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Quotes for
Liz (Character)
from Shaun of the Dead (2004)

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Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Liz: Shaun?
Shaun: Yeah?
Liz: You see what I'm saying?
Shaun: Yep, totally.
Liz: I know he's your best friend, but you do live with him.
Shaun: I know.
Liz: It's not that I don't like Ed.
[Liz looks over at Ed who is playing an arcade game]
Liz: Ed, it's not that I don't like you.
Ed: It's all right.
Liz: It would just be nice if we could...
Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] Fuck!
Liz: ...spend a bit more time together...
Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] Bollocks!
Liz: ...just the two of us.
Ed: [talking to the arcade machine] Cock it!
Liz: It's just with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flat-mates out and then that only exacerbates things.
Shaun: What do you mean?
Liz: Well you guys hardly get on, do you?
Shaun: No, what does "exacerbate" mean?
Liz: It means um, to make things worse.
Shaun: Right. Well I mean, it's not that I don't like David and Di.
[Shaun looks over at David and Di at the table next to them]
Shaun: Guys, it's not that I don't like you.
David, Dianne: [together] It's all right.
Shaun: And it's not that I don't want to spend time with you cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends.
Ed: Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?

David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think you should go.

[Shaun hands Liz a bunch of flowers]
Shaun: Got you these.
[Liz reads the label]
Liz: "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...
[long pause]
Liz: They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.

[a jukebox begins playing Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" while the zombie pub owner attacks the group]
Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!

[Shaun is surprised to see that Liz has a pack of cigarettes]
Liz: You left them in my flat.
Shaun: Yeah, in the bin!
Liz: I was desperate.
Shaun: Sneaky monkey...

Liz: You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
Shaun: Well, that's a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words!
Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress!

[David is pointing a gun at Barbara and Shaun is trying to stop him]

Liz: Well... is it clear?
Shaun: No.
Liz: How many?
Shaun: Lots.
[pan up to show a horde of zombies behind the fence]

[while he is disguised as a zombie, Ed's phone rings and he answers it]
[others look horrified]
Ed: Two seconds!
[he chats on his phone until Shaun knocks it out of his hand]
Ed: Oi! What are you doing?
Shaun: [shouts] What am I doing? What are you doing, you stupid moron?
Ed: Fuck off!
Shaun: [shouts] You fuck off! Fuck fucking off! I've spent... look at me! I've spent my entire life sticking my neck out for you and all you ever do is fuck things up! Fuck things up and make me look stupid! Well, I'm not going to let you do it any more. OK? Not today!
Liz: Shaun!
Shaun: What?
[sees the hundreds of zombies staring at them]
Shaun: Oh.

Liz: Goodbye, Ed. Love you.
Ed: Cheers!
Shaun: I love you too, man.
Ed: Gaaayy!

Shaun: As Bertrand Russell once said, "The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation." I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now.
Liz: Was that on a beer mat?
Shaun: Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold.
Liz: I won't say anything.
Shaun: Thanks.

Shaun: Well maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves.
Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I'll only muck it up if I have to do myself.
[Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels]
Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same night.
Liz: [pauses] What makes you think I'd have taken you back?
Shaun: Well... You don't want to die single do you?
Ed: [interrupting] That's it. I would like to be shot.
Shaun: Besides, I've changed. I haven't had a fag since yesterday, I promise!
Ed: He hasn't!

Shaun: You've been to a lock-in.
Liz: Several.

Liz: You should do me. I'll muck it up if I have to do myself.
Shaun: [breaking down] I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum and my girlfriend all in the same evening!

Liz, Declan: [as each survivor passes by their parallel counterpart] Hi.
David, Mark: [formally] Hello.
Dianne, Maggie: [friendly] Hi!
Barbara, Yvonne's Mum: [politely] Hello.
Ed, Cousin Tom: [too involved with their cell phones, briefly glancing at each other, muttering] Hello.