Melvin Frohike
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Quotes for
Melvin Frohike (Character)
from "The X-Files" (1993)

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"The X-Files: Unusual Suspects (#5.3)" (1997)
[the Lone Gunmen are in jail]
Frohike: You know, with that long, blond hair, you'll be the first one in here that gets traded for cigarettes. I'm gonna be laughing my ass off.

Byers: [to Frohicke and Langly] Both of you relax!
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: [to Byers] Shut up, ya narc!
Frohike: It's your fault we're here!

Frohike: Sure, baby, my kung-fu is the best.

Richard 'Ringo' Langly: [to Frohike] Say it.
[Frohike hesitates]
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: *Say... it*!
Frohike: [embarrassed, muttering] Your kung-fu is the best.

Richard 'Ringo' Langly: [off-camera] We are screwed.
[on-camera]
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: Thank you *so* much for getting me involved in this, Doohickey!
Frohike: FROHIKE, you hippie jerk!
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: DOOHICKEY!


The X Files: Resist or Serve (2004) (VG)
Ringo Langly: OK boys and girls, if I can't read you loud and clear, I blame Frohike.
Melvin Frohike: I heard that!

Melvin Frohike: Anyone want to venture a guess what the hell that thing was?
Dana Scully: I hate to break it to you guys but we're being effeted by cosmic radiation. It was probably a hallucination.
Melvin Frohike: That was a bad trip. Just say no to cosmic radiation.

Melvin Frohike: Open says-me!


"The Lone Gunmen: Bond, Jimmy Bond (#1.2)" (2001)
Frohike: A *blind* football team?

Melvin Frohike: [cellphone rings] Hello?
[beeping attracts blind football players; they tackle him]
Melvin Frohike: AAARRRGH! Get off! You're crushing my pelvis!
Yves Adele Harlow: [on phone] Is it Byers? Should I call back?
Melvin Frohike: No! It's not Byers! It's a very large man!


"The Lone Gunmen: Eine Kleine Frohike (#1.3)" (2001)
Frohike: Prepare to get mooned!

Melvin Frohike: Ma, I've been dressing myself since I was 40!


"The Lone Gunmen: Like Water for Octane (#1.4)" (2001)
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: This game isn't about violence. It's about empire building. I spent two solid weeks creating this medival civilization from the ground up.
Melvin Frohike: Yet you're still a 32 year old virgin. The irony!

Frohike: Yeah, and you're still a thirty-two year old virgin!


"The Lone Gunmen: Planet of the Frohikes (#1.7)" (2001)
Melvin Frohike: Feel free to call me an idiot, Yves.
Yves Adele Harlow: You're an idiot, Frohike.


"The Lone Gunmen: Three Men and a Smoking Diaper (#1.5)" (2001)
Langly: [unsuccessful at stopping a baby crying] We tried everything. We fed him. We changed him. I even read him bedtime stories about the F.B.I.'s illegal collection of internet surveillance data.
Melvin Frohike: This kid refuses to negotiate.
Yves Adele Harlow: Even you're not that stupid, Frohike. He won't quit crying until you give him what he wants.
Melvin Frohike: [shares a look with Langly, then they glance at Yves' chest] Free the prisoners.


"The X-Files: Emily (#5.7)" (1997)
Fox Mulder: You know anything about pharmaceuticals?
Melvin Frohike: Medicinal or, uh, recreational?


"The X-Files: Apocrypha (#3.16)" (1996)
Frohike: [examining a used envelope] I got something. Writing. Must have been underneath whatever they were writing on.
Ringo Langly: Your guys at the Bureau have a laser that can detect any change in an object's surface down to a few microns.
Byers: Actually, a perfect impression can be made using magnetic toner and a sheet of mylar.
Frohike: Actually...
[while they have been debating, Mulder has used a pencil to make a rubbing of the impression on the envelope]
Mulder: Actually, it's a phone number, New York City area code.
[hands Frohike the pencil]
Mulder: Now don't drop that. That's a finely calibrated piece of investigative equipment. I gotta make a phone call.
Frohike: [looking at the pencil] I'll be damned.


"The X-Files: Blood (#2.3)" (1994)
Frohike: So Mulder, where's your little partner?
Mulder: She couldn't come. She was afraid of her love for you.


"The X-Files: E.B.E. (#1.16)" (1994)
Frohike: Obviously, you haven't read our August edition of The Lone Gunmen.
Mulder: Oh sorry boys, it arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity Skin.


"The X-Files: Fearful Symmetry (#2.18)" (1995)
Frohike: [Mulder's phone rings] If that's the lovely Agent Scully, tell her I've been working out. I'm buff.


"The X-Files: The Blessing Way (#3.1)" (1995)
Frohike: He was a good friend. A redwood among mere sprouts. I guess this means he's passing you the torch?
Scully: Uh, I'm afraid not. I'm soon to be out of a job.
Frohike: Those sons of bitches! They're rigging the game.
Scully: And like rats they just scatter back into the wood pile.
Frohike: The rats that killed the cat.


"The X-Files: Dreamland II (#6.5)" (1998)
Morris Fletcher: Oh, I'm sorry, Melvin, that's classified.
Melvin Frohike: The name's *Frohike*, you punk-ass!