Fox Mulder
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Quotes for
Fox Mulder (Character)
from "The X-Files" (1993)

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The X Files (1998)
[after shooting the driver in the head]
Well-Manicured Man: Get out of the car.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [expecting to be next] Why? The upholstery is already ruined.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [looking at a vile of serum with a syringe and a note with map coordinates] What is it?
Well-Manicured Man: A weak vaccine against the virus Agent Scully has been infected with. It must be administrated within 96 hours. That leaves you little time to reach those coordinates.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: You're lying.
Well-Manicured Man: No. Though I have no means to prove otherwise. The virus is extraterrestrial. We know very little about it except that it was the original inhabitant of this planet
Special Agent Fox Mulder: A virus.
Well-Manicured Man: What is a virus but a colonizing force that cannot be defeated, living in a cave underground until it mutates and attacks.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: This is what you've been conspiring to conceal? A disease?
Well-Manicured Man: No, for God's sake. You've got it all backwards! AIDS, the Ebola virus, on an evolutionary scale they are newborns. This virus walked the planet long before the dinosaurs.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What do you mean "walked"?
Well-Manicured Man: Your aliens, Agent Mulder, your little green men, arrived here millions of years ago. Those that didn't leave have been lying dormant underground since the last ice age in the form of an evolved pathogen waiting to be reconstituted by the alien race when it comes to colonize the planet using us as hosts. Against this we have no defense. Nothing but a weak vaccine.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: Whatever happened to playing a hunch, Scully? The element of surprise, random acts of unpredictability? If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced.
[Pops a sunflower seed into his mouth]
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What are we doing up here, Scully? It's hotter than hell.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: Maybe we should call in a bomb threat to Houston. I think it's free beer night at the Astrodome.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: After what you saw last night, after all you've seen, you can just walk away?
Special Agent Dana Scully: I have. I did. It's done.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [Mulder and Scully are attempting to follow a truck] I think they went left.
Special Agent Dana Scully: I don't know why, I think they went right.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [Mulder impulsively guns it and takes off straight ahead] Five years together, Scully. How many times have I been wrong? Never!
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [He looks at her and amends:] Not driving, anyway.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: How many times have we been here before, Scully? Right here. So close to the truth and now with what we've seen and what we know to be right back at the beginning with nothing.
Special Agent Dana Scully: This is different, Mulder.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: No, it isn't! You were right to want to quit! You were right to want to leave me! You should get as far away from me as you can! I'm not gonna watch you die, Scully, because of some hallow personal cause of mine. Go be a doctor. Go be a doctor while you still can.
Special Agent Dana Scully: I can't. I won't. Mulder, I'll be a doctor, but my work is here with you now. That virus that I was exposed to, it has a cure. You held it in your hand. How many other lives can we save?
[clasps Mulder's hand]
Special Agent Dana Scully: Look... if I quit now, they win.

Barmaid: So... what do you do?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What do I do?
Barmaid: Mm-hmm.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: I'm the key figure in an ongoing government charade, a plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power and it reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [laughs]
Special Agent Fox Mulder: So, of course, no one believes me. I'm a... I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me "Spooky." Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and now he chases after little green men with a badge and a gun shouting to the heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling. And when it hits, it's gonna be the shit storm of all time.
Barmaid: Well... I would say that about does it, Spooky.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Does what?
Barmaid: Well, looks like 86 is your lucky number.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: You know, one is the loneliest number.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: Is this Dr. Kurtzweil's residence?
D.C. Cop #1: You have some kind of business with him?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Yeah, I'm looking for him.
D.C. Cop #1: You're looking for him for what?
[Mulder shows his ID]
D.C. Cop #1: The Feds are looking for him, too. Real nice business he's got, huh?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What's that?
D.C. Cop #1: Selling naked pictures of little kids on his computer. You looking for him for some other reason?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Yeah. I had an appointment for a pelvic examination.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: Hey! You told me you had answers.
Alvin Kurtzweil, MD: Yeah. Well, I don't have 'em all.

Special Agent Dana Scully: Are you drunk, Mulder?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: I, I was until about 20 minutes ago, yeah.
Special Agent Dana Scully: Was that before or after you decided to come here?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What exactly are you implying?

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [after Scully tells him that she is planning on resigning from the FBI rather than being transferred] You wanna tell yourself that so you can quit with a clear conscience, you can, but you're wrong!
Special Agent Dana Scully: Why did they assign me to you in the first place, Mulder? To debunk your work. To rein you in, to shut you down.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: But you saved me. As difficult and as frustrating as it's been sometimes, your goddamned strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over. You kept me honest. You made me a whole person. I owe you everything. Scully, and you owe me nothing. I don't know if I wanna do this alone. I don't even know if I can. And if I quit now, they win.

Special Agent Dana Scully: Any thoughts as to why anybody would be growing corn in the middle of the desert?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Those could be giant Jiffy-Pop poppers.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: You know, one is the loneliest number.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: You got about 14 minutes to evacuate this building.
Special Agent Dana Scully: [thinking Mulder is joking about finding a bomb] Come on Mulder.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Thirteen fifty-six. Thirteen fifty-four. Thirteen fifty-two. Thirteen fifty. You see a pattern emerging here, Scully?

Special Agent Dana Scully: I saw your face, Mulder. There was a definite moment of panic.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: You've never seen me panic. When I panic, I make this face.
[remains impassive]

Special Agent Fox Mulder: I just got chased through Texas by two black helicopters!
Alvin Kurtzweil, MD: And why do you think it is you're standing here talking to me? These people don't make mistakes.

[Scully rings Mulder while he stares at the bomb]
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Scully, you know that face I just showed you? I'm making it again.

Special Agent Dana Scully: [after tricking Mulder into the door being locked] I had you.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: No, you didn't.
Special Agent Dana Scully: Oh, yeah. I had you big time.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: What do you want? Coke, Pepsi, saline IV?

Well-Manicured Man: You have precious little time. What I've given you, the alien colonists don't yet know exists. The vaccine you hold is the only defense against the virus. It's introduction into an alien environment may have the power to destroy the delicate plans we have so assiduously protected for the last 50 years.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What do you mean "may have"?
Well-Manicured Man: Find Agent Scully. Only then you will realize the scope and grandeur of the project. Go. Go now!

Special Agent Dana Scully: Mulder what are you doing?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Something's wrong!
Special Agent Dana Scully: Mulder!
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Something's not right!
Special Agent Dana Scully: Mulder get in the car! THERE'S NO TIME!

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [the alien spacecraft emerges from the ice and flies overheard] Scully, you gotta see this. Scully
Special Agent Dana Scully: [whispering] I saw it. I saw it, too.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [after the building has blown up] Next time, you're buying.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: Scully, you gotta see this. Scully...

"The X-Files: Pilot (#1.1)" (1993)
Special Agent Dana Scully: [hears a knock on the door] Who is it?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Steven Spielberg.

Special Agent Dana Scully: Do you have a theory?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: I have plenty of theories.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [to Scully] Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?

Special Agent Fox Mulder: [Scully and Mulder are examining what appears to be an alien body found in a coffin] If it's not human, what is it?
Special Agent Dana Scully: It's mammalian. My guess is it's a chimpanzee or something from the ape family. Possibly an orangutan.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Buried in the city cemetery in Ray Soames's grave. Try telling that to the good townsfolk or Ray Soames's family. I want tissue samples and X-rays. I'd like blood-typing, toxicology and a full genetic work-up.
Special Agent Dana Scully: You're serious?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: What we can't do here, we'll order to go.
Special Agent Dana Scully: You don't honestly believe this is some kind of extraterrestrial? This is somebody's sick joke.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: We can do those X-rays here, can't we? Is there any reason we can't do them right now? I'm not crazy, Scully. I have the same doubts you do.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: When convention and science offer us no answers, might we not finally turn to the fantastic as a plausibility?
Special Agent Dana Scully: What I find fantastic is any notion that there are answers beyond the realm of science. The answers are there. You just have to know where to look.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: That's why they put the I in FBI.

[after Mulder & Scully's plane hits severe turbulence]
Special Agent Fox Mulder: This must be the place.

[Mulder has just spray-painted a giant X on the road]
Special Agent Dana Scully: What the hell was that about?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Oh, you know, probably nothing.

[Mulder opens a coffin that just rolled down the hill]
Coroner John Truitt: This isn't official procedure.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [sarcastically] Really.

Special Agent Dana Scully: What happened?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: We lost power. Brakes, steering, everything.
[checks watch]
Special Agent Fox Mulder: We lost nine minutes!
Special Agent Dana Scully: You're saying that time disappeared. Time can't just disappear. It's a universal invariant!
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [car restarts itself] Not in this zip code!

Special Agent Dana Scully: [frightened by the marks on her back] What are they? Mulder, what are they!
Special Agent Fox Mulder: [smiles] Mosquito bites.

Special Agent Fox Mulder: There's classified government information I've been trying to access, but someone has been blocking my attempts to get at it.
Special Agent Dana Scully: Who? I don't understand.
Special Agent Fox Mulder: Someone at a higher level of power...
Special Agent Dana Scully: And they're afraid of what, that you'll leak this information?
Special Agent Fox Mulder: You're a part of that agenda, you know that.
Special Agent Dana Scully: I'm not a part of any agenda. You've got to trust me. I'm here, just like you, to solve this.

Mulder: Ah, you got to love this place. Every day it's like Halloween.

Mulder: [Agent Scully knocks on his office door] Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
Scully: Agent Mulder? I'm Dana Scully. I've been assigned to work with you.
Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded. So, who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?
Scully: Actually, I'm looking forward to working with you. I've heard a lot about you.
Mulder: Oh, really? I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.

"The X-Files: Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-Monster (#10.3)" (2016)
[to Dana]
Fox Mulder: Since we've been away, much of the unexplained has been explained.

Fox Mulder: Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters. You've seen one serial killer, you've seen them all.

Fox Mulder: Did you lose someone recently?
Guy Mann: Yeah, myself.

Fox Mulder: Okay, I'll do it, I'll kill you.
Guy Mann: Thanks mister, you're like the only nice person I've ever met.

Fox Mulder: You and me, we're the same, Guy. We both want to believe in things that aren't real. Or even possible.

Fox Mulder: It shot blood at me. From its eye, Scully- I think. It was hard for me to see, because I had blood in my eyes.
Dana Scully: I haven't done a blood analysis yet, but it's probably residue from the prior attack on this victim. And animals don't shoot blood out of their eyeballs.
Fox Mulder: Oh, no? Well, tell that to the horned lizard. Which shoots blood out its eyeball, Scully, yes. It's a defense mechanism. Scientific fact!
Dana Scully: Mulder, the Internet is not good for you.

Fox Mulder: Looks like you gave it a pretty good shot.
Annabelle: I think I hit it right in its horn.
Dana Scully: Hmm. It had a horn. Like a... unicorn?
Annabelle: It had horns. At the back of its head, like a lizard or something.
Fox Mulder: [shows a drawing of the monster] Did it look anything like this?
Annabelle: No. The thing I saw only had two eyes. And it was wearing underwear.
Dana Scully: Boxers or briefs?
Annabelle: Tighty-whities. Same kind I used to wear. I transitioned last year.

Fox Mulder: So you're agreeing with me?
Dana Scully: No! You're bat-crap crazy!

Guy Mann: You see, now I possess the one Darwinian advantage that humans have over other animals: the ability to BS my way through anything. I mean, it's better than camouflage!
Fox Mulder: You wouldn't happen to be, uh, BSing me right now all about this, would you?

Guy Mann: Man, she hit like a man.
Fox Mulder: That's because she used to be... uh, she once... She's transgender.
Guy Mann: What? You can't transform into a different sex! That's nuts!
Fox Mulder: It's not nuts. It's actually a very common medical procedure. You don't need the surgery, technically...
Guy Mann: Maybe that's what I could do! It's a cure!
Fox Mulder: No.
Guy Mann: Well, I've got to stop transforming. I'll do the surgery.
Fox Mulder: Completely different.
Guy Mann: I don't care how much it costs, I'll do it.
Fox Mulder: They cut off your genitals.
Guy Mann: Nah, I'll leave it. That's... That's a step too far, isn't it?
Fox Mulder: Yeah.

Fox Mulder: I thought I was going to believe you, but it's all... it's just too... fantastic.
Guy Mann: It's not fantastic. It's tragic!
Fox Mulder: No, I mean it's just... silly.
Guy Mann: That's my life you're talking about.
Fox Mulder: It's my life, too. You and me, we're the same, Guy. We both want to believe in things that aren't real - or even possible.

Fox Mulder: Scully, since we've been away, much of the "unexplained" has been explained. The "Death Valley Racetrack"? Turns out it was just ice formations, moving the rocks around as it melted. Yeah, ice. Humility prevents me from recounting how I once thought it had something to do with a series of mysterious sightings of a rock-like creature in Colorado which turned out to just be a publicity stunt by a local landscaping business. It's amazing, going through these archives with fresh - if not wiser - eyes, how many of these cases, whether it's "The Amarillo Armadillo Man" or "The Hairy Whatsit of Walla Walla" can be explained away as fraternity pranks, practical jokes or people making stuff up simply because they're bored and or crazy. And if that doesn't explain it, well then it was probably just ice.
Dana Scully: Mulder, have you been taking your meds?
Fox Mulder: [pulls pencils out of the "I Want to Believe" poster]
Fox Mulder: Scully, Charles Fort spent his entire life researching natural and scientific anomalies, which he published in four books, all of which I know by heart. And at the end of his life, Fort himself wondered if it hadn't all been a waste. I get it. I'm a middle-aged man, Scully. No, I am, I am. I'm thinking maybe it's time to put away childish things: the Sasquatches and mothmen and... jackalopes. I thought it'd be great to get back to work. But is this really how I want to spend the rest of my days? Chasing after monsters?
Dana Scully: We've been given another case, Mulder... It has a monster in it.

Fox Mulder: Your records don't provide much information and I'm assuming that "Guy Mann" is not a real name.

The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)
Fox Mulder: Are you asking me to give up?
Dana Scully: No. I can't tell you to do that, Mulder. But I can tell you that I won't be coming home.

Dana Scully: Mulder. Can you hear me?
Fox Mulder: [drugged] Sorry about your car.

Fox Mulder: Scully? Why would he say that?
[he pauses then follows Scully to her car]
Fox Mulder: "Don't give up." Why would he say such a thing to you?
Dana Scully: I think that was clearly meant for you, Mulder.
Fox Mulder: He didn't say it to me. He said it to you.
Dana Scully: Umm...
Fox Mulder: If Father Joe were the devil, why would he say the opposite of what the devil might say?
[she doesn't reply, though clearly attempting to rationalize]
Fox Mulder: Maybe that's the answer. You know, the larger answer.
Dana Scully: What do you mean?
Fox Mulder: Don't give up.
Dana Scully: Please don't make this any harder than it already is.
Fox Mulder: It's OK... OK.
Fox Mulder: [wrapping his arms around Scully, allowing her to rest her head on his chest] If you have any doubts, any doubts at all, just call off that surgery this morning. And then we'll get out of here.
[he loosens his embrace enough to look into her eyes]
Fox Mulder: Just me and you.
Dana Scully: As far away from the darkness as we can get?
Fox Mulder: I'm not sure it works that way. I think maybe the darkness finds you, and me.
Dana Scully: [as a tear rolls down her cheek] I know it does.
Fox Mulder: But let it try.
[they embrace again, this time pulling together in a long, passionate kiss]

Fox Mulder: This is not an exact science. If it were me, I'd be on the guy 24/7. I'd be in bed with him kissing his holy ass.
ASAC Dakota Whitney: Father Joe is a convicted pedophile.
Fox Mulder: [surprised] ... Maybe I'd stay out of bed with him.

Dana Scully: Yeah, well, it's been fun.
Fox Mulder: Scully? Nobody's gonna make you sit next to him.
Dana Scully: Thanks, but I've already been taken for a ride. Anyway, he doesn't want me there.
Fox Mulder: I want you here.
Dana Scully: This isn't my life anymore, Mulder. I'm done chasing monsters in the dark.

Fox Mulder: I can feel you thinking.
Dana Scully: I'm sorry. I can't sleep.
Fox Mulder: Actually, I have a little something for that.
Dana Scully: Just a little something?
Fox Mulder: Thank you.

Dana Scully: What are you doing?
Fox Mulder: I'm trying to ignore you.

Agent Mosley Drummy: I don't believe this.
Fox Mulder: That's been your problem from the start.

Fox Mulder: What's up, Doc?

Dana Scully: What was it you were praying for in there, sir?
Father Joe: For the salvation of my immortal soul.
Dana Scully: And do you think God hears your prayers?
Father Joe: Do you think he hears yours?
Dana Scully: I didn't bugger 37 altar boys.
Father Joe: Oh.
Fox Mulder: That's a colorful way of puttin' it.
Dana Scully: Well, I have another word, if you'd like.
Fox Mulder: I'm sure you do.

Dana Scully: You know, the truth is, I worrry about you, and the effects of long-term isolation.
Fox Mulder: [chuckling] I'm fine here. I'm happy as a clam.

Dana Scully: This stubbornness of yours, it's why I fell in love with you.
Fox Mulder: It's like you said. That's why we can't be together.

"The X-Files: Humbug (#2.20)" (1995)
Mulder: I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy I saw.

Dr. Blockhead: Did you know that through the protective Chinese practice of Tiea Bu Shan, you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?
Mulder: Oh, I'm doing that as we speak.

[after the funeral, attended exclusively by circus performers, breaks up due to Dr. Blockhead's impromptu performance]
Mulder: I can't wait for the wake.

[Sheriff Hamilton catches Mulder and Scully digging in his backyard]
Sheriff Hamilton: May I ask what you're doing?
Mulder: We're exhuming... your potato.

Dana Scully: Mr. Swaim, we're here to question you about some recent murders.
Dr. Blockhead: I don't answer any questions until I talk to my lawyer.
Mulder: Who's your lawyer?
Dr. Blockhead: I represent myself.

Dana Scully: Is this man also a body manipulator?
Dr. Blockhead: No, in the classical sense, the Conundrum's a geek.
Mulder: He eats live animals?
Dr. Blockhead: He eats anything. Live animals, dead animals, rocks, lightbulbs, corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries...

[after correcting Mulder's assumption that he was a circus performer]
Mulder: I'm sorry. I meant no offense.
Mr. Nutt: Well, why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make assumptions about people purely on the basis of their physical appearances? Why, I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government... an FBI agent. But you see the tragedy? I have unconsciously reduced you to a stereotype, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Mulder: But I am an F.B.I. agent.

[last lines]
Mulder: Hey, what's the matter with your friend?
Dr. Blockhead: I don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the Florida heat.
Dana Scully: Hope it's nothing serious.
The Conundrum: [His only line] Probably something I ate.

Mulder: We're exhuming your - potato.

[Mulder falls on a bed of nails]
Dana Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: It's more comfortable than a futon.
[the door opens, showing Sheriff Hamilton holding Dr. Blockhead by the hooks in his chest]
Sheriff Hamilton: Hey! Look what I caught.
[tugs on the line]
Dr. Blockhead: Ouch!

Mr. Nutt: Just because I'm not of so-called average height does not mean I must receive my thrills vicariously. Not all women are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself. You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring.
Mulder: You'd be surprised how many men do as well.

"The X-Files: War of the Coprophages (#3.12)" (1996)
Mulder: I think you'd better get up here.
Scully: What happened?
Mulder: It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
Scully: I'm not going to ask you if you just said what I think you just said, because I know it's what you just said.

Fox Mulder: Bambi also has a theory I've come to acro...
Dana Scully: Who?
Fox Mulder: Dr. Berenbaum. Anyway her theory is...
Dana Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Fox Mulder: Yeah. Both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.
Dana Scully: Her name is Bambi?

Dr. Jeff Eckerle: How do I know you're not a cockroach?
Mulder: I assure you I'm as human as you are, if not more so.

Dr. Bambi Berenbaum: Oh my god.
Mulder: Is it abnormal?
Dr. Bambi Berenbaum: I'll say. He's hung like a club-tail dragonfly.

Mulder: The development of our cerebral cortex has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes. Big deal. While allowing us the thrills of intellect or the pangs of self-consciousness, it is all too often overruled by our inner, instinctive brain - the one that tells us to react, not reflect, to run, rather than ruminate. Maybe we have gone as far as we can go and the next advance, whatever that may be - will be made by beings we create ourselves, using our own technology. Life forms we can design and program not to be ultimately governed and constricted by the rules of survival. Or perhaps that step forward had already been achieved on another planet by organisms that had a billion years head start on us. If these beings ever visited us, would we recognize what we were seeing? And upon catching sight of us, would they react in anything but horror at seeing such mindless, primitive, hideous creatures?

Dr. Bambi Berenbaum: Everything about insects is fascinating. They are truly remarkable creatures. So beautiful, and so honest.
Mulder: Honest?
Dr. Bambi Berenbaum: Eat, sleep... defecate, procreate. That's all they do. That's all we do, but at least insects don't kid themselves that it's anything more than that.

Dana Scully: Smart is sexy.
[Mulder gives her a look]
Dana Scully: Look at it this way, Mulder, by the time there's another invasion of artificially intelligent, dung-eating, robotic probes from outer space, maybe their über-children will have devised a way to save our planet.
Fox Mulder: You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully, but you smell bad.

Mulder: Scully, can I confess something to you?
Scully: Yeah, sure, okay.
Mulder: I hate insects.
Scully: You know, lots of people are afraid of insects, Mulder. It's just a... it's natural, instinctive.
Mulder: No, no, I'm not afraid of them. I *hate* them. One day back when I was a kid, I, uh... I was climbing this tree when I noticed this leaf walking towards me. It took forever for me to realize that it was no leaf.
Scully: A praying mantis?
Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany, and as a result I screamed. No, not... not a girly scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited.
Scully: Mulder... are you sure it wasn't a girly scream?

Fox Mulder: Cockroaches! They're everywhere!

[a factory full of animal feces explodes, drenching Mulder and Scully in manure]
Fox Mulder: ...Crap.

"The X-Files: Arcadia (#6.15)" (1999)
[Mulder and Scully are posing as husband and wife]
Mulder: Wow. Admit it, you just want to play house. Woman! Get back in here and make me a sandwich!
[Scully throws a rubber glove at him]
Mulder: Did I not make myself clear?

[Mulder and Scully are undercover as newlyweds]
Mulder: You wanna make that honeymoon video now?

Gordy: So, how was your first night? Peaceful?
Mulder: It was wonderful. We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right, honey bunch?
Dana Scully: That's right, poopy head.

[Mulder and Scully are undercover as newlyweds]
Win Shroeder: So, where'd you two meet?
Mulder: Actually it was a UFO conference.
Win Shroeder: Flying saucers? Interesting. Wouldn't have thought you folks would've been into that.
Mulder: Well it's not me so much as Laura.
[puts his arm around Scully]
Mulder: She's quite the new-ager. She's into those magnetic bracelets and crystals and mood rings, what have you. I mean, God bless her, she's a sucker for all that stuff.

[undercover as newlyweds, Mulder taps the bed suggestively]
Mulder: Come on, Laura. We're married now.
Dana Scully: Scully. Mulder, good night.

[playing basketball at night, Win angrily walks toward him]
Mulder: Hey, Win! Wanna play Horse?

[a bulldozer is tearing up the front lawn; the neighbors watch in horror]
Pat Verlander: What in God's name are you doing?
Mulder: Putting in a pool!

Gene Gogolak: FBI? What did I do?
Mulder: Let's start with the Klines. You're responsible for them being in little pieces in my front yard. You gave them that lawn ornament. The guy with the axe.
Gene Gogolak: Whirligig.
Mulder: Yeah, whirligig. It's tacky enough to break your rules and your CCRs - tacky enough to mark the Klines for death.
Gene Gogolak: Won't that sound good in a court of law? When the judge asks you who killed the Klines, what exactly are you going to tell him?
Mulder: [Looking around Gogolak's house he finds] A tulpa. It's a Tibetan thought-form. It's a living, breathing creature willed into existence by someone who possesses that ability - an ability I think you picked up on your whirligig-buying excursions to the Far East. Why'd you do it? I mean, is it so damn important for everybody to have the same color mailbox?
Gene Gogolak: It's important that people fit in.
Mulder: But you didn't know exactly what you were getting into, did you? I mean, you can summon its existence, but... You can give it life, but you can't control it. The best you can hope for is to stay out of its way.
Gene Gogolak: Son, my lawyers are going to make you sound so stupid that not only will I never see the inside of a jail cell, but you'll be signing all your paychecks straight to me.

Dana Scully: Third warning... toilet seat
[Mulder jumps on bed. Scully comes out of bathroom with lime green face mask on... Mulder looks up at her in shock]
Mulder: D'OH !

[Mulder in bed pats the covers several times as he looks at Scully raising his eye brows like Groucho Marx beckoning her to come lie in bed with him]
Mulder: Come on Laura... were married now
Dana Scully: It's Scully... Mulder... Good night
Mulder: [Mulder gets outta bed as he passes Scully] The thrill is gone

"The X-Files: Bad Blood (#5.12)" (1998)
Mulder: [Investigating a body] Have you noticed that this man's shoes are untied?
Scully: Mulder, what's your point?
Mulder: This means something.

Scully: First of all, if the family of Ronnie Strickland does indeed decide to sue the FBI for, I think the figure is $446 million, then you and I both will most certainly be co-defendants. And second of all... I don't even have a second of all, Mulder! $446 million! I'm in this as deep as you are, and I'm not even the one that overreacted! I didn't do the...
[makes jabbing motion with finger]
Scully: with the thing!
Mulder: I did not overreact, Ronnie Strickland was a vampire!
Scully: Where's your proof?
Mulder: You're my proof! You were there! Okay, now you're scaring me. I want to hear exactly what you're going to tell Skinner.
Scully: Oh, you want our stories straight.
Mulder: No, no, I didn't say that! I just want to hear it the way you saw it.
Scully: I don't feel comfortable with that...
Mulder: Prison, Scully! Your cellmate's nickname is going to be Large Marge. She gonna read a lot of Gertrude Stein.

Mulder: Historically, cemeteries were thought to be a haven for vampires, as are castles, catacombs and swamps, but unfortunately, you don't have any of those.
Sheriff Hartwell: We used to have swamps, only the EPA made us take to calling 'em "wetlands".

Scully: But I just put money in the "magic fingers"!
Mulder: [hops on bed] I won't let it go to waste!

Scully: Why would a real vampire need fake fangs?
Mulder: Fangs are very rarely mentioned in the folklore. Real Vampires aren't actually thought to have them. It's more an invention of Bram Stoker's. I think maybe you were right before when you said that this is just a guy who's watched too many Dracula movies. He just happens to be a real vampire.

Scully: [waiting to speak to Skinner about Mulder's "staking" a suspect] Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
Mulder: [impatiently] Would you stop that.
Scully: It couldn't hurt.
Mulder: [impatiently] Stop it.
Walter Skinner: [enters room] Scully... Mulder...
Mulder: [interrupting] I was drugged!

Walter Skinner: Ronnie Strickland's body's disppeared from the morgue, apparently in conjunction with this, the coroner's been attacked. His throat was bitten.
Mulder: The coroner's dead?
Walter Skinner: [uncomfortably] No, his... throat was bitten. It was sort of... gnawed... on.

Scully: [bewildered] But... he was dead!
Mulder: [bemused] I noticed that.
Scully: He had a stake through his heart!
Mulder: I noticed that, too.

Mulder: Look at that. Huh? Huh?
[Scully pulls out fake vampire teeth]
Mulder: Oh shi...

"The X-Files: Pusher (#3.17)" (1996)
Mulder: Modell psyched the guy out, he put the whammy on him!
Scully: Please explain to me the scientific nature of the Whammy.

Robert Patrick Modell: [after the hearing] I believe you owe me five dollars.
[Mulder reaches for his wallet, then looks down]
Mulder: Hey, your shoe's untied.
[Modell looks down, then back up]
Mulder: Made you look... how do you do it?

Scully: I dug up a few things on a Robert Patrick Modell.
Mulder: Let me guess: he was an average student, he went to an average community college, and he did an average stint in the military.
Scully: Which branch of service?
Mulder: Not his first choice. He wanted to be a Navy SEAL, and then he wanted to be an Army Special Forces Green Beret, was promptly washed out of both, though not for lack of intelligence. Ended up becoming a supply clerk at Fort Bragg. Served two years, general discharge.
Scully: Did you know that he applied to the FBI?
[Mulder's expression makes clear that he didn't]
Scully: He didn't even come close to passing the psych screenings.
Mulder: You got a copy of that?
Scully: Yeah. They found him to be "acutely ego-centered." He has no regard for the feelings of others and insists on perceiving people as objects. He is extremely suspicious of governments and authority...
Mulder: Yet he wants to be *in* authority.
Scully: The screener caught him in a dozen self-aggrandizing lies, saying he was a master of martial arts, that he had been trained by Gurkhas in Nepal and ninjas in Japan...
Mulder: Well, ninjas are said to be able to cloud the minds of their opponents.
Scully: Are we talking kung fu movies, Mulder?

[after Modell induces Burst to have a fatal heart attack]
Mulder: You mean you killed this man for nothing, you sick bastard?
Robert Patrick Modell: [laughs] Haven't you figured it out, Mulder? They all kill themselves.

[Mulder theorizes that Modell's suggestive ability comes from a brain tumor]
Scully: Mulder, more to the point, if Modell did have a brain tumor, the effects on his health would be more debilitating. It's likely he simply wouldn't be well enough to play these cat-and-mouse games with us.
Mulder: Maybe he isn't. Maybe that's the whole point.
Scully: What do you mean?
Mulder: At the driving range, he didn't let us capture him. He was too sick, too tired, too wiped out. I mean, why would a killer who was so proficient confess to fourteen murders that he'd already gotten away with? Maybe he's dying.
Scully: And he wants to go out in a blaze of glory.
Mulder: Not with a whimper but with a bang.

Mulder: I don't know, maybe it's an aspect of some Eastern martial art. You know, a specific alteration of the brain's chemistry caused by some specific timbre or cadence in Modell's voice. His voice seems to be the key.
Scully: Mulder, Modell's last employment was as a convenience store clerk. He has never been trained by ninjas, he has never even been outside the U.S. He is just a little man who wishes that he were someone big. And we're feeding that wish! That failed psych screening? If Modell could actually control people's minds, right now he'd be an FBI agent, right? He'd be a Green Beret, a Navy SEAL...

[last lines]
[Mulder looks at Modell, lying in a coma. Scully enters]
Scully: There's no telling how long he'll hang on, but he'll never regain consciousness.
Mulder: You know, we thought he was undergoing treatment. We were wrong.
Scully: What do you mean?
Mulder: Read his chart. The MRI's were a way to gauge how much life he had left, but he consistently refused treatment. The tumor remained operable right up until the end, but he refused to have it removed.
Scully: Why?
Mulder: I think it's like you said. He was always such a little man. This was finally something that made him feel big.
[Scully takes his arm]
Scully: I say we don't let him take up another minute of our time.

Mulder: Hey, Scully, check this out! Mango-kiwi tropical swirl... Now we know we're dealin' with a madman!

Mulder: [repeated by multiple characters] He had to go.

"The X-Files: Squeeze (#1.3)" (1993)
Fox Mulder: This is the fingerprint I took yesterday from Usher's office. These others are from an X-File. Ten murders, Baltimore area, undetermined points of entry, each victim had their liver removed.
Dana Scully: Ten murders? Colton never mentioned...
Fox Mulder: Most likely he's unaware of them. These two prints were lifted five years before he was born, at Powhattan Mill. And these three were lifted probably... five years before his mother was even born.
Dana Scully: Are you saying these prints are from the 1960's and 1930's?
Fox Mulder: And fingerprinting was just coming into its own in 1903, but there was a murder involving an extracted liver.
Dana Scully: Of course.

Dana Scully: You're saying these are copycats?
Fox Mulder: What did we learn our first day at the academy, Scully? Each fingerprint is unique. These are a perfect match.
Dana Scully: Are you suggesting that I go before the Violent Crime Section and present a profile declaring that these murders are done by aliens?
Fox Mulder: No, of course not. I find no evidence of alien involvement.
Dana Scully: Well, what then? That this is the work of a hundred-year-old serial killer who's capable of overpowering a healthy six-foot-two businessman?
Fox Mulder: And he should stick out in a crowd with ten-inch fingers.

Mulder: Do you think I'm spooky?

[at a crime scene]
Agent Tom Colton: So, Mulder, whaddaya think? This look like the work of little green men?
Mulder: Gray.
Agent Tom Colton: Excuse me?
Mulder: Gray. You said "green men." A Reticulian's skin tone is actually gray. They're notorious for their extraction of terrestrial human livers, due to iron depletion in the Reticulum galaxy.
Agent Tom Colton: You can't be serious.
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticulum?

Mulder: Is there anyway I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?
[shakes hand wildly]

Dana Scully: You knew they wouldn't believe you, why did you push it.
Fox Mulder: Maybe I thought you caught the right guy. And maybe I run into so many people who are hostile, just because they can't open their minds to the possibilities, that sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation.

[last lines]
Fox Mulder: All these people putting bars on their windows, spending good money on high tech security systems trying to feel safe. I look at this guy and think... it ain't enough.

Detective Frank Briggs: When I walked into that room, my heart went cold. My hands... Numbed. I could feel... it.
Fox Mulder: Feel what Frank?
Detective Frank Briggs: When I first heard about the death camps in 1945, I remembered Powhatan Mill. When I see the Kurds and the Bosnians... That room is there... I tell you. It's like all the horrible acts that humans are capable of somehow gave birth to some kind of human... Monster.

"The X-Files: Syzygy (#3.13)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: You don't suppose she's a virgin, do you?
Dana Scully: I don't even think she's a blonde.

Dana Scully: I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big, macho man?
Fox Mulder: No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.

Dana Scully: This has gone on far enough.
Fox Mulder: What?
Dana Scully: I am not going to be humiliated by you, in front of you, or by having to bring a teenage girl on her birthday of all days to identify the bones of her dead dog, Mr. Tippy. I see no reason to pursue this case any further, and not only that, I find your conduct and your comportment in this case not just alarming, but highly objectionable.

[last lines]
Fox Mulder: Uh, Scully, if I'm not mistaken, we're going to be taking a left up here... uh, there's an intersection, you're gonna wanna... Scully, you're gonna wanna...!
[Car speeds through the intersection]
Fox Mulder: You just ran a stop sign back there, Scully.
Dana Scully: Shut up, Mulder.
Fox Mulder: Sure. Fine. Whatever.

Fox Mulder: We are but visitors on this rock, hurtling through time and space at 66,000 miles an hour. Tethered to a burning sphere by an invisible force in an unfathomable universe. This most of us take for granted, while refusing to believe these forces have any more effect on us than a butterfly beating it's wings halfway around the world.

Det. Angela White: So what are you doing at my house?
Fox Mulder: I was hoping you could help me solve the mystery of the horny beast.

Fox Mulder: This may not be any time to mention it but someone's wearing my favorite perfume.

Fox Mulder: Go ahead.
Dana Scully: No, you go ahead.
Fox Mulder: No, no, no. Be my guest.
Fox Mulder: I know how much you like snapping on the latex.

"The X-Files: How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (#6.6)" (1998)
Mulder: I think there's a hiding space under the floorboards.
Scully: What are you going to do?
Mulder: There may be somebody trapped under there.
Scully: Mulder, don't.
Mulder: I got to get them out.
Scully: Not now.
Mulder: Hey, you have a gun, right? Rationally, you've been in much more dangerous situations. I was half right.
Scully: Oh, my God.
Mulder: Hey, Scully... Look at this.
Scully: It's a woman. Mulder, it looks like they were shot to death.
Mulder: Yeah.
Scully: You know what's weird?
Mulder: What?
Scully: Mulder, she's wearing my outfit.
Mulder: How embarrassing.
Scully: Yeah, well, you know what? He's wearing yours.
Mulder: Oh... Scully...
Scully: That's us.

Scully: The dark Gothic manor, the omnipresent low fog hugging the thicket of overgrowth... Wait. Is that a hound I hear baying out on the moors?
Mulder: No, actually that was a left cheek sneak.

Scully: Mulder... None of that really happened out there tonight... That was all in our heads, right?
Mulder: It must have been.
Scully: Mmm. Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.
Mulder: When have you proved me wrong?
Scully: Well... Why else would you want me out there with you?
Mulder: You didn't want to be there? Oh, that's, um... That's self-righteous and... narcissistic of me to say, isn't it?
Scully: No, I mean... Maybe I did want to be out there with you.
Mulder: Now, um... I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts but, uh... I got you... a little something.
Scully: Mulder...
Mulder: Merry Christmas.
Scully: Well, I got you a little something, too.

Scully: Mulder.
Mulder: [alarmed at a noise] Shhh! What was that?
Scully: [irritably rational] These are tricks that the mind plays. They are ingrained clichés from a thousand different horror films. When we hear a sound, we get a chill, we, we- we see a shadow and we allow ourselves to imagine something that an otherwise rational person would discount out of hand.
[Mulder just continues up the dark staircase. Frustrated, Scully pulls out her flashlight and follows him]
Scully: [continuing to rationalize nervously] The whole, Mulder- the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I'm saying, that, I mean, that a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous. I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become in believing such things. I mean that... that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body, that... that we witness these spirits clad in their own, shabby outfits, with the same old haircuts and hairstyles, never aging, never- never in search for more comfortable surroundings... it actually ends up saying more about the living than it does about the dead.
Mulder: [only half-listening] Mmm-huh.
Scully: [clearly rattling on in fear and nervousness] And Mulder, it doesn't take an advanced degree in Psychology to understand the unconscious yearnings that these imaginings satisfy. You know, the... the longing for immortality, the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil, that we might never be long without our loved-ones... I mean, these are powerful, powerful desires. I mean, they're the very essence of what makes us human... the very essence of Christmas, actually.
[a door nearby suddenly opens on its own with a loud creak]
Mulder: [breathless; whispering] Tell me you're not afraid.
Scully: [breathless also, but stringent] All right, I'm afraid. But it's an irrational fear.
Mulder: [rooted to his spot, letting her go first] I got your back.
Scully: [turning back, seeing that he hasn't moved] Thank you.

Mulder: I almost gave up on you.
Scully: Sorry. Checkout lines were worse than rush-hour on the 95. If I heard "Silent Night" one more time, I was gonna start taking hostages.

Lydia: [opening her robe to show a massive hole through her torso] I don't show my hole to just anyone.
Mulder: Why are you showing it to *me*?

Lydia: [Mulder moves Lydia aside] Masher.
Mulder: Frump.

Maurice: You've probably convinced yourself you've seen aliens. You know why you think you see the things you do?
Mulder: Because... I *have* seen them?
Maurice: 'Cause you're lonely men. A lonely man chasing para-mastabatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance, which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself... passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?
Mulder: ...Para-mastabatory?

"The X-Files: Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose (#3.4)" (1995)
Clyde Bruckman: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.
Mulder: Why are you telling me that?
Clyde Bruckman: Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none of my business.

Mulder: If coincidences are just coincidences, why do they feel so contrived?

Clyde Bruckman: You'll find the woman tomorrow morning, by the fat little white Nazi stormtrooper at Glen View Lake. Her body is floating in Glen View Lake. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I've seen enough death for one night.
[cut to next scene; a body is being pulled from the water, Mulder is looking at a large round propane tank]
Mulder: Be honest, Scully. Doesn't that propane tank bear more than just a slight resemblance to a fat little white Nazi stormtrooper?
Scully: Mulder, the human mind naturally seeks meaningful patterns and configurations in things that don't inherently have any. Given the suggestion of a particular image, you can't help but see that shape somewhere. If that tank weren't there you'd see it in a, in a rock or in a tree...
Mulder: Would you answer my question?
Scully: [grudgingly] Yes, it looks like a fat little white Nazi storm trooper, but that only proves my point!

[Mr. Bruckman is looking down at the carpet]
Mulder: What is it? What do you see?
Clyde Bruckman: He's having sex with her. There.
Scully: Is he raping her?
Clyde Bruckman: Oh no, no no, not at all, in fact she's instigating the whole thing.
Mulder: Then what's wrong?
Clyde Bruckman: [wistfully] Oh, sometimes it just seems that everyone's having sex except for me.

Mulder: Step inside, Mr. Bruckman.
Clyde Bruckman: Why? What is this all about?
Mulder: A murder was committed here earlier this evening, and we have reason to believe that it was committed by the same person who murdered the women that you found. Is there anything that you can tell us about it?
Clyde Bruckman: I didn't do it.
Mulder: You're not under suspicion, but I do harbor a suspicion that you can see things about this crime, things that we can't see.
Clyde Bruckman: I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
Mulder: I think you do.
Clyde Bruckman: Yeah, right. I'd like to see both of your badges again. Right now.
[Mulder and Scully show Clyde their badges]
Dana Scully: I don't blame you, Mr. Bruckman.
Clyde Bruckman: [looking at Mulder's badge] I'm supposed to believe that's a real name?

Mulder: [Clyde is in the bathroom throwing up after having a vision of the murder] Pinch me.
Dana Scully: This guy's performing the same routine as the Stupendous Yappi. He's just doing it in a different style.
Mulder: No. Something told me, Scully, something *is* telling me this guy's for real.
Dana Scully: Oh, so now you're psychic?

Clyde Bruckman: The killer's going to kill more people before you catch him.
Dana Scully: Can you see him physically yet?
Clyde Bruckman: No, no. Just more insight into his character which I know you hate. He thinks he's psychic.
Mulder: Is he?
Clyde Bruckman: I hope not! I've seen some of the things he's seen.
Mulder: Like what, what does he see?
[cut to shot of Mulder chasing after someone]
Clyde Bruckman: You. He sees you. Trying to catch him.
Mulder: Where does this take place?
Clyde Bruckman: In a kitchen.
[cut to Mulder stalking through a kitchen, gun raised]
Clyde Bruckman: You're looking around for someone. He's behind you now, but you don't know it. And he's stalking towards you, and, and - oh god!
Dana Scully: What, what do you see?
Clyde Bruckman: He's got a knife! It's got blood on it!
Mulder: Why don't I see him, what am I doing?
Clyde Bruckman: You're looking down. You stepped in a pie that's fallen to the floor. The killer comes up to you and - coconut cream.
Mulder: What?
Clyde Bruckman: The pie! Eh, coconut cream, or is it lemon meringue, I don't know, it's... not sure, it's hazy...
Mulder: Whatever, please continue!
Clyde Bruckman: As you're looking down, he comes up with the knife and - banana cream! Definitely banana cream.
Mulder: All right, I'm looking down at this banana cream pie and then what?
Clyde Bruckman: He sees himself, coming up to you from behind, and...
[in the vision the killer slashes Mulder's throat from behind]
Mulder: And? And what does he see?
Clyde Bruckman: Huh. Nothing. The visions of a madman.

Mulder: Do you remember the first time you foresaw someone's death?
Clyde Bruckman: 1959.
Mulder: What happened in 1959?
Clyde Bruckman: Buddy Holly's plane crashed.
Scully: You prognosticated Buddy Holly's death?
Clyde Bruckman: Oh god no. Why would I want to do that? But I did have a ticket to see him perform the next night. Actually I was a bigger fan of the Big Bopper than Buddy Holly. Chantilly Lace, that was the song.
Mulder: I'm not following.
Clyde Bruckman: The Big Bopper was not supposed to be on the plane with Buddy Holly. He won the seat from somebody else by flipping a coin for it.
Mulder: I'm still not following.
Clyde Bruckman: Imagine all the things that had to occur, not only in his life, but in everybody else's, to arrange it so that on that particular night, The Big Bopper would be in a position, to live or die, depending on a flipping coin. I became so obsessed with that idea, that I gradually became capable of seeing the specifics of everybody's death.
Scully: You know Mr. Bruckman, I'm not one who readily believes in that kind of thing, and if I was I still wouldn't believe *that* story.
Clyde Bruckman: I know it sounds crazy but I swear it's true: I was a bigger fan of the Big Bopper than Buddy Holly.

"The X-Files: Detour (#5.4)" (1997)
Scully: Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune.
Mulder: Doesn't matter, just sing anything.
Scully: [singing] Jeremiah was a bullfrog... Was a good friend of mine... Never understood a single word he said... But I helped him drink his wine...
Mulder: Chorus...
Scully: Joy to the world... All the boys and girls... Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea... Joy to you and me...

Scully: Mulder, we've got this conference. They're waiting.
Mulder: Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully...
Scully: You want me to tell them that you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar.
Mulder: Yes. You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that - unspoken. You know what I'm thinking!

Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone else who is already naked.
Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.

Agent Kinsley: Last year, was something of a personal revelation. We were doing an exercise called Team Builders where we were given two minutes to build a tower out of ordinary office furniture.
Stonecypher: When I stood on Mike's shoulders and I put that electric pencil sharpener on top of the pile... we both knew we could never have done it alone.
Mulder: [whispering to Scully] Kill me now.

Scully: However, I must remind you, this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment.
Mulder: Try any of that Tailhook crap on me Scully, and I'll kick your ass.

Stonecypher: Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?
Mulder: No, unfortunately around this time of year I usually develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.

Mulder: I don't wanna wrestle!
Scully: [chuckles] Come over here, I'm going to try to keep you warm.

"The X-Files: My Struggle (#10.1)" (2015)
[first lines]
Fox Mulder: [as narrator] My name is Fox Mulder. Since my childhood, I have been obsessed by a controversial global phenomenon. Since my sister disappeared when I was 12 years old... in what I believe was an alien abduction. My obsession took me to the FBI, where I investigated paranormal science cases through the auspices of a unit known as the X-Files. Through this unit, I could continue my work on the alien phenomenon, and the search for my missing sister. In 1993, the FBI sought to impugn my work, bringing in a scientist and medical doctor to debunk it... which only deepened my obsession for the better part of a decade, during which time that agent, Dana Scully, had her own faith tested. In 2002, in a change of direction and policy, the FBI closed the X-Files, and our investigation ceased. But my personal obsession did not.

Fox Mulder: [about the alien sightings] But we must ask ourselves... are they really a hoax? Are we truly alone? Or are we being lied to?

Fox Mulder: I need access to the X-Files.
Walter Skinner: Can you tell me what this is about?
Fox Mulder: It's about controlling the past to control the future. It's about fiction masquerading as fact.

Fox Mulder: [Mulder begins to summarize the grand conspiracy theory] No sooner had we defeated Germany than a new threat started appearing in skies over America, drawn to Earth by the latest threat to extinction: the H-bomb. Explosions acting as transducers, drawing alien life forms through wormholes in spaceships using electrogravitic propulsion. Advanced extraterrestrial species visiting us, concerned for mankind and the threat of our self-destruction, forestalling our annihilation through their own self-sacrifice. The crashes at Roswell. More importantly, places like Aztec. World leaders signed secret memos directing scientific studies of alien technology and biochemistry. Classified studies were done at military installations S4, Groom Lake, Wright-Patterson and Dulce, extracting alien tissue. Tests were done on unsuspecting human subjects, in elaborately staged abductions in craft using alien technology recovered from the downed saucers... including human hybridization through gene editing and forced implantation of alien embryos.
Sveta: Why do such a thing and lie about it... our own government?
Fox Mulder: Your own government lies as a matter of course, as a matter of policy... the Tuskegee experiments on black men in the '30s; Henrietta Lacks.
Sveta: What are they trying to do?
Dana Scully: That's the missing piece.
Tad O'Malley: But it's not hard to imagine... a government hiding, hoarding... alien technology for 70 years, at the expense of human life and the future of the planet. Driven not only by corporate greed, but... a darker objective.
Fox Mulder: The takeover of America.
Tad O'Malley: And then the world itself, by any means necessary, however violent... or cruel... or efficient. By severe drought brought on by weather wars conducted secretly using aerial contaminants and high-altitude electromagnetic waves, in a state of perpetual war to create problem-reaction-solution scenarios to distract, enrage and enslave American citizens at home with tools like the Patriot Act and the National Defense Authorization Act, which abridged the Constitution in the name of national security. The militarization of police forces in cities across the U.S. The building of prison camps by the Federal Emergency Management Agency with no stated purpose. The corporate takeover of food and agriculture, pharmaceuticals and health care, even the military, in clandestine agendas, to fatten, dull, sicken and control a populace already consumed by consumerism.
[President George W. Bush in montage clip: "And I encourage you all to go shopping more."]
Tad O'Malley: A government that taps your phone, collects your data and monitors your whereabouts with impunity. A government preparing to use that data against you when it strikes and the final takeover begins.
Dana Scully: The takeover of America.
Tad O'Malley: By a well-oiled and well-armed multinational group of elites that will cull, kill and subjugate.
Dana Scully: Happening as we sit here.
Tad O'Malley: It's happening all around us.
Fox Mulder: The other shoe waiting to drop.
Tad O'Malley: It'll probably start on a Friday. The banks will announce a security action necessitating their computers to go offline all weekend.
Fox Mulder: Digital money will disappear.
Sveta: They can just steal your money?
Fox Mulder: Followed by the detonation of strategic electromagnetic pulse bombs to knock out major grids.
Tad O'Malley: What will seem like an attack on America by terrorists or Russia.
Fox Mulder: Or a simulated alien invasion using alien replica vehicles that exist and are already in use.
Dana Scully: [skeptical] An alien invasion of the U.S.
Fox Mulder: The Russians tried it in '47.
Dana Scully: You can't say these things.
Tad O'Malley: I'm gonna say them tomorrow.

Fox Mulder: Scully, are you ready for this?
Dana Scully: I don't know there's a choice.

Fox Mulder: I think you're the O' Reilly Factor with a shop worn little gimmick.
Tad O'Malley: [sarcastic] What Bill O' Reilly knows about the truth could fill an eye dropper.

Tad O'Malley: I'm not some Johnny-come-lately to the UFO phenomenon, Mr. Mulder. Like yourself, I'm a true believer.
Fox Mulder: No, I only want to believe. Actual proof has been strangely hard to come by.

"The X-Files: One Breath (#2.8)" (1994)
Margaret Scully: Hello, Fox.
Scully: [smiles] Not Fox. Mulder.
[opens her eyes]
Mulder: How you feeling?
Scully: [suddenly, apologetically] Mulder, I don't remember anything. After Duane Barry...
Mulder: [shakes his head] Doesn't... doesn't matter.

Mulder: I brought you a present. Superstars of the Superbowls.
Scully: I knew there was a reason to live.

Mulder: I feel, Scully, that... you believe... you're not ready to go. And you've always had the strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my being here... will help bring you back. But I'm here.

Melissa Scully: I don't have to be psychic to see that you're in a very dark place. Much darker than where my sister is. Willingly walking deeper into darkness cannot help her at all. Only the light...
Mulder: [disgustedly] Enough! - with the harmonic convergence crap, okay, you're not *saying* anything to me.
Melissa Scully: [angrily] Why don't you just drop your cynicism and your paranoia and your defeat. You know, just because it's positive and good, doesn't mean it's silly or trite.

Mulder: Get that gun out of my face!
Mr. X: This high-capacity compact Sig Sauer .40 caliber weapon is pointed at your head to stress my insistence that your search for who put your partner on that respirator desist immediately!

Richard 'Ringo' Langly: You look down, Mulder. Tell you what, you're welcome to come over Satruday night. We're all hopping on the internet to nitpick the scientific inaccuracies of Earth 2.
Mulder: I'm doing my laundry.

Mulder: You. You gave me Cancer Man's location. You put your life in danger.
Skinner: Agent Mulder, every life, every day is in danger. That's just life.

"The X-Files: One Son (#6.12)" (1999)
FBI Deputy Director Alvin Kersh: Who burned those people?
Mulder: They burned themselves. With a choice made long ago by a conspiracy of men who thought they could sleep with the enemy. Only to awaken another enemy.
FBI Deputy Director Alvin Kersh: What the hell does that mean?
Mulder: It means the future is here, and all bets are off.

Mulder: Scully, you're making this personal.
Dana Scully: Because it is personal, Mulder. Because without the FBI personal interest is all that I have. And if you take that away than there is no reason for me to continue.

[being decontaminated for unknown reasons]
Mulder: There must be some kind of mistake, I signed up for the aromatherapy treatment.

[coincidentally meeting at Agent Fowley's apartment]
Mulder: What are you doing here?
The Cigarette-Smoking Man: Door was open; I came in.
Mulder: Interesting company you keep.
The Cigarette-Smoking Man: No more interesting than your apparent lingerie fetish.

Mulder: At one point you have to accept that... the only way those you love are going to survive... is if you give up...

Mulder: [Mulder pointing gun at CSM] You gave them your children. You gave them your wife. You sent them away... like they were things
The Cigarette-Smoking Man: We sent them away agent Mulder because it was the right thing to do

"The X-Files: The Host (#2.2)" (1994)
Dana Scully: Flatworms are what are known as obligate endoparasites. They live inside of the host, entering the body through the ingestion of larvae or eggs. They are not creatures that go around attacking people.
Fox Mulder: Well, that's good. I didn't want to have to tell Skinner that his murder suspect was a giant, blood-sucking worm.

Dana Scully: Platyhelminthis are often hermaphroditic. Mulder, this is amazing. It's vestigial features appear to be parasitic, but it has primate physiology. Where the hell did it come from?
Fox Mulder: I don't know, but it looks like I'm going to have to tell Skinner that his suspect is a giant, blood-sucking worm after all.

Fox Mulder: You know, sometimes, it just gets hard to smile through it when they ask you to bend down and grab your ankles. You know?
Dana Scully: It's not exactly as if you've ever tried to fit into the program.

Walter Skinner: The Justice Department has asked the suspect be transferred to an institution for a full psychiatric evaluation.
Fox Mulder: This is not a man, it's a monster! You can't put it in an institution.
Walter Skinner: What do you do with it, Agent Mulder? Put it in a zoo? It killed two people.

[at a sewage treatment plant]
Fox Mulder: And all the sewage comes through this plant?
Ray: Five hundred and sixty thousand people a day call my office on a porcelain telephone.

Fox Mulder: Have you ever seen one of these?
[holds up a specimen jar]
Ray: Looks like a big ol' worm.
Fox Mulder: It's called a fluke. It came from the body they pulled out of the sewer.
Ray: Wouldn't surprise me. No telling what's been breeding down there in the last hundred years.

"The X-Files: Founder's Mutation (#10.2)" (2016)
Dana Scully: Well, there is no victim. He killed himself.
Fox Mulder: Well, then, I'm sure he won't mind me talking to some of his friends. Here's someone he talked to every night. "Gupta."
Dana Scully: Dr. Sanjay is from western India. Gupta's a Marathi word. It means "secret."
Fox Mulder: How do you know that?
Dana Scully: I'm old-school, Mulder. Pre-Google.

Murphy: Let me remind you, Agents Mulder and Scully, dissemination of any classified material, either internally or publicly, will be dealt with harshly.
Fox Mulder: I'm familiar with Edward Snowden.

Dana Scully: This is what you suspected all along, but were afraid to articulate. Is this what you believe happened to me 15 years ago? When I got pregnant, when I had my baby? Was I just an incubator?
Fox Mulder: You're never "just" anything, to me, Scully.

Dana Scully: This is dangerous.
Fox Mulder: When has that ever stopped us before?

Fox Mulder: I blacked out after Goldman's eyes popped out of his sockets. Believe me, you can't unsee that.

Gupta: The truth
[touches Mulder's chest over his heart]
Gupta: is in here.
Fox Mulder: Yeah, I've heard something like that.

"The X-Files: Dreamland (#6.4)" (1998)
Mulder: It's all our questions. The proof that we've suspected but never been able to hold in our hands. That proof is here.
Scully: Mulder, it's the dim hope of finding that proof that's kept us in this car or one very muh like it for more nights than I care to remember. Driving hundreds, if not thousands of miles, through neighborhoods and cities and towns, where people are raising families and buying homes and playing with their kids and dogs and in short, living their lives. While we... we... we just keep driving.
Mulder: What is your point?
Scully: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car... settle down and live something approaching a normal life?
Mulder: This is a normal life.

Man In Black: [tapping on window] Please, step out of the car.
Mulder: [to Scully] You think if maybe we ignore him, he'll go away?
Man In Black: [tapping on window] Please, step out of the car.
Mulder: [to Scully] Guess not.

[looking into Fletcher's closet which only holds black suits]
Mulder: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Johnny Cash.

JoAnne Fletcher: Morris! What about Chris?
Mulder: [as Morris Fletcher] ... Chris?
Christine Fletcher: You said you'd give me an answer today.
JoAnne Fletcher: Her nose. You said you'd give her an answer about her nose.
Mulder: Um... I think... I think she's a little young for plastic surgery, don't you think?
[Chris begins sobbing]
JoAnne Fletcher: Oh for God's sake, Morris. A nose ring! She said she wants a nose ring!

JoAnne Fletcher: Who is Scully, Morris? Is it another woman?
Mulder: [as Morris Fletcher] Does Scully sound like a woman's name to you?

[last lines]

"The X-Files: Fire (#1.12)" (1993)
Mulder: Well, that's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh is that what you were extending?

Mulder: Sooner or later a man's gotta face his demons.

Mulder: There's something else I haven't told you about myself, Scully.
Mulder: I hate fire... I hate it. Scared to death of it. When I was a kid my best friend's house burned down... had to spend the night in the rubble to keep away looters. For years I had nightmares about being trapped in a burning building.

[about the car]
Mulder: It's opened.
Scully: What?
Mulder: It's unlocked. That's weird. I'm sure I locked it.
Scully: Must be an X-File.

Mulder: I'm cursed with a photographic memory.

"The X-Files: Shadows (#1.6)" (1993)
Mulder: Do you believe in the afterlife, Scully?
Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one.

Scully: You lied. You have seen it before, I can tell. You lied to them.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.
Scully: Who do you think they were?
Mulder: NSA, CIA, some convert organization that Congress will uncover in the next scandal. It's not important who they are but what they have and I'm sure they have no idea because they called us in. I have X-Files. Each case has an element of what we saw tonight. Residual electrostatic charge, internal mutilation without any corresponding external causality. But none has all the elements combined in one case.
Scully: How can the esophagus be crushed without the neck even being touched?
Mulder: Psychokinetic manipulation.
Scully: Psychokinesis? You mean how Carrie got even at the prom?

Mulder: [after having been in a car accident caused by Howard Graves's ghost] Hi. The paramedics check you out?
Scully: Yeah. I'm fine. Although I do have a standing-in-line-at-the-DMV-sized headache.
Mulder: Mine's more IRS sized.

Scully: [attempting to have a smudge on a surveillance photo clarified] Enhance it by 10.
[the tech does]
Scully: That's Howard Graves. He's alive.
Mulder: Not necessarily.

Scully: I think Howard Graves fabricated his own death.
Mulder: Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off, Elvis.
Scully: He and Lauren Kyte are in on something. Maybe an illegal deal through his company. Something the CIA was interested in.
Mulder: You may be right.
Scully: Wait, you think I'm right?
Mulder: Sure, all you got to do is prove that Howard Graves is still alive.

Mulder: Have you ever seen the liberty bell?
Scully: Yes.
Mulder: You know, I've been to Philadelphia a 100 times and I've never seen it.
Scully: You're not missing much. It's just a big bell with a big crack, and you have to wait in a long line.
Mulder: Yeah, but I'd really like to go.
Scully: Why now?
Mulder: I don't know. How late do you think they stay open?

"The X-Files: The Rain King (#6.8)" (1999)
[a rainmaker is losing control of his powers]
Mulder: I'll build the ark, you gather the animals.

Mulder: I do not *gaze* at Scully.

Mulder: He wants advice; dating advice.
Scully: Dating advice? From whom?
Mulder: Yours truly.
Scully: [long silence from Scully]
Mulder: Hello? Hey, Scully? Scully, you there?
Scully: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
Mulder: I will talk to you later.
Mulder: [Mulder hangs up]
Scully: The blind leading the blind.

Scully: So now you're saying that...
Mulder: Holdman Hardt is manufacturing the weather. Did you see how relieved he was when he learned that Daryl was drunk? I've been doing some checking. Holdman Hardt has been hospitalized 5 times with nervous exhaustion, each time coinciding with a major meteorological event.
Scully: Mulder, it is still a huge leap to say that he's manufacturing the weather.
Mulder: Most people will admit that the weather plays a significant role in the way they feel, right? There's even that disorder...
Scully: SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Mulder: Well, who's to say that it doesn't work the other way around, that the way someone feels can affect the weather, that the weather is somehow an expression of Holman Hardt's feelings. Or, or better still, the feelings that he's not expressing?

Daryl Mootz: [drunk, limping up to Mulder and Holman] Where's Shelia?
Mulder: Where's your leg?

Mulder: It's like looking in a mirror.

"The X-Files: Leonard Betts (#4.12)" (1997)
Fox Mulder: [on Leonard Bett's brain sections] Let's get a slice to go.

Fox Mulder: Worms. You cut a worm in half, you get two.
Dana Scully: Mulder, they're *worms*.

Fox Mulder: That's his head, but where's his body?

[On finding a severed thumb]
Mulder: Siskel or Ebert?

Fox Mulder: [having two identical bodies of Leonard Betts in the morgue] Will the real Leonard Betts please stand up?

[last lines]
Fox Mulder: You did a good job, Scully. You should be proud.
Dana Scully: I want to go home.

"The X-Files: The Truth: Parts 1 & 2 (#9.19)" (2002)
Guard: What are you thinking?
Mulder: About my son... about his mother.

Scully: Mulder, it's me.
Mulder: Oh. Is it time to go?
Scully: No. That's why I'm here. Mulder, I need you to talk to me. Confide in me... or we'll lose.
Mulder: We can't win, Scully. We can only hope to go down fighting.
Scully: You're scaring me. Mulder, I'm so scared that I've just got you back and now I'm going to lose you again.
Mulder: I know what I'm doing.
Scully: Well... whatever you're doing... you have no idea how much has already been lost... What I've had to do...
Mulder: I do know. Skinner told me.
Scully: Our son, Mulder... I gave him up. Our son. I'm so afraid you could never forgive me.
Mulder: I know you had no choice. I just missed both of you so much.
Scully: God, where have you been? Where have you been hiding?
Mulder: In New Mexico.
Scully: Doing what?
Mulder: Looking for The Truth.
Scully: You found something, didn't you? Huh? What did you find?
Mulder: I can't tell you.
Scully: You found something in that facility? That's what you were doing, right? Mulder, what did you find out there?
Mulder: Scully, I can't tell you.
Scully: That doesn't make sense.
Mulder: You've got to trust me, Scully. I know things. It's better you don't.

John Doggett: Get up.
Mulder: Who's there?
John Doggett: I'm here with Skinner. Get up.
Skinner: Move it, Mulder.
Mulder: What are you doing?
John Doggett: We're getting you out of here. Come on.

Scully: What are you thinking? Mulder?
Mulder: I'm thinking... I'm a guilty man. I've failed in every respect. I deserve the harshest punishment for my crimes.
Scully: You don't believe that.
Mulder: I believe... that I sat in a motel room like this with you when we first met... and I tried to convince you of the truth. And in that respect, I succeeded, but... in every other way... I've failed.
Scully: You don't believe that, either.
Mulder: Mm. I've been chasing after monsters with a butterfly net. You heard the man - the date's set. I can't change that.
Scully: You wouldn't tell me. Not because you were afraid or broken... but because you didn't want to accept defeat.
Mulder: Well, I was afraid of what knowing would do to you. I was afraid that it would crush... your spirit.
Scully: Why would I accept defeat? Why would I accept it, if you won't? Mulder, you say that you've failed, but you only fail if you give up. And I know you - you can't give up. It's what I saw in you when we first met. It's what made me follow you... why I'd do it all over again.
Mulder: And look what it's gotten you.
Scully: And what has it gotten you? Not your sister. Nothing that you've set out for. But you won't give up, even now. You've always said that you want to believe. But believe in what Mulder? If this is the truth that you've been looking for, then what is left to believe in?
Mulder: I want to believe that... the dead are not lost to us. That they speak to us... as part of something greater than us - greater than any alien force. And if you and I are powerless now, I want to believe that if we listen, to what's speaking, it can give us the power to save ourselves.
Scully: Then we believe the same thing.
Mulder: Maybe there's hope.

Byers: Why risk perfect happiness, Mulder? Why risk your lives?
Mulder: Because I need to know the truth.
Byers: You already know the truth.

Mulder: Why are you helping me?
Krycek: Because you can't do this alone.

"The X-Files: Small Potatoes (#4.20)" (1997)
Amanda Nelligan: He dropped by my apartment one day and... one thing sort of led to another.
Mulder: But the baby's father is an alien.
Amanda Nelligan: No, no, I didn't say he was an alien. I said he's from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what is known as a Jedi knight.
Scully: Did he have a lightsaber?
Amanda Nelligan: No, he didn't bring it. He did sing his song for me though.
Scully: How many times have you seen Star Wars, Amanda?
Amanda Nelligan: 368. I should break 400 by Memorial Day.
Scully: Okay. Thank you.
Amanda Nelligan: Oh, wait a minute. Wait. You know these... these four other babies that were... born around here with tails.
Scully: Uh-huh.
Amanda Nelligan: There couldn't be any chance... Luke's the father, is there?

Scully: I don't imagine you need to be told this, Mulder, but you're not a loser.
Mulder: Yeah, but I'm not Eddie van Blundht either, am I?

Mulder: [Blundht disguised as Mulder, seeing the 'I Want To Believe poster] This is where my tax dollars goes?

Mulder: I have a theory. Do you want to hear it?
Scully: Van Blundht somehow physically transformed into his captor and walked out the door, leaving no one the wiser?
Mulder: Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?

Mulder: What did you wanna talk to me about, Eddie?
Eddie Van Blundht: I just think it's funny.
Eddie Van Blundht: I was born a loser, but you're one by choice.

"The X-Files: Redux II (#5.2)" (1997)
Skinner: They're cleaning up, taking everything away.
Mulder: Not everything. Scully's cancer's gone into remission.
Skinner: That's unbelievable news.
Mulder: It's the best news I could have ever heard.

Mulder: [answering the phone after a confrontation with Scully's brother at the hospital] One sorry son of a bitch speaking.

Scully: [a Catholic priest enters Scully's hospital room] You'll be in my prayers.
Mulder: [Rising to leave] Have the Father say a few "Hail Mulder"'s for me.

[Meeting the Cigarette Smoking Man in the hospital where Scully is]
Mulder: Please tell me you're here with severe chest pains.

Senior Agent: Agent Mulder, the Section Chief asked you a question you are going to answer!
Mulder: I can't do that!
Senior Agent: You can and you will!
Mulder: I can't do that sir, because the Section Chief is the man I'm about to name!
[Blevins eyes shoot wide open. All look at him. Skinner looks at Mulder. Mulder sits back in his chair, there, he's done it]
Mulder: [the Cigarette Smoking Man stares, depressed, at a photograph of Samantha and Mulder as kids. He looks out the window just as a shot is fired from across the street]
[Blevins rushes in and shuts the door behind him. There's a man in at his desk on the phone. He hangs up and stands. Blevins rushes to the desk to confront him, he's confronted with a bullet to the chest instead. The shooter puts the gun in Blevins hand after wiping off the fingerprints with a ShamWow cloth and leaves]
Mulder: [Cigarette Smoking Man lies on the floor presumably bleeding to death, holding the photograph of Samantha and Mullder as he falls unconscious]
[Scene fades out to black]

"The X-Files: The Unnatural (#6.19)" (1999)
Scully: Mulder, it's such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?
Mulder: I've seen the life on this planet Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere.

Mulder: Did you bring enough ice cream to share with the rest of the class?
Scully: It's not ice cream... it's non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicle.
Mulder: Ugh... I bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that.

Scully: I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Mulder: Well, I won't sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.
Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.
Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Scully: Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we may die.
Mulder: I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicles.

Mulder: Now don't strangle it, you just wanna shake hands with it. "Hello, Mr. Bat. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." "Oh, no-no Miss Scully, the pleasure is all mine."

[teaching Scully baseball, pressed up against her]
Mulder: It's not a bad piece of ash, huh?
[Scully glares]
Mulder: ...The bat... I'm talking about the bat.

"The X-Files: Quagmire (#3.22)" (1996)
Scully: Nature's calling, I think we should pull over soon.
Mulder: Did you really have to bring that thing?
Scully: You wake me up on a Saturday morning, tell me to be ready in five minutes, my mother's out of town, all of the dog sitters are booked and you know how I feel about kennels. So, unless you want to lose your security deposit on the car, I suggest you pull over.

Scully: I called him Ahab and he called me Starbuck. So I named my dog Queequeg. It's funny, I just realised something.
Mulder: It's a bizarre name for a dog, huh?
Scully: No. How much you're like Ahab. You're so... consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology.
Mulder: Scully, are you coming on to me?

Scully: You know, on the old mariners' maps, the cartographers would designate uncharted territory by writing "here be monsters."
Mulder: I've got a map of New York City just like that.

[On sea monsters]
Mulder: Sounds like you know a little something about the subject.
Scully: I did as a kid, but then I grew up and became a scientist.

Mulder: Hey Scully, do you you think you could ever cannibalize someone? I mean, if you really had to?
Scully: Well, as much as the very idea is abhorrent to me, I suppose, under certain conditions, a living entity is practically conditioned to perform whatever extreme measures are necessary to ensure its survival. I suppose I'm no different.
Mulder: You've lost some weight recently, haven't you?
Scully: Yeah, actually, I have. Thanks for notic...
[she stops and gives him a look]

"The X-Files: Blood (#2.3)" (1994)
Frohike: So Mulder, where's your little partner?
Mulder: She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you.

Mulder: [in response to some suggestive remarks about Scully] Frohlike, it's men like you that give perversion a bad name.

Mulder: Fear. It's the oldest tool of power. If you're distracted by the fear of those around you, it keeps you from seeing the actions of those above.

Mulder: Mrs. McRoberts?
Bonnie McRoberts: Yes.
Mulder: This is Sheriff Spencer, and I'm Agent Fox Mulder, with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. May we come in?
Bonnie McRoberts: I'm late for work.
Mulder: You can blame me.

Richard 'Ringo' Langly: Obviously, you haven't read our August edition of TLG.
Mulder: Oh, I'm sorry boys. It arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity Skin.

"The X-Files: E.B.E. (#1.17)" (1994)
Byers: He's being put into power by the most heinous and evil force of the 20th century.
Mulder: Barney?

Mulder: I tied up an air phone for three hours. I don't speak Japanese, but I think some businessman told me to stick a piece of sushi where the sun don't shine.

Ringo Langly: Check it out, Mulder: I had breakfast with the guy who shot John F. Kennedy.
Mulder: Is that so?
Ringo Langly: Old dude now, but yeah. Said he was dressed as a cop on the grassy knoll.

[Ringo picks up the phone and turns on the tape recorder]
Ringo Langly: Lone Gunmen.
Mulder: It's Mulder. Turn the tape recorder off.
Ringo Langly: [pauses] Okay, it's off.
Mulder: Turn it off!
Ringo Langly: It's off, already!

Mulder: I'm wondering which lie to believe.

"The X-Files: Hollywood A.D. (#7.19)" (2000)
Garry Shandling: Do you dress to the left or to the right?
Fox Mulder: Wh... huh... what do you mean?
Garry Shandling: Look, when I play a character, I need to find his center, his sort of rudder, so to say. And then every thing comes from that.
Fox Mulder: I guess mostly to the left.
Garry Shandling: Mostly?
Fox Mulder: Most of the time.
Garry Shandling: Most of the time... To the left... Wardrobe!

Wayne Federman: It's actually... It's a writer-slash-producer.
Mulder: Well, that's actually just a hindrance-slash-pain-in-the-neck.

Wayne Federman: Just curious if she's more than your partner.
Mulder: Enough, Wayne.
Wayne Federman: Hey, whatever.

Wayne Federman: Looks like your underground hero went from counterculture to counterfeiter.
Fox Mulder: One more pun and I pull out my gun.

Fox Mulder: You know Scully, I was just thinking about Lazarus, Ed Wood, and those Tofurkey-eatin' zombies. How come when people come back from the dead, they always wanna hurt the living?
Scully: Well, that's because people can't really come back from the dead, Mulder. I mean, ghosts and zombies are just projections of our own repressed cannibalistic and sexual fears and desires. They are who we fear that we are at heart. Just mindless automatons who can only kill and eat.
Fox Mulder: Party pooper. Well, I got a new theory. I say that when zombies try to eat people, that's just the first stage. You see, they've just come back from being dead, so they're gonna do all the things they missed from when they were alive. So first, they're gonna eat. Then, they're gonna drink. Then, they're gonna dance and make love.
Scully: Oh, I see. So, it's just that we never get to stay with them long enough to see the gentler side of the undead.
Fox Mulder: Exactly.

"The X-Files: Kill Switch (#5.11)" (1998)
Mulder: Call my doctor. You have to call my doctor. Call Doctor Scully.

Scully: Mulder, that's evidence.
[looking at a laptop Mulder has stolen from a crime scene]
Mulder: Gee, I hope so.

[meeting The Lone Gunmen]
Esther Nairn: Are these the brain donors that nearly got us incinerated?
Mulder: Don't let their looks fool you.

[handcuffed, in front of a computer]
Esther Nairn: Are you gonna take off these cuffs or do I have to do this with my tongue?
[the Lone Gunmen gawk]
Mulder: You don't want to take a vote.

Mulder: Artificial life... It could exist. It could be here among us. Evolving.
Scully: Electrons chasing each other through a circuit? That isn't life, Mulder.
Mulder: Yeah but what are we but impulses? Electrical and chemical, through a bag of meat and bones. You're the scientist; you tell me.

"The X-Files: Drive (#6.2)" (1998)
Mulder: Well, on behalf of the International Jewish Conspiracy, I just need to inform you that we're... almost out of gas.

Mulder: [to P. Crump] ... and it's Mr. Mulder to you, ya peanut picking bastard.

[Mulder slows down for a stoplight]
Patrick Crump: What the hell are you doing?
Mulder: I'm composing a sonnet; what does it look like I'm doing?

Mulder: Crump, what else can you tell me about what's happening to you?
Patrick Crump: Mr. Crump. You call me by my last name you say "mister" in front of it.
Mulder: Mister. Gotcha.
Patrick Crump: Not Crump. Mr. Crump.
Mulder: I can think of something else I'd like to call you. I can put "mister" in front of that too if you'd like.

Mulder: How about you just pull over and let me out too, huh? I must be crampin' your style.

"The X-Files: Closure (#7.11)" (2000)
Mulder: He's okay. It's okay.
Harold Piller: My son? You saw my son?
Mulder: He's dead. They're all dead, Harold. Your son, Amber Lynn, and my sister.
Harold Piller: No.
Mulder: Harold, you see so much, but you refuse to see him. You refuse to let him go. But you have to let him go now, Harold. He's protected. He's in a better place. They're all in a better place. We both have to let go, Harold.

Scully: Mulder, what happened? Are you sure you're all right?
Mulder: I'm free.

Mulder: [voiceover] They said the birds refused to sing and the thermometer fell suddenly as if God Himself had His breath stolen away. No one there dared speak aloud, as much in shame as in sorrow. They uncovered the bodies one by one. The eyes of the dead were closed as if waiting for permission to open them. Were they still dreaming of ice cream and monkey bars? Of birthday cake and no future but the afternoon? Or had their innocence been taken along with their lives buried in the cold earth so long ago? These fates seemed too cruel, even for God to allow. Or are the tragic young born again when the world's not looking? I want to believe so badly; in a truth beyond our own hidden and obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes...

Mulder: [voiceover] In the endless procession of souls... in what cannot and will not be destroyed. I want to believe we are unaware of God's eternal recompense and sadness. That we cannot see His truth. That that which is born still lives and cannot be buried in the cold earth. But only waits to be born again at God's behest... where in ancient starlight we lay in repose.

Mulder: [from sister's diary] I hope someday he reads this, and knows I wish I could see his face for real.

"The X-Files: Deep Throat (#1.2)" (1993)
[Mulder and Scully have just asked two teens if they saw a flying saucer]
Scully: Mulder, did you see their eyes? If I were that stoned...
Mulder: Ooh! If you were that stoned, what?
Scully: Mulder, you could've shown that kid a picture of a flying hamburger and he would've told that's *exactly* what he saw.

Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, why are those like yourself who believe in the existence of extra-terrestrial life on this earth not dissuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?
Mulder: Because, all the evidence to the contrary is not entirely dissuasive.
Deep Throat: Precisely!
Mulder: They're here, aren't they?
Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, *they*'ve been here for a long, long time.

Scully: I don't get it Mulder. Does this have something to do with an X-File? I thought you only liked those paranormal type cases. Am I missing something here?
Mulder: Let's just say, this case has a distinct smell to it, a certain... paranormal bouquet.

Zoe: [about a picture of a UFO, which she claims took herself] I'm selling limited edition prints, twenty dollars. Down to my last five, if you're interested.
Mulder: Put it on my tab.
Scully: [Leans over to Mulder] Sucker.
Mulder: What would the chances be of someone like me, seeing a UFO?
Scully: Catch ye outside.
[Outside the diner, Scully is looking at a map, Mulder comes out]
Scully: Wanna see something weird, Mulder? Ellens Air Base isn't even on my US GS quadrant map.
Mulder: I know. Let's go.
Scully: You know. Where are we going?
Mulder: We got our own map, sucker.
[He gives her a piece of paper with a roughly drawn map on it]

Mulder: You saw exactly what I saw in the sky tonight. What do you think they were?
Scully: Just because I can't explain it, doesn't mean I'm gonna believe they were UFOs.
Mulder: Unidentified Flying Objects, I think that fits the description pretty well. Tell me I'm crazy.
Scully: Mulder, you're crazy.

"The X-Files: Piper Maru (#3.15)" (1996)
Wayne Morgan: What the hell is that?
Fox Mulder: Looks like the fuselage of a plane.
Dana Scully: It's a North American P-51 Mustang.
Wayne Morgan: Yeah, sure is.
Fox Mulder: I just got very turned on.

Scully: I'm just constantly amazed by you. You're working down here in the basement, sifting through files and transmissions that any other agent would just throw away in the garbage.
Mulder: Well, that's why I'm in the basement, Scully.
Scully: You're in the basement because they're afraid of you, of your relentlessness, and because they know that they could drop you in the middle of the desert and tell you the truth is out there, and you'd ask them for a shovel.

Jeraldine Kallenchuk: Actually, it's none of your damn business.
Fox Mulder: Actually, you know, it is my damn business, because whatever it is you're selling is killing two Navy servicemen in a hospital back in Maryland, which is why I'm going to have to arrest you.
Jeraldine Kallenchuk: Arrest me? With what, your chopsticks? This is Hong Kong, Mr. Mulder, they don't allow handguns here. They took yours away at the airport.
[He handcuffs her left wrist, and shows the other cuff attached to his right]
Jeraldine Kallenchuk: Hey! You can't do that!
Fox Mulder: I just did.

Jeraldine Kallenchuk: You're violating my civil rights!
Fox Mulder: You gave up your civil rights when you committed treason.

"The X-Files: All Souls (#5.17)" (1998)
Fox Mulder: And why would God allow this to happen? Why do bad things happen to good people? Religion has masqueraded as the paranormal since the dawn of time to justify some of the most horrible acts in history.
Dana Scully: I was raised to believe that God has His reasons however mysterious.
Fox Mulder: He may well have His reasons, but He seems to use a lot of psychotics to carry out His job orders.

Fox Mulder: [Speaking to Father Gregory who is praying inside an interrogation room] What are you asking for, Father? Mercy or forgiveness? You know... they say when you talk to God it's prayer, but when God talks to you it's schizophrenia. What is your God telling you, Father?

Mulder: You know, they say when you talk to God it's prayer, but when God talks to you, it's schizophrenia.

Fox Mulder: I can't believe how easily persuaded you are today, Scully!

"The X-Files: Soft Light (#2.23)" (1995)
Scully: There's no sign of him, Mulder. Maybe he's moved on. What are you looking at?
Mulder: On the videotape, Dr. Banton kept staring at the floor. I've been trying to figure out what he might have been looking at.
Scully: Well, maybe the exposure affected his mind. Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness.
Mulder: You trying to tell me something?

Mulder: He believes the government is out to get him.
Mr. X: It's tax season, so do most Americans.

Mulder: Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Mulder: Hey Scully, can you spare a prophylactic?

"The X-Files: The End (#5.20)" (1998)
Fox Mulder: You know, when I first met you I figured you were just ambitious. Then this morning my opinion changed and I thought you were arrogant. Now I'm beginning to wonder what you're protecting.
FBI Special Agent Jeffrey Spender: I'm just trying to run this thing right. Not like some ridiculous, paranormal free-for-all.
Fox Mulder: You're insulting me when you should be taking notes. Somehow you got the big assignment, but just because you're wearing the suit doesn't mean it fits. You're lucky you're not busy diffusing an international incident, kissing some serious Russian ass and sending a whole lot of agents barking down a whole lot of bad leads. Now the kid is the key to this. And the shooter knows why. Excuse me.

Skinner: So this kid is a human oddity. Would someone please tell me why anyone would go to such great lengths as to kill him?
Mulder: This kid may be the key not just to all human potential, but to all spiritual unexplained paranormal phenomena. The key to everything in The X-Files.

Fox Mulder: Wow, you know you're going places in the bureau when the assistant director tidies up your office for you.

Gibson Andrew Praise: I don't mind it here. They get all the good TV shows. Where I live in the Philippines all we get is Baywatch.
Fox Mulder: What's wrong with Baywatch?
Gibson Andrew Praise: ...You've got a dirty mind.

"The X-Files: Patient X (#5.13)" (1998)
Mulder: One more anal-probing gyro-pyro levitating ecoplasm alien anti-matter story and I'm going to take out my gun and shoot somebody.

Mulder: I don't think you understand. There's just too much evidence that it's all been a lie. The conspiracy is not to hide the existence of extraterrestrials. It's to make people believe in it so completely that they question nothing.
Dr. Heitz Werber: So, you and I have just been advocates of insanity all along? Is this the extreme possibility you believe in now?

Mulder: Do I look like I'm having fun, Scully?
Scully: You look constipated, actually.
Mulder: That would make sense, I've had my head up my rear end for the last five years.

Mulder: You know, you try to reveal what's hidden, you try to incite people with the facts, but they'd rather believe some insane nonsense, refusing to believe what our government is capable of.

"The X-Files: Triangle (#6.3)" (1998)
Mulder: I don't speak Nazi!

Mulder: Hey, Scully.
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: I love you.
Scully: Oh, brother.

Mulder: [when being apprehended by the Nazis] Yeah, you're all big men now, but wait until you get to Russia. I hope you fellas like the cold!

Mulder: [after Scully slaps him] I was expecting the left.

"The X-Files: F. Emasculata (#2.22)" (1995)
Skinner: For every step you take they're three steps ahead.
Mulder: What about you, where do you stand?
Skinner: I stand right on the line you keep crossing.

Scully: According to the briefing, the prisoners escaped while hiding in a laundry cart.
Mulder: I don't think the guards have been watching enough prison movies.

Mulder: Hey, listen Scully, I need to know how this happened. I want you to start documenting everything you can get your hands on. People have to know about the cover-up.
Scully: The public?
Mulder: It's a public health crisis.
Scully: Mulder, we can't leak this. Not until we know more. The futigive that you're looking for, he might not even be infected.
Mulder: Yeah, but what if he is?
Scully: If this gets out prematurely, the panic is gonna spread faster than the contagion. Mulder, we can't let this be known.
Mulder: What if someone dies because we withheld what we knew?
Scully: What if someone dies because we didn't? There'll be a time for the truth, Mulder, but this isn't it.

Mulder: Why weren't we told the truth?
Cigarette Smoking Man: We didn't know the truth. What we knew only would have slowed you down.
Mulder: But innocent people could be infected! What you knew could have prevented that!
Cigarette Smoking Man: How? In 1988 there was an outbreak of hemorrhagic fever in Sacramento, California. The truth would have caused panic. Panic would have caused lives. We controlled the disease by controlling the information.
Mulder: You can't protect the public by lying to them.
Cigarette Smoking Man: It's done everyday.

"The X-Files: All Things (#7.17)" (2000)
Mulder: I don't think you can know. I mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices. We... we don't know.
Scully: What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong? And there were signs along the way to pay attention to.
Mulder: Mmm. And all the... choices would then lead to this very moment. One wrong turn, and... we wouldn't be sitting here together. Well, that says a lot. That says a lot, a lot, a lot. That's probably more than we should be getting into at this late hour.

Scully: Mulder, look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. Why don't you ever just stay still?
Mulder: I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.

Scully: What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong? And there were signs along the way to pay attention to.
Mulder: Mmm. And all the choices would then lead to this very moment. One wrong turn, and we wouldn't be sitting here together. Well, that says a lot. That says a lot, a lot, a lot.

Scully: umm... and I didn't say that God spoke back . I said that I had some kind of a vision.
Mulder: For you that's like saying that you are having David Crosby's baby.

"The X-Files: Nisei (#3.9)" (1995)
Mulder: Come on in.
Scully: What are you watching?
Mulder: Something that just came in the mail.
Scully: That's not your usual brand of entertainment... What is it?
Mulder: According to the magazine ad I answered, it's an alien autopsy. Guaranteed authentic.
Scully: You spent money for this?
Mulder: $29.95... plus shipping.
Scully: Mulder, this is even hokier than the one they aired on the Fox network, you can't even see what they're operating on!
Mulder: But it does look authentic, I mean the settings, the procedures. I mean it does look as if an actual autopsy is being prepared, doesn't it?
Scully: Well, technically, I don't know why they would be wearing gas masks.
Mulder: Well, maybe it's because of this green substance they seem to be extracting from the subject. Can you identify that?
Scully: Olive oil? Snake oil? I suppose you think it's alien blood?
Mulder: It's widely held that aliens don't have blood, Scully.
Scully: I guess this begs the question; if this is an alien autopsy...
Mulder: - where's the alien. But what so intriguing to me is the striking lack of detail here.
Scully: Well, what do you expect for $29.95?

Scully: I went to go see those MUFON members to find out about that woman, Betsy Hagopian.
Mulder: And what did you find?
Scully: I found out that she's dying. Along with a lot of other women who claim to be dying too. All of them who say that they've had these implanted in them. It's the same thing that I had removed from my own neck.
Mulder: But you're fine aren't you, Scully?
Scully: Am I? I don't know, Mulder. They said that they know me. That they've seen me before. It was freaky. They know things about me, about my disappearance.
Mulder: That is disturbing. But I don't think you should freak out until we find out what this thing is.

Mulder: I get tired of losing my gun.

Mulder: You think that believing is easy?

"The X-Files: First Person Shooter (#7.13)" (2000)
Fox Mulder: [to the Lone Gunmen] If I were you guys, right now I'd be checking my shorts for cake.

Mulder: Maybe out past where the imagination ends, our true natures lie, waiting to be confronted on their own terms. Out where the intellect is at war with the primitive brain, in the hostile territory of the digital world, where laws are silent and rules disappear in the midst of arms. Born in anarchy with an unquenchable bloodthirst we shudder to think what might rise up from the darkness.

Fox Mulder: [Mulder prepares to enter the gamezone] Bring it on.

Dana Scully: Dressing up like high-tech warriors to play a futuristic version of cowboys & indians? What kind of moron gets his ya-yas out like that?
Fox Mulder: [points to himself]
Dana Scully: Mulder, what purpose does this game serve except to add to a culture of violence in a country that's already out of control?
Fox Mulder: Who says it adds to it?
Dana Scully: You think that taking up weapons and creating gratuitous virtual mayhem has any redeeming value whatsoever? I mean, that the testosterone frenzy that it creates stops when the game does?
Fox Mulder: Well, that's rather sexist, isn't it? I mean, maybe the game provides an outlet for certain impulses that it fills a void in our genetic makeup that the more civilizing effects of society fail to provide for.
Dana Scully: Well, that must be why men feel the great need to blast the crap out of stuff.

"The X-Files: Empedocles (#8.17)" (2001)
Mulder: You can't help a man who can't help himself.

Scully: Mulder, you never fail to surprise me. I just wish I felt like eating it right now.
Mulder: That's cool. We can just wait for the cheese to congeal and eat it later. You miss your regular pizza man, don't you?
Scully: Yes. That's okay. He's coming by later.
Mulder: I bet you forgot about that, didn't you?
Scully: No, I didn't, actually. I thought about it a lot, while I was lying in my hospital bed, wondering what on earth you could have given me.
Mulder: And?
Scully: Oh, my God. Oh, Mulder.
Mulder: Is it what you imagined?
Scully: Not even close.
Mulder: Oh, my, that's the wrong doll, actually.
Scully: But then that's the other gift that you gave me, Mulder. Courage... to believe. And I hope that's a gift I can pass on.

Mulder: When I first came to work with the FBI I worked in violent crimes. I saw the worst of humanity; I saw monsters, and I wondered how they became that way - how these men became so evil. And there are psychological explanations: victims of their environment, victims of their parents, but the scientific explanations were never truly satisfied. And I began to think about evil like a disease, how it goes from man to man or age to age. Most of us walk around thinking that we're incapable of any acts of evil, and we are. We can stifle that momentary urge to kill or to hurt, we have some kind of immunity to it. But I think it's possible that there's an occurrence in somebody's life, a tragedy or a loss, that leaves them vulnerable; hurts their immunity to evil. And all of a sudden, at that point in their lives when they're weakened, they're open to evil... and they can become evil.

Scully: Is that for me?
Mulder: Yeah.
Scully: Nice package!

"The X-Files: Tooms (#1.21)" (1994)
[Skinner talks to Mulder in private]
Walter Skinner: Agent Scully, may I have a word with Agent Mulder, please?
[Scully leaves the room; the Cigarette Smoking Man stubs out a cigarette and lights a new one. Skinner takes off his glasses and sits next to Mulder]
Walter Skinner: Fox... you are one of the finest, most unique agents in the nearly sixty-year history of this institution. I mean, we were talking about you when you were in the academy. Now, most of us, including the director, feel that your talents are wasted on the X-Files. But we respect that you're deeply invested in those areas. But if these areas are creating such stress as to not only cause you to act inappropriately, but those agents close to you as well, then may I advise you to step away... for a while. Clear your head, take an extended vacation.
Fox Mulder: That's a good idea. Thanks for your concern.
[realizing he's not getting through, Skinner goes back to his desk and puts his glasses back on]
Walter Skinner: [quietly] You're forbidden to go near Eugene Tooms.
[Mulder gets up and prepares to leave]
Walter Skinner: Mulder...
[Mulder stops]
Walter Skinner: This was close. Any closer and a thousand friends at the Capitol won't be able to help you.

Mulder: You can get the next mutant.

[trying to distract Eugene Tooms]
Mulder: Excuse me. Could you help me find my dog? He's a Norwegian Elkhound. His name is Heinrick. I use him to hunt moose!

Fox Mulder: Do you have that sandwich I asked you to bring?
Dana Scully: It's liverwurst.
Dana Scully: Mulder, you know that proper surveillance requires two pairs of agents, one pair relieving the other after 12 hours.
Fox Mulder: Article 30, paragraph 8.7?
Dana Scully: This isn't about doing it by the book. This is about you not having slept for three days. Mulder, you're gonna get sloppy and you're gonna get hurt. It's inevitable at this point.
Fox Mulder: A request for other agents to stake out Tooms would be denied. 'Til then, we have no grounds.
Dana Scully: Well then, I'll stay here. You go home.
Fox Mulder: They're out to put an end to the X-Files, Scully. I don't know why, but any excuse will do. I don't really care about my record, but you'd be in trouble just sitting in this car. And I'd hate to see you carry an official reprimand in your career file because of me.
Dana Scully: Fox...
Fox Mulder: [Rueful laughing] I... I... even made my parents call me Mulder. So... Mulder.
Dana Scully: Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you.
Fox Mulder: If there's an iced tea in that bag, it could be love.
Dana Scully: Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer.

"The Simpsons: The Springfield Files (#8.10)" (1997)
Mulder: Mr. Simpson, we want you to recreate your every move the night you saw the alien.
Homer: The evening began at the gentlemen's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Happy?

Mulder: Look at this, Scully: there has been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
Scully: Well, gee Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.

Mulder: [after subjecting Homer to a physical and numerous medical tests, Scully has set him on a treadmill] Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?
Scully: No point. I just figured he could stand to lose some weight.
Mulder: [Seeing the movement of Homer's belly] His jigglin is almost hypnotic.
Scully: Yes. It's like a lava lamp.

Mulder: Are we alone in the universe? Impossible. When you consider the wonders that exist all around us... voodoo priests of Haiti, the Tibetan numerologists of Appalachia, the unsolved mysteries of Unsolved Mysteries... The truth is out there.

"The X-Files: Chimera (#7.16)" (2000)
Mulder: Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, please tell me I can go home.
Mulder: Oh, hey, Scully. How's the stakeout?
Scully: Well, the furnace broke and I can just about see my breath in here.
Mulder: Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.
Scully: That... and I've witnessed a couple hundred things I'd like to erase from my brain. Eww. But as of yet, no mystery woman.
Mulder: Well, she'll come, you know? It's just a matter of time. She'll show up - I'm sure of that.
Scully: Yeah, well not before I die of malnutrition.
Mulder: Hey, Scully, tough it out. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Right? No, no, no, no. No capers, thank you.
Scully: I'm sorry. What?
Mulder: I said, "What a... what a crazy caper." I'll talk to you later... and, uh, keep warm. Bye.

Ellen Adderly: Do you have a... a significant other?
Mulder: Um, not in the widely understood definition of that term.

Mulder: Mulder.
Scully: Mulder. I am free.
Mulder: You're free?
Scully: Mm-hmm. I'm going to go home, take a shower for, I don't know eight or nine hours, burn the clothes that I'm wearing and then... sleep until late spring.
Mulder: Oh, you solved the X-File.
Scully: Yes, except it's not an X-File, Mulder.
Mulder: What are you saying? You didn't catch our blonde mystery serial killer?
Scully: Oh, no, we caught her, but she isn't a serial killer, nor is she a blonde, and she isn't even a she.
Mulder: What are you talking about?
Scully: What I'm talking about is the six missing prostitutes aren't dead, Mulder. They are alive and well in a halfway house that was set up by this mystery blonde who happens to go by the name of Mark Scott Egbert and Mr Egbert wishes to acquaint lost souls with the teachings of Christ and that's his hook, I guess. He dresses up like a fellow prostitute to make the girls feel at ease, but this vanishing act is no more paranormal than a change of wardrobe, Mulder. He goes into a place like a, like a woman and he comes out as a man, right under...
Mulder: ...our noses.
Scully: Exactly. A wolf in sheep's clothing or I guess, in this case, a sheep in wolf's clothing.
Mulder: Well, good work, Scully. I'll call you back later.

Scully: Mulder when you find me dead, my dessicated corpse propped up staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and vomiting into the gutter, just know that my last thoughts were of you... and how I'd like to kill you.
Mulder: I'm sorry. Who is this?

"The X-Files: Irresistible (#2.13)" (1995)
Mulder: You know, people videotape police beatings on darkened streets. They manage to spot Elvis in three cities across America every day, but no one saw a pretty woman being forced off the road in a rental car.

Mulder: It's been said that fear of the unknown is an irrational response to the excesses of the imagination. But our fear of the everyday, of the lurking stranger and the sound of footfalls on the stairs, the fear of violent death and the primitive impulse to survive, are as frightening as any X-File; as real as the acceptance that it could happen to you.

Agent Bocks: You're saying some human's been doing this?
Mulder: If you want to call him that.

Mulder: You okay, Scully?
Scully: Yeah. I've read about cases of desecrating the dead before but this is the first time I've seen it.
Mulder: Nothing can prepare you for it; it's almost unimaginable.
Scully: Why do they do it?
Mulder: Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers, fetishists collect dead things - fingernails and hair. No one quite knows why, though I've never really understood salt and pepper shakers myself.

"The X-Files: End Game (#2.17)" (1995)
Scully: Thanks for ditching me.
Mulder: I'm sorry, I, uh... I couldn't let you risk your life on this.
Scully: Did you find what you were looking for?
Mulder: No... no. But I found something I thought I'd lost.
[Scully gives him a questioning look]
Mulder: Faith to keep looking.

Mulder: How was the opera?
Mr. X: Wonderful. I've never slept better.

Alien Bounty Hunter: I could have killed you many times before if I wanted to.
Mulder: [about Samantha] Where is she?
[the Bounty Hunter flings Mulder across the room]
Alien Bounty Hunter: Is the answer to your question worth dying for? Is that what you want?
Mulder: Where is she?
[the Bounty Hunter flings Mulder to the other side of the room]
Mulder: [Gasping for breath] Just tell me where she is!
Alien Bounty Hunter: [Leans in close] She's alive. Can you die now?

Mulder: I need to know what you know.
Mr. X: Fine. They're all dead.

"The X-Files: Je Souhaite (#7.21)" (2000)
Mulder: I can't believe you don't want butter on your popcorn. Uggh. It's un-American.
Dana Scully: "Caddyshack", Mulder?
Mulder: It's a classic American movie.
Dana Scully: That's what every guy says. It's a guy movie.
Mulder: Okay, when you invite me over to your place we can watch Steel Magnolias.
Dana Scully: So, um... What's the occasion?
Mulder: I don't know. Just felt like the thing to do. Cheers.
Dana Scully: Cheers.
Mulder: I don't know if you noticed but, um, I never made the world a happier place.
Dana Scully: Well, I'm fairly happy. That's something. So what was your final wish, anyway?

Mulder: Then there is the interesting way in which Mr Flanken died.
Dana Scully: How's that?
Mulder: Chronic morbid tumescence.
Dana Scully: You don't mean what I think you mean?
Mulder: SCHWING! On April 4, 1978, he was admitted to Gateway Memorial Hospital with an extreme priapic condition. Apparently, he was quite the specimen. They had to raise the doorframe in order to wheel him into his hospital room.

Jenn: The only thing you people are cursed with is stupidity. All of you. Everybody. Mankind. Everyone I have ever come into contact with without fail. Always asking for the wrong thing.
Mulder: You mean making the wrong wishes.
Jenn: Yeah, it's always: "Give me money. Give me big boobs." "Give me a big hoo-hoo." "Make me cool like the Fonz." Or whoever's the big name now.
Mulder: You been out of circulation a long time.
Jenn: So what? In 500 years, people have not changed a bit.
Dana Scully: 500 years.
Jenn: Granted, they smell better now generally speaking but human greed still reigns... shallowness... a propensity for self-destruction.
Dana Scully: You're saying that you have been a firsthand witness to 500 years of human history.
Jenn: I used to be human. I was born in 15th century France and then, one day, an old Moor came to my village peddling rugs and I unrolled one that an Ifrit had taken residence in.
Dana Scully: An "Ifrit."
Jenn: A very... powerful class of jinni. He offered me three wishes. For the first I asked for a stouthearted mule. For the second, a magic sack that was always full of turnips... Did I mention this was 15th century France?
Mulder: What was your third wish?
Jenn: My third... I pondered for a great while. I didn't want to waste it. So, finally, feeling very intelligent I spoke up and I said "Je souhaite un grand pouvoir et une longue vie." "I wish for great power and long life."
Mulder: And thus became a jinni yourself.
Jenn: Gave me the mark of the jinn... right there. It's forever. Sort of like a prison tattoo.

"The X-Files: Fearful Symmetry (#2.18)" (1995)
Fox Mulder: Where's Langly?
Byers: He has a philosophical aversion to having his image bounced off a satellite.

Fox Mulder: I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear, once.

Fox Mulder: [voiceover] Willa Ambrose and Ed Meecham have been charged with manslaughter for the death of Kyle Lang. And though the courts will rule on this matter, and justice will be no doubt be served, the pall of a greater tragedy remains. The motives of the silent visitors who set these events in motion remain unclear. Could this be a judgement on a global rate of extinction that has risen to 1000 times its natural rate in this century? An act of alien conservation of animals we are driving hard toward oblivion? And if so, might it follow that our own fate and existence could finally be dependent upon the conservatorship of an extraterrestrial race? Or in the simple words of a creature whose own future is uncertain, will "man save man?" - As they drive, they pass a church with a sign in front on which is written "Man has no pre-eminence above a beast: for all is vanity. Eccl 3:19."

"The X-Files: Darkness Falls (#1.20)" (1994)
Scully: What do you think?
Mulder: I think I'm going to suggest that we sleep with the lights on.

Mulder: Come on, Scully, it'll be a nice trip to the forest.

Mulder: Take a good look, Scully.
Scully: What am I looking at?
Mulder: Thirty loggers working a clear-cutting contract in Washington State. Rugged, manly men in the full bloom of their manhood.
Scully: Right, but what am I looking for?
Mulder: Anything strange, unexplainable, unlikely... a boyfriend?

"The X-Files: Grotesque (#3.14)" (1996)
Mulder: Using psychology to solve a crime was something like...
Scully: Believing in the paranormal?

[about Mulder's encounter with a gargoyle]
Scully: Maybe you're just seeing what you wanted to see.
Mulder: What makes you think I'd want to see that?

[last lines]
Mulder: We work in the dark. We do what we can to battle the evil that would otherwise destroy us. But if a man's character is his fate, this fight is not a choice but a calling. Yet sometimes the weight of this burden causes us to falter, breaching the frazzled fortress of our mind, allowing the monsters without to turn within. We are left alone staring into the abyss; into the laughing face of madness.

"The X-Files: Aubrey (#2.12)" (1995)
Fox Mulder: Well, I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask.

Scully: Mulder, I don't think BJ was in the woods that night because of engine failure.
Mulder: What are you talking about?
Scully: Well, the Motel Black would have been a perfect meeting place. Away from town, away from his wife.
Mulder: What do you mean?
Scully: It's obvious BJ and Tillman are having an affair.
Mulder: How do you know?
Scully: A woman senses these things.

Scully: I guess that's why we're going to Aubrey.
Fox Mulder: Yes. And, also, I've always been intrigued by women named BJ.

"The X-Files: Home (#4.2)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: Oh, that was just a little too Chuck Bronson for me.

Fox Mulder: Well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic make-up and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullies.

Scully: What about your family?
Fox Mulder: Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.

"The X-Files: Conduit (#1.4)" (1993)
Mulder: How can an eight year-old boy who can barely multiply be a threat to national security? And people call me paranoid.

[last lines]
Mulder: I want to believe...

Mulder: This is the essence of science: you ask an impertinent question and you're on your way to a pertinent answer.

"The X-Files: Tithonus (#6.10)" (1999)
[calling Scully after spending a day apart]
Mulder: Hi, my name is Fox Mulder, we used to sit next to each other at the FBI.

[last lines]
Mulder: I just think that death only looks for you once you seek its opposite.

Mulder: You wanna know what L.H. Rice's birthday is? April 4th, 1849. I'm not good at math but I'm figuring that's a whole lot of candles on the cake.

"The X-Files: Agua Mala (#6.13)" (1999)
Mulder: All the nuts roll down to Florida.

Mulder: [regarding Dales's missing neighbors] She's missing, too?
Arthur Dales: Ahuh. I got on the horn to the local constabulary but they're about as helpful as a fart in a windstorm.

Arthur Dales: Did you tell her what I told you?
Mulder: Yes, but she's... she's not the type that's easily persuaded.
Arthur Dales: Is that so?
Scully: What he means is I don't hear a story about a sea monster and automatically assume it's the Lord's gospel truth.
Arthur Dales: Why did you bring her here?
Mulder: She knows your reputation, your early work on the X-Files and she has a knack for getting to the bottom of things.

"The X-Files: Two Fathers (#6.11)" (1999)
[referring to his and Scully's discovery of the Smoking Man's identity in the FBI's database]
Fox Mulder: Smokey's got a name.

[after playing basketball, Mulder approaches Scully]
Fox Mulder: Hey, homegirl. Word up.
Dana Scully: Mulder, it's my distinct impression that you just cheated, and that you're not coming in again today.
Fox Mulder: Oh, Scully, I got game!
Dana Scully: Yeah, you got so much game that I'm wondering if you have any work left in you.
Fox Mulder: I'm ready to J-O-B, just not on some jagoff shoeshine tip.
Dana Scully: No jagoff shoeshine tip?
Fox Mulder: No background checkin' jagoff shoeshine tip.

Cassandra Spender: My God... Oh My God... I think I am going to pee the floor
Fox Mulder: [chuckles] Don't... don't do that
[they hug]

"The X-Files: Sleepless (#2.4)" (1994)
Dana Scully: [perplexed] Somehow, this man suffered all the secondary, but none of the primary physiological responses to having been in a fire!
Fox Mulder: Any theories?
Dana Scully: I can't even begin to explain what could have caused something like this. I mean, it's almost as if...
Fox Mulder: What?
Dana Scully: ...As if his body believed that it was burning.

Fox Mulder: [Mr. X hands Mulder an envelope] What is this?
Mr. X: Data from a top secret military project. Born of the idea that sleep was the soldiers greatest enemy.
Fox Mulder: Someone was conducting sleep deprivation experiments on Parris Island.
Mr. X: Not deprivation. Eradication.
Fox Mulder: Why?
Mr. X: Why else? To build a better soldier. Sustained wakefulness dulls fear, heightens aggression. Science had just put a man on the moon. So they looked to science to win a losing war.
Fox Mulder: And Willig and Cole were the lab rats.
Mr. X: Lab rats with the highest kill ratio in the Marine Corps. Four thousand plus confirmed kills for a thirteen-man squad.
Fox Mulder: You think Cole's behind what's happening now?
Mr. X: I'm not here to do your thinking, Agent Mulder. All I know is Augustus Cole hasn't slept in twenty-four years.

Salvatore Matola: They said it'd be like living two lifetimes. And that... at first, that... that's what it was like. Not having to sleep and all made us feel like nothin' could touch us, you know? We'd do 24 hour patrols, night ambushes, you know, that type of thing.
Fox Mulder: And you never got tired?
Salvatore Matola: Nah. Not so that we had to sleep. And then, nothing that the pills couldn't fix.
Fox Mulder: Serotonin?
Salvatore Matola: Yeah.
Fox Mulder: How long did this go on?
Salvatore Matola: Quite awhile, I'd say. Quite awhile until we stopped taking orders from company commander in Saigon.
Krycek: The entire squadron went AWOL?
Salvatore Matola: Yeah, somethin' like that.
Fox Mulder: Well, then who did you take orders from?
Salvatore Matola: We didn't. We just made up missions as we went along, until it didn't matter anymore who we were killing. Farmers, women. Outside of Phu Bai, there was this... school and uh... they were just kids.

"The X-Files: Terma (#4.9)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: [aggressively questioning a freelance terrorist] You want to know about anarchy? You don't tell me where that other bomb is and I'll make sure you spend your prison time on your bigoted hands and knees putting a big smile on some convict's face.

Fox Mulder: Why is this so hard to believe? When the accepted discovery of life off this planet is on the front page of every newspaper around the world? When even the most conservative scientists and science journals are calling for the exploration of Mars and Jupiter? With every reason to believe that life and the persistence of it is thriving outside our terrestrial sphere? If you cannot get past this, then I suggest that this whole committee be held in contempt for ignoring evidence that cannot be refuted.

Senator Albert Sorenson: Ms. Scully, you've had a good long time to think about the question that was asked in our last session. I wanna give you the opportunity to answer that question here, today, so I can help our good chairman here to get on with this proceeding.
Dana Scully: I can't answer that question, sir.
Senator Albert Sorenson: I'm going to ask you again: where is Special Agent Mulder, and why is he not here?
Dana Scully: I'd be happy to answer your questions about the man carrying the diplomatic pouch...
Senator Albert Sorenson: Agent Scully!
Dana Scully: ...about his murder and my opinion about its connection to the death of Dr. Bonita Charne-Sayer of the World Health Organization...
Senator Albert Sorenson: Ms. Scully, you'll get your chance...
Dana Scully: ...or about the bio-toxin being transported within that pouch...
Senator Albert Sorenson: Answer the question, Ms. Scully!
Fox Mulder: [entering the inquest] What *is* the question?

"The X-Files: 3 (#2.7)" (1994)
Kristen Kilar: Are you about to ask what a normal person like me is doing in a place like this?
Mulder: How do you define normal?
Kristen Kilar: Misha, red wine... I don't. How do you?
Mulder: All I know is... normal is not what I feel.
Kristen Kilar: You've lost someone. Not a lover... a friend.

The Son: Don't you want to live forever?
Mulder: Not if drawstring pants come back in style.

Mulder: It's probably ignorance of porphyria as a disease that led to the creation of vampire myths in Asia in the Middle Ages...
Mulder: I had dismissed the possibility of the actual existence of such a creature as myth.
Dr. Browning: You are really upsetting me... On several levels.

"The X-Files: The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati (#7.2)" (1999)
Mulder: Scully! I knew you'd come. They told me you were dead.
Scully: And you believed them? Traitor.
Mulder: What?
Scully: Deserter. Coward.
Mulder: Scully, don't... I'm dying.
Scully: You're not supposed to die, Mulder - not here.
Mulder: What do you mean?
Scully: Not in a comfortable bed with the devil outside.
Mulder: No, you don't understand. He's taking care of me.
Scully: No, Mulder, he's lulled you to sleep. He's made you trade your true mission for creature comforts.
Mulder: There was no mission. There were no aliens.
Scully: No aliens. Have you looked outside, Mulder?
Mulder: I can't. I'm... too tired.
Scully: No, Mulder, you must get up. You must get up and fight... especially you. This isn't your place. Get up, Mulder. Get up and fight the fight.

Mulder: Scully, what are you doing here? Actually, I was just getting dressed to come see you but I... I couldn't find a tie to go with my victory cap.
Scully: Mulder, no work. You have to go back to bed.
Mulder: Oh, wait. Tie goes to the runner. Scully, I, um... I was coming down... to work to tell you that Albert Hosteen is dead. He died last night in New Mexico. He'd been in a coma for two weeks. There was... no way he could have been in your apartment.
Scully: He was there - we... we prayed together. Mulder, I don't believe that. I... I don't believe it. It's impossible.
Mulder: Is it any more impossible than what you saw in Africa or what you saw in me?
Scully: I don't know what to believe any more. Mulder, I was so determined to find a cure to save you that I could deny what it was that I saw and now I don't even know... I don't know... I don't know what the truth is... I don't know who to listen to. I don't know who to trust. Diana Fowley was found murdered this morning. I never trusted her... but she helped save your life just as much as I did. She gave me that book. It was her key that led me to you. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I know she was your friend.
Mulder: Scully, I was like you once - I didn't know who to trust. Then I... I chose another path... another life, another fate, where I found my sister. The end of my world was unrecognisable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same. You... were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant... my touchstone.
Scully: And you are mine.

Mulder: Scully, I was like you once. I didn't know who to trust. Then I... I chose another path... another life, another fate, where I found my sister. The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same. You were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant. My touchstone.
Scully: And you are mine.

"The X-Files: Existence (#8.21)" (2001)
Mulder: How's everybody doing?
Scully: [holding her newborn] We're doing just fine.
Mulder: [to the baby, starting to cry] Hey, now. None of that.
[holds the baby in his arms]
Mulder: What are you going to call him?
Scully: William. After your father.
Mulder: Well, I don't know. He's... he's got your coloring and your eyes, but he looks suspiciously like Assistant Director Skinner...
Scully: [chuckles tearfully] I don't understand, Mulder. They came to take him from us; why they didn't...
Mulder: I don't quite understand that either, except that maybe he isn't what they thought he was. That doesn't make him any less of a miracle though, does it?
Scully: From the moment I became pregnant, I feared the truth... about how... and why. And I know that you feared it, too.
Mulder: I think what we feared were the possibilities. The truth we both know.
Scully: Which is what?
[Mulder leans in for a kiss]

Mulder: You told me that he told you he knew how to stop Billy Miles. Are you telling me now that you think he's a liar?
John Doggett: He is or he isn't. What the hell difference does it really make?
Mulder: It doesn't make any difference at all unless you want to protect Scully and that baby.
John Doggett: And then what? How long can you keep this up? How long until the next Billy Miles rears his head - the next threat, the next phantom - you ever stop to ask yourself? All the sacrifice, the blood-spill... You've given nearly a decade of your life. Where the hell is it all gonna end?
Mulder: I don't know. Maybe it doesn't.

Alex Krycek: [pointing a gun at Mulder] It doesn't seem fair now. It doesn't seem right... coming out of this.
Mulder: What do you know about fair or right, Krycek? You're a coward.
Alex Krycek: I could've killed you so many times, Mulder, you gotta know that. I'm the one that kept you alive... praying you'd win somehow.
Mulder: Then there really is no God.
Alex Krycek: You think I'm bad; I'm a killer. We wanted the same thing, brother, that's what you don't understand.
Mulder: I wanted to stop them. All you wanted was to save your own ass.
Alex Krycek: No. I tried to stop them. I tried to kill Scully's baby to stop them, but it's too late. The tragedy is that you... you wouldn't let it go!... That's why I have to do this. 'Cause you know how deep it goes, right into the FBI.
Mulder: You want to kill me, Alex, kill me, like you killed my father.
[slowly walks toward Krycek]
Mulder: Just don't insult me trying to make me understand.

"The X-Files: The Pine Bluff Variant (#5.18)" (1998)
Mulder: [leaving the room to go under cover] If you don't hear from me by midnight... Feed my fish...

[strapped into a chair with a hood over his head]
Mulder: Ooh, is this the Pepsi challenge?

August Bremer: You're a believer?
Mulder: I have my beliefs.
August Bremer: You willing to die for them?
Mulder: I'd prefer it didn't come to that.

"The X-Files: Ice (#1.8)" (1993)
Fox Mulder: [the three men on the expedition are undressing to check each other's bodies for signs of infection] Before anyone passes judgment, may I remind you, we are in the Arctic.

Fox Mulder: This is Agent Mulder. We have a serious biological hazard. Request air pick-up and quarantine procedures. Over.
Fox Mulder: Come in, Doolittle Airfield.
Doolittle Airfield: We copy, Agent Mulder. This area is under a heavy storm and no aircraft can get out for the next day. Maybe the military base in Kotzebue can set up a quarantine. Advise immediate evacuation. The arctic storm is bearing in your direction. Over.
Fox Mulder: We were told we'd have three clear days of weather. Over.
Doolittle Airfield: Welcome to the top of the world, sir.

Dana Scully: This organism might be lying dormant in another crater. lf we don't kill it now, we run the risk of becoming Richter and Campbell with guns to our heads. with guns to our heads.
Fox Mulder: lf we kill it, we won't know how to stop anything like it in the future.

"The X-Files: Tunguska (#4.8)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: [shoving Krycek's face away roughly] Stupid ass haircut!

Alex Krycek: [handcuffed to the steering wheel, whiny] Where have you been?
Fox Mulder: Making travel arrangements.
Alex Krycek: To go where?
Fox Mulder: Follow the pouch.
Alex Krycek: You're going to keep me in the dark?
[punches Krycek in the face]
Fox Mulder: Yeah.

Alex Krycek: [as Mulder exits the car] Mulder, you're not...
Fox Mulder: I'm leaving the window rolled down. If I'm not back in a week, I'll call Agent Scully to come bring you a bowl of water.
Alex Krycek: Mulder! You're not gonna leave me here! I got information, Mulder, about a second bomb! Time, date and place!
[Mulder pauses, turns back as Krycek bombards him with Russian invective]
Alex Krycek: ... Son of a bitch, get back here!
Fox Mulder: [goes back] What did you say to me?
Alex Krycek: What?
Fox Mulder: You called me a bad name.
[Krycek resumes swearing at him in Russian and spits in his face]
Fox Mulder: You speak Russian, Krycek?
Alex Krycek: My parents were Russian immigrants. What's it to you?

"The X-Files: Colony (#2.16)" (1995)
Dana Scully: Our friend from the C.I.A. is about as unbelievable as his story... as is everything about this case. I mean, whatever happened to "trust no one", Mulder?
Fox Mulder: Oh, I changed it to "trust everyone". I didn't tell you?

Mulder: I changed it to "Trust Everyone." I didn't tell you?

[Scully thinks that one of Mulder's sources may have murdered an FBI agent]
Mulder: Is that what you want me to put on my report to Skinner? Because I would be more than happy to have you explain that to him.
Scully: Damn it, Mulder, that is not my job. You'll pursue a case at the expense of everything, to the point of insanity, and expect me to follow you. There has to be somewhere to draw the line.
Mulder: Three identical men are dead. A fourth identical man is alive and on the lam. If the pursuit of this case seems like insanity to you, feel free to step away from it.

"The X-Files: Babylon (#10.5)" (2016)
Agent Miller: Hello, anyone down here?
Dana Scully: [interrupting Mulder before he can answer] Nobody but the FBI's most unwanted.
Dana Scully: [to Mulder] I've been waiting 23 years to say that!
Fox Mulder: How did it feel?
Dana Scully: Pretty good.

Fox Mulder: I saw things though, Scully. Powerful things. I saw deep and unconditional love.
Dana Scully: I saw things too. I witnessed unqualified hate that appears to have no end.
Fox Mulder: How to reconcile the two? The extremes of our nature.
Dana Scully: That's the question. Maybe the question of our times.

"The X-Files: Revelations (#3.11)" (1995)
Owen Lee Jarvis: I was only asked to protect the boy.
Fox Mulder: By who? Who asked you to protect him?
Owen Lee Jarvis: God.
Fox Mulder: [snickers] That's quite a long distance call, isn't it?

Fox Mulder: [to Scully; pouty] You never draw my bath.

"The X-Files: Folie a Deux (#5.19)" (1998)
Mulder: You have to be willing to see.
Scully: I wish it were that simple.
Mulder: Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion.

Mulder: [Mulder is restrained in a hospital bed] Five years together, Scully. You *must* have seen this coming.

"The X-Files: Eve (#1.11)" (1993)
Mulder: One girl was just abducted.
Scully: Kidnapped.
Mulder: Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe.

Mulder: Serial killers rarely work in pairs and when they do they kill together, not separately.

"The X-Files: Terms of Endearment (#6.7)" (1999)
[walking past Wayne]
Fox Mulder: I know what you are.

Dana Scully: Mulder, you're not suggesting that he is himself... a devil, are you?
Fox Mulder: I'm not suggesting anything, I think the facts speak for themselves.

"The X-Files: Dreamland II (#6.5)" (1998)
[Mulder has swapped bodies with another man]
Mulder: If I shoot him, is that murder or suicide?
Scully: Neither, if I do it first.

Mulder: Hey Grandma Top Gun, will you shut the hell up?

"The X-Files: Theef (#7.14)" (2000)
Fox Mulder: Lousy spelling aside, who do you think it refers to? Who's the thief?
Dana Scully: That's certainly one question. I've got many.
Fox Mulder: "Mulder, why are we here?"
Dana Scully: To be fair I might have used the words, "Mulder, how is this an X File?"
Fox Mulder: You see that, Scully? You always keep me guessing.

Dana Scully: Kuru.
Fox Mulder: The disease New Guinea tribesmen get?
Dana Scully: From eating the brains of their relatives.
Fox Mulder: And I thought my grandpa slurping his soup was bad...

"The X-Files: The Jersey Devil (#1.5)" (1993)
Mulder: Don't you have a life, Scully?
Scully: You keep that up and I'll hurt you like that beast woman.
Mulder: [as she holds the door open for him] 8 million years out of Africa...
Scully: ...and look who's holding the door.

Mulder: 8 million years out of Africa I don't think we're all that different.
Scully: Mulder, we put men into space. We built computers that work faster than the human mind.
Mulder: While we overpopulate the world and create new technologies to kill each other with? Maybe we're just beasts with big brains.

"The X-Files: Gethsemane (#4.24)" (1997)
Scully: It just means proving to the world the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish.
Mulder: How about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?

[seeing a dead body in the snow]
Mulder: Funny place to take a nap.

"The X-Files: Chinga (#5.10)" (1998)
Scully: No... I don't think it's witchcraft, Mulder, or sorcery. I've had a look around and I don't see any evidence of anything that warrants that kind of suspicion.
Mulder: Well, maybe you don't know what you're looking for.
Scully: Like evidence of conjury or the black arts? Or shamanism, divination, Wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice? Charms, cards, familiars, blood-stones, or hex signs, or any kind of the ritual tableau associated with the occult; Santeria, Voudom, Macumba or any high or low magic...
Mulder: Scully?
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Scully: I was hoping for something a little more helpful.

Scully: Did you... get anything done while I was gone?
Mulder: Oh God, I mean, it's amazing what I can accomplish without incessant meddling or questioning at everything I do, it's just...
[pens suddenly fall down on him from the ceiling, and we see how he has thrown all of them up there]
Mulder: There's... got to be an explanation.
Scully: Oh, I don't know. I think some things are better left unexplained.

"The X-Files: Emily (#5.7)" (1997)
Fox Mulder: You know anything about pharmaceuticals?
Melvin Frohike: Medicinal or, uh, recreational?

Fox Mulder: No matter how much you love this girl Scully, she's a miracle that wasn't meant to be.

"The X-Files: Apocrypha (#3.16)" (1996)
Frohike: [examining a used envelope] I got something here. Writing. Somebody wrote on top of the package and left an impression.
Ringo Langly: Your sci-crime guys at the Bureau have a laser that can measure any change in a surface down to a few nano-meters.
Byers: Actually, they can lift a perfect impression using magnetic toner and a sheet of Mylar.
Frohike: Actually...
[while they have been debating, Mulder has used a pencil to make a rubbing of the impression on the envelope]
Mulder: Actually, it's a phone number, New York City area code.
[hands Frohike the pencil]
Mulder: Now don't drop that. That's a finely calibrated piece of investigative equipment. I gotta make a phone call.
Frohike: [looking at the pencil] I'll be damned.

Well Manicured Man: Who gave you this number?
Mulder: You probably know him. A man named Krycek.
Well Manicured Man: Alex Krycek?
Mulder: Yeah, nice guy, killed my father.

"The X-Files: Monday (#6.14)" (1999)
Fox Mulder: Cover for me, will you?
Dana Scully: When do I not?

Fox Mulder: I know, I missed the meeting.
Dana Scully: No, you didn't *miss* the meeting; you're extraordinarily *late* for the meeting. It's still going on.
Fox Mulder: What are you doing down here?
Fox Mulder: We took a short break and I came looking for you. What are *you* doing down here, Mulder?
Fox Mulder: Having the best damn day of my life. Any moment I'm about to burst into song. Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. My water bed sprung a leak and shorted out my alarm clock; my cellphone got wet and crapped out on me; and the check I wrote my landlord to cover the damages is going to bounce unless I deposit my pay. Did you ever have one of those days, Scully?
Dana Scully: Since I've been working here? Yeah.

"The X-Files: Memento Mori (#4.14)" (1997)
Scully: Mulder, I can't kid myself. People live with cancer. They carry on, and so will I. You know I've got things to finish, to prove to myself, to my family, but for my own reasons.
Mulder: Come on back. The truth will save you, Scully. I think it'll save both of us.

Mulder: The truth will save you, Scully. I think it'll save both of us.

"The X-Files: Essence (#8.20)" (2001)
John Doggett: What is it exactly we're looking for, being I'm starting to piss a lot of people off, Mr. Mulder.
Fox Mulder: Pissing people off comes with the territory, Agent Doggett.

[first lines]
Fox Mulder: We call it the miracle of life. Conception: a union of perfect opposites - essence transforming into existence - an act without which mankind would not exist, and humanity cease to exist. Or is this just nostalgia now? An act of biology commandeered by modern science and technology? Godlike, we extract, implant, inseminate... and we clone. But has our ingenuity rendered the miracle into a simple trick? In the artifice of replicating life, can we become the creator? Then what of the soul? Can it, too, be replicated? Does it live in this matter we call DNA? Or is its placement the opposite of artifice, capable only by God? How did this child come to be? What set its heart beating? Is it the product of a union? Or the work of a divine hand? An answered prayer? A true miracle? Or is it a wonder of technology - the intervention of other hands? What do I tell this child about to be born? What do I tell Scully? What do I tell myself?

"The X-Files: Per Manum (#8.13)" (2001)
Scully: Hi.
Mulder: Hi.
Scully: Come on in.
Mulder: Thanks.
Scully: Can I take your coat?
Mulder: No. I can't stay. I got to get back to the office for a while.
Scully: Obviously, you've had some time to think about my request.
Mulder: Um it's... it's not something that I get asked to do every day. Um, but I'm absolutely flattered. No, honestly.
Scully: Look, if... if you're trying to politely say "no", it's okay. I... I understand.
Mulder: See, as weird as this sounds, and this sounds really weird, I know, but I just wouldn't want this to come between us.
Scully: Yeah. I know. I... I understand. I do.
Mulder: But... the answer is "yes."
Scully: Um... well, I'll call Dr Parenti and... I assume that he'll want to meet you and go through the, uh... the donor procedure.
Mulder: Oh, at that part, I'm a pro.

Mulder: Scully? I must have dozed off. I was waiting for you to get back. It didn't take, did it?
Scully: I guess it was too much to hope for. It was my last chance.
Mulder: Never give up on a miracle.

"The X-Files: Beyond the Sea (#1.13)" (1994)
Mulder: It was five hours of Boggs channeling. After three hours I asked him to summon up the soul of Jimi Hendrix and requested 'All Along the Watchtower'. You know, the guy's been dead for 20 years but he still hasn't lost his edge.

Mulder: Some killers are products of society. Some act out past abuses. Boggs kills because he likes it.

"The X-Files: Mind's Eye (#5.16)" (1998)
Fox Mulder: I'm curious, Marty.
Marty Glenn: Yeah? About what?
Fox Mulder: If you didn't kill him, why you were at the crime scene cleaning up, and doing such a piss poor job of it.
[Marty hesitates]
Fox Mulder: Why don't we just stop playing games here, okay? I mean, you probably don't know a feather duster from a duck's ass, do you? I mean it's ridiculous; you're a blind woman for God's sake. So why don't you just tell us who *did* kill Paco Ordonez and Agent Scully and I can go arrest him, and you can go home and work on your angry-young-blind-girl comedy routine.

Det. Pennock: You are one skeptical guy, Agent Mulder.
Fox Mulder: Skeptical? I've been called a lot of things. Skeptical, however, is not one.

"The X-Files: Max (#4.18)" (1997)
Scully: [holding an Apollo 11 keychain] I actually was thinking about, uh, this gift that you gave me for my birthday. You never got to tell me why you gave it to me or what it means, but I think I know. I think that you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals, that what can be imagined can be achieved, that you must dare to dream, but that there's no substitute for perseverance and hard work and teamwork because no one gets there alone; and that, while we commemorate the... the greatness of these events and the individuals who achieve them, we cannot forget the sacrifice of those who make these achievements and leaps possible.
Mulder: I just thought it was a pretty cool keychain.

Sharon Graffia: These tapes. You don't mind if I keep them?
Mulder: No, I think you should consider yourself the sole curator of the Max Fenig rolling multimedia library and archive, and you should probably get tax-exempt status as soon as you can. This stuff could be worth something someday.

"The X-Files: Fresh Bones (#2.15)" (1995)
Dana Scully: Think he's telling the truth?
Fox Mulder: Until I can figure out why he'd lie, yeah.

Colonel Wharton: Sorry, I'm having my breakfast.
Fox Mulder: That's alright, we already ate.

"The X-Files: Die Hand Die Verletzt (#2.14)" (1995)
Mulder: So, lunch?
Scully: Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!
Mulder: I guess their parachutes didn't open. You were saying something about this place not feeling "odd"?

Mulder: Did you really think you could call up the Devil and ask him to behave?

"The X-Files: Three Words (#8.16)" (2001)
Fox Mulder: Remember boys - this is America. Just because you get more votes doesn't mean you win.

John Doggett: Just what's the problem here?
Fox Mulder: The problem? You occupy an office that used to be devoted to finding the truth and now you're busy burying it - that's the problem.
John Doggett: Whoa, you must've got your wires crossed somewhere, Agent Mulder.

"The X-Files: Schizogeny (#5.9)" (1998)
Fox Mulder: [climbing a tree] Hey Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?

Fox Mulder: [seeing Mr. Matthew's skeleton encompassed by foliage] Talk about putting down roots.

"The X-Files: Roland (#1.23)" (1994)
Mulder: You got a brother, don't you, Scully?
Scully: Yeah, I've got an older one and a younger one.
Mulder: Well, have you ever thought about calling one of them all day long and then all of a sudden the phone rings and it's one of them calling you?
Scully: Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?

Mulder: You know, I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was swimming in this, uh, pool. And I could see my father underwater. But when I dove down, the water stung my eyes. And there was another man at the pool, watching me. He upset me. He was asking me questions I didn't want to answer. And I had to leave. I couldn't find my father.

"The X-Files: Excelsis Dei (#2.11)" (1994)
Scully: Good morning.
Mulder: Whatever tape you found in that VCR, it isn't mine.
Scully: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours.

Mulder: So you think that Michelle Charters was raped by a 74-year-old schizophrenic?
Scully: It's possible.
Mulder: An invisible 74-year-old schizophrenic.
Scully: Well, maybe it's not the medication. Maybe it's the place itself.
Mulder: Are you saying that the building's haunted? Because if you are, I think you've been working with me for too long, Scully.
Scully: I'm talking about an environmental reason behind what's happening there. Even the disinfectant couldn't mask that smell. Who knows what's breeding behind the walls or in the substructure. Some fungal contaminants have been known to cause delusions, dementia, violent behavior...
Mulder: Why wouldn't it have affected the other residents?
Scully: Maybe it has.
Mulder: I think you're looking too hard, Scully, for something that's not there. I think Michelle Charters concocted this story to get out of a job she hates.
Scully: That lip required 13 stitches. The blow to her head resulted in a subdural hematoma. That's quite a concoction. Look, I just want to talk to a few more of the patients there. We can catch the same flight out tomorrow night.

"The X-Files: Avatar (#3.21)" (1996)
[In the posh apartment of a Madam]
Scully: Business must be booming.
Mulder: I think you mean 'banging'.

Mulder: Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why Skinner's running. He's afraid.
Scully: That he did it?
Mulder: That he doesn't know he didn't do it.

"The X-Files: The Walk (#3.7)" (1995)
Fox Mulder: Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world is insanity.

Fox Mulder: [to a quadruple amputee] No sleepwalking.

"The X-Files: Hell Money (#3.19)" (1996)
Dana Scully: Do you know how much the human body is worth, Mulder?
Fox Mulder: Depends on the body. I don't know, a few bucks?

[while conducting an autopsy]
Fox Mulder: You're saying that this guy was selling his body parts for money?
Dana Scully: A kidney, a portion of the liver, a cornea, bone marrow - a person can lose these things and live to cash the social security checks.
Fox Mulder: He won't be cashing any social security checks any time soon.

"The X-Files: Millennium (#7.4)" (1999)
Scully: Mulder, these people, even when they were alive, mangled biblical prophecy to the extent that it's unrecognisable. The year 2000 is just their artificial deadline, and besides 2001 is actually the start of the new millennium.
Mulder: Nobody likes a math geek, Scully.

Mulder: The world didn't end.
Scully: No, it didn't.
Mulder: Happy New Year, Scully.
Scully: Happy New Year, Mulder.

"The X-Files: Alpha (#6.16)" (1999)
Fox Mulder: You get a biscuit, Scully.

[reading titles on the bookshelf of Karin Berquist ]
Dana Scully: The Wolf inside... Dogs don't lie... Better than Human... Better than Human?
Fox Mulder: She's not a real people person

"The X-Files: Never Again (#4.13)" (1997)
Fox Mulder: *Seriously*? You've got a date?

[last lines]
Scully: Not everything is about you, Mulder.
Fox Mulder: Yes, but...

"The X-Files: The Goldberg Variation (#7.6)" (1999)
Mulder: [to a crime-scene photographer while looking up at a man hanging in a fan in the roof by his shoe laces] So, do you get many of these?

Scully: You OK, Mulder?
Mulder: Yeah, it's alright. My ass broke the fall.

"The X-Files: The Erlenmeyer Flask (#1.24)" (1994)
[last lines]
Mulder: They're shutting us down, Scully.
Scully: What?
Mulder: They called me in tonight and they said they're going to reassign us to other sections.
Scully: Who told you that?
Mulder: Skinner. He said word came down from the top of the Executive Branch.
Scully: Mulder...
Mulder: It's over, Scully.
Scully: Well, you have to lodge a protest. They can't...
Mulder: Yes they can.
Scully: What are you going to do?
Mulder: I'm... not going to give up. I can't give up. Not as long as the truth is out there.

Scully: [Scully is refusing to follow a vague lead with Mulder] Who is this Deep Throat character? I mean, we don't know anything about him. What his name is, what he does...
Mulder: He's in a delicate position. He has access to information and indiscretion could expose him.
Scully: You don't know that this isn't just a game with him. He's toying with you. Rationing out the facts.
Mulder: You think he does it because he gets off on it?
Scully: No. I think he does it because you do.

"The X-Files: Elegy (#4.22)" (1997)
Angelo Pintero: [Agitated] Look, I'm not making this up.
Fox Mulder: No one's suggesting that you are, Mr. Pintero.
Angelo Pintero: I saw the look on her face.
[Glances at Scully, who gives a deadpan look]
Fox Mulder: Can I ask you a favor? Can I get a soda? A cola? Something like that?
Angelo Pintero: Sure. Yeah.
[Walks off to get soda]
Fox Mulder: [Grinning] What IS that look, Scully?
Dana Scully: I would've thought that after four years you'd know exactly what that look was.

Martin Alpert: I brought visitors today. They're investigating a crime.
[the patients appear alarmed]
Martin Alpert: It's okay. They just want to ask you a few questions.
Fox Mulder: Hi. I wanted to ask if anyone used the pay phone out in the hallway there, on Friday night? Because somebody called the police and reported a murder.
Martin Alpert: [whispers to Mulder] Sloppy Joe night.
Fox Mulder: That was Sloppy Joe night.
Chuck Forsch: Ooh. That was me! I did it. I admit it, I did it! I'm just a human being, after all!
Martin Alpert: [Sternly] Chuck, tell the truth.
Chuck Forsch: Nah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I lied. I lied, but... I'm just a human being!

"The X-Files: The Field Where I Died (#4.5)" (1996)
Mulder: Dana? If... early in the four years we've been working together... an event occurred that suggested... or somebody told you that we'd been friends together... in other lifetimes. Always. Would it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?
Scully: Even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day... Well... maybe that flukeman thing. I could have lived without that just fine.

Mulder: Evil returns as evil. But love... Souls mate eternal.

"The X-Files: Teso dos Bichos (#3.18)" (1996)
[repeated line]
Fox Mulder: Go with it, Scully.

Fox Mulder: Follow that rat!

"The X-Files: Paper Clip (#3.2)" (1995)
Scully: I need something to put my back up against, Mulder.
Mulder: I know. I feel the same way. I feel that we've lost so much... but we've got The X-Files, and I believe what we're looking for is in them. I'm more certain than ever the truth is out there, Scully.
Scully: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.

Mulder: We've both lost so much... but I believe that what we're looking for is in the X-Files. I'm more certain than ever that the truth is in there.
Scully: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.

"The X-Files: Field Trip (#6.21)" (1999)
Mulder: Brown Mountain, Scully, that doesn't ring a bell?
Scully: No...
Mulder: Brown Mountain lights? It's a famous atmospheric phenomenon dating back nearly 700 years, witnessed by thousands of people, back to the Cherokee Indians. Strange multicolored lights are seen to dance above the peak of the mountain. There's been no geological explanation, no scientific credible explanation at all.
Scully: And, what does that have to do with these two?
Mulder: Well, as I said, there is no credible scientific explanation, but there are those of us that believe that these strange multicolored lights are really...
Scully: UFOs. Extra-terrestrial visitors from beyond who apparently have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain over and over again for 700 years.
Mulder: It sounds like crap when you say it.

Scully: Mulder, can you just, for once, just for the novelty of it, come up with the simplest explanation? The most logical one, instead of automatically jumping to UFOs or Bigfoot or...
Mulder: Scully, in 6 years how often have I been wrong? No, seriously. I mean, every time I bring a new case we go through this perfunctory dance, you tell me I'm not being scientifically rigorous and that I'm off my nut; and in the end who turns out to be right like 98.9 percent of the time? I just think I've earned the benefit of the doubt here.

"The X-Files: Requiem (#7.22)" (2000)
Mulder: Who is it?
Scully: It's me.
Mulder: What's wrong, Scully? You look sick.
Scully: I don't know what's wrong.
Mulder: Come in.
Scully: I, um... I was starting to get ready for bed and I started to feel really dizzy - vertigo or something - and then I just... I started to get chills.
Mulder: You want me to call a doctor?
Scully: No, I just... I just want to get warm. Thank you.
Mulder: It's not worth it, Scully.
Scully: What?
Mulder: I want you to go home.
Scully: Oh, Mulder, I'm going to be fine.
Mulder: No, I've been thinking about it. Looking at you tonight, holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. A chance for motherhood and your health and that baby. I think that... I don't know, maybe they're right.
Scully: Who's right?
Mulder: The FBI. Maybe what they say is true, though for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high. There so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this. There has to be an end, Scully.

Scully: Mulder, if any of this is true...
Mulder: If it is, or if it isn't, I want you to forget about it, Scully.
Scully: Forget about it?
Mulder: You're not going back out there. I'm not going to let you go back out there.
Scully: What are you talking about?
Mulder: It has to end some time. That time is now.
Scully: Mulder...
Mulder: Scully, you have to understand that they're taking abductees. You're an abductee. I'm not going to risk... losing you.
Scully: I won't let you go alone.

"The X-Files: Alone (#8.19)" (2001)
Mulder: Hey. Ready to roll?
Scully: Yeah, let me just get my keys.
Mulder: Hey, don't forget this. Relax the back, breathe in, breathe out.
Scully: How do you know all these things, Mulder?
Mulder: I'm unemployed. I've got a lot of time on my hands. Oprah, I watch a lot of Oprah.
Scully: Thank you for doing this with me.
Mulder: What's the matter?
Scully: I don't know, I... Maybe it's hormones or... I just, I'm just feeling so strange about all of this.
Mulder: This, having a baby, this?
Scully: No. No. Leaving work, I guess. I mean I... I walked out of that office today feeling like a deserter.
Mulder: You've paid your dues there, Scully, more than paid them. You're concerned about Agent Doggett.
Scully: You know, the entire time that I was down there, I had someone to watch my back.
Mulder: I'm betting that Agent Doggett can take care of himself, he's a big boy. You've got to worry about the little boy... or little girl. Boy? Or Girl?

FBI Agent Leyla Harrison: Can I ask you something?
Mulder: Sure.
FBI Agent Leyla Harrison: When you went to Antartica to save Agent Scully from being taken by that spaceship, and you ran out of gas in your Snow-Cat, how did you get back?
Scully: Um, well first of all it was never actually proven that it was a spaceship.
Mulder: It wasn't?
Scully: No, what... what...
Mulder: Proven?
Scully: What happened was that we fell off of something...
Mulder: Something?
Scully: ...that rose out of the ice
Mulder: And what do you think that was?
Scully: Well I don't know what it was but we didn't actually see...
Mulder: Was it a spaceship?
Scully: ...a spaceship.
Mulder: I can't believe you're saying it's not a spaceship, when you saw it.
Scully: Ah, I mean, it could have been a spaceship. Mulder, but you don't...
Mulder: Of course it was a spaceship.
Scully: But, we don't know that it was, but you don't have a picture of it or anything.
Mulder: You know it was a spaceship, you saw it!
Scully: No, I did, no no no no no. Remember, I was unconscious...
Mulder: You were unconscious? Apparently you're still unconscious!
Scully: ...and when I woke up there was no spaceship.
Mulder: You saw the spaceship.
Scully: Mulder... No no no no no sorry. Then you were frozen and I remember I hugged you until you were not frozen anymore...

"The X-Files: Trevor (#6.17)" (1999)
[Upon seeing a body in two pieces]
Scully: So, should we arrest David Copperfield?
Mulder: Yes we should, but not for this.

Scully: Spontaneous human combustion.
Mulder: [grinning] Scully!
Scully: Well, isn't that where you were going with this?
Mulder: Dear Diary, today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion.
Scully: Mulder, there are one or two somewhat well-documented cases.
[Mulder nods, grinning]
Scully: Mulder, shut up.

"The X-Files: Brand X (#7.18)" (2000)
Thomas Gastall: Dr. Voss would be in violation of his confidentiality clause in answering questions regarding the nature of his work here at Morley. I'm sure you understand our cooperation cannot extend itself to revealing corporate secrets.
Walter Skinner: I'm not sensing any cooperation whatsoever. In fact, I'm one more non-answer away from getting a federal warrant and searching this entire building.
Thomas Gastall: Then this meeting is over.
Fox Mulder: Dr. Voss.
[toss over an evidence bag containing a bug]
Fox Mulder: Can you tell me what that is?
Dr. Peter Voss: It's a tobacco beetle. Why?
Fox Mulder: We found it at Jim Scobie's house.
Dr. Peter Voss: You find a lot of these around here. They're everywhere - there are probably a dozen in the grill of your car right now.
Thomas Gastall: May I ask where you're going with this, Agent?
Fox Mulder: I'm sorry, I can't. Answering that question would violate FBI confidentiality due to the sensitive nature of our investigation.

Fox Mulder: You don't seem surprised that he's dead.
Ashman: I guess his number come up.
Ashman: I'm just glad it wasn't me.

"The X-Files: X-Cops (#7.12)" (2000)
Fox Mulder: [examining the Deputy's wound] Unfortunately though, Deputy, you've been bitten. The skin is broken. Werewolf law pretty much universally holds that someone who's been bitten by such a creature is gonna become such a creature himself, so...
Deputy Keith Wetzel: Now, wait a minute! I mean... that's not what really happened, though.
Fox Mulder: I'm sorry, but you gonna have to be isolated and kept under guard.
Sgt. Paula Duthie: [glaring at Mulder] With all due respect, what the *bleep* are you talking about?
Fox Mulder: I'm talking about preventing this man from becoming a danger to himself and to others.
Sgt. Paula Duthie: Can I see your badge again?

"The X-Files: El Mundo Gira (#4.11)" (1997)
Dana Scully: 'Purple Rain'?
Fox Mulder: Great album. Deeply flawed movie.

"The X-Files: Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' (#3.20)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: You still gonna hold the boy?
Detective Manners: Oh, you bet your blankety-blank bleep I am!

"The X-Files: Milagro (#6.18)" (1999)
Mulder: Mr. Padgett... you can go. We apologize for our mistake. You're free to finish your book.
Phillip Padgett: Thank you. I made a mistake myself.
Mulder: What's that, Mr. Padgett?
Phillip Padgett: In my book, I'd written that Agent Scully falls in love but that's obviously impossible. Agent Scully is already in love.

"The X-Files: Signs & Wonders (#7.9)" (2000)
Scully: Snake handling. I didn't learn that in catechism class.
Mulder: That's funny - I knew a couple of catholic school girls who were expert at it!

"The X-Files: Kitsunegari (#5.8)" (1998)
Walter Skinner: Mulder, a moment please?
[waits for Scully to leave the office]
Walter Skinner: I just wanted to say you did a good job.
Fox Mulder: How's that?
Walter Skinner: Nobody could have figured this out but you. You knew it was Linda Bowman and not Modell. You were way ahead of me.
Fox Mulder: I almost killed my partner.
Walter Skinner: Mulder, despite that, you prevailed. You won her game.
Fox Mulder: How come I feel like I lost?

"The X-Files: Sanguinarium (#4.6)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: Are you aware that Dr Lloyd is claiming that he was possessed during the incident?
Nurse Rebecca Waite: I guess it's cheaper than malpractice insurance.

"The X-Files: Paper Hearts (#4.10)" (1996)
Mulder: Scully, do you believe that my sister Samantha was abducted by aliens? Have you ever believed that? No. So what do you think happened to her?
Scully: What are you saying you believe now?
Mulder: I don't know. I don't know what happened. I don't know what to believe. I just know that I have to find out now.

"The X-Files: Anasazi (#2.25)" (1995)
Fox Mulder: You have my files, and you have my gun. Don't ask me for my trust.

"The X-Files: Tempus Fugit (#4.17)" (1997)
[preparing to dive]
Fox Mulder: How deep is it here?
Bruce Bearfeld: 50, 60, maybe. Have you worked at this depth before?
Fox Mulder: Not exactly.
Bruce Bearfeld: What exactly is your experience?
Fox Mulder: Once, I, uh, I got a quarter off of the deep end at the "Y" pool.

"The X-Files: The Amazing Maleeni (#7.8)" (2000)
Fox Mulder: So basically he died of a heart attack, somebody crept up behind him and sawed his head off, and then glued it back on all in the space of 30 seconds. Does that make sense to you?
Dana Scully: No. What makes it even stranger still because as far as I can tell, this body has been dead for over a month. I see signs of refrigeration.
Fox Mulder: And yet he performed yesterday. What a trooper.

"The X-Files: Born Again (#1.22)" (1994)
Mulder: Why is it still so hard for you to believe, even when all the evidence suggests extraordinary phenomena?
Scully: Because sometimes looking for extreme possibilities makes you blind to the probable explanation right in front of you.

"The X-Files: Wetwired (#3.23)" (1996)
Mulder: Scully, you are the only one I trust.

"The X-Files: Shapes (#1.19)" (1994)
Mulder: They told me that even though my deodorant is made for a woman, it's strong enough for a man.

"The X-Files: En Ami (#7.15)" (2000)
Fox Mulder: [Mulder storms into Skinner's office] Sir, I need your attention.
Walter Skinner: Is my assistant...?
Fox Mulder: No. She's away from her desk. I wouldn't just bust in here, but as I said it's a breaking situation
Walter Skinner: [the Lone Gunmen enter and open a laptop on Skinner's table] What the hell's going on here?
Fox Mulder: That's my question exactly. I believe you've all met.
Richard 'Ringo' Langly: Is this place secure?
Walter Skinner: [becoming more annoyed] Is it secure?
Melvin Frohike: Don't get testy, G-man.

"The X-Files: Biogenesis (#6.22)" (1999)
Dana Scully: Well, Mulder, if it were real then why would an American Indian artifact be fused in rock on the west coast of the African continent?
Fox Mulder: In 1996, a rock from Mars was found in Antarctica. How did it get there?
Dana Scully: It was from outer space.
[Mulder smiles and does an exaggerated shrug]

"The X-Files: Kaddish (#4.15)" (1997)
Dana Scully: You haven't heard the rumors?
Curt Brunjes: What rumors?
Dana Scully: That Luria is back from the dead? That he's risen from this grave?
Curt Brunjes: What kind of jew trick is this?
Fox Mulder: A jew pulled it off two thousand years ago.

"The X-Files: Deadalive (#8.15)" (2001)
Scully: Mulder... Hi.
Mulder: Who are you?
Scully: Oh, my God. Don't do that to me. Do you know...? Do you have any idea what you've been through?
Mulder: Only what I see in your face. Anybody miss me?

"The X-Files: Little Green Men (#2.1)" (1994)
Mulder: Before I could only trust myself. Now I can only trust you.

"The X-Files: Herrenvolk (#4.1)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: I've seen too many things not to believe
Scully: I've seen things, too. But there are answers to be found now. We have hope that there's a place to start. That's what I believe.
Fox Mulder: [sighing] You put such faith in your science, Scully, but... from the things I've seen, science provides no place to start.
Scully: Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. And that's a place to start. That's where the hope is.

"The X-Files: The Beginning (#6.1)" (1998)
Fox Mulder: Diana. Back on your feet. I guess that's the only way you can stab me in the back.

"The X-Files: S.R. 819 (#6.9)" (1999)
Uniformed Cop: I'm not so sure you should be doing that.
Fox Mulder: [Flipping through documents on Dr. Orgel's desk] This is a crime scene. What would you rather I be doing?
Uniformed Cop: Uh, it's just that I'm concerned for Dr. Orgel's personal property and the preservation of evidence.
Fox Mulder: I would be a lot more concerned with the preservation of Dr. Orgel.

"The X-Files: The Post-Modern Prometheus (#5.5)" (1997)
Dana Scully: Why are you humoring them Mulder?
Fox Mulder: I'm not humoring them, Scully. This is a very serious crime.
Dana Scully: So is perjury. So is calling out F.B.I. agents under false pretenses.
Fox Mulder: For the purpose of what?
Dana Scully: Isn't it obvious? I think what we're seeing here is an example of a culture for whom daytime talk shows and tabloid headlines have become a reality against which they measure their lives. A culture so obsessed by the media and a chance for self-dramatization that they'll do anything in order to gain a spotlight.
Fox Mulder: I am alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype. Not everybody's dream is to get on Jerry Springer.
Dana Scully: Psychologists often speak of the denial of an unthinkable evil or a misplacement of shared fears, anxieties taking the form of a hideous monster for whom the most horrific human attributes can be ascribed. What we can't possibly imagine ourselves capable of we can blame on the ogre, on the hunchback, on the lowly half-breed. Common sense alone will tell you that these legends, these unverified rumors, are ridiculous.
Fox Mulder: But nonetheless, unverifiable and, therefore, true in the sense that they're believed to be true.
Dana Scully: Is there anything that you don't believe in, Mulder?

"The X-Files: Talitha Cumi (#3.24)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: [Shoves Cigarette Smoking Man up against the wall] you gonna smoke that?
[referring to cigarette]
Fox Mulder: or you wanna smoke on this?
[holds up a gun]
The Cigarette Smoking Man: [mockingly] are you giving me a choice?
Fox Mulder: [Mulder slaps the cigarette out of his mouth] I'd shoot you right here except they'd probably be able to save you!
The Cigarette Smoking Man: Do it... do it, Agent Mulder.
Fox Mulder: Or maybe I'll just put a bullet in your brain so you'll be bedridden for the rest of your life like my mother!
The Cigarette Smoking Man: [worriedly] how is she?
Fox Mulder: What do you care?
The Cigarette Smoking Man: I've known her since before you were born... Fox.

"The X-Files: Unruhe (#4.4)" (1996)
Fox Mulder: [Interrogating Gerald Schnauz] Do you want to tell us about the first time you were arrested, Gerry?
Dana Scully: In 1980 you attacked your father with an axe handle. You beat him so severely that he spent the remainder of his life in a wheelchair.
Gerry Schnauz: I was not jailed, I was institutionalized. I had a kind of... chemical imbalance.
Fox Mulder: Yeah,
[reading from folder]
Fox Mulder: 'Gerald Thomas Schnauz diagnosed and treated for a paranoid schizophrenic disorder. Six years in Melvoyne Psychiatic Hospital. Released 1986.' So what have you been up to since 1986, Gerry?
Gerry Schnauz: Taking care of my father. Looking after him 24 hours a day. Making amends. He, uh... passed away in January.
Fox Mulder: How did you feel about that?
Gerry Schnauz: Sad...
Fox Mulder: It says here you have a sister. Where is your sister, Gerry?
Gerry Schnauz: She passed...
Fox Mulder: Actually, it says here she committed suicide in 1980. God, that was a bad year. What else happened in 1980, Gerry?
Gerry Schnauz: [Heated, almost indignant] Well, John Lennon got shot...

"The X-Files: Space (#1.9)" (1993)
Fox Mulder: You never wanted to be an astronaut when you were a kid?
Dana Scully: l missed that phase.

"The X-Files: Our Town (#2.24)" (1995)
Dana Scully: What are you talking about?
Fox Mulder: Some cannibalistic rituals are enacted with the belief that they can prolong life.
Dana Scully: Cannibalism is one thing, but increasing longevity by eating human flesh...
Fox Mulder: Think about it. From vampirism to Catholicism, whether literally or symbolically, the reward for eating flesh is eternal life.

"The X-Files: Ascension (#2.6)" (1994)
Walter Skinner: There's nothing you can do.
Fox Mulder: What can you do about it?
Walter Skinner: There's only one thing I can do, Agent Mulder. As of right now, I'm reopening the X Files. That's what they fear the most.

"The X-Files: The List (#3.5)" (1995)
Fox Mulder: Every major world religion encompasses the idea of life after death. That means millions, even billions, of people believe in some kind of transmigration or rebirth of the soul.
Dana Scully: I'm sorry, Mulder. That's not what I learned in catechism.
Fox Mulder: Well, even Christianity teaches about the resurrection and ascendancy of the heavenly body.

"The X-Files: Synchrony (#4.19)" (1997)
Mulder: If Lucas Menand never gets hit by that bus, his complaint gets heard before the grand committee, Jason Nichols loses his funding and he never gets to collaborate on his research with Dr. Yonechi. Therefore, this photograph never gets taken because this celebration never happens.
Scully: ...And if your sister is your aunt and your mother marries your uncle, you'd be your own grandpa!

"The X-Files: Orison (#7.7)" (2000)
Mulder: You know, it's funny, when all is said and done, there's not much mystery in murder.

"The X-Files: Miracle Man (#1.18)" (1994)
Mulder: I think I saw some of these same people at Woodstock.
Scully: Mulder, you weren't at Woodstock.
Mulder: I saw the movie.

"The X-Files: Zero Sum (#4.21)" (1997)
[catching Skinner off-guard]
Fox Mulder: I was just trying to reach you. I think your phone's off the hook.
Walter Skinner: I needed some sleep.
Fox Mulder: Is that why you're taking the garbage out at 4 in the morning?

"The X-Files: Teliko (#4.3)" (1996)
Mulder: [seeing the corpse of an albino man] There's a Michael Jackson joke in here somewhere.

"The X-Files: Vienen (#8.18)" (2001)
John Doggett: I never would have believed it. These stories about you.
Mulder: Really? What stories are those?
John Doggett: That you could find a conspiracy at a church picnic.
Mulder: What church?

"The X-Files: D.P.O. (#3.3)" (1995)
Fox Mulder: I found it between Miss April and the Women of the Ivy League.

"The X-Files: Firewalker (#2.9)" (1994)
Mulder: I'm going to go find Trepkos.
Scully: What if he's already dead?
Mulder: Then he'll have a tough time answering my questions.

"The X-Files: Lazarus (#1.15)" (1994)
Dana Scully: What does that mean?
Fox Mulder: It means... it means whatever you want it to mean.

"The X-Files: Rush (#7.5)" (1999)
Mulder: Max could tell them. You know why you collapsed don't you, Max?
Max Harden: Yeah, too much teen spirit.
Mulder: You think? Smells like murder to me.

"The X-Files: Gender Bender (#1.14)" (1994)
Scully: There's something up there Mulder
Mulder: Oh I've been saying that for years.

"The X-Files: Fallen Angel (#1.10)" (1993)
[about Mulder using a nickname]
Fox Mulder: l didn't think anybody was paying attention.
Max Fenig: Somebody is always paying attention, Mr. Mulder.

"The X-Files: Young at Heart (#1.16)" (1994)
Scully: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.
Mulder: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it?

"The X-Files: 731 (#3.10)" (1995)
Scully: Don't you see Mulder, you're doing their work for them. You're chasing aliens that aren't there, helping them to create the story that covers the shameful truth. And what they can't cover they apologize for. Apology has become policy.
Mulder: Maybe. Maybe you're right, Scully. But I don't need an apology for the lies. I don't care about the fictions they create to cover their crimes. I want them held accountable for what did happen. I want them to apologize for the truth.

"The X-Files: Duane Barry (#2.5)" (1994)
Scully: You okay Mulder?
Fox Mulder: [Nod] Yea.
Scully: Whatever you are feeling
Scully: you did the right thing.
Fox Mulder: I know it's just that a
Fox Mulder: I believed him.
Scully: 'Sometimes when you want to believe so badly you end up
Scully: looking too hard'.

"The X-Files: Ghost in the Machine (#1.7)" (1993)
Fox Mulder: They can't just take a man like Brad Wilczek... without an explanation.
Deep Throat: They can do anything they want.

"The X-Files: Sein und Zeit (#7.10)" (2000)
Scully: Mulder?
Mulder: Over here.
Scully: What is it?
Mulder: Diazepam. She used them to sleep.
Scully: Is there a note?
Mulder: No. She called when I was in California. She wanted to talk, but, uh... I never called her back.
Scully: Mulder...
Mulder: I didn't... Why would she do this? It just doesn't make any sense.
Scully: We never truly know why.
Mulder: No, she wouldn't kill herself. Why are these pictures gone? There were photos here. There were photos of my sister and I. This is all that she had left of us and they're missing. Why...? She saw me on the news. She wanted to talk about the missing girl, Amber Lynn. She wanted to tell me something about her, or maybe she couldn't tell me over the phone because she was afraid that they would do something like this to her.
Scully: Who?
Mulder: Whoever took my sister. Look at this place. I mean, it's like... it's all staged - the pills, the oven, the tape. It's like a bad movie script. They would... they would have come here and they would have threatened her. She would be upset; they would have to sedate her. I would look for a, uh... a needle puncture mark or something else in her system besides these pills.
Scully: No, Mulder. Please don't ask me to do this.
Mulder: Scully, who else can I ask?
Scully: An autopsy, Mulder? I mean, it's one thing on a stranger but you're my friend, and she's your mother...
Mulder: I know, but if you don't do it, I might never know the truth.

"The X-Files: Oubliette (#3.8)" (1995)
[in regards to Amy Jacobs being abducted]
Fox Mulder: I know you must be feeling...
Myra Jacobs: I'm sorry... but how can you really know how I feel?

"The X-Files: Home Again (#10.4)" (2016)
Fox Mulder: What? I wasn't gonna shoot the kid. I don't do stairs anymore.
Dana Scully: Mulder, back in the day, I used to do stairs and in three-inch heels.
Fox Mulder: Back in the day. Scully, back in the day is now.

"The X-Files: The Red and the Black (#5.14)" (1998)
Krycek: You must be losing it, Mulder. I can beat you with one hand.
Mulder: Isn't that how you like to beat yourself?
[Krycek cocks gun]
Mulder: If those were my last words, I can do better.

"The X-Files: Demons (#4.23)" (1997)
Dana Scully: Mulder, I refuse to believe that you had any part in this.
Fox Mulder: I had those people's blood on my shirt, Scully. I was missing for two days, I have no recollection of my actions during those two days, there were two rounds discharged from my gun, I had the keys to this house and the keys to their car. Do the words "Orenthal James Simpson" mean anything to you?