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Quotes for
Angel (Character)
from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997)

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"Angel: Epiphany (#2.16)" (2001)
Angel: Well, I guess I kinda worked it out. If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters... , then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it.
Kate Lockley: And now you do?
Angel: Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because, I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.
Kate Lockley: Yikes. It sounds like you've had an epiphany.
Angel: I keep saying that, but nobody's listening.

Darla: But we...
Angel: Yeah.
Darla: And you...
Angel: I know.
Darla: Then I...
Angel: Three times.
Darla: You're not evil?

Angel: [about his epiphany] I'm still not sure what happened...
Lorne the Host: What's not to understand? You think you're the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was laying next to him, and went, "gueeeyah!". You're not. Believe me.

Angel: We are talkin' about the same Cordelia Chase, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's correct.
Angel: Knowing her...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But you don't. You don't know her at all. For months now, you haven't cared to. Otherwise, you might have realized that our Cordelia has become a very solitary girl. She's not the vain carefree creature she once was. Well... , certainly not carefree. It's the visions, you see. The visions that were meant to guide you. You could turn away from them. She doesn't have that luxury. She knows and experiences the pain in this city. And because of who she is, she feels compelled to do something about it. It's left her little time for anything else. You'd have known that, if you hadn't had your head firmly up your... place that isn't on top of your neck.

Charles Gunn: So what's he doin' here?
Angel: I went and saw the Host at Caritas. - He said my friends were in danger.
Charles Gunn: So what's he doin' here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He had an epiphany.
Charles Gunn: Ahh.

Angel: [about Cordelia] Guys, guys, d-does it make sense that sh-she would go there in the middle of the night, without calling either one of you?
Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: They owe us money.
Angel: Let's go.

Kate Lockley: I feel like such an idiot.
Angel: A lot of that that going around.

Kate Lockley: I think maybe we're not alone in this.
Angel: Why?
Kate Lockley: Because I never invited you in.

[first lines]
Angel: Oh, God.
Darla: Don't fight it, my love. Just let it happen. It'll only hurt for a minute.

Angel: Oh, God. Oh, God.
Darla: Yes. Yes, I know. It was the same for me. The soul is gone, but it leaves a bitterness. It'll pass. What you need is a fresh kill. Hot human blood will wash away the foul memory of it. I promise. What? What is it?
Angel: You saved me.
Darla: Yes. But I was going to kill you tonight. Take you out of this world, the same way I brought you into it. But I didn't have to. You gave yourself over so completely, Angelus. I felt you surrender.
Angel: I gave you everything I had left.
Darla: Yes.
Angel: I'm so sorry.
Darla: You don't have to be.
Angel: But I am. I am sorry.
Darla: What?
Angel: I'm sorry Darla.
Darla: No.
Angel: You saved me. Sorry I couldn't do the same for you.
Darla: Let go of me. You still have a soul.

Angel: [to Darla] You did me a favor tonight. Now I'm gonna do one for you. Get dressed and get out... Because the next time I see you, I will have to kill you.

Angel: Kate! Kate! Kate, open the door! Kate! Kate.
[Angel rushes Kate to a shower]
Kate Lockley: [after Angel saves her] Thanks. Now get out.

Angel: [Talking about Darla] I probably should have killed her.
Lorne the Host: Eh, kill her, give her cab fare, whatever.

Lorne the Host: [to Angel] It's called a moment of clarity, my lamb, and you've just had one. Sort of appalling, ain't it. To see just exactly where you've gotten yourself.
Angel: I don't know how to get back.
Lorne the Host: Well, that's just the thing. You don't. You go onto the new place, whatever that is.
Angel: I don't know if I can. I've done things. Questionable things.
Lorne the Host: Yes, you have. But-But you didn't kill those lawyers, Angel. That was slated to happen with or without you. The Powers were just trying to work it so it'd be without you, that's all. You weren't much help in that department, were you, sparky?
Angel: If I wasn't much help. If they wanted me to stay away, why didn't they just tell me?
Lorne the Host: Would you have listened? Besides, what makes you think they didn't? Over and over and, as for example, over?
Angel: Well, they could've been a little bit more specific.
Lorne the Host: Isn't this just the sort of 'tude that got you where you are now?

Angel: What now?
Lorne the Host: What do you mean?
Angel: How do I fix this? I mean, what do the Powers want me to do?
Lorne the Host: Does it look like I'm hearing voices? 'Cause I'm not. I'm not your link with the Powers, Angel. I never was. You got rid of that when you fired your crew. And that's gonna be the hardest part of all of this, you know?
Angel: Yeah.
Lorne the Host: And there's a chance, a good chance... you won't be able to put this back together. It just... Well, it depends really.
Angel: Yeah. Whether they'll even talk to me.
Lorne the Host: No, actually it depends on whether they live through the night. And I gotta tell you, at the moment, the odds? Not good.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel!
Angel: Invite me in! I've never been here before Wesley, you have to invite me in!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, perhaps if you had shown a bit of interest...
Angel: Wesley!
[Skilosh demons break through the window]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes! Well, absolutely, I invite you in! Man, I invite you!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: In any event. I diagnosed the girl's condition as "infection by a Skilosh".
Angel: With your books?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes...
Angel: You were always so good with your books. Made it look so easy. It isn't.

Charles Gunn: [to Wesley] Come on, English. You know you're my man.
Angel: So, I see you guys have bonded.
Charles Gunn: It happens when you fight shoulder to shoulder.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Or rather hip to shoulder, these days.
Charles Gunn: This man took a bullet for me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah... It was nothing.

Charles Gunn: Where's Cordy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We don't know. Not here.
Charles Gunn: You checked her pad?
Angel: I stopped by there earlier.
Charles Gunn: You enjoying your visit to nineteen seventy three? I meant her message pad.
Angel: Oh, right, yeah. That's a good idea.

Charles Gunn: So you had an epiphany, did you?
Angel: Yeah.
Charles Gunn: So what? You just wake up and bang?
Angel: It was sort of the other way around.

Angel: [to Lindsey] I'm sorry, Lindsey. I really am. I'm sorry she'll never love you. I'm sorry you're gonna have to live with that. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to help you when you came to me. I'm sorry that you made the wrong choice.

Angel: [after smashing Lindsey's prosthetic hand] Could've been the other one - just be glad I had an epiphany. Mind if I borrow your truck?

Cordelia Chase: Angel... Hi.
Angel: Hi. You okay?
Cordelia Chase: No.
Angel: You're not?
Cordelia Chase: No. You really hurt my feelings.

[last lines]
Angel: I'm sorry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Before you say anymore, I think I should tell you. We've all discussed it, and none of us are ready just yet.
Angel: It's okay, Wesley. I don't want you to come back and work for me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, I see.
Angel: I want to work for you.
Charles Gunn: You want to work for us?
Angel: Yeah, I do.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Because I think I can help.
Cordelia Chase: How do we know we can trust you?
Angel: I guess I'll just have to earn that.
Cordelia Chase: No. No. No!
[has a vision]
Cordelia Chase: The usual big scary, rising up in a housing project in Topanga. And why is it I'm not on the floor this time?
Angel: I've got you.
Cordelia Chase: Maybe he should drive.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let's go.

Charles Gunn: You check her pad?
Angel: I stopped there earlier.
Charles Gunn: You enjoying your visit to 1973? I meant her message pad.
Angel: Oh. Right. That's a good idea.

"Angel: Judgment (#2.1)" (2000)
Angel: I had to sing Barry Manilow.
Faith: You're kidding.
Angel: In front of people.
Faith: And here I am talking about my petty little problems.
Angel: I just wanted to give you a little perspective.
Faith: "Copacabana"?
Angel: "Mandy." I don't wanna dwell on it.
Faith: The road to redemption is a rocky path.
Angel: That it is.

[Angel stops a demonic ritual sacrifice in a gym. The owner is astonished to see the dead demons on the floor]
Gym's Owner: That guy has horns.
Angel: Steroids. Not good for ya.

Angel: Huh, no reflection. I'll fix that.
[breaks glass]

Angel: There are three things I don't do: tan, date, and sing in public.

Angel: People nowadays. Would it kill him to say thank you?

Angel: It's... sort of my job.
Jo: Your job?
Angel: Yeah, look, I got cards.

Lorne: Why Mandy?
Angel: Well, I-I know the words.
[long pause]
Angel: I kinda think it's pretty.

Angel: Nice horse. Try not to make me look stupid out there, okay?

Jo: Are you okay?
Angel: Yeah.
Jo: You sure seem to bleed a lot.
Angel: It's a part of the job.

Angel: The food getting any better?
Faith: You know, it's not that different from what I grew up on. It's a little one-note, eating the same thing every day.
Angel: I wonder what that's like.

Angel, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Vision!
Cordelia Chase: Just a sneeze.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nasty... demon... , unknown... origin.
Angel: Awful lot of that in this town. I'm sure he'll feel right at home, here.

Angel: The thing about a gym is that you're not alone. You got people around - encourages you to work out.

Angel: [about the gym] You got your steam; you got your sauna, your fresh towels. I mean, how bad could it be?
Cordelia Chase: You shower with a lot of men.
Angel: I'll always be a loner.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I may have someone who can help.
Angel: Who?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A parasite demon named Merl.
Cordelia Chase: Maybe it's time to pay your stoolie a little visit. Make with the chin music until he canaries... I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's a place he hangs out. A safe haven for demons. I've been meaning to take you there, I think it may be of use to us. But...
Angel: But, what?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's a little outside the box.

Angel: You ever hear of a Prio Motu?
Charles Gunn: Is that like a '62 Chevy with the big cam? Alright, I coulda just said "no".

Angel: I told her to come here. She doesn't trust me. Why should she?
Cordelia Chase: You can't see everything. You're just a vampire, like everyone else. That didn't come out right.

Angel: I thought I was out of the tunnel.
Cordelia Chase: Sure, you did. Because the tunnel is... you know, i-it's something we all... Are we talking a real tunnel or symbolic? Just give me that much.
Angel: I-I-I saw the light at the end of the tunnel - that, some day, I might become human. That light was so bright, I thought I was already out.
Cordelia Chase: Yeah. We all got a little cocky, didn't we? It's gonna be a long while till you work your way out. But I know you well enough to know you will. And I'll be with you until you do.
Angel: What about your inevitable stardom?
Cordelia Chase: I'm not saying I won't have a day job.

Faith: Bad day. One the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self-esteem, and a homemade knife, so...
Angel: Oh. Is she... you know... alive?

Faith: Think we might make it?
Angel: We might.

Lorne: Welcome to Caritas. Do you know what that means?
Angel: It's Latin for "Mercy".
Lorne: Smart and cute. How about gracing us with a number?
Angel: I don't sing.

[last lines]
Angel: I remember all my life, how you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. Mandy, um... Look in their eyes, I see them in... How you kissed me and stopped me. It's shaking baby. Freaks in the house, up front here. Oh, Mandy. What's everyone doing in my living room? Oh, Mandy. Oh, Mandy.

Angel: [singing] But you came and you gave without taking / But I sent you away, oh, Mandy.

"Angel: Over the Rainbow (#2.20)" (2001)
Lorne the Host: How you holding up?
Angel: I wanna go, bad. I'm just waitin' for Wes to have that "Eureka" moment.
Wesley: [runs in shouting] Eureka!
Angel: Oh, jeez. Thank God.
Lorne the Host: [surprised] You mean he actually really says "Eureka"?

[arrived in another dimension, in daylight]
Charles Gunn: You all see the street do that bendy thing?
Angel: So we made it then, this is your world?
Lorne the Host: Ah, yes. Home sweet hell.
Angel: Ha, I'm not on fire.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And, we're together! And we didn't merge into a freakish four-man Siamese twin.
Charles Gunn: That was a risk? How come nobody told me that was a risk?
Angel: [happy] Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?
Lorne the Host: Ah, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, all right.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Wesley, Angel, Lorne, and Gunn are surrounded by a mob of Pyleans] We've been through a lot together fellows. Fought a lot of battles. Faced some pretty steep odds...
Gunn: [to Angel] I'll take the twenty on the left, you take the fifty on the right.
Angel: Okay.

Angel: I don't wanna research, all right? I wanna jump through the big swirly hole thingy and save Cordelia.

Wesley: We might never be able to get back!
Angel: It's Cordy.

Angel: What, is it out of batteries? Is this thing out of batteries?
Lorne the Host: I don't know. I don't know how it works.
Angel: Dammit! I just got her back.

Angel: Start talkin'.
Lorne the Host: About my dimension? Sure, okay, let's see... , uh, I was there, I came here. I like here, I-I don't wanna go there.

Angel: Lawyers. Don't you people sleep during the day?

Angel: Let's start gathering some branches, some brush, anything that'll cover up the car. Oh hey, look. There's some over in that patch of sun... I'll get 'em!
[rushes off]

Lorne the Host: Oh, am I glad to see you. And so much less dead than I expected.
Angel: What'd they do to you?
Lorne the Host: Well, first there was the welcome home parade thrown in my honor, ticker tape, streamers. Honestly, I was so touched I almost wept.
Lorne the Host: Locked me in a room, pushed me around, asked a bunch of questions. Your standard film noir.

[first lines]
Wesley: Cordy?
Angel: Cordelia? Cordy? Cordy?
Wesley: Oh, no. Oh, my God, no. How could I have let this happen?
Angel: No, she's here somewhere. She's just hiding. Cordy? Cordy?
Wesley: Angel?
Angel: What?
Wesley: She's gone. Cordy's been sucked into the portal. She's in the Host's dimension now.
Angel: [to Lorne] Where's Cordelia?

Wesley: I suppose I could try a binding spell of some kind, something that would fuse us together as we enter the portal.
Angel: Good, let's do that. That's...
Wesley: However we could emerge on the other side as a freakishly hybridized Siamese twin.
Angel: Keep looking.

Angel: [to Wesley] How quick can we get out of this world?

Angel: [the suns of Pylea is not affecting Angel] Why am I not on fire?
Charles Gunn: Yo, that was phat!
Wesley: Well it is another dimension. Perhaps theres some...
Lorne the Host: Back up, Copernicus. That's suns. Plural.
Wesley: Suns, yes. Well, perhaps they don't have the same effect on vampires.
[pinches Angel's cheek]
Angel: Watch it, alright? Hey!
Wesley: Fascinating!

Lorne the Host: I think we're only a couple of miles from town but, we'll have to walk it.
Angel: No problem here, walkin' in the sun. Hey, do it all the time.
Wesley: Yes, we're all heartily aware that you're not on fire. Shall we go?

[last lines]
Angel: One...
Constable Narwek: Open the doors.
Angel: Two...
Cordelia: [Cordelia clears her throat] Hi guys.

Angel: I think we might have a lead on Cordy.
Lorne the Host: You found her?
Angel: No. I heard two guys talking about a girl with visions. Said she was cursed.
Lorne the Host: Yikes. I don't like the sound of that.
Angel: They mentioned something about a Covenant. Something about performing tests on her.
Wesley: Angel, I hate to state the obvious. But we need to get out of here.

Angel: [to Wesley and Lorne after Cordelia is sucked into the other dimension] We're gonna open up another portal. And we're going in after her.

Gavin Park: I represent Wolfram & Hart.
Angel: I'm already bored.

"Angel: Smile Time (#5.14)" (2004)
Polo: So, you got a little demon in you?
Angel: I got a lot of demon in me.

Angel: Harmony, get my call list.
Harmony: Um...
Angel: And Spike needs a car.
Spike: You heard the puppet.

Angel: Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do!

Nina: Is there a reason why you won't look at me?
Angel: 'Cause I'm under my desk?

Spike: Hey, big guy. Need another car. 'Fraid this last one ended up in the drink.
Angel: Spike...
Spike: Look at you.
Angel: Spike, just turn around and walk away.
Spike: You're a...
Angel: Spike!
Spike: You're a bloody puppet!

Fred: [after Angel's been turned into a puppet] Oh, my God! Angel, you're... cute.
Angel: Fred, don't.
Fred: Oh, but the little hands! And the hair.
Angel: Hey! You're fired.

Angel: What are you people lookin' at? Well?
Spike: They're lookin' at the wee little puppet man.

Angel: I was turned into a puppet last night.
Nina: I... uh... wow. Are you - are you okay?
Angel: I'm made of felt.
[takes off nose]
Angel: And my nose comes off.

Angel: Stupid fingers! Stupid string!

[Angel, as a puppet, gets more and more angry while watching "Smile Time"]
Angel: Wes, put the Special Ops team on Red Alert!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Red Alert?
Angel: I want helicopters and tear gas!
Gunn: Angel, we...
Angel: This is WAR!
Lorne the Host: Angel, baby, muppet, pumpkin, um... this show is number one in it's time slot. Tykes love it all across the southland. We can't just toss a Jihad at their studio.
Angel: Ohh, right.

Polo: After all, it's "Smile Time"!
Angel: No, it's not... it's time to kick your ass all the way back to hell!

Angel: I'm not very good at any of this. I spent so much time worrying about the past and the future and my very complicated life. It's been a while since I looked up and really saw what was goin' on around me. It's not my strong suit, you know, but I'm workin' on it. I'm paying better attention to...
[Nina's turned into a werewolf, and grabs Angel]
Angel: Oh! Geez! No! No, Nina! Bad Nina!

Lorne the Host: Maybe you have some type of puppet cancer.
Angel: I do not have puppet cancer! Come on, guys. This is a serious situation. I'm a puppet, and there are children's lives at-
[sees the time]
Angel: Hey, it's Smile Time!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This transformation may have altered your stress-response mechanism.
Angel: What?
Gunn: He's saying you have the proportionate excitability of a puppet your size.

Angel: Well, then...
[grabs a huge sword]
Angel: Let's take out some puppets.

[about Nina's advances]
Wesley: How did you respond?
Angel: Well, of course I ignored it completely, changed the subject and locked her in a cage.

Nina: You doing anything for breakfast?
Angel: You know, drinking blood.

[about Nina]
Angel: Wes, it's not gonna happen.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Because I'm not that guy! That guy is charming and funny and... emotionally useful. I'm the guy in the dark corner with the blood habit and 200 years of psychic baggage.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Get over it!
Angel: Why are you yelling at me?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Because! Angel, if there's a woman out there, who you find truly attractive, who you think about, let's say, most of the time, who represents even part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for, and who doesn't view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on, you have to do something about it.

"Angel: Darla (#2.7)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: [to Angel about finding Darla] Am I the only one who thinks this is just a really bad idea?
Angel: We can't just sit around here waiting for Wolfram and Hart to make a move. It's time we got ahead of the game.
Cordelia Chase: This won't involve kidnapping again, will it?
Angel: All we're going to do is find her.
Cordelia Chase: And this would be the same woman that you didn't notice was in your bedroom every night for three weeks straight?
Angel: That was different.
Cordelia Chase: Different in the sitting-on-top-of-you sense, yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia has a point.
Cordelia Chase: Finally!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The last time Darla emerged, she wanted to be found. Now, she's out there among six million other people.
Cordelia Chase: She could be sitting on top of anybody!
Angel: Come on, guys. We're a detective agency. We investigate things. That's what we're good at.
Cordelia Chase: That's what we suck at. Let's face it, unless there's a website called "www dot oh by the way, we have Darla stashed here dot com", we're pretty much out of luck.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not going to be easy.
Cordelia Chase: Well, before, he said he could smell her.
[to Angel]
Cordelia Chase: How about, we cruise around with the top down, and you take big, big whiffs?
[there is no reaction]
Cordelia Chase: We'll wait until after the sun sets, obviously.
Charles Gunn: Big law firm. They gotta have housing for their out-of-towners, right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "Out-of-towners"? It's not as if they flew her in from Miami. She was raised from the very depths of hell by an ancient and very dangerous ritual.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and...? They still gotta put her up, don't they. That's an expense. You're telling me, these lawyers haven't figured out a way to write that off?

Angel: All we're gonna do is find her.
Cordelia Chase: And this would be the same woman that you didn't notice was in your bedroom every night for, like, three weeks strait?
Angel: That was different.
Cordelia Chase: Different in the sitting right on top of you sense. Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia has a point.
Cordelia Chase: Finally!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The last time Darla emerged, she wanted to be found. Now, she's out there among six million other people.
Cordelia Chase: She could be sitting on top of anybody.

[Darla has smashed all the mirrors in her apartment]
Angel: It makes sense. She was a vampire. Now she has a soul.
Cordelia Chase: That makes sense? So why don't you go around smashing mirrors?
Angel: Because I don't have to look at myself in them.

Angel: I also know what she's goin' through. And unlike me, maybe she won't have to go through it alone.
Cordelia Chase: You're not alone.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You yourself wondered for a hundred years without ever seeking redemption.
Angel: That's right. I sought her.

Angel: [to Lindsey] If this is a trick, just know I'll be comin' back for ya. Hell, I just might e comin' back for ya anyway.

The Master: We stalk the surface to feed and grow our ranks. We do not live amongst the human pestilence.
Angel: [as Angelus]
Angel: Well be honest. - You really couldn't with that face, now could you?

Angel: [as Angelus, to Darla while The Master is beating him] Tell the truth. - Whose face do you want to look at for all eternity? His, or mine?

Darla: [looking at a dead body] So beautiful. Not a blemish, not a freckle. Perhaps we should have preserved that beauty for eternity-?
Angel: [as Angelus] Still, - he won't now age.
Darla: No, but he'll rot. Seems a pity.
Drusilla: When I bit into him, I could hear the ocean.
Darla: Of course you could.
Drusilla: I'm full and warm, yet all alone.
Angel: [as Angelus] That's not true, precious. You've got us.
Drusilla: Not in the least. You won't even hurt me just a little bit.
Darla: All you have to do is ask.
Drusilla: No. His head's too full of you, Grandmother.
Darla: Stop calling me that.
Drusilla: Don't be cross. I could be your mummy...
Angel: Well, if you're lonely, Dru, why don't you make yourself a playmate?
Drusilla: I could! I could pick the wisest and bravest knight in all the land and make him mine forever with a kiss.
Spike: [walking past] Bloody... watch where you're going!
Darla: Or you could just take the first drooling idiot that comes along.

Angel: We need to narrow it down further. Keep looking.
Cordelia Chase: And my sister's living in Unit Three Nineteen.
Angel: You don't have a sister.
Cordelia Chase: Sure I do. My older, way older, like, four hundred-years-older, blonde sister, Darla. No last name. I've been desperately trying to find her because Mom and Dad are in the coma. Sue, the property manager, was very helpful. She even cried.

Angel: [on phone] Darla?
Darla: [on phone] My boy. - My darling boy...
Angel: [on phone] Where are you?
Darla: [on phone] Better question: - Where was I? I don't remember anything. It's a great big nothing. Could it be there's no hell?
Angel: [on phone] There's a hell. A few of them. I've been to one.

Darla: Then turn me back! My God! I can't bear this pounding in my chest for another instant!
Angel: It's a gift... to feel that heartbeat. To know, really and for once, that you're alive. You're human again, Darla. Do you know what that means?
Darla: Of course I do. It means pain, and suffering and disease and death! Look, I released you from this world once. I gave you eternal life. Now it's time for you to return the favor.
Angel: Favor? Is that what you think? You think you did me a favor?
Angel: You damned me.

[last lines]
Angel: I can't...
Darla: ...What do you mean, you can't? You won't.
Angel: I can't seem to be what I'm not... I'm sorry.
Darla: You disgust me.
Angel: Darla, wait.
Darla: No! Don't look for me again.

[first lines]
Angel: [without looking up] What is it, Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: "It"? There's no "it". "It's" nothing, really. Just popping around, to see if everything's alright.
Angel: Fine.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, good. Good. You're certain?
Angel: Uh-huh. Good night.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good night.
Angel: You're still here.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Apparently. So... you're sure there's nothing on your mind? That is to say, nothing you'd like to perhaps, share.
Angel: Nope.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [flatly, after seeing dozens of sketches of Darla spread out over the floor] Really.

Angel: [to Lindsay] If this is a trick, just know I'll be coming back for you. Hell. I just might be coming back for you anyway.

Darla: [to Drucilla and Spike] So, where have you two been?
Drusilla: May I tell?
Spike: No need to be humble.
Drusilla: My little Spike just killed himself a Slayer!
Darla: [to Angelus] Did you hear that?
Angel: [as Angelus - not pleased] Congratulations. I guess that makes you one of us.
Spike: Don't be so glum, mate. The way you tell it, one Slayer snuffs it, another rises. I figure there's a new Chosen One, getting all chosen as we speak. I'll tell you what: if and when this new bird shows up, - I'll give you first crack at her.
Drusilla: I smell fear...
Angel: [as Angelus] This whole place reeks of it.
Drusilla: It's intoxicating.
Angel: Let's get out of here. This rebellion's starting to bore me.

Angel: [Angel, in his office scans a large book. Wesley knocks and enters] Darla. Anglo-Saxon derivation. Meaning "dear one". It didn't come into common usage until more than a hundred years after she was born... He must've given it to her...
[closes the book]
Angel: I didn't even know her real name.
[Angel tosses the book onto his desk and rubs his eyes]
Angel: Any luck?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Not yet, no. We're working on it.
Angel: Something will come up.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes. That's my fear...
[Angel looks at him. Wesley pulls the door shut]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, you must admit your record when it comes to Darla has been spotty at best.
Angel: I killed her, Wesley. And she came back. They brought her back. And now I need to know why. Why like this? - Why human?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps human was the only way Wolfram and Hart could bring her back - at least and hope to control with any degree of success. Angel, I don't suppose it occurred to you that this might be why they've brought her back? You have all your attention focused on finding this one woman.
Angel: So you think Wolfram and Hart went to all this trouble just to keep me distracted? Take me out of the game?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It is possible. And, if that's the case...
Angel: It's working.

Charles Gunn: Want me to come with you?
Angel: No. This is something I have to do on my own.
[Cordelia brings him his car keys]
Angel: Thanks.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel...
Angel: I know, Wesley. I could be walking into a trap. I get that.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not convinced you do.
Angel: Look, she asked for my help. I can't turn my back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. And you shouldn't... Not for one moment. You know better than anyone what she was.
Angel: What we were. And I also know what she's going through. And unlike me, maybe she wont have to go through it alone.
Cordelia Chase: You're not alone.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You may be right. She may be experiencing all of this exactly as you did. But, Angel, - you yourself wondered for a hundred years, before ever seeking redemption.
Angel: That's right. I sought her.

"Angel: Not Fade Away (#5.22)" (2004)
[last lines; the gang faces an endless onslaught of demons]
Spike: And in terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
Spike: Bit more specific?
Angel: Well, personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon. Let's go to work.

[Angel is thrown through a window and lands in the building lobby]
Harmony: Oh, my God!
Angel: Hamilton...
Harmony: He's not my boyfriend! I mean... I certainly didn't betray you!
Angel: Drop the act, Harm.
Harmony: It's not an act. I'm really this nervous.
Angel: I knew you'd turn on me. I just didn't know when.
Harmony: What do you mean you knew?
Angel: Loyalty... really isn't high on your list.
Harmony: Oh, is that right? I'll have you know I am damn loyal, dumb-ass!
Angel: You betrayed me! You are betraying me now even as we are talking.
Harmony: Because you never have any confidence in me.
Angel: No. Because you have no soul.
Harmony: I would if you had confidence in me!
Angel: Get out of the building.
Harmony: Are you firing me?
Angel: Among other things, yes!
Harmony: Do you think I could get a recommendation?
Angel: Yeah, okay.
Harmony: But, see, if you don't so much live as the other thing, how will I...
Angel: It's already on the desk.
Harmony: Oh, you're the best!

Angel: [after drinking Hamilton's "super blood"] Wow! You really are full of it. Now... what was that you were saying about ancient power?

Angel: Then we're all agreed.
Spike: Yeah. We're all one big happy Manson family.

Marcus Hamilton: Let me say this as clearly as I can. You cannot beat me. I am a part of them. The Wolf, Ram, and Hart. Their strength flows through my veins. My blood is filled with their ancient power.
Angel: Can you pick out the one word there you probably shouldn't have said?

Connor: What'll we do?
Angel: You go home.
Connor: Huh?
Angel: This is my fight.
Connor: That's some serious macho... ah!
[building continues to collapse]
Angel: Go home, now!
Connor: They'll destroy you.
Angel: As long as I know you're okay, they can't. Go!

Charles Gunn: Any word on Wes?
Illyria: Wesley's dead. I'm feeling grief for him. I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence.
Spike: Well, wishes just happen to be horses today.
Angel: [Looking at the approaching mob of demons] Among other things.

Angel: What are you doing here?
Connor: You drop by for a cup of coffee and the world's not ending? Please!

[about Angel's master plan for taking down the Circle of the Black Thorn]
Lindsey McDonald: If you want me, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey.
Angel: Thinkin' about rephrasing that.
Lindsey McDonald: Yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable if you did.

Angel: This may come out a little pretentious, but... one of you will betray me.
[Spike raises his hand]
Angel: Wes.
Spike: [disappointed] Oh. Can I deny you three times?

[Angel runs in to his office and finds Eve there as the building of Wolfram & Hart is tumbling around them]
Eve: What the hell is going on?
Angel: Looks like we're getting kicked out of the garden, Eve.
Eve: Where's Lindsey? Where is he?
Angel: He's not comin' for you.
Eve: You...
Angel: Time to go.
Eve: [grim tone] Go where?

Marcus Hamilton: You don't really think you're gonna win this, do you? You don't stand a chance. We are a legion. We are forever!
Angel: Then I guess "forever" for you just got a hell of a lot shorter.

Marcus Hamilton: The senior partners have expended an awful lot of time and resources into you. Personally, if it was up to me, I would have told them not to bother. You're gutter trash. That's where you should have stayed. Drinking and whoring your way through an unremarkable life. But the fates stepped in and made you a vampire... with a soul, no less. A champion. A hero to the people. And yet, you still managed to fail everyone around you. Doyle, Cordelia, Fred... dead. They're all gone. It's time you followed. Did you really think you were gonna kill Archduke Sebassis?
Angel: No. I think I already did.
[cut to Sebassis drinking]
Angel: I spiked his drink.
[flashback showing when Angel poisoned Sebassis's slave, then cut to Sebassis dying]
Angel: I figured you were the one I needed to be alone with.
Marcus Hamilton: Why? So I could kill you?
Angel: Well, I thought the fight would be going a little better.
Marcus Hamilton: Oh.
[tosses Angel]

Angel: I don't remember what it was like. Being human. It was too long ago.
Harmony: Not so great. Zits, dandruff, mortality. Although, I do remember... my heart. And the way it would thump when I kissed a really hot boy for the first time. That was cool.

Angel: You haven't heard a word I've said.
Angel: For, like, years back.
Lindsey McDonald: Well, you get a little speechy, alright? I breeze out.

Marcus Hamilton: Why do you keep fighting? You just signed away your role in the Shanshu. There's nothing in it for you anymore.
Angel: People like you, who don't care about anyone or anything, will never understand the people who do.
Marcus Hamilton: Yeah... but we won't care!

Spike: So... if any of us makes it through this alive, does one of us get to be a real boy?
Angel: Who are you kidding, Spike? You know that none of us are gonna make it through this night alive.
Spike: Good. As long as it's not you.

[Angel punches Hamilton in the chest who barely flinches]
Angel: Uh... did that hurt at all?
Marcus Hamilton: A little bit. But you know how it is... it comes with the job.
[Hamilton picks up Angel with one hand and tosses him across the room]

"Angel: Lonely Heart (#1.2)" (1999)
Angel: I'm just asking you not to go in there.
Kate Lockley: Where are you going?
Angel: In there.
Kate Lockley: Well, I'll tell you what, I can go wherever I want, oh, and you can ah, go to Hell!
Angel: [sighs] Been there, done that.

Kate Lockley: What do you do?
Angel: Do?
Kate Lockley: For a living.
Angel: I uh, well, basically I'm, uh, I help... I'm a veterinarian.

Allen Francis Doyle: Tell her what a great guy I am.
Angel: I barely know you.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well perfect, that should make it easier for you then.

Kate Lockley: Way to come off like a drunken slut. Slut's better than a hypocrite, though, right? Moving up.
Angel: You're kinda hard on yourself.
Kate Lockley: Well, I'm a self-flagellating-hypocrite-slut.

Angel: This socializing thing is brutal. I mean, I was young, once. I used to go to bars. It was never like this.
Allen Francis Doyle: Nah, you used to go to taverns, man. Small towns, everybody used to know each other.
Cordelia: Yeah, like high school. It's easy to date there. I mean, we all had so much in common. Being monster food every other week, for instance.

Cordelia: I guess the single life's particularly tough on you.
Angel: Why?
Cordelia: Well, a couple hundred years ago, the only thing you had to worry about was a hangover. Today, 'cause of your curse thingy, you can't sleep with anyone or else you might feel a moment of true happiness and lose your soul, become evil - again - and kill everyone.
Angel: Thanks, Cordelia. I always appreciate your perspective.
Cordelia: No problem. Hey, the last thing I want is to show up at the office and find that I'm working for a homicidal monster.

Angel: [to Doyle] Where'd you pick up computer skills?
Cordelia: Downloading pictures of naked women?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, that's more or less accurate.

Angel: You actually live here?
Cordelia: [insulted] Yes. Okay? Is it my fault that maid service was interrupted? It was supposed to go: home, hotel, hotel, husband.

Angel: I saw it. It's a burrower.
Cordelia: It's a donkey? Oh, we didn't see any donkey demons.

Angel: We're on the same side.
Kate Lockley: You're telling me you're an investigator?
Angel: More or less.
Kate Lockley: Where's your license?
Angel: That's the "less" part.

[First lines]
[Angel is, characteristically, moping in the dark in his office when Doyle comes in]
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you know, maybe we should go over this thing again of you getting out in the world and involving yourself with people. It's Friday night. It's the most social night of the week! A couple of lookers like us should be out there enjoying the nightlife. Not sitting here in the dark like some kind of...
Angel: ...some kind of vampire?
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, yeah. I was going to say slacker, but, yeah, to you, Mr. Obvious. You got to come out, man!
Angel: Why?
Allen Francis Doyle: Because we deserve a night of fun, don't you think? I mean, it breaks up those nights of death and mayhem. Plus, we could toast the new business, you know, the three of us.
[He whistles and tilts his head towards the outer office]
Angel: Yeah, Doyle, if you want to ask Cordelia out, just do it yourself.
Allen Francis Doyle: I don't even know if she likes me, man - unless you put a word in for me - you know, just tell her what a great guy I am!
Angel: I barely know you.
Allen Francis Doyle: Perfect. That should make it easier for you, then.

Cordelia: [Trying to interview people about usual occurrences at a bar, and not having any luck] How's Angel doing?
Angel: [Cut to Angel standing by the bar. A guy is walking away from him shaking his head] No seriously, I wasn't hitting on you!

Angel: Look, if you ever need me, or if I can help you in anyway...
[Gives her a card]
Kate Lockley: [Looks at the card] What is this, a lobster?

Angel: I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, - you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation I was thinking, - the night being, you know, young and all - that the three of us - could - well, should, - You know, maybe, - go out, - you know,
[awkward pause]
Angel: ... for fun.
Cordelia: Or we can go home.
Allen Francis Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
Angel: [breathing a sigh of relief] God, yes! Thank you.

Allen Francis Doyle: Great idea! Calling cards. It's not like you have a signal folks can shine in the sky when ever they need help, you know?
Angel: [Angel takes a card] Hey, look at that, there is our number. It's right next to a... a um - a - a butterfly?
Allen Francis Doyle: [Looks a Cordy's face then back down at the card he is holding] It's obviously not a butterfly, you idiot. It's a - a bird. No, no, wait, it's an owl. A - a bird that hunts at night. Brilliant! It's a- a...
Cordelia: [Interrupting angrily] It's an angel!

Angel: [to Angel] You're not human.
Neil: News flash, pal, you're a bit of the evolutionary chart yourself.

Angel: The right body? What's wrong with this one?
Neil: Nothing, - yet. It's new and different. It's great... But it won't last. I already know it's not the I can live in.
Angel: Well, then it'll have to be the one you die in
[Attacks the demon]

[Kate has caught Angel bending over a dead body]
Angel: Kate! I know what this looks like...
Kate Lockley: [pulling her gun and showing her badge] So do I.

"Angel: Fredless (#3.5)" (2001)
Angel: [talking about Fred] I'm gonna miss her. She was just this nice, quiet, kind of crazy. I found that soothing.
Cordelia: And what, I'm not soothing? I can be soothing. I could soothe your ass off, pal.

Fred: [talking obliquely about Buffy] So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, *Fred*, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say... , no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also... nuh-uh.
Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sorta thing, why wouldn't it work?
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred.
[imitating Buffy]
Cordelia: Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but...
Wesley: [imitating Angel] But... my gypsy curse, sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley: Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: [entering, surprising everyone] How about you both bite me?
Fred: You're back!
Charles Gunn: How'd it go?
Angel: I think those two pretty much summed it up. To be honest I really don't want to talk about it.

Angel: I doubt it. Durslar beasts don't usually come above ground like that. They usually stick to the sewers.
Fred: Lucky stiffs. They get to lead lives of mysterious sewage while I'm just plain ol' boring ol' Fred.
Angel: Boring? That's not a word I'd use for you
Fred: Fine. Nutty-ol'-goonie-bird-up-in-her-room-doin'-nothin'-but-moochin'-off-Angel Fred. I swear, I don't know how y'all put up with me. I practically need flashcards to understand my-
[looks past Angel]
Fred: Pretty crystals. Oh, look. They're everywhere.

Cordelia: Pfft! Sneaking off, right.
[talking about Angel]
Cordelia: Fred can barely tie her shoes without Mr. Oh-You're-My-Big-Fat-Hero! around.
Angel: You think I'm fat?

Cordelia: Now we'll never, ever know.
Angel: [almost out the door] That's right.

Angel: So, where do we start? Where would Fred go?
Charles Gunn: We could hit all the local taco stands.
[everyone looks at him]
Charles Gunn: Joke. Kinda.

Charles Gunn: [about Trish] Lady makes bug soup with a ten-ton bus, but show her a papier mâché head and she gets the willies. Huh, women.
Angel: Uh, Gunn, you do know it's not papier mâché?
Charles Gunn: [Gunn quickly drops head] We still got that bleach in the bathroom?

Cordelia: But, Angel, we're your friends. And, and it's not healthy to repress stuff like this. You need to share your pain, express those feelings of grief and longing or... the curiosity is gonna kill me!
Angel: Oh,no. Wouldn't want that.
Fred: Personally, I don't care at all what happened.
Cordelia: Shut up, Fred.

Angel: [to Fred] Durslar Beasts are pretty Faulknerian. Lotta sound, no fury.

Fred: This has been the best night ever. First, there's you taking me to ice cream, then there's the ice cream, then that monster jumps out of the freezer and you're all brave and, "Fred, watch out!," and then we get to chase it down into the sewers, which are just so bleak, and oppressive and homey. I-I could build a condo down here.
Angel: Well, I'm glad you're having fun.

Angel: [on his cell phone, trying to find Fred] What? No. You? Oh! You mean the place where she would go for help and guidance! And we call ourselves detectives. I'll meet you there.

Angel: Look, Lorne, I'm sorry about the bar, but right now Fred is missing, and we need your help.
Lorne: Oh, really? Yeah, well, I am not some mystical vending machine, here to spit out answers every time you waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted, it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart, and that heart is broken. I mean, why is it nobody ever cares about my destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about "me, me, me" - well what about my me? My me's important!
Angel: You know where she is, don't you?
Lorne: And another thing: How... How do they get the pimiento's in the olives huh? There's a mystery for you. Yeah. Do they stuff each one by hand? 'Cause that seems a little time-consuming. Or, do you think they have a little pimieno-stuffing machine?

Cordelia: Voilá! That's French for "I think we stopped the bleeding".
Fred: Thanks, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Next up, Multiple stab wounds. Angel!
Angel: Uhh! That's my turn! Oh, yay!
Cordelia: What a dork.

Trish Burkle: [about Angel saving Fred] He seems to do that a lot, doesn't he?
Fred: It's what he does. Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, and Gunn's the muscle and Cordy's the heart, and I'm...
Roger Burkle: And to think, we were wondering when to call the cops on a bunch of superheroes!
Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
Charles Gunn: More like a bloodsucking fiend.
Roger Burkle: Well, frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.

Angel: [looks at writing on the walls in Fred's room] Are you gonna remember everything that's up there?
Fred: Well, sure. It's a story. Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived all alone in a horrible cave - so far from home that it made her chest hurt. And every day in that horrible cave, the girl tried to figure out a way to escape. None of her plans ever succeeded, of course and she'd almost given up hopin' when one day, just like in a fairy tale, a handsome man rode up on a horse and saved her, and took her back to his castle. Now, you'd think that was the end, wouldn'tcha? Dumb old fairy tales and their "happily ever after's". But, see, the minute they got back to the castle, the handsome man went away again. And even though she didn't mean to - didn't want to - high up in that castle the girl just built herself another cave, hoping that he would save her again.
[to Angel]
Fred: But you can't save me this time, can you?

Cordelia: In a really weird way, you know who I miss?
Wesley: Fred.
Cordelia: Actually, I was gonna say her parents. Is that wrong?
Angel: I don't think so. They were very - nice.
Cordelia: Nice? They weren't just nice, Angel. They were...
Charles Gunn: Parents.
Wesley: They loved her, supported her, didn't grind her down into a - tiny self-conscious nub with their constant berating, their never ending tirade of debasement, and scorn and...
Cordelia: At least now, Fred's got a shot at a normal life. Not that I don't love you guys, and L.A., and my work... but, things are just never normal around here, you know?

Roger Burkle: Now, Spiro Agnew, I know he was a...
Angel: Grathnar demon! You knew that? I thought I was the only one that knew that!
Roger Burkle: What else would he be but a demon?

"Angel: Underneath (#5.17)" (2004)
Angel: [about Eve's replacement as the Senior Partner's liason] Damn. He is well-dressed.

[as the Camaro SS is driving itself]
Angel: This is weirdin' me out. Is this weirding you out?
Spike: What, you never heard of Knight Rider? Knight Industries 2000? KITT? Never mind.

Angel: [to Spike] This isn't a meeting, this is you being annoying.

[Gunn has to take Lindsey's place in hell]
Angel: You knew.
Gunn: Thing about atonement.

Lorne: Where's Gunn?
Lorne: Angel?
Angel: He, uh, he stayed behind.
Lorne: Stayed behind? But you never leave a...
[Angel gives him a look]
Lorne: Or I guess we do. That's what we do now.

Lindsey McDonald: That's what I like to see. Angel of yore. Takes no prisoners. Suffers no fools. How about this? It's here. It's been here all along, underneath. You're just too damn stupid to see it.
Angel: See what?
Lindsey McDonald: The Apocalypse, man. You're soakin' in it.
Spike: I've seen an Apocalypse or two in my time. I'd know if one was going on under my nose.
Lindsey McDonald: Not "an" Apocalypse. "The" Apocalypse. What... you think a gong was gonna sound? Time to jump on your horses and fight the big fight? Starting pistol went off a long time ago, boys. Since you came to work here at Wolfram & Hart, you're playin' for the bad guys. Every day you sit behind your desk and you learn a little more how to accept the world the way it is. Well, here's the rub. Heroes don't do that. Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it.
Angel: You're saying that everything we do here... it's a distraction to keep us busy from looking under the surface?
Lindsey McDonald: Ding! We got a winner. Every day the world keeps slidin' towards entropy and degradation. And what do you do? You sit in your big chair and you sign your checks... just like the Senior Partners planned. The war's here, Angel, and you're already two soldiers down.

Angel: The Senior Partners - I wanna know everything you know about them. About the Apocalypse. About their plans for me.
Spike: And for me. The guy with the pen said, "welcome to the team". Must've ment something.
Lindsey McDonald: You already know what I know. Look around. The world's a cesspool, filled with selfish and greedy beasts. We live. We die.
[to Eve]
Lindsey McDonald: Even you, babe.
Eve: Lindsey, don't.
Lindsey McDonald: You still happy to see me?
Angel: Yeah, Hell's on Earth. That's how Wolfram & Hart operates and thrives. Holland Manners tried to sell me that line three years ago.
Lindsey McDonald: Did you ever prove him wrong?
Angel: [beat] All how you look at the glass.

Lindsey McDonald: Look, it's the hero of the hour.
Angel: I'm not your hero. I'm your warden.
Lindsey McDonald: It's all how you look at the glass.
Angel: I'd have thought a few months of torture at the hands of the Senior Partners would've dug a little deeper.
Lindsey McDonald: Just scratched the surface. Turns out they can only undo you as far as you think you deserve to be undone. I wonder how Gunn's gonna make it out.

[after the Senior Partners find Eve]
Eve: You bastard, you told them! You...
Angel: Wasn't me!

Angel: [about Fred] I should never have let her come here. Bad things always happen here.
Spike: Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen everywhere.

Spike: You're fixin' to do something stupid, aren't you?
Angel: Done it. Came here.

Spike: Where you goin'?
Angel: To see my lawyer.

Angel: Gunn, you paid a high price for what's in that brain, so use it.

Lindsey McDonald: Angel.
[sees a knife on Angel's belt]
Lindsey McDonald: Make it quick.
Angel: If I was gonna kill you, it wouldn't be quick.

Angel: What the hell are you doin'?
Gunn: What needs to be done.

Spike: Why am I always reconnaissance? I should get a decently flashy job, like save the girl or steal the emerald. Or save the emerald with the girl.
Angel: Handsome man saved me from the monsters...
Spike: Or that... wait, what...
Angel: That's the first thing Fred said to me in Pylea. She was trapped hiding, afraid... nearly crazy - okay, she was crazy, but she was brave. I should have never let her come here. Bad things always happen here.

[Gunn opens the car door, letting sunlight in]
Spike, Angel: Ahhh!
Gunn: Alternate dimension, remember? Sun's the non-frying variety.
Spike: Figured that.
Angel: Oh, right.

"Angel: Offspring (#3.7)" (2001)
Angel: [about Darla] She bit Cordy.
Lorne: Oh, sweetie. Are you alright?
Angel: No. Where is she?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.
Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but...

Darla: You so wanna play the good guy, don't you? Yeah, you're the good guy who did this to me! You may have the face, but you don't know the hunger. It pounds! You can't make it go away! You can't stop it!
Angel: I'll stop it!

Angel: You know, I've been around a long time...
Cordelia Chase: Which reminds me, next birthday, you think we could skip the two hundred and fifty odd candles on the cake and the inevitable fire marshall and just go with a little song?
Angel: And I've never known anyone like you.
Cordelia Chase: Well, duh.

Cordelia Chase: [Angel is leering at Cordelia] Okay, it's getting creepy now.
Angel: I was just thinkin' about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. You know, we're very different. *Very* different, obviously. Human, vampire. Woman, man... pire.
Cordelia Chase: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?
Angel: [nervous laughter] See? You're funny! And I - Well, I get off a good one every once in a while, but you...

Angel: Darla.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Darla?
Cordelia Chase: Darla?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Who's Darla?
Charles Gunn: Angel's old flame from way back.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not the one who died?
Charles Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Charles Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.

[first lines]
Daniel Holtz: [in Italian] Thank you, Monseigneur. I am in your debt.
Monseigneur: [in Italian] No, this animal murdered your family. Hold the beast.
Daniel Holtz: [to Angel, in English] Monseigneur Rivalli performed the ceremony when Caroline and I were wed. You remember Caroline.
Angel: [in English] A pretty lass. Hardly screamer.
Daniel Holtz: [in English] The great Monseigneur's since been ex-communicated. The order he founded, "inquisitori", adheres to the old beliefs. They're traditionalists and quite good at their work. Let's get started, shall we?

Angel: Darling...?
Darla: What?
Angel: ...Shouldn't we be killing Holtz?
Darla: I know. But it's just so much fun ruining his life. He's like family now.

Cordelia Chase: Time's a wasting, big guy. Can we do it?
Angel: Okay, last time, we were working on not pulling your punches and your kicks, right? Don't worry about me.
[Cordelia begins throwing punches]
Angel: That's good. Good. That's it. Now where's your weight? Balls of your feet. Don't forget to follow...
[Cordelia punches Angel in the face]
Cordelia Chase: Oops! Oh, God! You said that...
[Angel smiles at Cordelia and appears unhurt]
Cordelia Chase: Are you alright?
Angel: I'm a vampire. You can't hurt me. Good.
[Cordelia laughs and as Angel turns away from her his face twists up in pain and he grabs his nose]

Cordelia Chase: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: What?
Cordelia Chase: I love you, too.
Angel: You do? When did this...?
Cordelia Chase: [to Wes, Gunn, and Fred] Angel loves me, I love him!
Angel: Oh, my God.
Cordelia Chase: You guys love us and we love you.
Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We love you, Angel!

Darla: [seeing the pregnant Darla] This is impossible.
Angel: Tell me about it, Daddy.
Cordelia Chase: You slept with her?

Cordelia Chase: What can we do for you?
Darla: Well, you can get your little gang of supernatural detectives to find out what the hell is happening to me and how to stop it.
Cordelia Chase: [to Angel] Are you going to take some responsibility here? Angel?
Angel: Oh, me? Of course I am. Wes, let's get on this right now.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you suggest?
Angel: I suggest you ah, use your books and find out what's going on. What do I have to think of everything?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [opening a book] Oh, here it is. It says: "I have absolutely no idea what's going on". We should talk to The Host.

Angel: [to Darla, who is biting Cordelia] Get away from her!
[to Cordelia]
Angel: You're gonna be alright. You're gonna be alright. Cordy, you're gonna be alright. Here. I'll kill her for this.
Cordelia Chase: You're gonna have to find her first.

Angel: [talking about Darla] Where is she?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She got away.
Charles Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fist and feet with our faces.

Darla: Go on, do it. Do it! Do it, do it! It won't stop!
Angel: No, it won't. Darla, it won't. Darla, Darla...
Darla: It won't stop!
Angel: Listen, it has a soul.
Darla: What?
Angel: The child. The child has a heart beat, it has a soul.
Darla: Not my child!
Angel: Our child, our child. That's why you've been craving pure, pure blood. That's why it's been driving you out of your mind! It has a soul.
Darla: No, it doesn't.
Angel: It does.
Darla: It can't.
Angel: Yes, it does. Yes, it does.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: When I see you and Cordelia sparring, kyrumption always comes to mind.
Angel: Me and Cordelia?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I know. She's such a hero, with the visions and the courage. It's only natural that you and she will be drawn to one another.

Angel: [looking at the ultrasound] Isn't that a head?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it is, or is that the head?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Maybe you're both right.
[everybody turns to look at her]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not like I'm suggesting it's an evil two headed thing...

"Angel: Dear Boy (#2.5)" (2000)
Angel: It was Darla. She's back. And she's human now. But, you know, I know her scent.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, you can't just, sniff a person and know...
Angel: [sniffing Wesley] You had sex last night with a bleached blonde.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good lord! How'd you...
Cordelia Chase: That's unbelievable. I didn't think you ever had sex.

Angel: [seeing Darla at the hotel] Darla! That's her!

Angel: [as Angelus, about Drucilla] We'll turn her into one of us. Killing is so merciful in the end, isn't it? The pain is ended.
Darla: But to make her one of us?... She's a lunatic.
Angel: [as Angelus] Eternal torment.

Angel: The bitch is, you have a soul now. Pretty soon, those memories are gonna start eatin' away at you. No matter how hard you try, you won't be able to escape the truth of what you were. Believe me, I know.
Darla: But you *can* escape. You can escape it all. Remember what it's like to get lost, huh? Every thought a million miles away, every part of your being alive! All you have to do is let me give you one little moment of happiness.
Angel: You took me places, and showed me things, huh? You blew the top off my head. But you never made me happy.
Darla: But that - that cheerleader did? We were together a hundred and fifty years! We shared everything. You're saying never?
Angel: You couldn't understand.
Darla: I understand, alright. Guy gets taste of something fresh, and he thinks he's touching God.
Angel: It wasn't about...
Darla: Oh, you bet your ass it was! There was a time, in the early years, when you would have said I was the definition of bliss! Buffy wasn't happiness. She was just new!

Angel: [as Angelus] The one in the middle is something delicate and unique. Did you find me a saint?
Darla: Better than that. She has the sight.
Angel: [as Angelus] Visions. She sees the future. She is pure innocence. Yet, she sees what's coming. She knows what I'll do to her.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's just, with Darla back, in league with Wolfram and Hart, there are a lot of forces, a raid against you. There's going to be trouble.
Angel: There's gonna be a lot of trouble. And I say: Bring it on.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We made you some tea.
Angel: Oh. Great.
Cordelia Chase: It's on the table right there in front of you.
Angel: Table seems far.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days. It's like living with the world's oldest teenager.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: He can't be having a growth spurt at two hundred and forty eight, could he?
Angel: Two forty seven!

Angel: [after Cordy has a vision] Are you all right? You sure you don't wanna sit down?
Cordelia Chase: If I sit, I'll throw up in my head.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pointing to a demon in a book] Did it look like this?
Cordelia Chase: No. More mushy and more mouldy. It was growing right out of the wall.
Angel: Maybe, I'll just...
Cordelia Chase: Mush monster's not going anywhere. It's the place that we've gotta find. Its disciples are human; they're killing each other. I think the fight is over how to worship it.
Angel: This is why, personally, I rarely go to church.
[nobody laughs]
Angel: Thought it was funny.

Darla: Down boy, let the plum ripen.
Angelus: You always come up with somethin' new.
Darla: Keeps me young.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [talking about Darla] Vampires don't come back from the dead.
Angel: I did and I saw her. I'm not crazy.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Where?
Angel: Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog.

Angelus: Convents. They're just a big cookie jar.

Angel: You're gonna feel it, you know. What you did. That man you got killed.
Darla: Oh, please. He was an actor.
Angel: I'm serious.
Darla: Yeah, like a heart attack. And just about as much fun.
Angel: Darla, you hurt anyone else and I'll kill you.
Darla: Will you? Isn't that against your Cub Scout code?
Angel: I'll make an exception.

Angel: Stop!
Darla: No, you stop!

Angel: So you're what Wolfram and Hart brought back in that box. And they brought you back as human. They think I won't kill one. Wanna know what I think? I think they don't know me that well.

Angel: [singing] Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight. Everybody have fun tonight.

Angel: [as Angelus, to Darla] Am I learning?

"Angel: Heartthrob (#3.1)" (2001)
Angel: This your idea of love, James? It's not real unless it kills you?
James: Yeah, what's yours? "It's fun as long as it doesn't cost me anything?" You don't know what love is. You think you won because you're still alive? I lived. You just existed.

Angel: I can't come in
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: 'Course not, you're worn from your trip, you go rest, we'll catch up later when you're...
[moves to shut the door]
Angel: Fred, I wanna talk to you, I just can't come in unless you...
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I invite you! Instead of being rude. Oh, come in, come in.

James: Well, this is a new twist in an old snake. Is it possible you care about someone who isn't you?
Angel: Don't worry about her
James: But if you've changed, if you're not the same man who screwed Darla and couldn't care less what happened to her...
Angel: Where did you hear- Oh, you mean back in the day. Right.
Cordelia: He has changed. A lot. He-he has a soul now and he cares about people.
James: [to Angel] So you might feel something when I snap her neck.
Cordelia: Well, it's not like he's losing sleep with the caring.
James: Lucky me, now I can kill the woman you love.
Angel: No you can't.
James: Are you forgetting who's the invincible one here?
Angel: The woman I love... is dead
James: Who are you talking about?
Cordelia: It happened about three months ago. We try not to say her name too much.

Cordelia: How's Fred?
Angel: She's all right, considering. We talked over what happened... and I think she'll be coming out of her room any decade now.

Darla: Young love.
Angelus: Give it a century.
James: A century? A mere hundred years.
Elisabeth: I would need a thousand to sketch the perfect plane of your face.
James: And I would need ten thousand just to name the color of your eyes.
Angelus: They're green. But take your time.

Darla: Didn't we eat a poet in Madrid?
Angelus: Troubadour.

James: Let's give 'em a row. What do you say, Angelus?
Angelus: I'd say you're an idiot, but I'd just be repeatin' myself.

Angel: [about Buffy] What?
Cordelia: What?
Angel: What do you wanna say?
Cordelia: Ah, me? Nothing. What makes you think I wanna...
Angel: 'Cause I know you?
Cordelia: Well, it's really none of my business.
Angel: And that always stops you.
Cordelia: Actually, it is my business, *our* business, 'cause we're tryin' to do a job here, and what affects you affects me, and - Anyway, I don't like to see you suffer more than you have to. I don't think you should blame yourself, or feel guilty for her death.
Angel: I don't.
Cordelia: Good. Glad to hear it.
Angel: I didn't even know who she was when I killed her.
Cordelia: Not her. Angel...
Angel: Oh... You - you wanna talk about...
Cordelia: She was the love of your life and she died. And, you weren't there when it happened. You couldn't help her fight. You couldn't save her. You couldn't die with her.
[long pause]
Cordelia: This is gonna be one of those talks where I do all the talking, isn't it? Well, I'm not gonna pry. It's not my style. Okay, it's totally my style, but I can tell that I'm not getting anywhere right now. But you have to tell me one thing. You owe me this much. What the hell happened with Holtz?

Cordelia: The Ring of Amara. When you had that, you were invincible. Does he have a ring?
Angel: No.
Cordelia: Did the Amara people make cufflinks or belt buckles?
Angel: There was only one.
Cordelia: And you had to smash it!

Cordelia: Ever since you came back from your grief trip, I can tell that something's not right. And-and *obviously* it's not. Buffy's dead, and I don't mean to diminish that. I miss her too. I just wanna say, I know that James, with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you'll be okay.
Angel: I am okay.
Cordelia: Then - What's the problem?
Angel: That I'm okay. That losing Buffy didn't kill me. That I could deal with it. In all those years, no one ever mattered. Not like she did. And now she's gone... forever.
Cordelia: And you're still here.
Angel: Yeah. It just feels like I'm betraying her somehow.
Cordelia: No! If you were a loser, if you were a sick obsessed vampire, then you'd go to a Snod demon, or whatever, and get your heart cut out. But you're not! You're a living, breathing... - well, living, anyway... - good guy, who's still fighting and trying to help people. And that's not betraying her, that's honoring her.
Angel: You think?
Cordelia: I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know. Okay?

Angel: [Angel comes out of a room that is strewn with demon bodies; a monk looks at Angel inquisitively]
[in Tibetan]
Angel: Demon monks. Shoulda gone to Vegas.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Gunn and I'll hit the streets; see what our sources can tell us.
Cordelia: Uh-huh. See? We have sources now.
Angel: Oh, you're almost like real detectives now.

Angelus: [to himself] Why are people always riding off and leaving me? Am I a bad bloke...? I don't think so... Once you get to know me.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I came out of my room. Small steps, like you said.
Angel: Go back to your room and stay there!
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Okay, then.

Darla: [on abandoning Angelus] Of course, when he finally did catch up with me in Vienna, I had to pay for my sins, again and again.
Angelus: Can you even begin to fathom the things we did?
Angelus: Of course not, you're in love.

Angel: [to James] How's that, invincible boy, huh?

"Angel: City of... (#1.1)" (1999)
Russell Winters: We don't have to go around attacking each other. Look at me. I pay my taxes, I keep my name out of the paper, and I don't make waves. In return, I can do anything I want.
Angel: Really? Hm. Can you fly?

Allen Francis Doyle: I've been sent by the powers that be.
Angel: The powers that be what?

Allen Francis Doyle: Once upon a time, there was a vampire. And he was the meanest vampire in all the land. I mean, other vampires were afraid of him he was such a... bastard. Then, one day, he's cursed by gypsies. They restore his human soul. And, all of a sudden, he's mad with guilt. You know, "What have I done! Oh!" He's freaked.
Angel: Uh. Okay, now I'm sleepy.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, well, it's a fairly dull tale. It needs a little sex is my feelin'. So, sure enough, enter the girl; pretty little blonde thing, Vampire Slayer by trade. And our vampire falls madly in love with her. But eventually, the two of them, well, they-they get fleshy with one another. And the moment he- Well, I guess the technical term is "perfect happiness". But when our boy gets there, he goes bad again, he kills again. It's ugly. So, when he gets his soul back for the second time, he figures, hey, he can't be anywhere near Miss Puppy Thighs without endangering them both. So, what does he do? He takes off, goes to L.A. to fight evil and atone for his crimes. He's a shadow. A faceless champion of the human race.

[first lines of the episode and of the series]
Angel: [narrating] Los Angeles. You see it at night and it shines; a beacon. People are drawn to it. People and other things. They come for all sorts of reasons. My reason? No surprise there. It started with a girl.

Allen Francis Doyle: When was the last time you drank blood?
Angel: Buffy.
Allen Francis Doyle: Left you with a bit of craving, didn't it? Let me tell you something, pal, that craving's gonna grow. And one day soon, one of those helpless victims that you don't really care about is gonna look way too appetizing to turn down. And you'll figure, "Hey, what's one against all I've saved? Might as well eat them. Still ahead by the numbers".

Allen Francis Doyle: [when Angel is gathering his stuff before going to Russell's place] Wow, you're really going to war, here. Guess you've, uh, guess you've seen a few in you time, yeah?
Angel: 14, not including Vietnam. They never declared it.

Angel: You don't smell human.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, that's a bit rude. As it happens, I'm very much human.
[he sneezes, his demon face emerges, he shakes it off]
Allen Francis Doyle: On my mother's side.

Angel: Why would a woman I've never met even talk to me?
Allen Francis Doyle: Have you looked in the mirror lately? No, I guess you really haven't, no.

Cordelia: So, um, are you still...
[bares her teeth and makes claws with her hands]
Cordelia: "Grrr"?
Angel: Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that.

Angel: I don't wanna share my feelings. I don't wanna open up. I wanna find the guy that killed Tina, and I wanna look him in the eye.
Allen Francis Doyle: Then what?
Angel: Then I'm gonna share my feelings.

[about Cordelia]
Allen Francis Doyle: She'll provide a connection to the world. She's got a very... humanizing influence.
Angel: You think she's a hottie.
Allen Francis Doyle: Ah, yeah. She's a stiffener, all right. I can't lie about that.

Allen Francis Doyle: You know, there's a lot of people in this city need helpin'.
Angel: So I noticed.
Allen Francis Doyle: You game?
Angel: I'm game.

Good Looking Guy: [turned demon - growls in Angel's face]
Angel: Breath mint?
[brawl ensues]

Tina: The only help I need is a ticket home. And that wasn't me asking for money.
Angel: Where's home?
Tina: Missoula, Montana.
[Angel smiles fondly]
Tina: You've been to Missoula?
Angel: During the Depression.
[Angel sees Tina's questioning look]
Angel: [quickly covering] Uh... my depression. Uh, I was depressed there. But it's pretty country.
Tina: Yeah. Lots of open land. Lots of nothing else.

Cordelia Chase: [after bumping into Angel at a party] Well, I'd better get mingly. I really should be talking to people that *are* somebody. But it was fun!
[Cordelia leaves]
Angel: [to himself] It's nice that she's grown as a person.

Angel: [after jumping into the wrong convertible] Damn it!

"Angel: Sense and Sensitivity (#1.6)" (1999)
[Cordelia clears her throat conspicuously]
Angel: What?
Cordelia: Nothing. I just find it endlessly fascinating how your instincts are so highly attuned when it comes to boring old evil, but you have yet to make any mention of these new shoes.
Angel: Look, Cordelia. Women's shoes... men... they just don't...
[Doyle enters]
Allen Francis Doyle: Great shoes. New?

Angel: Oh, good, you're back. Cordelia, you need to...
Cordelia: No! I don't care what horrible thing is about to happen: Asteroids are hurtling towards Earth, unspeakable evil is rising in the San Fernando valley, Jar-Jar is getting his own talk show. Whatever, I don't wanna hear about it.

Cordelia: [covered in slime and annoyed with Angel] You do remember leaving us in a sewer with a giant calamari?
Angel: Yeah, and you're both here so I assume it went okay, right?
Cordelia: Yeah, it went okay, of course it went okay... *okay* - that's not the point!
Angel: So there is a point?
Cordelia: Being that it is possible to brood and show a little interest in the feelings of others.
Angel: [looks at Doyle, shakes head and sighs]
Allen Francis Doyle: Oh, she thinks you're insensitive and, not to bring up the irony but, heh, consider the source!

Angel: Cordelia, I wanted to, you know, thank you so much for goin' through those coroner reports, because I can imagine how not fun it is to read about, you know, coroner stuff.
Cordelia: Lame.

Angel: My parents were great. Tasted a lot like chicken.

Trevor Lockley: So. Angel. How long you been seeing Katie?
Angel: We're uh... pretty new friends.
Trevor Lockley: Well, good to see her out with a man. I was starting to wonder if she was leaning in an other direction all together.

Angel: You know, Antony, you could be a rainbow and not a
[punches him in the head]
Angel: "pain" bow!

Allen Lloyd: Do you know what anger is? It is nothing but fear.
Angel: Yeah, well, I know what fear is. I can smell it right now.

Cordelia: You've got pensive face.
Angel: I've always got pensive face.
Cordelia: Well, pensive-r face.

Cordelia: [to Angel, after he starts acting "sensitive"] Hey! What's your damage?
Allen Francis Doyle: I think he's just found Mr. Sensitivity.
Angel: [Angel puts a hand on his heart] He was right in here all the time, just waiting to come out. - Gosh, what our folks do to us, huh?

Allen Francis Doyle: Angel, man, you've got to snap out of this!
Cordelia: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy - grr! - Kate needs you.
Angel: [Shakes his head] I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordelia: We won't judge you,
[to Doyle]
Cordelia: will we?
[to Angel]
Cordelia: give it a try.
Angel: [Shakes his head again] Closeness is too important to me right now.

Angel: What's the magic word?
Cordelia: Urgh!
Angel: No, I don't think 'urgh' is the magic word, if one would *call* it a word. And even then it's certainly not a magic one."
Cordelia: We don't have time for this!
Angel: There is always time to be considerate of others, Cordelia.

Angel: [Angel steps up next to Benny and Little Tony wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt and a white hat] Hi. - This is exciting, isn't it? I just love boat trips.
Little Tony Papazian: Who's the mook?
Angel: [Angel reaches his hand out to Benny] Herb Saunders, Baltimore.
Benny: [to Tony] It's Herb Saunders.
Angel: Cripes, the freeways you people have in this town. I've been driving around in circles all day. But the brochure did say the boat's leaving every two hours.
Benny: I think you're still lost.
Angel: [Points at the incoming yacht] That's not the boat to Catalina?
Benny: No.
Angel: Are you sure? I could have sworn the ticket said Pier 39.
[Pats his pockets]
Angel: It's here somewhere. I just had it."
Benny: Come on, get out of here.
Little Tony Papazian: Benny, I don't like that guy.
Angel: It's the hat, isn't it? I knew the hat was too much.
[Starts fighting Benny and Tony's henchmen]

Cordelia: The whole place is going nuts! This is so not good.
Angel: Okay, I think someone needs a hug.
Cordelia, Allen Francis Doyle: Huh?
Cordelia: [Angel pulls them both into a hug] Ack, eww? Eww!

Angel: So I'm a little reserved, that doesn't mean I don't care.
Cordelia: It's like you don't have a pulse!
Angel: ...I don't

"Angel: The Trial (#2.9)" (2000)
Angel: This isn't the answer.
Darla: You don't even know what the question is.

Cordelia Chase: [to Wesley] Angel's back! And he has Darla with him!
[to Darla]
Cordelia Chase: Hi. You're, uh, planning on sleeping over?
Darla: I'm dying.
Cordelia Chase: So, just for the one night, then?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Dying?
Darla: He doesn't believe it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, what's going on?
Angel: Wolfram and Hart should her some medical files, supposedly proving she's only got a few months left to live.
Cordelia Chase: So maybe more than the one night?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Wolfram & Hart] It's true. They can't really be trusted.
Darla: I don't trust them. But I know a thing or two about mind games.
[to Angel]
Darla: So do you. We've played them together for over a century.
Cordelia Chase: Yes, but you were just soulless, blood-sucking demons. They're lawyers.
Angel: [to Darla] She's right. We were amateurs.

Angel: Well, he said I had to take the plunge.
Darla: Into an empty pool?
Angel: Sure. 'Cause if you had water, you get all wet and miss out on all that skull-crushing.
Darla: Maybe he meant another pool.
Angel: Something in a koi pond. They're very zen.

Angel: How could The Powers allow you to be brought back, dangle a second chance and take it away like this?
Darla: Maybe this is my second chance.
Angel: To die?
Darla: Yes. To die. The way I was supposed to die in the first place.

Cordelia Chase: You lied to us.
Angel: I did, I know.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: I figured you'd nag.

Angel: [as Angelus] This is outrageous. Don't these people know who we are?
Darla: I think they do, which would explain the lynch mob.

Angel: This man Holtz, how does he keep finding us?
Darla: Well, we stay in the best hotels... , order room service, eat the waiters. People talk.

Angel: That's not the point.
Darla: What is the point, Angelus?
Angel: The point is, you were undead for four hundred years. You've only been human again for a few months. Why not give it some time?
Darla: I don't have time.
Angel: Yes, you do. You were given a second chance. Don't throw that away before you get the opportunity...
Darla: I'm dying.
Angel: What?
Darla: Yeah. And not sometime, not later. Now. Right now. They showed me my medical files. All the tests say the same thing. I've got about two months left, three at the most. So if you'll excuse me, I'm in sort of a hurry.

Angel: I may not be able to come in, Lindsey, but...
Lindsey McDonald: Wipe your feet.
Angel: What?
Lindsey McDonald: Wipe your feet. You can come in. Jeez, I invited you in already.

Lindsey McDonald: Does it really look like you need to throttle me for information?
Angel: Need to?
Lindsey McDonald: Yes, she's dying. Yes, those medical reports you saw are real. You want a second opinion? Here. How about a third, hmm? How about a tenth? I used every connection Wolfram and Hart had. That's my own personal Doctor. They all say the same thing: "Syphilitic heart condition. Terminal". Looks like Darla was a working girl in the New World. Syphilis was what she was dying from when she was human. Now, she's human again. Kinda picking up where she left off. Today, something like that can be cleared up with a few anti-biotics, if you catch it in time. We're about a month and what... four hundred years too late?

Lorne: [Darla is singing] Ew.
Angel: Hey, what is that? What does that mean, ew?
Lorne: It means, ew. Ground control to Major Tom, we may not be able to save this bird.
Angel: I'm gonna save her and you're going to help me.
Lorne: I sense pain and anger. You still testy from the last time?
Angel: I don't know, when you sent me to that Swami who was dead and his imposter tried to kill me? Why would I be testy about that?

Angel: [about to jump into an empty pool] I'm either coming back with a cure, or you're gonna see something kinda funny.

Shempire: My apologies for any discomfort this may be causing. I really can't imagine the pain.
Angel: [facing a wall of stakes] How about we switch places and you won't have to, huh?

[last lines]
Angel: I'm not gonna leave you. Every moment you have left, I'm gonna be by your side. You never have to be alone again.
Lindsey McDonald: How'd you think this would end?

"Angel: Guise Will Be Guise (#2.6)" (2000)
Angel: [voice breaks up] I guess I'm a little, um... rocky.
Lorne: You're Rocky. And Rocky 2, and half of the one with Mr. T. Tell me about it.

Charles Gunn: It's cool. He's got a plan.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A plan?
Angel: Yeah. I get to the offices before they stop me.
Charles Gunn: See? What? That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?

Angel: We're going. I don't have to sing.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, thank God! I-I mean, for your sake. Because I know you don't like to do that.

T'ish Magev: Vampire living in a city known for its sun, driving a convertible. Why do you hate yourself?
Angel: I don't. I got a deal.
T'ish Magev: You got a deal? Why not a personalized license plate that says, "irony"?
Angel: Top goes up.

T'ish Magev: You're deeply ambivalent.
Angel: Yeah, well, I am and I'm not.

T'ish Magev: Right. So here's what you do. You go out, and find yourself some small, blonde thing. You bed her, you love her, you treat her like crap, you break her heart. You and your inner demon will thank me. I promise.
Angel: Um...

T'ish Magev: [after being caught in the lip by a fishing hook by Angel] What are you doing?
Angel: [vamped out] Getting in touch with my inner demon.

Cordelia Chase: Angel! Gunn! What happened?
Angel: He got hit.
Cordelia Chase: By who? The swami? Swamis don't hit, swamis "swam".

Angel: Why is Wesley wearing my coat?

Angel: [to Wesley] That is my coat, right?

Angel: Were you in Virginia?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's beside the point.

Angel: Uh, Wesley, can I get my coat back?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to thugs] Release her or die.
Angel: Don't I say that?

Magnus Bryce: She's impure? Sh-She's not a virgin?
[to Wesley]
Magnus Bryce: You...
Charles Gunn: Whoa, that's what impure meant?
Cordelia Chase: She slept with him?
Magnus Bryce: [to Wesley, imitating Angel] You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: You slept with her?
Angel: A eunuch?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Things happen. Two young people. Danger.
Virginia Bryce: What are you talking about?
Magnus Bryce: She was a virgin before you got here.
Virginia Bryce: I was not a virgin!
Magnus Bryce: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, thank goodness.
Charles Gunn: I coulda have told you she wasn't no virgin.
Angel: Not a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: One day as Angel... One day, and he's getting some.
Magnus Bryce: What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.
Angel: I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.
Virginia Bryce: Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was sixteen? And the one at eighteen? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.

[last lines]
Cordelia Chase: [handing Angel a magazine] Look!
Angel: [reading] "Virginia Bryce, squired by Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, private detective and bodyguard to the stars..." Squired? Who says squired?
Cordelia Chase: Look at him all over her!
Angel: You know what, Cordelia, you're just jealous that he's getting some attention.
Cordelia Chase: Damn skippy! He's getting famous off this! Reflected glory? That's my thing!
Angel: Get a little perspective. "Bodyguard to the stars". Yeah right.
Angel: There's no "Wyndam-Price Agency"!

"Angel: Are You Now or Have You Ever Been (#2.2)" (2000)
Angel: Watch his tentacles!
Cordelia: Excuse me?
Wes: Tentacles.
Cordelia: Oh.

Bookstore Owner: So, you were, what, about my age when you were made?
Angel: I don't know. How old are you?
Bookstore Owner: Just north of thirty.
Angel: No!

Angel: This Thesulac demon, how do I kill it?
Bookstore Owner: You don't. You run away from it.
Angel: There's gotta be a way to kill it.
Bookstore Owner: Well, first you gotta make it fat - corporeal - but that only happens after it's had a nice big feed. Or if you raise it, but that's tricky and dangerous.
Angel: How?
Bookstore Owner: Well, the incantation's there in the book, but you're gonna need an orb of Ramjarin. Now I got one I can let you have for cheap.
Angel: For free.
Bookstore Owner: For free. Uh, you'll also need, uh, sacred herbs, divining powder and something really big to hit it with.
Angel: And that'll kill it?
Bookstore Owner: Well, it might. Wouldn't hurt to have a lightning strike, you know, finger of heaven kind of thing. But, short of that, I'd go with somethin' big and heavy.
Angel: Pack it up.
Bookstore Owner: A vampire wanting to slay a demon in order to help some grubby humans? I just don't get it.
Angel: To be honest, I'm not sure I do, either.

Thesulac Demon: Well, I don't know about you, but I'm stuffed! God I love people! Don't you? They feed me the worst and I kinda serve it right back to them, and the fear and prejudice turns to certainty and hate, and I take another bite and mmm-mmm-mmm! What a beautiful, beautiful dance! Oh, you got your feelings hurt, didn't ya? See now what happens when you stick your neck out for 'em? They throw a rope around it! And you thought you'd made a friend.
[Angel begins to walk away]
Thesulac Demon: News flash! You had! That's what made her the yummiest morsel of all. You reached her, buddy! Restored her faith in people. Without you she would've been just another appetizer. But you plumped her up good! Now, she's a meal that's gonna last me a lifetime! Hey, you know what? There's an entire hotel here just full of tortured souls who could really use your help. What do you say?
Angel: Take 'em all.

Angel: Judy.
Old Judy: I don't hear them anymore. Are they gone?
Angel: Yeah.
Old Judy: It's you.
Angel: Yeah, Judy, it's me.
Old Judy: You look the same.
Angel: I'm not.
Old Judy: They killed you, because of *me*. I killed you.
Angel: No. No. No.
Old Judy: He kept them from the door. He told me I'd be safe. Am I safe?
Angel: You're safe.
Old Judy: Can I go out now?
Angel: Yeah. You can go out. Let me help you.
Old Judy: I just - I need to take a little rest first. Just a little rest.
Angel: Easy.
[helps her to the bed]
Old Judy: I'm so sorry I killed you. Can you forgive me?
Angel: Of course.
Old Judy: I'm just going to rest, just for a minute. And then, I'm going to go out.
[closes her eyes and dies]

Cordelia: [Angel doesn't like his glass of blood] Something the matter?
Angel: I, um, I-I think it's gone bad. It's starting to coagulate.
Cordelia: Huh? No. That's cinnamon. What? I can't try something?

Judy: Uhm - uhm - my-my boyfriend, he's kind of the jealous type...
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't go wandering into other men's rooms.

Angel: [to Judy] You're gonna miss the end of the world.

Angel: Why'd they fire you?
Judy: Because I'm not what I say I am. I've been passing since I was fifteen years old.
Angel: Passing?
Judy: For white. My mother was colored, my father - I didn't even know him. My blood isn't pure. It's tainted.
Angel: It's just blood, Judy. It-it's all just blood.
Judy: Nobody believes that! Not even my mother's family. I'm not one thing or the other. I am nothing.
Angel: I know what that's like.
Judy: Yes. Yes, I am. I am something. I'm a thief! I've never stolen anything before in my life, I swear it. It's just, God, the things that they called me.
Angel: Fear makes people do stupid things.
Judy: It was stupid. And I wish I'd never done it.
Angel: I didn't mean you. I meant your former employers. They were afraid. That's why they fired you.

Angel: Guys, don't listen to it, alright? Whatever it's whispering to you, just ignore it.
Cordelia: [about Wesley and Gunn arguing] They were like this all the way over here in the car.
Angel: Oh.

Cordelia: [about the hotel] Seventy years of violence, mayhem and paranoia - Bad vibes.
Angel: We're movin' in.
Cordelia: I mean, a few throw pillows, what's not to love?

[last lines]
Wes: Angel, you don't find me especially paranoid, do you?
Angel: Not especially.
Wes: Oh, thank God. I was worried.

Angel: You got a reputation, that's why I'm here. Now, it's been a long time since I've opened a vein, but I'll do it you pull any more of that Van Helsing Jr. crap with me. Are we clear? I want the books in the back!

[first lines]
Wes: The Hyperion Hotel. It appears to be abandoned.
Angel: Sixty eight rooms, sixty eight vacancies.
Wes: In California Spanish, deco influence. I'd say built in the late nineteen twenties.
Angel: That'd be my guess.

Angel: You Denver?
Bookstore Owner: No other cat but me.

"Angel: The Shroud of Rahmon (#2.8)" (2000)
Angel: [as Jay-Don] I hate waiting. You got anybody to eat around here?

Lester: Not that I'm prejudiced - I just hate vampires.
Angel: You're enlightened. I can tell.

Charles Gunn: And what am I supposed to do? Sit home and knit?
Angel: I could use a sweater... something dark.

Angel: Cordelia, what happened?
Cordelia Chase: It's not blood, it's cocktail sauce. Courtesy of Mr. Star-Schmoozer here.
Angel: I mean to your head. Your hair. Well, it looks great. When did this happen?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ten days ago. Pay attention.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I even spilled it on her in front of Mr. Fat Chow... Chow.
Cordelia Chase: Chow Yun-Fat!
Angel: What? You met Chow Yun-Fat?

Menlo: Oh, he's funny. You're funny. You'll be even funnier when I crush your head.
Angel: Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?

Angel: [indicating Gunn] This guy here is a trouble maker. Alright, I know a Majnu demon, professional driver, who never opens up his mouth.
Charles Gunn: Yeah, and I know a vampire that better shut his.

Charles Gunn: Don't hit me again.
Angel: I was trying to protect you.
Charles Gunn: I appreciate that.
[punches Angel]
Charles Gunn: Don't do it again.

Menlo: Humans always got to feel something about everything. They always got to tell ya, "I'm so happy. I'm so sad. I'm so scared". It makes me sick.
Angel: I like it when they're scared. It makes 'em taste, kind of ya know, salty.
Menlo: Did I ask for your opinion, you overgrown leech?
Angel: Jeez! Altoids, aisle four!

Angel: [to Gunn] You know, I'm getting pretty sick of this vampires-killed-my-sister-so-now-I'm-all-entitled song. Don't you know anything else? Like say, ah, MacArthur Park?
Charles Gunn: Get your hands off my throat.
Angel: Ah, ah, ah... you gonna play nice?
Charles Gunn: I'm cool.

Angel: [to Kate] Wow, Look at you, rushing in here all by yourself. You're the best cop ever.

Angel: Oh, Kate, what are you so afraid of?
[vamps out]
Angel: Is it this? Is it the part where I kill you? 'Cause I gotta tell you, I love that in a woman.

Angel: [to Kate] Stay down or they'll kill you.

Angel: Listen, Kate, there are forces at work here that you know nothing about.
Detective Kate Lockley: Gathering storm is it?
Angel: Which you don't wanna get caught in.
Detective Kate Lockley: You afraid I'll get hurt?
Angel: No. I'm afraid you'd get killed. I'm just telling you this so you won't.
Detective Kate Lockley: Me dead. I guess I'd kind of be like you then, wouldn't I? You think I'm gonna stand by while you and your playmate finish the game?
Angel: Let's try this one more time. You get stuck between me and Darla, it'll be the last thing you ever do.
Detective Kate Lockley: Let go of me.

Angel: [thinking Kate is Darla] Darla?
Detective Kate Lockley: You expecting her? Because that would really cut down on my leg work.

"Angel: Belonging (#2.19)" (2001)
Angel: I'm not cheap, I-I'm just old. I re - I remember when a few bob got you a good meal, a bottle and a tavern wench.

Charles Gunn: What do you see?
Cordelia Chase: Moo...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Moo? Some sort of cow monster?
Cordelia Chase: Move! I think the sashimi's coming up.
[throws up]
Angel: They'll take that off the bill, right?

Angel: He's also got her wearing this flimsy swimsuit that covers, like... nothing.
[long pause]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Appalling.
Charles Gunn: Disgusting.
Angel: Right.

Angel: I mean, walking I get, but Power Walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.
Cordelia Chase: [gasps] A power walker did that?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Apparently she felt I disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it.
Cordelia Chase: This town sucks.

Lorne: Call me crazy, but I'm getting the weirdest sense of déjà vu, here. How come every time you and me hit the big city, we end up in a library? Snoresville. Next time why don't we do something fun?
Angel: Like what?
Lorne: Elton's in town next month. What do you say? You, me, back row seats?
Angel: I don't do big and crowded.
Lorne: Mr. Elton John hits the first few keys of "Yellow Brick Road", I defy you not to feel like the only other person in the room.

Angel: [to Wesley] What do we do Wesley?

Cordelia Chase: [on the beach set for the commercial] What are you doing here?
Angel: Getting a tan... Not bursting into flames.
Cordelia Chase: So... What are you doing here?

Angel: [to Cordelia] Do you want me to rip that guy's head off for you? Because you know, I can. Really. I can just actually rip his head right off his body. I can do that.

Lorne: [to Landok] Landok, is that you?
Angel: [to Lorne] You know him?
Lorne: Yeah. But just because I know his name, it doesn't mean you can't knock him unconcious. Please continue.
Landok: Can it really be you? Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan.
Lorne: It's clearly rabid. Do your thing, Angel.
Angel: Krevlornswath?
Cordelia Chase: Of the Deathwok Clan?
Lorne: I prefer Lorne.
Angel: Lorne?
Lorne: Yes. Lorne, if you must. Though I generally don't go by that because... green.
Cordelia Chase: Huh?
Angel: Right! Lorne Greene!
[Cordelia and Wesley look puzzled]
Angel: "Bonanza"!
[Cordelia and Wesley still look puzzled]
Angel: Fifteen years on the air not mean anything to anyone here?
[Cordelia and Wesley continue to look puzzled]
Angel: Okay, now I feel old.

Lorne: Angel, Cordelia, Wesley... Everybody, this is Landok.
Landok: Landokmar of the Deathwok Clan.
Cordelia Chase: There's that Deathwok Clan thing again. Does that mean that the two of you are...?
Lorne: [cuts off Cordelia] Cousins.
Angel: Your cousin?

Angel: [to the Drokken] Hey, you want food. I can be food. Pretty tasty here.

Cordelia Chase: I think I understand.
Angel: Understand what?
Cordelia Chase: The vision. This book. I think it's how we send him back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you mean?
Cordelia Chase: If he reads from the book where we know the portal exists, I think it'll send him back. My vision was telling me that that's what happened to that girl Fred. The portal works both ways.

[last lines]
Lorne: What say we all forget this ever happened?
Angel: I'm down with that. Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fine with me. Cordy? Cordy?
Angel: Cordy!
Cordelia Chase: [cut to Cordelia, who is realizing she's not in the Karaoke Bar anymore] Oh, crap!

"Angel: There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb (#2.22)" (2001)
Lorne the Host: You know, I feel a song comin' on.
Angel: Yeah, I thought you might.
Lorne the Host: [singing] Somewhere over the rainbow / Way up high...

[being shown Lorne's severed head]
Angel: He was...
Charles Gunn: Yeah.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Mmm.
Lorne the Host: That's it?
Angel, Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Aah!
Lorne the Host: Where's the praising and extolling of my virtues? Where's the love?

Host's Elder: [to Lorne] May you rot in Tarkna!
[slams door]
Angel: Every family's got its problems.
Host's Elder: [distraught] Numfar, do the Dance of Shame!
Angel: Yours more than most.

[last lines]
Angel: Can I say it? I wanna say it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Say what?
Angel: There's no place like...
[Angel opens the doors to the hotel and see a grieving Willow sitting on the couch]
Angel: - Willow?
Cordelia Chase: What's...?
Angel: It's Buffy.

Angel: Do I snore?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Um, I don't remember any snoring.
Angel: Good.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I remember caterwauling.
Angel: Sorry.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I don't mind. Sometimes it just burbles up inside you, and you have to bellow a little. Do it all the time. No one's around to hear.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I've been trying to make an enchilada out of tree bark.
Angel: Bark enchiladas. How's that goin'?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: There's work to be done.

Charles Gunn: He's Angel. He does that. How's she do that?
Angel: She's Fred. She does that too.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fred? Winifred? The girl from Cordy's vision?

Angel: Look, when I fired you guys the reason I... Darkness was coming out in me. I didn't want you near it. The thing that comes out here is ten times worse. Wes - I do this - you know I won't come back from it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, you will. I know you.
[Glances over at Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We know you. We know you're a man with a demon inside - not the other way around. We know you have the strength to do what needs to be done, and you will come back to us.

Angel: I challenge The Groosalugg to mortal combat. Come out and face me, you spineless coward!
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Ooo, why did you add that coward thing? That's really gonna piss him off.

Cordelia Chase: [to Groosalugg and Angel] Stop the fight. Don't hurt him! Stop! I love him! I love him!
Angel: You love me?
Cordelia Chase: Not you, dumb-ass! Him! I love him!
Angel: Oh.

Host's Elder: I thought that you were lost to us forever. But you came back. You came back. The runt of my loins came back after raining such misery on our lives and managed to shame us even further!
[spits at Lorne]
Angel: Alright then, we'll just be...
Host's Elder: Who is supposed to do our labor now that your cow friend has freed the slaves? Do you know what they call me at the Hall Of Drinks And Chance? Mother of the Vile Excrement!
Angel: Be sure to keep in touch.
Host's Elder: Go on, misfit! Go back to your world where no one knows his place!

Lorne the Host: My psychic friend told me I had to come back here. I didn't believe her. Then I realized I did have to come back here, because... - I really always thought I had to come back here, deep down inside, you know? I had to come back here to find out I didn't have to come back here. I don't belong here. I hate it here. You know where I belong? L.A. You know why? Nobody belongs there. It's the perfect place for guys like us.
Angel: That's kinda beautiful.
Lorne the Host: Ain't it? I'm very moved, if I do say so myself.
Angel: Please do.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [to Angel] I love tacos. Do they still have them, you know, back...
Angel: Home?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: hmmm
Angel: Yes, they didn't outlaw tacos!

"Angel: Just Rewards (#5.2)" (2003)
[to Hainsley's butler]
Angel: We're - I'm from Wolfram and Hart.
Spike: I'm his date.

[after Angel kills Hainsley by throwing a silver dish plate at him, Spike's ghostly head sticks out]
Spike: Oh, bollocks.
[Hainsley's body falls to the floor]
Spike: I was just getting warmed up.
Angel: That was you hitting me?
Spike: The last bit, yeah. Hainsley's been dead since he hit the table. Oh, come on. Had to get a few licks in, didn't I?

Spike: And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I've got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by...
Fred: Excuse me?
Wes: Did - Did you just say - Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club. Another vampire with a soul in the world.
Angel: You're not *in* the world, Casper.

Angel: [concerning Spike's soul] Fair? You asked for a soul. I didn't. It almost killed me. I spend a hundred years tryin' to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent three weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine. What's fair about that?

[Spike materializes in Angel's office at Wolfram & Hart, and bends over in pain, then realizes he's facing some familiar faces and some strangers]
Spike: What? What?
Harmony: What the hell are you doing here, Spike?
Wesley: Harmony, please.
Gunn: This is Spike? *The* Spike?
Fred: Wait a minute. Who's...
Lorne: [calmly, to Spike] Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you.
Gunn: Speak for yourself, Green Jeans.
Fred: OK, would somebody please tell me who...
Wesley: William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to...
Angel: Me. But you're dead.
Harmony: Well, yeah. Who here isn't?
[looks around]
Harmony: Besides him and him and her and...
[to Lorne]
Harmony: What are you, again?
Spike: [lunges at Angel in game-face, but goes right through him and winds up standing in Angel's desk] Bugger.

Fred: And, I'm detecting brain wave activity.
Angel: On Spike? Huh. That *is* weird.

Angel: I'm in a meeting, Spike.
Spike: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't care.

Angel: And let's be discreet about this for the time being, okay?
Harmony: Discreet? Oh, you mean like not tell anyone about bucket o' lawyer.

Gunn: I fired 40 employees in the past two days.
Angel: How's that going?
Gunn: As expected. Anger, tears, venomous death threats.

Angel: I'm meeting with Grox'lars? They eat babies!
Harmony: [cheerily] Just their heads.

Spike: I bet you're loving this.
Angel: Knowing you'll be haunting me 'til the end of time? It's a dream come true.

Angel: Sure you wanna do this, Spike?
Spike: What, think I could really stand hanging out with you and your lot now and forever? Wisecracking ghost sidekick? No bloody thanks!

Magnus Hainsley: You think you can get away with that? I'll sue you to hell!
Angel: Good luck, we're your lawyers!

"Angel: That Old Gang of Mine (#3.3)" (2001)
Angel: I don't know. Stopped by this morning. Thought I'd give "sincere" one more shot. Even brought donuts. But, this is what I found. So far, we've ruled out suicide.

Angel: What's this?
Cordelia Chase: "Enemies Of Merl" list.
Angel: Hey! Why is my name at the top of this list?
Cordelia Chase: Uh, "A"?
Angel: Merl and I were not enemies.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, okay, my mistake.
Angel: I'm the one that found the body, remember?
Cordelia Chase: Oh, and that's not suspicious. The one time you pay Merl a social visit, and he ends up dead?

[first lines]
Angel: [apologizing to Merl] That night still haunts me. I'm ashamed how I treated you. The way I used you. I took what I needed, then I cast you aside and that... That was wrong of me. It was very wrong.
Merl: He's reading!
Angel: I made some notes.
Merl: I don't feel the sincerity here.
Angel: I told you it was a waste of time.
Merl: Real friends don't need notes.
Angel: We're not friends, Merl. We barely even know each other.
Merl: Not like you made the effort either, is it?

Angel: What do you want from me?
Merl: What do I want? I'll tell you what I want - I want back the three months I spent in therapy after being hung upside down in a sewer - that's what I want.

Angel: [to Cordelia and Wesley] You might want to ask yourself this: If I had killed Merl, would I have brought doughnuts?

Angel: What's this one?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Samuel Larch, a bookie. Merl owed him quite a lot of money.
Angel: Demon or human?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not sure.
Angel: Care to find out?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Demon, then.

Angel: Look, I want you to go to this address.
Cordelia Chase: What is it?
Angel: Transuding Furies.
Cordelia Chase: Gesundheit.

Cordelia Chase: [about Fred] Angel - I told her she was safe with me.
Angel: I know.

Angel: [about the Furies] Tell them to lift the spell, and I'll be able to fight back.
Cordelia Chase: Yes! They'll lift the spell and then you can fight... all twenty of them and still get killed. Great idea.

Angel: [to Gunn] Nice shot. Am I next?

[last lines]
Charles Gunn: No matter what else, I think I proved that you can trust me when I could have killed you and I didn't.
Angel: No - you'll prove I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me - and you do.

Angel: [about Fred] She's been back in this world for three months, and she still hasn't gone out into it.
Cordelia Chase: Right. And it's not like the last time she was out in the world, she got sucked into an inter-demensional portal and ended up living like a hunted-animal in a hostile, demon, alterna-world, or anything? Oh, wait. Kind of is, isn't it?

Angel: [to the Furies] Thank you, ladies, I owe you one.

"Angel: You're Welcome (#5.12)" (2004)
Angel: [slams Spike against the wall] I see fangs, I'm gonna play dentist!

Angel: All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned just don't matter. Doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. 'Cause you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.

Cordelia: I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
Angel: I am lost without you.
Cordelia: You just forgot who you are.
Angel: Remind me.

Cordelia: You'll win this in the end. I, uh... just wish I could be there to see it.
Angel: What do you mean? You're not...
Cordelia: I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say good-bye to the gang for me, explain everything once you understand.
Angel: That's gonna be never. I-I need you here.
Cordelia: Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.

Angel: Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.
Harmony: Really? Thanks.

Cordelia: Okay, this is getting us nowhere. Angel, torture her.
Angel: What?
Eve: What?
Cordelia: You heard me. Building's clearing out means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
Angel: I can't just... torture her.
Cordelia: Like, wha...
Fred: He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level, then...
[Harmony grabs Eve throws her on the desk]
Angel: Harmony!
Harmony: Is this okay? I mean. I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Angel: Yeah. Okay.

Cordelia: Oh, and you're welcome.
Angel: [answers phone] Hello? Yes, I know. She's - But that's impossible. She's standin' right...
[Cordelia is gone]
Angel: I'm sorry. Yeah. Um, when did she die? Did she, um... She never did wake up? I see.
[hangs up]
Angel: Thank you.

Angel: Can we have a word with you, Eve?
Eve: Now's really not a good ti...
Cordelia: Let's go, Lilah Junior.

Angel: But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Eve: Doesn't ring a bell.
Cordelia: It does to me. It rings a big, frickin' gong. And I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name!

Angel: Fail-safe's meant for me. I'm not gonna risk anybody I care about.
Spike: I'll go.
Angel: Okay.

Lindsey McDonald: A little something I picked up in Nepal. You like it?
Angel: They sell that crap at the airport.

Angel: He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client. Oh, and he's evil. What are the odds?

Lindsey McDonald: Redemption? Isn't that your whole deal?
Angel: People don't change.
[they start to fight; in a moment Lindsey throws Angel across the room. Angel looks back at him in amazement]
Lindsey McDonald: I did.

"Angel: The Girl in Question (#5.20)" (2004)
[Spike pulls up to Angel on a scooter]
Spike: Hop on, little mama.
Angel: I'm not riding on the back.

Ilona Costa Bianchi: Now, what happened to the drop? No grazie, prego, kiss kiss?
Angel: Grazie. Prego. Kaboom.

Angel: 'Course he is. He's screwin' us. He's screwed us before, and he's screwin' us now.
Spike: Yeah. Every time we hear his bleedin' name, we end up standin' in the strada holdin' the bag.

Angel: But she's not finished baking yet! I gotta wait 'til she's done baking. You know, 'til she finds herself. 'Cause that's the drill. Fine. I'm waitin' patiently, and meanwhile,
Angel: The Immortal's eatin' cookie dough!
Andrew: Uh, Spike, is Angel crying?
Spike: No.
Spike: Not yet.

Angel: Ours is a forever love.
Spike: I had a relationship with her, too.
Angel: Okay, sleeping together is not a relationship.
Spike: It is if you do it enough times.

Spike: The Immortal?
Angel: I mean, come on!
Spike: [about Buffy] She's smarter than that.
Angel: She'd never fall for a centuries-old guy with a dark past who may or may not be evil.

Spike: All right, what is it this time? Uber-vamps? Demon gods? Devil robots?
Angel: It's Buffy.

[a scantily-clad Drusilla enters wearing a skimpy robe]
Drusilla: Time for another pony ride?
Spike: Son of a bitch!
Angel: The both of ya?
Darla: He's insatiable.
Spike: Drusilla, y-you let him touch you?
Drusilla: He felt like sunshine.
Spike: Uh, no. No.
Angel: That's why he had us tossed. So he could violate...
Darla: He didn't...
Angel: Violate our women!
Spike: Violate in succession!
Darla: Concurrently.
Angel: Concurrently? You never let us do that.
Darla: Come on, Dru. Let's have a bath so the boys can weep in private.
Drusilla: Will you hold me under the water?
Darla: If you wish.

Angelus: Go ahead, take your best shot. I'll snatch your little wee sticks outta the air and spend the next fortnight shovin' 'em slowly up your arse.
[they run away]
Spike: Can you really do that?
Angelus: The arrow thing? I don't know. Never tried.

Ilona Costa Bianchi: And you, what an honor. The great Angelus.
Angel: Actually, it's just Angel.
Ilona Costa Bianchi: Ah, yes, of course. The Gypsies, they gave you your soul. The Gypsies are filthy people.
Ilona Costa Bianchi: And we shall speak of them no more.

Spike: You have no idea what I had to go through to get this jacket.
Angel: You stripped it off the body of a dead slayer.
Spike: Which gives it great sentimental value.

Angel: I helped save the world, you know.
Spike: Like I haven't.
Angel: Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.
Spike: Oh, please.
Angel: I closed the Hellmouth.
Spike: I've done that.
Angel: Yeah, you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill the Mayor, and, uh, Jasmine...
Spike: Do those really count as saving the world?
Angel: I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.
Spike: Buffy ran you through with a sword.
Angel: Yeah, but I made her do it. I signaled her with my eyes.
Spike: She killed you. I helped her. That one counts as mine.

[last lines]
Spike: [about Buffy] Can't we just... lock her away in a box where no one can ever touch her? You know? Like we did with Pavayne?
Angel: I don't think she'd let us. She's pretty strong.
Spike: We could do a spell. Some sort of mind control.
Angel: Oh, she'd figure it out. You know, she's pretty smart.
Spike: So, what? We just have to live with it? Get on with our lives?
Angel: 'Fraid so.
Spike: Fine. No problem. I was planning on doing that anyway.
Angel: Yeah, me, too.
Spike: Actually, I'm doing it right now. As we speak, I'm movin' on.
Spike: Movin' on.
Spike: Oh, yeah.
Angel: Right now. Movin'.
Spike: Movin'.

"Angel: Happy Anniversary (#2.13)" (2001)
Angel: [trying to comfort Gene] Well, you know, love... it's a fire.
Gene Rainey: You've been there.
Angel: It burns you... alive. Down to the bone and then it turns the bone to ash, and...
Lorne: I-I think what my chipper friend is trying to say here Gene, is the wheel keeps turning. You-you can't stop it, sometimes things get worse, sometimes they get better.
Gene Rainey: I want the wheel to stop. Which probably explains the whole time-in-a-box disaster. I can't emphasize enough how sorry I am about that.
Lorne: [about living] It just don't work, Gene-y. It's like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time. - Actually, I can hold a note forever. - But eventually, that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after and the one after that. That's what makes it music.
Gene Rainey: I guess.
Gene Rainey: You guys like beer?
Angel: Beer sounds great.

Angel: Is there a reason you're here?
Lorne: There is. What's today, Thursday? Tomorrow night, the world's gonna end. -- Thought you might want to know.

Lorne: But, when he started singing..., Man, he knocked me out!
Angel: He was good?
Lorne: No, Angel face, he knocked me *out*! When I came to, he was gone.

Angel: Why'd you come to me?
Lorne: Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or dead. Why? You don't want to work with me? Is this 'cause I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little...
Angel: Pointless and deadly?
Lorne: As for example.

Angel: Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says, or he might... talk your ears off.

Angel: Two hundred highly intelligent law school graduates workin' full-time drivin' me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But, no. It's, "Angel, why are you so cranky? Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid."
Lorne: Oo, not this season, honey.

Angel: I have an idea. Can you just get to the point, already?
Lorne: Yes, I can, if you'll let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. "Get-To-The-Pointy-Pants".

Angel: [to Lorne]
Angel: Seventeen Karaoke bars. You know I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head.

Angel: Where did you learn how to drive?
Lorne: Just now in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?
Angel: What? You nearly got us killed four times.
Lorne: Someone had to drive. You weren't exactly qualified, huddled under a blanket in back, hiding from the sun.

Lorne: This whole sour pussy mode of yours is starting to grate. You know what your problem is? Are you listening?
Angel: Do I have a choice?
Lorne: Your heart isn't in it anymore.
Angel: I don't have a pulse, so technically, I don't have a heart.
Lorne: Technically, someone puts a stake through it, you don't have anything anymore. So, Bubba, your heart counts.
Angel: I have no idea what youre babbling about.
Lorne: Yes, you do.

Lorne: Tell the truth. If the world were to end tonight, would it really, in your heart of hearts, be such a terrible thing?
[Angel doesn't answer]
Lorne: Now, now, sweetie, is that a fun place to be?
Angel: I think you should shut up now.
Lorne: I'm the Host. Have you met me? I never shut up. You pushed your friends away. You went from helping the helpless to hunting down the guilty. Blood vengeance is a luxury of the lesser being. You're a champion, Angel. I mean, you were, at least.
Angel: What do you want me to tell you?
Lorne: Everything. What's in your heart. Why you stopped caring. You know, the whole bowl of wax, so I can help you get back on your path. No need to rush. We got time. You know, not a lot.

Angel: Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. But they took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew - they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means that they're still human. It means they're better off being fired.
Lorne: You kind of left them in the cold.
Angel: It's a lot colder in here.
Lorne: [to Angel] It's not always gonna be this way. The song changes. Unless, of course, we don't get there on time, in which case - you'll be frozen in this crappy mood forever. I shudder to think.
Angel: We'll get there.
Lorne: Look out!

Angel: [to Lorne] You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash: I never can! Never going to be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me. It's too much!

"Angel: Orpheus (#4.15)" (2003)
Angel: I'm not perfect, Faith. Even with a soul I've done things I've wised a thousand times I could take back.
Angelus: Yeah, like those Manilow concerts. You son of a bitch.

[Faith and Angelus are watching Angel's past]
Flapper: You saved her, mister. Oh!
Angelus: I'm in hell. This is hell, and I'm in it.
Flapper: Oh, gee, big fella, how can I thank you?
Angelus: We haven't fed on a human in decades. She's beggin' for it, you moron!
Angel: Get lost.
Flapper: Beg pardon?
Angel: Take a hike, Betty. Scram!
Flapper: Well, pound snow, ya mook!
Faith: We're reliving Angel's good deeds. You *are* in hell. Wicked.

Angelus: So why do I have to go through it again?
Angel: [rises up] Maybe 'cause it's not about you, Jackass!

Angelus: [Faith and Angel are talking] Anybody notice a battle with your alter ego going on here?

Faith: 'Cause I'm dying, dumbass.
Angelus: Not soon enough.
Faith: Way I figure, I got one last job. Baby-sit the psycho 'til they shove a soul up your...
Angelus: Not gonna happen.
Faith: Then I'm... whatever. Dust in the wind. Candle in the wind. There'll be a general wind theme.

Angelus: Oh, no. I remember this. I-I remember this place. I gotta get outta here.
Faith: Why? You freakin' out?
Angelus: It's coming, again.
Faith: What's coming?
Angelus: I can't do it again. I won't.
[Angel runs in front of a speeding car]
Faith: Angel, get out of the road!
Angelus: Arrrgh! No!
Faith: [laughing] Dude! You just rescued a puppy.

[with Faith, watching Angel decide whether or not to feed on a murder victim]
Angelus: I *love* this episode!

[Faith and Willow are preparing to return to Sunnydale]
Faith: Wes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Faith.
Faith: [to Angel] See? Brits know how to say goodbye.
[turns to Wesley]
Faith: Angel wanted to hug.
Angel: [off Wesley's look] No, I didn't.

Angelus: So, who's your big hero now?
Faith: Wasn't even his fault. God, does the guy gotta pay for everything?
Angelus: Choices, little girl. The ones you make with your heart of hearts.
[Angel begins to leave the Donut shop, but stops and locks the door]
Angelus: Uh-oh. What's gonna happen?
Faith: He won't.
[Angel walks back to the dead clerk]
Angelus: I'm deep in, Faith. Soul or no soul.
[Angel vamps-out]
Faith: Angel!
[Angel bites the clerk's neck and begins to drink]
Faith: Ugh.
[Faith's neck starts to bleed]
Faith: He was gonna save him.
Angelus: Or did he *choose* to be a little slow on the draw? Whoops! Dinner by armed robbery. Look at him, Faith. You're a murderer. You know just how good that blurry line tastes. You didn't think my hell was private, did ya?
[Angel screams]

Angelus: [From off-screen] It'll all be worth it. Is that what you try to tell yourself, Faithy? Is that the nasty little lie that kept those thighs nice and warm in your prison bunk?
Faith: [Looking around] You kiss your mama with that mouth?
Angelus: [Angelus appears behind her, laying on the ground] No, but I ate her with it.
[Angelus levitates to a standing position]
Angelus: And now for a poem. "Faith goes gently into that good night." You're fading fast, baby. I can feel it.
Faith: All the same, I hear this holler in the distance. Tells me you're about to get what's coming to you.

Angel: Faith, get up! Are you listening?
Faith: Angel, I'm dying.
Angel: Yeah. It's a lot easier than redemption, huh?
Angelus: [Grabs Angel by the neck] Always so concerned with the human condition.
[Throws Angel down the alley]
Angelus: It's no big mystery, man. They suffer, they die. That's what they're there for.

Angelus: Why do you get to be Marley's Ghost?
Faith: Because I'm dying dumb-ass.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Amends (#3.10)" (1998)
Angel: Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man.
Buffy: You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster.

Giles: Hello.
Angel: Um... I'm sorry to bother you.
Giles: [begins laughing sourly] S-Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny. 'Sorry to bother me.'
Angel: I need your help.
Giles: And the funny keeps on coming.

Angel: I'm sorry.
Jenny Calendar: You're sorry. For me? Don't bother. I'm dead. I'm over it.

Angel: What do you want?
Jenny Calendar: I wanna die in bed, surrounded by fat grand-children. But guess that's off the menu.

Angel: You're not here.
Jenny Calendar: I'm always here.

Buffy: Vampires probably not that big on Christmas, now that I think about it.
Angel: Not as a rule.

Angel: I need to know why I'm here.
Giles: Here? Back on Earth?
Angel: I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture.
Giles: I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that.

Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.
Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter?
Angel: Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly. I wanna take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care.

Angel: The world wants me gone.
Buffy: What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it. I hate that it's so hard, and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did because you did it to me. Oh God, I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.

Angel: I can't come in unless you invite me.
[Giles enters holding a crossbow]
Giles: I'm aware of that.

Buffy: What about me? I love you so much, and I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't.
Buffy: I can't.
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once, let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because...
[Snow falls, blocking the sunlight]

Angel: [to a frightened Margaret] We'll be as quiet as mice.
[he's now got his vampire face on]
Angel: No matter what.

"Angel: Reprise (#2.15)" (2001)
Angel: You know... I've... Well, I really couldn't help but notice the goats. Yeah, a lot of goats. Goats, many. Those are goats, guys!

Angel: You've read them. You've seen it. You know what's coming.
Lorne: Now, Angel cakes. You wouldn't appreciate it if I were to blab your personal stuff to every Tom, Dick and vampire that walked in the door, would ya?
Angel: Is it bad?
Lorne: Oy. But I really can't divulge to you what I read in another being. But I can tell you what I overheard in the men's restroom. It's coming Friday. And it's got all their legal briefs in a twist about it.
Angel: What?
Lorne: Well, about every seventy five years, your friends over at Wolfram and Hart have this review. I think the general angst is not so much about the review, but more about the reviewer. And, let's just say it ain't Rex Reed.
Angel: What is it?
Lorne: It's evil... It's dark... It's merciless. Actually, now that I say it out loud, it sounds an awful lot like Rex, doesn't it?
Angel: Maybe you could just tell me in one word what it is.
Lorne: Not likely. But I can tell you in two. Senior partner.

Lorne: Look, all these messy rites and rituals crashing all over town? They don't mean anything. Nervous children trying to score as many brownie points as they can before Daddy gets home. I got news - Daddy? Not impressed. Anyhow, stopping those won't prevent it from passing into our world on Friday.
Angel: What is "It" and how do I stop it?
Lorne: I don't know, and you don't.
Lorne: Almost anything that can manifest, in order to move in this dimension, can be killed. Kinda the downside to being here. That, and the so-called musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Lorne: "The Band of Blacknil". Don't ask me what it means, I don't know. I shouldn't even have given you that much.
Angel: Thanks.
Lorne: Hey, "Home Office". I picked it up from half a dozen of them tonight.
Angel: What does it mean?
Lorne: Could be the source. Who knows? Now, stop pestering me. Oh, I am picking up one other thing. They'd really like to see you dead.

Cordelia Chase: I don't even know what you are anymore.
Angel: I'm a vampire. Look it up.
[he walks out]
Cordelia Chase: [about Angel] What a jerk!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia...
Cordelia Chase: I mean if it was anybody else, I would just say 'get laid, already!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia...
Cordelia Chase: [pacing] But, no, not him. One decent boff, and he switches to evil psycho-vamp. Which, in a way, would be better for everyone. Better for him, because he'd get some, and better for us, because then we could
[makes a staking motion]
Cordelia Chase: stake him afterwards.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia, ambulance.
[Wesley's wound is bleeding]
Cordelia Chase: Oh, my God.

Detective Kate Lockley: Still, it's funny how these people were threatened by an intruder at their offices. The intruder I picked up, and released on the street three hours before the complainants were found massacred.
Angel: You know who's responsible for that.
Detective Kate Lockley: Yeah. But I can't figure out why Forensics is telling me now, how it looks like the suspect or suspects didn't break in. They had to break out. The victims were locked in that wine cellar with their attackers. And I think I am done helping you now.

Angel: Tell me about the ring.
Denver: The Band of Blacknil. Simple thing. Plan. You wouldn't give it a second glance in a pawn shop. But it's the source of its power to move between the dimensions. And that's what it'll use to get here. And get back.
Angel: Get back?
Denver: Well, sure.
Angel: Well can anyone use this ring?
Denver: How do you mean?
Angel: Will it get me back to the Home Office, or wherever it came from?
Denver: It might. If you're insane. Do you realize what this Home Office probably is?
Angel: I think I have a pretty good idea.
Denver: Hell. Why the heck would you want to go to Hell? You're gonna try to go down there and destroy the whole lot of them! Aren't you?

Holland Manners: [clapping] Congratulations. Great victory.
Angel: You're...
Holland Manners: Holland Manners.
Angel: ...not alive.
Holland Manners: Oh, no. I'm quite dead. Unfortunately my contract with Wolfram and Hart extends well beyond that. Hop on in. You've certainly earned it. No, not a ghost either. It's just me. Dead me. See? Home Office, wasn't it? I should mention the trip is one way. If there are no objections, I suggest we get going. It's rather a long ride.

Holland Manners: [sarcastic] Well, isn't this exiting? Going straight to the source of Wolfram & Hart. So, what's the big plan, Angel? Destroy the Senior Partners? Smash Wolfram & Hart out of existence once and for all?
Angel: Something like that.
Holland Manners: Hmmm. So tell me, just what do you imagine that would accomplish in the end I mean?
Angel: It will be the end.
Holland Manners: Well, the end of you... certainly. But I meant in the larger sense.
Angel: In the larger sense, I really don't give a crap.
Holland Manners: Now, I know that's not true. Be honest. You've got the tiniest bit of "give a crap" left. Otherwise, you wouldn't be going on this kamikaze mission

Angel: You're not gonna win.
Holland Manners: Well... no. Of course we aren't. We have no intention of doing anything so prosaic as "winning."
[Holland laughs]
Angel: Then why?
Holland Manners: I'm sorry. Why what?
Angel: Why fight?
Holland Manners: That's really the question you should be asking yourself, isn't it? See, for us, there is no fight. Which is why winning doesn't enter into it. We go on, no matter what. You see, Angel... our firm has always been here on Earth... in one form or another. The Inquisition. The Khmer Rouge. We were there when the very first cave man clubbed his neighbor on the head with a rock for stealing his dinner. See, we're in the hearts and minds of every single living being on this planet. And that, friend, is what's making things so difficult for you. You see, the world doesn't work in spite of evil, Angel. It works with us. It works because of us.

Holland Manners: Welcome to the Home Office.
Angel: [sees the place where they were] This isn't...
Holland Manners: Oh, you know it is. You know that better than anyone. The things you've seen. The things you've... well, done. You see, if there wasn't evil in every single one of those people out there... why, they wouldn't be people. They'd all be angels. Have a nice day.

Angel: [to Darla] What do you want Darla?
[holds up the Band of Blacknil]
Angel: You want this?

[last lines]
Angel: What are you doing?
Darla: It doesn't matter. None of it matters.

"Angel: Release (#4.14)" (2003)
Cordelia Chase: Destruction sometimes is its own reward.
Angelus: Hey, man, you're preaching to the guy who ate the choir.

Angelus: But the thing is, as far as plans go, I make my own. So, you know, thanks for stoppin' by my head.

Cordelia Chase: You would dare to defy me?
Angelus: Defy who? A big, scary voice? Whoa! Hey, I got one of those, too. You wanna hear it?
[talks into his hands]
Angelus: You can kiss my vampire ass. That do anything for ya?

Angelus: Hello? Hey, I got places to go, friends to kill. Well, not actually my friends, but you get the idea.

Faith: We track him, we find him, we...
Angelus: Get your asses kicked? I don't know, wild guess.

Angelus: Half of this crap is written in some archaic, proto demon cuneiform. And, I don't wanna be rude, but I think the other half they just doodled.

Cordelia Chase: [shouting] Angelus!
Angelus: Oh, volume!
Cordelia Chase: I am not well pleased.
Angelus: And I'm not well deaf.

Cordelia Chase: Dare to seek me out again and your insolence will be punished tenfold.
Angelus: Yeah, what are you gonna do, huh? Give me a migraine?

Cordelia Chase: This isn't the way, my sweet. We should be friends, you and I.
Angelus: No, and I'll tell you why. One, because, you know, I'm evil. So the friends thing, that's out. And two, if I did have friends they sure as hell wouldn't be livin' inside my head.

Angelus: Oh. Don't tell me. The rousing stiff upper lip speech. Rah-rah. Good over evil. Do what must be done. Hang in there, Kitten, it's almost Friday. Is that what the scraggly little ponce armed you with to fight the big bad bogeyman?
Faith: Yeah. And this.
[throws a knife and stabs him]

Angelus: That hurt, baby. Kinda liked it. How 'bout you? There's my girl. Knew she was in there somewhere dying to come out and play again.
Faith: Shut up.
Angelus: I know how it feels. Forced to be someone you're not. Hurts to the bone. You try to bury the pain, but you can't get the hole deep enough, can you? No matter how much you dig, it's still there. Broken shards stabbing every time you breathe, cutting you up inside. You know, there's only one way to make the pain stop. Hurt someone else.

"Angel: A Hole in the World (#5.15)" (2004)
Spike: It's bollocks, Angel! It's your brand of bollocks from first to last.
Angel: No, you can't ever see the big picture. You can't see any picture!
Spike: I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct.
Angel: And that wins out every time with you. You know, the human race has evolved, Spike!
Spike: Oh, into a bunch of namby-pamby, self-analyzing wankers who could never hope to...
Angel: We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus, there's a thing called teamwork, not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!
Spike: You just want it to be the way you want it to be.
Angel: It's not about what I want!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?
Angel: No.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It just sounds a little serious.
Angel: It was mostly... theoretical. We...
Spike: We were just working out a - Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Do the astronauts have weapons?
Spike, Angel: No.

Angel: Look, I can't do this anymore.
Spike: Admitting defeat, are you?
Angel: You and me. This isn't working out.
Spike: Are you saying we should start annoying other people?

Angel: Her organs are cooking. In a day's time, they'll liquefy.
Spike: No. Not this girl. Not this day.

[on a private jet to England in an attempt to save Fred]
Angel: Can't lose her, Spike.
Spike: You won't.
Angel: I lost Cordy.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Handsome man saves me.
Angel: That's how it works. Let's get crackin'.
[they all leave but Wes]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Hmph. "Get crackin"? He's such an old fogy.

Angel: You wanna bet that's the entrance to the Deeper Well?
Spike: Either that or Christmasland.
[Angel looks at him confused]
Spike: Do you ever have any fun?

Spike: Strategy?
Angel: Just hold my hand.
Spike: St. Petersburg.
Angel: Thought you'd forgotten.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You don't have to say it.
Angel: I'll say it anyway: Winifred Burkle. Go.

Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I'm shocked, shocked that you'd say that! I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.

Angel: To hell with the world.

Drogyn: Your friend talks a lot.
Angel: So much that he's right sometimes.

"Angel: Spin the Bottle (#4.6)" (2002)
[due to a spell, Angel can't remember anything past the age of seventeen]
Angel: I'm supposed to be evil, but they attack me without cause. They gang up on me because I'm different. They're as bad as my father.
Connor: Fathers. Don't they suck?
Angel: Say one thing then. "Be good. Fear God. Do as you're told." And the whole while I know good and well, he's had his share of sinning.
Connor: Sounds kinda like my father.
Angel: Is he a self-righteous bastard?
Connor: You'd be amazed.

Cordelia: Maybe I was gonna tell you to back off, buddy. Maybe you were comin' on too strong. Harassing me in the workplace. Maybe I had a red-hot restraining order in my mitts. You ever think of that?
Angel: I was never - in the workplace. I - Well, there was that one time with the - with the ballet and-and the stripping and then the roundness. But that was a spell. And-and we were meeting in Malibu on the bluffs at night. That's a pretty romantic restraining order!

Angel: [as Liam] It's the devil. It's the devil!
Cordelia: My hair?

Angel: [Angel looks at a stereo. Cordelia turns it off] How did you stop the tiny men singing?

[watching Gunn and Wesley fight]
Cordelia: Are you going to stop this?
Angel: High time the English got what's coming to them. I'm rooting for the slave.

Angel: Mad. You're all mad. These clothes. Your speech. This place. What land is this?
Gunn: What land is it supposed to be?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Angel] Yes, where do you hail from, friend?
Angel: [Angerly] I'm not your friend, you English pig! We never wanted you in Ireland. We don't want you now.
Gunn: You Irish?
Cordelia: You don't sound Irish?
Angel: For most certain, I sound exactly-
[releasing he doesn't have an Irish accent, puts his hand to his throat in panic]
Angel: Something is wrong with my voice!

Cordelia: Keep explaining why we're not walking out that door?
Angel: [Darkly] Because they did something to us. They changed us.
Cordelia: You mean, this is about my hair?

Angel: [Walking toward the door] There's nothing here. This place is evil, and I think that I should leave now 'cause of evil.
Angel: [Runs after Angel] Don't be a fool!
Angel: Good luck, all.
[leaves through front door]
Gunn: [Sarcastically, to Wesley; who previously stated that all the hotel doors must be bolted shut] So, we're all locked in, huh?

Fred: [after Angel leaves the hotel] Do you think Liam's okay out there?
Gunn: If something's eating him, at least he ain't as bored as me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Joke all you like. Liam, right now, may be facing horrors he's never even imagined
[Angel runs out to the street through the garden. When he reaches the street, he stares in horror at cars zooming by on the road. Terrified by the alien sight, he runs back to the hotel]
Angel: [Running in the hotel and slamming the doors shut] Demons!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Really?
[to Gunn]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Told you.
[to Angel]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How many?
Angel: [Still terrified by the sight of cars] Hundreds. Screaming.
Fred: [Concerned] Will they try to get in?
Angel: Don't think they saw me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What type of demons, would you say?
Angel: Shiny.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The simple fact is... the fiend has been under our noses the entire time, waiting for the moment to...
[takes cross out of his breast pocket, and puts it in Gunn's face]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Strike!
[Gunn punches Wesley in the face, and Wes falls to the ground]
Angel: See?
Angel: The English is stupid.

Cordelia: [after discovering that Angel is a vampire] Is this a convenient time to point out that you left me alone with him, genius!
Angel: [trying to defend himself] Well, I-I never touched her.
Cordelia: So, clearly, deviant.

"Angel: Damage (#5.11)" (2004)
Angel: What happened?
Spike: Oh, I just thought I'd see what it was like to bounce off the pavement. Pretty much what I expected.

Spike: Come to tap dance on the patient, have we, doc? I'd give you the finger, but apparently I won't have the motor skills until the drugs wear off.
Angel: A lot of pain?
Spike: More than I'd like. But not as much as you would. Just what I deserve.
Angel: I didn't say that.
Spike: No, I did. The lass thought I killed her family. And I'm supposed to, what, complain cuz her's wasn't one of the hundreds of families I did kill? I'm not sayin' you're right, cuz, uh, I'm physically incapable of saying that. But, uh, for a demon I never did think that much about the nature of evil. No. Just threw myself in. Thought it was a party. I liked the rush, I liked the crunch. Never did look back at the victims.
Angel: I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. That was everything to me. It was art... the destruction of a human being. Jeez, I would've considered Dana a masterpiece.

[last lines]
Spike: The tingling in my forearms tells me she's too far gone to help. She's one of us now. She's a monster.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we, once upon a time.
Angel: Once upon a time.

Angel: [to Spike] Shouldn't you be out in the streets, you know, protecting the city from... people like you?

Angel: Let's go over it again, just in case you left out any details.
Spike: What he said, but with a bit more of a threat at the end.

Angel: Start crackin' the whip.
Lorne: You got it chief.
[shouting off screen]
Lorne: Danny, we're gonna need a whip!

Angel: [about Spike] Is pathological idiot an actual condition?

Harmony Kendall: Boss, we just got a tip some loony's hatched from the bin...
Angel: A who did a what?
Harmony Kendall: A girl over in the nuthouse went all Cuckoo's Nest, hacked up a couple of guards and went over the wall.

Angel: Do you think this is a joke?
Spike: Only if you are the punch line.

Angel: What are you doing here, Spike?
Spike: Didn't get the memo? Hero of the people now.
Angel: Oh. Then go and annoy them.

Dr. Rabinaw: [about Spike] May I suggest that you stop your friend? If he finds Dana, he's gonna wind up dead like the others.
Angel: Yeah, but he'll just end up coming back.

"Angel: Somnambulist (#1.11)" (2000)
Penn: We were to meet in Italy, remember?
Angel: I remember.
Penn: Well, I waited. Hell, I waited till the 19th century. What happened?
Angel: Got held up in Romania.
Penn: Romania? What's in Romania?
Angel: Gypsies.

Wes: [Wesley and Angel break into another vampires apartment] Oh, I invite you in!
Angel: Relax. That's only for humans. Breaking and entering another vampire's lair isn't a problem.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Where'd you get the police radio?
Angel: Police car.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, dear!

Cordelia: People really do change.
Angel: Yes, they do. And sometimes, they change back. If the day ever comes that I...
Cordelia: Oh, I'll kill ya dead.
Angel: Thanks.
Cordelia: What are friends for?

[Wesley and Cordelia think Angel has reverted to Angelus]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why should we believe anything you say?
[in the blink of an eye, Angel grabs Wesley and puts him in a headlock]
Angel: Because that's how fast I could take you if I wanted.

Angel: [facing off against Penn] Gimme a stake.
Cordelia: It's like nine in the morning.
[Cordelia realizes what Angel means]
Cordelia: Oh, you mean a...
[makes stabbing gesture with hand]

Penn: Well, you were right about one thing, Angelus. The last 200 years has been about me sticking it to my father. But I've come to realize something - it's you! You made me! You taught me! You approved of me in ways my mortal father never did! You are my real father, Angelus.
Angel: Fine.
[Angel lifts Penn, then slams him to the ground]
Angel: You're grounded!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: When I saw this story today it rang chillingly familiar. So I reacquainted myself with certain facts, confirming, I'm sorry to say, my grim suspicions. In the late 1700s it was Angelus' custom to 'sign' his victims by carving a Christian cross into their left cheek. He liked to let people know he'd been there.
Cordelia: Okay, you get to leave now. - You're not gonna come in here and accuse Angel like this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia...
Cordelia: No! I don't care how many files you have on all the horrible things he did back in the powdered wig days! - He is good now. And he's my friend. And nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!
Angel: [From the shadows] Cordelia.
[Wesley and Cordy turn around]
Angel: He's right.
Cordelia: [to Wesley] You'll stake him and I'll cut his head off.

Angel: [about the vampire he sired, Penn] I taught him well
Cordelia: A real psycho-wan-kenobi.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: 200 years practice. I imagine he has it down by now.
Cordelia: No lie. Gallagher's changed his act more often than this dude has in the last two centuries. Why do you think he's still doing the same old schtick?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, I mean, it's a classic, isn't it?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Every time he smashes that watermelon with a sledgehammer I just...
[Angel and Cordy stare at him]

Angel: I'm sorry for what I did to you, Penn, for what I turned you into.
Penn: First class killer? An Artist? A bold re-interpreter of the form?
Angel: Try cheesy hack. Look at you. You've been getting back at your father for over 200 years. It's pathetic and cliched. Probably got a killer shrine on your wall, huh? News clippings, magazine articles, maybe a few candles? Oh, you are so prosaic.

Cordelia: My glamorous LA life, I get to make the coffee and chain the boss to the bed. I've got to join a union.
Angel: Cordelia, I think that's tight enough.
Cordelia: [Pulls the chain one more time] And if it turns out that we're back on the liquid lunch, better safe than cocktails!

"Angel: I Fall to Pieces (#1.4)" (1999)
Angel: I'm in private security.
Melissa: Excuse me?
Angel: I-It's what I do. It's my job.
Melissa: You walk around in underground garages telling people this because...?

Cordelia: See? You can save the damsel *and* make decent money. Is this a great country, or what?
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, let's march down to the bank right now and deposit this beauty.
Angel: You guys go on. I think I'll stay here and *not* burst into flames.
Allen Francis Doyle: Oh, right, you're pretty much the night-deposit guy.

Angel: [when Doyle and Cordy suggest they all go to the bank in broad daylight] You guys go on. I think I'll stay here and not burst into flames.

Angel: I'm not comfortable askin' people for money.
Cordelia: Then get over it! I mean that in a sensitive way.

Angel: Am I intimidating? I mean, do I put people off?
Cordelia: Well, as vampires go, you're pretty cuddly. Maybe you might wanna think about mixing up the black-on-black look.

Cordelia: Maybe he has an accomplice, or he has a hidden camera. Not everything has to be creepy and supernatural, you know.
Angel: Not everything, but Doyle had a vision.
Cordelia: Which last time led to a sex-changing, body-switching, tear-out-your-innards demon, right. I guess they don't call you for their every day cases.

Cordelia: What is stalking nowadays, like, the third most popular sport among me?
Angel: Fourth, after luge.

[Talking about the doctor]
Angel: He's coming undone.
Allen Francis Doyle: I'll say.
Angel: No, I mean, he's out of control.

Angel: [Pours himself a cup of coffee, drinks and makes a face] What is this?
Cordelia: Last weeks coffee. Think of it as Espresso.
Angel: I think my esophagus is melting.

Cordelia: I don't get it. This guy has a lot to lose. What is it about Melissa that got him to go all O.J. on her?
Angel: Nothing. It's not about Melissa, it's about rage. This guy is too messed up to deal with a real woman and he can't stand that. So he creates a fantasy about a girl he barely knows. But eventually even she fails him. So he has to hurt her, because when he looks at her all he sees is how useless he is, how damaged...
Cordelia: [interrupting] Uh, what a fun date you must have been in back in your bad vamp days.

Melissa: Angel was right. You're weak!
Dr. Ronald Meltzer: I'm weak? Then how was it I killed him!
Angel: [Angel opens the door behind them] Inefficiently.
Dr. Ronald Meltzer: [Stunned] You can't be alive. You - you're not human!
Melissa: You should talk.

"Angel: Quickening (#3.8)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's right. Clearly something wants this thing to come to term. We'll wait for it to be born, then we'll chop its head off.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: W-What if it doesn't have a head?
Cordelia: We're gonna need a really big mallet.
Charles Gunn: If it skitters, we should have a net or somethin'. Maybe a flamethrower.
Angel: Flamethrower? No, there'll be no throwing of flames!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel's right. Clearly something wants this thing to come to term... We'll wait for it to be born, then we'll chop its head off.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: W-What if it doesn't have a head?
Cordelia: We're gonna need a really big mallet.
Charles Gunn: If it skitters, we should have a net or somethin'... Maybe a flamethrower.
Angel: Flamethrower? No, there'll be no throwing of flames!

Darla: [going into labor] Something's wrong. The pain...
Angel: You like pain.
Darla: This is different. I want it out! Now!

Angel: Darla, you might wanna join the fight.
Darla: Sorry, darlin'. I'm gonna have to be Switzerland and sit this one out.
[to vampires]
Darla: Now, you did say you were just gonna kill the humans, right?
Vampire Leader: Yes, just the humans. Then we will nourish you, slice you open, wear your entrails as a belt and consume your eyeballs before we worship The Miracle Child.
Vampires: The Miracle Child.
[Darla jumps off the table and goes to stand beside Angel]
Darla: Okay. I'm in.

Angel: [as Angelus] Evening to you, ma'am.
Caroline Holtz: Good evening.

Angel: [as Angelus, to Caroline] We have a message for your husband.

Angel: How you feeling?
Darla: I haven't had blood in almost a day, and your devil's spawn is trying to rip its way out of my body. How do you think I'm doing?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [completing an ultrasound on Darla] Well, then, let's take a look, shall we? You know, I haven't studied one of these in quite a while.
Angel: Isn't that a head?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I think it is. Or is that the head?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Maybe, you're both right.
[everyone glares at her]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not like I'm suggesting it's an evil two-headed thing.
Cordelia: [looking at Darla's baby on the ultrasound screen] I see it.
Darla: My little parasite.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, my...
Angel: What is it?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's human.
Charles Gunn: Human, as in humanoid? As in cannibalistic, humanoid underground dwellers?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. Human as in... a boy.
Angel: A boy?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A boy. A boy.
[to Darla]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're carrying a boy.
Darla: Great.

Angel: Anybody hurt?
Cordelia: Nothing a couple of Band-Aids and a pint of Heath Bar Crunch can't fix.

Angel: I agree, we need to get out of Dodge.

Angel: I'm gonna have a son.

"Angel: Untouched (#2.4)" (2000)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's so typical of your kind.
Cordelia Chase: Well, at least I'm not a sheep like you.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I am not a sheep!
Cordelia Chase: You are such a sheep! You've never had a single opinion that you didn't read in a book.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: At least I've opened a book.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, don't even try with the snooty, wooly boy. I was top ten percent of my class!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What class? Advanced Bosoms?
Cordelia Chase: OH!
Angel: Hey! What the hell's goin' on here?
Cordelia Chase: We were just discussing whether or not we should offer to pay Gunn.
Angel: No, you weren't.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, our discussions tend to go about three minutes, then it's strictly name calling and hair pulling.
Cordelia Chase: Ebeneezer here doesn't wanna share the wealth.

Angel: So, what have we got here?
Officer: Uh - you're not...
Angel: [to a bystander] Hey, you wanna get behind the tape? You gotta gawk, go home, watch a high speed chase on Fox.
[to the officer]
Angel: You wanna think about keepin' the tourists off my crime scene?
Officer: But I-I'm...
Angel: I'm outta vice three weeks, I've seen enough amateur night crap to fill a mini-series. So, you wanna pretend that's not a Cub Scout uniform and tell me about dead people?
Officer: Uh, well, detective, what happened is we had to scrape 'em off the wall. Guys got pinned by a two ton dumpster.
Angel: It fell on them.
Officer: Ah, no. They were actually pinned *to* the wall. Looks like somebody might have shoved the dumpster from the side.
Angel: Have to be somebody pretty strong.
Officer: Yeah. You're tellin' me. Splashed those guys all the way up here.
Angel: That's not their blood.
Officer: Excuse me?
Angel: You seen a girl tonight? Maybe a little scared, beat-up?
Officer: Uh-uh. Nobody but our Mr. Bills. You know,
[high pitched voice]
Officer: "Oh no, Mr. Bill!" Krech!
Angel: Right...

Cordelia Chase: I can't get this bandage to... Stop moving!
Angel: I'm not.
Cordelia Chase: Well, then stop breathing.
Angel: I don't breathe.
Cordelia Chase: Then stop flexing your manly boob-muscles or whatever.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That's an ugly looking wound.
Angel: It doesn't feel pretty either.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We should definitely approach this girl with caution. I guess you already figured that out.
Angel: She's very powerful. We gotta find out everything we can about her.
Cordelia Chase: Like, oh, say, her name?
Angel: I was impaled at the time.
Cordelia Chase: Of course. Perfectly understandable.
Angel: Do you know how hard it is to think straight with a re-bar through your torso?
Cordelia Chase: Actually, I do. Benefits of a Sunnydale education. No address or anything?
Angel: She said she was staying with a friend.
Cordelia Chase: Well, that narrows it down to people with friends.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: Where do we keep that list?

Bethany Chaulk: What are you?
Angel: I've come to help you. My name is Angel.
Bethany Chaulk: Ha. Ha. Great, I stabbed an angel. Now I'm really never getting into heaven.

Angel: I'm going to bed. It's been a long day.
Cordelia Chase: You've been up for three hours.

Angel: Would you like some tea?
Bethany Chaulk: Yeah, please.
Cordelia Chase: You shouldn't worry. Angel does this kind of thing all the time.
Bethany Chaulk: Makes tea?
Cordelia Chase: Helps people. You know, he helps people with problems.
Bethany Chaulk: [to Cordelia] So what's wrong with you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Where to begin?

Angel: [to Wesley] You're gone.
Cordelia Chase: You can't fire Wesley! I'll quit, too! Unless you're firm.

Angel: The time I've lived, I've seen some horrors, scary behavior, and a couple of fashion trends I constantly pray to forget. But I see people try. I see them try to be better.

Bethany Chaulk: I've done stuff. I can make you happy.
Angel: You wouldn't like me when I'm happy.

Angel: You wanna make love, but you don't wanna be touched?
Bethany Chaulk: "Make love"? What are you, from the eighteenth century? I was just- I just wanted...
Angel: What'd you want?
Bethany Chaulk: Are you shocked I'm a great big slut?
Angel: You'll find I'm not easily shocked, Bethany.
Bethany Chaulk: Everyone thinks I'm so fragile and innocent. Men love it.
Angel: Do you?
Bethany Chaulk: Do I love it? Who cares. I'm - I'm... like the chambermaid. I just leave. When a guy's on me, I... I made up the room, I showed him in and I leave till he's gone. Come back and clean up the mess.
Angel: And the men?
Bethany Chaulk: What, you think they'd notice or care I'm not there? Would you?
Angel: I don't think everyone's as bad as you'd have them be.
Bethany Chaulk: Oh, right. You love the people. Love 'em so much, you've got a hundred rooms to be all alone in. You know, I'm thinking maybe you're not exactly qualified to help me with my problem.
Angel: Maybe I'm the only one who is. Try to get some sleep.
Bethany Chaulk: Who's Darla?
Angel: Good night, Bethany.

[last lines]
Lilah Morgan: Look, Bethany. Bethany, wait! You could have been someone important!
Angel: You gotta learn to lose, sweetie.
Lilah Morgan: Did I mention you're not invited in?
Bethany Chaulk: Don't try to find me, Lilah. I mean it.
Lilah Morgan: Our-our firm doesn't want to lose a... you're not...
[points at Angel]
Lilah Morgan: He is a vampire, you know.
Bethany Chaulk: [looks like Angel] Weird.
Angel: Looks like you're gonna have to find someone else's brain to play with.
Lilah Morgan: Yeah, we have someone in mind.
Angel: Good night, Lilah.
Lilah Morgan: Sweet dreams.

"Angel: Waiting in the Wings (#3.13)" (2002)
Angel: You love her that much? Start a website.

Cordelia: [about security guard] You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.

Angel: I was thinking now. You guys should go back. I'll snoop.
Cordelia Chase: I'm with snoopy. Magic of the ballet, not really getting to me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: How will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring?

Cordelia Chase: Open the damn door.
Angel: Kinda hard.
Cordelia Chase: Kinda noticed.

Cordelia: We have to go back in.
Angel: I'm marveling at the wrongness of that idea.
Cordelia: You wanna wander around backstage like Spinal Tap for the next... ever?
Angel: I'm sure there are other rooms that...
Cordelia: All we have to do is play the scene. Get in, get out, no one gets happy.
Angel: What if there is no more talking in that scene? Look, I've been possessed by the spirits of old lovers before. It never goes well.
Cordelia: Well, I've got my little cross if things get out of hand. Hey... It's awkward, but it's not us. So long as nothing is removed or inserted, it's all forgotten.
Angel: It is us, Cordelia. It's you and me. Kissing you, it's... It's not something I can just...
Cordelia: Oh, come on. It's not *that* horrible. Up to his ass in demon gore, fine. But ask him to mack on a hottie and he wigs. My champion ladies and gentlemen.

Angel: Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw their production of Giselle in 1890. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!

Angel: Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're gonna be trippin' out.
Charles Gunn: Don't be usin' my own phrases when we've lost the trust.

Angel: You all right?
Cordelia: Yeah. We gotta move.
Angel: You think they're not dead?
Cordelia: You just looked really hot doing that.
Angel: Oh.
Cordelia: Yeah.
Angel: Run.

Lorne: Can't fight kyrumption, cinnamon buns. It's fate. It's the stars. Kyrumption is...
Angel: Stop saying that. And stop calling me pastries.

Cordelia: [snapping awake] I loved it.
Angel: It's just intermission.
Cordelia: Oh.
[Cordy wipes her mouth, and glances at Angel's jacket]
Cordelia: That isn't drool, is it?
Angel: It's okay. It matches the back.

"Angel: The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco (#5.6)" (2003)
Spike: Hey Fred, did ya hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy!
Angel: What?
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: Not number five! You didn't hurt him?
Angel: No! I - He attacked me!

Lorne: Holy tornado, it's true!
Spike: Yeah, it was amazing! Angel went right off on the mail guy.
Lorne: Oh this must've been one major smackdown!
Angel: There was no smacking!
Lorne: That's not the hubbub I'm hearing, honey buns. Word on the web has you sucker punching Grandpa Moses.
Angel: The web?
Lorne: Don't sweat it, sweetie pie. I've got my flack-catcher spinnin' this into PR gold. And once the word spreads that you beat up an innocent old man, well the truly terrible will think twice before goin' toe to toe with our Avenging Angel.
Spike: Yes. The geriatric community will be soilin' their nappies when they hear you're on the case. Bravo!

Number Five: Surely you have heard of our great victory over the devil's robot.
Angel: Sorry.
Number Five: Nobody remembers the good stuff.

Angel: Wes, did you ever hear that the devil built a robot?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [in awe] El Diablo Robotico.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why?
Angel: Nobody ever tells me anything.

Number Five: What can I say about a demon who killed the people that mattered most to me?
Angel: You can start by saying how you killed it back.

Number Five: You were going to drag me into your quest to find the Aztec warrior.
Angel: No, I wasn't! I was going to give you some mail!
Number Five: Oh - sorry.

Angel: The reason why I know this Aztec demon is not eating the hearts of heroes is... He didn't take mine. Am I honestly supposed to believe that it had no problem sticking a sword in my stomach but then decided, "Oh wait, his heart's not heroic enough?" Ha! I don't think so.
Charles Gunn: I understand you're feeling rejected. But this Aztec warrior... it wants the hearts for sustenance. It wants it for the meat, not the metaphor.
Angel: What are you saying?
Charles Gunn: As meat goes, your heart's a dried-up hunk of gnarly-ass beef jerky.
Angel: Yeah, but, stick a piece of wood in it, and I still die.

Angel: I'm just... I don't know, just feeling a bit...
Spike: Squishy?
Angel: Disconnected.
Angel, Spike: Are you serious? Here you are, finally living a piece of the high life - new clothes, new cars, my old tumble fetching you tasty snacks - and what's your gripe? "I feel disconnected." You want to feel disconnected, try being a bloody ghost for a bit. Try bobbin' around with no touch or taste or smell. Not many fates worse than that, I'd wager.
[Number 5 walks past with mail cart]
Angel, Spike: OK, maybe that.

Number Five: In case you haven't noticed, I have retired from that life.
Angel: Wearing that mask doesn't exactly hide your past.
Number Five: It reminds me that only a fool would want to be a champion.
Angel: Fool? Is that what you think of your brothers?
Number Five: [Numero Cinco backhands Angel] Never disrespect the memory of my brothers. They were honorable men... luchadores. Mexican wrestlers. The greatest that ever lived. Together we were known as Los Hermanos Numeros.
Angel: The "Number Brothers"? Huh.
[Angel picks up a black and white picture of the five brothers together, all with masks numbered 1 through 5]
Angel: Boy, you guys had no problem getting past the whole irony thing, now, did you?

Angel: So it's eating the hearts of heroes, and their blood is what keeps it alive.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: Yeah, but it does more than that. It acts like a kind of supercharged rocket fuel. Makes it, you know...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nigh invulnerable.
Spike: Oh, I could kill it. I mean, ghostiness to the contrary. Well, come on, lads. Everything has an Achilles heel.
Angel: And you just so happen to know this creature's Achilles heel?
Spike: Well, I wager it's the heart.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: [She looks at her computer screen] You see that in the science?
Spike: No, luv, in the poetry. We're dealing with a mythic creature here, a kill-or-be-killed kind of creature. If I was gonna kill something that was trying to take my heart, I'd try to bloody well take its heart first.

"Angel: Why We Fight (#5.13)" (2004)
Spike: Really oughta do somethin' about security. They'll let anybody in here, won't they? Fred gave me the Cliff Notes. So sailor boy finally came back for a yo-ho-ho, did he?
Angel: Finally came back.
Spike: Took him long enough. Know revenge is best served cold and all, but his must've been frozen solid.
Angel: I don't think that's what he was after.
Spike: No? Then what was he looking for?
Angel: A reason.

Spike: Bloody Brilliant! Turn the poor sod to save the ship and then make him dash for dry land before Mr. Sunshine scorches him a new one. You're still a dick.
Angel: Yeah, I am.
[looks up at the hatch]
Spike: Bollocks.
[climbs ladder]

Lawson: Aren't ya gonna ask me how I got in here?
Angel: No. You'd be amazed at how many people break into this building on a regular basis.

Lawson: They swore to give their lives for their country... just like me. Besides, I'm hungry.
Angel: They're still your men.
Lawson: But they're not the mission... are they?

Lawson: Then maybe I found my mission again after all these years.
Angel: Being an evil son of a bitch not keeping you busy?
Lawson: We all need a reason to live, even if we're already dead. Mom, apple pie, the stars and stripes- That was good enough for me 'till I met you. Then I had this whole creature-of-the-night thing going for me-the joy of destruction and death-and I embraced it. I did all the terrible things a monster does-murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream-and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way?

Angel: Spike.
Spike: Captain.
Angel: What?
Spike: I wanna be called Captain. I mean, hell, I did eat him.
Angel: Check the torpedoes before I stuff you in a tube and send you for a swim, "Captain".

Angel: We need them. I'm not getting trapped at the bottom of the sea!
Spike: And I'm not getting experimented on by his government!

Spike: Sneaky bastards, the SS. Don't ever go to a "free virgin blood party". Turns out, it's probably a trap.
Angel: You were captured at a "free virgin blood party"?
Spike: I know. Who'd'a thought?

Angel: You're a Nazi.
Spike: What? Oh! No, I just ate one.

Nostroyev: Angelus, you used to be quite a terror back in the day. Haven't heard much of you lately.
Angel: Haven't heard much of you, ever.
Nostroyev: Nostoyev! The scourge of Siberia! The butcher of Alexander Palace!
Angel: Sorry.
Nostroyev: I was Rasputin's lover!

"Angel: Eternity (#1.17)" (2000)
Angel: Cordelia, you're here... And you brought a cross.
Cordelia: And along with 3 double half-calf non-fat skinny lattes.
Angel: And a cross.
Cordelia: Well judging by the outfit, I guess it's safe to come in. Evil Angel never would have worn those pants.

Cordelia: Stop it.
Angel: Why?
[Cordelia gasps]
Angel: You didn't - I mean I've been to Hell but *that* was so much worse!

Angel: Tell you what, I'll torture you for two unbelievably long hours, and then you can decide if this is the lifestyle you want.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We're doomed.
Angel: Maybe we can make a break for it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Impossible.
Angel: Front exit?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We'd be spotted instantly.
Angel: Back door?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Blocked.
Angel: That's it, then. We're trapped.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We could try shouting "fire". It's not technically a *crowded* theater...
[pan out to show the pair watching Cordy's poor performance on stage]

Angel: [during Cordelia's play] And I thought I knew eternity.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, this is good news, isn't it?
Angel: Depends on what's going to bother her more: being stalked or not being stalked.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Actresses.
Angel: Tell me about it.

Rebecca Lowell: [Angel's got his head on Rebecca's shoulder] I just wanted us both to be happy.
Angel: Oh, I am happy.
Rebecca Lowell: You are?
Angel: Yes.
[Angel bites Rebecca]
Rebecca Lowell: Ow!
Angel: Perfectly happy.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You walk a fine line, Angel. I don't envy you.
Angel: Wesley, nice moves up there.

[last lines]
Angel: So we're okay then?
Cordelia: I'm too big a person to let something so petty get in the way of our friendship.
Angel: I appreciate that... You're not going to untie me, are you.
[Cordelia scoffs and leaves]
Angel: Wesley? Cordelia? Guys?

Rebecca Lowell: I know you're still here.
Angel: I'm not what you think.
Rebecca Lowell: You're not? Because... no reflection, dark, private office, instantly knowing those letters weren't written in blood, I guess what I would think is - vampire.
Angel: Then again...
Rebecca Lowell: Which is impossible. Bela Lugosi, Gary Oldman, they're vampires.
Angel: Frank Langella was the only performance I believed but...
Rebecca Lowell: This is real. You're real. Do you drink blood?
Angel: Yeah. But not people.
Rebecca Lowell: You're not a killer.
Angel: I gave that up.
Rebecca Lowell: Well, there is a support group for everything in this town, I guess.
Angel: It's a long story.

"Angel: That Vision Thing (#3.2)" (2001)
Angel: [to Lilah] Don't you come at me through Cordelia ever again. You play that card a second time, and I'll kill you.

Angel: How come he's not screamin' in pain.
Skip: Oh, he is. My will prevents him from bein' heard. I mean, there's only so many, "Oh, my God! The pain! Please make it stops..." you can listen to, before it starts to bug the crap out of you.
Angel: I see your point.

Lilah Morgan: You're a remarkable man, Angel.
Angel: Yeah. And you're an evil bitch.

Gavin Park: This is a list of fifty-seven city code violations for your hotel, including earthquake proofing, asbestos and termites. Be advised I've filed a copy of this with the city planning office.
Angel: Gee, fifty-seven. - Is that a lot?

Cordelia: [about Lorne reading Cordelia] Well, it's not like I'm morally against letting demons into my subconscious for a quick lookie-loo. Hey, it might be fun... But with the Powers That Be doing this whole Book of Job thing..., the last thing I want is more noise in my head.
Angel: Maybe he can make the noise stop.
Cordelia: Yeah?
Angel: Isn't that what you want?
Cordelia: Yes! No. Well, no. Sure I hate looking and feeling like this, but if I lose the visions, I wouldn't be able to help you anymore. You wouldn't need me.
Angel: That's not why I need you. You're important, and the visions are just after market extras like Hurst shift or Craiger wheels.
Cordelia: Did you just compare me to a car?
Angel: It was a very nice car.
Cordelia: I guess it's better than a dog.
Angel: Cordy, let us try and help. Okay?
Cordelia: Okay.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about the key] Something you probably won't like to hear is that both artifacts are considered objects of good.
Angel: Oh. So the Chinese guy and the boil guy...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Were also aligned with the forces of good.
Angel: Damn! So hard to tell these days, you know, they should wear lapel pins or something.

Skip: Hi.
Angel: Hi.
Skip: You know you're not supposed to be here, right?
Angel: Yeah. What about him?
[points to prisoner]
Skip: Oh, him? Oh, he's supposed to be here. Do you have any idea how monstrous a guy's gotta be before he gets sent to us? We're a very high-end institution.
Angel: And it's your job to keep him here?
Skip: Yeah.
[extends hand]
Skip: I'm Skip.
Angel: Angel.
Angel: So... ah... you live in here, Skip?
Skip: No, I commute. It's not too bad, though. About twenty minutes.
Angel: What keeps him in the fire?
Skip: My will.

Skip: [sniffing] You're a vampire, right? How come it smells like you work for The Powers That Be?
Angel: Because I do.
Skip: But you're here to try to rescue this guy? But, we're on the same side. Shouldn't you be helping to keep him in here?
Angel: I know, I know. Long story. Involves a girl. I don't like it any better than you do.
Skip: So, I really can't talk you out of this.
Angel: Sorry. I wish you could. I guess we'll just have to agree to...
[Skip hits Angel across the room]
Angel: ...argh disagree.

Cordelia: Angel? What you did for me was unbelievably selfless, and brave, and amazing. And, it's so great to know that the next vision I have will just be blindingly painful and not turn me back into the Elephant Man or anything.
Angel: I hear a big "but" coming.
Cordelia: What if that guy you freed is someone or something that's truly terrible? Wolfram and Hart won this time, and it's all my fault.
Angel: It's not about winning, Cordelia. It's about what's at stake. And in this particular scenario you were way more important than winning. I can't worry about that guy I set free. I did what I had to do. I'll just deal with the consequences when they happen.

Lilah Morgan: It's just business.
Angel: Right, just business.

"Angel: Billy (#3.6)" (2001)
Cordelia: [looking at a picture of Billy] You're sure this is him? This is the guy?
Angel: You pull someone from a Hell dimension, you tend to remember their face. Yeah, that's him.

Angel: Why doesn't it surprise me that I can just walk right in here without an invitation?
Billy Blim: Well, as far as I'm concerned you have a standing invitation.
Angel: You're not a right guy, Billy. You're not quite human either, are you?
Billy Blim: Not quite. More than you.
Angel: You like to hurt women, do you, Billy? That make you feel like a man?
Billy Blim: I have never hurt a woman in my life. I just like to watch.
Angel: Not anymore.
Billy Blim: Oh?
Angel: You're goin' back.
Billy Blim: Really? 'Cause I don't think so.

Dylan: No, no. There was a chick here. She's cute. Brunette. Well, she said that-that-that a melodramatic guy named Angel would eventually show up.
Angel: Cordelia... thinks I'm melodramatic?
Dylan: Well, you did say that you were going to kill my cousin.

[first lines]
Angel: Just trust me.
Cordelia: I do.
Angel: Don't stiffen up.
Cordelia: Yeah, you either.

Angel: You know, Cordelia, handling a lethal weapon is a little different than shaking a pom-pom.
Cordelia: Ready! Okay!
[goes through combination sword kata and cheerleader routine]
Angel: Easy.
[Cordelia pins him to wall, sword at his throat]
Angel: Go team!

Charles Gunn: [playing a video game] Dead! So dead! So very, very dead, just how dead are you, huh?
Angel: I'm tired of being the dead one.

Cordelia: What's this?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Everything about the crime I believe you saw in your vision. Police reports, husband's written confession, captures from the video store's surveillance cameras, and, I have to caution all of you, the medical examiners crime-scene photos. Cordelia...
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't be looking at that.
Cordelia: Tell that to The Powers. They already ran the T.H.X. version in my head, remember?

Angel: I'm looking for Billy Blim.
Dylan: You a friend of his or what?
Angel: Friend? To be honest, I'm looking to kill the bastard.
Dylan: Oh. Come on in.

Angel: That thing that Billy brought out in others? The hatred and anger... that's something I lost a long time ago.
Cordelia: Even when you were evil?
Angel: I never hated my victims, I never killed out of anger, it was always about the - pain and the pleasure.

[In the opening scene, Angel is training Cordelia how to fight]
Angel: You'll be able to keep an attacker busy until... You know.
Cordelia: What? Until he dies of old age or until you swoop in to save me? Angel, I didn't ask you to train me so I could stave. I already know how to stave. Now I need to learn how to fight.
Angel: You don't think that I would?
Cordelia: Would what?
Angel: Save you.
Cordelia: Men-folk not always around to protect the women-folk, you know? Besides, what if it turned out you were the guy I had to fight? Could happen.

"Angel: Carpe Noctem (#3.4)" (2001)
Cordelia Chase: [about Fred] She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome, and brave, and heroic, emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil and, lets face it, a eunuch.
Angel: Hey, how can you... I'm not a eunuch.
Cordelia Chase: Angel, it's just a figure of speech.
Angel: Find a better one.

Angel: [as Marcus] A talk with Fred?
Cordelia Chase: Yes! Just keep it simple. One: you're not like other men. Two: there's no room in the workplace for romance.
Angel: Romance with Fred. So I'm a...
[Looks down at his clothes]
Angel: Obviously.

[repeated line]
Angel: [as Marcus to every woman in the episode] Have I ever told you, you're a very beautiful woman?

Angel: [as Marcus] Now what did I do with the darn case file...?
Cordelia Chase: [quietly] You gave it to me yesterday.
Angel: [as Marcus] Ha, must be getting old.

Angel: [as Marcus] Hey. How're you doing?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Alright. Well... you?
Angel: [as Marcus] So, we gotta talk. The thing is, I've got nothing against you personally. It's just...
[Wes looks at him]
Angel: ...Oh, this is gonna be harder than I-I thought. I just don't know how to spit this out.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel. Whatever it is, you know I'm here for you.
[Wes goes to touch Angel's knee]
Angel: [as Marcus gets out of the chair before Wesley touches him] Yeah. That may be the problem. I mean, whatever we... had... whatever we... did. I just think that we should keep that... behind us. Start from scratch. You know, two men working side by side. But, you know, none of that funny stuff.
[Wesley looks at Angel oddly]
Angel: Shake on that?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I guess.
[Wesley takes Angel's hand, who gives it a hearty shake, then pulls Wesley into a hug.]
Angel: [as Marcus] Hey, all right. Gimme a hug.
Cordelia Chase: Wesley, food's here.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Okay.
Angel: [as Marcus] Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes?
Angel: [as Marcus] Do you know where Fred is?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Um up in her room I'd expect.
Angel: [as Marcus] Her room. Right. Somebody say something about food? I could eat a horse.

Cordelia Chase: [after watching Angel eat a burrito] Um... why are you eating?
Angel: [as Marcus] 'Cause I'm hungry.

Cordelia Chase: I'll interview the hookers. Are there any men who aren't just dogs?
Angel: [as Marcus] Not very many, I'm afraid.
[to Wesley]
Angel: You know a woman is more than a piece of meat. I'm sorry. That's just how I feel.

Angel: [as Marcus] Now, what can I do for you?
Lilah Morgan: Don't go all night stalker on me. I'm here to do you a favor.

Marcus Rosco: You! You don't deserve that body!
Angel: Funny. I was gonna say the same thing to you. I'll tell you why you have a weak heart, Marcus. You never use it.

Angel: [to Fred] You may not know this, Fred, but certain friends and coworkers have been known to accuse me of being the quiet, stay at home, sulky one.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Innocence (#2.14)" (1998)
Angelus: You can't do it. You can't kill me.
Buffy: [kicks him in the groin] Give me time.

Angelus: It was a good time. Alright? It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal.
Buffy: It *is* a big deal.
Angelus: It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before.
Buffy: Don't touch me.
Angelus: I should've known you wouldn't be able to handle it.
Buffy: Angel! I love you.
Angelus: Love you, too.
[turns away]
Angelus: I'll call you.

[Angelus has just grabbed Willow]
Xander: Don't do that!
Angelus: Oh, I think I do that!
Willow: Angel?
Jenny Calendar: He's not Angel any more. Are you?
Angelus: Wrong. I am Angel... at last!
Xander: Oh, my God.
Angelus: I got a message for Buffy.
[Buffy appears behind Angelus]
Buffy: Why don't you give it to me yourself?
Angelus: Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends.

Buffy: Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who are.
Angelus: Dream on, schoolgirl. Your boyfriend, is dead and you're all gonna join him.

[the Judge demon is urged by Spike to burn all the goodness out of Angel who's turned into Angelus]
Spike: Hurts, doesn't it?
Angelus: Well, you know, it kinda itches a little.
Spike: Don't just stand there, burn him!
[nothing happens]
Angelus: Gee, maybe he's broken.
Spike: What the hell is going on?
The Judge: [letting Angelus go] This one cannot be burned. He's clean.
Spike: Clean? You mean he's...
The Judge: There's no humanity in him.
Angelus: Couldn't have said it better myself.
Drusilla: Angel?
Angelus: Yeah, baby, I'm back.

[Spike and Drusilla do not know Angel has lost his soul]
Spike: Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?
Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
Spike: You don't give up, do you?
Angelus: As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.

[Buffy doesn't know Angel has lost his soul]
Buffy: You just left.
Angelus: Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.
Buffy: What?
Angelus: You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.
Buffy: What are you saying?
Angelus: Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened.
Buffy: I-I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?
Angelus: [sarcastically] You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro.

Spike: You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?
Angelus: She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kinda thing you just forgive.

Drusilla: You don't want to kill her, do you? You want to hurt her. Just like you hurt me.
Angelus: Nobody knows me like you do, Dru.
Spike: She'd better not get in our way.
Angelus: Don't worry about it.
Spike: I do.
Angelus: Spike, my boy, you really don't get it. Do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck. She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl... you have to love her.

Drusilla: We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?
Angelus: Yeah, destroying the world. Great. I'm really more interested in the slayer.
Spike: Well, she's in the world, so that should work out.

"Angel: Parting Gifts (#1.10)" (1999)
Cordelia: Damn! I can't believe he did this to me.
Angel: Who did what?
Cordelia: Doyle! I thought our kiss meant something. And instead, he-he used that moment to pass it on to me. Why couldn't it have been mono or herpes?

Barney: You're him, right? You're the guy. The-the-the vampire with a soul?
Angel: I'm Angel.
Barney: Yeah! You gotta help me, please. I-I-I mean, th-that-that's what you do, right? You-you-you help the helpless? You protect the - what do you call 'em - the helpless?

Barney: First off, you should know, right away, before there's any misunderstanding - I'm a demon.
Angel: I appreciate your candor.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If anything happens to Cordelia because of me...
Angel: Nothing's gonna happen to Cordelia. I won't allow it.

Barney: It's the middle of the day. Shouldn't you be in your coffin?
Angel: Coffins. I hate that stereotype.

Angel: [about Wesley's all-leather outfit] Interesting look for you. Motorcycle. The Watchers Council trying out a new image?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: In point of fact I no longer work for the Council. I came to the conclusion that I was of greater value to the cause working autonomously.
Angel: They fired you.

Cordelia: [about the demon they killed] Not that he didn't have it coming. He was a horrible, evil monster.
Angel: Hmm, he did kill a lot of people.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Viciously mutilated their corpses.
Cordelia: Plus he started the bidding on me at a paltry 2,000 dollars.

Angel: What was the vision?
Cordelia: Oh. Pfft! Who knows. It was a thing!
Angel: A thing?
Cordelia: An ugly, gray, blobby thing. What difference does it make?
Angel: The difference is if you saw it in a vision it could be an ugly, gray, blobby, dangerous thing!

Angel: [after Cordy is taken by a demon] Nothing is going to happen to Cordelia. I won't let it. - In case you're wondering, this is me looking for a clue. Feel free to join in any time you want.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Sits down dejectedly] I'm a fool. The Council was right to sack me. - Yes, I was fired. I had two, two! Slayers in my care. One turns evil and now vegetates in a coma, the other is a renegade. Fire me? I'm surprised they didn't cut my head off.
[Angel finds a crumpled drawing of Cordy's vision]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm useless. - A fool. A sniveling great, big...
Angel: [Looking at the picture, whispers] Ugly, gray blobby thing.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Continuing his rant] Ugly, gray, blobby thing. -What?
Angel: [about the drawing] I know this. It's a sculpture by Van Gieson, Maiden with Urn. Cordelia saw this in a vision. It could be telling us where Barney took her.

"Angel: Reunion (#2.10)" (2000)
Drusilla: I saw you coming, my lovely. The moon showed me. It told me to come into the twentieth century.
Angel: It's the twenty-first century, Dru.
Drusilla: Hmm, well I'm still lagging.

Angel: There out there, both of them.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: So you did find them, then. Where are they now?
Angel: I don't know.
Cordelia Chase: But you know where they're going to be?
Angel: Not exactly.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But yet you have your suspicions?
Angel: Actually, I don't.
Cordelia Chase: So, it's more like a hunch?
Angel: Wouldn't say hunch.
Cordelia Chase: Would you say inkling? Please tell me you could at least say inkling.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Right now, the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Charles Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: I do.
[long pause]
Angel: You're all fired.

[first lines]
Charles Gunn: Were almost there. Yo! Anybody home?
Cordelia Chase: Oh my God! Angel!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What happened?
Charles Gunn: I don't know. He's kinda been in and out. I only got half the story. Half of it didn't make sense.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel. There's no time, no time. Okay, okay. Let's sit him down here.
Cordelia Chase: Where was he?
Charles Gunn: Coming from the motel.
Cordelia Chase: Darla's motel?
Angel: I should've heard them.
Charles Gunn: I managed to get him to the truck without him bursting into flames or anything.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He's hurt.
Charles Gunn: This was a wreck. Something went down. Something not good.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel?
Angel: I was just so... so tired.
Cordelia Chase: Where is Darla?
Charles Gunn: I don't know. She weren't there.
Cordelia Chase: I knew it. She did this to him. I knew she couldn't be trusted.
Angel: She's dead.
Cordelia Chase: What?

Angel: I should've stopped them. They made her drink.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel?
Angel: She didn't want to. You think that you can resist... but then it's... it's too late.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Someone made Darla drink?
Angel: It was "her".
Cordelia Chase: Okay, way too many pronouns here. Who's "her"?
Angel: Drusilla.
Cordelia Chase: Drusilla's here?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good lord.
Charles Gunn: Who's Drusilla?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel? Angel?
Charles Gunn: Am I right in guessing this Drusilla's got a set of teeth?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, she's a vampire.
Charles Gunn: I think I'm stating to get the picture now.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps you should sit down.
Angel: I have to find her.
Cordelia Chase: Drusilla?
Charles Gunn: [Angel looks in cabinet] She probably ain't in there.
Cordelia Chase: He's delirious.
Angel: I can save her.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Save whom?
Angel: Darla.

Cordelia Chase: Okay, here's the list of local cemeteries, funeral homes and mausoleums.
Charles Gunn: You're telling me we have to go to each one of these places and start digging up fresh graves?
Angel: Drucilla will want to put the body in the ground.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, are you certain about this? A burial isn't necessary for a newly made vampire.
Angel: It would be for Drusilla. She's a classicist.
Cordelia Chase: She's a loony.
Angel: Forget mausoleums. Stick with cemeteries, something with a view of the night sky.
Cordelia Chase: So, just outside cemeteries, then?
Charles Gunn: It doesn't narrow it down much.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If it's just a burial she's after, one doesn't need a cemetery. Just dirt, really.
Cordelia Chase: Still not narrowing. Whole planet, pretty much made up of dirt.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And you just walked away?
Angel: No, I walked to my car and then I drove away.
Charles Gunn: You didn't do anything?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You allowed Darla and Drusilla to have free reign?
Angel: I didn't bring either one of them into this. They did.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You could've stopped them.
Angel: And I will.
Cordelia Chase: When? After they've finished off all the people you don't like?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, well it's certainly true these lawyers brought this on themselves. But what you did...
Cordelia Chase: Is wrong.
Charles Gunn: You went too far.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We've all been worried about you. And I guess it's fair to say we all share some of the blame. We should've spoken up sooner.
Charles Gunn: And louder.
Cordelia Chase: You have to change the way you've been doing things. Don't you see where this is taking you?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen to her.

Lilah Morgan: For God's sake, help us.
Holland Manners: Angel, please. People are going to die.
Angel: And yet, somehow, I just can't seem to care.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Listen to her! Right now the three of us are all that's standing between you and real darkness.
Charles Gunn: Best believe that, man.
Angel: I do. - You're all fired.

"Angel: Sanctuary (#1.19)" (2000)
Faith: Are you saying I got to apologize?
Angel: Think you can?
Faith: I don't know. How do you say, "Gee, really sorry that I tortured you nearly to death"?
Angel: Well, first off I think I'd leave off the "Gee"...

Buffy: She tried to kill you.
Angel: That was just - That was just a cry for help.
Buffy: A cry for help is when you say "help" in a loud voice.

Buffy: I have someone in my life now... that I love. It's not what you and I had. It's very new. You know what makes it new? I trust him. I know him.
Angel: That's great. It's nice... you moved on. I can't. You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again; it cuts me up inside, and the person I share that with is me. You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home.

Angel: For a taciturn shadowy guy, I've got a big mouth.

Buffy: You hit me!
Angel: Not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first.

[Angel pops out of the shower]
Angel: Everything okay in there?
Faith: It was touch-and-go for those four minutes you left me alone but somehow I got through it.

Faith: I mean, am I your prisoner here?
Angel: No, you're not my prisoner.
Faith: So I'm free?
Angel: Don't know about that... but the door's open.

Angel: He'll come around.
Cordelia Chase: Wesley? Sure. People always get a little funny right after they've been sadistically tortured. Well, you'd know.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Faith] I hope she's strong enough to make it... Peace is not an easy thing to find.
Angel: She has a chance.

"Angel: In the Dark (#1.3)" (1999)
[to Spike whilst fighting]
Angel: Is this your big strategy for gettin' the ring back?
Spike: I had a plan.
[Hurls Spike onto a car and pins him face first to the bonnet]
Angel: You, a plan?
Spike: A good plan, smart plan, carefully laid out. But, I got bored.
[Spike pushes Angel against a wall]
Spike: All that watching, waiting. My legs started to cramp.

Angel: Oz.
Oz: Angel.
Angel: Nice surprise.
Oz: Thanks.
Angel: Staying long?
Oz: Few days.
[long pause]
Allen Francis Doyle: [to Cordelia] They always like this?
Oz: No, we're usually laconic.

Allen Francis Doyle: [after Angel receives the Gem Of Amara, a ring that allows the wearer to become unkillable] Why don't you put it on and, here, I'll stake ya. It'll be fun!
Angel: Maybe later.
Allen Francis Doyle: What, are you out of your mind?
Angel: I said, maybe later.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah...
Angel: Doyle!

Marcus: What do you want, Angel?
Angel: House in the country. A good pair of running shoes you can also wear out to dinner.

Angel: I don't know about you, but I had a nice day. You know, except for the bulk of it where I was nearly tortured to death.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you stood up.
Angel: Oh, God. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, on more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, everything.
Angel: How is your mom?

Allen Francis Doyle: So what, you don't get the ring because your period of self-flagellation isn't over yet? I mean, think of all the daytime people you can help between 9 and 5.
Angel: They have help. The whole world is designed for them. So much so that they have no idea what goes on around them after dark. They don't see the weak ones lost in the night. And the things that prey on them. And if I joined them, maybe I'd stop seeing too.

Spike: Enough with the hit-and-quip! Just tell me where the damned ring is.
Angel: It wouldn't go with your outfit.

Angel: Might as well go home, Spike. The gem of Amarra stays with me.
Spike: Why? Because you are vampire detective now? What's next? Vampire cowboy? Vampire fireman? Oh, vampire ballerina.
Angel: I do like to work with my legs
[Kicks Spike]

Angel: [to Oz, after saving the ring] Thanks for the help, man. You were key.
Oz: You're - - incredibly pale.
Cordelia: Look, you should lie down. We should take you home.
Allen Francis Doyle: Just give him a minute
[Angel stares at the sunlight beach in wonder]
Oz: [to Doyle and Cordy] He's very pale. Paler than most people.

"Angel: Awakening (#4.10)" (2003)
Connor: You're right. It is harsh and cruel. She was the only thing that made it hurt less.
Angel: Connor.
Connor: But it's not me. I could feel it in her touch, in her eyes. She loves you. It's always been you.

Angel: That means, if anything should go wrong with Angelus, you're gonna have to kill me.
Connor: Okay.
Angel: *If* anything goes wrong.
Connor: Right. I got it.

Angel: [to Wesley] Did you hear that? There's a sword. A sword to kill the beast. And you wanted to turn me into Angelus by having an evil Shaman cut off my head. Not that that wasn't a swell plan, too.

Cordelia Chase: Oh, no.
Angel: It's a dead end.
Cordelia Chase: Who booby-traps a dead end? That's just not right.

The Beast: We could rule this world. Why do you oppose me?
Angel: Rain of fire, blocking out the sun, and you just kinda piss me off.

[Angel has reluctantly agreed to release Angelus]
Angel: We're gonna need a cage.
Lorne: Cage?
Angel: A strong one. About ten by twelve, steel-reinforced. Two inch bars, maybe three. I'll make some calls.
Charles Gunn: What, he thinks something like that's going to hold the Beast?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's not for the Beast. It's for him.

[Angel is preparing to have his soul removed]
Angel: Connor.
Connor: What?
Angel: Look, I know you like to think of me as the enemy. But if this works, I will be. I'm going to become the one thing you were raised to believe I was. The thing I never, ever, wanted you to see.

[last lines]
Wo-Pang: Illusion becomes reality. It is done.
[Angel glances at the others, clearly a different person]
Cordelia Chase: [softly] Angelus.
Angel: [chuckles]
[pan over to the glass jar holding Angel's soul]

[Wesley is trying to convince Angel that Angelus is their only option to stop the Beast]
Angel: You have no idea what Angelus is. You only know what you've read in books.

"Angel: Life of the Party (#5.5)" (2003)
Angel: Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
Gunn: Lord, I hope so.

Angel: And Eve, you stay here with me. We'll have more sex.
Eve: I'm on it!

Angel: Eve. So I guess we should, I don't know, talk?
Eve: About what?
Angel: About what happened, you know, back there with us.
Eve: Angel, it's not like this is the first time I've had sex under a mystical influence. I went to U.C. Santa Cruz.

Lorne: And believe me, Milk Dud, speaking as the head of your PR department, we need all the face we can get.
Angel: Milk Dud?
Lorne: Said with affection.

Angel: We don't know how many of them are holding grudges against us or against each other. It's a perfect recipe for an out-of-control blood bath.
Lorne: That's describing every *good* party I've ever been to.

Angel: [making out with Eve] This seems a little sudden.
Eve: Uh huh.
Angel: Do you even have a last name?
Eve: Do you?

Eve: Simply put, this is a morale thing.
Harmony: Good luck. Morale around here stinks.
Angel: What?
Harmony: Uh-huh. Everybody out there thinks you suck. Well, come on, boss. They're all out there sweating through their matsudas, worried if you're gonna axe them or, you know, axe them.
Angel: OK, look, hey! I haven't... OK, I may have... killed... maybe a couple of them.
Lorne: And clients... And potential clients.

Angel: I'm brooding.
Lorne: You're watching hockey!
Angel: Yeah, but my team is losing.

Angel: There was one thing about you.
Spike: Really?
Angel: Yeah. I never told anybody about this, but i liked your poems.
Spike: You like Barry Manilow.

"Angel: I Will Remember You (#1.8)" (1999)
Buffy: Angel? You okay?
Angel: I feel weird.
Buffy: I know. I do, too. I-I mean, I only came to see you so I could tell you face-to-face not to see me face-to-face anymore. And I know there's a fly in that logic ointment somewhere, but, the next thing I knew, we were being attacked by this Mutant Ninja Demon Thing, and-and then we're on the floor on top of each other, and - It's just really confusing being around you.
Angel: No, I-I meant I felt weird from the demon's blood. It's powerful.
Buffy: Oh. 'Kay. Let's just rewind Buffy's little outburst and pretend it never happened.

Cordelia: They didn't even have cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip in your day.
Angel: Oh! I want some. Can you get that?
Cordelia: It'll go straight to your thighs.

Angel: The Gateway for Lost Souls... is under the post office?
Allen Francis Doyle: Eh, it makes sense, you think about it.

Buffy: [re: the Mohra demon] It was rude. We should go kill it.
Angel: I'm free.

Buffy Summers: Peanut butter, preferably crunchy!
Angel: I got it.
Buffy Summers: The perfect yum. Mmm, this is a dream. You're human for like a minute and already there is cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip in the fridge.

Angel: No need to stir any of this up again.
Cordelia: You don't wanna stir, but if my ex came to town and was all stalking me in the shadows and then left and then he didn't even say hello, I'd be...
Buffy Summers: A little upset. Wouldn't you?

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Buffy] Don't you wanna wake the girl?
Angel: Not for the world.

Angel: I went to see the Oracles again. I asked them to change me back.
Buffy: What? Why?
Angel: Because more than ever I know how much I love you.

"Angel: Ground State (#4.2)" (2002)
Elliot: Tempered Lucite.
Angel: He's gonna seal us in. Turn on the gas.
Gwen: What are you, Lex Luthor?

Angel: Tell me you're not here for the Axis.
Gwen: I'm not here for the Axis.
Angel: You're lying.
Gwen: I'm fibbing. It's lying, only classier.

Angel: Who are you?
Gwen: Who are you?
Angel: I asked you first.
Gwen: What are you seven?

Angel: How 'bout the police?
Charles Gunn: Uh, let's see. "Abandoned car. Empty apartment."
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: "No sign of violence. No plans for travel."
Charles Gunn: "Please file a missing persons report."
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: "And have a nice day."
Charles Gunn: But hey, that was only the first time. The next seven times they left off the "nice day" part.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Just beware: Dinza isn't remotely trustworthy.
Angel: What should I do then? Send her a gift? A sacrifice? Unholy fruit basket?

Dinza: I know all the lost things.
Angel: Really? City of Atlantis? Holy Grail? Jimmy Hoffa?

Angel: Listen, I need the Axis. See, it's an ancient mystical relic...
Gwen: [singing] It's fun for a girl and a boy.

Angel: So, you're a freak. Boo-hoo. So what?
Gwen: Excuse me?
Angel: I think you've already figured out I'm not the poster boy for normal. Sometimes, you gotta let go.
[hits Elliot]
Gwen: Hey. I wanted to do that.
Angel: You were gonna fry him.
Gwen: Was not.
Angel: Don't fib.
Gwen: Fine. Did you at least break his nose?

"Angel: Rm w/a Vu (#1.5)" (1999)
Cordelia: I am not giving up this apartment.
Angel: It's haunted.
Cordelia: It's rent-controlled.

Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. A bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school; decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police if they cared a lot about shoes.

Angel: You're makin' me wanna fight some more. You get lucky, you might last ten minutes; really lucky, and you're unconscious for the last five.

Angel: It's not an easy spell. I mean, hawthorn berries, and lungwort, and-and bile. We need bile. I-I don't know if we can get everything.

Detective Kate Lockley: Well, see, the thing about detectives is they have résumés and business licenses and last names. Pop stars and Popes, those are the one-name guys.
Angel: You got me. I'm a Pope.

Allen Francis Doyle: The past... don't let go does she?
Angel: Hmm, she never does.

Cordelia: Angel, at some point in the recent history *you* got peanut butter on your bed, and it's gross. I think you're gonna have to change the sheets.
Angel: [protesting] I don't eat!
Cordelia: Well then, I don't even want to know how it got there.

Angel: You know, this really is just a place to live.
Cordelia: No, It's more. It's beautiful, - and if it goes away it's like...
Angel: Like what?
Cordelia: Like I'm still getting punished.
Angel: Punished.
[Cordy nods]
Angel: For what?
Cordelia: I don't know. For what I was? For everything I said in High School just because I could get away with it? - And then it all ended, and I had to pay. - Oh, but this apartment - I could be me again. Punishment over - welcome back to your life! Like, like I couldn't be that awful if I get to have a place like that? - It's just like you!
Angel: Working for redemption.
Cordelia: I meant because you used to have that mansion.

"Angel: Origin (#5.18)" (2004)
Illyria: Your body warms. This one is lusting after me.
Connor: Oh, no. I - It's - It's just, uh - it's the outfit. I-I guess I've always had a thing for older women.
Angel: They were supposed to fix that.
Connor: What?
Angel: Nothing.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [about Illyria] She's either counting oxygen molecules or analyzing the Petri dish she just put into her mouth. Or sleeping. I can never quite tell.
Angel: You sure this is a good idea?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We have plenty of Petri dishes.

Angel: [about Illyria] She put a whole Petri dish in her mouth?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: She doesn't understand our world. She needs someone to guide her. She needs...
Angel: When was the last time you slept? You're not her savior. I need you here, working, not off drinking yourself into a coma, chasing ghosts. Fred's dead, Wes. You're still alive. Start acting like it.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Illyria can be... difficult. Testing her might be hard without getting someone seriously hurt.
Angel: We'll make Spike do it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good.

[Angel and Connor are walking down the hallway talking when Spike is thrown through a door]
Spike: Oh, you filthy harlot! I'm going to tear your neck out!
Angel: [to Connor] Want to meet some of my co-workers?
Connor: Sure.

Angel: Tell you what. Why don't you just tell me?
Marcus Hamilton: Let's be clear about this. Things run differently now. I'm not a little girl. You and I won't be making love on this couch any time soon. Now, with that in mind, how can I help you?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You changed the world.
Angel: He's my son, Wesley. Connor's my son.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [long pause] Did you trade her? Did you trade Fred for your son?
Angel: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Everything that's happened since we took over Wolfram & Hart, everything that's happened to... her... Did you know? Was Fred the price?
Angel: No. Wes... I can explain. Just put that down.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Why are you so afraid of this? He said it would bring back the past. Will it undo what you've done?
Angel: No. It won't bring her back.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Let's find out.
[He motions like he's going to throw the glass cube to the ground]
Angel: No! Please. You have to trust me.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I can't. Not anymore.
[Wesley slams the glass cube into the ground. As it shatters, the cube releases an explosion of bright yellow light, sending everyone in the room back from the blast]

"Angel: The Bachelor Party (#1.7)" (1999)
Cordelia: So here I am at L'Petite Renard with "Mr. Armani" who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life...
Angel: Blue boxes?
Cordelia: Tiffany's. God! And the whole night I was bored silly. All I could think about was if this wimp saw a monster he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
Angel: There aren't very many people who wouldn't run. It's just human nature.
Cordelia: Yeah. But, all of a sudden, rich and handsome wasn't enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault, both of you.
Angel: Well, maybe not. Maybe you're changing. And that could be a good thing.
Cordelia: Or disastrous. As if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some badly-dressed superhero. He was really beat up. But, you know the first thing he asked? "Are you okay?"

Cordelia: Hi, Doyle. Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cuz, you know, we already have one of those around the office.
Angel: Hey.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey.
Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and-and look at the way clothes hang on him. But you...
Angel: O-Okay. I think you've cheered us up enough.

Allen Francis Doyle: [about Cordelia] She's not going to fall for my ample but unpretentious charms, is she?
Angel: Unless by some unpretentious means you don't like to brag about your family's old money.
Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, the only money in my family is underneath the couch cushions. Not to mention the fact that half of them are demons.

[after one of Doyle's visions]
Allen Francis Doyle: There's a young guy.
Angel: Where?
Allen Francis Doyle: Vampires have a nest downtown. Poor kid's gonna be the entrée.
Angel: Let's go. Come on.
Allen Francis Doyle: Everybody's got dinner plans but us.

Angel: Where are you?
Cordelia: In the netherworld known as the 818 area code.

Allen Francis Doyle: So that's it then? That's your exciting plan for this evening? A book?
Angel: I get enough excitement.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah - of the evil-fighting variety. How about a little off-duty fun?
Angel: Such as?
Allen Francis Doyle: Two beautiful words: Sports Bar!
[Angel gives him a look]
Allen Francis Doyle: Come on! You know they have Trivia games on the Internet now? You can challenge against drunks around the world. Anything, please! I just can't sit around here while...
Cordelia: [Coming in] While I steal into the night with my incredibly-more-wealthy-then-you prince?

Angel: [Reading from a book] Here it is - Ano-movic. Once a nomadic tribe. At one time they did have violent leanings...
Allen Francis Doyle: There! I knew this nice guy routine was just an act. He's working a spell on her. She gonna sprout hubcaps from her head or something.
Angel: But they gave up those orthodox teachings, - language, - around the turn of the century.
[closes the book and puts it down]
Angel: Now they own a number of restaurants with pretty expensive windows.

Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, this Richard, you know, he looks like he'd give her a good life.
Angel: Yeah
Allen Francis Doyle: Seems like a nice - friendly fellow, don't you think?
Angel: Definitely friendly, - only - he seemed a bit...
Allen Francis Doyle: [Jumps up] Exactly! I knew he was no good! And even though we're ex, I mean, it's still my duty to watch over her, right? But I can't go trailing after her intended myself. I mean, it just wouldn't look right. Angel, you think you would...?
Angel: Yeah. Just don't tell Cordelia. - She'll wanna charge you.

"Angel: Destiny (#5.8)" (2003)
Angel: [on phone] You took my Viper.
Spike: My Viper now, mate. Possession's nine-tenths. Oughta know that, runnin' a law firm and such.

[Spike drinks from the Cup of Perpetual Torment, then drops it, astonished]
Angel: Spike?
Spike: It's... Mountain Dew!

Spike: [about Drusilla] It's like she's still got a bit of a child in her.
Angelus: Perhaps two or three by now.

Spike: You never knew the real me. Too busy tryin' to see your own reflection, praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you.
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you. Because you weren't me.

Angel: [about Spike] I like this one. We're gonna be the best of friends.
[flashes forward in time to present day]
Angel: [angrily] Spike, get the hell away from me.

Spike: Is that what you think you are, a hero?
Spike: Saved the world, didn't I?
Angel: Once. Talk to me after you've done it a couple more times.

Spike: Look at you, thinking you're the big savior fighting for truth, justice, and soccer moms. But you still can't lay flesh on a cross without smelling like bacon, can you?
Angel: Like you're any different.
Spike: Well, that's just it. I am, and you know it. You had a soul forced on you, as a curse, make you suffer for all the horrible things you'd done. But me, I fought for my soul. Went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting 'cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It's my destiny.
Angel: Really? Heard it was just to get into a girl's pants.

Angel: [sarcastically, to Spike] You're a real hero.
Eve: And that's our problem in a nutshell.
Spike: Our problem?
Angel: Eve's got this theory.
Eve: Fact, Jack. There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you, and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad.
Spike: Hold on a tick. You're blaming this on us?
Angel: No, she's blaming it on you.
Eve: This town might not be big enough for the both of you.

"Angel: Disharmony (#2.17)" (2001)
[last lines]
Cordelia: AAGGHH! Oh! Oh, my God! These are gorgeous! You have, the most amazing taste! You have, like, a gay man's taste! And that's saying something! I love them so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best! Mwah! I have to go try these on! La, la, la, la, la...! New clothes. I have new clothes! I have new clothes!
Angel: [to Wesley] I got her clothes.
Cordelia: New clothes! I have new clothes! New clothes, new clothes!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I took the liberty of providing you with a new working space.
Angel: Great.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Angel starts to go. Wesley stops him with] And I'd love a cup of coffee.
Angel: [wryly appreciates the joke] That's, that's very funny.
Cordelia: [Now, Cordelia passes in front of Angel saying] Two sugars in mine.
Charles Gunn: Mocha cappuccino, here.
Angel: [Slowly realizes they're not kidding, his smile fades and he turns to get coffees] Man, atonement's a bitch.

[first lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This won't be easy for any of us, Angel. You're going to have to change your behavior... Engage your co-workers from time to time. Be sensitive to their feelings, their opinions. Especially before you take some action one might construe as... well, let's just call it: insane? It goes a long to show you appreciate and respect them.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: This is torture for you, isn't it?
Angel: Yes.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Good.

Cordelia: [talking about Harmony] So, you just thought you'd bust into my house and kill my friend without giving her a chance to explain herself?
[Angel and Wesley share a look]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah.
Angel: Pretty much.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That was the plan.
Cordelia: Holster your guns, boys. She came to me for help.
[pause as she let's that sink in]
Cordelia: That's what we do, right? Help?

Harmony Kendall: Eww. It tastes funky.
Angel: It's pig's blood.
Harmony Kendall: Uch! Well, that's gonna go straight to my hips.

Angel: Harmony will turn on you.
Cordelia: Why? Because you did?
Angel: Because it's her nature. She's a vampire.
Cordelia: So are you.
Angel: She doesn't have a soul.
Cordelia: Oh. That's it, is it? You're better than her because you have a soul.
Angel: [not defensive] Well... yeah.
Cordelia: I noticed yours didn't get in the way of betraying the people who work with you. Who cared about you. And, you know, you didn't just betray me, Angel. You didn't just hurt me... You gave away my clothes!
Angel: [hoping this will help] To the needy...
Cordelia: I am the needy!

Angel: [talking about Cordelia] Do you think maybe that I should send her something? Like flowers, maybe?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Flowers?
Angel: Yeah, you know, to say, uh..."Thanks, I'm sorry about the migraines". You know... , "I appreciate you".
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, by all means. And, um... while you're at it, pick me up one of those, "Sorry you were shot in the gut" bouquets!

Cordelia: Do you know how scared I was you were on your way to becoming Angelus *again*? Imagine what could have happened if you'd gone nuts and slept with Darla.
Angel: [eyes darting evasively] You know I would never do that.

"Angel: Through the Looking Glass (#2.21)" (2001)
[Angel has a reflection and is looking at his hair seeing himself in a mirror]
Angel: Okay, this is because of goin' through the portal, right?
[pushes down hair]
Cordelia Chase: No. It always looks like that.

[still looking at his hair]
Angel: I don't get it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, the Host knows this world. We need to ascertain...
Angel: No, I mean why didn't anybody tell me about this?

[first lines]
Angel: One... Two... Three...!
Cordelia Chase: [Cordelia clears her throat] Hi, guys.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia?
Charles Gunn: No way!
Angel: You're safe?
Cordelia Chase: A little bit. They made me ruler.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: But this is fantastic.
Cordelia Chase: Well... It's not like my throne couldn't use a few extra cushions. But I'm really not gonna complain because well... throne.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can order them to release us?
Cordelia Chase: Yes, I really could.
Constable Narwek: Shall we gut the cows now, that you might dine on their ignoble flesh, Oh Most High?
Cordelia Chase: You're most high if you think that is gonna happen. Besides, shouldn't there be some extended groveling first?
Angel: Cordelia?
Cordelia Chase: Okay. Off with their heads!
[the Pyleans pull out their swords]
Cordelia Chase: Kidding.

Lorne: See there? She had a vision. That explains it.
Charles Gunn: It does?
Lorne: Well, see, there's this prophecy...
Angel: A prophecy. Great. Because those always go well...

Angel: [to the Pyleans] ... And the scroll was just tipping off his fingertips. And his eyes... The fighting was fierce! Whack! I chopped off the evil lawyer-beast's hand, and he screamed and he screamed... and then I left.
Lorne: Well, you're just the regular Hans Christian Tarantino, aren't you?

Landok: Angel, you must again tell the tale of the sorcerer who could remove his limbs and reassemble at will.
Lorne: Right, right. Because that's a good one.
Landok: Ah... It is time for the Bach-Nal. Angel, you shall swing the crebbil.
Angel: Yeah? Okay.

Angel: You okay?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Handsome man. Saved me from the monsters.
[runs off]
Angel: Hey! Wait a minute!

Angel: [to Fred] The monster. They saw what I really am. I can't go back. Not now, I can never go back. Never.

"Angel: First Impressions (#2.3)" (2000)
Wesley: [gasping] Gunn's in trouble. Can't breathe!
Angel: Gunn can't breathe?
Wesley: [still gasping] I can't breathe!
Angel: [lets go of Wesley's throat] Oh, sorry.
Wesley: [catches his breath] Oh, it's quite alright. Now, about the naked thing...

Wesley: Well, we're hardly prepared to face a demon of Deevak's caliber in our current condition.
Charles Gunn: You ready to pack it in? Only reason I called you was 'cause y'all supposed to be the demon experts.
Angel: Wesley's right. Three vamps, we should have been able to take them all a lot easier and faster than we did. We need to regroup.
Charles Gunn: Maybe the rest of you need a little down time, but I'm gonna track down Jameel and make him talk.
Cordelia Chase: When you do find him, you may wanna be a little more Guy Pearce in "L.A Confidential" and a little less Michael Madsen in "Reservoir Dogs."
Charles Gunn: I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed at the Oscars for "Malcolm X." Later.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [Angel attacks Wesley] Angel, it's me!
Angel: What are you doing here?

[first lines]
Lorne: 'Send In The Clowns' and 'Tears Of A Clown', both in one night. What a treat.
Angel: Yeah, well, I, uh, was sorta going for a, you know, medley kind of a thing.
Lorne: Yeah, yeah. More of a due-dly really, wasn't it?
Angel: I couldn't come up with a third.
Lorne: You know, still, I've never seen you open up like that before. Now tell the truth, you've been practicing, haven't you?
Angel: A little.
Lorne: Probably not in front of the mirror.
Angel: In the shower.
Lorne: Yeah, it so shows.
Angel: You think?
Lorne: You really put your heart into it. Question is, what happens to it now?
Angel: It?
Lorne: Your heart, you big softie. It may not be beating, but it can still break.
Angel: What do you mean?
Lorne: Well, just that you've come to a bend in your own personal uphill road, bro. Whether or not that slows you down, well, that's up to you.

Angel: Darla. I was afraid you weren't coming.
Darla: Mmm, don't be silly, silly! I've been here the whole time.
Angel: You have?
Darla: Mm-hmm, just waiting for you. Aren't you going to ask me to dance?
Angel: [they begin to dance] I still can't believe you're here. I mean, I killed you.
Darla: I'm over that. You haven't told anyone else about these dates of ours, have you?
Angel: No. I want you all to myself.
Darla: Hmm... I know how you feel.
Angel: It's so strange.
Darla: But good.
Angel: But good.
Lorne: Somebody get these two love-vamps a room!

[last lines]
Darla: You take care of so many people, but who takes care of you?
Angel: [smiling] You do.
Darla: That's right. I do. Come on. Come on. Leak back. Now, you just relax and let Darla take care of you. How's that?
Angel: Good.
Darla: I'm just getting started, baby. I know how to please you. All you have to do is let me. I could just eat you up.

Wesley: Come on. What are you waiting for?
Angel: [holds up a pink motorcycle helmet] I-I-I really don't think it's gonna fit.
Wesley: Oh, of course it will. Put it on.
Angel: You know, I-I don't need a helmet for protection.
Wesley: Angel. It's the law in California. Do you want us to get pulled over?
Angel: No.
Wesley: Then what's the problem?
Angel: Well, it-it's just, you know... the whole... visibility issue, not to mention the whole hat-head thing and, you know, when you really think about it, how come I have to wear the ladies helmet?
Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on!
[Angel puts the pink helmet on]
Wesley: Looks good. Hop on board gorgeous.
Angel: You'll pay for this.

Angel: Why are you so good to me after everything I did?
Darla: Because... you and I are one.

"Angel: Birthday (#3.11)" (2002)
Angel: Cordy, look, I know that you can't hear me, but, there's something I have to say. You really piss me off, you know that? I thought we trusted each other. But you've been lying. MRIs and CAT scans and it's been going on for over a year? Why couldn't you let me in? I coulda helped you. God, you make me so furious.
Cordelia Chase: [to Angel] You're furious? I get body-jacked on my birthday, and you're the one that's furious?

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, what are you doing on the floor?
Angel: I had this dream that Cordy was here. She was trying to umm... tell me something, something really important.
Cordelia Chase: Yes, and, and...
Angel: It's weird.
Cordelia Chase: How are *you* a champion? In what way are you a champion?

Angel: I'm more afraid of her dying than she is? What is that?

Cordelia Chase: I'm fine. You guys.
Angel: Cordy?
Cordelia Chase: I'll be okay.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Can you hear me?
Angel: Is she breathing?
Cordelia Chase: I'm just... dead?

Angel: Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Dirty people! Not touching the baby!
Cordelia Chase: But pig-drinking bloodsuckers are okay? I meant that in a nice way.

Cordelia Chase: [holding baby Connor] Uh... what a cruel dilemma! Presents, or sweet little baby-face...
[starts to get headache-vision]
Cordelia Chase: Oh. Take the baby!
Angel: You're choosing birthday gifts over my kid?
Cordelia Chase: Take the baby! Take the baby!

Angel: Did you get the information?
Lorne: Oh, why, yes, Angel. My horn should grow back in a couple of days. So kind of you to be concerned.

[last lines]
Angel: Uh, Cordy.
Cordelia Chase: What?

"Angel: Conviction (#5.1)" (2003)
[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Spike!
Angel: Spike.
Harmony: Blondie Bear?

Angel: You like to make an entrance.
Eve: You always open both doors when you enter a room?

Angel: Harmony.
Harmony: Hey. Boss.
Angel: You're my secretary?
Harmony: [scoffs] Hello. Assistant.
Angel: Explain why I shouldn't kill you?
Harmony: Secretary's fine.
Angel: No, it's not fine. Where is it fine? You've been working here?
Harmony: Yeah-huh.
Angel: Why?
Harmony: Well, duh, I'm a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city. I have to start somewhere. And they're evil here. They don't judge. They've got the necro-tempered glass.
[does a little dance]
Harmony: No burning up. A great medical plan. And who needs dental more than us?

Angel: [to Eve] News flash. You're not cute when I'm angry.

Lorne the Host: Well this is interesting. Apparently, old Joe Kennedy tried to get out of his deal with the firm.
Angel: That explains a lot.
Lorne the Host: Yeah, but, George Senior, he read the fine print.

[Agent Hauser points his gun at Angel]
Angel: You know that won't kill me.
Agent Hauser: It'll hurt. That part's fun.
Angel: Agent Hauser, I'm honestly beginning to suspect that you're not part of the solution.
Agent Hauser: You really think you can solve the problem? Come into Wolfram & Hart and make everything right? Turn night into glorious day? You pathetic little fairy.
Angel: I'm not little.
Agent Hauser: That's exactly what you are. You're miniscule. A dust mote on the shelf of that great institution. Now, you think I'm just a trigger-happy jerk who follows orders. But I'm something that you'll never be: I'm pure. I believe in evil. You and your friends, you're conflicted. You're confused. We're not. That's why you're going to lose. Because we possess the most powerful thing in the world: conviction.
Angel: There's one thing more powerful than conviction. Just one: mercy.
[Angel kicks Hauser's gun up, and Hauser shoots himself]
Special Ops Guy: What happened to mercy?
Angel: [walking off] You just saw the last of it.

Eve: He's happy and well-adjusted now that he has no memory of you. And the rest of the world, including your best friends,
Eve: never even heard of Connor.
Angel: [angry] That's not a name I want passing through your lips.
Eve: [smiling] And what *would* you like passing through my lips?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Angel (#1.7)" (1997)
Buffy: Angel?
Angel: Hmm?
Buffy: Do you snore?
Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.

Buffy: You read my diary? That is not OK. A diary is like a person's most private place. I - You don't even know what I was writing about. 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And-and when it said that your eyes are penetrating, I meant to write 'bulging'.
Angel: Buffy...
Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for Angel for that matter. It stands for Achmed, a charming foreign exchange student. So that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you, at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.
Buffy: Oh.

Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body. But it doesn't get your soul. That's gone. No conscience, no remorse... it's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done, and to care.

Darla: It's been a while.
Angel: A lifetime.
Darla: ...Or two, but who's counting?

Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family.
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friends' children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

Angel: I just wanted to see if you were okay... your mother.
Buffy: We're both good. You?
Angel: If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed I'll be all right. Look, this can't...
Buffy: ...ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am.
Angel: I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this.

Angel: I can walk like a man, but I'm not one.

"Angel: Blood Money (#2.12)" (2001)
Merl: Hey, what about my hundred bucks?
Angel: You know what, I'll owe ya. Just make sure you use it for some new furniture.
[looks around]
Angel: Beanbag chairs?
[shakes his head]
Angel: Merl.

Angel: You avoiding me Merl? I asked you for a favor, and you're avoiding me. That's impolite.
Merl: Well, nearly drowning me and leaving me hanging in a sewer ain't exactly Emily Post either.
Angel: Okay, so we're both rude. You know what? I can live with that. Now, do you have the information I need, or do I have to see what the inside of your head looks like?
Merl: Fine.

Anne Steele: Hey, guy I ran over.
Angel: Hey, girl who ran over me.

Anne Steele: Well, that's not what I expected. What's the matter? Doesn't fit you anymore?
Angel: Cuts me across the bust.

Angel: You screw with me, and you screw with me... and you screw with me. And now, I get to screw with you.
Angel: That's gonna be great!
Lilah Morgan: Angel, please...
Angel: No, no. The begging, - that comes later.

Angel: What did Lindsey say about me?
Anne Steele: That you were a bad man.
Angel: Bad man?
Anne Steele: A psychotic vampire who cut of his hand, harassed his firm and is borderline schizophrenic. - I was giving you the short version.
Angel: Do you believe that?
Anne Steele: Well, I'd say for sure you're a vampire. A human being would be in the hospital, the beating you took.
Angel: And that doesn't frighten you?
Anne Steele: A few years ago it would have been a big turn on. I thought vampires were the coolest.
Angel: What happened?
Anne Steele: I met one.
Angel: You're not afraid of me.
Anne Steele: Well, I've seen worse things since. I've seen a fourteen-year-old girl sitting in her own blood after a rough trick and dozens of people just walking right by, so no, vampires, demons, even lawyers pretty much don't impress me. Maybe you had a good reason for cutting off Lindsey's hand, I don't care.

[last lines]
Anne Steele: What's this?
Angel: Blood.
Anne Steele: It'll wash.

"Angel: Lullaby (#3.9)" (2001)
Angel: You love it.
Darla: Completely. I love it completely. I-I-I don't think I've ever loved anything as much as this life that's inside of me.

Darla: No, I haven't been nourishing it. I haven't given this baby a thing. I'm dead. It's been nourishing me. These feelings that I'm having, they're not mine. They're coming from it.
Angel: You don't know that.
Darla: Of course I do. We both do. Angel, I don't have a soul. It does. And right now, that soul is inside of me, but soon, it won't be, and then...
Angel: Darla...
Darla: I won't be able to love it. I won't even be able to remember that I loved it.
[Starts to cry]
Darla: And I want to remember. I...

Darla: Angel, our baby's gonna die right here in this alley. You died in an alley, remember?
Angel: I remember.
Darla: I wanna say I'm sorry. I wanna say it and mean it, but I can't. Aren't you gonna tell me it's okay?
Angel: No.
Darla: No. It's really not, is it? We did so many terrible things together. So much destruction, so much - pain. We can't make up for any of it. You know that, don't you?
Angel: Yeah.
Darla: This child - Angel, it's the one good thing we ever did together. The only good thing... You make sure to tell him that.

[first lines]
Angel: Holtz. My God.
Daniel Holtz: You have no God, demon.

Darla: Look at it. Listen to it. Can you smell it? This world, this horrible world. Why would anyone want to bring a baby into it?
Angel: To make it better maybe.
Darla: Or to destroy it, finally.

Angel: [to Darla] What I do know is that you love this baby. Our baby. You bonded with it. Look, you spent nine months carrying it, nourishing it.

Angel: You're gonna be okay.
Darla: No. No, I don't think so. Once he's gone, I won't be okay. I won't be okay at all. I don't know what I'll be.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Lie to Me (#2.7)" (1997)
Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.
Buffy: And you made her a vampire.
Angel: First I made her insane. I killed everybody she loved, visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her Holy Orders, I turned her into a demon.

Angel: Do you love me?
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.

Willow Rosenberg: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous?
Willow Rosenberg: Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

Xander Harris: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with deadboy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?

Angel: These people don't know anything about vampires: What they are, how they live, how they dress...
[a guy cuts through them dressed exactly like Angel]

Angel: Some lies are necessary...
Buffy: For what?
Angel: Sometimes the truth is worse... You live long enough you find that out...

[on the balcony outside Willow's bedroom]
Angel: Unless you invite me, I can't come in.

"Angel: Unleashed (#5.3)" (2003)
Angel: This is the part, where we take our friend and go.
Jacob Crane: I'm afraid not. Tonight may not be salvageable, but my guests have paid a high price, some higher than others, and I promised them a werewolf.
[Nina the werewolf bites Royce in the leg, and Wesley shoots her with a tranquilizer]
Angel: And a month from now, you'll have one.

Angel: I'm not gonna sing.
Lorne: Couldn't bear it if you did. No, it's talking you need. Or maybe a shoulder to...
Angel: I'm not gonna cry either.
Lorne: I was going to a leaning place. Okay, Atlas. How 'bout a shrug?

Angel: Where is she?
Dr. Royce: I don't know what you're...
Angel: Wrong answer!
Dr. Royce: But it's a secret. If I tell you - This man, he's not like you. You're a good guy, but he's a... Well, no offence, but he's scarier than you.
Angel: [assumes his vampire face] Want to bet?

Angel: [to Spike] You know that "whoosh" thing that you do where you're not there anymore? I love that.

Nina Ash: You don't ever think about... letting go? Disappearing somewhere?
Angel: Look, if you separate yourself from the ones you love, the monster wins.

Nina Ash: How do you live with it? Knowing that you've killed people?
Angel: Nina, they were going to eat you for dinner.
Nina Ash: I just want to wake up, you know?
Angel: At some point, you'll be at the grocery store or with Amanda and, the whole werewolf thing, it'll just be a part of who you are.
Nina Ash: Next you're going to tell me you actually like being a vampire.
Angel: Well, being nearly indestructible is cool.

Angel: I'm buying.
Lorne: Ladies and gentlemen, hell just froze over.

"Angel: Supersymmetry (#4.5)" (2002)
Angel: No more lies.
Cordelia: Good. Because, there's something I need to know. Were we in love?

[rips the roof off Lilah's convertible]
Angel: That's cool. The top just comes right off.

Lilah Morgan: You know Angel, coming from you, idle threats are so, well, idle.
Angel: You remember when I ripped your car in half?
Lilah Morgan: Yeah, yeah. Hulk smash.

Angel: They talk about me in the chatty rooms?

[a decapitated demon gets up]
Angel: Come on! I'm holding your head.

Charles Gunn: [At Fred's lecture] Listen, man, I'm gonna need simultaneous translating on this thing. You know, like the President with the Russians. But just gimme the highlights.
Angel: No problem. Of course, I have no idea what she's talking about.
Charles Gunn: Will you tell Fred that? If she thinks we're both stupid, I won't stand out as much.

Jared: You guys know how it is: you hear things, like from a friend of a friend's roommate. You don't know if they really happened.
Charles Gunn: Like the story about the girl, the cat and peanut butter.
Angel: That one's true.
[Gunn looks at him]
Angel: Long story.

"Angel: The Prodigal (#1.15)" (2000)
Angel: [about his sister] She thought I returned to her - an angel.

Darla: This contest is ended, is it?
Angelus: Now I've won.
Darla: Are you sure?
Angelus: Of course. I proved who had the power here.
Darla: You think?
Angelus: [stands] What?
Darla: Your victory over him took but moments.
Angelus: [looks back at his dead father] Yes.
Darla: But his defeat of you will last lifetimes.
Angelus: What are you talking about? He can't defeat me now.
Darla: Nor can he ever approve of you, in this world or any other. What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts, even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that.
Angelus: Love.
[looks around at his dead family]
Angelus: Is this the work of love?
Darla: Darling boy. So young, still so very young.

Angel: Ever since she ran me through with a two-by-four, things have been different.

Angel: So, you're back.
Cordelia Chase: Very good, Mister I-can't-tail-the-suspect-during-the-day-because-I'll-burst-into-flames Private Eye.

Cordelia Chase: The installation guy said it should be something easy to remember, like... my birthday.
Angel: I don't know your birthday.
Cordelia Chase: Yeah, tell me something you don't know that I don't know.

Angelus: Strange. Somehow you seemed taller when I was alive.
Angel's Father: Lord, bind this demon now.
Angelus: To think I ever let such a tiny, trembling thing make me feel the way you did.
Angel's Father: [crosses himself] Deliver me under thy protection, Father.
Angelus: You told me I wasn't a man. You told me I was nothing. And I believed you. You said I'd never amount to anything. You were wrong.
Angelus: You see, Father. I have made something of myself after all.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I Only Have Eyes for You (#2.19)" (1998)
Angelus: Fun fact about wasps. They have no taste for the undead. Not that a sting would do me any damage, it's just... tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you.
Buffy: [possessed by the ghost James] You're the only one. The only person I can talk to.
Angelus: Gosh, Buff. That's really pathetic.
Buffy: [faces him] You can't make me disappear just because you say it's over.
Angelus: Actually... I can. In fact...
[Angelus is possessed by the ghost Grace]
Angelus: I just want you to be able to have some kind of normal life. We can never have that, don't you see?
Buffy: I don't give a damn about a normal life! I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute.

Spike: Well, our old place was just fine till you went and had it burned down.
Angelus: Things change, Spikey. You gotta roll with the punches. Well, actually, you pretty much got that part down, haven't you?
Spike: Very funny, mate.
Angelus: What can I say? I just love to see you smile, buddy.

Spike: [Angelus is furiously washing himself] You might want to let up. They say when you've drawn blood, you've exfoliated.
Angelus: What do you know about it? I'm the one who was friggin' violated. You didn't have this thing in you.
Drusilla: What was it? A demon?
Angelus: Love!
Drusilla: Poor Angel.

Drusilla: Then I'll sleep naked. Like the animals do.
Angelus: You know, I'm suddenly liking this plan.

Angelus: If you don't like it, Spike, hit the stairs and go. Take a stand, man.

[last lines]
Drusilla: [Angelus wants to go hunting before sunrise]
[to Spike]
Drusilla: Want to come pet?
Angelus: [Angelus turns back] No can do, Dru. I'm sure he'd be Hell on wheels but we don't have a lot of time. Gotta' travel light.
[Angelus gets in Spike's face]
Angelus: Sorry. Try to have fun without me.
Spike: [after Angelus and Drusilla have left, Spike smiles] Oh, I will.
[suddenly Spike rises from his wheelchair unaided and kicks it away]
Spike: Sooner than you think.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Becoming: Part 1 (#2.21)" (1998)
Angelus: Hello, lover. I wasn't sure you'd come.
Buffy: After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show. Shouldn't you be out destroying the world right now, pulling the sword out of Al Franken or whatever his name is?
Angelus: There's time enough. I wanted to say goodbye first. You are the one thing in this dimension I will miss.
Buffy: This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?
Angelus: I didn't come here to fight.
Buffy: No?
Angelus: Gosh, I-I was hoping we can get back together. What do you think? Do we have a shot? Alright. We'll fight.

Angel: You're not a vampire.
Whistler: A demon, technically. I mean, I'm not a bad guy. Not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life.

Angelus: [to Drusilla] You can see all that in your head?
Spike: No, you ninny, she read it in the morning paper.

Angel: [about Buffy] I wanna help her. I want... I wanna become someone.

Angelus: Acathla, the demon, came forth to swallow the world. He was killed by a virtuous knight who pierced the demon's heart before he could draw a breath to perform the act. Acathla turned to stone, as demons sometimes do, and was buried where neither man nor demon would want to look. Unless of course they're puttin' up low-rent housing.
[to other vampires]
Angelus: Boys.
[two vampires open the sarcophagus]
Drusilla: He fills my head. I can't hear anything else.
Spike: Let me guess, someone pulls out the sword...
Angelus: Someone worthy.
Spike: ...The demon wakes up and wackiness ensues.
Drusilla: He will swallow the world.
Angelus: And every creature living on this planet will go to hell. My friends, we're about to make history... end.

Drusilla: Me mum says I'm cursed. My seeing things is an affront to the Lord. That only He's supposed to see anything before it happens. But I don't mean to, Father, I swear. I swear. I try to be pure in His sight. I don't want to be an evil thing.
Angelus: Oh, hush, child. The Lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a devil child like you.
Drusilla: [mortified] A devil...
Angelus: Yes, you're a spawn of Satan, all the Hail Mary's in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that.
Drusilla: What can I do?
Angelus: Fulfill His plan, child. Be evil. Just give in.
Drusilla: No! I want to be good. I want to be pure.
Angelus: We all do, at first. World doesn't work that way.
Drusilla: Father, I beg you. Please... please, help me.
Angelus: Very well. Ten 'Our Fathers' and an act of contrition. Does that sound good?
Drusilla: Yes. Yes, Father, thank you.
Angelus: The pleasure was mine. Oh, and my child?
Drusilla: Yes?
Angelus: God is watching you.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Prophecy Girl (#1.12)" (1997)
Angel: Well, there's gotta be some way around it.
Rupert Giles: Listen, some prophecies are-are a bit dodgy. They're-they're mutable. Buffy herself has-has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.
Angel: Then you're reading it wrong.
Rupert Giles: I wish to God I were. But it's very plain. Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.

Buffy: So that's it, huh? I remember the drill: one slayer dies, the next one's called. I wonder who she is. Will you train her? Or will they send someone else?
Giles: Buffy, I...
Buffy: Does it say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt?
[Angel walks towards her]
Buffy: Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
Giles: I was hoping I wouldn't have to, that there was some way around it. I...
Buffy: I've got a way around it: I quit.
Giles: It's not that simple.
Buffy: I'm making it that simple: I quit! I resign! I-I'm fired! You can find someone else to stop The Master from taking over.
Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the signs indicate...
Buffy: Signs? Read me the signs! Tell me my fortune! You're so useful, sitting here with all of your books, you're really a lot of help!
Giles: No, I don't suppose I am.
Angel: I know this is hard.
Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die!
Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way.
Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!
Giles: Buffy, if The Master rises...
Buffy: I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die.

Xander: You were looking at my neck.
Angel: What?
Xander: You were checking out my neck. I saw that.
Angel: No, I wasn't.
Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck.
Xander: I told you to eat before we left.

Angel: She's not breathing.
Xander: But if she drowned, uh, there's a shot! CPR!
Angel: You have to do it. I have no breath.

Xander: How can I say this clearly?
[Holds up cross]
Xander: I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for ya. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.
Angel: You're in love with her.
Xander: Aren't you?

[last lines]
Angel: By the way, I really like your dress.
Buffy: Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone.

"Angel: Deep Down (#4.1)" (2002)
Angel: So, how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish, went mad with hunger, hallucinated a whole bunch.
Connor: You deserve worse.
Angel: 'Cause I killed Holtz. Except I didn't. I tried telling you that while you were busy off shore dumping me, but I didn't know the whole score. Holtz killed himself. Actually, he had your buddy Justine do it with an ice pick, just to make you hate me.
Connor: Even if... you still deserved it.
Angel: What I deserve is open to debate. But understand, there's a difference between wishing vengeance on someone, and taking it. So now the question becomes, what do you deserve?
[Connor gets up from the chair in a rush and tries to run out the door, but Angel slams him across the room, into the wall, where Connor falls to the ground]
Angel: Daddy's not finished talking.

Angel: What you did to me was unbelievable, Connor. But then, I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for 100 years, so a few months under the ocean actually gave me perspective. Kind of a M. C. Esher perspective. But I did get time to think... about us... about the world. Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh, and cruel. But that's why there's us - champions. Doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be. You're not a part of that yet. I hope you will be.
[Angel walks right up to Connor and stares at him]
Angel: I love you, Connor. Now get out of my house.

Angel: We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: To family.
Angel: To family.
Lorne: As long as it's not mine.

Angel: What, no hug?

Angel: Wesley told me everything that's been going on. So as far as I'm concerned, what you deserve rests on one answer. Did you do something to Cordelia?
Connor: No.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: He's lying.
Connor: No, I'm not.
Charles Gunn: No way she just happened to disappear the same night.
Connor: I'm telling the truth, okay?
Angel: I know. I can tell. Done enough lying for me to know the difference. Truth has a better sound to it. Less nasal, you know.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chosen (#7.22)" (2003)
Angel: I'm gettin' the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.
Buffy: You're not getting the brush off. A-Are you just going to come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?
Angel: Aha! Boyfriend.
Buffy: He's not. But he is in my heart.
Angel: That'll end well.
Buffy: What was the highlight of our relationship? When you broke up with me or when I killed you?

Buffy: I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming who ever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m- or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.
Angel: Any thoughts on who might enjoy - Do I have to go with the cookie analogy?
Buffy: I'm not really thinking that far ahead. That's kind of the point.
Angel: I'll go start working on the second front. Make sure I don't have to use it.
[starts to leave]
Buffy: Angel. I do. Sometimes, think that far ahead.
Angel: Sometimes is something.
Buffy: Be a long time coming. Years, if ever.
Angel: I ain't gettin' any older.

Angel: I started it, the whole having a soul, before it was all the cool new thing.
Buffy: Oh, my god. Are you twelve?

Angel: I got coverage on the whole thing. It's very gripping. Needs a third act.
Buffy: You have to leave L.A.

Angel: Has a purifying power or cleansing power - possibly scrubbing bubbles.

[Buffy has just sliced Caleb in two from the crotch up just as Angel revives from being hit on the head by Caleb]
Angel: Okay, now I'm pissed! Where is he?
Buffy: He had to split.

"Angel: Five by Five (#1.18)" (2000)
Angel: That gypsy girl you brought me - her people found out. They-they did something to me.
Darla: A spell?
Angel: Funny. You would think with all the people I've maimed and killed I wouldn't be able to remember every single one. Help me.
Darla: The spell. They gave you a soul. A filthy soul! No! You're disgusting!
Angel: Darla.
Darla: No, get away from me.
Angel: You brought her here. I am like you.
Darla: You're not like anything. Get away from me. Get out! I'll kill you!

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: If there's even a chance she could be reasoned with...
Angel: There was. Last year, I had a shot at saving her. I was pulling her back from the brink when some British guy kidnapped her and made damn sure that she'd never trust another living soul.
Cordelia Chase: Angel, it's not Wesley's fault that *some* British guy ruined your- Oh, wait.
[to Wesley]
Cordelia Chase: That was you.
[to Angel]
Cordelia Chase: Go on.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Seems you're taking this personally.
Angel: Well, she tried to shoot my own personal back, so yeah.

Angel: Giles said she left Sunnydale about a week ago. He described her mental state as borderline psychotic.
Cordelia Chase: That explains her outfit.

Angel: Help me track her down. I want you two to check police reports - beatings, killings - anything within the last week, possibly near bus stations and bars. And then you make yourselves scarce. I don't want to give her any free targets.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You've been targeted by a psychotic! I'm certainly not going to run and hide.
Cordelia Chase: I like the plan where I'm scarce.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We've got to band together. Strength in numbers.
Cordelia Chase: Two is a number.

Lindsey McDonald: While we're on the subject, I remember you throwing one of my clients through a window. Killed him, if I'm not mistaken.
Angel: Yes. I seem to remember. The window was just about that size. Too bad the body burned up before it hit the ground. I might have needed a good lawyer.
Lindsey McDonald: I'm sorry, we only handle a certain class of clientele.
Angel: I'm sure I killed enough people to qualify.

"Angel: Shells (#5.16)" (2004)
Knox: Showtime.
Spike: Any seats left?
Angel: If not, we can just stand in the back.
Knox: Guys, you should scan the headlines here. You-you can't win this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Then we all die trying.
Illyria: Why?
Angel: You want the short version? Let's start with you walkin' around lookin' like the woman you murdered.
Illyria: You think your actions will restore her.
Angel: No.
Illyria: Yet you seek a confrontation you cannot win.
Angel: What you're tryin' to do - raise your army, reclaim your world - innocent people would die, like Fred. I can't let that happen.
Illyria: You are the protector of these creatures?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: You'd fight for their lives?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: Even this one?
Knox: Is that an issue? Is-is my life in peril, boss? King?
Angel: You're about as low as it gets, Knox. But you're a part of humanity. That isn't always pretty, but it's a hell of a lot better than what came before. And if it comes down to a choice between you and him... then, yes. I would fight for his life just like any other human's, because that's what people do. That's what makes us...
[Wesley shoots Knox]
Angel: [to Wesley] Were you even listening?
Illyria: You've destroyed my Qwa'ha Xahn.
Spike: Yeah, okay. But you've gotta admit, he had it coming.

Angel: [on phone] Himalayas? I thought she was in South America.
Spike: We got a branch in Tibet? How 'bout a couple of Sherpas?
Angel: Alright, look - What do you mean she's not on this plane? You just said - Astral projection? Well, is there any way to get her astral to L.A.? Giles, this is an emergency.

Spike: Back in the lab, she was standin' right there in front of me, but there was no scent, nothin'. It's like she wasn't even there.
Angel: I know.
Spike: Look, I want Fred back as much as any of us, but seeing her there, like that, maybe she really is...
Angel: No. I lost Cordelia because some thing violated her. It crawled inside, used her up. No way in hell am I lettin' that happen again.

Angel: What the hell did you do?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What I had to.
Angel: I don't remember seeing "stab Gunn" on the agenda this morning.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I avoided the major organs. He'll probably live.
Angel: That's supposed to make it all right?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nothing is all right! Nothing will ever be all right.

Angel: Gone. What does it mean that she's gone?
Spike: Well, in the world of men, a person dies, they stay that way.
Angel: Unless you're a vampire.
Spike: Or the ghost of one that saved the world.
Angel: Or Buffy.

Angel: What'd you get out of the doctor?
Spike: Screams. Various fluids. And a name.

"Angel: Dad (#3.10)" (2001)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [surveying some of the damage in the hotel lobby] Not to mention some bastard's blown a gaping hole in the lift.
Angel: Sorry, my bastard.

Angel: [to Cordelia] No one is going to put their hands on this child. I promised his Mother.

Angel: I'm his only family. My job now is to be everything for him.
Cordelia Chase: Really? Okay. Follow me. Come on.
[takes Angel outside]
Angel: Where are we going?
Cordelia Chase: Come on.
Angel: Cordelia...
Cordelia Chase: We're going outside, where your son's gonna wanna go play, where you'll have to rush him to the hospital if he gets sick in the daytime. But I see your point. You can't go outside in the day like other parents because - you're a vampire. And even if you weren't, you can't do everything for him.
Angel: [puts his arm into the sunlight and it starts to burn] If he has to get to the hospital at noon on the sunniest day of the year, he'll get there - even if I don't.

Lorne: [about Angel] Good morning, all. Is that bacon I smell or did somebody fall asleep with the curtains open? Gotta figure, a guy like you, a place like this, the only truly safe room would be the janitor's closet.
Angel: Thanks for the tip.

Angel: [to Connor] We'll get through this, I promise. The vampire/demon/biker posse, that's the easy part.
[the Hum-vee following rams his car from behind]
Angel: The part that scares me - are all the questions, you know: Why is the sky blue? Why do people get sick? Why is there always pigs' blood in the fridge? I don't have all the answers. Well, I do to that last one.

[last lines]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Not to be negative or anything, but we're okay, right? Nobody else is coming after Connor or us?
Angel: No, we're safe for the time being. Let's go home.
[to Gunn]
Angel: Nice stroller.
Charles Gunn: Thank you.

"Angel: Dead End (#2.18)" (2001)
Cordelia Chase: Soup and salad, too? What is going on here?
Angel: I forgot what you liked.
Cordelia Chase: Why didn't you ask me?
Angel: Well, you said, why is everyone asking you if they can get you anything. I-I didn't wanna do that.
Cordelia Chase: So you did this instead.
Angel: Yup.
Cordelia Chase: I love you.

Angel: There's only one thing we can do now.
Cordelia Chase: Oh, God. Oh, no!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The karaoke bar.
Charles Gunn: Angel's gonna sing?
Cordelia Chase: Isn't there some other way?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There has to be. Think, damnit!
Angel: Hey! Come on.

[Lindsey is singing]
Cordelia Chase: Wow, h-he's good.
Charles Gunn: Lawyer's got some pipes.
Angel: You think he's good?
Cordelia Chase: Shh!
Angel: What is that? Rock, country, ballad? Pick a style, pal.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Shh!
Lorne: Angelcakes, don't make me ask you to leave.

Angel: You know, when I was in charge here, nobody questioned my methods, or my singing.
Cordelia Chase: You're half right.

Angel: Kill you? Why would I kill you, when I could live off you for a month?

Parole Officer: I'm not telling you zip! You can kill me, but Wolfram & Hart is gonna do a lot worse if they found out I talked to you.
Angel: Kill you? Why would I kill you...
[changes into his vamp face]
Angel: When I could live off you for a month!
Parole Officer: AHHH!
Angel: [sarcastic] Mmm, can't you just taste that butter fat?
Lindsey McDonald: You are really gross. You know that?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Enemies (#3.17)" (1999)
Angel: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to Hell.
Buffy: No...
Angel: Yeah, and I'm just wonderin', where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration?

Buffy: I never knew you had so much rage in you.
Faith: What can I say? I'm the world's best actor.
Angel: Second best.

Buffy: Well.
Angel: Well.
Buffy: That was very... artistic.
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy: It wasn't what I expected. I mean, I-I've never actually seen... Well, from the title, I thought it was about food.
Angel: Well, there was food.
Buffy: Right. Th-the-the scene with the... food. So, feel like getting some hot chocolate, or some cold shower?
Angel: I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed.
Buffy: A little scary. And a little not, which is also scary. I'm sorry. I-I just don't like getting you worked up like that. We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono.
Angel: Buffy, you don't have to worry about me.
Buffy: I just don't like to rub your nose in it. Suddenly wondering where that expression comes from.
Angel: Look, I-I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna lose control, or that I'm gonna be frustrated around you. It feels nice just to feel.
Buffy: It doesn't drive you crazy when we're close?
Angel: Watch this.
[kisses her]
Angel: See? Safe as houses.
[they kiss again]
Faith: Check out the lust bunnies.
Buffy: Patrol?
[Faith nods]
Angel: The council has you back on active duty?
Faith: Finally. They want us down by Mercer.
Buffy: Okay.
[to Angel]
Buffy: Good night.
Angel: I'll see you soon.
Faith: Don't worry, big guy. Just keepin' her warm for ya.

Angel: You're still my girl?
Buffy Summers: Always.

Angel: Are you still my girl?
Buffy Summers: Always.

"Angel: Redefinition (#2.11)" (2001)
Angel: [voice over] I'm ready. I got the moves. Now I need to know what theirs are.

Angel: [voice over] I'm not ready yet. Too many years spent sleeping in soft beds... living in a world where I don't belong. I can't fight now. Not yet. But soon.

Angel: [voice over] When Wolfram and Hart take a life, they do it at a distance. I don't have that luxury. It's time. I'm not on their level. But I can get there. And when I do, I'll be right up close. I'll bring the fight to them.

Angel: [voice over] I'm not ready.
Darla: Angel.
Angel: [voice over] I can still feel her. Her pain. Her need. Her hope. I'm too close. Too close to fight her.

[last lines]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I thought you'd like to know that we're keeping the agency open. With or without you. You may have turned your back on your mission, but we haven't. Someone has to fight the good fight.
Angel: [voice over] Let them fight the good fight. Someone has to fight the war.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Becoming: Part 2 (#2.22)" (1998)
Angelus: You're going to hell!
Buffy: Save me a seat.

Angelus: No weapons... no friends... no hope. Take all that away and what's left?
Buffy: Me.

Angelus: [to Giles] I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even *have* chainsaws.

Angel: [Angelus has just turned back into Angel] Buffy? What's going on? Where are we? I-I don't remember.
Buffy: Angel?
Angel: You're hurt. Oh, Buffy... God. I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Oh, my God, everything's so muddled. I... Oh. Oh, Buffy... What's happening?
Buffy: Shh. Don't worry about it.
[kisses him]
Buffy: I love you.
Angel: I love you.
Buffy: Close your eyes.
[kisses him again then runs him through with the sword]
Angel: Buffy...

Drusilla: [mopping Giles' brow with a damp cloth, who's very weak from Angelus' torture] Is that better? Poor thing.
[strokes his head]
Drusilla: Let's see what's inside.
[Drusilla shuts her eyes as if looking for something and then her eyes suddenly open]
Drusilla: Of course. Look at me.
[when Giles won't she looks him right in the eye]
Drusilla: Be in me.
[Giles is now looking eye to eye with Drusilla]
Drusilla: See with your heart.
[Drusilla covers Giles' eyes for a moment and when she takes her hand away Jenny Calendar has taken her place]
Rupert Giles: Jenny. I thought I'd lost you.
Jenny Calendar: Shh. I'll never leave you.
Rupert Giles: We have to get out of here.
Jenny Calendar: No, no, no. Slowly.
Rupert Giles: It can't be you.
Jenny Calendar: Did you tell Angel about the ritual?
Rupert Giles: No. We have to get him away from Acathla.
Jenny Calendar: Why? Is he close to figuring it out?
Rupert Giles: Later.
Jenny Calendar: Tell me what to do. It's alright. We'll be together... finally. We'll have everything we never got to have. Never got to feel. Just tell me what to do.
Rupert Giles: We have to get Angel away from Acathla.
Jenny Calendar: Angel himself? He's the key?
Rupert Giles: His... his blood. He mustn't...
Jenny Calendar: Shhh.
[the two start kissing but then we see it was Drusilla all along]
Angelus: The blood. Of course. The blood on my hand's must be my own. I am the key that'll open up the door. My blood. My life.
[to Spike]
Angelus: OK, kill him.
Spike: Yeah, but what if he's lying?
Angelus: [musing it over] Yeah, good point. Alright, don't kill him. You know, I kinda' like having you watch my back. Kinda' like old times.
Spike: [Drusilla and Giles are still kissing] Er, Drusilla.
Angelus: [to Drusilla] Honey.
Spike: We are finished here, ducks.
Drusilla: [Drusilla looks at an incredulous Angelus and Spike] Sorry. I was in the moment.
[Giles suddenly realises he's given Angelus what he needs to destroy the world]

"Angel: I've Got You Under My Skin (#1.14)" (2000)
Angel: She's makin' brownies.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, is that what I smell? I thought I tracked something in.

Paige Anderson: [eating brownie] What's your secret, Angel?
Angel: I use... chocolate. That's why they're brown. Which gives them their name. Brownies.

[Cordelia is cutting brownies with Wesley's demon hunting knife]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: That is not appropriate; it's for killing extinct demons. Angel, make her stop. That blade is very old. Who knows what kind of corrosive effect her cooking may have on it?
Cordelia Chase: Corrosive effect?
[pointing the knife at Wesley]
Angel: Cordelia, just put down the very sharp knife.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, they don't smell right.
Cordelia Chase: I think "Mister too much cologne" is the pot calling the kettle stinky.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, before we go any further, I just want to assure you, inasmuch as we'll be fighting side by side... what that demon said before...
Angel: I know you're not planning to kill me, Wesley. But you're willing to, and that's good. Now come on.

Ethros Demon: I am Ethros. I corrupted the spirits of men before they had speech to name me. The child was but the last among tens of thousands. One more pure heart to corrupt, one more soul to suck dry.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well chalk up one exciting failure. You didn't get that boy's soul.
Ethros Demon: Hmph. What soul? Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is? Nothing. That's what I found in the boy. No conscience, no fear, no humanity. Just a black void. I couldn't control him. I couldn't get out. I never even manifested until you brought me forth. I just sat there and watched as he destroyed everything around him, not for a belief in evil, not for any reason at all. That boy's mind was the blackest hell I've ever known.
Angel: The marbles. That was you.
Ethros Demon: When he slept, I could whisper in him. I tried to get him to end his life, even if it meant ending mine.
Angel: You sleepwalked him in front of the car.
Ethros Demon: I had given up... hope. I know you bring death, I do not fear it. The only thing I've ever feared is... in that house.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Passion (#2.17)" (1998)
[first lines]
Angelus: [narrating] Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?

Angelus: [narrating] Passion is the source of our finest moments; the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief.

Angelus: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.

Angelus: [narrating] It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... without passion, we'd be truly dead.

Spike: Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds.
Drusilla: But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul.
Spike: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer.
Angelus: Don't worry, roller boy. I've got everything under control.
[a Molotov cocktail smashes on the table, setting the place afire]

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Pangs (#4.8)" (1999)
Xander: So what do we do now?
Willow: Well, we could stay here and stand watch, or, I just thought...
[Angel steps out of the dark next to them]
Angel: Willow.
Xander: [frightened] Angel?
Anya: [Anya runs her eyes coolly up and down Angel] So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?
Xander: He's evil again.
Angel: I-I'm-I'm not evil again! Why does everyone think that?
Willow: Angel's here to protect Buffy.
Angel: I haven't been evil for a long time!

Angel: Willow, I'm here to protect Buffy. I don't have a whole lot of time for personal stuff.
Willow: Right. Well, how can I help?
Angel: Well, if you can just tell me...
[Looking out the window. He sees Buffy and Riley chatting]
Angel: Who's that guy?

Angel: My friend had a vision. Buffy's in danger.
Willow: So tell her. Help her.
Angel: If she sees me, it'll be worse.
Willow: See, I don't get that, all this "leaving for her own good" garbage. Because that's what it is. You can't just give up because there's obstacles. What kind...
Angel: [Interrupting her tirade] Willow.
Willow: Sorry. My stuff.

Giles: So, what do you think?
Angel: [about Buffy] She sounds good. Kind of intense about this thanksgiving thing.
Giles: I think perhaps she's a little lonely, but I meant about the murder.
Angel: Whatever killed the woman in the museum, that's probably the danger.
Giles: Yeah, well, this danger, your friend has some ominous vision about Buffy. It's all terribly vague. I mean, there are other things happening on this campus.
Angel: Well, maybe I'm wrong, but I gotta try something. I can't just keep watching.
Giles: I'm glad that you're watching out for her, but I feel I should remind you that she's not helpless and it's not your job to keep her safe.
Angel: It's not yours anymore, either. Are you going to walk away?

Giles: [Angel watching over Buffy in secret] It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her, but she can't see you.
Angel: Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... Well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels.

"Angel: Expecting (#1.12)" (2000)
Angel: I really don't like it when people shoot me!

Wilson Christopher: You shouldn't sneak up on people like that in here. That's how accidents happen.
Angel: Speaking of accidents, I'm a friend of Cordelia Chase.
Wilson Christopher: This is a private club. Featured word: private.
Angel: Hey, you don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word: ass.

Angel: Hey, y'know, I-I-I'm startin' to get the big picture here. You guys proxy for Big Daddy Demon. He imbues you with his life force or whatever it is you're implanting in these women.
Jason: He has trouble finding his own dates. We just... help him out a little, that's all.
Wilson Christopher: Shut up, Jason.
Angel: And you get what in return, huh? Fame, money, success? That's it, isn't it? How else would losers like you get ahead?
Angel: I mean, you'd *have* to become procreative surrogates for a vile demonic entity.
Jason: [smirking] Well, mostly, I do it for the sex.

Cordelia: I learned something, too. I learned, um, men are evil? Oh, wait, I knew that. I learned that LA is full of self-serving phonies. Nope. Had that one down, too. Ahh, sex is bad?
Angel: We all knew that.
Cordelia: Okay. I learned that I have two people I trust absolutely with my life. And that part's new.

[watching Cordelia drink a supply of blood from his fridge]
Angel: I don't think I've ever realized just how disgusting that was.

"Angel: Soul Purpose (#5.10)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes, oddly, once again we find ourselves in a bit of a gray...
Angel: Don't...
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: ...area.
Angel: - say that! Can we just get through one damn day without saying that?

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Dream Sequence: Fred is dissecting Angel] There's your soul!
[Holds up a dead goldfish in a bowl]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Ooh. We're gonna have to flush this.
[Hands it to an incongruous bear]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Thank you, bear.
[Turns back to Angel]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Huh.
Angel: What's wrong?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Nothing. I can't seem to find anything wrong with you. I mean... except that you're empty. There's nothing left. Just a shell.
[Leans over his gaping torso]
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I think I can hear the ocean in there. Hello? Hello?

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [Dream sequence: Angel is sitting in the middle of a peaceful, sunlit meadow. Fred, Wesley, Gunn, and Lorne appear] This is really nice.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You can stay as long as you like. Stay forever.
Angel: No... there's so much work to do.
Charles Gunn: It's fine. We got it covered.
Angel: But I'm not supposed to be here.
Lorne: Enough fighting, Angel-heart. Time to let freedom ring. Let yourself go.
Angel: But I'm not finished.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You are if you want to be.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It'll be fine. Great, actually. All you have to do is stop caring.

Charles Gunn: What I want to know is how that thing even got in here in the first place.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We're checking the firm's storage facilities. It's possible that a specimen escaped or...
Angel: [to Eve] You. You brought it.
Eve: Me?
Angel: You were here.
Eve: I had a cameo in your little dream sequence? That's so sweet.
Angel: You put the big one on me after I killed the other one.
Charles Gunn: The other one?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, there was only one.
Angel: No.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Maybe you were confusing reality with your hallucinations?
Angel: Uh-uh. Changed your clothes.
Eve: Yeah. I do that sometimes, after a long day.
Angel: But you didn't change your earrings. You were wearing those in my hallucination, except I haven't seen you for days.
Eve: I've worn them before. Hey, I can't be held responsible for how you dress me in your fantasies.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: You did change your clothes, Eve, and I've never seen those earrings before today.

Angel: [Describing his dreams] It seemed... real. All of it.
Angel: [to Fred] You were dissecting me, taking things out of me, and there was this... bear.
Angel: [to Lorne] You called yourself Honky-Tonk, tried to get me to sing, but...
[trails off, not finishing his thought]
Angel: [to Gunn] You were big with the heckling.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Graduation Day: Part 2 (#3.22)" (1999)
Willow: You're awake.
Angel: You-you've been watching over me?
[grabs Willow's hand and kisses it]
Willow: Well, we've been takin' turns.
Angel: I thought-I thought I'd never see you again. I-I can't leave you. I-I-I was wrong. I need you.
Willow: Oh, you mean you need Buffy.
Angel: [pauses] Willow?
Willow: Yes, right, Willow.
Angel: Where is she?
Willow: She'll be back soon.
[Angel falls back asleep and Willow leaves]
Oz: Any change?
Willow: He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy.
Oz: You too, huh?

Buffy: You and Xander are gonna have to work together now, can you guys handle that?
Xander: I'm still key guy, right?
Buffy: Right.
Xander: Great. Then Angel, in his non-key-guy capacity, can work with me.
Angel: What fun.
Xander: Hey, key guy still talkin'.

Angel: [about the mayor] Well, he's not crazy about germs.
Cordelia: Of course, that's it. We'll attack him with germs.
Buffy: Great. We'll get him cornered and then you can sneeze on him.
Cordelia: No! No, we'll get a container of Ebola virus and, and, um- Or, it doesn't even have to be real. We could just get a box that says Ebola on it and, um, chase him.
[long pause]
Cordelia: With the box.
Xander: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.
Oz: He'll never see it comin'.

Angel: [stops the Mayor from smothering Buffy] Don't do that!
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [enraged tone] Oh, I will. I'll do worse! Murderous little fiend! Did you see what she did to my Faith?
Angel: I got no plans to weep over that.
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: Yeah, well I'd get set for a world of weeping! I'd get set for a world of pain! Misery loves company young man, and I'm more than willing to share that with you and your whore!
[Angel puches the Mayor who flies back against a window, who gets back up and regains his composure]
Mayor Richard Wilkins III: [resumes talking in his cheerful tone] Well... looks like someone has been eating his spinach. No need to worry everyone. There will be a little intermission here. Wouldn't want to miss the second act, do we?

Angel: Faith's out of the picture. Buffy put her in a coma.

"Angel: Slouching Toward Bethlehem (#4.4)" (2002)
Cordelia: That's everything? It all makes perfect sense now. I was a cheerleader, a princess and a warrior. And I have visions and super powers and I'm the target of an evil law firm because I've spent the last three months living on a higher plane, fighting for the forces of good, who wage a battle against demons and evilies and squishy bug babies, 'cause all that stuff's real and that's the world I live in. And-and I think I know why I don't remember any of this 'cause, hey who'd want to!
Angel: I know it's a lot to take in.
Cordelia: Says the vampire with a soul and his wacky gang of sidekicks.
Charles Gunn: [Raises his hand] Um, not a sidekick.

Angel: What do you remember?
Cordelia: I don't know. Numbers. Animals. Flossing.

Cordelia: [after beating up two guys] Wow. How did I-?
Cordelia: I am a spy.
[Angel sighs]
Cordelia: I get it now. You're all spies. Probably all Russian. And you've brainwashed me, and want me to believe we're friends so I'll spill the beans about some nano-techno-thingy that you want.
Charles Gunn: So... I look Russian to you?
Cordelia: Black Russian.
Angel: That's a drink.
Cordelia: Says the head spy.

Angel: We're gonna have to widen the search. All hospitals, police stations. She couldn't have just disappeared.
Angel: OK, once.

Angel: How could you let her wander off alone?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: The words "grown woman" come to mind.
Charles Gunn: And the gal does have a history of whooping ass. I mean, you saw the hurting she put on those Wolfram and Hart dudes. And could she really turn me into a rat?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Prom (#3.20)" (1999)
Angel: The prom?
Buffy: End of high school, rite of passage thingy. Think cotillion with spiked punch and the electric slide.
Angel: Right.

Joyce: I don't have to tell you that you and Buffy come from different worlds.
Angel: No, you don't.
Joyce: She's had to deal with a lot, grow up fast. Sometimes even I forget that she's still just a girl.
Angel: And I'm old enough to be her ancestor.
Joyce: She's just starting out in life.
Angel: I know. I think about it more now that she's staying in Sunnydale.
Joyce: Good. Because when it comes to you, Angel, she's just like any other young woman in love. You're all she can see of tomorrow. But I think we both know that there are some hard choices ahead. If she can't make them, you're gonna have to. I know you care about her. I just hope you care enough.

Angel: You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you.
Buffy: I don't care about that.
Angel: You will. And children.
Buffy: Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish.

Buffy: I always say patrol's not complete without a trip to the stinky sewers.
Angel: I'm sure I saw him come down here.
Buffy: Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was this big.
Angel: What can I say? I need closure.

Angel: I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart.
Buffy: Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating.
Angel: Don't.
Buffy: Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.
Angel: I don't.
Buffy: You don't wanna be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.

"Angel: The Thin Dead Line (#2.14)" (2001)
Angel: Hey, Merl.
Merl: Jesus, man! I mean, can't you, you know, knock?
Angel: You don't make that funny expression when I knock. Or, if you do, I don't see it.

Detective Kate Lockley: Guess you never caught up with your vampire friends in time.
Angel: I did track them down later and set them on fire.
Detective Kate Lockley: Sounds like you enjoyed it. But then again, the whole murder and mayhem thing's always been right up your alley.
Angel: If that's how you feel, I guess probably this isn't the best time to tell you, I just killed a cop.
Detective Kate Lockley: I wouldn't make a joke about that in this building, no matter how immortal you think you are.
Angel: Of course, I mean, this is the kind of cop that keeps talking even after he's been decapitated. I bet they don't teach you that in the Academy. Wanna tell me who that badge belonged to?

Angel: I thought you might want to know. I took care of our cop problem.
Detective Kate Lockley: Crime reports from that precinct. Up until three months ago, there was a murder every two weeks, a rape every two days, a robbery every hour and a half. That's what we just gave back to the people in that community.
Angel: I can live with that.
Detective Kate Lockley: You learn to live with a lot of things, don't you? This job is making me crazy.
Angel: I know the feeling.

[last lines]
Cordelia Chase: What are you doing here?
Angel: I heard about Wesley.
Cordelia Chase: Well, that's great. Too bad it takes a gunshot wound to make you give a crap. Wesley doesn't need you right now. We don't need you. You walked away. Do us a favor and just stay away.

Angel: [to the police captain who's been raising zombie cops] How do I stop them?
[slams him against the wall]
Angel: I'll repeat the question.

"Angel: Forgiving (#3.17)" (2002)
Fred: Don't you think she would want us to call? Shouldn't we tell her what happened? Maybe she could help.
Angel: No!
Fred: Angel...
Angel: She'll be back soon. And when she does, she'll have presents for Connor. And he's gonna be here so she can give them to him. Okay?

[Angel visits Wesley in the hospital]
Angel: Hey, Wes. I just - I want you to know I understand why you did it. I know about the prophecies and I know how hard it must have been for you to... do what you did. You thought I was gonna turn evil and kill my son. I didn't. It's important you know that. This isn't Angelus talking. It's me, Angel. You know that, right?
[Wesley blinks his eyes once]
Angel: Good.
[grabs a pillow and shoves it down on Wes' face]
Angel: Son of a bitch, you're gonna pay for what you did! You took my son! You son of a bitch! You bastard! You think I'd forgive you? Never! You're gonna die! You hear me? You're gonna pay!
Orderly: [tries to drag Angel off of Wesley] Hey!
Angel: [throws him off] You took my son, YOU TOOK MY SON!
Fred: Stop it!
Angel: You took my son!
Charles Gunn: Angel, stop!
[Gunn and the orderlies begin to drag Angel away with success]
Angel: Never! Never!
Charles Gunn: Come on, man! Stop!
Angel: I'll kill you! You're dead! You're a dead man, Pryce! You're dead! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! You're a dead man! Dead! Dead!

Lorne: Hey, I talked to a couple of different sources like you asked. Angel, the news isn't good. This... this "Quor'toth" dimension is... well, everyone that I spoke to is afraid of it. And these are not easily rattled people, and... that's not all. The portal you saw opened? It wasn't a portal because there are no portals to Quor'toth. And for a very good reason. It's probably the most hellish of all the demon dimensions in this known plane of existence. The only way to Quor'toth is to rip right through the fabric of reality. This isn't a matter of finding an interdimentional hot spot or conjuring an opening with a simple incantation. To punch through to Quor'toth would require dark, dark magic's... the kind of power it takes centuries to build. Angel, I know this isn't easy for you, but you got to hear it. If you somehow manage to get in... finding Connor in there would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. A haystack the size of China.
Angel: Needles. Should have thought of that.
Lorne: We don't have the resources to conjure up that much dark power.
[they walk into a room where Linwood is seen tied to a chair]
Angel: Oh, I think we do.

Sahjhan: Angel. I guess I have you to thank for the whole mortal coil thing. Making me corporeal once again.
Angel: Yeah. I'll tell you what. You take me to the Quor'toth world, help me find my son, we'll call it even.
Sahjhan: Really? You and me? Buddy cops, latest summer release movie. We iron out our wacky differences and bond? Don't think so.
Angel: You're taking me there.
Sahjhan: Couldn't even if I wanted to.
Angel: You're lying.
Sahjhan: No, I'm telling you the truth about that. Your kid's gone for good. I can open the Quor'toth exactly one time. That's why I chose it. Try again, the whole universe could go kaplooey. Bad for me, bad for America.

Sahjhan: I don't like to brag but... read any good prophecies lately?
Charles Gunn: You wrote the prophecies that Angel was going to kill his son?
Sahjhan: More of a rewrite.
Fred: "The father will kill the son."
Sahjhan: Yeah. I flitted back and forth through time, changed the one that threatened me, polished some others, flitted in a manly way, just so we're clear. You're not really my enemy, Angel. You're in my home uninvited and I'm gonna kick you ass for that, but you were never the point here.
Angel: It was my son, Connor.
Sahjhan: Boy, can't put one over on you, can you? Oh, wait... already did! It's pretty freaky the first time you see your name in a true prophecy all carved in blood on an official scroll. "The one sired by the vampire with a soul shall grow to manhood and kill Sahjahn". Me!
Fred: So you planted false prophecies that Angel would kill his son, and Wesley believed them. That's why he betrayed us. He read 'em and be believed 'em. He really did belive that Angel would kill his son!
Sahjhan: Thank God Wesley had some spine. He was willing to walk away from all of you to what he believed that he was saving that baby's life. Holtz was useless. He wanted to raise your kid as his own. I'm living incorporeal with a knife over my heart for 1,100 years, so I bring Holtz here into this century to kill Angel and Darla before they can conceive, and you know what? Holtz isn't interested in killing you, Angel. All he's into is some petty revenge. If Holtz had just killed the damn thing while it was still in its mother, we could have avoided all of this!
[enraged, Angel attacks Sahjahn]

"Angel: War Zone (#1.20)" (2000)
Cordelia Chase: I've missed that smell.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia Chase: What? No, money. I like to smell a little money once in a while.
Angel: She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office sometime and watch her. It's uncanny.

David Nabbit: Are you familiar with Dungeons and Dragons?
Angel: Yeah, I've seen a few.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You mean the, uh, role-playing game.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [after saving Angel] You should've tried to call us on your cell phone. You probably forgot you had it.
Angel: [Fishing phone out of his pocket] Those things hardly ever work. Besides, it was a lot easier and quicker to just - Look, I'm the boss here. I say when we use the cell phones... and people are gonna die and I have to go.

Angel: Here's the deal: you can go.
Knox: What?
Angel: If you go now and I never see any of you again, you get to live.
[Knox laughs]
Knox: Are you high?
Angel: L.A.'s my territory. You'll want to stay out of it for the rest of your eternal lives. These kids, my town, off limits from now on.
Knox: Who the hell are you? You know who you're talking to here, fool?
Angel: The name's Angelus.
[Angel stakes Knox]
Angel: I wasn't actually talking to you.

"Angel: The Magic Bullet (#4.19)" (2003)
Connor: She's been down here.
Angel: How old were you when you realized you could track like this?
Connor: I don't know. Five, six. We didn't exactly celebrate birthdays in Quor-Toth. Holtz made up a game so I could practice.
Angel: Oh, you mean he'd hide things for you to find?
Connor: Kinda. He'd tie me to a tree and then run away.
Angel: What?
Connor: You know. So I'd have to escape and then find him. One time it only took me five days.
Angel: Five days. He abandoned you and... Connor, that's terrible. That's...
Connor: Why I'm so good at tracking.

Angel: Dumb idea for such a smarty. You know bullets don't kill me. Wanna see how they work on you?

Angel: I mean, stranger things have happened.
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: Like Cordelia giving birth to a beautiful ebony goddess?
Angel: Not the example I was looking for, but yeah.

Connor: I'll kill you.
Angel: It'll pass.
Lorne the Host: Yeah, 'cause Lord knows he's never tried that before.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Some Assembly Required (#2.2)" (1997)
[first lines]
Buffy: [sitting on top of the gravestone of Stephan Korshak] C'mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.
Angel: Hey. Is this a bad time?
Buffy: Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel.
Angel: I heard you were on the hunt.
Buffy: I'm supposed to be, but... lazybones here doesn't wanna come out and play.
Angel: When you first wake up, it's a little disorienting. He'll show.
Buffy: It's weird to think of you going through that.
Angel: It's weird to go through.

Buffy: Are you jealous?
Angel: [chuckles] Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.
Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
Angel: I am *not* jealous.
Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.

Angel: What I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow Rosenberg: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.

[Cut to the cemetery. Angel and Buffy are strolling through]
Buffy: God, the whole thing was so creepy. Well, at the same time, I mean... he did do it all for his brother.
Angel: Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.
Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky.
Angel: What?
Buffy: Crazy stuff.
Angel: Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?
Buffy: Are you fessing up?
Angel: I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.
Buffy: I don't love Xander.
Angel: Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.
Buffy: I don't look that good in direct light.
Angel: It'll be morning soon.
Buffy: I should probably go. I could walk you home.
[They look at each other for a long moment. Finally Angel begins to walk, and Buffy accompanies him, her hand in his]

"Angel: Hell-Bound (#5.4)" (2003)
Spike: So that's it, then. I really am going to burn.
Angel: Welcome to the club.
Spike: Well, least I got company, eh? You and me, together again. Hope and Crosby. Stills and Nash. Chico and the...
Angel: Yeah, are we done?
Spike: Never much for small talk, were you? Always too busy trying to perfect that brooding block of wood mystique. God, I love that.
Angel: Not as much as I loved your nonstop yammering.
Spike: The way you always had to be the big swingy, swaggerin' around, barkin' orders.
Angel: Never listening.
Spike: Always interrupting.
Angel: And your hair. What color do they call that? Radioactive?
Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil.
Angel: Cared for you less.
Spike: Fine.
Angel: Good.
[long pause]
Angel: There was one thing about you.
Spike: Really?
Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I-I liked your poems.
Spike: You like Barry Manilow.

Gunn: Got it. The dark soul.
Angel: What's it say?
Gunn: A lot. There are over 3,200 different references. Four of them are about you.
Angel: What? Give me that.
Wes: This is getting us nowhere.
Angel: Let me see this. Well, that's not fair. I didn't even have a soul when I did that.

Angel: I just want you to be careful, Fred, because I know how charming Spike can be.
Eve: He is quite the dish, with those eyes...
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: And the hair and the cheeks and - what do you think I am, stupid? I know he's been playing me with the looks and the smiles. I'm not some idiot school girl with a crush.

Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I'm trying to do something that's never been done before. So, yeah, attempting to recorporealize Spike is gonna cost.
Angel: Whoa! Trying to do what?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Make Spike corporeal again, like you asked.
Angel: Uh, no, what I asked for was: for you to try to find a way to get Spike out of Wolfram & Hart.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Angel, we accepted the offer to take over the L.A. branch of an evil, multi-dimensional law firm because we thought we could make a difference. Use the resources of Wolfram & Hart to do something decent.
Angel: And how does that have anything to do with Spike?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: He just saved the world!. Vampire with a soul, fighting for the good of humanity. Ring anything? He's just like you, a champion.
Angel: God, I really hate that word.

"Angel: Time Bomb (#5.19)" (2004)
Spike: So what sort of damage are we lookin' at if Illyria Chernobyls on us?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Conservative guess, several city blocks.
Angel: And what about unconservative?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Rand and McNally will have to redraw their maps.

Charles Gunn: I turned him down. Not into making deals. Not anymore.
Angel: Well, that's gonna make it tough to be a lawyer.

Angel: Illyria's blown all her gaskets, man. She's outta her mind!
Spike: How can you tell? Yesterday she spent two hours mind-melding with a potted fern.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm not in love with this thing, Angel. But for some reason, I need it right now.
Angel: Yeah, that's just weird.

"Angel: The House Always Wins (#4.3)" (2002)
Angel: I know you're there. Watching me.
Cordelia: Oh, my God! Angel, you can hear me? I so love you! You don't know what it's been like.
Fred: We weren't spying.
Cordelia: Oh, for crap's sake.

Charles Gunn: No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he's a demon.
Fred: They must think it's all makeup like the Blue Man Group. You don't think the Blue Man Group...
Angel: Only two of 'em.

Angel: This place was so much friendlier when the mob ran it...

Angel: It's like I told Sammy Davis at the Sands. When you, Frank, and Dean are the meal, you don't need the trimmings.
Charles Gunn: Hold up. You knew the Rat Pack?
Angel: Know 'em? No. I met 'em once. Twice. For drinks. Maybe it was three times. Hey, you know, I did have a life before you guys came along.

"Angel: Power Play (#5.21)" (2004)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Cordelia gave you her visions?
Angel: It was only a one-shot deal. The vision didn't hit me until later that night. I knew then about the Black Thorn and who was behind the Apocalypse, but I couldn't see their faces. I was aware of where the power was, but didn't know who. Then Fred died and I didn't want that to be another awful thing in an awful world so I decided to use it... to make her death matter. And it worked. I'm in. I've seen the faces of evil in the Black Thorn. I know who the real powers in the Apocalypse are.
Gunn: So, what you said earlier about power...
Angel: I was telling the truth about that. Wolfam & Hart is like a machine. That machine has been around since the dawn of time and it will be around long after our bodies are dust and bones. The Senior Partners and Wolfram & Hart will always exist in one form or another because mankind is weak.
Lorne the Host: Someone might want to hand me the crossbow, 'cause I think he gonna start talking about ants again.
Angel: WE are weak. The powerful control everything... except our will to choose. Lindsey may be a pathetic half-wit, but he was right about one thing. Heroes don't accept the world the way it is. They fight it. The Senior Partners may be eternal, but we can make their existence painful.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You want to take them on? The Senior Partners?
Angel: Why not? Wolfram & Hart is a machine. We're in the machine. The Black Thorn runs it. They are the closest thing to the Senior Partners in this plane of existence. If we wipe out the Black Thorn, we can tip the scales in our favor. Bring Wolfram & Hart's gears and the Apocalypse to a grinding halt, even if it's just for a moment or two.
Spike: About time we got our hands dirty.

Angel: This isn't a "keep fighting the good fight" kind of deal. Let's be clear. I'm talking about killing every... single... member... of the Black Thorn. We don't walk away from that.
Lorne the Host: Do we crawl away at least?
Angel: We do this, the Senior Partners will rain their full wrath. They'll make an example of us. I'm talkin' full-on hell, not the basic fire-and-brimstone kind that we're used to.
Gunn: We know the drill.
Angel: No, you don't! Ten to one, we're gone when the smoke clears. They will do everything in their power to destroy us. So... I need you to be sure. Power endures. We can't bring down the Senior Partners, but for one bright shiny moment we can show them that they don't own us! You need to decide for yourselves if that's worth dying for. I can't order you to do this... but I can't do it without you. So we'll vote... as a team. Think about what I'm asking you to do. Think about what I'm asking you to give.
Spike: [grim tone] Kill 'em all. Burn the house down while we're still in it.
Angel: Something like that.

Angel: You know, an ant with the best intentions or the most diabolical schemes is just exactly an ant.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Business. What "business" are we in, Angel?
Angel: Do I really have to explain this to you people? We're in the business of business. Oil, software, worldwide wickets... the product doesn't matter. It's the game that matters. Get to the top, be the best, have the most, win.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Win what?
Angel: You're still missing the point.
Gunn: That Angel talking? 'cause it sounds a lot more like Angelus.
Angel: If I was Angelus, half of you would already be dead, just for the fun of it.
Spike: One of us already is. Having fun yet?
Angel: You wanna know the truth? The truth is there's only one of us who ever understood how things really work. Lorne
Lorne the Host: Whoa, hey! Can I not be the poster child for you nervous breakdown?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: When She Was Bad (#2.1)" (1997)
Angel: Why are you riding me?
Buffy: Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?

Buffy: Hi.
Angel: Hi.
Buffy: So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?
Angel: I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like.
Buffy: I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from.
Angel: What are you afraid of? Me? Us?
Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living.

Angel: We need you to distract the vampires.
Buffy: Right.
Xander: What are you gonna do?
Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract 'em.

Buffy: [wakes from her nightmare and sees Angel] Hello.
Angel: Mind if I come in?
Buffy: Be my guest.
Angel: How are you?
Buffy: Peachy. So, is this a social call? It is kinda late. Or, well, it is for me, anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour?
Angel: It's not a social call.
Buffy: Ah. So, lemme guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home.
Angel: I'm sorry. I wish I had better news.
Buffy: So, some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu!
Angel: The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why.
Buffy: Guess I'll find out soon enough, huh?
Angel: You don't sound too concerned.
Buffy: I can handle myself. Besides, I could use a little action anyway.
Angel: Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him.
Buffy: Is that it? Is that everything? Y'know, 'cause you woke me up from a really good dream.
[she turns away from him and lies back down]
Angel: Sorry. I'll go.
Angel: I missed you.
Buffy: [turns to the window] I missed you?
[Angel is already gone]

"Angel: The Price (#3.19)" (2002)
The Groosalugg: Angel, you and I have fought side by side on more than one occasion. Fellow warriors, shoulder to shoulder. By now, my council must assuredly hold weight. So I beseech you to heed my words.
Angel: Okay.
The Groosalugg: Pomegranate mist is the wrong color for this room.

Cordelia Chase: You can run away, avoid talking about this, but you know as well as I do that stuff we do in the past usually comes back to bite us in our respective "assi". And what you did...
Angel: Okay! So maybe I wasn't thinking too clearly. I mean, I was drunk for a while. Drunk on my own son's blood, slipped into my food by the good folks at Wolfram and Hart. And my head was a little clouded with rage over a trusted friend stealing my child from me- Damnit Cordelia! You got me talkin' about this.
Cordelia Chase: Probably just needed to vent.

Angel: At least we have one advantage.
Cordelia Chase: What? They glow in the dark? How's that supposed to help us unless we shut off all the lights in the- Holy crap. You're not serious.

The Groosalugg: [discussing paint colors] Or, perhaps this unique one called "Pur-plah".
Angel: Purple. Yet you have no problems pronouncing "pomegranate".
The Groosalugg: It was my mother's name.
Angel: What are the odds...

"Angel: Calvary (#4.12)" (2003)
Angelus: How did you survive this long, being so retarded?

Angelus: Try playing up the awe and the reverence a bit. The *great* Angelus.
Lilah Morgan: Great, being locked in a cage.
Angelus: Yet managing to display better grooming habits than you. Look at yourself, Lilah. Hmm? All these years wanting to meet me. Couldn't run a comb through your hair? Maybe slap on a little lipstick? Evil doesn't have to mean sloppy.

Angelus: What happened to pedestrians, huh? Human pedestrians? Is there no fast food left in Los Angeles?

[hearing Gunn and Fred argue]
Angelus: I bet you Wes would never hit her. He's all proper and English. And that accent... ooh, chicks just love a good accent. Makes them all buttery in their nether regions. Isn't that right, Fred? You know, I had a bit of an Irish brogue back in the day. If you like, I can use it on you when I rape you to death.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Surprise (#2.13)" (1998)
Angel: Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?
Buffy: I dreamt... I dreamt that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas.
Angel: See my point?

Angel: You still haven't told me what you wanted for your birthday.
Buffy: Surprise me.
Angel: Okay. I will.
Buffy: This is nice. I like seeing you first thing in the morning.
Angel: It's bedtime for me.
Buffy: Well, then I like seeing you at bedtime. Um... Um, heh... Y-you know what I mean.
Angel: I think so. What do you mean?
Buffy: I like seeing you. The part at the end of the night where we say goodbye... It's getting harder.
Angel: Yeah. It is.

[Angel gives Buffy a ring]
Angel: My people - before I was changed - they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a Claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship; the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this.

Angel: Leave her alone!
Spike: Yeah, that'll work. Now say, "Pretty please."

"Angel: Loyalty (#3.15)" (2002)
Gunn: [looking at a delivery Angel just recieved] Some kind of boomerang vamp-stake?
Angel: No, they're itty-bitty hockey sticks!

[Gunn is playing with the tiny hockey sticks that Angel bought for his baby son, Connor]
Angel: You know, hockey's a great sport.
Gunn: You realize this is the whitest sport known to man?
Angel: True. But the games are indoors, and they usually play at night.
Gunn: Got you.

Angel: Check me out. I'm "Mr. Dad"!

Gunn: [Angel has just received a package in the mail] I want to know how he does it. No last name. No bank account. How you ordering stuff off the web?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: It's not that hard, really. All you gotta do is hack into the shipping database, find someone who's ordering what you want and the substitute your information.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: E-except that would just be high-tech robbery.
Angel: I memorized Cordelia's credit card number.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: [brightly] Oh! Low-tech robbery!

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Harvest (#1.2)" (1997)
Angel: She did it! I'll be damned!

Angel: Don't... go down there.
Buffy Summers: Deal with my going.
Angel: You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk. Tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks.
Buffy Summers: Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suckfest why don't you stop it?
Angel: 'Cause I'm afraid.

Buffy Summers: Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this cryptic wise man act on a regular basis, can you at least tell me your name?
Angel: Angel.
Buffy Summers: Angel. It's a pretty name.

Angel: They'll be expecting you.
Buffy Summers: I've got a friend down there, or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend?
[Angel lowers his eyes]
Buffy Summers: That wasn't supposed to be a stumper.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Doppelgangland (#3.16)" (1999)
Willow: [Giles, Willow, Xander and Buffy in the library discussing vamp Willow] This is creepy. I don't like the thought that there's a vampire out there that looks like me.
Xander: Not looks like... is.
Buffy: It was exactly you, Will, every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix... as far as we know.
Willow: Oh, right. Me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night.
Xander: Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?
Buffy: Oh, yeah.
[Giles raises his hand]
Angel: [rushing in] Buffy, I... Something's happened that... Willow's dead.
[no-one looks surprised]
Angel: [Angel sees Willow] Hey, Willow.
[takes another look at her]
Angel: Wait a second.
Xander: We're right there with you, buddy.
Buffy: We saw her too, at the Bronze.
Angel: Okay. Uh, she's there now with a cadre of vampires looking to party.
Buffy: We can figure out who she is after we stop the feeding frenzy.

[the gang looks at the vampire version of Willow from an alternate reality]
Giles: It's extraordinary.
Willow: It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil, and skanky... and I think I'm kinda gay.
Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.
Angel: Well, actually...
[pauses as Willow and Buffy look at him]
Angel: That's a good point.

Alfonse: All right. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave, and nobody gets hurt.
Angel: Why don't I believe him?
Oz: Well, he lacks credibility.

Oz: Can you get outta here?
Angel: Skylight in the roof. I can make it.
Oz: I think we need some backup.
Angel: I think I'm needed here.
Oz: Ten to one. Could get pointless.

"Angel: To Shanshu in L.A. (#1.22)" (2000)
Angel: Cordelia, I'm gonna fix this. Promise. I'm gonna get you back. I need you back.

Detective Kate Lockley: Never a dull moment when you're around, is there?
Angel: I have to go.
Detective Kate Lockley: Who in the hell do you think you are? You're a major witness at a major crime scene; you're not going anywhere.
Angel: You want to try and stop me, Kate?
Detective Kate Lockley: I'm glad we are not playing friends anymore. I am real sick and tired of your attitude. There's a little thing called the law...
Angel: This isn't about the law, this is about a little thing called life. Now I'm sorry about your father. But I didn't kill your father. And I'm sick and tired of you blaming me for everything you can't handle! You want to be enemies? Try me.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel, I hope I'm wrong about all this, but it might be a good time to consult the Oracles.
Angel: I don't need to see the Oracles about this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, think about it.
Cordelia: [encouragingly] Oracles... Get out of the house... Could be fun.
[Cut to the chamber of the Oracles]
Female Oracle: How dare you enter this sacred space?
Male Oracle: Who do you think you are?
Female Oracle: We do not appreciate being summoned by a lower being.
Male Oracle: Who knows no better than to come here on a whim.
Vocah Demon: I'm not here on a whim.
Female Oracle: We do not counsel your kind. The powers of darkness are not allowed to cross this threshold. How did you get past it?
Vocah Demon: The old order passes away and the new order's come. He that was first shall now be last and he that was dead shall now arise.
Female Oracle: Yes, and he that is trespassing shall now depart.
[Vocah puts a hand behind his back]
Male Oracle: We shall speak no more.
[a battle scythe grows in Vocah's hand]
Vocah Demon: Yes, I know.

"Angel: Blind Date (#1.21)" (2000)
Charles Gunn: Give me one good reason.
Angel: It'll be extremely dangerous.
Charles Gunn: Okay.

Lindsey McDonald: I get myself killed, that'll convince you I've changed?
Angel: It's a start.

Angel: She murdered a man right in front of me and I can't even testify to that fact in a court of law.
Cordelia: Well, maybe in night court you could...

"Angel: Long Day's Journey (#4.9)" (2003)
Angel: Good news is we discovered the Beast's plan.
Gunn: Which is?
Manny: To blot out the sun for all of eternity. You guys got a john?

Angel: Look, enough. Let's just focus on the guy tryin' to blot out the sun. We'll point fingers later.

[the Beast has revealed that he once met Angelus]
Angel: I'm telling you, I don't know this Beast!
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, but Angelus does.

"Angel: Hero (#1.9)" (1999)
Allen Francis Doyle: There's got to be another way.
Angel: It's all right.
Cordelia: No!
Allen Francis Doyle: The good fight, yeah? You never know until you've been tested. I get that now.
[Doyle punches Angel off of the balcony and turns to kiss Cordelia]
Allen Francis Doyle: Too bad we'll never know...
[changes to his demon face]
Allen Francis Doyle: ...if this is a face you could learn to love.
Angel: Doyle. Doyle. Doyle! Doyle! No!
[Doyle jumps onto machine]
Angel: [shouting] Doyle! No!
Allen Francis Doyle: AAGGGHHHHH!
[burns up from the machine and dies]

Angel: I feel something coming, Doyle, I don't know what. But I know we're a part of it.
Allen Francis Doyle: Well, if it's a fight they want... can't someone else give it to 'em? Just seems unfair, you know? You gotta save all the helpless-types around here, and now you gotta fight the Apocalypse as well?
Angel: It's all the same thing. Fight the good fight, whichever way you can.
Allen Francis Doyle: Tell you what, you fight, and I'll keep score.

Allen Francis Doyle: Human? You were a real live flesh-and-blood human being and you and Buffy- You had the one thing you wanted in your unnaturally long life... and give it back?
Angel: Maybe I was wrong
Allen Francis Doyle: Or maybe Cordelia was right, about you being the real deal in the hero department. See, I would have chosen the pleasures of the flesh over duty and honor any day of the week. I just don't have that strength
Angel: You never know your strength till you're tested

"Angel: Harm's Way (#5.9)" (2004)
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: My lab managed that upgrade to the weapons scanner like you requested.
Angel: Fool proof?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: I'd say yes, but then some fool would just come along and sneak something past us.

Spike: [turns to leave] Yeah. Here's the thing. Could use a little walkin'-around money. How 'bout a few hundred?
Angel: How 'bout no?
Spike: Typical, you cheap sod. Right, then. Settle for some wheels.
Angel: If it's gonna get you out of here faster, fine. Just not the Viper.
Spike: Viper it is, then.

Spike: Anything you want me to tell Buffy?
Angel: Yeah... Tell her you're a moron.

"Angel: Salvage (#4.13)" (2003)
[after killing the Beast]
Angelus: Aw, crap! You mean killing the Beast really does bring back the sun? I thought that was Angel's retarded fantasy.

[after overhearing a Slayer is in town]
Angelus: [on the phone, pretending to be Angel] Hi, Dawn.
Angelus: Yeah, it's me. Is your sister home? She is?
[hangs up]
Angelus: [irritated] It's the other one.

Angelus: But hey, I'm no different than the next guy. I put my victims' skin on one leg at a time.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: What's My Line?: Part 1 (#2.9)" (1997)
Angel: I lurk.

Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Angel: [examing the defeated Octarus's ring] You're in danger. You know what the ring means?
Buffy: I just killed a Super Bowl champ?

"Angel: Soulless (#4.11)" (2003)
Angelus: Doin' your mom and tryin' to kill your dad. Hmm. There should be a play.

Angelus: [to Connor] And now my boy's in love, all hearts and flowers. But, doesn't it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned is the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doin' your mom and tryin' to kill your dad. Hmm, there should be a play.

Angelus: Buttering me up, getting me all relaxed. Not the most innovative interrogation technique... but, okay, I'll play.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Is it a game?
Angelus: Hey, open book. Anything you want to know. How sweet that virgin gypsy tasted? Special smell of a newborn's neck? My first nun. Now *that's* a great story.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: School Hard (#2.3)" (1997)
Spike: You think you can fool me? You were my sire, man. You were my... Yoda.
Angel: Things change.
Spike: Not us. Not demons. Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom.

Buffy Summers: We were at The Bronze before. Thought you said you might show?
Angel: You said you weren't sure if you were going.
Buffy Summers: I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?
Willow Rosenberg: Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year that's still like four-hundred dates with four-hundred different...
[Buffy looks at her and she looks at a weapon on the table]
Willow Rosenberg: Why do they call it a mace?

Xander Harris: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander Harris: A-and if he bit me, what then?
Angel: We would've known he bought it.

"Angel: Sleep Tight (#3.16)" (2002)
Angel: You look like hell. And not the fun one where they burn you with hot pokers for all eternity, but, the hard-core one - you know, Nixon and Brittany Spears.

Angel: How did the Flying Nun fly? I mean, was it God or magic?

Lilah Morgan: How'd you find me?
Angel: Your assistant.
Lilah Morgan: I'll have his arms broken.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Lovers Walk (#3.8)" (1998)
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fightin' to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Angel: Hey. I was wondering when you were coming.
Buffy: I'm not coming back. We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore. So I'm gonna go.
Angel: I don't accept that.
Buffy: You have to.
Angel: How can... There's gotta be some way we can still see each other.
Buffy: There is: Tell me that you don't love me.

Angel: [to Spike about Joyce] You touch her, and I'll cut your head off!
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
[Buffy comes up behind him]
Buffy: That would be me.
[She knocks Spike onto his back on the island and keeps him pinned there by the throat]
Buffy: Angel, why don't you come on in?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: End of Days (#7.21)" (2003)
Angel: [to Caleb] You are so gonna lose.

Angel: [Watching Buffy fight Caleb] God I miss watching this.

Angel: I was never one for preachers.

"Angel: Tomorrow (#3.22)" (2002)
Angel: He's gonna need clothes, weekly allowance. What's good nowadays? Fifty cents? A dollar?
Cordelia: Yeah, if you're Tom Sawyer paintin' a fence.
Angel: See, I'm so outta touch. He's gonna hate me.
Cordelia: No, he's not. He's gonna love you.
Angel: How do you know?
Cordelia: Because you're you.
Angel: Me. A vampire.
Cordelia: You, a vampire.
Angel: Who drinks blood, keeps to the shadows, and is older than everybody he knows put together.
Cordelia: You're all those things, plus tight with a buck. But none of that matters.
Angel: Why not?
Cordelia: Because you have the biggest and best heart of anyone I've ever known. He's a smart kid. He'll figure it out.

Angel: I found Holtz.
Cordelia: And?
Angel: I didn't kill him.
Cordelia: Maybe you're growing as a person.

Cordelia: I'm not telling your sixteen-year-old boy that.
Angel: Well, someone's gotta make sure he knows the facts of life. My track record with the whole man/woman thing isn't, you know, I don't wanna use the words tragic farce...

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Reptile Boy (#2.5)" (1997)
Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're 16 years old, I'm 241.
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.
Buffy: Oh, no, I-I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's gonna lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
[Angel grabs her and pulls her close, and she gasps]
Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you... you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No... when you kiss me, I wanna die.

[Angel is walking up to the table from behind Xander]
Xander Harris: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak?
[Angel reaches Xander's side; nonchalantly]
Xander Harris: Hey, man, how ya doin'?
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Xander Harris: Xander.
Angel: I hear this place, uh, serves coffee. I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.
Buffy: Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.

Giles: She lied to me?
Willow Rosenberg: Well...
Angel: Did... she have a date?
Willow Rosenberg: Well...
[Angel huffs]
Willow Rosenberg: Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off.
[to Giles]
Willow Rosenberg: And you never let her do anything except work and patrol. And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure. I mean, she's sixteen going on forty.
[to Angel]
Willow Rosenberg: And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever. You don't have time for a cup of coffee?
Willow Rosenberg: Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.

"Angel: She (#1.13)" (2000)
Angel: [about cell phones] These things were definitely cooked up by a bored warlock.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Perhaps we need a plan.
Angel: Here's the plan. We go in, I start hittin' people hard in the face. See where it takes us.

Angel: I hate this cell phone you guys got me.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Earshot (#3.18)" (1999)
Angel: Buffy, careful with this gift. Lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like, say, immortality?
Angel: Hm, exactly. I'm dyin' to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: I'm a funny guy.

Angel: You can't get into my mind.
Buffy: How did you...
[brief pause]
Buffy: Why not?
Angel: It's like the mirror. The thoughts are there, but they create no reflection in you.

"Angel: The Ring (#1.16)" (2000)
Lilah Morgan: I prefer to think of it as picking the battles you can win. There's not one reason why we can't work together.
Angel: You're right... there are about a thousand.

Lilah Morgan: How do you feel?
Angel: Like I was hit by lightning after the truck ran me over.

"Angel: Habeas Corpses (#4.8)" (2003)
Angel: You know where it is. The beast.
Wes: Inside Wolfram and Hart. And so is...
Charles Gunn: Well that answers a lot of questions. They're probably havin' a big sit-down, breakin' bread.
Wes: It's killing everything that moves in there.
Charles Gunn: I've heard worse news.

Angel: It's a zombie.
Connor: What's a zombie?
Angel: It's an undead thing.
Connor: Like you?
Angel: No. Zombies are slow moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh.
Connor: Like you.
Angel: No. It's different, trust me.

"Angel: Lineage (#5.7)" (2003)
Angel: [to Wesley] What happened?
Spike: [stepping in front of Wesley] I can explain. Apparently when Percy here was younger he used to be known as Head Boy.
Angel: Yeah, I already knew that.
Spike: Right. I have nothing else to report.

Angel: [trying to comfort Wes after he had to shoot a robot he though was his father] You know... I killed my actual dad. It was one of the first things I did when I became a vampire.
Wesley: I hardly see how that's the same situation.
Angel: Yeah. I didn't really think that one through.
[moments later; Spike appears]
Spike: Don't know if you know this, but, uh, I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, and then she tried to shag me, so I had to, uh...
Wesley: [looks freaked out] Thank you. I'm... very comforted. Right.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Out of Mind, Out of Sight (#1.11)" (1997)
Angel: Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there. It's an overrated pleasure.

Angel: Don't worry. I'm not here to eat.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Graduation Day: Part 1 (#3.21)" (1999)
Angel: Are you mad at me for being around too much or for not being around enough?
Buffy: Duh, yes.
Angel: Which?
Buffy: What?
Angel: I don't get you.
Buffy: No, you don't. Not any more.
Angel: Are you just making this harder to make this easier on yourself?
Buffy: Can we stop with the brainteasers? I just wish it was over. Done.
Angel: Huh. It's not that simple. Once the mayor...
Buffy: I know. World in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.
Angel: You want me out of your face?
[throws down the box of books and starts to walk away]
Buffy: Isn't it a little hard for you?
Angel: How can you ask me that? Just 'cause I'm not acting like a brat doesn't mean I don't feel anything.
Buffy: It's nice to know what you think of me.
Angel: What do you expect me to say when you just attack?
Buffy: I just can't do this any more. I can't have you in my life when I'm trying to move o...
[Angel gets shot and they both fall to the ground]
Buffy: Angel!

Buffy: Okay, ready?
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy: On 3. 1...
[pulls out arrow]
Angel: Ahh. I knew you were gonna do that.
Giles: Not too much blood here.
Angel: I heal pretty fast. I should be all right.
Buffy: I'm just glad Faith's such a suck shot.
Giles: We're sure it was her?
Buffy: Well, I've narrowed down my list of one suspect.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Fascinating.
Giles: What?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It seems our Mr. Worth headed an expedition in Kauai, digging through old lava beds near a dormant volcano.
Buffy: I'm not fascinated yet.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: He found something underneath. A carcass, buried by an eruption.
Giles: A carcass?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A very large one. Mr. Worth posits that it might be some heretofore undiscovered dinosaur.
Angel: A demon?
Giles: Well, yes, that would be something that the-the mayor would want to keep a secret. If it's the same kind of demon he's turning into and it's dead, then it means that... well, he's only impervious to harm until the Ascension. In its demon form, it can be killed.
Buffy: Great. So all we need is a million tons of burning lava. We're saved.
Angel: Well, it's a start anyway...
[he tries to stand up]
Buffy: Ok, you have been a real klutz today. You need to...
Angel: Damn.
[he falls to the ground]

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Go Fish (#2.20)" (1998)
Gage Petronzi: That stupid bitch.
Angelus: You have got to be talking about Buffy.
Gage Petronzi: How did you know?
Angelus: She + I had this... thing once, biggest mistake of my life.
Gage Petronzi: Yeah, my condolences dude.
Angelus: Shes a real head tripper.
Gage Petronzi: Tell me about it, girl acts like shes gods gift or something.
Angelus: Who is she, The Chosen One?
Gage Petronzi: Exactly.
Angelus: What she really needs is for someone to knock her down off her notches.
Gage Petronzi: That would be sweet. Anybody in mind?
Angelus: You in luck my friend...
[Gage looks behind him Angel isn't there, then he looks in front of him]
Angelus: Just so happens I'm a crotty.
Buffy, Gage Petronzi: [Gage starts screaming for help because Angelus is biting him and Buffy comes out of the Bronze]
Gage Petronzi: Ahhh... Buffy help!
[Angel spits out Gage's blood]
Angelus: Ahh... Miss Summers you look beautiful.
[Angel throws Gage at Buffy and he runs off and they get up]
Gage Petronzi: Was that the thing that killed Cameron?
Buffy: No, that was something else.
Gage Petronzi: Something else?
Buffy: Yeah we have a lot of something elses in this town. Good night.
[Walks away]
Gage Petronzi: Hey...
[runs up to Buffy]
Gage Petronzi: Walk me home?

Gage Petronzi: What a psycho bitch, man.
Angelus: [Angelus comes out from behind a pile of crates] Gotta be talking about Buffy.
Gage Petronzi: [stops and faces him] How'd you know?
Angelus: Uh, she and I... had this thing once. Biggest mistake of my life.
Gage Petronzi: Yeah. My condolences, dude.
[turns and goes]
Angelus: [follows] She's a real head-tripper.
Gage Petronzi: Tell me about it. Girl acts like she's God's gift or something.
Angelus: Who is she? The Chosen One?
Gage Petronzi: Exactly.
Angelus: You know, what she really needs is for someone to really knock her down off her notches.
Gage Petronzi: Yeah, that'd be sweet. Anyone in mind?
Angelus: You're in luck, my friend.
[Gage turns to look at Angelus and sees that he has disappeared]
Angelus: Just so happens...
[Gage turns back quickly and sees Angelus standing there in front of him in his game face]
Angelus: ... I'm recruiting.
[Gage looks horrified as Angelus grabs him and bites his neck]
Gage Petronzi: No!
[Buffy strolls out of the Bronze and hears Gage's screams]
Gage Petronzi: Ah! Somebody! Help! Ah! Help! Ah! Ah! Get him off me! Help! Ah!
[She rushes to his aid. Cut to Angelus. He drops Gage and begins to spit out his blood. He wipes his mouth and spits some more. Buffy comes running around the corner, and just as he looks up she does a roundhouse kick to his face. He isn't fazed, and just looks at her. She pulls out the stick holding her hair up and holds it ready to stake him as her hair falls down around her face]
Angelus: Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful!
[He quickly bends down, picks Gage up and throws him at her, knocking her to the pavement. He spits a few more times and leaves smiling]
Gage Petronzi: [Buffy scrambles to her feet and watches him go. Gage gets up also and rubs his neck] Oh. Was that the thing that killed Cameron?
Buffy: No. That was something else.
Gage Petronzi: [confused] S-something else?
Buffy: Yeah. Unfortunately, we have a lot of something elses in this town. Good night.
Buffy: [Gage looks back and forth between Buffy and the direction Angelus went]
Gage Petronzi: Hey!
[Buffy stops and looks back at him. He goes over to her]
Gage Petronzi: [laughs nervously] Walk me home?
[She motions for him to follow, and they leave]

"Angel: Peace Out (#4.21)" (2003)
Angel: Go to Hell.
Jasmine: You first, baby.

Jasmine: And look where free will has gotten you.
Angel: Hey, I didn't say we were smart. I said it's our right. It's what makes us human.
Jasmine: But you're not human.
Angel: Working on it.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Helpless (#3.12)" (1999)
Angel: Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.
Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.
Angel: Oh, a thing. A date?
Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. Likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?

Angel: I saw you before you became the Slayer.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps... and... and I loved you.
Buffy: Why?
Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.
Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.
Angel: I was just thinking that, too.

"Angel: Sacrifice (#4.20)" (2003)
[the refugees fleeing from Jasmine - Angel, Fred, Wesley, Gunn and Lorne - are listening to a happy, chipper voice on the car radio, a cheerful report that the Catholic Church will remove all false idols from its churches and replace them with images of Jasmine]
Lorne: Oh! Talk about media bias. Um, not that I wanna talk about media bias. It seems rather moot right now. And speaking of moot, what about us? You all feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: What are we gonna do? What can we do?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There has to be an answer.
Angel: There has to be a way; we just need time.
Charles Gunn: The hell with that, we need a damned break. The universe don't seem to be handing out breaks to the underdog, lately. No leads, no database, no weapons, no shelter.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: There's very little gas.
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: We should have taken Connor with us. He looks- what if he doesn't wake up?
Angel: What if we took him, and he did?

Charles Gunn: I've never seen so many cruisers.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Technically, we're the only criminals left.
Angel: No way we're drivin' out of this. It's time we disappeared.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Consequences (#3.15)" (1999)
Angel: You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

[about trying to help Faith accept what she's done]
Angel: It's like talking to a wall. Only you get more from a wall.

"Angel: Apocalypse, Nowish (#4.7)" (2002)
Angel: Always wanted to be a prince. I hear you gotta be born into it.
Cordelia: How do you do that?
Angel: What?
Cordelia: Make everything feel like it's not spiraling apart.

Lilah: [about Gavin] Couldn't you have at least tortured him a little bit more?
Angel: Really wanted to, but he wouldn't stop talkin' long enough for me to get into it.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Welcome to the Hellmouth (#1.1)" (1997)
Buffy Summers: What do you want?
Angel: The same thing you do.
Buffy Summers: Okay. What do I want?
Angel: To kill 'em. To kill 'em all.
Buffy Summers: Sorry, that's incorrect. But, you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of turtle wax. What I want is to be left alone.

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say, I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (#2.16)" (1998)
[Angel puts a human heart in front of Drusilla]
Angelus: Happy Valentine's Day, Dru.
Drusilla: Oh, Angel. It's still warm.
Angelus: I knew you'd like it. I found it in a quaint little shop girl.

Angelus: Dear Buffy. Hm. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.
Angelus: Lacks... poetry.
Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Wish (#3.9)" (1998)
Angel: The Master rose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hopin' maybe you'd come. My destiny...
Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the second coming.

Angel: What's the plan?
Buffy: [holding a stake] Don't fall on this.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Choices (#3.19)" (1999)
[the Mayor has told Buffy and Angel that they could never last]
Buffy Summers: How could he know anything about us?
Angel: Yeah, well, he's evil.
Buffy Summers: Big time. He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is.
Angel: No.
Buffy Summers: Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had is... with... evil.
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy Summers: Big, stupid, evil guy. We'll be okay.
Angel: We will.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Ted (#2.11)" (1997)
[Cut to Angel's apartment. Buffy is replacing the bandage on his right hand while he lies in his comfy chair]
Buffy: So mom's like, 'Do you think Ted will like this?' and 'This is Ted's favorite show,' and 'Ted's teaching me computers,' and 'Ted said the funniest thing,' and I'm like, 'That's really great, Mom,' and then she said I was being sarcastic, which I was, but I'm sorry if I don't wanna talk about Ted all the time.
Angel: [looks up at her] So, you gonna talk about something else at some point?
Buffy: I'm sorry. I just have so much to deal with, I don't need some new guy in my life.
Buffy, Angel: [She's finished wrapping the bandage and Angel hands her a piece of tape]
Angel: No, but maybe your mom does.
[Buffy takes the tape and puts it on the bandage]
Buffy: Well, sure, if you're gonna use wisdom.
Angel: [chuckles] Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is.
Buffy: Okay, so my mom needs a guy in her life. Does it have to be Ted?
Angel: Do you have somebody else in mind? There's a guy out there that would satisfy you?
Buffy: My dad?
[Angel looks at her]
Buffy: Yeah, okay, that's not gonna happen. Fine, fine, I'll give Ted a chance. I'll play mini-golf, and I'll smile and curtsy and be the dutiful daughter. Do I have to like him?
Angel: [smiles] Kiss me.
Buffy: [smiles] Finally, something I wanna do!
[She leans over him and kisses him lightly on the lips. She gets in his lap and they kiss more passionately]

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Halloween (#2.6)" (1997)
Buffy Summers: Tada. Just little old 20th-century me.
Angel: Sure you're okay?
Buffy Summers: I'll live.
Angel: I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?
Buffy Summers: I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.
Angel: Oh, ho.
Buffy Summers: What?
Angel: I hated the girls back then, especially the noble women.
Buffy Summers: You did?
Angel: They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone... exciting. Interesting.
Buffy Summers: Really? Interesting how?
Angel: You know how.
Buffy Summers: Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.
Angel: You're right. I should.
Buffy Summers: Definitely.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Killed by Death (#2.18)" (1998)
Angelus: If I decide to walk into Buffy's room do you even believe for a micro-second that you can stop me?
Xander: Maybe not, maybe that security guard couldn't either, or those cops or the orderlies, but I'm kind of curious to find out. You game?
Angelus: Buffy's white knight. You still love her.
[leans toward Xander's ear]
Angelus: It must eat you up that I got there first.
Xander: You're gonna die, and I'm gonna there.
Angelus: Tell her I stopped by.

"Angel: Players (#4.16)" (2003)
Lorne: Speakin' of Pop, don't you think our re-ensouled leader should be a part of this little confab?
Angel: [walks in] Easy-Bake, flop-a-palooza, woosh, pop. I don't sculk.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Bad Eggs (#2.12)" (1998)
Angel: So you don't think about the future?
Buffy Summers: No.
Angel: Never?
Buffy Summers: No.
Angel: You really don't care what happens a year from now? Five years from now?
Buffy Summers: Angel, when I look into the future, all I see is you. All I want is you.
Angel: I know the feeling.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Forever (#5.17)" (2001)
Buffy Summers: [about the funeral] It was brutal. But it's tomorrow that I'm worried about.
Angel: What's tomorrow?
Buffy Summers: That's exactly what I don't know. Up until now, I've had a road map. Things to do every minute, having to do with mom.
Angel: Tomorrow the stuff of everyday living resumes.
Buffy Summers: And everybody expects me to know how to do it, because
Buffy Summers: I'm so strogng.
Angel: You just need some time. I'm sure everybody understands that.
Buffy Summers: Time's not the issue. I can stick wood in vampires, but mom was the strong one in real life. She always knew how to make things better, just what to say.
Angel: Yeah. You'll find your way. I mean, not all at once, but in...
Buffy Summers: [Doubting] I don't know. I keep thinking about it... when I found her. If I had just gotten there ten minutes earlier...
Angel: You said they told you it wouldn't have mad a difference.
Buffy Summers: They said "probably" wouldn't have made a difference. The exact thing they say was "probably". I haven't told that to anyone.
Angel: Doesn't make it your fault. You couldn't have done anything different.
Buffy Summers: [sighing with regret] I didn't even star CPR until they told me. I fell apart. That's how good I am at being a grown-up.
Angel: Buffy...
Buffy Summers: And it'd be ok if it was just me I had to worry about. But Dawn...
Angel: Look, it's ok. I know you don't feel like it now, but you are strong, Buffy. You're gonna figure this out. And you have people to help you. You don't have to do this alone.
Buffy Summers: It's gonna be light soon...
Angel: I can stay in town as long as you want me.
Buffy Summers: How's forever? Does forever work for you?
[They looked]
Buffy Summers: That's a bad idea. I'm seriously needy right now.
Angel: Let me worry about the neediness. I can handle it.
[They started to kiss. With more passion and love each second. The kiss stopped]
Buffy Summers: [They both know it has to stop] I told you. You'd better go.
Angel: I'm sorry.
Buffy Summers: No. I'm so grateful that you came, Angel. I didn't think I was gonna be able to make it trough the night.
Angel: Well, we still have a few more minutes before I have to go.
Buffy Summers: Good.
[She leans on his chest]
Buffy Summers: Good.

"Angel: Shiny Happy People (#4.18)" (2003)
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: Eight legs, three heads, horns?
Lorne: Hey!
Winifred 'Fred' Burkle: No offense.
Connor: Two legs, one head, no horns.
Lorne: Let me guess, green?
Angel: No. Kind of... mocha.

"Angel: Provider (#3.12)" (2002)
Lorne: They apologize for their paltry offering and hope you'll accept...
Lorne: Fifty thousand dollars?
Angel: Fifty...
Cordelia Chase: Thousand...
Winifred "Fred" Burkle: Dollars?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Gingerbread (#3.11)" (1999)
Buffy: Like the kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck.
Angel: Dyke... it's another word for dam.
Buffy: Oh, okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.
Angel: Buffy, you know, I'm still figuring things out. There's a lot I don't understand. But I do know it's important to keep fighting. I learned that from you.
Buffy: But we never...
Angel: We never win.
Buffy: Not completely.
Angel: We never will. That's not why we fight. We do it 'cause there's things worth fighting for: those kids, their parents...
Buffy: Their parents.
Angel: Look, I know it's not much.
Buffy: No, no, it's a lot.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Revelations (#3.7)" (1998)
Buffy: I'm gonna try and vent a little hormonal angst by going out there and killing a Lagos, whatever that is.
Angel: Lagos?
Buffy: Some demon looking for some all-powerful thingimibob and I gotta stop him before he unleashes unholy havoc, and it's another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (#1.5)" (1997)
Angel: I was hopin' I'd find you here.
Buffy: You were?
Angel: Some serious stuff happening tonight. You need to be out there.
Buffy: No, not you too.
Angel: What do you know?
Buffy: Prophecy, Anointed One, yada, yada, yada.
Angel: So you know. Fine. I just thought I'd warn you.
Buffy: Warn me? You see that guy over there at the bar? He came here to be with me.
Angel: You're here on a date?
Buffy: Yes. Why is it such a shock to everyone?

"Angel: Home (#4.22)" (2003)
Angel: I really do love you, Connor.
Connor: So what are you going to do about it?
Angel: Prove it.
[slashes Connor's throat]

"Angel: Couplet (#3.14)" (2002)
Angel: Just tell me what I can do.
Cordelia Chase: I need you to help me have sex. With Groo.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Dark Age (#2.8)" (1997)
Buffy: [to Willow] You knew that if the demon was in trouble it was gonna jump into the nearest dead person.
Angel: I put it in danger.
Willow: And it jumped.
Angel: But I've had a demon inside me for a couple hundred years just waiting for a good fight.
Buffy: Winner and still champion!

"Angel: Double or Nothing (#3.18)" (2002)
Cordelia: The truth is, if you lived another 200 years, you'd never forget how Connor was taken from you. And you shouldn't. You loved your son, Angel. And you'll go on loving him and missing him. You'll go on living, too. You'll do that.
Angel: I don't know how.
Cordelia: You don't need to. The how works itself out. Life will just keep on happening. There'll be people who need us, and so we'll help them. 'Cause that's what we do.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Teacher's Pet (#1.4)" (1997)
Angel: [about Claw] Don't give him a moment's mercy, he'll rip your throat out.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Yoko Factor (#4.20)" (2000)
Buffy: Angel.
Angel: Hi. Can I come in?
Buffy: I guess.
Angel: Uh, I need a little more than that.
Buffy: Oh. Um. Come in.