ask her to dance.
Riley Finn: Right. Dance. Wait. No.
Willow: What's the matter?
Riley Finn: I can't dance.
Willow: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel.
[Riley looks back at her, very surprised]
Willow: A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun.

[last lines]
Buffy Summers: Uh, last night... At the party, you wanted to tell me something?
Riley Finn: Oh, yeah. Very important stuff. I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved. Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
Buffy Summers: You're a little peculiar.
Riley Finn: [smiles] I can live with that.

Willow: Why should I trust you?
Riley Finn: Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.
Willow: I've seen honest faces. They usually come attached to liars.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The I in Team (#4.13)" (2000)
Buffy Summers: You're quite the regimental soldier.
Riley Finn: I am how they trained me.
Buffy Summers: They? Who they?
Riley Finn: You know, the government. Talked me out of special op training for this.
Buffy Summers: What did they tell you it was for?
Riley Finn: Didn't. In the military, you learn to follow orders. Not ask questions.
Buffy Summers: I don't understand. Aren't you curious about all the science and research stuff they're doing?
Riley Finn: I know all I need to know. We're doing good here: protecting the public, removing the subterrestrial threat... it's work worth doing.

[Professor Walsh has ordered a test of Buffy's abilities. Therefore, at night, several Initiative Commandos have been deployed to search for The Slayer in a dark woods at night. Buffy ambushes them, and soon many of the soldiers are on the ground]
Professor Maggie Walsh: Lights!
[the bright lights of a humvee parked on a hill illuminate the area. Buffy and the lead commando see Professor Maggie Walsh hurrying down to them. She walks past the lead commando, who is pulling off his mask to reveal he's Riley Finn. Walsh faces Buffy with a chilly expression]
Professor Maggie Walsh: It took the patrol team 42 minutes to track you and you neutralized them in 28 seconds.
Buffy Summers: I was just lucky.
Professor Maggie Walsh: I see.
[Walsh ignores Riley's proud smile]
Professor Maggie Walsh: Well, still. Very impressive.
Buffy Summers: [to Riley] I was just being modest with the whole 'lucky' thing. You got that, right?
Riley Finn: I got it.
Graham Miller: Awesome, Buffy.
Forrest Gates: Pfft!
[He walks away from this celebration of Buffy's skills, as fighting her had left him with bruises and bruised pride]
Riley Finn: See? You're a hit. Everybody loves you.
[Cut to Walsh standing beside the humvee, looking on. She doesn't look happy, much less loving]

[Walsh and Riley show Buffy around the underground Initiative complex, including The Pit]
Professor Maggie Walsh: Your visitor's pass. And I've assembled some reading material to bring you up to speed.
Buffy Summers: Oh. And I thought I was never gonna get homework from you again.
Professor Maggie Walsh: You can't take that home. That's classified material. Highly sensitive. When you're through reading those pages, you'll have to eat them.
Riley Finn: She's joking.
Professor Maggie Walsh: Don't worry, it doesn't happen very often. Shall we? Much of our hands-on research with the HSTs is performed here. We call this 'The Pit.'
[Buffy sees a pair of green squid-faced demons lying on two tables, while scrub-clad techs work on them]
Buffy Summers: And what do you call those?
Riley Finn: Tough. It took eight of us to bring those two down.
Professor Maggie Walsh: They'll be under our control soon enough. Doctor Angleman! Head of our science team. He's a leader in the field of xenomorphic behavior modification.
Buffy Summers: Behavior modification?
Professor Maggie Walsh: We've made significant advances in reconditioning the sub-terrestrials. Bringing them to a point where they no longer pose a threat.
Buffy Summers: So I've seen.
[Walsh and Riley look at her]
Buffy Summers: On the Discovery Channel. With gorillas and sharks. They, they made them all nice. You haven't seen it?

Riley Finn: Talk to me, Forrest.
Forrest Gates: Signal's somewhere in this neighborhood. Estimate within a two-block radius.
[In his apartment, Giles is digging into Spike's wound with the tweezers while Anya holds the flashlight for him]
Willow Rosenberg: It feels, and looks, like the ionizing spell is wearing off.
Xander Harris: Giles?
Rupert Giles: I've got it. I've got it!
[He holds up the tweezers and we see a two-inch dart with a blinking red light on its end]
Rupert Giles: [Back to Beta Team. They're getting closer]
Riley Finn: Okay, we want to keep the hostile contained, so no one is to make a move without my...
Forrest Gates: Wait. Signal's cleared up.
[Points across the street]
Forrest Gates: There.
Riley Finn: Let's go!
Rupert Giles: [Giles hands Xander the tweezers] Go!
[With the tracer, Xander dashes down the hallway and skids around the corner]
Riley Finn: What?
Forrest Gates: It's on the move.
Riley Finn: Heading?
Forrest Gates: Straight at us. Forty meters and closing. Moving fast.
Graham Miller: In broad daylight?
Riley Finn: Look alive, people. Weapons at the ready.
Forrest Gates: Twenty-five meters... twenty... fifteen.
Riley Finn: Where?
Forrest Gates: To the left. Ten meters... five!
Riley Finn: Anyone?
Graham Miller: I got nothing.
Forrest Gates: This doesn't make sense. It went right past us.

Professor Maggie Walsh: This is your objective. Sub-T: 67119. Demon class: Polgara species. Though visual confirmation has not yet been made, we're confident of the target's approximate position, as it leaves behind a distinct protein marker. Dr. Angleman will brief you on its defenses.
Dr. Angelman: When threatened, bone skewers jut from the creature's forearms during battle. It's imperative when ensnaring it not to damage its arms. That's all you really need to know.
Buffy Summers: Question.
Professor Maggie Walsh: Buffy?
Buffy Summers: Why exactly can't we damage this polka thing's arms? I, uh, not that I want to, it's just in my experience when fighting for your life, body parts get damaged and - better its bits than mine. Or ours.
Dr. Angelman: We wish to study the physiology of every subterrestrial's natural defenses. It's part of the research we do here. Uh - Yes?
Buffy Summers: What do they want?
Dr. Angelman: Want?
Buffy Summers: Why are they here? Sacrifices, treasure, or they just get rampagy? I find it's easier to predict their responses if I know...
Dr. Angelman: They're not sentient. Just destructive, I believe.
Professor Maggie Walsh: They do have keen eyesight, however. You might want to be suited up for this.
Buffy Summers: Oh.
[glancing at the green-clad commandos around her]
Buffy Summers: You mean the camo and stuff? I thought about it but, I mean, it's gonna look all 'Private Benjamin.'
[This gets chuckles from some of the commandos]
Buffy Summers: Don't worry, I've patrolled in this halter many times.
[This gets even more chuckles and Riley has to bow his head and clench his jaw]
Professor Maggie Walsh: Why don't we give our attention to Dr. Angleman
[Buffy raises her hand again]
Professor Maggie Walsh: and save all questions until the end.
Dr. Angelman: Actually, I'm finished.
Professor Maggie Walsh: Oh. Uh, well, Agent Finn, deploy the teams.
Riley Finn: Okay, listen up. We'll be going in a four squad set-up. Team Leaders: Gates, Taggart, and Stavros. Alpha Team, you're with me.
Professor Maggie Walsh: Report for TLs for assignment and weapons requisitions. Reminder: this is a zap-n-trap, people. Capture, not a kill. Any questions?
[sees a raised hand and sighs]
Professor Maggie Walsh: Buffy?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A New Man (#4.12)" (2000)
Riley Finn: I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

Riley Finn: You're really strong. Like, Spiderman strong.
Buffy: Yeah. But, I don't stick to stuff. But, yeah.

Buffy: Look, if you've been fighting since you were fifteen, you'd have a hefty resume' too.
Riley Finn: Fifteen?
Buffy: I know "wow." The point is, that, we have different amounts of experience. You know. And plus I do have that whole preternatural experience.
Riley Finn: I've seen. Don't get me wrong. The girls I grew up with could hold their own. But... I'm not even sure I could take you.
Buffy: That all depends on your meaning.

Professor Maggie Walsh: Oh, I'm, heh quite sure of that. And I'm just as sure that we can learn from each other. I'm working on getting you clearance to come into the Initiative. I think you'll find the results of our operation most impressive. Agent Finn here, has killed or captured - how many is it?
Riley Finn: [note of pride] Seventeen. Eleven vampires, six demons.
Buffy: Oh... Wow. I mean, that's... seventeen.
Professor Maggie Walsh: What about you?
Buffy: Me?
Professor Maggie Walsh: How many hostilities would you say you've slain?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Family (#5.6)" (2000)
Tara: Yeah. You learn her source, and, uh, we'll introduce her to her insect reflection.
[pause. everyone stares]
Tara: Um, th-that was funny if you, um, if you studied Taglarin mythic rites... and are a complete dork.
Riley Finn: Oh. Then how come Xander didn't laugh?
Xander Harris: I don't know that Taglarin stuff.

Riley Finn: I squared away the rest of your stuff. Wouldn't even know you ever left.
Buffy Summers: Oh, you're a god. You're like the god of boyfriends.
Riley Finn: Nah, I just like it when you owe me favors.
Buffy Summers: Well, this earns you a big favor. There could be outfits.

Sandy: We... could go somewhere else, someplace more... private.
Riley Finn: Ohhh, Sandy, Sandy. It's no good. My heart belongs to another. Besides, I don't go out with vampires.
[Sandy narrows her eyes in annoyance and uses her straw to stab at the ice in her drink]
Riley Finn: [to bartender] Never interested in my intellect.

Riley Finn: He started it.
Xander Harris: He called me a bad name. I think it was bad. It might've been Latin.
Rupert Giles: Stop it, or you're going to break something.
Buffy Summers: Or I'm going to break something.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Shadow (#5.8)" (2000)
Spike: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Riley: Am I dark enough for you now?
Spike: Bloody pull me back in, you sod, I'm startin' to sizzle!
Riley: You don't know anything about Buffy, you never did. I'm the one that knows what she needs.
Spike: Oh yeah? That's why you're with her at hospital right now, giving her what she needs.
Riley: What are you talkin' about?
Spike: Don't you know, didn't she tell you?
Riley: You tell me.
Spike: Her mum's sickly. Buffy took her to hospital for a bit of prod 'n probe. Bite-sized one went too. You know, it's-it's funny her not calling you about that. I've known since last night.

Spike: Okay, how 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover-wiccas do a deinvite on the house. Keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?
Riley: Because you're harmless.
Spike: Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you, but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

[Riley's throwing Spike out after catching him smelling Buffy's sweater]
Spike: I know, for a bleedin' fact, the Slayer wouldn't mind me bein' here.
Riley: Right. What's a little sweater sniffing between sworn enemies?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Replacement (#5.3)" (2000)
Riley: Yeah, I'm well aware of how lucky I am. Like, lottery lucky. Buffy's like nobody else in the world. When I'm with her, it's like - it's like I'm split in two - half of me is just on fire, goin' crazy if I'm not touching her. The other half is so still and peaceful, just perfectly content. Just knows, this is the one. But she doesn't love me.

Riley: Owning this place does seem kinda dangerous.
Giles: Toth.
Riley: What?
Buffy: He called you a toth. It's a British expression, it means, like, moron.
Giles: No. Toth is the name of the demon.

Riley: Getting nostalgic?
Xander: I don't know. At first it's just a place, and then you start to make memories. Then you're, like... that's where Spike slept, and there, that's where Anya and I drowned the Sepavro demon. Oh! And right there, that's where I got my heart all ripped out.
[slight pause]
Xander: I really hate this place.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: This Year's Girl (#4.15)" (2000)
Willow: We were pretty worried about you there for awhile, mister.
Riley: Me too. Hey, look, I know my behavior was pretty out there.
Willow: Forget it. Tell you what. You two crazy kids take down an unstoppable killer cyborg-demon-hybrid thingy and, uh, we'll call it all even.

Riley: I've never seen anybody get under your skin this way before. What did she do to you exactly?
Buffy: It's a long story.
Riley: I'm from Iowa. We drive four hours for a high school football game. Try me.

Giles: [after Buffy hung up the phone] What is it?
Buffy: It's Faith. She's awake. She beat someone up, took her clothing and disappeared out of the hospital. No one knows where she is.
Xander: I'd say this qualifies for a "worse timing ever" award.
Willow: What do we do?
Giles: Well, we have to find her.
Willow: What about Adam?
Xander: I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic.
Buffy: Well, Faith's not exactly low-profile girl. I'll patrol and wait for her to make a move.
Giles: And then what?
Willow: Oh! I have an idea. Beat the crap out of her.
Xander: Good plan!
Buffy: Good on paper. But we still have a decision to make. Do we hand her over to the cops? They wouldn't know what to do with a Slayer even if they knew we existed.
Willow: What about the Council?
Xander: Been there. Tried that. Not unlike smothering a forest fire with napalm, as I recall.
Giles: Well, the Initiative, they do have, uh, containment facilities.
Xander: One word: evil.
Buffy: There's no way around it. Faith is back and, whether I like it or not, she's my responsibility.
Willow: Yeah, too bad. That was the funnest coma ever.
Buffy: We have no idea where she is. We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling.
Xander: [spitefully] Who she's doing.
Buffy: She could be terrified. Maybe she doesn't even remember? Or-or maybe she does and-and she's sorry and she's alone, hiding somewhere?
Giles: Uh, perhaps there's some form of, uh, rehabilitation we just haven't thought about?
Willow: And if not, ass-kicking makes a solid Plan B.
Buffy: I'm not gonna rule it out. First thing, we need to find her. Then we can take it from there.
Riley: [having listened to all this in bewilderment] Who's Faith?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: As You Were (#6.15)" (2002)
Riley: I hear ya. Got some, uh, big stories to tell you, too, if we even get half a second.
Buffy: Did ya die?
Riley: No.
Buffy: I'm gonna win.

Buffy: Well I'm sure my incredible patheticness softened the blow for you
Riley: I don't know what you are talking about.
Buffy: Riley, please don't patronize...
Riley: Hey, you want me to say that I liked seeing you in bed with that idiot? Or that blinding orange is your very best color? Or that that burger smell is appealing?
Buffy: You smelled the smell
Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything. It doesn't touch you. You are still the first woman I ever loved and the strongest woman I have ever known. And while I'm not advertising this to the Mrs. you are still quite the hottie.
Buffy: ...You know, it goes away after many bathings
Riley: This isn't about who's on top. I know how lucky I am right now. I love my work, and I love my wife.
Buffy: I know... I kinda love her too.
Riley: And so you're not in the greatest place right now... maybe I made it worse.
Buffy: No.
Riley: The wheel never stops turning, Buffy. You're up, you're down... It doesn't change what you are. You are a hell of a woman.

Riley: We've been tear-assing through every jungle from Paraguay up, taking out nests. As soon as we put one Suvolte down, a dozen take its place. They're breeders, Buffy. One turns into ten, ten becomes a hundred. This gets out of hand and there's a war with humans? Humans are gonna lose.
Buffy: So they're like really mean tribbles. Sorry, I've been dealing with these, these geeks. It's-it's a whole thing.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Superstar (#4.17)" (2000)
[Giles and company are researching old magic books]
Riley Finn: These spells, these really work? I mean, can you really "turn your enemies inside out"? Or "learn to excrete gold coins"?
Anya: That one's not so much fun.
Willow Rosenberg: They work, Riley. But they take concentration, being attuned with the forces of the universe.
Xander Harris: Right. You can't just go "librum incendere" and expect...
[Xander's book bursts into flames and he slams it shut, extinguishing it]
Giles: [wearily] Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.

Riley Finn: Did anyone else feel way too tall? I felt *way* too tall.
Xander Harris: I liked his clothes. He had really cool clothes.
Willow Rosenberg: I still don't understand how he got the house and everything.
Anya: And who really did star in The Matrix?
Riley Finn: Wait! That wasn't real either?

Willow Rosenberg: Hey, I found the mark. It's part of an augmentation spell. Jonathan did an augmentation spell.
Riley Finn: What, uh... Did he have...? You know...
Willow Rosenberg: Him. And how we see him. This spell turns the sorcerer into a paragon. The best of everything. Everyone's ideal. But there's a drawback.
Riley Finn: A drawback?
Xander Harris: That happens a lot.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Something Blue (#4.9)" (1999)
[Riley has just hung a "Lesbian Alliance" banner]
Buffy: Is there something you wanna tell me?
Riley Finn: What.
[Buffy looks pointedly at the banner]
Riley Finn: Oh. Yes. I am a lesbian.
Buffy: Well it's good that you're so open about it.

Riley Finn: I thought maybe we could have a little spread. Sandwiches, maybe some ants. Could be fun.
Buffy: We were talking about having a picnic?
Riley Finn: Oh... so, was that a conversation we actually had, or one I was just practicing?
Buffy: Practicing?
Riley Finn: Okay, yes, I have been known to do a little prep work before our conversations. It's not easy, you know, talking to you sometimes. It's like an oral exam.
Buffy: Boy, that's just what every girl longs to hear.
Riley Finn: Well, you're tricky.

Riley Finn: Hey, Buffy. What's up?
Buffy: Riley, look. Aren't they beautiful?
Riley Finn: Yeah, they're nice. A little dressy maybe, for school, but...
Buffy: Riley.
Riley Finn: Buffy?
Buffy: I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me, and if things were different...
Buffy: Different than what?
Buffy: I want you to promise me that we can always be friends. And I'd really like you to be there on the day.
Riley Finn: The day when...
Buffy: The wedding.
Riley Finn: The wedding. What wedding?
Buffy: My wedding. I'm getting married. Can you believe it?
Riley Finn: I don't think no is a strong enough word.
Buffy: I know. It's crazy.
Buffy: I mean, we fought for all these years and then... Sometimes you just look at someone and you know, you know?
Riley Finn: No.
Buffy: I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other.
Riley Finn: Can we start again?
Buffy: You'll really like him. Well, nobody really likes him.
Riley Finn: I need to clear a few things up.
Buffy: I don't even really like him.
Riley Finn: Buffy.
Buffy: But I love him. I do.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Listening to Fear (#5.9)" (2000)
Anya: [Riley is about to touch the meteorite] Is it hot? Cuz, uh, if there's radiation you could, like, go all sterile.
Riley Finn: [Riley recoils and Xander scampers away to be behind Anya] No, it's not hot. It's warm, and broken. And sort of...
Rupert Giles: [interrupts] Hollow.
Riley Finn: Yeah.
Anya: So, uh, we're all thinking the same thing, right?
Xander Harris: Festive piñata? Delicious candy?
Willow Rosenberg: Something evil crashed to earth in this and then broke out and slithered away to do badness.
Rupert Giles: In all fairness, I don't think we know about the slithered part.
Anya: Oh no, I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.

Riley Finn: [Riley is feeling for pulse on a victim in the woods] No pulse.
Anya: [to Giles] Yup. Space lamb got him.

Riley Finn: [Riley is scraping out slime out of someone's mouth with a pen and everyone recoils from the smell] Ugh. That might be toxic. Don't touch it.
Xander Harris: Oh yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily I've moved on to my second which involves dry heaving and running like hell. Oh man, does that smell.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Goodbye Iowa (#4.14)" (2000)
Riley Finn: I know something went down. Umph. Tell me.
Buffy: Maggie tried to kill me.
Anya: It didn't work, but they're all upset anyway.

Riley Finn: That's Hostile 17.
Spike: No, I'm just a friend of Xaannderr's. Pfftt. Bugger it. I'm your guy.
Buffy: This is Spike. He's, um... It's a really long story, but he's not bad anymore.
Spike: Hey! What am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm bad, it's just I can't bite anymore. Thanks to you wankers.
Riley Finn: We've been looking all over the place for him - but you've known where's he's been all along.
Buffy: It's not like that.
Riley Finn: Then what is it like? What's he doing here?
Spike: Leaving you swabs to your dramatics, thanks. I've got my stories on the telly for that. By the by. If you're trying to kill her.
[Spike leans back with a big grin and two thumbs up]
Spike: [Spike runs out the door into the sunlight, covering his head and arms with his coat]
Riley Finn: Buffy, what is this? You're hiding an H.S.T.?
Xander Harris: Why don't you just back off and let her ask the questions, Jack? Your boss just tried to make monster food out of her.
Riley Finn: [seeing unfriendly faces all around him] I, I didn't see much, I wasn't there. All I know is that Professor Walsh told me you were dead, but then I saw you on the monitors. This isn't Professor Walsh. There must be something making her act this way. Something, I don't know, controlling her.
Rupert Giles: We think Buffy may have been becoming too inquisitive. That she was getting close to something that Professor Walsh was trying to hide. Do you have any idea what that might be?
Buffy: What about 314? Maybe that's it.
Riley Finn: Maybe she was trying to test you. What if it was only a drill?
Buffy: Then why did she tell you I was dead? Riley, it wasn't a test.
Rupert Giles: See I've heard rumors that the Initiative isn't all that we've been told. That, um, secretly they're working toward some darker purpose, something that might harm us all.
Riley Finn: No! That's - that's not what happens there.
Buffy: Riley!
Riley Finn: I would know!
Buffy: No one is sure of anything, okay? We're just trying to sort it out.
Riley Finn: I can't be here. I'll sort it out on my own.

Buffy: Everybody grab a weapon. We've gotta move.
[Buffy hands Xander an axe and Anya a grappling hook]
Xander Harris: Storm the Initiative. Yeah, let's take on those suckers!
Buffy: I was thinking more that we'd hide.
Xander Harris: Oh, thank God.
Rupert Giles: I think perhaps we should talk about this.
Buffy: We need to relocate someplace we're less likely to be found. We need to come up with a plan.
Willow Rosenberg: We could go to my place.
Buffy: The Initiative guys know how close we are. They'll automatically check the places that you hang out. Xander, what about your basement? The guys haven't seen us together that much and there's enough room.
Willow Rosenberg: Ooh! Plus mirrored ball.
Xander Harris: Cool! Come on down and boogie at Xander's hideaway.
Rupert Giles: Absolutely not! I will not squat in that dank hole.
Spike: What, it was good enough for me, but you're above it all?
Rupert Giles: Precisely. Besides, I-I don't see why we can't stay right where we are. Pfft. It's very unlikely that those Initiative boys are going to come round here to look for, uh...
[Riley enters]
Riley Finn: Buffy! God, Buffy, are you ok? What happened?
Buffy: You know?
Xander Harris: I know something went down. Umph. Tell me.
Buffy: Maggie tried to kill me.
Anya: It didn't work, but they're all upset anyway.
Riley Finn: Okay, listen, I need you to go over everything step by step. There has to be, has to be some kind of mistake.
Xander Harris: There was no mistake. And how do you know something happened?
Riley Finn: I was on a mission but I came back and... I'm not sure... Look, let's just keep our heads and not jump to any...
[Riley stops and stares at Spike]
Buffy: What?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Hush (#4.10)" (1999)
Riley: So, what have you got goin' on tonight?
Buffy: Oh, patrolling.
Riley: Patrolling?
Buffy: Uh, petroleum.
Riley: Petroleum?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Riley: Tonight you have crude oil?
Buffy: A-and homework.

Riley: Don't worry. If I kiss you, it'll make the sun go down.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: New Moon Rising (#4.19)" (2000)
Colonel McNamara: You're a dead man, Finn.
Riley: No, sir. I'm an anarchist.
[punches him]

Buffy: You sounded like Mr. Initiative. "Demons bad, people good."
Riley: Somethin' wrong with that theorem?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Out of My Mind (#5.4)" (2000)
Riley Finn: Hey, about before...
Graham Miller: Forget it. Apologise later, if you're not dead.

[first lines]
[It's a dark evening. Lamps dimly illuminate the graveyard as Buffy crouches, alert, surveying from atop a crypt. Sensing something, she stands, then leaps down from the crypt and runs, stopping over a fresh grave. Looking down, a pair of arms suddenly jut up from the grave. Not waiting, she stabs her stake through the earth, killing the vampire before it can finish rising from the ground. Nearby, another vampire rapidly escapes his grave. Buffy rushes over and commences battle, ducking its first swing and landing several blows with her fists and feet. Another kick sends the vampire reeling twenty yards away. It stands, but is grabbed and tossed aside by... ]
Buffy Summers: Riley?
Riley Finn: Buffy! What are you doin' here?
Buffy Summers: [implying obviousness] My job.
Riley Finn: Well, I just thought you were in the North sector.
Buffy Summers: Watch out!
[the vampire lunges back at Riley. Riley ducks the blow, kicks the back of its knee, blocks its arm and twists it behind its back. He then hurls it surprisingly high at a nearby crypt, taking its top stonework in the gut before falling to the ground]
Buffy Summers: Nevermind.
[still stunned, Riley punches it once more in the face before staking it in the heart. Another vamp rises. Buffy starts to leap into action when Spike suddenly tackles it]
Buffy Summers: Why do I even bother to show up?
[Spike blocks several blows with martial-arts moves]
Buffy Summers: Spike, what are you doing here?
Spike: Same reason as you and your Cub Scout here, I wager.
[Spike lands four more blows on the latest vamp]
Spike: Wanted a spot of violence before bedtime.
[Spike smiles at his quip, but it doesn't last long as the vamp takes advantage of his distraction, landing a major blow that sends him in a head-over-heels flip, earning Spike a bloody nose. Dazed, Buffy rushes in, pushes Spike aside, and stakes the vamp]
Spike: Phew.
[Buffy turns and gives Spike an out-of-patience look. Spike wipes his nose and sucks the blood off his fingers]
Spike: What? I softened him up.
Buffy Summers: Better keep out of my way, Spike. I'm not going to take this much longer.
Spike: And I should do what with my spare time? Sit at home knitting... cunning sweater sets?
Buffy Summers: Would it keep you out of my way?
Riley Finn: She's right. You shouldn't be out here when she's patrolling.
[Buffy gives Riley a look of "You're a fine one to talk."]
Spike: Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy is entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay there. I've got knitting needles he can borrow.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Yoko Factor (#4.20)" (2000)
Riley: I don't know much about Angel, or your relationship with him, but all I ask is, if you're gonna break my heart, do it fast.
Buffy: What? You think that Angel and I...
Riley: Didn't you?
Buffy: No. Of course not. How can you even ask me that?
Riley: I don't know. Xander said...
Buffy: Xander? Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia.

Riley Finn: [re. Angel] Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mr. Billowy Coat King of Pain.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Into the Woods (#5.10)" (2000)
Spike: Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
Riley Finn: Because you are.
Spike: Well... yeah. But that's not your problem. Even if I wasn't in the picture, you're never gonna be able to hold onto her.

Spike: Come on. You're not the long haul guy and you know it.
Riley Finn: Shut up.
Spike: You know it. Or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trolls. The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature... no matter how low you try to go.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Doomed (#4.11)" (2000)
Riley Finn: What's a Slayer?
Forrest Gates: Slayer? A thrash band. Anvil-Heavy guitar rock with delusions of Black Sabbath.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Fool for Love (#5.7)" (2000)
Xander: What's with the hand move? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?
Willow: It's code. I-I think it breaks down to 'Choo-choo!'
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Willow: [whispers] Ask.
Xander: [yells] Hey, Riley! What's the, uh -
[makes hand gesture]
Xander: all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're comin' will have a sporting chance.
Xander: See, now he's all mad and sarcastic.
Willow: That's cuz you were doing all the yelling, Mr. Stealthy Pants.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Primeval (#4.21)" (2000)
Riley: [realizing Forrest is a zombie-robot] Oh God.
Forrest: God has nothing to do with it.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Real Me (#5.2)" (2000)
Riley Finn: Back to what I was saying before we were rudely attacked by nothing.