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: I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right? Buffy
: Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me.
: They were talking about me, just like everybody is. Xander
: Again, not so much. In fact, none. Anya
: We were talking about sex. I mean, you know us, sometimes we like to pretend stuff... Joyce
: Um... Xander
: Anya. Anya
: You know, like, say there's a fireman, or a shepherd... Buffy
: You know what? Let's not have this exchange of images right now.
: Are you okay? Did she hurt you? Dawn
: Why do you care? Buffy
: Because I love you. You're my sister. Dawn
: No I'm not. Buffy
: Yes you are. Look, it's blood. It's Summers blood. It's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or-or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
: Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm and safe where nothing can eat you? Dawn
: Is that supposed to scare me? Spike
: Little tremble wouldn't hurt. Dawn
: Sorry, it's just - Come on, I'm badder than you. Spike
: Are not. Dawn
: Am too. You're standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm... Spike
: What? sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates?
: I smell a fox in my hen house. Is that why you've been playing sugar and spice with Uncle Ben? Trying to get a peek at Glory's unmentionables? Dawn
: No, I... Glory
: Shh! I kinda wanna hear me talking right now! Me talking! You know what I'm startin' to think? I'm thinking... that maybe you... don't have any idea where my key is!
: Can I help? Willow Rosenberg
: Well, I don't think Buffy would like the, uh, black arts bumping auras with the littlest Summers.
: How was school today? Dawn
: Um, the usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair. Buffy
: Just how I remember it.
: [as the gang gets all sad and emotional about Dawn's present to Buffy
] Well, jeez, don't get all movie-of-the-week. I was just too cheap to buy you a real present.
: Magic shop, eh? All number of beasties between here and there. Bet they'd really go for a Little Red Riding Hood like you. That wouldn't set too well with big sister. Dawn
: I can take care of myself.
: You wanna come steal some stuff? Spike
: Yeah, all right.
: [Dawn appears in the living room, dazed, with her arms outstretched and covered in blood
] Is this blood? Buffy
: Dawn! Joyce
: Oh, baby! Buffy
: What did you do? Dawn
: This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a key. I'm not a thing Joyce
: Oh, Sweetie, no. Wha-what is this all about? Dawn
: What am I?
[starting to cry
: Am I real? Am I anything?
: Lurk much? Spike
: I wasn't lurkin'. I was standin' about. It's a whole different vibe.
: Two steaming cups of chocolate goodness courtesy of whoever I swiped it from out of the cupboard. Couldn't find any marshmallows. I'll try to steal some for next time. Dawn
: Don't like 'em anyway. Ben
: What? Is that even possible? Dawn
: Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains, and...
: So, you don't have a name? Buffy
: Of course I do. I-I just don't happen to know it. Dawn
: You want me to name you? Buffy
: Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... Joan. Dawn
: Ugh. Buffy
: What? Did you just 'ugh' my name? Dawn
: No. I just - I mean it's so 'blah.' Joan? Buffy
: I like it. I feel like a Joan.
: How you doin', Dawn? Dawn
: Uh, I'm okay. It's scary... but, weirdly, kind of familiar. Willow Rosenberg
: I know what you mean. Dawn
: How are you? Willow Rosenberg
: A little confused. I mean, I'm, uh, all sweaty and trapped, no memory, hiding in a pipe from a vampire... and I think I'm kinda gay.
: Here, look.
[points to Dawn's necklace
: You're Dawn. Dawn
: [looks down
] Or 'Umad'.
: What kind of oogly-boogleys? Lizardy types, or um, zombies, or, or vampires, or what? Giles
: There are no oogly-boogleys, Dawn.
: Well, maybe we all got... terribly drunk and this is some sort of, uh, blackout. Dawn
] I don't think I drink. Anya
: I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps.
: I don't see Allen Funt.
: Did you guys see that? Spike
: Vampires! Tara Maclay
] Maybe it's Halloween. Dawn
: It doesn't feel like Halloween. Xander Harris
: Even if it is, those guys are definitely not kids, and those are definitely not costumes. Randy's right. Looks like we have vampires.
: [a vampire attacks Spike
] Hey! Stay away from Randy!
[She stakes the vampire and he dusts. The Scoobies and Buffy watch in complete wide-eyed amazement
: Whoa! Willow Rosenberg
: What did you just do? Buffy
: Uh... I... I don't know.
: But it was COOL!
: So, I took a look inside that emergency bag of Principal Wood's. Buffy Summers
: And? Dawn Summers
: Smelled weird. Kinda like Grandma's closet, but worse. Buffy Summers
: I didn't know that was possible.
: Do you know that ancient Sumerians do not speak English? Buffy Summers
: They're worse than the French.
: Willow, how would you get Buffy back? Willow
: That's what I'm saying. I don't even know. Dawn Summers
: Okay, but if another witch was to do it, where would she start? Willow
: Uh, physics, principles, basic laws... Dawn Summers
: Such as? Willow
: Uh, conservation of energies. You can't really create or destroy anything, just transfer.
] Dawn Summers
: I'm sorry, are you helping? Anya
: No. But at least I'm not galloping off in the wrong direction. Willow
: Magic works off physics. Anya
: Not without a catalyst. If you're talking about transferring energies, you need some kind of conduit.
: Don't you have any real homework? Dawn Summers
: Oh, you mean, like, schoolwork? Buffy Summers
: Yes. Dawn Summers
: Well, I've got a system. It's called flunking out. No, just kidding. I'm paying someone to do my work. I'm kidding! I love to see your eyeballs change color when you think I'm gonna flunk out of sc...
: Dawn, get the Potentials upstairs and break out that emergency kit. Dawn Summers
: What are you going to do? Buffy Summers
: I'm declaring an emergency.
: These things are shadow-casters. You put them in motion, and they tell you a story.
[references the book
] Dawn Summers
: It says you can't just watch, you have to see. Anya
: What the hell does that mean? Xander
: It's cryptic. I don't like it. Every time instructions get cryptic, someone gets hurt-usually me.
: The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it.
] Oh my God. You will never believe what happened at school today. Buffy
: Everybody started singing and dancing? Dawn
: [pauses, deflating
] I gave birth to a pterodactyl. Anya
: Oh my God, did it sing?
: Math. It seemed cooler when we were singing about it.
] What I mean/I'm fifteen/So this queen thing's illegal.
] Where do we go... from here? Buffy
] Where do we go... from here? Giles
] The battle's done/And we kind of won Tara
] So we sound our victory cheer/Where do we go from here? Xander
: Why is the path unclear/When we know home is near? Xander
] Understand we'll go hand in hand
[all join hands
: But we'll walk alone in fear.
[all release hands and walk off in different directions
] Tell me! Xander
: Where do we go from here?/When does the end appear? Spike
: [In the middle of singing "appear" he suddenly stops and speaks
] Bugger this.
: You're never gonna believe what just happened in school today! Anya
: Everybody started singing and dancing? Dawn Summers
] I gave birth to a pterodactyl. Anya
: Oh my god. Was it singing?
: [about Tara
] She and Willow are both witches. They do spells and stuff, which is so much cooler than slaying. I told mom one time I wish they'd teach me some of the things they do together. And-and then she got really quiet and made me go upstairs.
: You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home. Dawn
: Yeah well, I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me. Buffy
: Fine. I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night, that you got Anya hurt, invited a vampire in, got kidnapped...
: [about Buffy
] She still thinks I'm Little Miss Nobody, just her dumb little sister. Boy, is she in for a surprise.
: Touch me and my sister's gonna kill you.
[Cyrus pokes Dawn with his finger; after a moment, he is staked by Buffy
: Can't say she didn't warn him.
] I don't think Buffy's Watcher likes me too much. I think it's cuz he's just so... old.
: I'm not sure how old he is, but I heard him use the word 'newfangled' one time. So he's gotta be pretty far gone.
: We're going to the magic shop. No school supplies there. Dawn
: Yeah, Mom, I'm not going to Hogwarts. Dawn
: [Buffy stares at her blankly
] Jeez, crack a book sometime.
[Buffy is smothering Dawn with advice on her first day of high school
: You never know what's coming, the stake is not the power, To Serve Man is a cookbook. I love you. Go away.
: But, he's new. He doesn't know his strength. He - he might not know all those fancy martial arts skills they inevitably seem to pick up.
: Doesn't matter how well prepped you are, or how well armed you are. You're a little girl. Dawn
: Woman. Buffy Summers
: Little woman. Dawn
: I'm taller than you.
: I like music. I'm very into Britney Spears' early work, before she sold out. So, mostly her, um, finger painting and macaroni art.
: Talisman must've been destroyed. Dawn
: How'd you know it was a talisman? Buffy Summers
: There's always a talisman.
: Were you parking? With a vamp? Dawn
: I-I didn't know he was dead! Justin
: Living dead. Dawn
: Shut up! Buffy
: How could you not know? Dawn
: I just met him. Buffy
: Oh! Oh, so you were parking in the woods with a boy you just met.
: Nah. Cold doesn't really bother me. Dawn
] What are you, Superman? Justin
: No, but... I do have a few special powers.
: I've been kissed before. I-I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss slut. Just, you know, with-with the lips and-and the pressing together and stuff. Hey, expert here. Okay, okay, it was my first kiss. I know, I know, I suck. My-my lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled on you.
: [angrily scolding a woman in traditional witch costume
] I'm just saying you might wanna rethink the stereotype before someone turns *you* into a toad.
[the woman walks away
] Willow Rosenberg
: And while you're at it, why don't you try removing that broomstick from your-
] Willow Rosenberg
: Dawn! Dawn
: Hey. Don't stop the invective on account of me. Willow Rosenberg
: If I see one more idiot that thinks witches are all hairy moles and rotten teeth... Witchypoo
: [little girl dressed in traditional witch costume too
] Excuse me, do you have any candy corn? Willow Rosenberg
: Oh, look at you! You are just the cutest thing! Dawn
: But, I-I thought you said... Willow Rosenberg
: I know, but look, with the hat, and the-the wart! Oh! Let's go fill your tummy up with sugary niblets, okay?
[about the engagement ring
: Can I try it on? Anya
] Oh, absolutely not.
: He's a killer, Dawn. You cannot have a crush on something that is dead, and, and evil, and a vampire. Dawn
: Right, that's why you were never with Angel for three years. Buffy
: Angel's different. He has a soul. Dawn
: Spike has a chip. Same diff.
: I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around. Buffy
: What does that mean? Dawn
: Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike's completely in love with you. Buffy
: I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all twitchy and secretive. Spike
: They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect. Dawn
: I feel safe with you. Spike
: [almost chokes
] Take that back!
: Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad. Dawn
: 'Cause it was Spike. Buffy
: Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is- it is dangerous and... icky. Dawn
: I don't think Spike's icky. Buffy
: Yeah, well, think again sister.
: You have a crush on him! Dawn
: No, I don't. It's just... he's got cool hair and he wears cool leather coats and stuff.
[last line of the series
: Yeah, Buffy? What are we gonna do now?
[Dawn kicks Buffy in the shin
: Ow. Dawn
[Buffy looks at Xander
: Don't look at me. This is a Summers' thing. It's all very violent. Buffy
: [glares at Dawn
] If you get killed, I'm telling.
: We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side. Xander
: All those shops, gone. The Gap, Starbucks, Toys "R" Us. Who will remember all those landmarks unless we tell the world of them?
: [playing a board game
] I used to be a highly respected watcher, and now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily. I just wish I could sleep. Dawn
: What kind of person could sleep on a night like this? Xander
: [strokes the sleeping Anya's head
] Only the crazy ones.
: Xander, drive faster! Xander
: I can't. Dawn
: I could drive faster, and I can't drive. Anya
: She's right. You're like a snail, a snail who's driving a car very slowly. Come on, give it the lead foot. We gotta help Buffy with that demon you sent after her. Xander
: I did not send the demon. I was possessed. The demon used me to eavesdrop on our conversation. Anya
: Great, so now what? We have to talk in some sort of anti-demon secret code? Xander
: Ood-gay idea-yay An-yay.
: [of Buffy's bloodied hands
] I was gonna fix 'em... I don't know how they got like that. Spike
: I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right? Buffy
: Yeah... that's what I had to do. Spike
: Done it myself.
: Um, hot chocolate for Dawn. You're too young for coffee. Dawn
] Idiot. Anya
: You can have my coffee.
: Thank God. You scared me half to death. Or more to death. You- I could kill you! Dawn
: Spike. Spike
: I mean it. I could rip your head off one-handed and drink from your brain stem.
: Anything else gone? Uh, eyeballs, toenails, or viscera? That's guts. Buffy
: She knows about viscera. Makes you proud.
: I'm sure there's tons of stuff like this. You know, procedures we can use that don't involve magic spells. Just good, solid detective work. And we can develop a database of tooth impressions and demon skin samples and I could wear high heels more often. Buffy
: Wow, that was so close to being empowered.
[Dawn is paralyzed
] Dawn Summers
] I'm really sorry. Buffy
: Oh, it's okay. Xander
: You couldn't help it. It had paralyzing fingernails. Buffy
: Just like you said it would, so, good on you.
[Dawn is still paralyzed
: We'll get ya fixed up. You'll be doin' limbo in no time. Dawn Summers
] Yeah, as a pole.
] Dawn Summers
: Anchovies, anchovies, you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.
: [accidentally smears pizza sauce on one of Buffy's shirts
] Ahh! Hm, she'll think it's blood.
: I cast you out with every prayer from every god that walked the Earth and crawled beneath. I cast you out with the strength of those who love me. I cast your out with the strength I have inside me! I cast you out into the void.
: I'm, I was about to be dead. You saved me. Buffy
: For the time being. But if you don't tell us what we need to know, then I'm gonna offer you to The First on a platter and let him chop you into tiny pieces. Andrew
: The first what? Anya
: The name of the evil thing that pretended to be Warren to get you to kill Jonathan. Andrew
: Oh. Not very ominous-sounding. Dawn
: No, it is if you understand the context. Andrew
: No, an evil name should be like Lex or Voldemort or... Buffy
: Hey! I was intimidating here. Andrew
: Oh, sorry. Um, go ahead. Buffy
] Forget it. Where's the seal?
[investigating the wheel on which Spike was bound
: There's blood on this. Lots. Looks like The First made another sacrifice. Or a music video.
: Bad idea. Annabelle snores. Willow
: You wanna do the sleeping arrangements? Kennedy
: OK. You, uh, better not hog the covers.
: [approaches Willow
] Does she wanna eat? Willow
: What? Huh? Oh, she's-oh, she's new.
: Come on. Who's the man? Buffy
: You are. A very short, annoying man.
: When do I get to patrol? Buffy
: Not until you're never.
: When do I get to patrol? Buffy Summers
: Not until you're never.
[worried about the blind servants of The First Evil
] Dawn Summers
: What if they saw the spell? Xander
: Saw the spell? Dawn, they can't see flashcards. Big ones.
: See, that's why we don't point the weapons in the kitchen. Vi
: It's not loaded. Dawn Summers
: That's always the lead quote under the headline, "Household Crossbow Accident Claims Teen."
] Dawn Summers
: What's up? Xander
: Uh, I'm just thinking about the girls. It's a harsh gig, being a potential. Just being picked out of a crowd. Danger, destiny. Plus if you act now, death. Dawn Summers
: They can handle it. Xander
: Yeah. They're special, no doubt. And the amazing thing is, not one of 'em will ever know. Not even Buffy. Dawn Summers
: Know what? Xander
: How much harder it is for the rest of us. Dawn Summers
: No way. They've got... Xander
: Seven years, Dawn. Working with the Slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful. A witch. A demon. Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but, come a full moon, he had a wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful. All of them. And I'm the guy who fixes the windows. Dawn Summers
: Well. You had that sexy army training for a while, and the windows really did need fixing. Xander
: I saw what you did last night. Dawn Summers
: Yeah, I... I guess I kinda lost my head when I thought I was the Slayer. Xander
: You thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out you weren't, you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power. Dawn Summers
: The power wasn't mine. Xander
: They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realises because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.
[kisses her forehead and starts to leave
] Dawn Summers
: Maybe that's your power. Xander
: [turns around
] What? Dawn Summers
: Seeing. Knowing. Xander
] Maybe it is. Maybe I should get a cape. Dawn Summers
: Cape is good. Xander
[Xander smiles briefly before walking out of the room, leaving Dawn thoughtful
: Um, guys, hello, puberty? Sort of figured out the whole no-Santa thing. Anya
: That's a myth. Dawn
: Yeah. Anya
: No, I mean, it's a myth *that* it's a myth. There is a Santa Claus. Xander
: The advantage of having a thousand-year-old girlfriend. Inside scoop. Tara
: There's a Santa Claus? Anya
: Mm-hmm. Been around since, like, the 1500s. But he wasn't always called Santa. But with, you know, Christmas night, flying reindeer, coming down the chimney, all true. Dawn
: All true? Anya
: Well, he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as, you know, disembowel children. But otherwise... Tara
: The reindeer part was nice.
: You know, my big sister could really beat the crap out of her. I mean, really, really.
: I think we're just about ready for pie. Xander
: Then I'll be pretty much ready for barf. Buffy
: Xander! Dawn
: Gross. Xander
: No, no, barf from the eating. 'Cause all was good, and too much goodness... Joyce
: I'm taking it as a compliment.
: [about M'Fashnik demon
] I'm guessing on how you say it. It's got an apostrophe. I think it's MmmFashnik. Like "Mmm... cookies!". Xander
: Or maybe, Muh-Fashnik. Like Muh... Fashnik.
: So what do we do? Buffy
: Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus, fire. Pretty.
: If you wanna pay e-every bill here, and every bill coming, and have enough to start a nice college fund for Dawn, start charging. Buffy
: For what? Anya
: Slaying vampires. I mean, you're providing a valuable service to the whole community. I say cash in! Buffy
: Well, that's an idea... *you* would have. Any other suggestions? Anya
: Well, I mean, it's-it's not *so* crazy. Dawn
: Yes it is! You can't charge innocent people for saving their lives. Anya
: Spider-Man does. Dawn
: He does not. Anya
: Does too! Dawn
: Does no- Xander? Xander
: Action is his reward.
: It's a text message. Oh, it's from Xander. It's one of our signals. Amanda
: Signals? Willow
: Yeah, the system we set up a while back. Like codes. Uh, this one's either "I just got lucky, don't call me for a while" or "my date's a demon who's trying to kill me." Kennedy
: You don't remember which? Willow
: It was a long time ago. Dawn
: Well, if we play the percentages... Giles
: Something's eating Xander's head. Anya
: Say, that's gratifying.
[Buffy, Spike and Xander enter the house to find the Scoobies waiting up for them. Xander's shirt is wrapped around his waist as a surrogate bandage
: What happened? Xander
: What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay. Willow
: What? Xander
: You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula right now. That's a start, isn't it? Andrew Wells
] Captain Archer... Xander
: Come on, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here. Buffy
: What if you just start attracting male demons? Dawn
: Clem always liked you.
: Those are flash cards. I made them to facilitate her training. Chao-Ahn never had a watcher, with the language problem... Willow
: You showed her these? Giles
: I wanted her to understand the seriousness of her situation. Dawn
: Holy crap!
[holds up picture of a woman ripped in half
: Perhaps I'll rethink the approach.
: [to Mr. Maclay
] You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me. Dawn Summers
: And me! Mr. Maclay
: Is this a joke? I'm not gonna be threatened by two little girls. Dawn Summers
: You don't wanna mess with us. Buffy Summers
: She's a hair-puller.
: This place is so cool, except I have to wear this stupid stamp on my hand. Xander Harris
: That's to keep you from boozing it up. Dawn Summers
: Oh, please! Only losers drink alcohol.
: Gah! Xander
: Touch him! Touch him! Dawn
: Oh, I feel him! I feel him! Xander
: Me too. Andrew
: Me too. Giles
: Good. We all feel each other. Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties, thank you. Um, I assume there is a perfectly reasonable and not at all insane explanation, yes? Anya
: We thought you might be non-corporeal evil. Dawn
: We got a call. We couldn't remember you touching anything. Xander
: We had to make sure you were okay. We were worried. Giles
: Oh. Ah. Yes, well, that's very sweet. Now, wait a minute, you thought - you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and *don't* touch them?
: You're not coming. Andrew
: What? W-Why? 'Cause I used to be evil? Xander
: No, actually, because you're annoying, but, uh, that's a good reason, too. Andrew
] Wait, I - don't-don't leave me here alone. I keep getting attacked in this house. Dawn
: Actually, Xand... Andrew
: W-What if this is all part of the plan? Drive you guys away so It can have Its way with me? E-Ev-Ever think of that? Xander
: I'll risk it. Andrew
: Okay, well, if you leave me here alone, I'll-I'll do something evil, like burning something or gluing things together.
: I tell you I have this theory? It goes where, you're the one who's not *my* sister. 'Cause mom adopted you from a shoe box full of baby howler monkeys, and never told you 'cause it could hurt your delicate baby feelings. Buffy
: That's your theory? Dawn
: Explains your fashion sense... and smell.
: What are you doing? Buffy
: My boyfriend.
: I'm glad you're trapped. How else can I get anybody to spend any time with me?
: Does anybody wanna come to the mall with me for birthday presents? Willow Rosenberg
: Oh, I would, honey, but I've got my group. You know, the whole Spellcasters Anonymous thing... We're still looking for a better name.
[referring to Spike's bandages
: Keep the pressure on. Spike
: Always do, Sweet Bit.
: Are you sure you're okay? Dawn
: Yeah, b-but Spike's hurt. Spike
: [Buffy examines roughly
] Ow! Easy with the delicates. Buffy Summers
: They'll heal. Spike
: Florence bloody Nightingale to the rescue.
: Spike. You sleep, right? You. Vampires. You sleep. Spike
: Yeah. What's your point? Dawn
: Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her... you're gonna wake up on fire.
: You guys really need to ease up with the whole dating demons thing. Buffy
: Uh, hello. I'm sorry, wasn't that you having the smooch-a-thon with teen vampire last Halloween? Dawn
: See, this is why I don't want you talking to my friends.
: It's okay. You guys don't have to make a big deal for me. I'm only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink. Xander
: No, no, no. That's not - that's not - that's not it at all. They just need time to, um, be tender. Relax. Anya
: He's not very convincing, is he?
: When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling I'm the slayer! I'm going to get you! Anya
: That's disturbing. You're emotionally scarred. You'll end up badly. Dawn Summers
: No, it was great. I mean, she didn't actually stake me in the heart, you know. Xander
: Buffy's pretty cool like that.
: [after Buffy has left the house
] Ding dong, the witch is dead. Dawn Summers
: Shut. Your. Mouth.
: I've been reading this old Turkish spell book. There's an old conjuration that the ancient Turks used to communicate with the dying. Willow
: Oh, yeah. I think I've read a translation of that. Dawn
: There's a translation of it?
: I'm over it.
: You. You can help me. Untie me. Please. She's coming. Doc
: Well, it seems she's running a bit late, is the thing, and uh, if Her Splendidness can't be here in time to bleed you...
: Hey, kid. Wanna see a trick?
[pulls out a knife
: Well, what about the movie? It starts at nine. Willow
: We'll make it. I-I'll just be a minute, and it doesn't matter if we miss the trailers. Dawn Summers
: [to self
] I like the trailers.
[Visiting Joyce Summers in the hospital, Dawn helps herself to the Jello on Joyce's lunch tray
] Dawn Summers
: It's good and wiggly. This girl at school told me that gelatin is made from ground-up cows' feet, and that if you eat Jello there's some cows out limping with no feet.
[Joyce and Buffy grimace
] Dawn Summers
: But I told her I'm sure they kill 'em before they take off their feet.
] Dawn Summers
: Right? Buffy
: [to Joyce
] You're the one who insisted on teaching her to talk.
] We're safe. Right. And, uh, Spike built a robot Buffy to play checkers with. Tara
: I-It sounded convincing when I thought it.
: You wanna know what I'm scared of, Spike? Me. Right now, Glory thinks Tara's the Key. But I'm the Key, Spike. I am. And anything that happens to Tara... is 'cause of me. Your bruises, your limp... that's all me, too. I'm like a lightning rod for pain, and hurt... and everyone around me suffers and dies. I must be something so horrible to cause so much pain and evil. Spike
: Rot. Dawn
: What do you know? Spike
: I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil. Dawn
: Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good. Spike
: Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay.
: She looks... Buffy Summers
: Peaceful. Dead Woman
: I am not peaceful. Buffy Summers
: That, I can help with.
] Buffy Summers
: I always thought closed caskets were more tasteful anyway.
: My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else does, all the time. Willow
: Got it. Dawn Summers
: Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says. Willow
: Okay. Dawn Summers
: People may say something to you you don't understand, just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying. Willow
: You know, Dawn, I've been to college before. Dawn Summers
: People may say something like, "My protein window closes in an hour". Just... nod and smile. "Mm-hmm." Turns out it has something to do with fitness.
[after Dawn screwed up at cheerleader audition, in front of her crush RJ. Dawn sobs in the bathroom at home, with Buffy hopelessly trying to talk to her from outside. Xander comes around the corner
: Things a lot better, I see. Buffy
: I don't think tonight's gonna be good for videos, Xand. Xander
: Right, with the wailing and the crying. Still better than a cozy evening with Spike. Shall I order a pizza? Don't teens in a snit like pizza? Dawn Summers
: [opens the door again
] It is not a snit! I-I finally met him - the guy of my dreams, okay? And I blew it! RJ hates me now. Buffy
: Dawn, what is that?
[notices the torn cheerleading clothes on the floor
] Dawn Summers
: Just the end of my life.
: [to Buffy
] Remember when she used to have a crush on me? I miss the much cuter "me" crush.
] We need to find Willow. Xander
: Yeah, she's really off the wagon, big-time. Warren's a dead man if she finds him. Dawn
] Good! Buffy
: Dawn, don't say that. Dawn
: Why not? I'd do it myself if I could. Buffy
: Because you don't really feel that way. Dawn
: Yes, I do! And you should too. He killed Tara, and he nearly killed you. He needs to pay! Xander
: [nods with approval
] Out of the mouths of babes. Buffy
: Xander! Xander
: I'm just saying he's... he's just as bad as any murderous vampire you've sent to dustville. Buffy
: Being a Slayer doesn't give me a license to kill. Warren's human. Dawn
] So? Buffy
: So the human world has its own rules for dealing with people like him. Xander
: Yeah, and we all know how well those rules work. Buffy
: Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Look... we can't control the universe. If we were supposed to... then the magic wouldn't change Willow the way it does. And... we'd be able to bring Tara back. Dawn
] And Mom. Buffy
: There are limits to what we can do. There should be. Willow doesn't wanna believe that. And now she's messing with dark forces that wanna hurt her. All of us. Xander
: I just... I've had blood on my hands all day. Blood from people I love. Buffy
: I know. And now it has to stop. Warren is going to get what he deserves, I promise! But I will not let Willow destroy herself.
: Um, and exactly how many UberVamps were at the Geneva Convention?
: So, it might not work? Giles
: Well, the stone's just a catalyst for the process. The rest is up to Spike. Spike
: And how do you expect to get that hunk of rubble into my cranium?
: Buffy? If you're going out, why don't you take your sister? Buffy
, Dawn Summers
: [in unison
: Where are we going? Xander
: I have no idea. Dawn Summers
: What? Xander
: I don't know, okay? I can't even run away well, and that's something I'm ususally good at. Dawn Summers
: Maybe we should go back and help. Xander
: Yeah, 'cause I've been such big help already.Standing around like a monkey while Buffy gets shot. Tara's dead and Willow's... losing... Dawn Summers
: Yeah, well feeling sorry for yourself isn't helping either, Xander, okay?
] Dawn Summers
: You know, if Spike were here, he'd go back and fight. Xander
: Sure, if he wasn't too busy trying to rape your sister. Dawn Summers
] What? Xander
: Forget it. Dawn Summers
: I don't believe you. Xander
: Fine. Dawn Summers
: He wouldn't do that. Xander
: Is this blind spot like a genetic trait with the Summers women? The only useful thing Spike ever did was finally leave town.
: I don't know how you're back, but you are, and please just stay still!
] Dawn Summers
: Or move - but towards me, because the tower was built by crazy people, and I don't think it's holding up very well.
[Andrew is videotaping the morning's activities in the Summers kitchen
: It's morning in Sunnydale, and the women of Command Central take the time to fortify themselves for the day ahead. Xander Harris
: Hey! Andrew
: Women and Xander. Hey, I'm gonna do your special intro later. "The man who is the heart of the Slayer Machine." Xander Harris
] Yeah? The heart? Andrew
: Things are tense in Command Central this morning. Buffy is clearly concerned with some unknown danger, and the air is filled with foreboding. Dawn Summers
: Oh, um, w-we're out of Raisin Bran. Anya
: I'll put it on the list. Andrew
: That's probably not the unknown danger.